(Gloria) Places!
(Ant'ney) Ahem.
Welcome to the production of "Rats on Broadway"!
Our story starts on a quiet, peaceful night
at the habitat.
Pickles and Dave sleep soundly in the tree, snoring.
When suddenly...
(Gloria) Hiyah!
Beware of Gloria the ninja!
(Marty) Nice try, but you're no match for Cowboy Marty!
(Melman) I. Am. A. Robot. Bleep bloop.
I. Will. Defeat you!
(Alex) It is I! King Alex, ruler of the habitat.
Beware my royal pillow!
(laughing)
(Pickles) Hey! Keep your feathers out of our banana pile.
(Gloria) This ninja is sleepy!
(Melman) Me. Too. Meep moop.
(Marty) Uh... Aren't you forgetting something?
(Melman) Oh. Right. Clean up!
(Gloria) Hold on. Where's Alex?
(yawn)
(clears throat)
-(Marty) Really? -(Alex) What?
I'm a king, and kings don't clean.
(Gloria) They do when they've made a royal mess!
(laughing)
(Pickles) Don't forget to sweep the royal banana pile!
(Alex) I got it!
(laughing)
* It's a wild, wild world *
* And it's calling our name *
* It's a jungle out there *
* So let's get on our way *
* To have fun Through the tunnel *
* See the big, big city *
* Everybody get ready *
* Get ready! *
* Time to go a little wild *
* We could go a million miles *
* Can I get a "Hey, oh!" *
* Can I get a "Let's go!" *
* On a journey, all smiles *
* Time to go a little wild! **
(Alex) Uh?
Ta-da!
-(Marty) Woohoo! -(Gloria) Go, Alex!
(Alex) Thank you, thank you!
(Marty) Great show, my main mammal!
Come on over, we saved you some dumplings!
(Alex) Uh?
(Marty) Where are you going?
(Gloria) Yeah, what could be more important than dumplings?
(Alex) A rat!
(Melman) Um, Alex. This isn't the wild.
We eat takeout, not our friends.
(Alex) I'm not gonna eat Rocky, I just wanna...
Aha!
(Rocky) Ah...
Hello, mates.
(Gloria) Why are you hiding behind a bush?
(Marty) Wait a minute, you catalog
all the plants in the habitat, too?
(Rocky) Uh, no, actually,
I've been taking notes on Alex's shows.
(Alex) Well, my shows are noteworthy!
(Rocky) They are! Also because, you see...
I want to put on a show of my own!
(Gloria) Oh, awesome!
I've been hoping for another rocking Rocky rock concert!
(Rocky) Actually, this one'll be a little different.
More like, uh, why don't I just show you?
Follow me, to the tunnels!
We'll take the back way!
(all) There's a back way?
(Melman) Wait for me!
(gasp)
(Gloria) Wow!
(Riley) "But my cheese and I have come a long way.
Surely you have room for me and my..."
¿Cheese?
(Raphael) "Get away from me, foul rodent.
Or you will face my rat!" My wrath? Wrath.
(Rocky) I've written a musical!
It's all about My Great Grandma Myrtle,
who came to New York with nothing
but a block of cheese and a heart of gold.
I call it: RATS under Broadway!
(Alex) Wow! Your show is on Broadway?
(Rocky) Oh, uh, no, that's under Broadway.
(Riley) Oh, Broadway is the ultimate dream.
(Raphael) But for now, the show premieres tonight,
-right here in the tunnels! -(Marty) I didn't know you write musicals.
(Rocky) This is my first one. I'm an expert in rock n' roll...
(guitar plays)
...but when it comes to musicals, I don't know a thing.
That's why I've been studying Alex,
the king of showbiz!
-(Raphael) Yeah! -(Riley) You're the best!
(Alex) Oh, stop.
Unless you had more to say?
(Rocky) You're my inspiration.
In fact, if you...
No, never mind.
(Alex) No, no, tell me! If I, what?
(Rocky) I wonder if you could possibly,
maybe, perchance direct our show?
(Alex) You'd trust me to direct your very first musical?
About your great grandma Myrtle?
(Melman) You should do it, Alex! You'd be a great director...
-(Alex) Thanks! -(Melman) ...even though you have no experience
and know nothing about it!
(Alex) I wouldn't say I know nothing...
(Melman) Ok, I'll say it. You know nothing about it.
(Alex) Would you excuse us for a moment?
(Rocky) Sure.
(Alex) As a performer, I can't let them down here.
(Gloria) Acting and directing are different.
You'd be in charge of the entire show.
(Marty) And putting on a whole musical?
It sounds like it's pretty important to Rocky,
-ya sure you can handle it? -(Alex) Guys, I've got this.
I'm gonna make sure RATS best show ever!
Rocky! You've got yourself a director!
-(Rocky) Woohoo! -(Raphael) All right!
(Riley) You're the best!
(Alex) Now twirl to the left.
Now back to the right!
And... big finish!
(cheering)
(Rocky) Wow! If that's what you do with one rehearsal,
I can't wait to see how you bring the whole show to life!
(Alex) Well, I have done my share of dance routines.
They're kind of my forte.
(Rocky) With huge backdrops and a giant spotlight
and hundreds of fans in the audience, I bet!
(Riley) Can you imagine us?
On a real Broadway stage?
(Rocky) Great Grandma Myrtle always loved Broadway.
But for now, our humble tunnels will have to do.
(Alex) Maybe not!
All Broadway theaters are closed on Mondays,
so the cast and crew can get a break.
(Melman) Today is Monday!
(Alex) And the stages will be empty and human-free.
It's the perfect night
for an animals-only premiere of RATS On Broadway!
(Rocky) Ya mean RATS Under Broadway
would really be RATS On Broadway?
Oh, Alex. I can't thank you enough!
I knew you'd know how to bring my show to life!
(Raphael) Putting on an entire Broadway show
in a single day!
Who knew it could be done?
(Alex) Uh, your director, that's who!
We'll have this production up in lights by tomorrow!
(Melman) Today.
-(Rocky) Yeah! -(Raphael) Let's go!
(Marty) Broadway, here we come!
(Pickles) Not so fast!
(Melman) Pickles! Dave! But how did you...?
(Pickles) Thought you could skate by us
without paying a toll?
Tsk tsk tsk.
(Alex) How about two front row tickets
to RATS On Broadway?
(Pickles) Now that's more like it.
Do you know how many bananas we can get for these?
You may pass.
* Woa! Let's go find A little adventure *
* Let's make it A day to remember *
* Let's find something new We can explore *
* Ooh, explore *
* Let's go find A little adventure *
* Let's make it A day to remember *
* Let's charge Through every open door *
* Adventure's calling! **
(Gloria) Let's move!
(Alex) Welcome to Broadway!
It's practically my second home!
(Rats) Wow!
(Rocky) We've never been in a theater like this.
Mind giving us a tour?
(Alex) Sure! This is the house, that's the stage,
and backstage is this way.
(Marty) Uh... Alex? Backstage?
(Alex) I mean, that way!
This is what you call a "dressing room."
Actors use it to get ready before going onstage.
Royal mess!
(Riley) Do they usually keep
cleaning supplies in dressing rooms?
(Alex) Uh...
To the wings!
(Raphael) What are these ropes for, Alex?
(Alex) For, uh, swinging across the stage
when you want to shock the audience
with a surprise entrance!
(scream)
Uh... bet you were surprised!
(groan)
(Gloria) Alex, are you sure you can handle
being in charge of Rocky's show?
(Alex) Sure! I mean mostly, somewhat-ish.
I'll just keep pretending I know what I'm doing till I figure it out.
Y'know, fake it till I make it! Now, it's time to get to work.
My director's vision is telling me that...
Marty! You're in charge of music
and those big bright roundy things.
(Marty) Uh... lights?
(Alex) Sure. Remember,
when in doubt, go brighter and louder!
(Marty) If you say so.
-(Alex) Melman, you're on applause duty! -(Melman) Ay ay, captain!
(Alex) Gloria, would you be my assistant director?
You'll be my eyes and ears for the entire show!
(Gloria) Oh, I think I can handle that!
(Alex) Great. Okay, everybody! Let's do this!
Let's go over the big opening dance number.
Marty? Music!
(Marty) Ready!
(Rocky) Quite loud, isn't it?
(Alex) Yep! Just like the big city.
(Rocky) Apologies, you're the expert director.
I'll let you direct expertly.
(Alex) And I won't let you down!
* So many opportunities... **
(Alex) See, Gloria? I got this.
Great work, dancers! Next scene!
(Rat Dancer) Thanks! Don't you wanna see the whole thing?
(Alex) Uh, nope. Looked great to me!
-(Rat Dancer) What should we do now? -(Alex) Oh! Uh...
Just go backstage and keep practicing.
Practice makes perfect!
(Rat Dancer) Whatever you say, boss!
(Rocky) That's Lois. She's the narrator.
(Lois) Ahem.
"There once was a country rat named... uh..."
(Rocky) Myrtle.
(Lois) Right. "Myrtle.
Who landed in New York with nothing but a block of..."
Uh...
(Rocky) Cheese?
(Lois) "Cheese." I'm sorry, Rocky!
(Rocky) That's okay, Lois!
She's been having a hard time memorizing her lines.
Perhaps you have some tips for her?
(Alex) Tips? Of course your director has tips!
Just... take a nap! Using the script as a pillow!
The words will magically go into your head.
Oldest trick in the book.
(Lois) Wow! Thanks, Alex!
I'll take that nap right now.
(Gloria) You think that works?
(Alex) Sure! Doesn't everyone know that?
Next!
-(Dax) Hey! Hey, Alex! -(Alex) What can I do you for, Dax?
(Dax) I'm going to make a fake cheese prop
for the opening number.
How big do you want it?
(Alex) Fake? No fake cheese here.
I promised Rocky a real Broadway production,
and that includes real cheese.
Let's just use that big ol' hunk of Swiss from the tunnels.
(gasp)
(Gloria) Alex, that's Rocky's special family cheese, remember?
(Rocky) If Alex thinks we should use the family cheese,
then we should use the family cheese!
(Dax) Okay, Rocky, you're the boss...
(Rocky) No, Dax. In here, Alex is the boss!
(Gloria) Uh...
(Raphael) Uh, Alex! Got a second?
I'm nervous about playing the villain.
How should I talk? Or walk? Or breathe?
(Alex) Don't just act like you're a villain.
You must be the villain.
Mwahaha!
Method acting!
(Raphael) "Be the villain."
Thanks, Alex, you're amazing!
(evil laugh)
(Rocky) Ooh, Riley's up now. Come, Alex!
(Alex) Looking good, dancers!
(Rat Dancer) Still practicing, like you said!
(groan)
* To believe In one small thing **
(Rocky) Well?
(Alex) It sounds... perfect.
(Riley) Oh! Thank you, Alex!
But surely you have ideas to make it even better?
(Alex) Uh, well, try to sing as high as you can.
The best divas reach notes so high they can break glass!
(gasp)
(Riley) Wow. I did not know that.
-(Gloria) Yeah, me neither... -(Alex) Little known fact,
that's where the phrase "smash hit" comes from.
(Riley) Thanks, Alex!
I'll do whatever it takes to make my solo a smash!
(Gloria) Alex, maybe it's time to admit
you don't know what you're doing,
before things get out of control.
(Alex) How could they get out of control?
(Rat Dancer) I can't remember what I was supposed to do!
(Extra 1) What's the meaning of life?
(Dax) Where do you want the boxes?
(Extra 2) I don't know where the shoes are!
(Lois) Alex, I still don't know my lines!
(Extra 3) Have a tape measure? Do we need it?
(Rat Dancer) Our legs are getting tired...
(Dax) Are you sure you're sure about the real cheese, Alex?
(evil laugh)
(Raphael) Was that villainous enough? I don't think so.
(Alex) Uh... You're right. I've gotta tell them.
Everybody? Everybody!
There's something I have to say.
Wait, where's Rocky?
(Rocky) Alex!
I just heard through the ratvine:
Great Grandma Myrtle is coming all the way
from Vermont tonight!
She can't wait to see how we tell her story!
(cheering)
(Alex) Uhm...
(Rocky) I'm sorry, Alex, was I interrupting something?
(Alex) Oh. No, I was just going to say...
I've reserved a seat for Great Grandma Myrtle
right up front.
Because tonight's show is gonna be epic!
*
(humming)
*
(laugh)
*
Oh, boy.
(Marty) Did you know this many animals were coming to the show?
(Rocky) Thank you, Alex,
for bringing RATS On Broadway to life.
This is a dream come true, not just for me,
but for my Great Grandma Myrtle.
(Marty) Ready to get this show on the road?
-(Gloria) Woah! Alex! -(Rats) Yeah!
(Alex) All right, then! Places, everyone!
Lots of energy, dancers!
(cheering)
(Melman) Yeah! C'mon! You can do it! Go, go, go! Yeah!
* If you got big dreams *
* This is the place To make them come true *
* So many opportunities Waiting for you *
(groan)
(Marty) Alex, I think it's too bright.
(Alex) Nah, it's good. Turn up the music!
* You gonna make All these dreams *
* Then never sleep *
* This is the big land... *
(Rocky) Why do the dancers all look so tired?
(Melman) I don't remember this from rehearsal...
* This is the place to be *
* No other place I can compare **
(gasp)
(Melman) I definitely don't remember this
from rehearsal.
Bravo! Bravo! Bravo!
(screaming)
(Alex) Oh, no.
Hurry, get the narrator out there. Where is she?
Lois? Lois!
Never mind, Lois...
Riley! We're losing the audience.
I need you to go out there!
(Riley) But it's not my cue yet!
(Alex) Just cut to the big finish!
(gasp)
(Alex) Marty!
* Yeah **
Oh...
* Can I find the strength *
* To believe In one small thing... **
(Alex) What is she doing?
(scream)
(howling)
(screaming)
(heavy breathing)
(sigh)
(Riley) Technically that was a smash...
(Gloria) This is a disaster!
Alex, you gotta do something to save the show...
(Raphael) Don't worry, Alex. I know what to do.
(evil laugh)
(scream)
(evil laugh)
(Alex) Raphael! What are you doing?
(Raphael) Being the villain!
(evil laugh)
(scream)
(Ant'ney) Woo...
(screaming)
(Melman) Woo! Bravo!
Bravo, oh...
(Alex) Rocky! I know this looks bad, but I can fix it.
I know exactly--
(Rocky) I know what went wrong here, Alex.
You don't have to say another word.
Thank you for coming.
I didn't know anything about musical theater,
but I thought I could learn.
It's clear by what we've seen tonight
I was wrong.
Great Grandma Myrtle,
I am sorry for making a mockery of your story.
The show is cancelled
and I'm giving up theater for good.
(gasp)
(Alex) We can't cancel the show.
I'll fix this! I have all the...
(screaming)
(Alex) ...answers.
(sigh)
(Rocky) I'm sorry, Alex.
Not even an expert like you can save this show.
(moaning)
(Gloria) Maybe we should go over there and cheer him up.
(Marty) I dunno. Kinda seems like he needs some space.
(moaning)
(Melman) Maybe I can try clapping for him?
Oh, yeah!
*
(Marty) Where's that music coming from?
(Alex) Huh?
*
* How could I believe that *
* I could do this *
* I was a fool to think that *
* I would do anything But fail *
* Let everyone down by *
* I'm coming through, yeah *
* I made a mistake And my heart is aching now ***
(Gloria) Where are you going?
(Alex) To tell Rocky the truth.
*
(sobbing)
(Rocky) Oh, hello! What a nice surprise.
-(Gloria) Hiya. -(Marty) Hey, Rocky.
(Melman) What a wonderfully depressing song!
(Rocky) If I can't put on a musical,
at least I can still play my guitar.
Guess I should just stick to what I know.
(Alex) I've gotta tell you something.
(Rocky) You do? Oh, well, let's gather the gang!
(Alex) Uh, no, that's okay.
-(Rat 1) Hey! -(Rat 2) Hi!
(Riley) You rang, Rocky?
(Rocky) Shh. Shh. Everyone!
Alex has something really important
to tell all of us.
(gasp)
(Alex) Uh... okay.
It's my fault the show was a disaster.
(Rocky) No, Alex...
(Alex) I pretended I was an expert director.
I'm not.
(gasp)
All the things I said about acting, dancing,
singing, the cheese, I didn't know what I was doing,
but I was too embarrassed to admit it.
I didn't want to let you down.
You better find someone else to look up to,
because I'm the real reason your Broadway show was a bust.
(Rocky) I still look up to you, Alex.
I mean, you're kind of tall,
but, no animal has all the answers,
except maybe an octopus, they're highly intelligent.
You ever see one open a jar of peanut butter?
Besides, I didn't need a fancy Broadway premiere.
I just wanted to put on a show about New York, cheese,
and my Great Grandma Myrtle with help from my friends...
(Rats) Yeah!
(Rocky) And the great Alex.
(Alex) Well, if there's one thing I do know,
it's that the show must go on!
(Rats) Yeah!
(Rocky) But we can't go back to the theater.
(Alex) I say we premiere the show right here in the tunnels.
Only this time, I won't pretend to have all the answers.
Who's with me?
(cheering)
(both) Let's do this!
(cheering)
(Lois) Welcome to...
(Alex) Hit it!
(Lois) RATS Under Broadway...
in the tunnels!
* If you've got big dreams *
* This is the place To make them come true *
* So many opportunities Waiting for you **
*
(evil laugh)
(gasp)
(evil laugh)
* Never felt so small before *
* Like I might not make it *
* But some days The world's so big *
* It feels like I can't take it *
* Feels like I'm breaking *
* Like I'm mistaken *
* Can I find the strength *
* To believe In one small thing **
*
(cheering)
(Melman) Woohoo!
This is the best show ever, guys!
Rats! Rats! Rats!
(Alex) Woohoo! Encore! Yeah!
(cheering)
(Rocky) Congratulations, director!
Maybe you could make a show for your own species, next.
You could call it: Kitties!
(Alex) Hmm... I like that.
But only if you write the music.
(guitar plays)
(Rocky) Woohoo! Yeah.
(Ant'ney) And thus ends the tale of RATS on Broadway!
Until the sequel.
(evil laugh)
* Woa! Let's go find A little adventure *
* Let's make it A day to remember *
* Let's find something new We can explore *
* Ooh, explore *
* Let's go find A little adventure *
* Let's make it A day to remember *
* Let's charge Through every open door *
* Woa! *
* Adventure's calling! **