1
00:00:01,209 --> 00:00:02,794
Sazz was my friend.
2
00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:04,087
We're trying to solve her murder.
3
00:00:04,087 --> 00:00:06,297
Right. For your podcast.
4
00:00:08,758 --> 00:00:11,011
Ben Glenroy?
Ben's dead!
5
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,847
I'm Glen Stubbins, Ben's stunt double.
6
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,515
Can ya help me get a job on your film?
7
00:00:15,515 --> 00:00:17,767
You lost your stunt double.
I lost my acting double.
8
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:19,644
We could make each other whole again.
9
00:00:19,644 --> 00:00:21,187
Oh God, they've been shot!
10
00:00:21,187 --> 00:00:22,897
It's Glen! He's still alive!
11
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,816
Stubbins is stable, but unconscious.
12
00:00:24,816 --> 00:00:27,610
The bullet struck the plate in his head
and deflected to Gali-fine-akis.
13
00:00:27,610 --> 00:00:30,780
I sign on to your crazy for a lifetime.
14
00:00:30,780 --> 00:00:33,033
You're giving me a doll's bracelet?
15
00:00:33,033 --> 00:00:37,412
I'm proposing to you, Oliver.
I wanna marry you.
16
00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:40,206
We're getting married
this weekend!
17
00:00:40,206 --> 00:00:43,752
Sazz figured this all out.
Maybe that's what she wanted to tell me.
18
00:00:43,752 --> 00:00:46,463
I vanted to tell you something
about your friend, Sazz.
19
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:48,006
She was on the ham radio,
20
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:50,800
asking about all dese huge plot holes
you had in your podcast.
21
00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:54,596
You're how Sazz knew about
all the West Tower stuff in her notes.
22
00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:59,309
She talked about a stuntman on a movie
called Project Ronkonkoma.
23
00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:01,227
She said, "He's gonna be the death of me."
24
00:01:01,227 --> 00:01:03,104
What's Project Ronkonkoma?
25
00:01:03,104 --> 00:01:05,106
Here we go! Project Ronkonkoma.
26
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:07,358
Who's the stunt person?
Is it someone we can talk to?
27
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:09,652
Not exactly.
28
00:01:16,367 --> 00:01:20,538
For those of us in film and TV,
the people you work with are everything.
29
00:01:20,914 --> 00:01:23,333
Until it's time to move on
to the next show,
30
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,668
and then it's easy to lose touch.
31
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,463
Talk to Pataki.
32
00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:30,799
Hey hey, Spanko! How's it goin', man?
33
00:01:30,799 --> 00:01:32,801
No, no, you're good. I'm just leavin' set.
34
00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:37,263
Project Ronkonkoma!
Of course I can wrestle up a team!
35
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,307
But sometimes,
you meet a person
36
00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:41,518
you don't want to let go of.
37
00:01:41,518 --> 00:01:44,104
And sometimes, they can change your life
38
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,272
in ways you never saw coming.
39
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,357
Ha, ha!
40
00:01:51,861 --> 00:01:52,946
Geez!
41
00:01:52,946 --> 00:01:56,116
That was some flip!
42
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:58,493
I teach that in
my Advanced Somersault Intensive,
43
00:01:58,493 --> 00:01:59,869
which is in the winter.
44
00:02:01,663 --> 00:02:03,748
You ever stunted before?
45
00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:08,086
There he is.
46
00:02:08,086 --> 00:02:09,838
Excuse me, you can't go in there.
47
00:02:09,838 --> 00:02:12,382
Oh, uh, we have to. Uh, we're his family.
48
00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:14,676
Uh, that's right.
We're the Stubbins, you know.
49
00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:18,721
I'm Oliver. Th-This cailín is Mabel,
and of course, you've met cousin Charles.
50
00:02:18,721 --> 00:02:20,682
And it sure is good to know ya!
51
00:02:20,682 --> 00:02:22,142
Well, the accent's new.
52
00:02:22,142 --> 00:02:23,560
Well, it's in and out.
53
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,104
Okay, fine, we're here
investigating a murder,
54
00:02:26,104 --> 00:02:27,689
and we need to see Glen.
55
00:02:27,689 --> 00:02:30,108
Glen is in a fragile state.
56
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:32,402
He can't be subjected to
an interrogation right now.
57
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:36,114
No need to worry, darlin'.
These are mild questions.
58
00:02:36,114 --> 00:02:39,993
Like, uh, "We heard Sazz was
beefin' with her protégé.
59
00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,453
Might that be you, Glen Stubbins?"
60
00:02:42,453 --> 00:02:46,374
And sure,
whatever happened on Project Ronkonkoma
61
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,168
on the Erin's green isle?
62
00:02:48,168 --> 00:02:49,919
Um, and you know,
63
00:02:49,919 --> 00:02:52,463
"Did you murder our friend?"
64
00:02:53,214 --> 00:02:55,717
You're not goin' in. That's final.
65
00:02:55,717 --> 00:02:56,926
Also, what's with the beer?
66
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:59,846
Oh, uh, we were going to...
- No, please.
67
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,681
...l-lure him out of his coma.
68
00:03:02,640 --> 00:03:05,894
Ya thought the smell
of beer would rouse him?
69
00:03:05,894 --> 00:03:08,396
Why? 'Cause he's Irish?
70
00:03:08,396 --> 00:03:10,106
Did ya bring some corned beef, too?
71
00:03:10,106 --> 00:03:12,233
No...
72
00:03:12,233 --> 00:03:14,444
We also brought smellin' salts.
73
00:03:14,444 --> 00:03:16,946
Good luck accusin' that
of being in bad taste.
74
00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:19,240
I don't even know if they work.
75
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:22,744
They work. They work.
76
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,287
We also brought a witchy board
77
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:27,373
on the off-chance
he could control it with his mind.
78
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:29,959
So?
79
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:35,048
Well, the nurse said that
she'd call if Glen wakes up.
80
00:03:35,048 --> 00:03:37,008
Oh.
So, what do we do now?
81
00:03:37,008 --> 00:03:39,302
What do I do with all this beer?
82
00:03:39,302 --> 00:03:41,137
Sazz gave them to me the night she died,
83
00:03:41,137 --> 00:03:43,306
but I'm never gonna drink them
'cause, as you know,
84
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:44,974
beer is a peasant's drink.
85
00:03:44,974 --> 00:03:47,227
Oliver, I'll take your peasant's beer
86
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,020
because I'm such a good friend.
87
00:03:49,354 --> 00:03:51,231
You know, I've been thinking.
88
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:54,400
You're getting married in a few days,
and what if I took you out
89
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,570
and bought you a non-beer drink to,
uh, celebrate?
90
00:03:58,738 --> 00:04:01,366
Charles, are you offering
to throw me a bachelor party?
91
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,326
I don't care what people say.
92
00:04:03,326 --> 00:04:05,411
You're not an ice prince.
93
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,997
Good people.
94
00:04:08,706 --> 00:04:11,167
Guys, it's the bartender from Concussions.
95
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,543
Ah!
96
00:04:12,543 --> 00:04:16,381
The three jackasses who promised
to solve Sazz's murder.
97
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,674
We're still doing that.
98
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:20,051
Hm, racked up a coma along the way.
99
00:04:20,051 --> 00:04:22,512
Hey, uh, you're in the stunt world.
100
00:04:22,512 --> 00:04:24,973
We heard Sazz's protégé on
Project Ronkonkoma
101
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:27,058
was giving her a hard time,
102
00:04:27,058 --> 00:04:29,394
and Glen Stubbins ended up
with credit on the movie.
103
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:30,812
No.
104
00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:33,815
Glen was brought in
to replace Sazz's protégé.
105
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:37,402
The guy fucked up so bad,
Sazz had to blackball him.
106
00:04:38,069 --> 00:04:41,698
So, Sazz ended her protégé's career,
107
00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:43,616
and then Glen replaced him.
108
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:46,202
That's motive to kill both of 'em.
109
00:04:47,078 --> 00:04:50,623
So, Glen was never our shooter.
He was another victim.
110
00:04:50,623 --> 00:04:52,250
Who was this protégé?
111
00:04:52,250 --> 00:04:55,628
And what happened on Project Ronkonkoma?
I didn't know the guy.
112
00:04:55,628 --> 00:05:00,883
The only ones who know what went down
are Sazz, Glen, and the director.
113
00:05:01,426 --> 00:05:04,387
So, all we have to do is track down
the director of that movie,
114
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:05,930
who was...
115
00:05:05,930 --> 00:05:07,015
Ron Howard.
116
00:05:09,350 --> 00:05:11,936
Finally, a celebrity this season!
117
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,573
{\an8}
118
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:08,576
Oh! Your first
professional fire stunt.
119
00:06:08,576 --> 00:06:10,453
{\an8}Oh! Alright.
120
00:06:10,453 --> 00:06:13,039
{\an8}Now I know we've been
over this a million times.
121
00:06:13,039 --> 00:06:15,666
{\an8}We're gonna make it a million and one.
Ready?
122
00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:17,126
Mm-hmm.
Step one,
123
00:06:17,126 --> 00:06:20,880
{\an8}grab your fireproof jock from
the deep freeze. Strap it on.
124
00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:25,134
{\an8}Step two, slather up
your tender bits with this stuff.
125
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:27,011
Wrists, neck, ankles.
126
00:06:27,011 --> 00:06:29,806
{\an8}Anything not covered by...
127
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,016
{\an8}this flame-retardant vest,
128
00:06:32,016 --> 00:06:34,185
{\an8}AKA step three.
129
00:06:34,185 --> 00:06:36,646
{\an8}Yeah, it's a bit tattered,
it's a bit old school,
130
00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:40,191
{\an8}but it's a gift from my old man,
and it's kept me safe all these years.
131
00:06:40,191 --> 00:06:42,652
{\an8}Here, for you. Try it on.
132
00:06:42,652 --> 00:06:44,445
{\an8}Lather yourself up,
133
00:06:44,445 --> 00:06:46,531
{\an8}and we're gonna torch you.
134
00:06:46,531 --> 00:06:48,449
{\an8}Ooh! I'm so psyched for you.
135
00:06:48,449 --> 00:06:50,618
{\an8}Frank! You good?
136
00:06:54,038 --> 00:06:57,375
Well, took us long enough,
but we finally are on the right track.
137
00:06:57,375 --> 00:07:01,087
{\an8}Only question is how the hell
do we get to Ron Howard?
138
00:07:01,796 --> 00:07:06,300
Well, I've been waiting to tell you this
for maximum impact, but...
139
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:10,847
Ron-Ron and I are close personal friends.
140
00:07:10,847 --> 00:07:13,099
And you know it's true
because he called him Ron-Ron.
141
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:16,644
I'll have you know our headshots
are hung right next to each other
142
00:07:16,644 --> 00:07:18,438
at my favorite Chinese restaurant.
143
00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,399
Well, next to each other
in an across-and-down sort of way.
144
00:07:21,399 --> 00:07:23,734
My face is covered by a plant,
145
00:07:23,734 --> 00:07:26,279
but my pompadour is pompin'.
146
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:29,490
Great. Your pictures know each other.
That's incredibly helpful.
147
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:32,243
Devastating that you know me so well
148
00:07:32,243 --> 00:07:35,663
and yet you could think
that was the end of my story.
149
00:07:35,663 --> 00:07:37,874
The year!
150
00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,334
1988.
151
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,378
I was 10 dumplings deep,
152
00:07:42,378 --> 00:07:46,007
but who should enter?
Hollywood's own, Ron Howard.
153
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:50,261
Next thing you know,
we're sharing an off-menu soup
154
00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:53,890
that is so spicy,
we sweat through our shirts.
155
00:07:54,474 --> 00:07:55,892
We talked into the wee hours,
156
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:58,603
topless, and, I don't know,
157
00:07:58,603 --> 00:08:00,521
maybe we danced on top of the table.
158
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:03,274
I'm not sure.
The end of the evening is a bit fuzzy.
159
00:08:03,274 --> 00:08:06,319
Not unlike Ron-Ron's chest,
which I do remember.
160
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:08,237
You saw Ron Howard's nipples?
161
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:11,157
Oh, my God!
- Like two little cardinals in a bush.
162
00:08:11,157 --> 00:08:13,701
Okay, let's just say that story is true.
163
00:08:13,701 --> 00:08:17,330
Why don't you give, uh, your good friend
a call and get us some info?
164
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,540
Well, this was before cell phones, Mabel.
165
00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:20,833
Mm.
- I only have the number
166
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,293
to his car fax machine,
167
00:08:22,293 --> 00:08:24,378
but if we stake out the restaurant,
we'll find him.
168
00:08:24,378 --> 00:08:27,131
You know what? I'm just gonna call
169
00:08:27,131 --> 00:08:29,717
Tommy Hanks and just get his number.
170
00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:32,178
I mean, he's one of my close
personal friends, you know,
171
00:08:32,178 --> 00:08:34,514
because, one time,
I watched The Polar Express.
172
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:38,309
That is fu-- Although,
173
00:08:38,309 --> 00:08:40,311
speaking of Tom Hanks,
we should invite him.
174
00:08:40,311 --> 00:08:41,562
Invite him to what?
175
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:43,022
My bachelor party.
176
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:46,275
I've literally spent the entire time
with you since the hospital.
177
00:08:46,275 --> 00:08:48,528
- When would I have ever done that?
- I-I'm sorry. Yes, okay.
178
00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:51,531
B-But, the invites should
go out soon, Charles.
179
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,116
Yeah, Charles. I mean,
you have, like, 50 hours,
180
00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,827
which means you're looking at Evites.
181
00:08:56,827 --> 00:08:59,830
Evites. Yeah, that's not the classiest,
182
00:08:59,830 --> 00:09:02,124
but that is the hand we have been dealt.
183
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:04,710
Alright, I'll keep it simple.
I just want three little things
184
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,420
for my bachelor party.
185
00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,964
Whiskey,
186
00:09:07,964 --> 00:09:09,924
A-list celebrities,
187
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,635
and someone who does something naughty,
188
00:09:12,635 --> 00:09:15,513
and we all have to keep it a secret
for the rest of our lives.
189
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,765
I'll give you an acronym
to help you remember.
190
00:09:17,765 --> 00:09:20,560
W-A-N-S, WANS.
191
00:09:21,769 --> 00:09:25,022
Whiskey, A-list celebrities,
naughty secret.
192
00:09:25,022 --> 00:09:26,315
Got it.
193
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:28,943
H-E-L-P.
194
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,612
This seems like a really
good time for me to exit.
195
00:09:31,612 --> 00:09:34,115
So, I am gonna go visit someone
196
00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,242
who can actually help us find Ron Howard.
197
00:09:41,956 --> 00:09:44,458
Come in.
198
00:09:44,458 --> 00:09:46,419
Mabel!
- Hey.
199
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,129
You look so pretty!
200
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,298
Wait, did we have something
on the books for today?
201
00:09:50,298 --> 00:09:51,882
Hold.
202
00:09:51,882 --> 00:09:53,050
Skylar?
[on phone] Hi.
203
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:55,636
Hi, did we have something
on the books with Mabel today?
204
00:09:55,636 --> 00:09:57,346
Maybe. I-I don't remember.
205
00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:59,140
I-It's fine if you forgot.
206
00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:00,558
I keep forgetting!
207
00:10:00,558 --> 00:10:02,184
You're in a safe space, don't worry.
208
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,689
No, please don't take another
mental health day. Please, no.
209
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,775
Okay, good. Bye.
210
00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:11,861
Can't take it anymore.
211
00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:15,281
Uh... [nervous laugh] Sorry,
there was nothing on the books today.
212
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:19,035
I, um, I just--
I wanted to ask you about--
213
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:20,369
About the movie?
214
00:10:21,871 --> 00:10:24,165
Ugh, let me tell you.
The movie is addicted
215
00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:26,459
to being a piece of shit.
216
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:28,753
I hate the costumes. They're awful.
217
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:32,006
Eva Longoria is constantly unavailable
218
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:35,885
because of some TED Talk
or billionaire's birthday.
219
00:10:35,885 --> 00:10:39,805
The Brothers Sisters are
draining every last drop of me.
220
00:10:41,891 --> 00:10:44,518
But, they do keep asking
for more Mabel scenes,
221
00:10:44,518 --> 00:10:46,562
which is interesting.
Something about your...
222
00:10:46,562 --> 00:10:48,856
"erotic non-sexuality."
223
00:10:48,856 --> 00:10:50,900
Yeah, it's the sweaters.
224
00:10:50,900 --> 00:10:53,694
And every draft that Marshall turns in
is worse than the last.
225
00:10:53,694 --> 00:10:56,781
It's like I can't even remember
the script that I fell in love with.
226
00:10:56,781 --> 00:11:00,076
And I don't know if it's the two
coffee enemas that I took this morning,
227
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:02,703
but I'm starting to think
that the Brothers Sisters
228
00:11:02,703 --> 00:11:05,456
aren't actually identical.
229
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,848
Well, uh, I just-- I came by
230
00:11:22,848 --> 00:11:26,060
because I'm trying to
track down Ron Howard.
231
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:28,396
Uh, do you, by chance, know where he is?
232
00:11:28,396 --> 00:11:30,272
Of course, I know where that fucker is.
233
00:11:30,272 --> 00:11:31,941
Wait, you do?
Oh yes, Mabel.
234
00:11:31,941 --> 00:11:34,068
You're nobody in this town
if you ain't keeping track of...
235
00:11:34,068 --> 00:11:36,237
Ron Howard.
236
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,281
He's actually in New York
right now shooting a movie.
237
00:11:40,449 --> 00:11:42,368
No one knows what it's about
or who's in it,
238
00:11:42,368 --> 00:11:45,121
but I did hear that
it's very autobiographical
239
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,832
and very personal and very small,
240
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,376
and the budget is $200 million.
241
00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:54,130
Uh--
242
00:11:54,130 --> 00:11:56,048
Can I ask you a question?
243
00:11:57,007 --> 00:11:59,844
When you talk, do you say "bro"?
244
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:02,972
Bro? No, I hang out with 70-year-olds.
245
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:05,057
Right. That's what I thought.
246
00:12:06,767 --> 00:12:09,395
These pages are a big fat suck-fest.
247
00:12:09,854 --> 00:12:11,522
You know what? I have an idea.
248
00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:14,442
What if I give you Ron Howard's address,
249
00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:16,944
and you do something for me,
250
00:12:16,944 --> 00:12:19,697
and that would be taking
a pass on these scenes,
251
00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:23,075
but you have to make sure it sounds like
the real Mabel. What do you think?
252
00:12:24,577 --> 00:12:26,996
If, uh, if this lead pans out,
253
00:12:26,996 --> 00:12:29,582
maybe, uh,
I can help you when I come back.
254
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:32,209
Yes! Here you go.
255
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,544
Thank you.
256
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,755
Uh, goodbye.
Bye.
257
00:12:37,673 --> 00:12:40,426
Everyone, we need all
Escape From Planet Klongo NDAs
258
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,844
signed before entering.
259
00:12:41,844 --> 00:12:42,928
Oh.
260
00:12:42,928 --> 00:12:44,930
Okay, okay, let me take the lead.
261
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,390
If I drop my name,
262
00:12:46,390 --> 00:12:49,560
Ron Howard will swing
that velvet rope wide open.
263
00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,937
I think I should.
Security guards love Brazzos.
264
00:12:51,937 --> 00:12:53,856
I'm kinda their Princess Diana.
265
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,776
I think I should,
mostly because I'm neither of you.
266
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,861
Hold up. You got badges?
267
00:12:58,861 --> 00:13:01,113
Oh yeah, I got a badge. Huh?
268
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,326
From Brazzos? TV show?
Your dad probably watched?
269
00:13:05,910 --> 00:13:08,078
Emmy nomination for sound?
Um,
270
00:13:08,078 --> 00:13:09,872
sorry, we just, we need to talk
271
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:12,374
to Mr. Howard about an investigation.
272
00:13:12,374 --> 00:13:14,168
We're professional podcasters.
273
00:13:14,168 --> 00:13:15,628
Only Murders in the Building.
274
00:13:15,628 --> 00:13:17,755
We're the most listened to murder podcast
275
00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,216
on the Upper West Side
that's sponsored by a deli chain.
276
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:22,259
Yeah, you're not gettin' in here.
277
00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:26,055
W-Well, i-if you could just tell Ron-Ron
that Ollie Putnam is here.
278
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:29,099
No, no. Tell him "off-menu soup."
279
00:13:31,852 --> 00:13:34,772
Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!
280
00:13:36,482 --> 00:13:38,359
Ah! Ah! Hot, hot, hot, hot, hot!
281
00:13:38,359 --> 00:13:41,111
He'll know who that means.
Look.
282
00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:44,448
I'ma be real with you.
I don't really watch TV,
283
00:13:44,448 --> 00:13:46,116
and congrats on the podcast.
284
00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:48,118
I mean, that's, that's huge,
and it's so amazing
285
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,538
that you have an inside joke
with Ron Howard,
286
00:13:50,538 --> 00:13:52,373
but if I let you in,
287
00:13:52,373 --> 00:13:54,500
then I'll lose my job,
and then I won't have enough money
288
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,085
to go to Disneyland with my cousins,
289
00:13:56,085 --> 00:13:58,587
and we've been planning
this trip for years.
290
00:13:58,587 --> 00:14:00,464
So, just in case my boss is listening,
291
00:14:00,464 --> 00:14:01,966
get outta here!
292
00:14:01,966 --> 00:14:03,551
Okay.
293
00:14:04,635 --> 00:14:07,304
Ugh, that was a very charming rejection.
294
00:14:07,304 --> 00:14:09,265
Background actors?
295
00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,058
Yes?
296
00:14:11,058 --> 00:14:13,018
You were supposed to arrive
10 minutes ago. Move it!
297
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:15,229
Oh! [scoffs, mumbles] Time.
298
00:14:16,063 --> 00:14:17,106
Background.
299
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:18,774
Have fun with your cousins.
300
00:14:18,774 --> 00:14:20,776
- Get your badge.
- Yes.
301
00:14:21,318 --> 00:14:22,820
Thank you.
302
00:14:26,198 --> 00:14:28,659
I'm not gonna have to do
any acting, right?
303
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:31,787
Are you nervous?
You know your hobby is chasing murderers?
304
00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:33,163
Oh yeah, that's somehow less scary.
305
00:14:34,123 --> 00:14:36,959
Well, good news.
As soon as we step on set,
306
00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,879
Ron-Ron will recognize me,
and we'll get pulled away.
307
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:42,172
And don't worry. Background actors
don't really have to do much.
308
00:14:42,172 --> 00:14:44,174
You just be natural.
309
00:14:44,174 --> 00:14:45,718
You know, I hadn't thought of it before,
310
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:49,388
but I guess it's time for me
to change my emergency contact to Loretta.
311
00:14:50,055 --> 00:14:51,557
A whole new life.
312
00:14:51,557 --> 00:14:54,018
Gives me chills.
Okay, listen up!
313
00:14:54,018 --> 00:14:57,855
I need everyone to line up
and deliver your best terrified reaction.
314
00:14:57,855 --> 00:14:59,481
Best 10 stay, the rest go home.
315
00:14:59,481 --> 00:15:01,609
You said background actors
don't have to do much.
316
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:04,528
Well, honey, they do now, so buckle up.
317
00:15:04,528 --> 00:15:07,281
Okay, let's go, guys.
Alright, line up over here.
318
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:11,243
I don't know whether to go big,
do I go small,
319
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:14,204
or communicate the unspeakable horror
using only my teeth?
320
00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,249
Not that.
You first.
321
00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:22,171
You're in.
- Oh.
322
00:15:22,963 --> 00:15:25,507
What do I do?
- I think big. I think we go big.
323
00:15:26,133 --> 00:15:27,259
I was hoping for big.
324
00:15:30,304 --> 00:15:31,889
- You're out.
- Damn.
325
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:33,724
Final answer, small.
We're going small.
326
00:15:33,724 --> 00:15:36,101
Small is sophisticated.
Small is for the silver screen.
327
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:39,021
- Really keeping us on our toes here.
- You.
328
00:15:45,569 --> 00:15:47,947
- Thought we said small.
- That was my small.
329
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,240
- You're in.
- Oh, thank you.
330
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:54,578
Oh, my God, Brazzos?
331
00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:56,872
Ah. So nice to meet a fan.
332
00:15:56,872 --> 00:15:58,415
I'm sure Ron'll want to say hello.
333
00:15:58,415 --> 00:15:59,750
You're doing background now?
334
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:03,253
That's so sad. You can be in the movie.
335
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:04,964
You're still in the game. You're in.
336
00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:08,050
- This way.
- No! I don't think I can do this.
337
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:09,134
You.
338
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:13,597
Wow, great. You're in.
339
00:16:13,597 --> 00:16:15,099
Head on over to wardrobe and makeup.
340
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:33,283
Are...
341
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,577
Are ye an angel?
342
00:16:36,620 --> 00:16:38,414
Oh. Relax.
343
00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:40,332
You're in the hospital.
344
00:16:40,332 --> 00:16:42,960
- You've been shot in the head.
- Nay.
345
00:16:43,919 --> 00:16:45,963
The heart.
346
00:16:46,672 --> 00:16:48,966
Ya had some friends come here earlier,
347
00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:51,260
a couple o' married old men
and their caretaker.
348
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:56,265
They wanted to ask you about
the stunt guy on Project Ronkonkoma?
349
00:16:56,890 --> 00:17:00,019
Yes. Right.
No, I-I need to talk to 'em right away.
350
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,021
- I'll let them know you're up.
- Right away.
351
00:17:02,021 --> 00:17:04,106
Oh, also, um...
352
00:17:05,607 --> 00:17:08,569
would ya do me the honor of bein'
353
00:17:08,569 --> 00:17:10,654
Mrs. Glen Stubbins?
354
00:17:12,489 --> 00:17:14,491
Also, I'm Glen Stubbins.
355
00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:18,245
Oh. Yeah, I'll get your doctor.
356
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,329
- Okay.
- Yeah.
357
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:25,711
Can I-I get a room without the rats?
358
00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,425
{\an8}
359
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:34,011
Alright.
360
00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,972
Don't forget to take a deep breath
before they light you up.
361
00:17:36,972 --> 00:17:39,725
Last thing you wanna do is
inhale flames into your lungs.
362
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:42,644
And when the director yells "cut,"
you stop, drop,
363
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:45,898
and let 'em hose you down.
And then, you take a good 30 seconds
364
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,234
before you do anything else
in case you re-spark.
365
00:17:49,234 --> 00:17:50,694
You ready?
366
00:17:50,694 --> 00:17:52,654
Yeah, of course, you are.
367
00:17:52,654 --> 00:17:54,531
Now, go make my papa proud.
368
00:17:57,409 --> 00:18:00,412
Doing this for Sazz, doing this for Sazz.
369
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:05,876
How is Ron-Ron going to recognize me now?
370
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:09,004
That night in the Chinese restaurant,
my aesthetic was distinctively not
371
00:18:09,004 --> 00:18:10,923
life-size Sour Patch Kid.
372
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:14,218
And why do we have to wear spandex,
and Mabel only gets makeup?
373
00:18:14,218 --> 00:18:16,095
Well, because you guys are a bunch of...
374
00:18:16,095 --> 00:18:18,597
"Klongos," and I'm just a girl.
375
00:18:18,597 --> 00:18:21,725
Right, Klongos. I mean,
I'm sorry, but what is this movie?
376
00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:24,103
Are we witnessing the end
of Ron Howard's career?
377
00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:26,438
No, no, no.
What I learned about Ron over soup
378
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:29,733
is you've gotta just trust him.
I told him, I said,
379
00:18:29,733 --> 00:18:32,194
"Ron-Ron, you're the beautiful mind."
380
00:18:32,194 --> 00:18:34,571
And he loved that, and he just
plunked down the credit card
381
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:36,156
and paid for the whole soup.
382
00:18:36,156 --> 00:18:37,658
Oh, my God, guys.
383
00:18:37,658 --> 00:18:39,660
I have to get out of here
and get to the hospital.
384
00:18:39,660 --> 00:18:41,036
Glen Stubbins is awake.
385
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,038
Also, I'm gonna see if they can remove
386
00:18:43,038 --> 00:18:47,000
the part of my brain that stores
the image of you in spandex.
387
00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:50,129
Well...
388
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:52,172
Oh, yeah...
389
00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:55,092
Oh, by the way, I've been thinking
about your bachelor party,
390
00:18:55,092 --> 00:18:56,426
and I think I got a winner.
391
00:18:56,426 --> 00:18:58,762
Finally. Yes, let's hear it.
392
00:18:58,762 --> 00:19:01,431
I hope the spandex
and the balls inspired you.
393
00:19:01,431 --> 00:19:03,684
Okay, remember that
hot dog restaurant we went to?
394
00:19:03,684 --> 00:19:05,894
- Yeah.
- And, uh, there was a phone booth outside,
395
00:19:05,894 --> 00:19:09,356
but it wasn't really a phone booth,
it was a door to a speakeasy?
396
00:19:09,356 --> 00:19:11,400
I was thinking we could
do something like that.
397
00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,235
Get some dogs with my dawg!
398
00:19:14,862 --> 00:19:16,738
I feel like I've taken crazy pills.
399
00:19:17,114 --> 00:19:19,491
Do we remember W-A-N-S?!
400
00:19:19,491 --> 00:19:21,326
Whiskey, A-listers,
401
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:23,912
- naughty secret? Oh, you do remember?
- Naughty secret. Yeah.
402
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:27,583
'Cause I thought your plan lacked
my simple parameters due to forgetfulness.
403
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:31,211
But instead, the culprit
is willful negligence!
404
00:19:31,879 --> 00:19:33,922
Alright. Just forget it!
405
00:19:33,922 --> 00:19:35,966
- And you're not wearing this either!
- Ah!
406
00:19:35,966 --> 00:19:38,802
Background, you're up on set.
407
00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:45,058
Ah, you're back, sweetheart.
408
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:49,646
What? It's you?
409
00:19:49,646 --> 00:19:51,857
What are...
410
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:54,151
What you-- No.
411
00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:57,779
No, no. No, don't! No!
412
00:19:57,779 --> 00:20:00,866
Don't! Stop, no!
413
00:20:03,660 --> 00:20:05,495
Alright, everybody in?
414
00:20:05,495 --> 00:20:06,663
Let's go!
415
00:20:06,663 --> 00:20:09,291
Places!
416
00:20:11,627 --> 00:20:14,129
Ron-Ron? Are you there?
417
00:20:14,129 --> 00:20:15,422
It's me!
418
00:20:18,258 --> 00:20:20,010
Hey, you're not talking to Ron.
419
00:20:20,010 --> 00:20:22,346
Listen up, everybody. On my cue,
420
00:20:22,346 --> 00:20:23,972
you're gonna look up at the monster,
421
00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:26,099
you're gonna look scared,
422
00:20:26,099 --> 00:20:28,227
and you're gonna run off that way. Yeah?
423
00:20:28,227 --> 00:20:29,561
Great.
424
00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:32,689
I know our bold acting choice.
Follow my lead.
425
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,817
Background!
426
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:37,110
And... action!
427
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:41,448
Run! Run, fellow Klongos!
428
00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:44,368
I shall buy you time!
429
00:20:44,368 --> 00:20:46,495
Don't let my death be in vain!
430
00:20:46,745 --> 00:20:49,539
Monster, no!
What the hell's with him?
431
00:20:49,539 --> 00:20:52,167
No-- Charles, a little effort, please!
432
00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,753
Or is this gonna be
my bachelor party all over again?
433
00:20:55,504 --> 00:20:56,964
Oh?
434
00:20:56,964 --> 00:21:00,300
Your bachelor party?
Oh, you're right, yes. I should pitch in.
435
00:21:00,801 --> 00:21:01,885
How about a...
436
00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:04,846
a sunset cigar cruise
up the Gowanus Canal?
437
00:21:04,846 --> 00:21:07,975
Or maybe a dining and spa experience,
438
00:21:07,975 --> 00:21:10,602
where we get fish pedicures,
and afterwards,
439
00:21:10,602 --> 00:21:13,814
we eat the fish omakase-style?!
Oh, wait!
440
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:17,526
Ice luges poured by
professional ice lugers.
441
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,903
Is this getting good enough for you?
442
00:21:19,903 --> 00:21:23,573
Oh wait. Oh, maybe, a members-only
aerialist strip club!
443
00:21:23,573 --> 00:21:26,326
And an elephant!
But, not just any elephant!
444
00:21:26,326 --> 00:21:28,161
An A-list elephant.
445
00:21:28,161 --> 00:21:30,872
Babar, Dumbo, or maybe the viral one
446
00:21:30,872 --> 00:21:34,459
who sat on the zookeeper's head.
Because it really doesn't matter
447
00:21:34,459 --> 00:21:37,921
because no one is gonna show up!
448
00:21:37,921 --> 00:21:40,090
Because you!
449
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,801
Are insufferable.
450
00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:45,429
And... cut?
451
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:47,014
Who hired the idiots?
452
00:21:47,014 --> 00:21:48,890
Get 'em out and get
a picture for my ban list.
453
00:21:48,890 --> 00:21:51,059
The director has asked that you go home.
454
00:21:51,935 --> 00:21:52,978
Now.
455
00:21:54,021 --> 00:21:55,063
Sorry, Brazzos.
456
00:21:59,443 --> 00:22:02,321
Now, if you'd line up,
Ron Howard would like to say hi
457
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:05,324
and thank each of you for your work today
before we start rolling.
458
00:22:12,497 --> 00:22:13,540
Where is he?
459
00:22:14,958 --> 00:22:17,002
I'm so sorry.
460
00:22:17,002 --> 00:22:19,880
He's dead. My Glen.
W--
461
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:21,923
- What happened?
- I don't know!
462
00:22:21,923 --> 00:22:24,301
He seemed fine. He was making me laugh.
463
00:22:24,301 --> 00:22:27,637
I called his people to let them know
he was awake, did my rounds,
464
00:22:27,637 --> 00:22:29,806
and when I returned, he...
465
00:22:29,806 --> 00:22:32,225
[on TV] Breaking news.
Nicky "The Neck" Caccimelio,
466
00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:34,936
the Dry Cleaning King of Brooklyn,
has been reported missing.
467
00:22:34,936 --> 00:22:37,272
Though he has ties to
the Caputo crime family,
468
00:22:37,272 --> 00:22:40,525
officials say they do not
suspect foul play at this time.
469
00:22:40,525 --> 00:22:44,196
Uh, who else did you call
and tell that Glen was awake?
470
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:47,157
Just you and his emergency contact.
471
00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:50,577
- Sazz Pataki.
- You called Sazz?
472
00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:52,537
Did a man answer?
473
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,792
- Did I do somethin' wrong?
- Uh...
474
00:23:03,256 --> 00:23:05,217
Rolling.
And action!
475
00:23:14,726 --> 00:23:16,269
Get out here, you rat!
476
00:23:19,606 --> 00:23:21,066
On the ground!
477
00:23:27,197 --> 00:23:29,032
This is for Don Antonio.
478
00:23:33,578 --> 00:23:34,871
Good, good.
479
00:23:42,337 --> 00:23:44,297
Okay, cut! Fire out!
480
00:23:44,297 --> 00:23:46,591
Yes! Yes! Yes!
481
00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:47,926
Clear!
482
00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:49,177
Told you. Yes, yes, yes, yes!
483
00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:51,680
I told you. I told you we'd do it in one!
484
00:23:54,766 --> 00:23:58,186
Geez whiz!
485
00:23:58,186 --> 00:24:02,065
Oh! Oh no!
486
00:24:05,861 --> 00:24:07,737
Go ahead and strike that!
487
00:24:11,616 --> 00:24:13,243
You need a hand?
No, no.
488
00:24:13,243 --> 00:24:15,662
- I don't need your help.
- 'Cause I can if...
489
00:24:15,662 --> 00:24:18,165
Oh no, no, I've already asked too much.
490
00:24:18,165 --> 00:24:20,750
I don't wanna be "insufferable."
491
00:24:33,263 --> 00:24:35,390
You're my emergency contact.
492
00:24:37,434 --> 00:24:38,435
What?
493
00:24:38,435 --> 00:24:41,062
Well, when I fill out forms,
I put your name.
494
00:24:41,062 --> 00:24:44,483
And I know you used to put mine,
but now it's Loretta's.
495
00:24:44,483 --> 00:24:46,234
You know,
496
00:24:46,234 --> 00:24:49,946
I always knew Mabel would one day
spread her wings and leave, but...
497
00:24:51,114 --> 00:24:54,451
you and me, I thought we'd,
you know, grow old... er,
498
00:24:55,327 --> 00:24:58,538
and die together.
Uh...
499
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:00,874
And don't get me wrong,
500
00:25:00,874 --> 00:25:03,418
I like Loretta. I really like Loretta.
501
00:25:03,418 --> 00:25:06,296
But now, I'm kinda the awkward guy,
502
00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:09,758
third-wheeling it on your dates.
503
00:25:09,758 --> 00:25:13,470
You know, saying,
"Hey, let's split a dessert three ways."
504
00:25:14,221 --> 00:25:15,263
You know,
505
00:25:16,473 --> 00:25:19,893
I never wanted, really,
to throw you a bachelor party.
506
00:25:21,269 --> 00:25:23,772
I just wanted to celebrate our friendship.
507
00:25:35,033 --> 00:25:38,036
Y-You know, I'm hungry,
if you wanted to grab a bite to eat.
508
00:25:39,162 --> 00:25:41,331
- We could go to that Chinese place.
- Yeah.
509
00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:44,209
- Can you give me a hand? Yeah.
- Yeah, I can do that.
510
00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:56,513
You know we're gonna be
friends till the end.
511
00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:58,723
Oh God.
512
00:25:58,723 --> 00:26:01,768
I'm fine.
You don't have to say anything nice to me.
513
00:26:01,768 --> 00:26:03,853
Especially not while making eye contact.
514
00:26:03,853 --> 00:26:06,690
What if we went behind our menus?
515
00:26:06,690 --> 00:26:09,276
That-That-That c--
That could work, yeah.
516
00:26:10,443 --> 00:26:12,821
I didn't have a bachelor party
517
00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:14,614
first time I got married,
518
00:26:14,614 --> 00:26:16,950
and I didn't have a best man.
519
00:26:16,950 --> 00:26:20,787
And it's okay if I don't have
a bachelor party this time, too.
520
00:26:20,787 --> 00:26:23,748
But I do want you to be my best man.
521
00:26:24,624 --> 00:26:25,959
Hmm.
522
00:26:25,959 --> 00:26:27,377
Noodles look good.
523
00:26:27,377 --> 00:26:29,129
And if it would make you feel better,
524
00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:32,215
you can be my Life Alert contact
in case I fall.
525
00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:35,927
And we can get colonoscopies together.
526
00:26:35,927 --> 00:26:38,388
Yeah, yeah. Uh,
527
00:26:38,388 --> 00:26:40,056
maybe the dumplings?
528
00:26:40,056 --> 00:26:41,808
Can I get you something to drink?
529
00:26:41,808 --> 00:26:44,477
- Oh, uh, two Johnnie Walkers.
- Of course.
530
00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:53,820
Where are you going?
531
00:26:53,820 --> 00:26:55,238
W-A-N-S.
532
00:26:55,238 --> 00:26:57,657
W-A-N-S?
Here you are.
533
00:27:00,243 --> 00:27:01,995
Ah, the whiskey.
534
00:27:01,995 --> 00:27:03,788
And...
535
00:27:03,788 --> 00:27:06,374
our naughty secret.
536
00:27:24,934 --> 00:27:26,686
Very good.
537
00:27:27,270 --> 00:27:28,813
I know this is...
538
00:27:28,813 --> 00:27:31,274
not the bachelor party
you dreamed of, but...
539
00:27:32,233 --> 00:27:33,610
still...
540
00:27:33,610 --> 00:27:35,153
Charles, it's perfect.
541
00:27:37,781 --> 00:27:40,283
Although, we are missing the A-lister.
Just saying...
542
00:27:43,119 --> 00:27:45,121
You?
543
00:27:46,164 --> 00:27:48,750
Oh.
Okay, Charles. Uh...
544
00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:50,210
let me hide behind my menu
545
00:27:50,210 --> 00:27:52,796
until the awkwardness
of this moment clears.
546
00:27:56,549 --> 00:28:00,011
Hi. I don't have a reservation,
but, uh, you know, table for one.
547
00:28:00,512 --> 00:28:02,514
You gotta be kidding me.
548
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:03,848
What?
549
00:28:05,642 --> 00:28:08,645
The A-lister! You did it!
550
00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:10,563
Oh, my God!
551
00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:13,274
It's you! Ollie!
552
00:28:13,274 --> 00:28:14,859
- It's Ron-Ron!
- Ron-Ron!
553
00:28:19,072 --> 00:28:23,034
I loved it in Mayberry
when you'd go down by the fishin' hole!
554
00:28:23,993 --> 00:28:27,372
Don't ever mention the fishin' hole.
555
00:28:28,623 --> 00:28:31,334
- Okay, let it go. Come on. Shake it off.
- Don't.
556
00:28:38,049 --> 00:28:39,634
Oh, Mabel, thank God!
557
00:28:39,634 --> 00:28:41,469
Bev said you agreed to
help with the new pages.
558
00:28:41,469 --> 00:28:44,681
Fuck. Look, Marshall,
I'm not in the mood for this right now.
559
00:28:44,681 --> 00:28:48,059
Please, i-it'll be quick.
D-Do you think Mabel would say,
560
00:28:48,059 --> 00:28:50,437
"The name's Mora, Mabel Mora."
561
00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:53,398
Or, "I'm Mabel Fucking Mora!"
562
00:28:53,398 --> 00:28:54,482
I'm thinking number two.
563
00:28:54,482 --> 00:28:57,402
I wouldn't say either one of those.
Oh God.
564
00:28:57,402 --> 00:28:59,612
It-It's-It's awful. I-I'm awful.
565
00:29:00,238 --> 00:29:03,116
Please. Bev is threatening to fire me
if I don't get these right.
566
00:29:03,116 --> 00:29:05,410
I-I'll do anything. I-I'm stuck. I just...
567
00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,120
I can't capture your voice.
568
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:10,248
Yeah, well, I don't think
my voice needs to be captured.
569
00:29:10,248 --> 00:29:12,083
Another person is dead,
570
00:29:12,083 --> 00:29:14,419
and had I solved the case
571
00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,464
or figured out the stuntman angle sooner,
572
00:29:17,464 --> 00:29:20,717
he'd still be alive.
But, he's not.
573
00:29:20,717 --> 00:29:23,136
Wow. That...
574
00:29:23,887 --> 00:29:25,972
is some Mabel dialogue.
575
00:29:26,681 --> 00:29:28,933
D-Do you mind if I just-- I'm gonna--
576
00:29:33,188 --> 00:29:34,898
So then, Hanks leans over to me,
577
00:29:34,898 --> 00:29:36,524
and he says,
578
00:29:36,524 --> 00:29:39,110
"I don't actually like ranch dressing."
579
00:29:39,110 --> 00:29:40,987
Oh! That's good.
580
00:29:40,987 --> 00:29:43,031
Hey, uh, Ron.
Uh, speaking of funny stories,
581
00:29:43,031 --> 00:29:46,451
we heard there was quite the snafu
on Project Ronkonkoma.
582
00:29:46,451 --> 00:29:49,037
Gonna need another whiskey for that one.
583
00:29:49,913 --> 00:29:53,249
We never even finished it.
I remember everything about it though.
584
00:29:56,294 --> 00:29:58,213
You know,
585
00:29:59,172 --> 00:30:01,132
it's always tense on the sets,
586
00:30:01,132 --> 00:30:03,468
days when there's gonna be a big stunt,
587
00:30:03,468 --> 00:30:06,221
and doubly so when fire is involved.
588
00:30:06,346 --> 00:30:08,473
Set and action!
589
00:30:08,473 --> 00:30:10,016
But, everything went smooth.
590
00:30:10,016 --> 00:30:12,310
The van screeched to a halt.
591
00:30:12,310 --> 00:30:16,022
A stuntman was thrown out onto the ground,
592
00:30:16,022 --> 00:30:19,943
doused with gasoline, lit on fire.
It was exactly right.
593
00:30:19,943 --> 00:30:21,027
Bitchin'!
594
00:30:21,027 --> 00:30:22,612
So, I yelled "cut."
595
00:30:22,612 --> 00:30:24,697
Okay, cut! Fire out!
596
00:30:24,697 --> 00:30:26,950
They put the guy out.
597
00:30:26,950 --> 00:30:28,952
Okay, uh, let's go to the Steadicam.
598
00:30:28,952 --> 00:30:33,206
Except the guy didn't wait
to make sure he was completely out.
599
00:30:33,206 --> 00:30:35,917
Next thing I know, he's walking toward me.
600
00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:37,001
Hey, great job.
601
00:30:37,001 --> 00:30:39,462
Saying he had something
he wanted to show me.
602
00:30:39,462 --> 00:30:42,882
- And-and suddenly, he reignites!
-
603
00:30:42,882 --> 00:30:45,802
Oh! Ah!
604
00:30:45,802 --> 00:30:47,554
Geez whiz!
605
00:30:48,054 --> 00:30:50,139
Burned my eyebrows off!
606
00:30:53,017 --> 00:30:55,645
Okay, I know that I say fuck a lot,
607
00:30:55,645 --> 00:30:59,107
but not that fucking much.
608
00:31:03,486 --> 00:31:04,988
Yeah, maybe you're right.
609
00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:07,198
I should have more faith in myself.
610
00:31:07,198 --> 00:31:08,783
I mean, it worked for you.
611
00:31:08,783 --> 00:31:10,410
You want a beer?
Hit me.
612
00:31:10,410 --> 00:31:14,414
- You finally got one of your scripts made.
- That's right. I did.
613
00:31:16,291 --> 00:31:19,002
What is...?
614
00:31:21,462 --> 00:31:23,882
- Ron, Ron, Ron-Ron...
- Ron-Ron.
615
00:31:23,882 --> 00:31:27,051
...uh, we need to find that stuntman.
616
00:31:27,051 --> 00:31:29,512
Well, if you do,
get my shoes back for me, will ya?
617
00:31:29,512 --> 00:31:31,723
He stole 'em right outta my trailer.
618
00:31:31,723 --> 00:31:34,809
I had to buy another pair.
I can't work without these.
619
00:31:34,809 --> 00:31:37,395
They've got extra cushioning in the heels.
620
00:31:39,480 --> 00:31:41,983
- Same as on the radiator.
- That's our guy.
621
00:31:42,901 --> 00:31:44,402
D-Do you remember his name?
622
00:31:44,402 --> 00:31:45,987
Oh, I'll never forget him.
623
00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:47,363
Rex Bailey.
624
00:31:48,114 --> 00:31:50,325
I have a photo of him, if that helps.
625
00:31:50,325 --> 00:31:54,203
I always keep, uh, pictures of people
I ban from my sets.
626
00:31:54,203 --> 00:31:55,705
Uh...
627
00:31:56,289 --> 00:31:58,207
Oh, okay, here he is.
628
00:32:00,793 --> 00:32:02,253
Huh?
629
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:05,256
That kinda looks like...
630
00:32:05,256 --> 00:32:07,425
Yeah, but imagine with a beard.
631
00:32:07,425 --> 00:32:09,844
And add some glasses.
632
00:32:09,844 --> 00:32:11,763
And a dark bowl cut!
633
00:32:16,267 --> 00:32:18,019
Oh, my God.
634
00:32:20,063 --> 00:32:21,147
Whoa!
635
00:32:22,982 --> 00:32:25,193
That was some flip!
636
00:32:25,193 --> 00:32:27,320
You ever stunted before?
637
00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:29,197
I'm trying to be a writer,
638
00:32:29,197 --> 00:32:32,033
but I wouldn't say no to getting on set.
639
00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:35,912
Your first professional fire stunt.
Ah! Ready?
640
00:32:36,245 --> 00:32:37,872
Fire out!
641
00:32:37,872 --> 00:32:39,832
Okay, let's go to the Steadicam,
and I know I said...
642
00:32:39,832 --> 00:32:41,501
Mr. Howard? Mr. Howard!
643
00:32:41,501 --> 00:32:42,961
Hey, great job.
644
00:32:42,961 --> 00:32:44,462
Would you read my screenplay?
645
00:32:45,296 --> 00:32:47,173
Ah, when'd you grow the beard, lassie?
646
00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:51,135
What? It's you?
647
00:32:51,135 --> 00:32:52,887
What are...
648
00:33:20,623 --> 00:33:22,667
- Marshall?
- Hm?
649
00:33:23,084 --> 00:33:26,754
Why does this script say
it was written by Sazz Pataki?