1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:22,744 --> 00:02:25,479 Good afternoon, my darling sons of bitches! 4 00:02:26,313 --> 00:02:27,849 Let me introduce myself. 5 00:02:27,882 --> 00:02:29,817 My name is Brandon 6 00:02:29,851 --> 00:02:31,552 and I'll be trying to entertain you 7 00:02:31,586 --> 00:02:33,888 over the next hour. 8 00:02:33,921 --> 00:02:36,223 You've probably never heard of me 9 00:02:36,256 --> 00:02:38,726 that wouldn't be a surprise because I'm nobody. 10 00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:42,897 They say time flies when you're having fun 11 00:02:42,930 --> 00:02:45,198 so this would seem like forever 12 00:02:45,232 --> 00:02:46,466 because my jokes suck. 13 00:02:47,669 --> 00:02:49,403 But please stay until the end 14 00:02:49,436 --> 00:02:51,405 we have so much to talk about 15 00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:52,874 and I have a surprise for you. 16 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:58,211 Let me tell you a story about how I came to be here. 17 00:02:59,580 --> 00:03:02,282 Once upon a time I was married to a beautiful woman 18 00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:04,284 named Phillipa. 19 00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:06,821 She was everything you could hope for in a woman 20 00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,656 she was adorable 21 00:03:08,690 --> 00:03:10,525 everybody loved her. 22 00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,694 All our friends however wondered 23 00:03:12,727 --> 00:03:14,896 what is she doing with an jerk like me? 24 00:03:16,931 --> 00:03:18,465 And they were right. 25 00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:22,737 I was a shy, boring guy obsessed with my work 26 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:26,273 stuck in my ways, who never had anything interesting to say. 27 00:03:27,642 --> 00:03:29,644 Are there any accountants out there? 28 00:03:31,344 --> 00:03:34,649 We really are the most boring mother fuckers you know. 29 00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:38,720 Did you hear the story about the woman that went to the doctor 30 00:03:38,753 --> 00:03:39,721 for a check-up? 31 00:03:41,455 --> 00:03:44,391 The doctor told her she only had six months left to live. 32 00:03:45,626 --> 00:03:47,327 She's crying, she's desperate, 33 00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:50,965 she said: Doctor there must be something I could do. 34 00:03:50,998 --> 00:03:53,601 "Sure," said the doctor, "You could marry an accountant." 35 00:03:54,334 --> 00:03:55,570 "What? 36 00:03:55,603 --> 00:03:57,304 Would it make me live longer?" 37 00:03:57,337 --> 00:03:58,773 "No," said the doctor 38 00:03:58,806 --> 00:04:00,508 "But he will make your last six months here 39 00:04:00,541 --> 00:04:02,275 seem like an eternity." 40 00:04:06,914 --> 00:04:10,417 So one day Phillipa woke up and thought to herself, 41 00:04:10,450 --> 00:04:11,719 They're right. 42 00:04:11,753 --> 00:04:14,321 I am beautiful and adorable 43 00:04:14,354 --> 00:04:16,924 and I do shine like a star on a cloudless night. 44 00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,459 What am I doing with this jerk? 45 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:23,430 So she dropped me like a hot tamale 46 00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:25,666 and this tamale fell far. 47 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:28,603 I'd never been with another woman besides Phillipa 48 00:04:28,636 --> 00:04:30,337 and when she left me, 49 00:04:30,370 --> 00:04:33,440 I was alone, and hopeless. 50 00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:36,577 And then one day 51 00:04:36,611 --> 00:04:40,313 I found a flyer on the ground that said, "Stand up!" 52 00:04:41,616 --> 00:04:43,618 And here I stand. 53 00:04:43,651 --> 00:04:46,020 Don't I kill as a comedian? 54 00:04:46,053 --> 00:04:48,455 Are you having a good time? 55 00:04:50,490 --> 00:04:53,761 Let me tell you a story about George C. Parker. 56 00:04:53,795 --> 00:04:54,829 Have you heard of him? 57 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,633 He was a legendary con man in New York City. 58 00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,869 Who could sell anything to anyone. 59 00:05:01,903 --> 00:05:04,005 The turn of the 20th century 60 00:05:04,038 --> 00:05:06,874 he became infamous for selling rich tourists 61 00:05:06,908 --> 00:05:08,743 the Brooklyn bridge. 62 00:05:08,776 --> 00:05:11,913 They say he even sold one Russian billionaire 63 00:05:11,946 --> 00:05:13,380 the Statue of Liberty. 64 00:05:14,782 --> 00:05:19,020 Well right now I feel like George C. fucking Parker, 65 00:05:20,087 --> 00:05:22,557 so listen very carefully 66 00:05:23,624 --> 00:05:27,394 because I have tremendous, fabulous, 67 00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:31,398 wonderful stories to sell you. 68 00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:38,566 How was that? 69 00:06:40,668 --> 00:06:42,703 Is that like too much gurgling or? 70 00:06:44,005 --> 00:06:45,506 Uh no, no, no. 71 00:06:45,539 --> 00:06:46,073 It was fine. 72 00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:55,650 Oh hey any chance I could get my SAG card after this? 73 00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:57,218 Yeah, and I'll be getting my acceptance letter 74 00:06:57,251 --> 00:06:58,986 to the Director's Guild any day now. 75 00:07:02,623 --> 00:07:04,125 Hey look on the bright side. 76 00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:06,661 You get to work with the world-famous Father Lance. 77 00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,461 You'll be saved from the forces of darkness in front 78 00:07:08,495 --> 00:07:09,664 of millions of viewers! 79 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,135 Where do you want the rest of these cables? 80 00:07:14,168 --> 00:07:16,537 They're fine where they are just make sure you're wired up 81 00:07:16,570 --> 00:07:18,973 and don't, forget to mic up our starlet here. 82 00:07:27,949 --> 00:07:29,449 Do you want me to moan more? 83 00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:32,920 I can, like no problem. 84 00:07:32,954 --> 00:07:34,487 You're doing fine, Hailey. 85 00:07:34,522 --> 00:07:35,656 Okay. 86 00:07:35,690 --> 00:07:37,258 It's Heather, but... 87 00:07:45,099 --> 00:07:47,535 I think keep it classy, okay? 88 00:07:47,568 --> 00:07:49,503 Let's go to a club. 89 00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:52,006 And I will only go if I have table service. 90 00:07:53,074 --> 00:07:55,076 Hey, freshy get ready. 91 00:07:55,109 --> 00:07:56,610 We're hitting Lambda in 30. 92 00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,512 You guys go without me. 93 00:07:58,546 --> 00:07:59,647 I'll meet you there. 94 00:07:59,680 --> 00:08:01,215 You're gonna miss pre-game! 95 00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,216 Children. 96 00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:05,186 What is she even watching? 97 00:08:05,219 --> 00:08:06,520 Some weird shit. 98 00:08:06,554 --> 00:08:07,487 Drink up! 99 00:08:11,200 --> 00:08:13,202 What reality garbage are you watching now? 100 00:08:14,286 --> 00:08:15,787 "The Cleansing Hour". 101 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,415 You've never heard of "Father Lance"?! 102 00:08:18,457 --> 00:08:20,000 Every week, an incredible deliverance! 103 00:08:21,543 --> 00:08:23,879 Is that what they call special effects these days? 104 00:08:24,671 --> 00:08:25,464 Here. 105 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:27,799 You're gonna like this. 106 00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,176 I like "The Mindy Project". 107 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,638 Don't you want to witness divine intervention? 108 00:08:44,692 --> 00:08:45,960 Bryce. 109 00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:47,194 Want me to take it away? 110 00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:49,130 But Dad, "The Cleansing Hour" is almost on. 111 00:08:49,163 --> 00:08:50,297 First you finish your dinner. 112 00:08:51,265 --> 00:08:52,600 Vegetables too Come on. 113 00:09:01,042 --> 00:09:02,309 God damn it, Lance. 114 00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:09,183 Somebody call for an exorcist? 115 00:09:10,851 --> 00:09:12,153 Well hey sugar. 116 00:09:12,186 --> 00:09:14,021 Where the hell you been, man? We're live in four. 117 00:09:14,055 --> 00:09:15,089 I was 118 00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:16,690 counseling? 119 00:09:16,724 --> 00:09:17,792 Is that fucking lipstick? 120 00:09:19,894 --> 00:09:21,996 Well you know they can't resist a man in uniform. 121 00:09:22,029 --> 00:09:23,931 Tell me again why I put up with your shit. 122 00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,966 I'll give you five million reasons and climbing. 123 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,069 Yeah, and if one of those reasons happens to snap a pic 124 00:09:28,102 --> 00:09:30,671 of of Father Lance with his hand down some IHOP waitress's skirt 125 00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:31,205 we're done! 126 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,139 It's over! 127 00:09:32,173 --> 00:09:33,607 Drew that's offensive. 128 00:09:34,208 --> 00:09:35,142 I'm a Denny's man. 129 00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:36,744 What? 130 00:09:36,777 --> 00:09:37,378 Would you watch it? 131 00:09:37,411 --> 00:09:38,913 That's our lifeline! 132 00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,915 What is your deal today? 133 00:09:40,948 --> 00:09:42,883 I think he's just trying to say you should show more respect 134 00:09:42,917 --> 00:09:43,818 for technology. 135 00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:47,922 Who the fuck's that guy? 136 00:09:48,689 --> 00:09:49,190 Braden. 137 00:09:50,124 --> 00:09:51,258 Sound. 138 00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:53,194 What happened to Chris? 139 00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:56,297 He's under the weather. Asked me to fill in. 140 00:09:56,330 --> 00:09:58,666 Okay well just don't get your boom in my shot. 141 00:09:58,699 --> 00:10:00,301 And make sure you sign an NDA form. 142 00:10:00,334 --> 00:10:01,702 Wow! 143 00:10:01,735 --> 00:10:02,970 Forgive me, Lord. 144 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,839 I have sinned it's been 90 seconds 145 00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:06,040 I haven't introduced myself. 146 00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:06,907 I'm Lance. 147 00:10:06,941 --> 00:10:07,641 Heather. 148 00:10:08,776 --> 00:10:09,643 Oh. 149 00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:11,378 Uh, nice to meet you! 150 00:10:11,412 --> 00:10:12,880 Yeah, well, Heather it's a beautiful name. 151 00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,115 He's gonna shove these up your nose. 152 00:10:15,716 --> 00:10:17,818 I'm gonna place these in your nose, they'll dissolve 153 00:10:17,852 --> 00:10:19,820 after five minutes instant nosebleed. 154 00:10:19,854 --> 00:10:20,754 Drew will direct you. 155 00:10:22,089 --> 00:10:23,257 Thank you. 156 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:24,658 I'm just gonna move your hair a second 157 00:10:24,692 --> 00:10:25,392 and put this in your ear. 158 00:10:25,426 --> 00:10:26,360 Okay. 159 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:31,799 Ooh! 160 00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:32,867 Sorry! 161 00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,101 That's always the most awkward part. 162 00:10:34,135 --> 00:10:35,002 No problem. 163 00:10:38,906 --> 00:10:40,341 This looks legit! 164 00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:41,142 Where'd it come from? 165 00:10:41,175 --> 00:10:42,810 Found it at a garage sale. 166 00:10:42,843 --> 00:10:45,045 30 seconds take your mark, Padre. 167 00:10:45,079 --> 00:10:46,714 All right, guys! 168 00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:49,083 Let's make it a quick one I got a date with destiny tonight. 169 00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:50,217 Probably not her real name. 170 00:10:50,251 --> 00:10:51,452 Ah, Jesus! 171 00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,420 Drew don't take the Lord's name in vain. 172 00:10:53,454 --> 00:10:54,955 Okay, teen seconds. You ready, Heather? 173 00:10:57,992 --> 00:10:59,160 Okay in three 174 00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:01,061 two 175 00:11:01,095 --> 00:11:01,795 one. 176 00:11:06,934 --> 00:11:09,270 I cast you out in the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ! 177 00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:14,208 You are at the mercy of the Creator! 178 00:11:24,285 --> 00:11:26,453 Welcome to "The Cleansing Hour". 179 00:11:26,487 --> 00:11:29,223 I am Father Lance, your guide through these troubling times. 180 00:11:29,890 --> 00:11:32,393 Tonight, we bring you Sabrina. 181 00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,230 An innocent soul, tortured 182 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:37,932 by the only family she'd ever known. 183 00:11:38,633 --> 00:11:41,769 Molested by her father, beaten by her mother 184 00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:44,405 Sabrina sought escape from her unimaginable pain, 185 00:11:44,438 --> 00:11:46,907 in the form of drugs, alcohol 186 00:11:46,941 --> 00:11:49,877 and ultimately, prostitution. 187 00:11:49,910 --> 00:11:52,313 'Cause he's rich Well, not just 'cause he's rich! 188 00:11:54,848 --> 00:11:57,785 Well anyway, so it's Josh or Kyle. 189 00:11:57,818 --> 00:12:00,120 The enemy of God exploited her frailty, 190 00:12:00,154 --> 00:12:03,090 and took control of her body, but tonight 191 00:12:03,123 --> 00:12:06,427 by the grace of God with my help and your prayers. 192 00:12:07,061 --> 00:12:10,231 Sabrina will be rid of this evil! 193 00:12:12,366 --> 00:12:13,467 Okay, that's great, Heather! 194 00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:15,436 Keep your head down, whatever they can't see 195 00:12:15,469 --> 00:12:16,370 will terrify them. 196 00:12:17,404 --> 00:12:21,408 In nomine Patris et Filium et Spiritum Sanctum. 197 00:12:23,077 --> 00:12:24,546 All right, great Heather, now try and bite him. 198 00:12:27,582 --> 00:12:31,018 Sabrina is exhibiting incredible strength and aggression. 199 00:12:31,051 --> 00:12:33,187 This could be a stage four possession. 200 00:12:35,489 --> 00:12:38,025 I command you, unclean spirit 201 00:12:38,058 --> 00:12:40,828 by the mysteries of the incarnation, 202 00:12:40,861 --> 00:12:42,463 hatched in the resurrection 203 00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:45,165 and the ascension of our Lord Jesus Christ 204 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:47,801 that you tell me your name and obey me to the letter! 205 00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:49,870 Speak your name, demon! 206 00:12:50,838 --> 00:12:52,507 Okay, Heather 207 00:12:52,540 --> 00:12:55,809 your demon name is 208 00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,144 Slubgob. 209 00:12:57,177 --> 00:12:59,213 Repeat: Slubgob. 210 00:13:02,517 --> 00:13:03,817 Your name, demon. 211 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:05,520 Speak! 212 00:13:09,356 --> 00:13:11,959 Damn, Heather, very nice! 213 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:15,563 Tell me your name, in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ! 214 00:13:22,136 --> 00:13:24,539 We are Thoth. 215 00:13:24,572 --> 00:13:27,441 Collector of fractured souls! 216 00:13:27,474 --> 00:13:31,011 Soon we'll be thousands in number. 217 00:13:31,045 --> 00:13:34,014 Limitless in strength! 218 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:41,121 Just go with it, she said her name was Thoth. 219 00:13:41,155 --> 00:13:43,023 Uh, Heather I appreciate your enthusiasm, 220 00:13:43,057 --> 00:13:44,224 but please stick to the script. 221 00:13:47,294 --> 00:13:49,930 Our Father, who art in heaven. 222 00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:51,533 Hallowed be thy name, thy kingdom come. 223 00:13:51,566 --> 00:13:53,100 What on Earth are you two watching? 224 00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,588 Are you seeing this? 225 00:14:01,342 --> 00:14:02,009 Thoth. 226 00:14:03,243 --> 00:14:06,347 Abhor and slime of Hell, servant of Satan. 227 00:14:07,381 --> 00:14:09,950 See the cross of the Lord Jesus 228 00:14:09,983 --> 00:14:11,285 and submit 229 00:14:11,318 --> 00:14:13,521 to the authority of the Almighty! 230 00:14:14,589 --> 00:14:15,557 Fight Sabrina! 231 00:14:16,323 --> 00:14:17,124 Fight! 232 00:14:17,592 --> 00:14:18,359 Do not give in! 233 00:14:18,392 --> 00:14:19,159 Fight! 234 00:14:30,505 --> 00:14:31,606 That wasn't me. 235 00:14:34,408 --> 00:14:35,510 Must've slipped. 236 00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,546 Fuck you, deceiver! 237 00:14:39,213 --> 00:14:41,549 Fuck you for all of the masses! 238 00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:44,552 You will take the world and the bounty it provides. 239 00:14:44,586 --> 00:14:47,421 You're nothing but a pawn in the eyes of the Great One! 240 00:14:47,454 --> 00:14:48,222 Silence! 241 00:14:49,089 --> 00:14:50,424 Silence, demon! 242 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:53,595 I cast you out in the name of our Lord, Jesus Christ! 243 00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:55,663 Be gone and depart from Sabrina, 244 00:14:55,697 --> 00:14:58,132 who is but an innocent creature of God! 245 00:14:59,400 --> 00:15:02,102 For it is He who commands you. 246 00:15:02,136 --> 00:15:04,371 He who flung you from the heights of Heaven 247 00:15:04,405 --> 00:15:06,340 to the depths of Hell! 248 00:15:06,373 --> 00:15:07,207 What the fuck? 249 00:15:11,445 --> 00:15:12,179 Is that you? 250 00:15:18,185 --> 00:15:20,588 Hearken therefore and tremble in fear. 251 00:15:22,156 --> 00:15:25,727 For you are at the mercy of the creator of all things! 252 00:15:26,393 --> 00:15:28,630 Submit and depart from us! 253 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,106 Holy shit! 254 00:15:40,007 --> 00:15:40,508 Heather? 255 00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,383 We've got a problem, something's wrong Heather? 256 00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,050 Heather! 257 00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:51,753 I don't think she's acting! 258 00:15:53,053 --> 00:15:54,054 I got to end transmission! 259 00:15:54,589 --> 00:15:56,123 Don't you dare! 260 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,024 Look at the numbers! 261 00:15:57,792 --> 00:15:59,293 Help me, Father Lance! 262 00:15:59,326 --> 00:16:00,562 Please! 263 00:16:01,696 --> 00:16:03,096 We've got to fix this! 264 00:16:04,599 --> 00:16:06,467 Don't break the fourth one! 265 00:16:06,500 --> 00:16:08,368 13 million people are gonna watch this girl die. 266 00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:09,436 Who do you think they're gonna blame? 267 00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,506 Help me, Father Lance. 268 00:16:13,808 --> 00:16:15,075 Give me the book! 269 00:16:15,610 --> 00:16:17,211 I'm the exorcist, right? 270 00:16:19,781 --> 00:16:20,582 Read it out loud. 271 00:16:20,615 --> 00:16:21,381 Yeah. 272 00:16:22,316 --> 00:16:24,184 Help me, Father Lance! 273 00:16:40,835 --> 00:16:41,636 Repel 274 00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,242 Repel, O Lord the devil's power. 275 00:16:50,612 --> 00:16:52,479 Break asunder his snares and traps 276 00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:57,451 Put the unholy tempter to flight 277 00:16:59,754 --> 00:17:01,656 I cast you out, demon! 278 00:17:02,657 --> 00:17:04,692 Be gone, be gone, be gone! 279 00:17:04,726 --> 00:17:07,729 Depart from us in the name of Jesus Christ! 280 00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,031 Be gone! 281 00:17:28,883 --> 00:17:29,851 Sabrina? 282 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:34,221 Are you with us? 283 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:46,734 Sabrina? 284 00:17:48,703 --> 00:17:50,203 Sabrina, are you with us? 285 00:17:58,546 --> 00:18:00,180 S-Sabrina? 286 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:01,783 Sabrina, are you... 287 00:18:01,816 --> 00:18:03,317 are you with us? 288 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,260 Are you with us? 289 00:18:20,702 --> 00:18:22,469 Get her off me! 290 00:18:28,208 --> 00:18:28,643 Drew! 291 00:18:28,676 --> 00:18:29,844 Help! 292 00:18:29,877 --> 00:18:30,745 I'll get her legs! 293 00:18:30,778 --> 00:18:31,546 I'll get her legs! 294 00:18:32,614 --> 00:18:33,615 What the fuck? 295 00:18:35,415 --> 00:18:36,350 Got her legs! 296 00:18:36,383 --> 00:18:37,085 I got her legs! 297 00:18:37,117 --> 00:18:38,251 What the fuck? 298 00:19:05,412 --> 00:19:06,179 What happened? 299 00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:08,448 Did I do a good job? 300 00:19:10,985 --> 00:19:12,219 You did good, Heather. 301 00:19:13,353 --> 00:19:14,622 You did good. 302 00:19:14,656 --> 00:19:15,590 I did it. 303 00:19:16,691 --> 00:19:17,825 I fucking did it! 304 00:19:36,744 --> 00:19:38,378 We have to take a selfie before we go! 305 00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:06,473 Bitch! 306 00:20:06,507 --> 00:20:07,608 I am not. 307 00:20:21,321 --> 00:20:24,291 So God created man in his image. 308 00:20:24,792 --> 00:20:25,927 And then 309 00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:26,894 he created women. 310 00:20:27,427 --> 00:20:29,764 And he said unto them 311 00:20:29,797 --> 00:20:32,934 fruitful and multiply 312 00:20:32,967 --> 00:20:34,902 and populate the Earth 313 00:20:34,936 --> 00:20:35,870 and subdue it. 314 00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:38,906 And so we did. 315 00:20:38,940 --> 00:20:40,842 We fucked like rabbits. 316 00:20:40,875 --> 00:20:42,543 Populated the planet. 317 00:20:42,577 --> 00:20:43,778 And fucked it all up! 318 00:20:46,714 --> 00:20:48,816 Out of the mouths of babes 319 00:20:48,850 --> 00:20:49,751 and The Bible. 320 00:20:51,451 --> 00:20:52,352 Words hurt huh? 321 00:20:54,622 --> 00:20:56,824 Man's words hurt even more, because they're filled 322 00:20:56,858 --> 00:21:00,360 with nothing more than lies and bad intentions. 323 00:21:02,830 --> 00:21:06,834 Why don't you just give up, and let the demon into your body? 324 00:21:09,971 --> 00:21:11,338 And you, demon! 325 00:21:12,573 --> 00:21:13,674 Why do you hesitate to enter this woman? 326 00:21:14,675 --> 00:21:16,309 She's not as bad as the others. 327 00:21:17,845 --> 00:21:21,448 Jesus, being an exorcist is really tough! 328 00:21:21,481 --> 00:21:23,584 I mean a real nightmare. 329 00:21:24,685 --> 00:21:26,453 We used to have to convince the demon 330 00:21:26,486 --> 00:21:27,487 out of the body. 331 00:21:28,523 --> 00:21:30,625 But now we are so fucked up 332 00:21:30,658 --> 00:21:32,359 they're too scared to possess us! 333 00:21:33,861 --> 00:21:35,763 Of course, it's all God's fault. 334 00:21:35,797 --> 00:21:36,731 He's a workaholic. 335 00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:38,666 I mean 336 00:21:38,699 --> 00:21:42,036 he could've been like everyone else and worked Monday to Friday 337 00:21:42,069 --> 00:21:44,705 but no, he's an overachieving asshole 338 00:21:44,739 --> 00:21:46,741 who wanted to work six days a week 339 00:21:46,774 --> 00:21:48,375 and only rest on Sundays. 340 00:21:49,777 --> 00:21:52,412 We could've been so cool but he was in such a rush now. 341 00:21:53,147 --> 00:21:55,016 He made us human. 342 00:21:55,049 --> 00:21:57,618 There are many others like him 343 00:21:57,652 --> 00:22:00,054 that take things too seriously. 344 00:22:00,087 --> 00:22:01,923 Work more than they need to 345 00:22:01,956 --> 00:22:03,356 slaves to their job. 346 00:22:04,357 --> 00:22:06,694 These workaholics are the ones you have to watch 347 00:22:07,829 --> 00:22:10,097 especially the evil ones. 348 00:23:31,112 --> 00:23:32,513 That was fucking creepy. 349 00:24:07,982 --> 00:24:08,816 Hello? 350 00:24:11,686 --> 00:24:12,553 Hello? 351 00:24:27,034 --> 00:24:27,902 Hello 352 00:24:42,183 --> 00:24:43,551 Hello, Mia 353 00:24:43,584 --> 00:24:44,618 Dave? 354 00:24:44,652 --> 00:24:45,786 Sorry, my fucking Bluetooth. 355 00:24:45,820 --> 00:24:47,121 What are you doing? 356 00:24:47,154 --> 00:24:49,724 Well I'm talking to you on the phone and driving over 357 00:24:49,757 --> 00:24:50,925 to your place. 358 00:24:50,958 --> 00:24:52,827 You know you're late by the way. 359 00:24:52,860 --> 00:24:54,996 Yeah well, I might have had to make a stop. 360 00:24:55,029 --> 00:24:56,564 What for? 361 00:24:56,597 --> 00:24:58,232 I got you something. 362 00:24:58,265 --> 00:25:00,201 Last time I got a gift from you, it was football tickets. 363 00:25:00,234 --> 00:25:01,702 Yeah, and those were really good seats. 364 00:25:01,736 --> 00:25:02,903 You know I don't watch football. 365 00:25:02,937 --> 00:25:04,238 What? 366 00:25:04,271 --> 00:25:05,106 What do you mean you don't watch football, since when? 367 00:25:05,139 --> 00:25:05,973 That was a fun day. 368 00:25:06,007 --> 00:25:07,608 I got us on the kiss cam. 369 00:25:07,641 --> 00:25:09,143 We had beers, I got you those fucking nachos you wanted. 370 00:25:10,244 --> 00:25:11,946 Being romantic is not your thing. 371 00:25:12,747 --> 00:25:13,714 Okay, I'll be there soon. 372 00:26:06,634 --> 00:26:08,169 Come on, come on, don't hit me. 373 00:26:08,202 --> 00:26:09,336 What the fuck is wrong with you? 374 00:26:09,370 --> 00:26:10,638 Are you on fucking steroids or what? 375 00:26:10,671 --> 00:26:11,939 Oh my gosh! 376 00:26:11,972 --> 00:26:13,774 That is what you get for being an idiot. 377 00:26:13,808 --> 00:26:15,876 Oh my gosh, you're so adorable 378 00:26:15,910 --> 00:26:16,977 when you're upset. 379 00:26:17,011 --> 00:26:18,379 What if I had a knife in my hand? 380 00:26:18,412 --> 00:26:19,880 What if you had a knife in your hand? 381 00:26:19,914 --> 00:26:21,248 I don't know, what would happen? 382 00:26:21,282 --> 00:26:23,350 Maybe you'd stab me 383 00:26:23,384 --> 00:26:25,386 cut me right here, and I'd get blood all over you. 384 00:26:25,419 --> 00:26:26,620 You'd get all wet. 385 00:26:28,189 --> 00:26:29,290 I got you a bear. 386 00:26:29,323 --> 00:26:31,092 You are so creepy. 387 00:26:31,125 --> 00:26:31,792 His name is Bill. 388 00:26:32,293 --> 00:26:32,960 Bill? 389 00:26:32,993 --> 00:26:34,061 Mhm. 390 00:26:34,095 --> 00:26:35,696 Bill is not a cute name for a bear. 391 00:26:35,729 --> 00:26:36,897 I think it's a cute name for a bear. 392 00:26:37,498 --> 00:26:38,699 And I got you flowers. 393 00:26:39,333 --> 00:26:40,801 Does that make up for it? 394 00:26:40,835 --> 00:26:42,136 Am I romantic enough for you? 395 00:26:42,970 --> 00:26:43,704 Yeah? 396 00:26:44,638 --> 00:26:46,107 I like how my shirt looks on you by the way. 397 00:26:46,140 --> 00:26:46,774 Really? 398 00:26:46,807 --> 00:26:47,675 It's pretty hot. 399 00:26:47,708 --> 00:26:48,876 Yeah? 400 00:26:48,909 --> 00:26:50,344 But I am going to need it back right now. 401 00:26:50,911 --> 00:26:52,213 I need you to take it off. 402 00:26:52,246 --> 00:26:53,180 Oh! 403 00:26:53,214 --> 00:26:54,215 Should I just take it off? 404 00:26:54,248 --> 00:26:54,949 Like right now, yeah. 405 00:26:56,016 --> 00:26:57,051 Yeah, just like right now. 406 00:26:57,818 --> 00:26:58,819 Yeah, like right now. 407 00:26:58,853 --> 00:26:59,787 That's good, that's a good start. 408 00:27:00,721 --> 00:27:02,189 A couple more buttons 409 00:28:56,003 --> 00:28:57,438 911, where is your emergency? 410 00:28:57,471 --> 00:28:58,540 Oh my God, please! 411 00:28:58,573 --> 00:28:59,974 Help me, he's coming after me. 412 00:29:07,181 --> 00:29:08,282 What do you want? 413 00:40:56,157 --> 00:40:57,892 Sorry, 414 00:40:57,925 --> 00:40:59,459 I haven't had breakfast. 415 00:41:00,061 --> 00:41:01,128 Anyway, 416 00:41:02,697 --> 00:41:05,566 back to the story of Phillipa. 417 00:41:05,599 --> 00:41:07,768 I always wanted to be a father. 418 00:41:09,103 --> 00:41:10,905 I wanted children 419 00:41:10,938 --> 00:41:12,239 with all my heart. 420 00:41:13,975 --> 00:41:16,777 But Phillipa didn't. 421 00:41:18,079 --> 00:41:20,614 She was perfect 422 00:41:20,648 --> 00:41:23,517 being pregnant would ruin her figure. 423 00:41:24,452 --> 00:41:27,254 And she would probably lose followers on Instagram. 424 00:41:28,089 --> 00:41:30,057 After we divorced 425 00:41:30,091 --> 00:41:32,727 Phillipa quickly moved on 426 00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,563 and started dating some other asshole. 427 00:41:35,596 --> 00:41:37,598 Who was even more boring than me. 428 00:41:39,633 --> 00:41:41,202 A year later 429 00:41:41,235 --> 00:41:42,603 she fell pregnant. 430 00:41:44,138 --> 00:41:46,173 So what the hell happened there? 431 00:41:48,809 --> 00:41:51,045 Perhaps Phillipa thought she would get more 432 00:41:51,078 --> 00:41:53,247 likes and comments 433 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:54,815 if she was holding a puppy. 434 00:41:55,516 --> 00:41:58,319 She always liked to do it doggy style. 435 00:41:58,352 --> 00:42:00,988 She probably thought she was gonna have puppies. 436 00:42:02,023 --> 00:42:04,558 I loved her dearly 437 00:42:04,592 --> 00:42:06,560 but she was too shallow. 438 00:42:06,594 --> 00:42:09,030 Too 439 00:42:09,063 --> 00:42:11,565 dependant on her appearance. 440 00:42:11,599 --> 00:42:13,734 I mean, you can't blame her. 441 00:42:13,768 --> 00:42:15,636 Who isn't these days? 442 00:42:15,669 --> 00:42:17,238 A culture based 443 00:42:17,271 --> 00:42:19,540 on appearances and hypocrisy. 444 00:42:20,307 --> 00:42:21,976 That's what this is! 445 00:42:22,877 --> 00:42:24,245 Perhaps 446 00:42:24,278 --> 00:42:25,679 that's why I'm here. 447 00:42:27,648 --> 00:42:28,983 Because 448 00:42:29,016 --> 00:42:30,684 I wasn't true to myself. 449 00:42:32,620 --> 00:42:33,921 But No more! 450 00:42:35,623 --> 00:42:38,325 Now it's a time to change. 451 00:42:39,393 --> 00:42:40,961 Now 452 00:42:40,995 --> 00:42:42,329 it's time to be free. 453 00:42:56,368 --> 00:42:58,495 It's nice we can choose the clothes together. 454 00:42:59,204 --> 00:43:00,706 We're so lucky 455 00:43:00,747 --> 00:43:02,875 not everybody can do that. 456 00:43:02,916 --> 00:43:05,669 It'll be big on you, but I'd like you to wear 457 00:43:05,711 --> 00:43:06,962 my father's suit. 458 00:43:07,004 --> 00:43:08,046 What do you think? 459 00:43:10,507 --> 00:43:11,341 I don't care. 460 00:43:11,383 --> 00:43:12,176 I'll wear whatever. 461 00:43:12,217 --> 00:43:15,012 No, you must look smart. 462 00:43:15,053 --> 00:43:16,847 It's an important day for me. 463 00:43:16,889 --> 00:43:19,933 Lots of people are coming, you must look perfect. 464 00:43:19,975 --> 00:43:22,686 Then just choose my clothes for me. 465 00:43:22,728 --> 00:43:23,896 I'm not in the mood. 466 00:43:23,937 --> 00:43:24,730 Shoes? 467 00:43:26,190 --> 00:43:29,526 The brown ones are nicer, right? 468 00:43:29,568 --> 00:43:32,112 Those ones rub and give me sores. 469 00:43:32,988 --> 00:43:34,865 I prefer the black ones. 470 00:43:34,907 --> 00:43:35,616 These ones. 471 00:43:35,657 --> 00:43:37,951 They're newer. 472 00:43:37,993 --> 00:43:41,288 They're newer because I never wear them. 473 00:43:41,330 --> 00:43:42,206 They rub. 474 00:43:42,247 --> 00:43:44,625 Then put some plasters on. 475 00:43:44,666 --> 00:43:47,211 Why ask me which shoes I want if you're going 476 00:43:47,252 --> 00:43:48,712 to choose them yourself? 477 00:43:48,754 --> 00:43:50,422 Which tie? 478 00:43:50,464 --> 00:43:51,715 I like these two. 479 00:43:52,758 --> 00:43:54,843 I don't like wearing a tie. 480 00:43:54,885 --> 00:43:57,095 I never wear a tie. 481 00:43:57,137 --> 00:43:58,096 It's not my style. 482 00:43:58,805 --> 00:43:59,640 Style! 483 00:44:00,599 --> 00:44:02,184 Style What's your style? 484 00:44:03,352 --> 00:44:04,978 You look like a rustic. 485 00:44:05,020 --> 00:44:07,898 I am a rustic and I like the way I look, okay? 486 00:44:09,775 --> 00:44:12,027 Shave that beard off. 487 00:44:12,069 --> 00:44:14,071 You're not going with that great beard. 488 00:44:14,112 --> 00:44:16,990 You're not touching my great beard. 489 00:44:17,032 --> 00:44:19,535 I was practically born with a beard. 490 00:44:19,576 --> 00:44:21,954 You met me with this beard. 491 00:44:21,995 --> 00:44:25,457 That beard is going and that's that. 492 00:44:25,499 --> 00:44:28,710 Don't you dare I mean it, okay? 493 00:44:33,799 --> 00:44:34,758 Darling. 494 00:44:39,388 --> 00:44:40,264 That beard. 495 00:44:41,974 --> 00:44:43,433 That beard it's disgusting. 496 00:44:45,018 --> 00:44:45,936 It doesn't suit you. 497 00:44:47,145 --> 00:44:48,188 It never has. 498 00:44:50,274 --> 00:44:52,568 These clothes that we're choosing 499 00:44:52,609 --> 00:44:54,862 you'll be wearing for eternity. 500 00:44:54,903 --> 00:44:56,196 We don't have much time 501 00:44:56,238 --> 00:45:00,534 so make an effort and help me with all of this. 502 00:45:01,618 --> 00:45:03,203 You're the star. 503 00:45:03,245 --> 00:45:04,496 Lots of people are coming 504 00:45:04,538 --> 00:45:07,416 to see you one last time at your wake. 505 00:45:07,457 --> 00:45:10,919 So I want you to look handsome and radiant. 506 00:45:10,961 --> 00:45:12,713 They'll think that I've dressed you badly because 507 00:45:12,754 --> 00:45:14,631 you're a simple villager. 508 00:45:14,673 --> 00:45:18,010 But that's what I am. 509 00:45:18,051 --> 00:45:20,888 That's how I want people to remember me. 510 00:45:20,929 --> 00:45:22,890 With my shirts 511 00:45:22,931 --> 00:45:24,641 with tracksuit bottoms 512 00:45:25,350 --> 00:45:26,852 and, above all 513 00:45:26,894 --> 00:45:27,811 with my beard. 514 00:45:29,354 --> 00:45:31,023 Don't touch my beard, okay? 515 00:45:32,107 --> 00:45:34,651 I have to get the flowers 516 00:45:34,693 --> 00:45:37,237 the coffin and call the last guests. 517 00:45:37,279 --> 00:45:39,406 The burial is in three days. 518 00:45:40,490 --> 00:45:42,117 So don't be selfish. 519 00:45:42,159 --> 00:45:43,744 Cooperate a little, please. 520 00:45:43,785 --> 00:45:45,245 Darling 521 00:45:45,287 --> 00:45:48,332 why don't you just wait until I die and you can do it 522 00:45:48,373 --> 00:45:49,583 as you like. 523 00:45:49,625 --> 00:45:53,921 Darling, I don't like to remind you but 524 00:45:53,962 --> 00:45:56,298 the doctor said you have less than 48 hours left. 525 00:45:57,132 --> 00:45:58,258 What if he's wrong? 526 00:46:00,260 --> 00:46:01,470 He won't be wrong. 527 00:46:34,503 --> 00:46:36,213 He looks so smart. 528 00:46:36,255 --> 00:46:38,215 Are the clothes his? 529 00:46:38,257 --> 00:46:40,509 Or are they from the funeral home? 530 00:46:40,551 --> 00:46:42,928 It's my father's suit. 531 00:46:42,970 --> 00:46:45,639 We chose it together for the occasion. 532 00:46:46,431 --> 00:46:49,101 Rest assured, dear. 533 00:46:49,142 --> 00:46:51,937 He's more handsome dead than he was alive. 534 00:46:51,979 --> 00:46:55,482 A little too much make-up though, don't you think? 535 00:46:55,524 --> 00:46:58,652 If not he'd be white and would give us the chills 536 00:46:58,694 --> 00:47:01,697 but I think it's a complete waste of time. 537 00:47:01,738 --> 00:47:03,824 He'll start to rot in a few hours. 538 00:47:03,866 --> 00:47:06,034 He looks better without a beard. 539 00:47:06,076 --> 00:47:07,536 He looks younger. 540 00:47:07,578 --> 00:47:09,371 He's unrecognizable without it. 541 00:47:09,413 --> 00:47:10,706 He looks gay. 542 00:47:10,747 --> 00:47:13,500 I always told him to shave. 543 00:47:13,542 --> 00:47:16,128 Without that beard, he's so handsome. 544 00:47:16,170 --> 00:47:17,838 He looks like a fairy. 545 00:47:17,880 --> 00:47:18,881 Why did you shave him? 546 00:47:21,091 --> 00:47:22,426 It was one of his last requests. 547 00:47:25,846 --> 00:47:29,183 If you don't mind, could you join the others? 548 00:47:29,224 --> 00:47:30,893 I'd like to be alone with him. 549 00:47:59,087 --> 00:48:00,682 Darling! 550 00:48:05,761 --> 00:48:07,137 What the hell are you doing alive? 551 00:48:07,930 --> 00:48:08,805 I don't know. 552 00:48:09,515 --> 00:48:11,183 I just woke up. 553 00:48:11,225 --> 00:48:12,726 My God, what a shock. 554 00:48:12,768 --> 00:48:13,936 How can this be? 555 00:48:13,977 --> 00:48:17,022 The doctor confirmed your death a few hours ago. 556 00:48:17,064 --> 00:48:19,358 He confirmed it badly then. 557 00:48:19,399 --> 00:48:21,026 Because, as you can see, 558 00:48:21,068 --> 00:48:22,277 I'm alive. 559 00:48:22,319 --> 00:48:25,322 I feel absolutely fine. 560 00:48:25,364 --> 00:48:27,032 We're burying you in an hour. 561 00:48:29,076 --> 00:48:31,453 Your friends are here, it's all ready. 562 00:48:31,495 --> 00:48:33,914 Even people who don't like you came. 563 00:48:35,624 --> 00:48:38,418 We'll cancel it that's that. 564 00:48:39,711 --> 00:48:43,590 I'll go out right now and explain it all. 565 00:48:43,632 --> 00:48:44,883 Are you crazy? 566 00:48:44,925 --> 00:48:47,052 It's been a lot of trouble. 567 00:48:47,094 --> 00:48:48,262 There are hundreds of people. 568 00:48:48,303 --> 00:48:50,597 There are high expectations. 569 00:48:50,639 --> 00:48:51,807 That many people came? 570 00:48:52,891 --> 00:48:53,892 It's a success. 571 00:48:55,269 --> 00:48:57,062 I've always been a popular guy. 572 00:48:58,772 --> 00:49:01,692 They'll be happy I'm alive. 573 00:49:01,733 --> 00:49:03,068 Darling 574 00:49:03,110 --> 00:49:04,778 I'm your wife and I love you 575 00:49:05,737 --> 00:49:07,573 but it's too late now. 576 00:49:07,614 --> 00:49:08,866 We're used to the idea now. 577 00:49:10,158 --> 00:49:11,451 What do you mean? 578 00:49:11,493 --> 00:49:13,787 We can't lose face. 579 00:49:13,829 --> 00:49:14,872 We'd look stupid. 580 00:49:14,913 --> 00:49:16,874 I'd be a laughing stock. 581 00:49:19,293 --> 00:49:20,752 There's a lot at stake. 582 00:49:21,837 --> 00:49:22,504 What do you mean? 583 00:49:22,546 --> 00:49:24,631 You have to die. 584 00:49:24,673 --> 00:49:26,842 You can't just resurrect like this. 585 00:49:26,884 --> 00:49:28,218 Are you serious? 586 00:49:28,260 --> 00:49:29,261 Of course. 587 00:49:31,555 --> 00:49:34,641 Shit You can't do this to me. 588 00:49:34,683 --> 00:49:36,476 Juan, don't talk back to me. 589 00:49:36,518 --> 00:49:38,020 Your mother is here. 590 00:49:38,061 --> 00:49:40,480 My parents are on their way. 591 00:49:40,522 --> 00:49:43,150 When they arrive, they want you dead and buried. 592 00:49:43,192 --> 00:49:44,568 We can't let them down. 593 00:49:44,610 --> 00:49:46,737 I don't want to die yet. 594 00:49:47,187 --> 00:49:49,239 I'm not ready. 595 00:49:50,782 --> 00:49:51,366 Darling. 596 00:49:52,910 --> 00:49:53,827 Do you love me? 597 00:49:54,494 --> 00:49:55,454 Yes. 598 00:49:55,495 --> 00:49:57,331 Well, if you really love me 599 00:49:57,372 --> 00:49:58,040 die. 600 00:50:00,709 --> 00:50:02,169 You want me to kill myself? 601 00:50:08,800 --> 00:50:09,718 My little boy. 602 00:50:12,513 --> 00:50:13,889 My little boy's gone. 603 00:50:15,849 --> 00:50:19,186 Faustina, don't fuss over him you'll crease his suit. 604 00:50:21,605 --> 00:50:22,356 Goodness me. 605 00:50:23,607 --> 00:50:25,692 He's so handsome without his beard. 606 00:50:26,610 --> 00:50:28,529 You shaved my beard in the end. 607 00:50:28,570 --> 00:50:30,822 What are you doing alive? 608 00:50:30,864 --> 00:50:32,741 I don't know but I've woken up. 609 00:50:32,783 --> 00:50:34,409 See? 610 00:50:34,451 --> 00:50:36,036 Fresh as a daisy. 611 00:50:36,078 --> 00:50:37,204 It's a miracle! 612 00:50:37,246 --> 00:50:38,673 Yes. 613 00:50:38,747 --> 00:50:40,999 Of course, I said that to her: 614 00:50:41,041 --> 00:50:44,920 "It's a miracle", but 615 00:50:44,962 --> 00:50:48,507 now I want to go outside and give everybody the good news. 616 00:50:48,549 --> 00:50:50,175 But she won't let me. 617 00:50:50,217 --> 00:50:52,678 She says I have to die. 618 00:50:52,719 --> 00:50:54,346 He wants to cancel the funeral. 619 00:50:54,388 --> 00:50:57,391 He says he doesn't want to be buried until he's dead. 620 00:50:57,432 --> 00:50:58,809 Cancel the funeral? 621 00:51:00,060 --> 00:51:01,895 Are you crazy? 622 00:51:01,937 --> 00:51:04,273 Do you know the amount of people here? 623 00:51:05,315 --> 00:51:07,609 It's the funeral of the year. 624 00:51:08,527 --> 00:51:10,070 It cannot be canceled. 625 00:51:11,280 --> 00:51:12,447 But, Mum? 626 00:51:12,489 --> 00:51:14,741 Don't "mum" me. 627 00:51:14,783 --> 00:51:16,410 You'll be buried today and that's that. 628 00:51:17,828 --> 00:51:20,956 We can't lose face with everybody. 629 00:51:20,998 --> 00:51:23,959 But I don't want to die, Mum. 630 00:51:24,001 --> 00:51:25,085 Son, 631 00:51:25,127 --> 00:51:26,295 don't be selfish. 632 00:51:26,336 --> 00:51:28,839 You have less than one hour 633 00:51:28,881 --> 00:51:29,882 to die. 634 00:51:30,757 --> 00:51:32,050 What rotten luck. 635 00:51:35,012 --> 00:51:36,388 How am I supposed to do it? 636 00:51:38,056 --> 00:51:40,267 I don't know. 637 00:51:40,309 --> 00:51:43,228 I don't know Hold your breath like when you have the hiccups. 638 00:51:44,688 --> 00:51:45,522 Hiccups? 639 00:52:07,878 --> 00:52:08,712 I can't. 640 00:52:09,338 --> 00:52:09,838 I can't. 641 00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:10,964 I'm suffocating. 642 00:52:11,006 --> 00:52:11,924 Darling, that's the idea. 643 00:52:13,300 --> 00:52:14,092 I don't like it. 644 00:52:16,011 --> 00:52:17,721 Think of another way. I don't like this one. 645 00:52:18,972 --> 00:52:19,806 Don't cry. 646 00:52:19,848 --> 00:52:21,850 Cooperate a little, son! 647 00:52:23,852 --> 00:52:26,522 If you want me to die then think of something else. 648 00:52:28,106 --> 00:52:29,775 Why don't you cut your veins? 649 00:52:46,041 --> 00:52:47,292 How's it going, darling? 650 00:52:51,171 --> 00:52:53,006 I feel a little dizzy 651 00:52:53,966 --> 00:52:55,759 but that's about it. 652 00:52:55,801 --> 00:52:58,929 The funeral workers are coming in 30 minutes, 653 00:52:58,971 --> 00:53:00,764 they can't find him like this! 654 00:53:01,557 --> 00:53:03,559 Marisa, darling? 655 00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:06,186 Go to the kitchen, get the carving knife and stab me 656 00:53:06,228 --> 00:53:07,604 as many times as it takes. 657 00:53:08,313 --> 00:53:09,106 Me? 658 00:53:09,147 --> 00:53:10,148 Stab you? 659 00:53:10,190 --> 00:53:13,318 How can he be so macabre? 660 00:53:45,184 --> 00:53:45,976 I can't take anymore. 661 00:53:47,060 --> 00:53:48,020 Come on. 662 00:53:49,146 --> 00:53:50,022 Harder. 663 00:53:51,023 --> 00:53:52,024 You won't die. 664 00:53:54,026 --> 00:53:55,485 Don't you feel anything? 665 00:53:55,527 --> 00:53:56,486 My dear 666 00:53:58,030 --> 00:54:00,574 my stomach hurts, but 667 00:54:00,616 --> 00:54:02,326 I think I'm just nervous. 668 00:54:03,410 --> 00:54:04,077 Damn it, Juanito. 669 00:54:04,119 --> 00:54:04,912 Just die! 670 00:54:07,706 --> 00:54:08,832 How's it going? 671 00:54:08,874 --> 00:54:09,583 Mum! 672 00:54:09,625 --> 00:54:10,876 We're running out of time. 673 00:54:10,918 --> 00:54:12,002 People are impatient. 674 00:54:14,963 --> 00:54:17,174 This bastard doesn't want to die. 675 00:54:17,216 --> 00:54:18,091 I'll help. 676 00:54:18,133 --> 00:54:19,718 I found this in the kitchen. 677 00:54:19,760 --> 00:54:20,928 Mum? 678 00:54:20,969 --> 00:54:22,221 What are you going to do? 679 00:54:24,515 --> 00:54:26,475 You keep stabbing him. 680 00:54:26,517 --> 00:54:29,061 I'm going to whisk his stomach. 681 00:54:35,442 --> 00:54:37,361 It's disgusting! 682 00:54:37,402 --> 00:54:39,279 Life is disgusting 683 00:54:41,657 --> 00:54:42,908 death more so. 684 00:54:45,619 --> 00:54:46,745 What beautiful words, Mum. 685 00:55:05,264 --> 00:55:07,057 Why are you smoking? 686 00:55:07,933 --> 00:55:08,934 Smoking kills. 687 00:55:10,769 --> 00:55:12,563 It'll take hours for him to bleed out. 688 00:55:14,189 --> 00:55:15,190 It's not working. 689 00:55:17,025 --> 00:55:20,028 But the blood is perfectly fluffy. 690 00:55:20,070 --> 00:55:20,821 Fantastic. 691 00:55:26,869 --> 00:55:27,786 Look at it all. 692 00:55:31,540 --> 00:55:34,710 I didn't want to let anyone down and now it's a disaster. 693 00:55:39,173 --> 00:55:40,799 I gave my life preparing this funeral 694 00:55:42,176 --> 00:55:43,945 for nothing. 695 00:55:50,475 --> 00:55:51,894 Who will clean all this blood? 696 00:55:52,153 --> 00:55:54,730 What will we say? 697 00:55:54,771 --> 00:55:55,939 What will they think of us? 698 00:55:56,773 --> 00:55:57,774 Look! 699 00:55:57,816 --> 00:55:59,193 Look at our dresses 700 00:55:59,234 --> 00:56:00,777 and what we've done to your son. 701 00:56:02,487 --> 00:56:04,031 What do we look like? 702 00:56:04,072 --> 00:56:05,407 You look like what you are: 703 00:56:06,825 --> 00:56:07,576 Two fucking psychopaths. 704 00:56:12,539 --> 00:56:13,957 How dare you insult your mother. 705 00:56:15,876 --> 00:56:17,336 Who does he think he is? 706 00:56:18,170 --> 00:56:19,463 Some manners! 707 00:56:23,175 --> 00:56:24,009 He's not moving. 708 00:56:25,385 --> 00:56:25,928 What? 709 00:56:27,179 --> 00:56:28,180 He's not moving 710 00:56:33,727 --> 00:56:34,603 or breathing. 711 00:56:35,771 --> 00:56:37,147 Are you sure? 712 00:56:37,189 --> 00:56:38,148 Yes 713 00:56:38,190 --> 00:56:39,316 yes. 714 00:56:39,358 --> 00:56:40,609 I think you killed him. 715 00:56:42,569 --> 00:56:44,446 I killed 716 00:56:44,488 --> 00:56:45,906 my son? 717 00:56:45,948 --> 00:56:47,115 Yes, Faustina. 718 00:56:47,157 --> 00:56:48,116 You killed him! 719 00:56:48,158 --> 00:56:48,742 You killed him! 720 00:56:48,784 --> 00:56:49,368 No. 721 00:56:49,409 --> 00:56:51,662 I can't have done. 722 00:56:51,703 --> 00:56:54,540 Not my son, no. 723 00:56:54,581 --> 00:56:56,542 But Faustina, isn't this what we wanted? 724 00:56:58,210 --> 00:57:00,921 The worst thing that can happen to a mother 725 00:57:00,963 --> 00:57:02,422 is to lose her child! 726 00:57:08,011 --> 00:57:09,847 But, at least 727 00:57:09,888 --> 00:57:12,224 we don't have to cancel the ceremony. 728 00:57:27,281 --> 00:57:28,073 I think I scared them. 729 00:57:30,492 --> 00:57:32,995 They didn't recognize me without my beard. 730 00:57:33,036 --> 00:57:34,162 What do we do now? 731 00:57:52,472 --> 00:57:53,765 Why can't I die? 732 00:57:54,683 --> 00:57:56,685 Why can't I die?! 733 00:59:24,314 --> 00:59:25,983 Dr Gonzalez, please go to surgery. 734 00:59:49,056 --> 00:59:52,293 And this low pressure system, is going to slide in 735 00:59:52,326 --> 00:59:53,994 and bring with it. 736 00:59:58,182 --> 01:00:00,017 Now what? you fucking gringo. 737 01:00:00,058 --> 01:00:01,435 I have my green card! 738 01:00:05,206 --> 01:00:07,208 US Border protection: How can I help you? 739 01:00:08,984 --> 01:00:09,943 Well yeah. 740 01:00:09,985 --> 01:00:12,029 You can help me, give me my job back. 741 01:00:14,823 --> 01:00:16,074 What the fuck did you do? 742 01:00:16,116 --> 01:00:17,117 What the fuck did you do? 743 01:00:17,159 --> 01:00:18,577 You destroyed my car, fucking gringo! 744 01:00:18,752 --> 01:00:20,221 Thanks for your collaboration, 745 01:00:20,254 --> 01:00:22,790 and remember: Don't come back again! 746 01:00:26,418 --> 01:00:29,004 And the gringo wants to charge us for the wall. 747 01:00:29,046 --> 01:00:31,298 Tell him no, fucking racist gringo! 748 01:00:31,340 --> 01:00:32,424 We won't pay you shit! 749 01:00:34,235 --> 01:00:35,936 Wait a minute please. 750 01:00:49,274 --> 01:00:50,484 Mr. Trump 751 01:00:50,526 --> 01:00:53,153 look, we are honest people and 752 01:00:53,195 --> 01:00:54,530 we only want to ask you to... 753 01:01:35,988 --> 01:01:37,698 Who changed my case? 754 01:01:37,739 --> 01:01:39,533 Who did you steal this from? 755 01:01:39,575 --> 01:01:41,827 Well, it was there 756 01:01:45,163 --> 01:01:46,999 Play the guitar! 757 01:01:47,040 --> 01:01:49,459 Sing something, but in English, or he won't understand. 758 01:02:03,390 --> 01:02:05,392 Come here Mr. diplomat. 759 01:02:05,434 --> 01:02:07,644 It's up to you to demand him 760 01:02:07,686 --> 01:02:08,645 put it on! 761 01:02:09,605 --> 01:02:11,231 If you don't 762 01:02:11,273 --> 01:02:14,610 he'll step over our people and destroy our culture. 763 01:02:18,614 --> 01:02:20,115 Go, hurry up! 764 01:02:25,996 --> 01:02:27,998 Now, who could save us? 765 01:02:37,508 --> 01:02:38,383 Hey what's that? 766 01:02:38,425 --> 01:02:39,885 It's a miracle! 767 01:02:41,303 --> 01:02:43,096 It's quetzalcoatl. 768 01:02:43,138 --> 01:02:44,723 Is it the hail Mary? 769 01:02:46,725 --> 01:02:48,143 It is the hail Mary! 770 01:03:07,579 --> 01:03:09,706 Hell yeah motherfucker! 771 01:04:34,576 --> 01:04:35,577 Well, believe it or not we are already halfway 772 01:04:37,177 --> 01:04:38,312 through the show. 773 01:04:39,279 --> 01:04:41,315 Wasn't as bad as you thought. 774 01:04:41,348 --> 01:04:42,650 Well, perhaps it was 775 01:04:42,684 --> 01:04:44,485 but you have to defend yourself, don't you? 776 01:04:45,653 --> 01:04:47,488 A wise man once said 777 01:04:48,355 --> 01:04:50,391 that our decisions get us into trouble 778 01:04:51,492 --> 01:04:52,926 but our pride that keeps us there. 779 01:04:54,696 --> 01:04:57,464 Sometimes we make decisions to please people 780 01:04:57,498 --> 01:04:58,465 or annoy them. 781 01:04:59,967 --> 01:05:01,301 Like I did with my father 782 01:05:02,369 --> 01:05:04,639 I decided to study accountancy 783 01:05:04,672 --> 01:05:06,039 just to piss him off. 784 01:05:06,741 --> 01:05:08,442 My dad was a rock singer 785 01:05:08,475 --> 01:05:11,378 but not one of those that would sell a million records 786 01:05:11,412 --> 01:05:13,447 or that you would see on TV. 787 01:05:13,480 --> 01:05:15,517 He was the type of guy that would hop from bar to bar 788 01:05:15,550 --> 01:05:17,017 working for tips. 789 01:05:18,252 --> 01:05:19,153 He was happy 790 01:05:19,987 --> 01:05:21,155 a free soul. 791 01:05:22,356 --> 01:05:24,559 But he never gave my mother or I a dime. 792 01:05:25,693 --> 01:05:27,562 He said money was the root of all evil. 793 01:05:29,764 --> 01:05:31,733 I was 19 when I enrolled to study the thing 794 01:05:31,766 --> 01:05:34,067 he would hate the most: accounting. 795 01:05:35,169 --> 01:05:36,470 I would count money 796 01:05:36,503 --> 01:05:38,071 touch money 797 01:05:38,105 --> 01:05:39,239 smell money. 798 01:05:41,442 --> 01:05:43,444 And become the complete opposite 799 01:05:43,477 --> 01:05:44,546 of what he was: 800 01:05:45,279 --> 01:05:46,246 an artist. 801 01:05:48,616 --> 01:05:51,018 Deep down I hated my choice too 802 01:05:51,051 --> 01:05:53,588 but the fact that it depressed and disappointed my father 803 01:05:53,621 --> 01:05:55,690 was reason enough for it to be worthwhile. 804 01:05:56,624 --> 01:05:59,326 And that's how I ended up working in a career that I hate 805 01:06:00,360 --> 01:06:01,563 and now my father is dead. 806 01:06:03,030 --> 01:06:04,164 I hadn't accounted on that. 807 01:06:05,199 --> 01:06:09,503 Never do anything for anyone else for any reason whatsoever! 808 01:06:09,537 --> 01:06:10,404 Never! 809 01:06:12,306 --> 01:06:13,575 You just do you! 810 01:17:48,435 --> 01:17:51,872 When I die, I wanna go peacefully like my grandad. 811 01:17:52,507 --> 01:17:54,375 Not screaming like his passengers. 812 01:17:57,311 --> 01:17:59,480 John says to Jack: 813 01:17:59,514 --> 01:18:02,383 You know since yesterday my uncle rests in peace. 814 01:18:03,284 --> 01:18:04,752 Jack says: 815 01:18:04,785 --> 01:18:06,120 Oh sorry. 816 01:18:06,153 --> 01:18:08,489 I didn't know your uncle died. 817 01:18:08,523 --> 01:18:10,791 He didn't, it was my aunt who died. 818 01:18:15,763 --> 01:18:17,398 Two guys meet in heaven 819 01:18:17,431 --> 01:18:19,033 one says to the other: 820 01:18:19,066 --> 01:18:20,734 How did you go? 821 01:18:20,768 --> 01:18:22,369 I froze to death, said the other 822 01:18:22,403 --> 01:18:23,737 and you? 823 01:18:23,771 --> 01:18:25,039 I died of laughter 824 01:18:25,973 --> 01:18:27,074 Laughter? 825 01:18:27,107 --> 01:18:28,342 What do you mean? 826 01:18:28,375 --> 01:18:31,111 Well, I thought my wife was having an affair 827 01:18:31,145 --> 01:18:32,479 so I left for work 828 01:18:32,514 --> 01:18:35,115 and then returned an hour later to catch them 829 01:18:35,149 --> 01:18:37,519 I searched the whole house for them 830 01:18:37,552 --> 01:18:39,753 and when I realized my mistake 831 01:18:39,787 --> 01:18:43,357 I started laughing and gave myself a heart-attack! 832 01:18:43,390 --> 01:18:44,758 You idiot! 833 01:18:44,792 --> 01:18:46,460 Says the other guy. 834 01:18:46,493 --> 01:18:49,763 If you looked in the freezer you could have saved us both! 835 01:18:54,235 --> 01:18:54,935 Get it? 836 01:18:56,070 --> 01:18:57,972 The lover was hiding in the freezer! 837 01:18:58,607 --> 01:19:00,508 The other guy was a cuckold! 838 01:19:01,342 --> 01:19:02,943 Just like you! 839 01:19:02,977 --> 01:19:04,144 Why did you say that? 840 01:19:04,178 --> 01:19:06,413 Because you are a cuckold 841 01:19:06,447 --> 01:19:07,848 I'm not a cuckold! 842 01:19:07,881 --> 01:19:10,251 Yes, you're holding my cock right now. 843 01:19:12,086 --> 01:19:13,454 No I'm not. 844 01:19:13,487 --> 01:19:14,855 Anyway, 845 01:19:14,888 --> 01:19:16,457 I don't know why I'm arguing with you. 846 01:19:16,490 --> 01:19:19,326 I don't know why you've got your hand up my ass. 847 01:19:21,028 --> 01:19:23,864 Stop it. You know nothing. You know nothing about Phillipa. 848 01:19:23,897 --> 01:19:24,798 She loves me. 849 01:19:25,499 --> 01:19:26,934 No, you're right. 850 01:19:26,967 --> 01:19:27,935 Of course I don't. 851 01:19:29,136 --> 01:19:31,105 But you remind me of this guy Dan. 852 01:19:32,239 --> 01:19:34,208 Dan was playing in the casino. 853 01:19:34,241 --> 01:19:36,143 His friend rushes in and says: 854 01:19:36,176 --> 01:19:37,978 Quick, Dan! 855 01:19:38,012 --> 01:19:41,315 Your wife is sleeping with someone else in the car park. 856 01:19:41,348 --> 01:19:42,883 Dan runs out 857 01:19:42,916 --> 01:19:44,852 comes back ten minutes later. 858 01:19:45,386 --> 01:19:46,820 You idiot! 859 01:19:46,854 --> 01:19:48,255 You scared me! 860 01:19:48,289 --> 01:19:49,890 It wasn't someone else. 861 01:19:49,923 --> 01:19:52,326 It was the same guy as always. 862 01:19:54,895 --> 01:19:55,896 Cut it out. 863 01:19:55,929 --> 01:19:59,166 Phillipa says: Honey, can you buy me a cell phone? 864 01:19:59,734 --> 01:20:01,435 What about the other one? 865 01:20:01,468 --> 01:20:03,103 The other one will get me a tablet. 866 01:20:06,006 --> 01:20:08,309 Hey Brandon. 867 01:20:08,342 --> 01:20:10,377 You know how Phillipa's nickname 868 01:20:10,411 --> 01:20:11,945 is Phil. 869 01:20:11,979 --> 01:20:14,982 Well when she gets a runny nose from too much sex 870 01:20:15,015 --> 01:20:17,484 the guys all call her Phul! 871 01:20:20,054 --> 01:20:21,288 Hey! 872 01:20:21,322 --> 01:20:23,257 You know what else they call your wife? 873 01:20:23,290 --> 01:20:25,326 American Flag! 874 01:20:25,359 --> 01:20:27,928 Cause she even gets planted on the Moon! 875 01:21:48,108 --> 01:21:49,109 Mission control? 876 01:21:52,079 --> 01:21:53,147 Do you read me? 877 01:21:55,517 --> 01:21:56,483 Mission control! 878 01:21:57,251 --> 01:21:57,951 Do you read me? 879 01:21:57,985 --> 01:21:58,620 Over! 880 01:22:06,226 --> 01:22:10,130 Mission Control, this is SEV Omega T26. 881 01:22:10,765 --> 01:22:12,065 I need help! 882 01:22:13,601 --> 01:22:14,702 Please answer! 883 01:22:21,208 --> 01:22:25,112 Mission Control this is SEV Omega T26. 884 01:22:26,346 --> 01:22:28,683 Please answer! 885 01:22:55,175 --> 01:22:58,445 This is SEV Omega T26. 886 01:22:59,413 --> 01:23:00,414 I need help! 887 01:23:04,151 --> 01:23:05,152 Mayday! 888 01:23:09,824 --> 01:23:11,693 Mission Control, please. 889 01:23:11,726 --> 01:23:13,060 Please answer someone! 890 01:23:13,093 --> 01:23:14,662 Please! 891 01:23:14,696 --> 01:23:17,599 Please, just... 892 01:23:41,823 --> 01:23:46,159 Oh I Wonder what you are. 893 01:23:48,596 --> 01:23:53,100 Up above the world so High. 894 01:23:56,236 --> 01:24:00,274 Like a diamond in the sky. 895 01:26:07,735 --> 01:26:08,468 Hello? 896 01:26:10,337 --> 01:26:12,172 Is anybody there? 897 01:26:16,243 --> 01:26:19,514 Mayday! This is SEV Omega T26 898 01:31:08,169 --> 01:31:10,738 Houston, Tranquility Base here. 899 01:31:10,771 --> 01:31:12,606 The Eagle has landed. 900 01:31:39,867 --> 01:31:41,669 Okay, Houston, we've had a problem here. 901 01:31:42,636 --> 01:31:43,404 This is Houston. 902 01:31:43,437 --> 01:31:44,504 Say again, please. 903 01:31:44,538 --> 01:31:46,207 Uh, Houston, we've had a problem. 904 01:31:58,252 --> 01:32:00,187 Needless to say, they have useful application 905 01:32:00,221 --> 01:32:02,957 in a lot of situations. 906 01:32:02,990 --> 01:32:05,059 But when it comes to your skin, 907 01:32:05,092 --> 01:32:07,194 chemicals are a definitely no-no. 908 01:32:07,228 --> 01:32:09,764 So also bio food bio beauty products. 909 01:32:09,797 --> 01:32:10,831 Why am I not surprised? 910 01:32:12,833 --> 01:32:15,269 Ok, people listening to us are probably dying to know more. 911 01:32:15,302 --> 01:32:17,638 So, stop the agony and give me the cure. 912 01:32:17,671 --> 01:32:21,208 Well, biological are quiet trendy today. 913 01:32:21,242 --> 01:32:23,878 The beauty and now the help is we have started to get 914 01:32:23,911 --> 01:32:25,980 on the bandwagon, saying that 915 01:32:26,013 --> 01:32:29,150 "If people put bio into their bodies. 916 01:32:29,183 --> 01:32:31,986 Why not put bio onto their bodies too?" 917 01:32:32,019 --> 01:32:33,687 It's just really stuff. 918 01:32:33,721 --> 01:32:36,090 Yeah, it's fascinating and also 919 01:32:36,123 --> 01:32:37,758 and now you have authenticity right here. 920 01:32:37,792 --> 01:32:39,794 Quiet a lot of it is natural and vital ingredients 921 01:32:39,827 --> 01:32:42,730 and lotions-our listeners can go out and buy it 922 01:32:42,763 --> 01:32:44,065 at any natural food store. 923 01:32:44,098 --> 01:32:45,032 Am I right? 924 01:32:45,066 --> 01:32:47,568 Yes. Yes, yes, you're right. 925 01:35:59,059 --> 01:36:01,295 Help me! 926 01:39:30,738 --> 01:39:32,674 Come on. 927 01:40:00,367 --> 01:40:01,803 Hello. 928 01:40:01,836 --> 01:40:03,170 Hey sheriff.