* Don't call us freaks of nature *
* We're more than sticks and stones *
* This life has more to offer *
* Than you'll find on your own *
* You haven't seen us lately *
* We're underestimated *
* We may look small and delicate *
* No, No, No, No, No! *
* We are the Mighty Ones! *
* Together we feel so strong *
* You better get to know us *
* We are the Mighty Ones! **
(Leaf) Ah, Berry, you gotta try this nutrient-rich plant food
I just found, man.
It'll make your plant veins bulge
and your plant skin glisten.
(Berry) Wow, this sounds amazing for plants and only plants.
I feel the planty nutrients pouring into my plant body.
(maniacal laughter)
(Rocksy) What are you guys doing?
(Leaf) Yah, it's just plant stuff. You wouldn't get it.
Oh!
Here comes the bulge!
(bulging)
Soil always comes through.
(laughing)
(Berry) It's amazing!
(Rocksy) Can I try it?
(Leaf) (awkward noise) Ooh, yeah,
it's kinda just for plants.
But, I mean, if you wanna...
(eating)
(Rocksy) Umm...
nothing's happening.
(Berry) I don't think it works for rocks.
(Eating)
Huh? Where'd the sun go?
(Rocksy) Is that a new tree?
(sigh)
(Twig) No. Still just small, insignificant Twig.
(Leaf) Dang. Well, at least you're a plant.
(Berry) Yeah! Have some plant nutrients for plants.
(Twig) Oh, thank you.
Oh! This is good!
Ah! Here comes that bark!
Ha-ha! Nice!
(Rocksy) Aw, lucky.
(Twig) Oh, hey, speaking of growth,
you know that dream I'm always having?
I had it again last night.
(Berry) What dream?
(Twig) My dream about becoming a glorious mighty oak tree.
I wake up one day a magnificent tree.
Hmm...
The envy of the other trees.
(Yard Tree) Woah! Looking good, wood!
(Twig) Why, thank you.
(drilling and screaming)
Huh,
that last part wasn't in the dream.
(Leaf) Uh, what dream was that?
(Twig) There's that sound again!
(carving)
(Kensington) There it is, loves.
Immortalized in tree bark forever.
Our final, official band name!
(Bats) That's what you said all those other times.
(Kensington) Yeah, but this is the one.
“Crabwallet!”
(Bats) If you say so.
I still liked “Fart Farmers.”
(Yard Tree) Ah! Ah! Ooh! Ah!
(Rocksy) What's going on Tree? Are you okay?
(Yard Tree) I'm great!
Check out my sweet new carve.
(all) Cool. Nice!
(Twig) Carve?
(Yard Tree) Isn't it sick?
It's one of the best parts about being a tree.
You're not a real tree until you get a sweet carve.
(Twig) Wow!
And you have so many!
(Leaf) You must be the realest tree ever.
(Yard Tree) If carves make you a real tree then,
uh, could be.
(all) Woah!
(Twig) Real tree, huh?
Well, then, I'm gonna get one too!
(Yard Tree) Oh, really? What are you gonna get?
(Twig) I dunno, whatever, I guess!
(Yard Tree) Nah, nah, now hold on. Be careful!
It needs to be something or someone really important
because it's gonna be part of you forever!
It's a decision you should agonize over for weeks.
(Twig) Someone important...
(excited)
(Twig) Oh! I'll get Leaf!
(Rocksy disappointed)
(Twig) And I know just where I'll get it.
(Leaf) Awww, thanks, man.
(Yard Tree) Eh. He didn't agonize over that at all.
(Rocksy) You didn't agonize over your carve.
Somebody just put it on you.
(Yard Tree) Huh? What's that? A bird?
(Twig) Oh!
(mumbling and grumbling)
(Twig) Must be getting close!
I'm getting my first carve!
(Stabbsy) Aw, I remember getting my first one...
(Twig) Ah, here we are.
Hello?
I'm looking for a sweet carve.
Are you the carve artist?
I'm here for a carve.
A little picture of my brother, methinks.
Oh!
Uh... So, uh, is this gonna hurt, or?
(drilling noises) (screaming)
Oh, the agony! Ah!
(Rocksy) It just feels like you guys have
this secret plant life that I'll never understand.
(Berry) Huh. Yah. Is this peat moss?
(Leaf) Peat moss is the best!
(Rocksy) It can't be all that great.
(Leaf) Whoa! I think I'm floating a little bit!
(Berry) I can see into the future!
(maniacal laughter)
Yeah!
(Rocksy) Brain powers? Aw, man, I want some of that.
(chewing)
I feel...
I feel
nothing.
Doesn't do anything for me. I'm over plant food.
(clears throat)
(Twig) Friends, I have something important to share.
As you know, my dream has always been
to become a glorious oak tree.
(Berry) What are you talking about?
(Leaf) Yeah, this is all news to me.
(Twig) I talk about it constantly!
Oh, nevermind. Here, look.
(Leaf) Dude! This is incredible!
(Twig) Yeah? You really like it?
(Berry) Twig, you look so tough.
(Leaf) It's amazing. How do you feel?
(Twig) Welp, uh, feel pretty confident, actually.
Yard Tree said carves make you a real tree.
And, uh, yeah, I'm feeling it!
Go ahead, get a closer look.
(Leaf) Ah. Plants are so cool.
Isn't it great that most of us are, like, plants?
(soft rock music)
(Berry) Cool! (Leaf) Rocking, bro!
(Twig) Hey, Rocksy. Whatcha ya doing?
(Rocksy) Skipping stones. Everyone else does.
I've been feeling so left out recently.
And then you got a carve of Leaf.
(Twig) Well, yah, but Leaf's a plant...
uh, my brother. Leaf's my brother.
(Rocksy) I always thought that since I don't have a family of my own,
you guys were my family.
(Twig) Hey. You know what?
I'm going to go and get a carve of you right now.
(Rocksy) Really? Aw, Twig, thank you!
(Twig) Hey, more carves can only make me more of a tree, right?
(screaming)
(carver) Hmm.
(drilling and screaming)
(relieved sigh)
(Twig) Aw! Thanks.
(Rocksy) Oh! Let me see it! Let me see it!
(Twig) I hope you like it.
(Rocksy) Mmm. Yeah. That's good.
(Twig) I'm getting carves of my family.
I mean, what's more tree-like than that?
Oh, hi, Berry...
(Berry) I'm family too!
And you're gonna need to make this one big,
or the details are gonna get lost.
(Twig) Uh.
Okay, but the last one's still fresh so maybe,
uh, go easy on me...
(screams)
(Rocksy) Did you design this? It's so intricate.
(Berry) Yeah. I got a little ambitious.
(exhales)
(Twig) Yeah, it feels ambitious.
(Rocksy) Do you feel like a real tree yet?
(Twig) Now that I have all my plant friends and Rocksy
carved into my body, I kinda do.
But I didn't realize becoming a tree would hurt so much.
(Leaf) Dude, what?
This is cool, man.
Wait. Hold up.
Now my carve is the smallest.
Doesn't your brother deserve the biggest carve?
(Twig) Uh, well, they just kinda keep getting bigger.
It wasn't on purpose, Leaf.
(Leaf) Well, I'm gonna need a bigger one.
(Twig) If it doesn't kill me it'll just make me
more of a tree, right?
(Ben the Stinkbug) Oh, shweet. You're getting carves now?
You gotta get one of me.
After all, I got one of you.
(Twig) Yeah, alright, Ben...
(Ricky) Hey, Twig. You gotta put us on your neck.
Just like, all in a row. Like this! That would be tight.
(Twig) Yeah, that does sound tight.
(Mr. Ladybüg mumbling)
(Twig) Oh, Ladybüg. Of course I'll get one of you.
(Pillbug) Get a carve of me, Twig!
(Twig) Okay, well, I mean, you're small,
so I think I can fit you in there.
(stretching)
(Pillbug) Yeah, you gotta get all of my beautiful legs!
(Twigh) Do I even know you?
(all) Come on, Twig!
Everyone should get one! Yeah, me too! Me too! Us first!
(Twig) Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah.
(Twig screaming)
(chewing)
(Berry) Uh, what's in this rock food?
(Leaf) I feel like it's tearing me apart
from the inside.
(Rocksy) It's jagged shards of silica!
It's really great, right?
(chewing)
(Twig) Uh. Guys?
(gasp)
(Twig) How do I look?
(Berry) Oh, Twig.
You look great! (Rocksy) Wow, yeah! (Leaf) So amazing!
(Rocksy) You're making me want to get a carve.
(Berry) Yeah, we should all get carves!
(Rocksy) Small ones.
(Leaf) Yeah, like, super small ones.
(Berry) Yeah, you wouldn't want to go too far with it...
(Leaf) How do you feel?
(Twig) Oh, how should I describe it?
I feel kind of exposed to the elements?
(Leaf) A little fresh air will help with that. Come on, let's play slapsies!
(Rocksy) You're it! (slap)
(laughing)
(Twig in pain)
(Twig) You guys go ahead.
II'll wait right here.
(slapping and laughing)
(sigh)
(crash) (Twig) Ah!
Huh? Oh. Hey, Yard Tree.
(Yard Tree) Huh? Oh, hey, what's up?
(Twig) Well, I took your advice and got some sweet carves.
Check me out, bro.
(Yard Tree) Wait, Twig? Is that you?
(Twig) Huh, didn't recognize me, did ya?
Now that I'm the realest tree around, huh?
(Yard Tree) You're right, I didn't. I mean, look at you.
You've given everyone else a piece of yourself,
but you're no closer to being a real tree
than you were when you started.
Carves are about finding yourself.
But where's Twig in all of this?
(Twig) Wow. What have I done?
(Yard Tree) You can't rush being a real tree, Twig.
Being a real tree isn't about pleasing others.
You gotta grow your own way.
You've been getting these carves for everyone else,
but what about you?
(Twig) You're so right.
I know what I have to do.
(Yard Tree) Good.
(Twig) I'm getting one last carve. For me!
(Yard Tree) Right. No! That's not what I meant!
(Twig) I know exactly what I'm gonna get!
(Yard Tree) I gotta be more careful about what I say.
(drilling noises) (Rocksy) Twig, what's going on?
(Leaf) We've been out there slapping for hours. Where were you?
(Twig) I'm getting the carve I should have gotten in the first place.
(Rocksy) What, like an even bigger one of me?
(Twig) What? No, you're not a plant.
I finally remember who I need to remember the most.
Me.
I had it all wrong.
I thought I could carve my way to being a real tree.
But growth takes time.
If I'm ever going to grow up,
I need to nurture my...
(poof)
(yodeling)
(Bats) Guys! You gotta come see this!
It's here. It's finally here.
(Samosa) What's here?
(Bats) It was on sale at House of Gnomes.
This one's called, El Repugnante.
(gasp)
(gnome voice) Don't tell mom.
(Samosa) Aw, right on, Bats.
(Bats) Punk rock is all about freaking out the normies.
(Kensington) Blimey, that sounds way more fun
than whatever we was doing.
(Demon) Who summons Blor-Ga-Thoth?
Hello?
I wonder if they've got anything to eat in the fridge.
(Bats) Now, to slap this baby down
and let the laughs roll in!
(Samosa) Nice.
(stoner laugh)
(Lindsay) This tree house is great, babe!
(Breht) I know! It has everything a baby needs.
A zen garden. An aromatherapy corner.
And of course, a sensory deprivation tank!
(Lindsay) Hey, where is the baby?
(Breht) Ah. Oops, heh, I almost forgot.
And, there, just enjoy the healing scents.
(baby cough)
(Lindsay) You really did a great job on this, Breht.
Shall we take in the view?
(Breht) Aw. Look. A squirrel.
(squirrel chitters)
(gasp)
(gnome voice) Holy guacamole.
(Lindsay) Where would you even get something so foul?
(Breht) House of Gnome. Huh.
I thought they discontinued El Repugnante.
(Lindsay) What if the baby sees it?
Babies are very impressionable. Get rid of it!
(voice) Yeah!
(Lindsay) Breht!
(Breht) I'll take care of it, Linds.
(Rocksy) Ugh. Where are we going, again?
My little legs are tired.
(Leaf) We're going to my favorite nice time spot.
Now, the nicest thing about this spot has got to be...
Huh? Guh!
(gnome voice) Who's in trouble now?
(gasp) (Twig) Oh my!
(Rocksy faints)
(gasp)
(Berry) I love it.
(Rocksy) Wa, wa... No, no, no, no.
Who would create something so horrible?
(gagging)
The yard is no place for this kind of nastiness!
(Berry) Oh, come on, don't be a bebe,
just look at it.
(Rocksy) No.
(Berry) Look at it. (Rocksy) No, no, no!
(Berry) Look. At. It. (Rocksy) No!
(struggle)
(Berry) It's great, you just gotta chill.
Right, Leaf?
(Leaf) Eh, I'm with Rocksy.
I mean, I'm cool, you all know that,
but this thing is giving off harsh vibes.
This is supposed to be the spot for nice times,
not the spot for whatever that is.
I'm sure Twig agrees.
(Twig) Well, I agree that it's disgusting,
abhorrent, scandalous, etc.,
but it's also art.
I respect it, even if it makes me feel...
very strange.
(Rocksy) Wow, Twig.
So you're saying you condone what the gnome is doing?
(Leaf) I thought I knew you, bro.
I had no idea you were like that.
(Twig) What? No.
I'm just saying it's art and, no, I don't condone it, but I...
(Berry) I condone it, who cares? I'm not a cop.
(Rocksy) C'mon, Leaf.
If we move it behind that grass
we'll cover the extra bad parts.
(pushing)
(Rocksy) We need to think bigger.
You know what I'm thinking? (Leaf) Foil!
(Rocksy) Woah! How did you know?
(Leaf) Because it's in your hands already.
(Rocksy) Oh, yeah. I'm going to protect the yard!
(Leaf) What she said!
(Rocksy) Hey! (Leaf) Hoo-wah!
(Rocksy) And the yard is safe again.
(Leaf) Guess our work here is done.
(Berry) Citizens of the yard!
(Twig) Thank you for joining us as we unveil
a provocative new piece of art!
(Berry) Marvel and behold, as we present to you,
the incredible, the stupendous,
the amazing,
Gnome!
(Rocksy) No! Wait, stop! The foiled version is art too!
(Berry) It's derivative work,
not transformative enough to stand on its own.
Now, excuse me.
(both) No!
(gnome voice) Take a picture, it'll last longer.
(Carder) Oh! (Rabbit) Gasp!
(Mr. Ladybüg gasps)
(Carder) You know, it's pretty impressive,
if cheeky.
(all) Yeah! Cheeky!
(Rabbit) No, it's abominable!
How could you celebrate a figurine
so beyond the bounds of good prudence.
(all) Yeah! Prudence!
(Carder) Well, good thing everyone who likes it
is standing over here.
(Rabbit) And equally good everyone who loathes it
is standing over here!
(crowd yelling)
(Leaf) Well what do we do now?
Seems like everybody's already made up their mind.
(Ben the stinkbug) Hey guys, what's all the hubbub?
(murmers) Wow Ben! Famous art critic. It's Ben!
(Rocksy) Whaddya think, Ben?
(Ben the stinkbug) Hmmm...
Hmmm...
Mhmmm-mhmmm...
Mmm...
(Rocksy) Okay, Ben we don't have all day.
(Ben the stinkbug) I think whatever you think.
(Rocksy) Berry, why don't you go first?
(Berry) Wow, thanks, sure, I will.
Well, you see, Ben, it's all very complex.
I like this part. And this part. And this part.
Oh! And this part.
(gasp)
Well if you think that's zesty, wait til you...
(scream)
(Rocksy) How's that for zesty?
(laughs)
Boom. Got ‘em.
(Twig) What do we do?
(ants eating)
(Twig) Let's high-five like they did earlier!
(Berry) Okay!
(dismissive laughter)
(Rocksy) Oh, you two think you've won.
That's cute.
We tried to politely cover it up,
but I guess we have no choice.
Leaf!
(Leaf) One giant machine cannon, coming right up.
(maniacal laughter)
(Rocksy) Load ‘em up, Leaf.
(Leaf) Word.
(Berry) No!
(groaning)
I'm okay.
(Twig) Will you two give it up already?
(both) That gnome's got to go.
That gnome's got to go.
(Leaf) Alright, now!
(both) That gnome's got to go!
(Leaf) C'mon! (both) That gnome's got to go!
(Rocksy) Oh, who's gotta go?
(both) That gnome!
(Twig) The gnome is valid.
(Berry) Yeah, valid.
(Rabbit) Hey, now we wanna quarrel too.
(Carder) Yeah.
(everyone shouting)
(Breht) Hey, babe. Ha!
Problem solved.
(Lindsay) Oh good, now we can deprive our child of vitamin D.
(Breht) We cou...
(Lindsay) Don't you dare say
"we could get a sunlight therapy lamp"
because you know we're keeping the baby away
from ambient electronic waves.
-(Breht) I do know. -(Lindsay) So find another way.
(angry shouting and fighting)
(Twig) Everyone, stop!
(quiets down)
Fellows, let us not quarrel.
But instead, think deeper.
This gnome may be somewhat shocking,
confrontational even,
but is it really so different
from other pieces of so-called "acceptable" art
here in the yard?
(Rocksy) Yes!
(Twig) Are we not all familiar with
“Pathos's Kneeling Surrender”.
(crowd) Oh I love that one.
(Berry) Or “Peek-a-Boo Number Twenty- Three”,
which represents fruitkind's struggle
with conformity.
(crowd) No way! Very impressive stuff.
(Twig) And who could forget The Butt Pits.
(crowd) Now that is a piece that sings to me.
(Rocksy) I do like The Butt Pits.
(Twig) Sure, it's different.
But, I dunno, I suppose I believe
some art should be different, y'know?
Some art should be challenging, y'know?
So let us stop quarreling about if this is art,
and just be amazed that this art is!
Thank you.
(crowd chattering)
(Berry) Look. Check it out.
(Twig) They're talking to each other.
(Rabbit) Interesting.
We have reached an agreement.
(clears throat)
Your speech was feckless,
scurrile and opprobrious!
(gasp)
(Twig) Does that mean good?
(Ricky buzz) It means your speech was superwack, yo.
(gasp)
(Rabbit) Now please continue fighting
for our entertainment.
(Rocksy) Gladly.
I'm gonna keep escalating this fight
until I am victorious.
Behold!
(Berry) That's actually a lot less impressive
than the last thing you made.
(Rocksy) I'm still taking that gnome down myself.
(Berry) Never!
I will not let you censor art just because you don't like it.
(Rocksy) I wonder what's harder, Berry.
You or me.
(Berry) I dare you.
(Rocksy) I'm gonna do it.
(Berry) Go ahead and do it.
(both screaming)
(both) Huh?
(slow motion screams)
(Breht) Boo-yah! Ha! Great news, babe. I got it!
(coughing)
(gasp)
(Berry) Oh no. It's, it's gone.
No!
I loved that gnome more than I love any of you!
(sobs)
(Twig) There, there, Berry. We must be stro...
(sobs)
(Rocksy) We won, but I feel... not great.
(Leaf) Because we didn't get to smash it ourselves, right?
(Rocksy) Yeah...
But also, the gnome gave us something
to feel and care about.
It gave me a reason to feel morally superior.
I guess it did have value.
(crying)
(Berry) If only the gnome were here
to see us be proven right.
(Carder) What will entertain us now?
We still have, like, a minute left in the episode.
(Rocksy) Hmm. I know what we should do.
We are gathered here today to celebrate the life
of a divisive gnome.
Loved by some. Misunderstood by others.
Now, missed by all.
(soft sobbing)
(Leaf) I was wrong.
You taught me so much.
(smooch)
(Rabbit) Farewell.
(breaks into sobs)
(Carder) Thank you, gnome, for all you taught us.
May you offend up in the great beyond.
(crying)
(Ben the stinkbug) Well, I don't really remember
what I was doing here.
Hey, this piece kinda looks like me...
(pushed and screaming)
(Berry) Don't make this about you, Ben.
(humming)
(Bats) Aw, what?
Heh. Luckily I was prepared for this moment.
You know what they say about Cheeky Gnomes:
buy two!
Here come the neighbors!
(sigh)
(Lindsay) I'm so happy you dealt with that gnome, babe.
(Breht) Thanks, I am brave.
(gasp)
Oh my gosh, did you see...
(Lindsay) I almost looked directly at it.
(baby babble)
(both) The baby!
No!
(gnome voice) That's nice. Real nice.
(music)