1 00:00:04,091 --> 00:00:04,308 . 2 00:00:04,352 --> 00:00:06,789 - It wouldn't be enough to cover the entire recall, 3 00:00:06,832 --> 00:00:07,920 but we could stop using the corporate jets 4 00:00:07,964 --> 00:00:09,531 for non-company business. 5 00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:10,880 - We do that now? 6 00:00:10,923 --> 00:00:13,665 - Well, some people take "market research" trips 7 00:00:13,709 --> 00:00:14,971 to every Mardi Gras. 8 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,060 - Uh, bullying? Anyone want to step in here? 9 00:00:17,104 --> 00:00:18,583 - Mm-mm. 10 00:00:18,627 --> 00:00:19,671 - Couldn't we just charge, like, 50 bucks more a car? 11 00:00:19,715 --> 00:00:20,759 No one would notice. 12 00:00:20,803 --> 00:00:21,934 - Yes, people famously don't haggle 13 00:00:21,978 --> 00:00:23,501 over the prices of their cars. 14 00:00:23,545 --> 00:00:24,502 - None of that is big enough. 15 00:00:24,546 --> 00:00:26,287 We have been at this for hours, 16 00:00:26,330 --> 00:00:28,332 and all we've decided is where to order lunch. 17 00:00:28,376 --> 00:00:29,899 - We should have spent more time on that. 18 00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,074 This sandwich dry as hell. 19 00:00:31,118 --> 00:00:32,467 - Look, I hate to be the one to say it, 20 00:00:32,509 --> 00:00:34,469 but we all know what needs to be done. 21 00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:36,906 We have to close a factory. [all grumbling] 22 00:00:36,949 --> 00:00:38,603 I said I hate to say it, all right? 23 00:00:38,647 --> 00:00:39,691 That absolves me. 24 00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:40,910 - I really don't want to do that. 25 00:00:40,953 --> 00:00:42,129 - None of us do, but sometimes 26 00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:43,739 you have to cut off the hand to save the arm. 27 00:00:43,782 --> 00:00:45,088 - Ah, like zombies. 28 00:00:45,132 --> 00:00:46,307 - Why are factory workers always the first ones 29 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,525 on the chopping block? - Mm. 30 00:00:47,569 --> 00:00:48,744 - Nothing ever seems to touch the people 31 00:00:48,787 --> 00:00:50,006 with the cushy office jobs. 32 00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:51,703 - You know what? That is not a bad point. 33 00:00:51,747 --> 00:00:53,270 I mean, it'd be a bloodbath up here, 34 00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,272 but downsizing executives would get us a lot more savings 35 00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:56,534 with fewer bodies. 36 00:00:56,578 --> 00:00:57,535 - No, I wasn't suggesting that we actually-- 37 00:00:57,579 --> 00:00:58,754 - You know, I hate to say it, 38 00:00:58,797 --> 00:01:00,147 but we wouldn't have to cut production 39 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,800 if we went with Jack's Red Wedding thing. 40 00:01:01,844 --> 00:01:03,106 - Okay, Red Wedding is not what I was actually saying. 41 00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,367 - We shouldn't fire anyone. - Exactly. 42 00:01:04,412 --> 00:01:05,674 - But if we have to, 43 00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:07,154 we would get less blowback with Jack's idea. 44 00:01:07,197 --> 00:01:08,372 - And then we could loosen restrictions 45 00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:09,460 on the corporate jet, right? 46 00:01:09,504 --> 00:01:11,027 - What is wrong with you, Wesley? 47 00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:12,898 These people 'bout to be homeless and lose their jobs, 48 00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,551 and you're worried about seeing boobs for free? 49 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:17,207 - It's not free. It's like a barter economy. 50 00:01:17,251 --> 00:01:18,426 - Okay, fine. We'll go with Jack's idea. 51 00:01:18,469 --> 00:01:19,731 Let' start with every department, 52 00:01:19,775 --> 00:01:20,863 letting one executive go, 53 00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:22,256 and then we'll reassess from there. 54 00:01:22,299 --> 00:01:25,128 - Oh, God. They have no idea what's coming. 55 00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:26,390 - Stop staring. You're making it obvious. 56 00:01:26,434 --> 00:01:27,521 Pretend I said something inspiring. 57 00:01:27,565 --> 00:01:29,654 Clap, clap, clap, clap. - Oh, bravo. 58 00:01:29,698 --> 00:01:31,265 But wait, wait, wait, no, no, no, no. 59 00:01:31,308 --> 00:01:33,527 It looks like we decided to fire them and then applauded. 60 00:01:33,571 --> 00:01:34,616 - Just close the blinds; close the blinds. 61 00:01:34,658 --> 00:01:36,096 - Yes. On it. Closing the blinds. 62 00:01:36,139 --> 00:01:37,401 [upbeat music] 63 00:01:37,445 --> 00:01:38,924 - ♪ Bom bom bom-bom-bom-bom-bom ♪ 64 00:01:38,968 --> 00:01:41,449 ♪ Buh buh bom-bom-bom buh bom-bom-bom-bom ♪ 65 00:01:41,491 --> 00:01:44,408 [chorus vocalizing] 66 00:01:44,452 --> 00:01:46,715 - I mean, Ros is a cancer survivor. 67 00:01:46,758 --> 00:01:48,586 If we let go of her, she'll lose her insurance. 68 00:01:48,630 --> 00:01:50,283 And Keith just adopted twins. 69 00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,155 I mean, that's a bad time to be out of a job. 70 00:01:52,199 --> 00:01:54,114 - I didn't mean to get anybody fired. 71 00:01:54,157 --> 00:01:55,419 - Who would you let go of? 72 00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:57,073 I mean, I have narrowed it down to these four. 73 00:01:57,116 --> 00:01:58,466 - You want me to decide? - Well, yeah. 74 00:01:58,509 --> 00:01:59,728 You want to be in management? 75 00:01:59,771 --> 00:02:01,730 Here's lesson 101: making hard decisions. 76 00:02:01,773 --> 00:02:03,123 - Well, our first lesson was actually 77 00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:04,211 how to log into the web portal. 78 00:02:04,254 --> 00:02:05,386 It's, like, needlessly complicated-- 79 00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:07,562 - Right. I need this. 80 00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:08,562 - Fine. 81 00:02:08,606 --> 00:02:10,913 If I had to choose, I guess... 82 00:02:10,955 --> 00:02:12,175 Syd. 83 00:02:12,219 --> 00:02:13,611 He has the worst numbers and the most complaints. 84 00:02:13,655 --> 00:02:14,786 - Yeah. Sweet guy, though. 85 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:15,961 I was hoping you wouldn't pick him. 86 00:02:16,005 --> 00:02:17,137 - Oh, I can pick somebody-- 87 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:18,616 - No, you're right. It has to be Syd. 88 00:02:18,660 --> 00:02:20,096 I just can't face him. - Okay. 89 00:02:20,140 --> 00:02:21,576 - Can you do it? 90 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:22,533 - Me? 91 00:02:22,577 --> 00:02:23,969 - It'd hurt less coming from you. 92 00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:25,623 These people think of me as like a cool, younger sister 93 00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:28,496 or like an unobtainable crush. 94 00:02:28,539 --> 00:02:30,454 - Do they? - Mm-hmm. 95 00:02:30,498 --> 00:02:32,021 - Ah, there she is. 96 00:02:32,064 --> 00:02:34,850 Saint Dori saving the world one mean comment at a time. 97 00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:36,112 - Get away from me, Wesley. 98 00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:37,287 - She's so perfect. 99 00:02:37,331 --> 00:02:38,810 She would never spend company money 100 00:02:38,853 --> 00:02:39,898 going to a place where 101 00:02:39,942 --> 00:02:41,639 sexual mores are temporarily lowered. 102 00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:44,773 - Because I don't need to. - Okay, uh, Miss Pens. 103 00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,644 God, for someone who cares so much about the company, 104 00:02:46,688 --> 00:02:48,211 you're pretty cavalier with the pen usage. 105 00:02:48,255 --> 00:02:50,822 You got blue, black, red, another blue. 106 00:02:50,866 --> 00:02:51,910 Must be nice. 107 00:02:51,954 --> 00:02:52,954 - What does a pen cost? 108 00:02:52,998 --> 00:02:54,043 Like, what? A dime? 109 00:02:54,086 --> 00:02:55,043 - Yeah, but you multiply that 110 00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:56,654 times, like, 20,000 employees, 111 00:02:56,698 --> 00:02:58,003 who knows how much that would save? 112 00:02:58,047 --> 00:02:59,222 - $2,000. 113 00:02:59,266 --> 00:03:01,006 - Did you just do that in your head? 114 00:03:01,050 --> 00:03:02,399 - I mean, I guess we do use a lot of stuff 115 00:03:02,443 --> 00:03:03,792 that we actually don't need. 116 00:03:03,835 --> 00:03:05,489 Like, why does everybody have tape on their desk? 117 00:03:05,533 --> 00:03:06,969 We're not doing arts and crafts up in here. 118 00:03:07,012 --> 00:03:08,275 - [laughs] Yeah. 119 00:03:08,318 --> 00:03:09,928 I mean, you cut some pens; you cut some tape. 120 00:03:09,972 --> 00:03:12,757 - That's, like, pure savings. - Yeah. 121 00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,237 - Let's go check out the supply room. 122 00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:17,414 - Ooh, yeah. Uh, don't worry, guys. 123 00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:20,461 This mismatched pair of ragtags is gonna save your jobs. 124 00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:22,158 And in the process, 125 00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:25,553 we just may find out we have more in common than we think. 126 00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:27,511 - What does he mean save our jobs? 127 00:03:27,555 --> 00:03:30,035 Anyone know what he means by that? 128 00:03:30,079 --> 00:03:31,689 - Hey, Katherine. 129 00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,822 "Ticker Tape" on CNBC wants to interview you this afternoon. 130 00:03:33,865 --> 00:03:34,953 - Today? - Mm. 131 00:03:34,997 --> 00:03:36,216 - On the day of these layoffs? Pass. 132 00:03:36,259 --> 00:03:37,521 I mean, that would be like 133 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:39,871 taking a victory lap at a euthanasia party. 134 00:03:39,915 --> 00:03:40,872 - Mm. - Yeah. 135 00:03:40,916 --> 00:03:42,265 Not a perfect metaphor. 136 00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:43,658 But the point is, terrible timing. 137 00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,442 - Right, yeah, but I was also thinking 138 00:03:45,486 --> 00:03:47,096 maybe it's perfect timing. - Hmm? 139 00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:50,142 - It shows that we're taking hard actions to cut costs, 140 00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:52,797 which Wall Street will love, but we're doing it by 141 00:03:52,841 --> 00:03:55,409 letting go of executives instead of blue-collar workers, 142 00:03:55,452 --> 00:03:57,237 which, I mean, Main Street will love. 143 00:03:57,280 --> 00:03:58,368 - Yeah. - Oh, right? 144 00:03:58,412 --> 00:03:59,587 - Interesting. Love from both streets. 145 00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:00,936 I mean, that's all the streets there are. 146 00:04:00,979 --> 00:04:02,285 - Yeah. 147 00:04:02,329 --> 00:04:04,287 - Katherine Hastings, savior of the underlings. 148 00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:06,246 - Maybe we could workshop the phrasing. 149 00:04:06,289 --> 00:04:07,812 - Savior of the peons? 150 00:04:07,856 --> 00:04:09,466 - Uh, just workers. 151 00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:11,947 - Eh, doesn't really pop. I'll play with it. 152 00:04:11,990 --> 00:04:13,340 - Right. 153 00:04:13,383 --> 00:04:14,471 - So the first few pages 154 00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:15,951 are just the standard layoff script, 155 00:04:15,994 --> 00:04:19,259 and the rest is a list of acceptable legal responses 156 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:20,521 to anything they may say to you. 157 00:04:20,564 --> 00:04:22,479 - So I'm just supposed to read this to them? 158 00:04:22,523 --> 00:04:23,741 Seems a little heartless. 159 00:04:23,785 --> 00:04:25,047 - Precisely, yeah. Just get through it 160 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:27,136 with an emotionless, surgical precision. 161 00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:29,747 You know, like a child of an acrimonious divorce 162 00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,314 dissecting a backyard squirrel. 163 00:04:31,358 --> 00:04:33,751 - Please, Jack. There's an art to this. 164 00:04:33,795 --> 00:04:36,014 People don't want a robot. They want to be heard. 165 00:04:36,058 --> 00:04:38,147 They want to be seen. - Just stick to the script. 166 00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:39,322 - Stick to the script, 167 00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,846 but breathe some life into it, hmm? 168 00:04:41,890 --> 00:04:43,239 Connect with your scene partner. 169 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,110 - My scene partner? - Let's say I'm firing you. 170 00:04:45,154 --> 00:04:48,070 I gotta ask myself, "What do I think makes Jack tick?" 171 00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:50,768 So while my mouth may be going through the motions 172 00:04:50,812 --> 00:04:53,467 and saying the words, my mind is thinking, 173 00:04:53,510 --> 00:04:55,599 "Light beer, bouncing breasts, 174 00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,645 he probably ain't cracked a book in ages." 175 00:04:57,688 --> 00:05:00,125 - Little condescending, but-- - It's art, Jack. 176 00:05:00,169 --> 00:05:02,780 It's supposed to make you feel uncomfortable. 177 00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:05,435 - Yeah, I mean, you have to admit we do love breasts. 178 00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:06,828 He's not wrong about that. 179 00:05:06,871 --> 00:05:08,308 - Okay, but what do I do if he, like, 180 00:05:08,351 --> 00:05:10,353 starts freaking out screaming, "I'm gonna kill myself," 181 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:12,573 or, "I'm gonna kill you and then I'm gonna kill myself." 182 00:05:12,616 --> 00:05:14,401 What do I do if-- - That is in here, 183 00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:15,619 because we do get that... 184 00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:17,447 [laughing] Really quite a lot. 185 00:05:17,491 --> 00:05:19,623 - Uh, oh, we could lower our water bill 186 00:05:19,667 --> 00:05:21,625 if we put those little push tabs on the sinks. 187 00:05:21,669 --> 00:05:23,061 You know, the one where you gotta play whack-a-mole 188 00:05:23,105 --> 00:05:24,149 to, like, turn the water on? 189 00:05:24,193 --> 00:05:25,412 - Oh, my God. I hate those things. 190 00:05:25,455 --> 00:05:26,630 That's perfect. 191 00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,371 - Oh, double-sided printing. 192 00:05:28,415 --> 00:05:29,807 We use half the paper, not to mention 193 00:05:29,851 --> 00:05:31,853 freeing up filing space and reducing trash. 194 00:05:31,896 --> 00:05:33,594 - Okay, you're amazing at this. 195 00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:36,248 It's like "Good Will Hunting" but, you know, like, 196 00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:37,772 a reboot with a Black woman, 197 00:05:37,815 --> 00:05:39,339 and I'd probably have to be gay or British or something. 198 00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:40,470 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 199 00:05:40,514 --> 00:05:42,472 - Joe America shouldn't pay the tab 200 00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,387 for corporate America's mistakes. 201 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:45,606 Powerful, right? 202 00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,347 - Very much so. I felt it. Tingly. 203 00:05:47,390 --> 00:05:48,478 - Ew. Well, anyway. 204 00:05:48,522 --> 00:05:49,871 Hey, is what I'm wearing okay? 205 00:05:49,914 --> 00:05:50,828 When I got dressed this morning, 206 00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:52,134 I didn't know I'd be doing TV. 207 00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:53,308 - I think you look perfect, 208 00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:54,397 Especially given the solemn news, 209 00:05:54,441 --> 00:05:56,312 it's good not to be too polished. 210 00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:57,661 - What do you mean too polished? 211 00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,097 Do I look unpolished? - No, I just mean real. 212 00:05:59,141 --> 00:06:00,490 You look real. 213 00:06:00,534 --> 00:06:02,057 - So I don't look like my normal supermodel self? 214 00:06:02,100 --> 00:06:03,363 It's been a stressful time lately 215 00:06:03,406 --> 00:06:04,451 in case you haven't noticed. 216 00:06:04,494 --> 00:06:05,843 - Honestly? Hey, you look beautiful. 217 00:06:05,887 --> 00:06:07,062 - Really? 'Cause ten seconds ago, 218 00:06:07,105 --> 00:06:08,759 you were saying I looked unpolished, 219 00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,195 so you're kinda talking out both sides of your mouth there. 220 00:06:10,239 --> 00:06:11,414 [chuckles] 221 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,677 Oh, yeah. My roots are really bad. Wow. 222 00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,331 Ooh, I could use some filler, too. 223 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,332 - I'm gonna go. 224 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,855 - Oh, my God. 225 00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:19,596 Hey, Dori. Get Dr. Kazemi on the phone. 226 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,468 Tell her to bring the full bag! 227 00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,600 - Syd, you've been a valuable employee, 228 00:06:23,644 --> 00:06:25,689 but unfortunately, we have to let some people go, 229 00:06:25,733 --> 00:06:26,864 and I just-- [knock at door] 230 00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:28,257 Yes, uh, come in. 231 00:06:28,300 --> 00:06:29,824 - Hey, are you Jack? - Syd! 232 00:06:29,867 --> 00:06:30,825 I mean, I'm Jack. - Yeah. 233 00:06:30,868 --> 00:06:31,782 - You're Syd. - Yeah. 234 00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:33,131 Well, I certainly hope so. 235 00:06:33,175 --> 00:06:34,784 That's the name that they wrote in my underwear. 236 00:06:34,829 --> 00:06:37,048 [chuckles] You know, you look like a Jack. 237 00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:39,703 Yeah, it's a strong name, but it's not showing off. 238 00:06:39,747 --> 00:06:42,097 I mean, you're just Jack. - Yeah, thanks. 239 00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:43,881 So the reason I asked you in today 240 00:06:43,925 --> 00:06:45,056 is that we need to talk about-- 241 00:06:45,100 --> 00:06:47,319 - Actually, Jack's my grandson's name. 242 00:06:47,363 --> 00:06:49,539 - That's, uh, that's cool. - You remind me of him. 243 00:06:49,582 --> 00:06:52,890 He's a good kid. That's two good kids. 244 00:06:52,933 --> 00:06:54,414 So what can I do for you, Jack? 245 00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,156 - Syd. - Yeah. 246 00:06:58,200 --> 00:06:59,767 - You've been a valuable-- - Oh! 247 00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,464 What size mitt do you wear? 248 00:07:01,508 --> 00:07:02,900 - My mitt size? 249 00:07:02,944 --> 00:07:05,381 - I've got an extra glove. I think it might fit you. 250 00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:07,165 - Adult? - Yeah, that'll work. 251 00:07:07,209 --> 00:07:08,906 [upbeat quirky music] 252 00:07:08,950 --> 00:07:09,907 - Yeah. 253 00:07:11,996 --> 00:07:12,214 . 254 00:07:12,257 --> 00:07:14,608 - "Please know that Payne greatly values 255 00:07:14,651 --> 00:07:16,087 "your years of service and is therefore committed 256 00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:18,350 to helping you find your next employment opportunity." 257 00:07:18,394 --> 00:07:20,875 - Oh, my God. Oh, God. I-- 258 00:07:20,918 --> 00:07:22,398 - [clears throat] "Payne-- 259 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,444 Payne will be offering a generous severance package"-- 260 00:07:24,487 --> 00:07:28,404 - [murmuring] 261 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,754 - "Payne greatly values your years..." 262 00:07:30,798 --> 00:07:32,713 [sighs] I'm sorry, Deb. 263 00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:37,935 "Your years of service and is committed to helping you..." 264 00:07:37,979 --> 00:07:41,417 - Shh, it's okay. You're doing great. 265 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,028 - "Unfortunately, we have to let some people go, and..." 266 00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,639 - Oh, I'm sorry. Who's that gonna be? 267 00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:48,990 - Uh, just, uh, let me keep reading. 268 00:07:49,033 --> 00:07:50,207 "We have to let some people go"-- 269 00:07:50,252 --> 00:07:51,906 - On second thought, I don't wanna know. 270 00:07:51,949 --> 00:07:53,081 These people are like family. 271 00:07:53,124 --> 00:07:54,212 - There's a second half of that sentence 272 00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:55,997 I really need to get to, Syd. 273 00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:57,477 - "Please..." - [murmuring] 274 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:58,913 - "Please take all personal belongings with you..." 275 00:07:58,956 --> 00:08:00,567 - [murmuring] 276 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:01,785 - "By the end of the day, 277 00:08:01,829 --> 00:08:04,571 as your card access will be turned off." 278 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:05,702 - [murmuring] 279 00:08:05,746 --> 00:08:07,748 - "Please take all your personal..." 280 00:08:07,791 --> 00:08:08,923 No! 281 00:08:08,966 --> 00:08:10,490 I can't. I can't. 282 00:08:10,533 --> 00:08:11,926 - Here. I'll help. Let me do it. 283 00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:13,754 - [sniffles] 284 00:08:13,797 --> 00:08:15,582 - Uh, "Take all personal belongings with you 285 00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:18,541 as your card access will be turned off." 286 00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,369 That sounds reasonable. That's fine. 287 00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,240 - [whispers] Turn the page. 288 00:08:22,284 --> 00:08:23,764 - Wait! I'm fired? 289 00:08:23,807 --> 00:08:25,113 You're firing me? 290 00:08:25,156 --> 00:08:27,071 - Uh, "If you signed a separation agreement, 291 00:08:27,115 --> 00:08:29,204 I can give you a severance of X dollars." 292 00:08:29,247 --> 00:08:30,771 I think I'm supposed to fill out the X-- 293 00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:33,251 - I could do better, Jack. Jack, give me another chance. 294 00:08:33,294 --> 00:08:35,123 - "Syd, I'm sorry, but the decision 295 00:08:35,165 --> 00:08:36,298 to end your employment is final." 296 00:08:36,341 --> 00:08:38,692 - Oh! How is this happening? 297 00:08:38,735 --> 00:08:40,171 And what sort of God 298 00:08:40,215 --> 00:08:42,173 would allow something like this to happen? 299 00:08:42,217 --> 00:08:43,610 - "If they invoke God, 300 00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:45,525 maintain a neutral disposition, and do not engage." 301 00:08:47,178 --> 00:08:49,224 - I don't think you're supposed to read that. 302 00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:54,185 - "Once again, thank you for your time and service." 303 00:08:54,229 --> 00:08:55,883 Howard? Are you all right? 304 00:08:55,926 --> 00:08:57,058 - I'm fine. 305 00:08:59,103 --> 00:09:00,583 - "Excellent. 306 00:09:00,627 --> 00:09:04,065 I'm so happy we've come to a satisfactory conclusion." 307 00:09:05,370 --> 00:09:07,634 Howard, are you sure you're fine? 308 00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:09,636 - I'm fine. 309 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,551 - "Excellent. 310 00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:13,640 I'm so happy we've come to a satisfactory conclusion." 311 00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:16,164 Shall I--I tell you what, 312 00:09:16,207 --> 00:09:17,165 why don't I give you a helping hand, 313 00:09:17,208 --> 00:09:19,210 set you on the way? [chuckles] 314 00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,343 You know, a journey of a thousand miles 315 00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:23,475 starts with a single step, doesn't it? 316 00:09:23,519 --> 00:09:28,306 So I'm just gonna pop you there, and, um... 317 00:09:28,350 --> 00:09:31,135 check you on the flipside. 318 00:09:31,179 --> 00:09:32,441 - What did I do wrong? 319 00:09:32,484 --> 00:09:34,138 Did someone complain about my performance? 320 00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:35,923 - "Syd, we won't be discussing any specifics 321 00:09:35,966 --> 00:09:37,054 about your performance." - Okay. 322 00:09:37,098 --> 00:09:38,752 But to my face they say, "Great job, Syd. 323 00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,536 You're part of the team, Syd." So now what? 324 00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,843 All of a sudden, behind my back, they want me gone? 325 00:09:42,886 --> 00:09:44,627 - "Syd, this meeting isn't about other employees." 326 00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,411 - Stop reading from this binder. 327 00:09:46,455 --> 00:09:49,850 I'm a real person. Would you talk to me? 328 00:09:49,893 --> 00:09:51,634 - [sighs] 329 00:09:51,678 --> 00:09:53,984 Truth is, we have to cut costs to pay for the recall. 330 00:09:54,028 --> 00:09:55,986 That's all this is. - But why me? 331 00:09:56,030 --> 00:09:57,553 Did I do my job wrong? 332 00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,381 Is that what this is in my file? 333 00:09:59,424 --> 00:10:01,383 - Of course not. Of course not. 334 00:10:01,426 --> 00:10:04,212 The file says you are great. 335 00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:06,606 They just want, like, new blood. 336 00:10:06,649 --> 00:10:09,086 - New blood? - Yeah, yeah. 337 00:10:09,130 --> 00:10:11,045 Syd, it's nothing personal. 338 00:10:11,088 --> 00:10:13,961 - Oh, okay. So this is an age thing. 339 00:10:14,004 --> 00:10:15,310 - What? 340 00:10:15,353 --> 00:10:16,659 - No, you need to bring in the young guns. 341 00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:18,313 - I didn't mean to suggest anything like that. 342 00:10:18,356 --> 00:10:19,749 - I may be old, but I know the word "ageism" when I hear it. 343 00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:20,707 - Syd, let's just take a beat. - Let's just work-- 344 00:10:20,750 --> 00:10:21,838 - You don't remind me of my grandson, 345 00:10:21,882 --> 00:10:23,884 you remind me of my other grandson, 346 00:10:23,927 --> 00:10:26,321 the pot smoker. 347 00:10:28,758 --> 00:10:30,673 - So how rough have the layoffs been? 348 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:32,588 - Um, you know, we're getting through it. 349 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,504 It's just obviously uncomfortable. 350 00:10:35,547 --> 00:10:36,679 - Mm-hmm. 351 00:10:36,723 --> 00:10:38,594 - Should I come back later? - No. Why? 352 00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,596 - Just a bit squeamish about needles in faces. 353 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,337 - Oh, well, you're gonna have to get used to that. 354 00:10:42,380 --> 00:10:44,165 I mean, you're a female executive, right? 355 00:10:44,208 --> 00:10:45,775 Gotta stay ahead of the saggy-faced curve. 356 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:47,298 - Mm. 357 00:10:47,342 --> 00:10:48,343 - Actually, you could use a little touch-up right now. 358 00:10:48,386 --> 00:10:49,431 You want the rest of this needle? 359 00:10:49,474 --> 00:10:50,693 - You can't share needles. - What? 360 00:10:50,737 --> 00:10:51,868 It's fine. I'm her boss. - I think I'm good. 361 00:10:51,912 --> 00:10:53,435 But thanks. - Easier if you start now. 362 00:10:53,478 --> 00:10:55,437 Actually, maybe five years ago. - Mm-hmm. 363 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:57,221 You're the head of a Fortune 500 company. 364 00:10:57,265 --> 00:10:58,658 Haven't you, like, 365 00:10:58,701 --> 00:11:00,747 earned the right to not have to worry about vanity? 366 00:11:00,790 --> 00:11:03,532 - [laughs] It's not vanity; it's business. 367 00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,012 I mean, 368 00:11:05,055 --> 00:11:06,709 people want their female CEOs to be young and vibrant. 369 00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:08,232 Do you think anyone wants to know that 370 00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:09,277 when I kicked through the glass ceiling, 371 00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:10,887 I peed my granny briefs a little? 372 00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,759 - Mm, no. Is that a thing? 373 00:11:12,802 --> 00:11:14,586 - Oh, yeah. When you hit perimenopause, 374 00:11:14,630 --> 00:11:16,676 you'll be playing tennis in a maxi pad, too. 375 00:11:16,719 --> 00:11:18,416 - Well, I don't play tennis. - You should. 376 00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,548 Your upper arms are starting to drift a little. 377 00:11:19,591 --> 00:11:20,680 It's really good for that. 378 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,377 - And stop moving your lips. - Mm-hmm. 379 00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:23,465 [mumbling] I mean, this is what you have to do 380 00:11:23,508 --> 00:11:25,032 to be taken seriously. 381 00:11:25,075 --> 00:11:26,424 - Mm. 382 00:11:26,468 --> 00:11:28,644 - Hey, everyone! We got great news. 383 00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:31,386 Dori is passing out some super-cozy blankets. 384 00:11:31,429 --> 00:11:32,779 Those are gratis. 385 00:11:32,822 --> 00:11:35,085 Plus, I also think she has some bonus great news. 386 00:11:35,129 --> 00:11:36,565 - I sure do, Wesley. 387 00:11:36,608 --> 00:11:38,480 The heat will be turned off between 10:00 and 4:00, 388 00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:39,829 effective immediately. 389 00:11:39,873 --> 00:11:41,788 - And that's prudent. It's super-prudent. 390 00:11:41,831 --> 00:11:44,921 - Um, I can't work in the cold. I have a medical condition. 391 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:47,663 - You have a what? - An iron deficiency. 392 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,535 - [laughs] So let me guess. You half woman, half lizard? 393 00:11:50,579 --> 00:11:52,320 - No, no, it's cool. It's cool. 394 00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:53,625 We want everyone to be comfortable, 395 00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:54,801 so look, hey, look. It's fine. 396 00:11:54,844 --> 00:11:56,454 Phoebe doesn't want to use a blanket. 397 00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:57,673 - Okay. - Great. 398 00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,109 - Unfortunately, that does mean 399 00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:00,763 that Max is gonna lose his job 400 00:12:00,807 --> 00:12:03,505 and his kids are gonna starve to death. 401 00:12:03,548 --> 00:12:05,202 - Yeah, Max's children gon' die. 402 00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:06,900 - Okay, I'll take a blanket. 403 00:12:06,943 --> 00:12:08,205 - There you go, Pheebs! 404 00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:10,077 - Okay, Max. Your kids live to see another day. 405 00:12:10,120 --> 00:12:12,383 - I'm take this. You don't need to be taping nothing. 406 00:12:12,427 --> 00:12:14,168 Your papers just be everywhere. - [chuckles] 407 00:12:14,211 --> 00:12:16,605 [quirky music] 408 00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:18,912 - Hey. How'd everything go? 409 00:12:18,955 --> 00:12:20,304 - Oh, fantastic. Yeah. 410 00:12:20,348 --> 00:12:21,741 I mean, I do have 411 00:12:21,784 --> 00:12:23,699 a catatonic man in a rolling chair outside my office, 412 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:26,354 but other than that, everything's brilliant. 413 00:12:26,397 --> 00:12:28,617 - Okay. How did Syd take it? 414 00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:31,663 - Not well. Kept asking why he was the one being let go. 415 00:12:31,707 --> 00:12:33,056 - He's the worst performer in his department. 416 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,405 - Yeah, but I didn't want to tell him that, though. 417 00:12:34,449 --> 00:12:36,712 He thinks it's because he getting old. 418 00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:39,019 He can't sue me for, like, ageism, can he? 419 00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:40,368 - Uh, no. Of course not. 420 00:12:40,411 --> 00:12:41,935 I mean theoretically, he could sue the company, 421 00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:45,329 but he'd need to prove a pattern of age discrimination. 422 00:12:45,373 --> 00:12:46,722 He's just one guy, so... 423 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,811 - I think Deborah's in her 60s, actually. 424 00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:51,335 - All right, well, you know, two people, then. 425 00:12:53,033 --> 00:12:56,558 Although Howard is getting up there a bit. 426 00:12:56,601 --> 00:12:57,689 - Well, that's just three people. 427 00:12:57,733 --> 00:13:00,083 I'm sure other departments didn't-- 428 00:13:00,127 --> 00:13:01,345 - Letting you go too? 429 00:13:01,389 --> 00:13:02,477 Ugh. 430 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:03,870 [quirky music] 431 00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,785 - Looks like the end of "Cocoon," right? 432 00:13:05,828 --> 00:13:06,873 - Mm. 433 00:13:08,962 --> 00:13:09,179 . 434 00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:10,528 - Gerald Balmer, 435 00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:11,965 Arthur Stevens, Mort Callaway? 436 00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,140 Jesus, this thing reads like 437 00:13:13,183 --> 00:13:15,229 the team roster at a canasta tournament. 438 00:13:15,272 --> 00:13:16,839 - Well, yeah, I mean, if you read them out in a list, 439 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:18,145 then yeah, it doesn't sound great. 440 00:13:18,188 --> 00:13:19,581 - Well, how should I read it? 441 00:13:19,624 --> 00:13:21,713 - Well, I guess my legal advice would be we don't. 442 00:13:21,757 --> 00:13:23,063 - Can't we just wait this out? 443 00:13:23,106 --> 00:13:24,368 - Like until the old people die? 444 00:13:24,412 --> 00:13:25,717 - No, no, no. That's not what I meant. 445 00:13:25,761 --> 00:13:26,936 - Guys, we can't sit back on this one. 446 00:13:26,980 --> 00:13:28,111 I have dealt with 447 00:13:28,155 --> 00:13:29,330 age discrimination lawsuits at York. 448 00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,158 They are ugly, and they are expensive. 449 00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:32,333 - Yeah, it's not like the people they protect. 450 00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,857 They move pretty fast. [chuckles] 451 00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,554 It's not the time for humor, is it? 452 00:13:36,598 --> 00:13:38,252 - Yeah, but this wasn't on purpose, though. 453 00:13:38,295 --> 00:13:39,296 It was a mistake. 454 00:13:39,340 --> 00:13:40,471 - Oh, that's a good point, Jack. 455 00:13:40,515 --> 00:13:41,951 Yeah, great. 456 00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:43,431 Hey guys, let's double down on the oopsies defense. 457 00:13:43,474 --> 00:13:45,694 - I actually got excited when you said "good point." 458 00:13:45,737 --> 00:13:47,217 - This is all ridiculous. 459 00:13:47,261 --> 00:13:50,525 Syd is a marketing VP who never learned social media. 460 00:13:50,568 --> 00:13:51,874 I mean, you would not 461 00:13:51,918 --> 00:13:53,093 go to a doctor who's 20 years behind the times. 462 00:13:53,136 --> 00:13:55,399 - Right. Can it really be discrimination 463 00:13:55,443 --> 00:13:56,748 if it affects your job? 464 00:13:56,792 --> 00:14:00,143 Are we gonna let an 80-year-old, um... 465 00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:01,405 - I don't know. Can't help you. 466 00:14:01,449 --> 00:14:03,407 - Uh, run a band saw? - Mm. 467 00:14:03,451 --> 00:14:04,495 - That'd be insane. 468 00:14:04,539 --> 00:14:05,670 There should be lawsuits about that. 469 00:14:05,714 --> 00:14:06,889 - Yeah, I don't see 470 00:14:06,933 --> 00:14:08,412 a lot of heavy machinery around the office. 471 00:14:08,456 --> 00:14:10,893 - What about a hand model who loses both of his hands? 472 00:14:10,937 --> 00:14:12,590 - Again, how does that apply to us? 473 00:14:12,634 --> 00:14:15,028 - Yeah, also all models are freelance these days, Jack, 474 00:14:15,071 --> 00:14:16,246 so that doesn't work on two counts. 475 00:14:16,290 --> 00:14:17,857 - Age had nothing to do with this. 476 00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,641 It just so happens that bad employees 477 00:14:19,684 --> 00:14:22,296 and old employees share a lot of the same qualities, 478 00:14:22,339 --> 00:14:24,428 and that sounds really bad, so circle back to me. 479 00:14:24,472 --> 00:14:26,256 - Look, we didn't fire anyone because of their age, right? 480 00:14:26,300 --> 00:14:27,562 We fired them because they're bad. 481 00:14:27,605 --> 00:14:29,172 - Yeah, yeah. Thank you. 482 00:14:29,216 --> 00:14:31,087 - You know, and some of them are bad because of their age. 483 00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,654 - Guys, I don't want excuses. 484 00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:34,134 I want to squash this thing before it gets out of hand, 485 00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:36,832 so someone talk Syd down off the ledge, okay? 486 00:14:36,876 --> 00:14:38,225 Straighten him out, sweet talk him, 487 00:14:38,268 --> 00:14:39,443 give him a stick and let him 488 00:14:39,487 --> 00:14:41,184 push a big hula hoop out the front door. 489 00:14:41,228 --> 00:14:42,882 I don't care. Just end it. 490 00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:44,100 - Mm-hmm. 491 00:14:44,144 --> 00:14:46,102 [quirky percussive music] 492 00:14:46,146 --> 00:14:47,930 - Oh, hey. What are you doing? 493 00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,932 Did you just throw out that tea bag? 494 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,455 How many times have you used it? 495 00:14:51,499 --> 00:14:52,848 - Uh, one. - One? 496 00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:54,110 - That's [bleep] up. 497 00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:55,851 Hey, hey! Everybody, listen up! [whistles] 498 00:14:55,895 --> 00:14:57,505 Tea bags cost money! 499 00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,420 You should be getting three to six uses 500 00:14:59,463 --> 00:15:00,900 per bag minimum. 501 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,205 - Yeah, after a few uses, 502 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,381 I put some of the leaves right under my tongue. 503 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,253 - Ooh! - Nature's tea bag! 504 00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:07,384 Right here! 505 00:15:07,428 --> 00:15:08,951 - This is an industrious man, okay? 506 00:15:08,995 --> 00:15:10,213 Unlike you freaks. 507 00:15:10,257 --> 00:15:13,869 - And just remember, wastefulness is weak tea. 508 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:14,957 Mm! 509 00:15:15,001 --> 00:15:16,741 - That's been in the trash. 510 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:17,873 - Did you just come up with that? 511 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,440 - It popped in my head fully formed. 512 00:15:19,483 --> 00:15:20,658 - Oh, my God. The hairs on my neck just, like, stood up. 513 00:15:20,702 --> 00:15:22,486 - You serious? - I was like, "Damn, Wesley!" 514 00:15:22,530 --> 00:15:24,793 - Syd, I'm so sorry to let you go. 515 00:15:24,836 --> 00:15:25,881 I just wanted to let you know 516 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:26,926 it has nothing to do with your age. 517 00:15:26,969 --> 00:15:28,275 - Oh, really? 518 00:15:28,318 --> 00:15:30,277 - Each department had to lose one employee, 519 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:31,887 and you had the worst numbers. 520 00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:32,975 - Well, that's not what Jack said. 521 00:15:33,019 --> 00:15:35,543 He said my file looks great 522 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:39,547 and that you wanted me fired because you wanted "new blood." 523 00:15:39,590 --> 00:15:40,722 - Mm. You said that? 524 00:15:40,765 --> 00:15:41,897 - You could have mentioned that before. 525 00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:43,464 - I was trying not to hurt his feelings. 526 00:15:43,507 --> 00:15:44,247 - Look, Syd. I think what's happened here is that Jack, 527 00:15:44,290 --> 00:15:45,988 he's a nice guy, you know? 528 00:15:46,032 --> 00:15:47,772 Not one of those self-proclaimed nice guys 529 00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:49,122 that "harass women" online. 530 00:15:49,165 --> 00:15:51,037 No, I mean, he's a genuine nice guy. 531 00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:52,168 You know, he can probably get any woman he wants 532 00:15:52,212 --> 00:15:53,430 without resorting to bullying tactics. 533 00:15:53,474 --> 00:15:55,432 Right, Jack? - Is that a question? 534 00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,781 - Syd, the truth is, 535 00:15:56,825 --> 00:15:58,435 you're the worst performer in your department. 536 00:15:58,479 --> 00:15:59,871 You want to read your performance reviews? 537 00:15:59,915 --> 00:16:02,048 - I don't have my readers. - Fine. I'll read them. 538 00:16:02,091 --> 00:16:04,137 "Work is sloppy and filled with errors. 539 00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,095 "Shows no initiative. 540 00:16:06,139 --> 00:16:08,315 "Brags about using sick days to play golf. 541 00:16:08,358 --> 00:16:11,144 Can't remember the names of any of the women on the floor." 542 00:16:11,187 --> 00:16:12,536 - They all have the same hair. 543 00:16:12,580 --> 00:16:13,842 - Mm-mm. 544 00:16:13,885 --> 00:16:14,974 - And besides, if I was so bad, 545 00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,584 why didn't you fire me yourself? 546 00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,978 - 'Cause I don't want to be mean to and old--to a person. 547 00:16:19,021 --> 00:16:20,327 - I don't buy it. 548 00:16:20,370 --> 00:16:21,545 You could've written all that down just now. 549 00:16:21,589 --> 00:16:22,720 And my attorney said 550 00:16:22,764 --> 00:16:24,374 I shouldn't be speaking with you anyway. 551 00:16:24,418 --> 00:16:26,028 - Attorney? So you've hired an attorney? 552 00:16:26,072 --> 00:16:28,770 - Oh, yeah. Real shark. 553 00:16:28,813 --> 00:16:30,293 Representing all of us. 554 00:16:30,337 --> 00:16:33,165 Three words: class action lawsuit. 555 00:16:33,209 --> 00:16:34,732 Elliot, I'll see you in court. 556 00:16:34,776 --> 00:16:36,212 Jack, go suck an egg. 557 00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:39,737 Brenda, I never respected you anyway. 558 00:16:39,781 --> 00:16:40,912 - Oh. 559 00:16:40,956 --> 00:16:42,740 - That's you. - That's me. 560 00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:46,440 ♪ 561 00:16:46,483 --> 00:16:49,965 - Hey, isn't this good? How's this for non-polished? 562 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:51,619 - Yeah, it's nice. Um-- 563 00:16:51,662 --> 00:16:53,664 - Man, you really have to stop frowning. 564 00:16:53,708 --> 00:16:54,665 These lines are gonna set. 565 00:16:54,709 --> 00:16:56,319 - We have a little problem. 566 00:16:56,363 --> 00:16:59,235 Syd and the other old people have lawyered up. 567 00:16:59,279 --> 00:17:00,671 - What? Oh, my God. 568 00:17:00,715 --> 00:17:02,064 I've got enough to think about with this interview. 569 00:17:02,108 --> 00:17:04,109 Wait, they're not gonna ask about this, are they? 570 00:17:04,153 --> 00:17:05,372 - They might. 571 00:17:05,415 --> 00:17:07,026 - No, no, no. This is not happening. 572 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:08,114 The whole point of this thing was to show that 573 00:17:08,156 --> 00:17:09,550 we're on the side of the underdogs. 574 00:17:09,593 --> 00:17:10,855 What am I gonna say when 575 00:17:10,898 --> 00:17:12,814 they ask me why I decided to go fire grandpa? 576 00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:16,122 - Well, I was thinking you could maybe remind them that 577 00:17:16,165 --> 00:17:18,950 you know, you're a woman of a certain age. 578 00:17:18,993 --> 00:17:20,517 - What? 579 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:22,432 I just spent the entire day making myself look younger, 580 00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:24,347 and now you want my defense to be 581 00:17:24,391 --> 00:17:25,782 that I eat prunes every morning? 582 00:17:25,827 --> 00:17:28,395 Besides which, honestly, I look like I'm 35 anyway. 583 00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,701 - Y-you don't. - 37. Fine, whatever. 584 00:17:30,745 --> 00:17:32,007 - Okay. - Ah, damn it. 585 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:33,313 We're gonna have to rethink this whole thing. 586 00:17:33,356 --> 00:17:34,836 - I think it's more of an attitude thing. 587 00:17:34,879 --> 00:17:37,447 - Hey, Dori! Get the rest of the style team back! 588 00:17:37,491 --> 00:17:39,797 Sadie needs me to eat turds on live television. 589 00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:41,103 [sighs] 590 00:17:43,149 --> 00:17:43,584 . 591 00:17:43,627 --> 00:17:46,108 - Here to talk about Payne's plan to bounce back 592 00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,327 from the recall, CEO Katherine Hastings. 593 00:17:47,370 --> 00:17:48,545 Katherine, thank you for being here. 594 00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:50,025 - Well, it's great to be here, Colin. 595 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,375 - She is really leaning into the "I am old" thing hard. 596 00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,377 - Looks like she smashed all the "Golden Girls" characters 597 00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,075 into one person. 598 00:17:56,118 --> 00:17:57,598 - [laughs] 599 00:17:57,641 --> 00:17:59,121 - You don't have a case, Martin. 600 00:17:59,165 --> 00:18:00,644 - Every one of the people you fired is over 40. 601 00:18:00,688 --> 00:18:02,429 You think a jury will think that's a coincidence? 602 00:18:02,472 --> 00:18:04,692 - We are downsizing senior staff. 603 00:18:04,735 --> 00:18:06,041 Is it any surprise that some of the people 604 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,564 we're letting go happen to be seniors? 605 00:18:07,608 --> 00:18:09,131 - It's textbook ageism. 606 00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:10,828 I'd get ready to open the coffers if I were you. 607 00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:13,179 - No, the coffers will remain firmly shut, thank you, 608 00:18:13,222 --> 00:18:15,485 because you need to prove a pattern of discrimination, 609 00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:18,053 and one unlucky day doth not a pattern make. 610 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:20,316 - So if I look at everybody you fired in the past, 611 00:18:20,360 --> 00:18:22,275 I wouldn't find a disproportionate number 612 00:18:22,318 --> 00:18:24,842 of them that were over 40? 613 00:18:24,886 --> 00:18:26,366 - [bleep] off, Martin. 614 00:18:26,409 --> 00:18:28,672 [energetic percussive music] 615 00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:29,847 Oh, move, Howard. 616 00:18:29,891 --> 00:18:32,285 You need to get on with your life! 617 00:18:32,328 --> 00:18:33,808 - No, we can't do the layoffs. 618 00:18:33,851 --> 00:18:36,027 We can't do the layoffs. - What? 619 00:18:36,071 --> 00:18:38,943 - If you don't rehire all these wrinkled, old fart bags, 620 00:18:38,987 --> 00:18:40,989 we're gonna get buried in a slew of lawsuits 621 00:18:41,032 --> 00:18:42,251 that are gonna cost us way more than we ever would've made 622 00:18:42,295 --> 00:18:43,861 by laying them off in the first place. 623 00:18:43,905 --> 00:18:45,646 - [sighs] Well, where are we gonna find the savings? 624 00:18:45,689 --> 00:18:47,126 - We could fire all the young people instead. 625 00:18:47,169 --> 00:18:48,649 - Damn, you're just dying to axe people today, 626 00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:49,824 aren't you, Jack? 627 00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:50,955 - He's got a taste for blood now. 628 00:18:50,999 --> 00:18:51,869 - No, no, that's not what I'm trying-- 629 00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:53,088 - Wait, fire young people? 630 00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,220 That's just reverse discrimination. 631 00:18:54,263 --> 00:18:55,525 - And then we'll be stuck 632 00:18:55,569 --> 00:18:56,831 with just the old people, and let's be honest, 633 00:18:56,874 --> 00:18:58,267 they absolutely suck. 634 00:18:58,311 --> 00:18:59,834 - [chuckles] 635 00:18:59,877 --> 00:19:01,879 - Not you. We value you. - Yeah. 636 00:19:01,923 --> 00:19:03,316 - Has she started talking about the layoffs yet? 637 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,882 - Have you decided 638 00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:06,362 where you'll find the money to pay for all this? 639 00:19:06,406 --> 00:19:08,843 - Well, at first, we discussed closing a factory, 640 00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:10,714 but I said, "Absolutely not." 641 00:19:10,758 --> 00:19:12,151 - Ah, damn it. 642 00:19:12,194 --> 00:19:13,891 - Our factories are the heart of our company. 643 00:19:13,935 --> 00:19:17,156 Isn't it time for those of us in the executive ranks 644 00:19:17,199 --> 00:19:18,592 to take the hit? 645 00:19:18,635 --> 00:19:20,550 - So you'll be letting go of some executives? 646 00:19:20,594 --> 00:19:22,465 - Uh, you know, that is the question 647 00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:25,381 that we asked ourselves, Colin. 648 00:19:25,425 --> 00:19:28,645 Uh, and the answer, Colin, it may surprise you. 649 00:19:28,689 --> 00:19:31,300 The answer is... 650 00:19:31,344 --> 00:19:32,736 no. 651 00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:36,218 No, we are not gonna let go of our executives. 652 00:19:36,262 --> 00:19:38,264 - So where are you going to be finding the savings, then? 653 00:19:38,307 --> 00:19:40,353 - Such a good question, Colin. 654 00:19:40,396 --> 00:19:41,963 You know, 655 00:19:42,006 --> 00:19:43,660 and that's the same question that we asked ourselves. 656 00:19:43,704 --> 00:19:45,184 What are we gonna do? 657 00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:48,230 We knew that we needed an a answer right away 658 00:19:48,274 --> 00:19:53,540 uh, otherwise, there would be enormous consequences. 659 00:19:53,583 --> 00:19:55,368 Close factory 660 00:19:55,411 --> 00:20:00,329 is unfortunately what we realized we had to do, so... 661 00:20:00,373 --> 00:20:02,026 - But you just said Joe America 662 00:20:02,070 --> 00:20:03,985 shouldn't pay for corporate America's mistakes 663 00:20:04,028 --> 00:20:06,422 and that the factory was-- and I'm quoting here-- 664 00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,119 "the heart of the company." 665 00:20:08,163 --> 00:20:10,470 - Yes, but we have many factories, 666 00:20:10,513 --> 00:20:13,429 so in a way, we have multiple hearts. 667 00:20:13,473 --> 00:20:14,909 Like a cow. 668 00:20:14,952 --> 00:20:16,954 - You're referring to how a cow has four stomachs? 669 00:20:16,998 --> 00:20:19,000 - [laughing] No. Let me be clear. 670 00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:22,656 We have 20 cows, each with a heart in them 671 00:20:22,699 --> 00:20:25,876 but still, we are going to have to, uh, 672 00:20:25,920 --> 00:20:28,227 turn one of our cows into chuck. 673 00:20:28,270 --> 00:20:30,141 - Well, sure to be an unpopular move, 674 00:20:30,185 --> 00:20:33,057 but you have to respect a woman willing to stand behind it. 675 00:20:33,101 --> 00:20:34,668 - Oh, well, thank you so much, Colin. 676 00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,800 Oh, and I just want to say I know I look a little haggard. 677 00:20:36,844 --> 00:20:38,324 I was out very, very late last night. 678 00:20:38,367 --> 00:20:41,457 Some of my friends took me out for my 44th birthday. 679 00:20:41,501 --> 00:20:42,893 [chuckles] 680 00:20:42,937 --> 00:20:44,243 - Plus what we'll save on heat 681 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:45,853 minus the blankets we had to buy, 682 00:20:45,896 --> 00:20:47,550 plus what we saved on office supplies-- 683 00:20:47,594 --> 00:20:50,553 - They didn't think this ragtag team of misfits could do it. 684 00:20:50,597 --> 00:20:51,815 Well, how do you like them apples? 685 00:20:51,859 --> 00:20:54,514 We saved a total of $14. - Huh. 686 00:20:54,557 --> 00:20:55,863 Not what I was expecting, 687 00:20:55,906 --> 00:20:57,604 but you gotta spend money to save money, right? 688 00:20:57,647 --> 00:20:58,996 - Mm-hmm. That sounds right. 689 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:00,041 - Hey, we should keep this going. 690 00:21:00,084 --> 00:21:01,825 Uh, the savings committee. 691 00:21:01,869 --> 00:21:03,784 We meet once a week, we order in sushi, 692 00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:05,742 and we brainstorm ways we can cut costs. 693 00:21:05,786 --> 00:21:07,962 - Mm, sushi sounds good right about now. 694 00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:09,703 - I know. You wanna go get something? 695 00:21:09,746 --> 00:21:11,966 I mean unless you're busy. No pressure. 696 00:21:12,009 --> 00:21:14,055 - Mm-mm. That sounds fun. - Awesome! 697 00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:15,491 - Have you heard of this place on Woodward? 698 00:21:15,535 --> 00:21:17,493 I heard it's really good, but it's, like, pricey. 699 00:21:17,537 --> 00:21:18,973 - Ah, we'll expense it. 700 00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:19,800 We just need to make sure we talk about business for, 701 00:21:19,843 --> 00:21:21,105 like, five seconds. 702 00:21:21,149 --> 00:21:22,498 - Okay, so like business, business, business, 703 00:21:22,542 --> 00:21:23,456 business, shrimp tempura. - Yep. 704 00:21:23,499 --> 00:21:24,674 - Yeah. - That's it.