(everybody grunting)
(Leaf sneezing)
(everybody screaming)
*
* One, two! *
* Don't call us Freaks of nature *
* We're more than sticks And stones *
* This life has more to offer Than you find on your own *
* You haven't seen us lately *
* We're underestimated *
* We may look small And delicate *
* No, no, no, no, no *
* We are The Mighty Ones *
* Together we feel so strong *
* You better get to know us *
* We are The Mighty Ones! **
(whistling)
(bang)
(gasp)
(Berry) No...
(sighs)
(Rocksy) Everything's perfect right now, huh?
(Leaf) Immaculate vibes.
(Rocksy) Clear skies.
(Twig) Full bellies.
(Leaf) Can't complain.
(sighs)
(screams)
(Twig) Uh, everything okay, Berry?
(Leaf) Yeah, you good, Ber?
(Berry) It's the... Second Great Clam Invasion!
(Twig) The clams?
(Rocksy) They're back?
(screams)
(Rocksy) What do we do?
(Berry) Run for your lives!
(Leaf) You'll never take us alive, clams!
(Berry) Run!
(Rocksy) Where are you going, Berry?
What is that?
(Berry) It's nothing, don't worry about it!
(Twig) Berry, no wait! Let us in!
Let us in! Let us in! Let us in! Berry!
(Berry) Stop!
This is my bunker. Find your own!
(Leaf) Berry, please! I'm too young and hot to die.
(Rocksy) Have a heart, Berry!
(Twig) They'll be here any second!
(weird noises)
(Rocksy) Berry!
(Berry) Uh! Fine!
*
(Leaf) Uh, kinda tight quarters, Ber.
(Rocksy) Uh, cozy. Let's call it cozy.
(Twig) I mean, it's not like we'll be here long.
We'll wait a few days for the invasion to pass
and then go back to our everyday lives.
(Berry laughing)
(Berry) Oh, man. That's good.
(Twig) Is something funny?
(Berry) No. It's just, we're not leaving for a long time.
(Leaf) Seriously?
(Rocksy) How long do you think it'll be?
(Berry) If we ever leave it'll be when the clams find our bunker,
pluck us out, douse us in clam juice,
and pickle us alive!
(Leaf) That's pretty jacked up.
(Berry) Morale is low.
This calls for a rousing song.
(clears her throat)
* It's time to accept our fate *
* We're stuck in here forever *
* Say goodbye to the sky *
* And hello to the infinite darkness *
* We can never leave... *
* Smiles fade and our hearts all break *
* Joy is fake! **
(scream)
(Twig) Uh, maybe we could just try silence for a bit.
(Berry) You're the boss.
Just so you know though, bunker silence is a whole other beast.
(Twig) Hush!
Ah, beautiful silence.
Silence, silence, silence, silence...
(squealing)
(bang)
Uh...
(bangs)
(rumbling)
(roar)
(scream)
Okay! No more bunker silence, please.
Please! Never again!
(Berry) Alright, smart guy,
then what should we do?
(Leaf) As long as there's no more songs...
(Rocksy) Woah! Mr. Rude.
(Leaf) Uh, sorry, I'm a diva when I'm hungry.
(rumbling)
(Rocksy) Oh, too bad we don't have any food.
(Berry) Yeah.
Oh, except for this pretzel stick.
(gasps)
(Rocksy) Berry! When were you going to tell us?
(Berry) Ha! When were you going to ask?
(Leaf) Bro, what the heck, Berry?
(Twig) Why wouldn't you just tell us?
(Leaf) Oh, yeah, yeah. Not mad anymore.
(Twig) I'm still mad.
Oh, yeah, that's the good stuff.
(Leaf) Where do we think pretzel sticks land on the pretzel hierarchy?
(Twig) Hmm.
Well, don't get me wrong, any pretzel is amazing,
but pretzel sticks?
Might be at the bottom.
*
(applause)
(cheering)
(Berry) At the bottom?
Sorry for sharing my stick with you, guys.
(Rocksy) Oh, Berry, come on.
You're not going to pretend like they stand a chance against pretzelitos.
(Leaf) Oh, pretzelitos!
Now that's a solid, level two pretzel.
(Berry) I'm not going to argue with you there.
(Twig) Oh! Oh! Tied with peanut butter pretzels!
(applause)
(whistle)
(Leaf) The inclusion of another ingredient
puts peanut butter pretzels in a different genre of snack,
and is therefore ineligible.
(booing)
(Leaf) Sorry, little guy.
(Twig) Hmm. Fair enough.
(Rocksy) We all know what number one is though.
(Leaf) You don't mean...
(Rocksy, Leaf, Twig) The elusive, giant,
soft, mall pretzel!
*
(cheering)
(Berry) Mall pretzel?
Never heard of that.
(Rocksy) Are you serious?
(Leaf) Oh, you got to try it one day.
(Twig) Yeah, if things ever go back to normal.
(Berry) Well, maybe we should all try and get some sleep?
(Rocksy) Yeah, Berry's right. Good night, everyone.
(snoring)
*
(Twig) So, this is all we have left?
(Berry) Yeah.
Until the clam invasion's over.
(Rocksy) Uh, I'll cut it up.
*
(Leaf) Ew, Rocksy. What?
(Rocksy) Have at it.
*
* Oh, life is cruel *
* Yeah, it's a big mistake **
(Berry) Hey, hey, uh, what do you think of the new verse?
(moan)
Ew!
Well, I thought it was pretty good.
(Rocksy) What's got you in such a chipper mood, Berry?
I haven't heard this belly growl in days.
(Berry) Oh, Rocksy!
You really got to stop with the nail.
(Rocksy) Well, I don't know if everyone feels that way.
(Leaf) It's got to go, Rocksy. It's got to go.
(Rocksy) Okay, fine.
(moaning)
But, Berry, how are you not wasting away
like the rest of us?
(Berry) Well, because, Rocksy, survival's all about the mind.
I mean you're the one who taught me about looking
on the bright side.
(Rocksy) Huh.
You're saying a positive outlook will literally
keep me from starving?
(snoring)
Oh. You're lucky you're a cute sleeper.
You awake, Berry?
Berry?
How are you this asleep?
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Berry! No!
Huh?
I don't remember Berry having flowers for limbs.
(chewing)
Huh?
What's that?
A secret hole.
How did I miss this?
(gasp)
(chewing)
(Berry) Ah! You are dreaming!
(Rocksy) You had a second bunker this entire time?
Oh, you better hope I'm dreaming!
(Berry) Rocksy, be quiet! It's not a big deal.
(Rocksy) You betrayed us, Berry!
(gasp)
Is that a...?
(Berry) Pretzelito.
That's a level two pretzel.
(cheering)
(Rocksy) Muy delicioso.
(Berry) Rocksy, I've been keeping this bunker
and its numerous supplies secret out of love for my friends.
If I were to cut into these supplies
every time a belly growled,
it'd all be gone before you knew it!
It's not like my supplies back here are infinite.
(Rocksy) Yeah, but there's definitely a lot.
(Berry) Please, Rocksy, keep it a secret.
I'll make it worth your while.
(Rocksy) Pretzelito!
(gasp)
(chewing)
Okay, if you're sure.
(Berry) Yeah! I'm sure! Okay, quick, before they wake up.
(Twig) Huh...
(Rocksy) What are you counting there, buddy? Days? Weeks?
(Twig) These are all the pretzel sticks I've eaten in my dreams.
(Rocksy) Oh, that's nice.
Berry, we have to tell them.
(Berry) No! We agreed!
(Rocksy) I mean look at them, Berry.
Look at them!
(moaning)
(Leaf) Give me those dream pretzels!
(moaning)
(Berry) See? They've got dinner plans!
(Rocksy) That is not dinner.
We both know that dinner should be zesty and delicious.
Like a pretzelito.
(Berry) Rocksy, We're keeping the second full-of-food bunker
a secret and that's final!
(Leaf and Twig) The what?
(moaning)
(Leaf) What is this place?
(Twig) Are those...?
What?
(Leaf) It can't be. Pretzelitos?
(Twig) That's a level two pretzel.
(Berry) No! They'll eat everything at once!
(chewing)
First, we'll run out of supplies,
and then we'll have to resort to cannibalism!
And then I'll have to live with the fact that I ate you, guys!
(Leaf) Rocks?
(Rocksy) No, I just ate. It's all you, buddy.
(Leaf) I think I've had enough.
(Twig) Yeah. I'll go save this for later.
(Berry) Wait a sec.
You didn't take more than you need?
(Leaf) Of course not, bro!
We got to wait out the clam invasion, don't we?
(Twig) Yeah, survival's all about the mind, Berry.
(Berry) Wow!
I really learned an important lesson today
about trusting my friends.
(sigh)
(Leaf) Man, oh, man, with these swank digs.
I don't even want the Second Great Clam Invasion to end.
(Twig) Ha! Tell me about it!
Take your time out there, clam-o's! We're good!
(Rocksy) We have years worth of pretzels in here!
See, Berry?
Berry?
(laugh)
(Berry) There's no clam invasion, you fools!
(laugh)
Now come to momma you elusive, giant, soft, mall pretzel!
(moaning)
(sigh)
It's all mine!
(laugh)
(chewing)
(laugh)
So beautiful!
(Rocksy) Hello? Berry?
(sigh)
(Shelly) I just don't understand it.
How can one muse contain so much beauty?
(Berry) Hey, Shelly!
*
(Leaf and Rocksy) What are you doing?
(Shelly) Oh, uh, well, I'm painting Matilda
to commemorate her special day!
(Rocksy) Sounds great.
So, can Matilda give us some of her super-acid vomit?
We wanted to do an experiment to see if it would melt Ben.
(giggling)
I say, yes!
(Berry) I also say yes, but I think it'll take a minute.
(Rocksy) No, it'll melt him instantly!
(Berry) It'll take a minute!
(Rocksy) Instantly!
(Ben) I love science.
(Shelly) Sorry y'all,
but I don't think Matilda's up to participating
in any science experiments today.
(moaning)
(Rocksy) Why not? What's wrong with her?
(Shelly) Well, today just so happens to be Matilda's birth-day.
(everybody) Matilda's birthday?
(Rocksy) I love birthdays!
(Leaf) So, when's the party?
(Shelly) Party?
Matilda just wants to left be alone.
(moaning)
(burp)
There's not going to be any party.
(Everybody) No party?
(Rocksy) But if there's no party then what am I going to do with all this pocket confetti?
(Shelly) Oh! Oh, man! Oh! Oh! That really stings!
(Rocksy) Oh, it's a shame Matilda doesn't want a party.
(Leaf) Wait a minute.
Is it just me, or is Shelly winking?
Perhaps there's a secret message to be deciphered here.
(Shelly) I just, oh...
(Rocksy) Maybe she does want us to have a party for Matilda,
but she wants it to be a surprise party!
(Berry) Oh! Yeah! We can get a cool DJ!
(Rocksy) Oh! Oh! And a clown!
(Twig) I can finally wear that cummerbund I bought!
(Leaf) Yeah! And therapeutic mud baths!
(Rocksy) Huh.
I feel like we all have really different party ideas.
Maybe we should each have our own surprise party for Matilda.
I mean, four parties is better than one!
(everybody) Hooray!
For Matilda!
(Rocksy) Now, remember, it's not a competition.
(Leaf) Exactly.
May the best party win.
(Shelly) Oh, Matilda!
This truly is a masterpiece.
(babble)
(Rocksy) It's an emergency!
(Shelly) Ah!
What's wrong?
(Rocksy) A giant block of cheese fell on Twig and it's suffocating him!
Come on, we got to save him!
(Shelly) Oh, my gosh!
Poor Twig!
(babble)
(heavy breathing)
(Shelly) Wait, slow down! Where did she go?
-(Rocksy) Surprise! -(Shelly) Ah!
(Rocksy) Happy birthday, Matilda!
I wasn't sure how old you were, so I basically just re-purposed a toddler's party!
*
(Shelly) Oh, wow!
What do you think, Matilda?
(babble)
You know, it's fitting that it's a kid's birthday party, because...
(Rocksy) Hold on! I haven't shown you the best part!
Ladies! Gentlemen! And assorted toddlers!
Please, give a warm Yard welcome to tonight's entertainment.
(Dr. Clod) Oh! Oopsie-doodles! It's showtime!
(applause)
Hi there, folks! My name is Dr. Clod!
Oh! Or should I say, Dr. Clown!
(laugh)
(kids laughing)
(Rocksy) Woo! Yeah!
(Dr. Clod) That's right, kids,
I may be a mildly competent doctor,
but I'm an even better clown!
Oops!
(moan)
(laugh)
(cheering)
So, where's the birthday girl?
(Rocksy) Right here, clown man!
Woo!
(Dr. Clod) You know what that means, right?
Lemon-pie-to-the-face!
(Shelly) Actually, Matilda is extremely allergic to...
(kids gasping)
Lemons.
(moaning)
(crying)
(Dr. Clod) Uh, who wants to see a surgery?
(screams)
(Rocksy) Woo, yeah! Now it's a party!
(Shelly) I'm sorry, but I really think I should take her home.
I need to get her somewhere quiet before she...
(Berry) Guys! You got to come quick! Twig's in trouble!
He finally pushed the bees too far,
and now they're stinging him everywhere!
(Shelly) Oh, my gosh!
(Berry) Twig!
(heavy breathing)
(Shelly) Berry? Hello?
Where'd you go? Is Twig okay?
Where are the bees?
(Berry) Did somebody say...
Beats?!
(Shelly) What? No, I said...
*
(Berry) What's up, party people?
We're here to celebrate a very important individual.
Matilda!
(Shelly) I feel like this is going to get
a little overwhelming for Matilda.
(Berry) Oh, I'll tell you what's overwhelming!
This laser light show!
(Crowd) Ooh-ah!
(Shelly) What do you think, Matilda?
(moaning)
(laughs)
(Ben) Ooh-ah! Ooh-ah!
(Shelly) Matilda!
Oh, no! We've got to get Matilda out of here!
(Rocksy) What? Why?
(sobbing)
(Shelly) Well, I mean, it's very clearly too much for her.
(Berry) New track! New track!
* Berry's party's awesome!
* Berry's party's awesome! *
* And Rocksy's party stinks **
(Rocksy) What?
(Shelly) We need to help Matilda!
She can't handle all this!
(Crowd) Ah! Acid!
(Ben) Yeah! Oh!
-(Berry) Oh! -(Rocksy) Eh?
(Ben) Ooh-ah! Ooh-ah!
(Rocksy) Oh, come on.
(Leaf) Guys! Guys!
You got to come quick. It's Twig!
I told him not to eat all those firecrackers,
but he just wouldn't listen!
(Shelly) Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Is Twig actually in danger,
or is this another trick to get us to a surprise party?
(Leaf) What? How dare you! Twig is my brother!
Do you really think I would be so petty
as to lie about something this serious?
Surprise! I would.
Yeah!
Welcome to the best birthday party of your life, Matilda.
Enjoy rejuvenating massages,
therapeutic meditation,
or some nice acupuncture
from one of our trained relaxation specialists.
(fart)
(Berry) Oh, this party is awful!
(coughing)
(Leaf) Oh, really?
Well, it looks like the birthday girl seems to like it.
(smell)
(sigh)
(babble)
(Shelly) Now, this is definitely a better environment for Matilda,
but we need to be extra, super, careful
we keep any steams at a low temperature
so Matilda's skin doesn't start to get too agitated.
Also, we're going to need to make sure that...
(Berry) Hey, is it me, or is Shelly being a total buzzkill?
(Leaf) Don't worry, I have an idea.
(Shelly) ...a sensory deprivation tank?
(Leaf) Yeah!
Super relaxing where your only companions
are the voices inside your mind.
(Shelly) Hey, wait a minute...
(Leaf) There, now Matilda can have some real fun!
Say, where is she anyways?
(screams)
(everybody) Matilda!
(Berry) Well, it's official.
Your party is so lame it killed Matilda.
(Leaf) Dude, we don't know the party was to blame, okay?
She could've been dead when she walked into that pool.
(Twig) So, where's the birthday girl?
There she is!
Birthday... Oh, what did Leaf do?
(Leaf) What? Why does everybody immediately jump to blaming me?
(Shelly) Hey, where'd Matilda go?
(Berry) Oh, jeez...
Beef it!
(Shelly) Hey, wait up!
(heavy breathing)
(Rocksy) What are we going to do?
We can't let Shelly see Matilda's dead!
(heavy breathing)
(Twig) We can hide out at my party!
After all, it is the fanciest soiree in town!
(Rocksy) Focus, Twig. We are hiding a body.
*
Wow!
Really is the fanciest soiree in town...
(Fancy Bug) And I simply told Reginald,
"No, not my bug hole, my..."
(Shelly) Excuse me,
have you happened to see a big worm?
Might kind of smell like vomit?
(Fancy Bug) Oh, you must mean Madame Matilda!
I'd say, she's the life of the party!
(Crowd) Wonderful!
(indistinct conversations)
(Shelly) Oh, boy.
(Rocksy) Twig, move her arm!
(Twig) I'm trying to, but she's just so heavy!
(Fancy Bug 2) Huzzah, Matilda, you're such a card!
(Twig) Yeah, and I'm definitely alive!
(Fancy Bug 2) That you are!
(Shelly) You guys need to listen to me, Matilda isn't dead.
(Leaf) Dead? What? Of course she's not, dead!
How can she be dead when she's dancing?
Look!
*
(Crowd) Bravo!
(Shelly) Leaf, she's fine!
(Leaf) Yeah, yeah, I know, I know she's fine.
Uh, uh, watch this!
(Fancy Bug 3) Well, I hope they have more punch...
(Berry) Look what we've done to this poor heap of a worm.
How could we have let this happen?
(Leaf) Our stupid little competition got out of hand.
And Matilda paid the ultimate price.
(Berry) What does it all matter in the end?
I mean, who cares if my party was a million times
cooler than Rocksy's?
(Rocksy) What?
(Twig) Goodnight, sweet Matilda.
You were too good for this world.
(sigh)
(Shelly) You guys are really, really, really not good listeners, huh?
(Twig) How dare you!
Wait. What do you mean?
(Shelly) I told you, guys! It's Matilda's birth-day!
(Berry and Rocksy) Oh.
(Rocksy) Like the day where she actually gives birth.
Huh. Yah, I get it now. Yeah, mm-hm.
(Crowd) I don't care for children!
(screams)
(Twig) Ah! The beauty of childbirth.
(Rocksy) I feel like I sure learned a lot today.
But, there's one mystery that's still bothering me...
(Ben) Hey, guys, cool party, huh?
(Berry and Rocksy) Ah, science!
*