1
00:00:22,890 --> 00:00:24,758
Make sure
I'm in the frame.
2
00:00:24,892 --> 00:00:26,726
Make sure you get my head.
I want to see my hair.
3
00:00:26,861 --> 00:00:28,662
- All right, all right.
- Janis, hurry up!
4
00:00:28,795 --> 00:00:30,031
It's not easy
making a movie.
5
00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:31,731
You better not
drop my phone.
6
00:00:32,365 --> 00:00:33,500
You got it?
7
00:00:33,633 --> 00:00:35,468
Yep. Yep. Yep.
Okay, here we go.
8
00:00:35,602 --> 00:00:37,071
- Hey... Oh, Lord.
- Shit.
9
00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:39,173
We're Cloverfielding.
Pick it up.
10
00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,508
- Give me a minute.
- Make sure I'm in the frame, girl.
11
00:00:41,641 --> 00:00:44,544
Give me a minute!
Am I in the frame?
12
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:45,813
- I'm in there?
- Yes.
13
00:00:45,947 --> 00:00:47,281
Get me in the frame?
Yeah.
14
00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:48,448
You got my head in there?
Yeah.
15
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:50,717
Boom, let's go.
16
00:00:50,852 --> 00:00:53,221
♪ It's a cautionary tale ♪
17
00:00:53,353 --> 00:00:54,989
♪ Of fear and lust and pride ♪
18
00:00:55,122 --> 00:00:59,392
♪ Based on actual events
Where people died ♪
19
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:00,727
No one died.
20
00:01:00,862 --> 00:01:01,896
♪ But how far
Would you go ♪
21
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:04,497
♪ To be popular and hot? ♪
22
00:01:04,631 --> 00:01:07,235
♪ Would you resist temptation? ♪
23
00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,602
♪ No, you would not! ♪
24
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:10,370
♪ Just admit it sometimes ♪
25
00:01:10,503 --> 00:01:15,542
♪ Mean is what you are
Mean is easier than nice ♪
26
00:01:15,675 --> 00:01:18,545
♪ And though mean
Can take you far ♪
27
00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:22,016
♪ Maybe this will
Make you think twice ♪
28
00:01:22,149 --> 00:01:23,818
Spin. Clicker. Fosse!
29
00:01:23,951 --> 00:01:27,721
♪ This is a cautionary tale ♪
30
00:01:28,655 --> 00:01:30,825
♪ About corruption
And betrayal ♪
31
00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:33,227
♪ And getting hit by a bus! ♪
32
00:01:33,361 --> 00:01:36,596
♪ You can't buy integrity ♪
33
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:41,836
♪ At the mall
It's not for sale ♪
34
00:01:41,969 --> 00:01:42,769
Truth.
35
00:01:42,904 --> 00:01:46,539
♪ This is a cautionary ♪
36
00:01:46,673 --> 00:01:52,980
♪ Tale! ♪
37
00:02:09,964 --> 00:02:11,564
♪ I used
To think I would spend ♪
38
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:14,668
♪ Every second I have ♪
39
00:02:15,435 --> 00:02:18,005
♪ Right where my story began ♪
40
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:21,675
♪ I'd be happy here ♪
41
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:24,345
♪ Every day, month
Year of my life ♪
42
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:28,916
♪ But now I'm wishing
For whatever comes
After goodbye ♪
43
00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:32,752
♪ On every star in the sky ♪
44
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:38,859
♪ And I'm dreaming of
What I could become ♪
45
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:42,063
♪ This is where home will be ♪
46
00:02:42,196 --> 00:02:45,732
♪ As long as my lungs
Can breathe ♪
47
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:49,370
♪ But my heart is dyin'
To leave ♪
48
00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:52,139
♪ 'Cause I know there's more
To me ♪
49
00:02:52,273 --> 00:02:54,574
♪ I don't want to live with
What ifs... ♪
50
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:55,943
Cady?
51
00:02:56,077 --> 00:02:57,878
I've been thinking
about what you said.
52
00:02:58,012 --> 00:03:00,780
About being frustrated
by my decision
53
00:03:00,915 --> 00:03:02,482
and feeling
a little stuck here,
54
00:03:02,615 --> 00:03:03,683
just me and you.
55
00:03:03,818 --> 00:03:05,186
I'm sorry I yelled.
56
00:03:05,319 --> 00:03:07,355
But you have a point.
57
00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:08,655
Maybe I've been
a little selfish,
58
00:03:08,788 --> 00:03:10,358
putting my research ahead
59
00:03:10,490 --> 00:03:12,159
of your social
and emotional development.
60
00:03:12,293 --> 00:03:14,395
I called the people
from Northwestern back.
61
00:03:14,527 --> 00:03:15,896
I took the job.
62
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:17,764
What?
63
00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,467
But they need me
to start on September 9th.
64
00:03:19,599 --> 00:03:23,137
♪ I don't want to live
With what ifs, might haves ♪
65
00:03:23,270 --> 00:03:26,874
♪ Could have been if I had ♪
Cady?
66
00:03:27,008 --> 00:03:31,479
♪ Only tried, not held back
Oh, no ♪
67
00:03:31,611 --> 00:03:33,381
♪ That's not a part of my plan ♪
68
00:03:33,513 --> 00:03:36,851
♪ That's not the me that I
That's not the me that I am ♪
69
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:39,753
♪ This time
There's no lookin' back ♪
70
00:03:40,821 --> 00:03:44,258
♪ I'm crossing things
Off my list ♪
71
00:03:44,392 --> 00:03:48,062
♪ Don't want to run out of time
Before I wake up and find ♪
72
00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:50,831
♪ There was a life
That I missed ♪
73
00:03:51,765 --> 00:03:54,701
♪ My limit doesn't exist ♪
74
00:04:04,577 --> 00:04:06,180
I'll pick you up at 3:00.
75
00:04:12,153 --> 00:04:15,990
♪ I don't want to live
With what ifs, might haves ♪
76
00:04:16,123 --> 00:04:19,793
♪ Could have been if I had ♪
77
00:04:19,927 --> 00:04:23,797
♪ Only tried, not held back
Oh, no ♪
78
00:04:23,931 --> 00:04:27,368
♪ That's not a part of my plan
That's not the me that I am ♪
79
00:04:27,501 --> 00:04:30,337
♪ No what ifs, regrets ♪
80
00:04:30,471 --> 00:04:34,075
♪ Wear my strengths
And weakness ♪
81
00:04:34,208 --> 00:04:38,446
♪ I won't hide my feelings
Oh, no ♪
82
00:04:38,578 --> 00:04:41,614
♪ That's not a part of my plan
That's not the... ♪
83
00:04:41,748 --> 00:04:43,818
Bitch, move.
84
00:04:53,027 --> 00:04:54,562
Hope you all
had a good summer.
85
00:04:54,694 --> 00:04:55,930
Mine was pretty good.
86
00:04:56,063 --> 00:04:58,499
I worked
in my brother-in-law's
87
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,134
golf pro shop.
88
00:05:00,267 --> 00:05:03,070
Did not make a lot of money,
so of course I am back
89
00:05:03,204 --> 00:05:06,173
to help shepherd you all
into the future.
90
00:05:11,846 --> 00:05:13,613
May I have everyone's
attention, please?
91
00:05:13,746 --> 00:05:16,016
Eyes to the front of the room.
92
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:19,120
You may notice
we have a new student
joining us today.
93
00:05:19,253 --> 00:05:20,955
She just moved here
from Kentucky.
94
00:05:21,088 --> 00:05:21,822
Kenya.
95
00:05:21,956 --> 00:05:24,391
Kenya. Her name is Caddy.
96
00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:26,127
It's Cady. Cady Heron.
97
00:05:26,260 --> 00:05:28,761
My apologies.
I will commit that to memory.
98
00:05:28,896 --> 00:05:32,699
Cady, like the Canadian
songstress k.d. lang,
99
00:05:32,833 --> 00:05:36,270
and Heron,
like the illegal street drug.
100
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,906
Thank you, Caddy.
It's Cady.
101
00:05:39,039 --> 00:05:41,708
Cady, hi. I'm Ms. Norbury.
I'll be your homeroom teacher.
102
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:43,043
This is your roster.
103
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,879
I see I also have you
for A.P. Calculus.
104
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:47,047
You must have had excellent
teachers at your old school.
105
00:05:47,181 --> 00:05:48,883
Oh, I was homeschooled.
Homeschooled?
106
00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:51,718
Oh, that's a fun way
to take jobs from my union.
107
00:05:51,852 --> 00:05:53,120
No, I'm joking. It's fine.
Ah.
108
00:05:53,254 --> 00:05:55,089
Um, do you think you can
follow this schedule?
109
00:05:55,222 --> 00:05:56,891
Yeah, I think so.
Okay, you're gonna be moving
110
00:05:57,024 --> 00:05:58,626
from class to class
with each...
111
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,362
That's it.
112
00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:03,796
Everybody find a seat.
113
00:06:04,331 --> 00:06:05,232
Please.
114
00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:10,838
This is first period:
115
00:06:10,971 --> 00:06:12,439
American Literature.
116
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,441
♪ My name is Mister Rapp ♪
117
00:06:14,575 --> 00:06:16,877
♪ And I take no...? ♪
118
00:06:18,512 --> 00:06:21,315
♪ My name is Mister Rapp
And I take no...? ♪
119
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:23,150
"...care of myself"?
120
00:06:23,284 --> 00:06:28,155
"Crap."
Correct answer was "crap."
121
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:30,591
Find a seat.
122
00:06:30,723 --> 00:06:32,393
I don't want you
to think of me
123
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:33,861
as just any other teacher.
124
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:35,296
I prefer to think of myself
125
00:06:35,429 --> 00:06:37,298
as a time traveler.
126
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:41,235
Maintenant nous choisissons
nos noms français.
127
00:06:41,902 --> 00:06:43,370
Cady. Comment tu t'appelles?
128
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,738
Je m'appelle Cady.
Incorrecte!
129
00:06:45,873 --> 00:06:48,375
You have to pick
a French name.
130
00:06:48,509 --> 00:06:49,677
All the French people I know
131
00:06:49,810 --> 00:06:51,879
just call me Cady.
132
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:53,914
Just say Marie.
133
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,450
Um... Marie?
134
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,018
Marie.
135
00:06:58,152 --> 00:07:00,621
J'anice.
J'anice.
136
00:07:00,753 --> 00:07:03,324
Chanel.
Non.
137
00:07:03,457 --> 00:07:04,757
Fantine.
Non.
138
00:07:04,892 --> 00:07:06,193
Celine Dion?
139
00:07:06,327 --> 00:07:07,328
Non.
140
00:07:07,794 --> 00:07:09,196
Beyoncé.
141
00:07:09,330 --> 00:07:11,131
Quais. Mais non.
142
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,703
Welcome to "Health
and Human Sexuality."
143
00:07:15,836 --> 00:07:18,038
Now, this fall
we'll be getting
144
00:07:18,172 --> 00:07:21,308
into the state-mandated unit
on Abstinence.
145
00:07:21,442 --> 00:07:23,210
Of course then followed by,
in the spring,
146
00:07:23,344 --> 00:07:25,045
Condoms and Choking.
147
00:07:25,179 --> 00:07:27,715
Where do you think
you're going there, hotshot?
148
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:29,483
I need to urinate.
149
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:30,718
No way, José.
150
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,386
Uh, it's Cady.
151
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:33,721
Well, Cady,
152
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:35,788
first thing you need to do
is ask permission.
153
00:07:35,923 --> 00:07:37,458
But the second thing
you'll need
154
00:07:37,591 --> 00:07:39,593
is this lavatory pass
155
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,595
that is shaped
like a sperm whale.
156
00:07:41,729 --> 00:07:42,963
Get it?
157
00:07:43,430 --> 00:07:44,632
Um...
158
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,700
May I please have
the lavatory pass?
159
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,936
No, you may not.
You may go sit back down.
160
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,771
You can go at lunch.
Nice try, kiddo.
161
00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:53,207
All right,
let's jump into this!
162
00:07:53,340 --> 00:07:55,876
This won't be awkward at all,
I swear to God.
163
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,329
Are you okay in there?
164
00:08:48,462 --> 00:08:49,630
Uh, yes.
165
00:08:49,763 --> 00:08:51,332
'Cause you've been in there
a very long time.
166
00:08:51,465 --> 00:08:52,866
We're concerned
you're either doing drugs
167
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,368
or having a toilet baby.
168
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,439
Hi. I'm Janis.
169
00:08:58,572 --> 00:09:00,374
And je m'appelle Sasha Fierce.
170
00:09:00,507 --> 00:09:01,575
This is Damian.
171
00:09:01,709 --> 00:09:02,943
He is almost too gay
to function.
172
00:09:03,077 --> 00:09:05,379
But I push through.
I manage.
173
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:06,547
Hi.
174
00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:07,848
We've been
watching you all day.
175
00:09:07,981 --> 00:09:09,249
You're a mess.
176
00:09:09,383 --> 00:09:13,454
So we volunteer to amplify
your lunch experience.
177
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:16,457
Yeah, what Damian is saying is
we will help you, Caddy.
178
00:09:16,590 --> 00:09:20,728
Thanks so much.
Um... it's Cady.
179
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,996
Yeah.
I'm gonna call you Caddy.
180
00:09:23,697 --> 00:09:24,765
Get out of the toilet!
181
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,367
Mkay.
182
00:09:26,500 --> 00:09:29,503
You just need to find
your clique and commit to it.
183
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:30,938
You have your Jocks.
184
00:09:32,906 --> 00:09:35,576
Your Corny Horny Band Freaks.
185
00:09:38,946 --> 00:09:40,314
Your Classic Burnouts.
186
00:09:42,116 --> 00:09:43,217
Do any of these feel
like your people?
187
00:09:43,350 --> 00:09:45,219
- I don't think so.
- Hmm...
188
00:09:45,352 --> 00:09:47,187
You know what might
be cute for her?
189
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:48,489
What, Grade Grubbers?
190
00:09:48,622 --> 00:09:50,891
No, I was gonna say
Theater Mess.
191
00:09:56,697 --> 00:09:58,298
And who's at that table?
192
00:09:58,432 --> 00:10:00,835
Oh, no, no, no.
193
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,302
We call them the Plastics
194
00:10:02,436 --> 00:10:04,104
'cause they're shiny,
fake and hard.
195
00:10:04,238 --> 00:10:05,773
Yeah, that's Gretchen Wieners.
196
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:08,008
She knows everything
about everybody.
197
00:10:08,142 --> 00:10:09,777
That's why
her hair's so big.
198
00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,545
It's full of secrets.
199
00:10:11,678 --> 00:10:12,980
And that's Karen Shetty.
200
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:14,581
She's the dumbest person
you'll ever meet.
201
00:10:14,715 --> 00:10:18,252
I once saw her put a D
in the word "orange."
202
00:10:20,921 --> 00:10:23,257
Could I just sit
with you guys?
203
00:10:23,924 --> 00:10:25,225
I actually don't know.
204
00:10:25,359 --> 00:10:26,727
We've never been asked
that question before.
205
00:10:26,861 --> 00:10:27,896
Could she?
206
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:30,130
We are very exclusive,
207
00:10:30,264 --> 00:10:33,700
but I think we can make
an exception.
208
00:10:35,804 --> 00:10:38,038
What was that?
Oh, Lord, it's the Queen Bee.
Don't look her in the eye!
209
00:10:51,285 --> 00:10:56,290
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
210
00:10:57,157 --> 00:11:02,329
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
211
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:05,432
♪ Fear me, love me ♪
212
00:11:05,566 --> 00:11:09,203
♪ Stand and stare at me ♪
213
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:11,638
♪ And these? ♪
214
00:11:11,772 --> 00:11:13,440
♪ These are real ♪
215
00:11:13,574 --> 00:11:17,344
♪ I've got money and looks ♪
216
00:11:18,712 --> 00:11:23,183
♪ I am, like, drunk with power ♪
217
00:11:23,317 --> 00:11:28,857
♪ This whole school
Humps my leg ♪
218
00:11:28,989 --> 00:11:32,359
♪ Like a Chihuahua ♪
219
00:11:32,493 --> 00:11:37,598
♪ I'm the prettiest poison
You've ever seen ♪
220
00:11:37,731 --> 00:11:42,937
♪ That filter you use
Looks just like me ♪
221
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:47,842
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
222
00:11:47,976 --> 00:11:52,579
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
223
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:57,451
♪ I don't care who you are ♪
224
00:11:57,584 --> 00:12:00,120
♪ I don't care ♪
225
00:12:00,254 --> 00:12:07,327
♪ How you feel ♪
226
00:12:07,461 --> 00:12:08,562
You.
227
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:10,330
Yeah, you. Come here.
228
00:12:19,239 --> 00:12:20,440
Why don't I know you?
229
00:12:20,574 --> 00:12:23,577
I'm new. I just moved here
from Kenya.
230
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:25,212
Shut up.
231
00:12:25,746 --> 00:12:26,780
Shut up!
232
00:12:26,915 --> 00:12:28,415
I didn't say anything.
233
00:12:28,549 --> 00:12:30,217
You're, like, really pretty.
234
00:12:31,318 --> 00:12:33,287
Thanks.
So you agree?
235
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,788
You think
you're really pretty?
236
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:37,424
Oh, I don't know.
237
00:12:37,558 --> 00:12:40,727
You're an international
student. That is so fetch.
238
00:12:40,862 --> 00:12:41,963
What is "fetch"?
239
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:44,899
It's like slang
from an old movie.
240
00:12:45,033 --> 00:12:48,036
Juno, I think.
241
00:12:48,168 --> 00:12:49,403
Have you ever touched a tiger?
242
00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:52,040
Uh, no, those aren't
indigenous to Kenya.
243
00:12:52,172 --> 00:12:54,675
'Cause that's one
of my life goals.
244
00:12:54,809 --> 00:12:57,077
To not touch a tiger.
245
00:12:57,210 --> 00:12:59,179
Hey, new girl!
You want to see a trick?
246
00:12:59,313 --> 00:13:00,647
I can guess
any girl's bra size.
247
00:13:00,781 --> 00:13:02,783
All you got to do
is jump one time.
248
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:04,919
Ew, Jason!
Do me.
249
00:13:05,053 --> 00:13:06,420
Oh, my God, Jason.
250
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:09,423
You do not come to a party
at my house with Gretchen
251
00:13:09,556 --> 00:13:11,291
and then skeeze on the new girl
right in front of me.
252
00:13:11,425 --> 00:13:13,327
Do you want to have sex
with him?
253
00:13:13,460 --> 00:13:15,762
Oh, uh... no, thank you.
254
00:13:15,897 --> 00:13:16,998
Okay, then it's settled.
255
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,265
Jason, no one thinks
you're funny.
256
00:13:18,398 --> 00:13:19,533
Okay? And this thing
you're doing
257
00:13:19,666 --> 00:13:21,002
where you lower your voice
when you talk
258
00:13:21,134 --> 00:13:22,336
is making people really sad.
259
00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,338
Excuse me, anyone
who would like Jason Weems
260
00:13:24,471 --> 00:13:26,340
to go back
to his normal speaking voice,
261
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,608
please raise your hand.
262
00:13:31,913 --> 00:13:33,246
Yeah.
263
00:13:33,747 --> 00:13:34,916
Bitch.
264
00:13:35,049 --> 00:13:36,383
Wow.
265
00:13:36,516 --> 00:13:38,652
You're really gonna
get noticed around here.
266
00:13:39,353 --> 00:13:40,687
We should help you.
267
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,157
Can you give us some privacy
for a sec?
268
00:13:44,291 --> 00:13:46,526
Oh. Yeah, sure.
269
00:13:50,064 --> 00:13:52,366
I have your lunch!
270
00:13:53,567 --> 00:13:55,268
All right.
271
00:13:55,402 --> 00:13:57,371
So, we never really
do this, but...
272
00:13:57,504 --> 00:13:58,940
...you're invited
to eat lunch with us
273
00:13:59,073 --> 00:14:00,942
for the rest of the week.
Oh. Um...
274
00:14:01,075 --> 00:14:03,677
That's okay.
On Wednesdays,
we wear pink.
275
00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,415
They want me to have lunch
with them all week.
276
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:10,250
That is tits!
277
00:14:10,384 --> 00:14:11,752
She means "that's great."
278
00:14:11,886 --> 00:14:13,787
I don't really get why
you guys hate them so much.
279
00:14:13,921 --> 00:14:16,057
Regina seems kind of cool.
No, no...
280
00:14:16,189 --> 00:14:17,624
Regina George is not cool.
281
00:14:17,758 --> 00:14:19,526
She's a scum-sucking
life ruiner.
282
00:14:19,660 --> 00:14:22,229
Janis hates Regina
because when we were
in sixth grade,
283
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,564
she told everybody
that she was--
Hey, Damian!
284
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:25,632
What?
285
00:14:25,766 --> 00:14:26,566
Shall we not?
286
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,102
I am providing context.
287
00:14:28,235 --> 00:14:29,236
Caddy?
288
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,072
You should have lunch
with them
289
00:14:31,204 --> 00:14:33,007
and then report back
and tell us
290
00:14:33,141 --> 00:14:35,143
every stupid, moronic thing
they said.
291
00:14:35,275 --> 00:14:37,678
Spy on them? That's bad.
292
00:14:37,812 --> 00:14:39,346
No! Look at us.
293
00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:42,950
Would we ever ask you
to do something bad?
294
00:14:43,084 --> 00:14:44,785
Uh...
295
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,722
Okay.
Yes!
296
00:14:48,856 --> 00:14:50,958
Do you have a pink shirt
I can borrow?
297
00:14:51,092 --> 00:14:53,094
No!
Yes! What shade?
298
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,163
Welcome to A.P. Calculus.
299
00:14:55,295 --> 00:15:00,567
Congratulations.
You know more math
than 85% of Americans.
300
00:15:00,701 --> 00:15:03,838
But you will not rest
on your laurels this year.
301
00:15:03,971 --> 00:15:06,174
I plan to push you.
302
00:15:06,306 --> 00:15:07,474
So let's get started.
303
00:15:07,607 --> 00:15:10,610
Chapter One, "Limits
and Their Properties."
304
00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:12,212
What the heck are limits,
you say?
305
00:15:12,345 --> 00:15:13,647
If I write out the equation,
306
00:15:13,780 --> 00:15:16,683
"The limit as x approaches two
of ,"
307
00:15:16,818 --> 00:15:18,585
the function is what
we're taking the limit of.
308
00:15:18,719 --> 00:15:20,487
I don't expect you to know
how to do this yet.
309
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:21,989
The limit equals three.
310
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:24,025
That's right.
311
00:15:24,158 --> 00:15:25,392
Let's try another one.
312
00:15:25,525 --> 00:15:27,260
Find the value of k
313
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,429
for which the following
limit exists.
314
00:15:29,563 --> 00:15:31,966
K equals negative three.
Damn, girl!
315
00:15:33,800 --> 00:15:35,002
Wow.
316
00:15:36,003 --> 00:15:38,572
Are you trying to make
the rest of us feel dumb?
317
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:41,742
No, I... I'm not trying to.
It's just, uh, happening.
318
00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:45,947
Oh, okay, it's like that.
All right, um, well...
319
00:15:46,981 --> 00:15:48,482
challenge accepted.
320
00:15:55,823 --> 00:15:57,959
♪ When I was nine ♪
321
00:15:58,092 --> 00:15:59,426
♪ I fell in love ♪
322
00:15:59,559 --> 00:16:01,528
♪ This Peace Corps guy ♪
323
00:16:02,763 --> 00:16:05,599
♪ I waited hours
Inside his tent with flowers ♪
324
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:08,236
♪ Which made him laugh
Which made me cry ♪
325
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,770
♪ By 13 I gave up trying ♪
326
00:16:09,904 --> 00:16:13,074
♪ I decided I would be
A mathematician ♪
327
00:16:13,207 --> 00:16:14,574
♪ 'Cause math is real ♪
328
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,543
♪ I memorized a lot of pi ♪
329
00:16:16,676 --> 00:16:19,046
♪ Because addition
And subtraction and division ♪
330
00:16:19,180 --> 00:16:22,649
♪ Would never make me feel
So stupid with love ♪
331
00:16:22,783 --> 00:16:24,185
♪ I didn't get it ♪
332
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,121
♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
333
00:16:27,255 --> 00:16:30,158
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
334
00:16:30,290 --> 00:16:34,628
♪ I didn't get it
I didn't get it till now ♪
335
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:38,632
♪ Mm, mm, mm ♪
336
00:16:39,901 --> 00:16:42,536
♪ So thank you, math
For being there ♪
337
00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:44,939
♪ To bring me joy ♪
338
00:16:46,174 --> 00:16:47,774
♪ And thank you, math ♪
339
00:16:47,909 --> 00:16:50,912
♪ 'Cause now you've brought me
This cute boy ♪
340
00:16:51,045 --> 00:16:53,147
♪ He's like someone from TV ♪
341
00:16:53,281 --> 00:16:56,416
♪ He's like that guy
Who gives out roses
To those women ♪
342
00:16:56,550 --> 00:16:58,019
♪ His clothes, his grooming ♪
343
00:16:58,152 --> 00:17:00,154
♪ And he's a foot away from me ♪
344
00:17:00,288 --> 00:17:02,622
♪ With swoopy hair
And shiny eyes
That I could swim in ♪
345
00:17:02,756 --> 00:17:04,258
♪ He's live and in the room! ♪
346
00:17:10,865 --> 00:17:14,235
♪ And I'm stupid with love
I want to get it ♪
347
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:17,571
♪ I want to get it, but how? ♪
348
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,808
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
349
00:17:20,942 --> 00:17:25,012
♪ I want to get it
I didn't get it till now ♪
350
00:17:33,921 --> 00:17:36,891
♪ I'm astounded and nonplussed ♪
351
00:17:37,024 --> 00:17:39,861
♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪
352
00:17:39,994 --> 00:17:43,231
♪ Does this guy work out?
He must ♪
353
00:17:43,363 --> 00:17:46,100
♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪
354
00:17:46,234 --> 00:17:49,170
♪ Could that image
Be more hot? ♪
355
00:17:49,303 --> 00:17:52,173
♪ Let me just enjoy
That thought ♪
356
00:17:52,306 --> 00:17:55,375
♪ School was rough
But now it's not ♪
357
00:17:55,508 --> 00:17:57,611
♪ 'Cause now there's him ♪
358
00:17:57,744 --> 00:18:00,982
♪ Stupid with love
I didn't get it ♪
359
00:18:01,115 --> 00:18:04,085
♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
360
00:18:04,218 --> 00:18:07,188
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
361
00:18:07,321 --> 00:18:10,657
♪ I didn't get it
I didn't get it till now ♪
362
00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:18,332
I'm okay.
363
00:18:24,571 --> 00:18:27,241
Mom, you can't
pick me up like this.
364
00:18:27,375 --> 00:18:28,742
It's embarrassing.
365
00:18:31,279 --> 00:18:32,980
You can't wear a tank top
two days in a row
366
00:18:33,114 --> 00:18:36,350
and you can
only wear your hair
in a ponytail once a week.
367
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:37,852
So I guess
you've chosen today.
368
00:18:37,985 --> 00:18:41,856
Oh! And we only wear sweats
or track pants on Fridays.
369
00:18:41,989 --> 00:18:43,723
If you break any
of these rules,
370
00:18:43,858 --> 00:18:44,959
you can't sit with us.
371
00:18:45,092 --> 00:18:46,861
I mean, not just you,
like, any of us.
372
00:18:46,994 --> 00:18:48,595
Like if I wore sweatpants today,
373
00:18:48,728 --> 00:18:49,931
I'd have to
go sit over there...
374
00:18:50,064 --> 00:18:51,966
...with the Art Freaks.
375
00:18:54,567 --> 00:18:55,870
That seems fair.
376
00:18:56,003 --> 00:18:58,505
120 calories
and 48 calories from fat.
377
00:18:58,638 --> 00:18:59,572
What percent is that?
378
00:18:59,706 --> 00:19:02,143
Um, 48 into 120?
379
00:19:02,276 --> 00:19:04,045
There's no way of knowing.
380
00:19:04,946 --> 00:19:06,380
It's 40%.
381
00:19:06,513 --> 00:19:07,815
42 over 120
382
00:19:07,949 --> 00:19:10,117
equals x over 100,
and then you cross-multiply
383
00:19:10,251 --> 00:19:11,852
to get the value of x.
384
00:19:12,386 --> 00:19:14,021
Hmm.
385
00:19:14,155 --> 00:19:16,090
Whatever.
Um, I'm getting cheese fries.
386
00:19:22,096 --> 00:19:25,099
So, have you seen any guys
you think are cute yet?
387
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:30,637
Oh, um, well, actually,
there's this one guy
in my Calculus class.
388
00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:34,474
Ooh, a senior! Who is it?
Uh, Aaron Samuels.
389
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:38,112
You can't like Aaron Samuels!
That is Regina's ex-boyfriend!
No. No. Bad. Bad. Danger.
390
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:42,183
Wait. I thought she
dumped him for Shane Oman.
391
00:19:42,316 --> 00:19:43,483
Irregardless!
392
00:19:43,616 --> 00:19:44,852
Ex-boyfriends are
off-limits for friends.
393
00:19:44,986 --> 00:19:46,887
That's just, like,
the rules of feminism!
394
00:19:51,092 --> 00:19:51,993
Don't worry.
395
00:19:52,126 --> 00:19:54,561
I will never tell Regina
what you said.
396
00:19:54,694 --> 00:19:56,263
I am very trustworthy.
397
00:19:56,397 --> 00:19:59,100
Karen's had sex with 11 people
and I've never told anyone.
398
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:01,634
Yo, Golf Bird.
399
00:20:01,768 --> 00:20:03,838
Those fractions were tight.
What?
400
00:20:03,971 --> 00:20:07,074
"Caddy Heron." "Golf Bird."
401
00:20:07,208 --> 00:20:08,843
I don't like it.
I don't get it.
402
00:20:08,976 --> 00:20:12,146
I'm Kevin Ganatra.
I'm from your Calc class.
403
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:14,815
I sit diagonally from you.
404
00:20:14,949 --> 00:20:16,984
I'm also captain
of the North Shore Mathletes.
405
00:20:17,118 --> 00:20:20,921
We're a very chill, dope,
extracurricular option.
406
00:20:21,055 --> 00:20:22,589
You know,
serve your college rezzy
407
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:24,691
and your thirst for knolly.
Don't say "knolly."
408
00:20:24,825 --> 00:20:26,827
Also Ms. Norbury says
we get twice as much funding
409
00:20:26,961 --> 00:20:29,030
if we had a girl on the team,
so think about joining,
410
00:20:29,163 --> 00:20:30,831
because we'd love
to get jackets.
411
00:20:30,965 --> 00:20:32,766
Okay, yeah, sure.
Where do I...
412
00:20:32,900 --> 00:20:33,934
No, no,
you cannot join Mathletes.
413
00:20:34,068 --> 00:20:35,369
That is, like,
socially ruinous!
414
00:20:35,503 --> 00:20:38,305
Ew, no.
Why is he by our table?
415
00:20:38,439 --> 00:20:39,706
I can hear you, by the way.
416
00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:41,375
Can you hear me now?
417
00:20:41,509 --> 00:20:43,543
Bye.
418
00:20:43,676 --> 00:20:47,248
Uh, anyways,
uh, just take my card
in case you change your mind?
419
00:20:53,787 --> 00:20:56,424
God, you are so lucky
you have us to guide you.
420
00:20:56,556 --> 00:20:58,591
What are you doing
after school today?
421
00:20:58,725 --> 00:21:00,394
I want to give you some shoes.
422
00:21:03,197 --> 00:21:04,432
What kind of shoes?
423
00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,700
I have no idea. I guess, um,
something fancier than these?
424
00:21:08,135 --> 00:21:09,837
She's so rude!
425
00:21:09,970 --> 00:21:12,540
I mean, maybe
she's just being generous.
426
00:21:12,672 --> 00:21:14,707
Maybe we can have
a commensal relationship.
427
00:21:14,842 --> 00:21:16,977
What is that? I want one.
428
00:21:17,111 --> 00:21:20,780
So, in nature,
okay, so lions,
429
00:21:20,915 --> 00:21:22,682
they're the apex predators,
right?
430
00:21:22,817 --> 00:21:23,818
They're the top
of the food chain.
431
00:21:23,951 --> 00:21:26,320
They can kill anything
they want.
432
00:21:26,454 --> 00:21:28,289
But if you're a hyena, well,
433
00:21:28,422 --> 00:21:31,559
then you follow them around
and you eat the carcasses
that they leave behind.
434
00:21:31,691 --> 00:21:33,294
Whoa.
Gretchen Wieners is a hyena.
435
00:21:33,427 --> 00:21:34,361
Got it.
436
00:21:34,495 --> 00:21:36,163
No, I did not say that.
437
00:21:36,297 --> 00:21:38,566
I'm just saying, if you're
on Regina's good side...
438
00:21:38,698 --> 00:21:39,934
Whoa, Caddy! No, no, no.
439
00:21:40,067 --> 00:21:42,103
Regina George does not have
a good side, okay?
440
00:21:42,236 --> 00:21:44,004
If you go over
to her house today...
441
00:21:44,138 --> 00:21:45,306
I am not joking,
442
00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:47,842
be careful.
443
00:21:58,319 --> 00:22:00,221
♪ Don't be fooled by the pink ♪
444
00:22:00,354 --> 00:22:02,223
♪ She is not playing dolls ♪
445
00:22:02,356 --> 00:22:06,193
♪ She is stalking the halls
For the thrill of the kill ♪
446
00:22:06,327 --> 00:22:10,197
♪ Every person in school
Is aware of her stare ♪
447
00:22:10,331 --> 00:22:14,201
♪ When she tosses her hair
They go perfectly still ♪
448
00:22:14,335 --> 00:22:18,205
♪ All their eyes say
"Don't attack me" ♪
449
00:22:18,339 --> 00:22:22,209
♪ Watch them sweat
And pant and shake ♪
450
00:22:22,343 --> 00:22:26,713
♪ Every food chain
Has its acme ♪
451
00:22:26,847 --> 00:22:29,550
♪ Regina George eats steak ♪
452
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:34,355
♪ She's the queen of beasts
She can smell your fear ♪
453
00:22:34,488 --> 00:22:38,192
♪ In this biosphere
She's the apex predator ♪
454
00:22:38,325 --> 00:22:40,261
♪ Like a lioness ♪
455
00:22:40,394 --> 00:22:44,064
♪ Only with less fur
Do not mess with her ♪
456
00:22:44,198 --> 00:22:46,300
♪ She's the apex predator ♪
457
00:22:48,869 --> 00:22:51,704
Jason is crotch-sitting
Taylor Wedell.
458
00:22:52,506 --> 00:22:54,408
Absolutely not.
459
00:22:54,542 --> 00:22:56,143
♪ At the watering hole ♪
460
00:22:56,277 --> 00:22:58,012
♪ See the girls
Who weren't nice ♪
461
00:22:58,145 --> 00:23:00,381
♪ Have to scatter like mice ♪
462
00:23:00,514 --> 00:23:02,383
♪ From a jungle cat ♪
463
00:23:02,516 --> 00:23:06,120
♪ And though Janis is great
She does not have this power ♪
464
00:23:06,253 --> 00:23:08,556
♪ People literally cower ♪
465
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:10,057
♪ Janis can't do that ♪
466
00:23:10,191 --> 00:23:14,261
♪ See her mark her territory ♪
467
00:23:14,395 --> 00:23:17,498
♪ As they follow in her train ♪
468
00:23:18,532 --> 00:23:22,570
♪ They were victims
In their stories ♪
469
00:23:22,702 --> 00:23:26,240
♪ Now they shake their mane ♪
470
00:23:26,373 --> 00:23:30,044
♪ She's the queen of beasts
And you're in her pride ♪
471
00:23:30,177 --> 00:23:32,112
♪ You have hitched a ride ♪
472
00:23:32,246 --> 00:23:34,348
♪ With the apex predator ♪
473
00:23:34,481 --> 00:23:38,352
♪ And it's kind of fun
When she bares her claws ♪
474
00:23:38,485 --> 00:23:40,187
♪ You think
You're safe because ♪
475
00:23:40,321 --> 00:23:41,989
♪ You're with
The apex predator ♪
476
00:23:42,122 --> 00:23:44,191
Do you think she'll be mad
if I like Aaron?
477
00:23:44,325 --> 00:23:46,660
Samuels? Are you unwell?
You can't like
Aaron Samuels!
478
00:23:46,793 --> 00:23:47,727
Okay, okay!
479
00:23:47,861 --> 00:23:50,064
I'll be careful. I promise.
480
00:23:52,433 --> 00:23:56,036
♪ Do not think
You'll be protected ♪
481
00:23:56,170 --> 00:23:59,940
♪ By your new exotic pet ♪
482
00:24:00,074 --> 00:24:04,245
♪ Not a chance
If she suspected ♪
483
00:24:04,378 --> 00:24:07,848
♪ You were any kind
Of reproductive threat ♪
484
00:24:07,982 --> 00:24:09,917
♪ But she doesn't know yet ♪
485
00:24:10,050 --> 00:24:12,219
♪ She doesn't know yet! ♪
486
00:24:12,353 --> 00:24:16,290
♪ She's the queen of beasts
At this beastly school ♪
487
00:24:16,423 --> 00:24:20,394
♪ Got to keep things cool
With the apex predator! ♪
488
00:24:30,271 --> 00:24:31,338
Get in, loser.
489
00:24:34,375 --> 00:24:36,477
♪ With the apex predator! ♪
490
00:24:36,610 --> 00:24:40,714
♪ Will she braid your hair?
Will she eat your heart? ♪
491
00:24:40,848 --> 00:24:44,752
♪ How can you outsmart ♪
492
00:24:44,885 --> 00:24:46,854
♪ The apex predator? ♪
493
00:24:48,989 --> 00:24:50,357
♪ The apex predator? ♪
494
00:24:50,491 --> 00:24:52,826
♪ The apex predator! ♪
495
00:24:53,594 --> 00:24:56,964
You guys! Hey...
496
00:24:57,731 --> 00:25:00,301
Happy hump day, besties!
497
00:25:00,434 --> 00:25:03,203
Hi, Mrs. George.
498
00:25:03,337 --> 00:25:04,605
This is Cady.
499
00:25:04,738 --> 00:25:06,373
I just moved here.
From Kenya.
500
00:25:06,507 --> 00:25:10,778
Welcome, Cady from Kenya.
501
00:25:10,911 --> 00:25:14,882
We haven't had any new meat
in our little lady taco
in so long.
502
00:25:15,015 --> 00:25:16,083
Mom, go make snacks.
503
00:25:16,216 --> 00:25:17,951
For sure.
For sure, Regina, yeah.
504
00:25:18,085 --> 00:25:19,687
Thank you so much,
Mrs. George.
505
00:25:19,820 --> 00:25:21,488
You have a beautiful mansion.
506
00:25:21,622 --> 00:25:25,292
Just slay, queens.
Slay like no one's watching.
507
00:25:25,426 --> 00:25:28,429
But everybody's watching.
Because you're gorgeous!
508
00:25:33,367 --> 00:25:35,369
Wow, your room is really nice.
509
00:25:35,502 --> 00:25:39,306
Thanks.
It used to be my parents',
but I made them trade me.
510
00:25:47,114 --> 00:25:50,317
Cady! I made you
a Spotify playlist
511
00:25:50,451 --> 00:25:52,519
to help you catch up
on culture.
512
00:25:52,653 --> 00:25:55,956
Karen, come here.
I want to fix your eyebrows.
513
00:25:56,090 --> 00:25:57,057
Can I still have two?
514
00:25:57,191 --> 00:25:59,660
Gretchen, move.
Sorry.
515
00:25:59,793 --> 00:26:02,463
God, my hips are so wide.
516
00:26:02,596 --> 00:26:03,997
God, my pores are huge!
517
00:26:04,131 --> 00:26:06,266
I want skin like Cady's.
518
00:26:07,134 --> 00:26:09,370
My B.O. smells like crayons.
519
00:26:12,106 --> 00:26:14,843
Um, me, too! I'm ugly, too.
520
00:26:14,975 --> 00:26:17,611
Oh, my God, I love her.
She's like a Martian.
521
00:26:17,745 --> 00:26:19,546
Who's hungry?
522
00:26:19,680 --> 00:26:20,914
Now, Cady,
523
00:26:21,048 --> 00:26:24,551
this is a very American snack
called guac.
524
00:26:24,685 --> 00:26:26,855
Is it okay or are you vegan?
525
00:26:27,020 --> 00:26:28,889
Oh, no, I'm an omnivore.
526
00:26:29,022 --> 00:26:30,924
Yum-yum-yum. Okay, come here!
527
00:26:31,058 --> 00:26:33,627
I need you
to tell me everything.
528
00:26:33,761 --> 00:26:36,897
Have you seen any boys
that you think are cute yet?
529
00:26:37,030 --> 00:26:40,367
Oh. Uh, well, I...
530
00:26:40,501 --> 00:26:41,668
No.
531
00:26:41,803 --> 00:26:44,037
Well, don't worry.
It's just a matter of time.
532
00:26:44,171 --> 00:26:48,075
You know, I always say
that this school district
has the highest taxes,
533
00:26:48,208 --> 00:26:50,577
but the hottest boys.
That's disgusting.
534
00:26:50,711 --> 00:26:53,180
Oh, Regina!
You're never gonna believe
what I found
535
00:26:53,313 --> 00:26:54,715
in your closet this morning.
536
00:26:54,849 --> 00:26:56,183
Why were you in my closet?
537
00:26:56,316 --> 00:26:58,085
Because I'm doing
that Japanese organizing thing
538
00:26:58,218 --> 00:27:00,822
where you take a little nap
in the closet.
539
00:27:02,356 --> 00:27:05,359
I found your Burn Book!
540
00:27:05,492 --> 00:27:08,495
Cady, this is just, like,
the funniest thing
541
00:27:08,629 --> 00:27:09,663
that the girls used to do.
542
00:27:09,797 --> 00:27:11,231
- Please leave.
- You got it, baby.
543
00:27:11,365 --> 00:27:13,066
But, girls, I'm gonna be
right downstairs
544
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:14,768
if you need to talk to me
about anything.
545
00:27:14,903 --> 00:27:19,006
I mean it. Deep stuff
or boy troubles or blackheads
546
00:27:19,139 --> 00:27:21,275
or alcohol poisoning.
547
00:27:21,408 --> 00:27:23,610
You know, I have
been through it all.
548
00:27:23,744 --> 00:27:26,146
Honey, I am not a regular mom.
549
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:29,116
I'm @coolmom with six O's.
550
00:27:29,249 --> 00:27:31,251
Hashtag AgingHotly. Hashtag...
551
00:27:31,385 --> 00:27:33,287
- Get out.
- Okay.
552
00:27:33,420 --> 00:27:35,656
Girls, just have so much fun.
553
00:27:35,789 --> 00:27:40,461
Remember,
these are the best days
of your life.
554
00:27:41,395 --> 00:27:43,664
It does not get better.
555
00:27:46,066 --> 00:27:50,003
I remember this.
It was the week they took
all of our phones away.
556
00:27:52,272 --> 00:27:55,275
"Trang Pham is
a grotsky little byotch."
557
00:27:55,409 --> 00:27:56,845
Still true.
558
00:27:56,977 --> 00:27:59,881
"Dawn Schweitzer
is a horny shrimp."
559
00:28:00,013 --> 00:28:01,448
Well, she's taller now.
560
00:28:01,582 --> 00:28:05,452
Oh, my God.
"Janis 'Imi'ike, Pyro-Lez."
561
00:28:05,586 --> 00:28:06,821
I forgot about that.
562
00:28:06,955 --> 00:28:08,355
Oh, my God, she is so weird.
563
00:28:08,489 --> 00:28:10,357
She is? She's in my homeroom.
564
00:28:10,491 --> 00:28:13,393
Oh, well, watch out,
'cause she's violent.
565
00:28:13,527 --> 00:28:15,562
Yeah, people think
she's really good at art,
566
00:28:15,696 --> 00:28:17,698
but it's just 'cause
she had to do art therapy.
567
00:28:17,832 --> 00:28:20,467
Yeah, Regina tried
to be friends with her
in middle school.
568
00:28:20,601 --> 00:28:22,102
Oh, my God,
she was obsessed with me.
569
00:28:22,236 --> 00:28:24,638
And then when I got
my first boyfriend, Kyle,
570
00:28:24,771 --> 00:28:26,773
she lit my backpack on fire.
571
00:28:28,242 --> 00:28:29,443
Who's that?
572
00:28:29,576 --> 00:28:31,745
Mmm...
That's that kid Damian.
573
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:34,515
Oh, yeah, he's almost too gay
to function.
574
00:28:36,016 --> 00:28:38,051
No, I didn't... I didn't
mean that in a bad way.
575
00:28:38,185 --> 00:28:40,354
No, that's funny.
Put that in there.
576
00:28:40,487 --> 00:28:41,555
Um...
577
00:28:42,523 --> 00:28:44,124
No, I don't...
Oh! No, no.
578
00:28:44,258 --> 00:28:46,426
Don't worry, Cady,
we only write stuff
about randos in here.
579
00:28:46,560 --> 00:28:49,831
Friends are, like,
very deserving of respect.
580
00:28:49,964 --> 00:28:52,533
Gretchen... she gets it.
581
00:28:53,100 --> 00:28:54,368
Go find the shoes.
582
00:28:56,270 --> 00:28:58,405
The shoes we're giving
to Cady.
583
00:28:58,539 --> 00:29:02,242
Oh, my God, you are literally
being so annoying.
584
00:29:03,845 --> 00:29:04,745
Sorry.
585
00:29:14,354 --> 00:29:15,656
Are you okay?
586
00:29:15,789 --> 00:29:17,724
No... uh, totally.
587
00:29:17,859 --> 00:29:19,459
Regina's just joking.
588
00:29:19,593 --> 00:29:21,595
These are cute. Try 'em.
589
00:29:23,597 --> 00:29:26,099
Once I processed that Regina's
love language is anger,
590
00:29:26,233 --> 00:29:27,501
it's been much...
591
00:29:28,803 --> 00:29:30,838
Aw.
592
00:29:30,972 --> 00:29:34,241
It's the music box
I gave Regina
that my abuelito gave me.
593
00:29:43,650 --> 00:29:46,286
♪ Tell me
What's wrong with me ♪
594
00:29:46,420 --> 00:29:49,256
♪ My body, face, my hair ♪
595
00:29:50,090 --> 00:29:53,560
♪ Tell me all my many faults ♪
596
00:29:53,694 --> 00:29:55,462
♪ Tell me like you care ♪
597
00:29:55,596 --> 00:29:58,732
♪ When we both
Know you're cruel ♪
598
00:29:58,866 --> 00:30:02,202
♪ And we both know
You're right ♪
599
00:30:02,336 --> 00:30:05,405
♪ I could listen to you ♪
600
00:30:05,539 --> 00:30:08,508
♪ Like a fool all night ♪
601
00:30:08,642 --> 00:30:11,578
♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
602
00:30:11,712 --> 00:30:14,615
♪ How I speak?
How I dress? ♪
603
00:30:14,748 --> 00:30:18,251
♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
604
00:30:18,385 --> 00:30:21,722
♪ You keep me guessing ♪
605
00:30:21,856 --> 00:30:27,028
♪ Mama called me "beautiful"
Don't believe her anymore ♪
606
00:30:27,160 --> 00:30:30,464
♪ Now I'm listening to you ♪
607
00:30:30,597 --> 00:30:33,734
♪ What do I do that for? ♪
608
00:30:33,868 --> 00:30:40,173
♪ Please don't ignore me ♪
609
00:30:45,145 --> 00:30:46,213
Gretchen!
610
00:30:46,346 --> 00:30:47,915
What are you doing in there?
611
00:30:48,049 --> 00:30:49,349
I'm... I'm gonna go.
612
00:30:49,483 --> 00:30:51,819
Yep. Be right there!
613
00:30:56,657 --> 00:30:58,725
♪ What's wrong with me?
What can I do? ♪
614
00:30:58,860 --> 00:31:01,528
♪ What's wrong with me?
Could it be you? ♪
615
00:31:01,662 --> 00:31:03,196
♪ It's probably me ♪
616
00:31:03,330 --> 00:31:06,067
♪ See that? You see? ♪
617
00:31:06,199 --> 00:31:09,202
♪ What's wrong with me? ♪
618
00:31:22,549 --> 00:31:24,886
They have this book,
this "Burn Book,"
619
00:31:25,019 --> 00:31:27,187
where they write mean things
about girls in our grade.
620
00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,623
Ooh, ooh! What does
it say about me?
621
00:31:30,290 --> 00:31:32,559
Um... you're not in it.
622
00:31:32,994 --> 00:31:34,227
Those bitches!
623
00:31:34,361 --> 00:31:35,897
What is this, by the way?
It's terrible.
624
00:31:36,030 --> 00:31:37,464
Oh, it's a Kälteen bar.
625
00:31:37,597 --> 00:31:39,633
Here, my mom used to give them
to elderly people in Kapedo
626
00:31:39,766 --> 00:31:42,070
to help them
gain weight.
Mmm.
627
00:31:42,202 --> 00:31:43,737
I can feel it working.
628
00:31:43,871 --> 00:31:46,306
We should, like, crush this up
and put it in Regina's food!
629
00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:47,909
What?
Oh.
630
00:31:48,042 --> 00:31:49,342
No. No, no.
631
00:31:49,476 --> 00:31:51,244
I will keep having
lunch with them, that's it.
632
00:31:51,378 --> 00:31:54,381
Also, we feel bad
we yelled at you
633
00:31:54,514 --> 00:31:56,150
about liking Aaron.
634
00:31:56,283 --> 00:31:58,418
You should go
for what you want.
635
00:31:58,552 --> 00:32:00,687
Hetero allyship.
Oh, okay.
636
00:32:00,822 --> 00:32:03,523
It's so dumb. I only
ever see him in Calc anyway.
637
00:32:03,657 --> 00:32:07,294
Oh. You're definitely
safe in Calc.
638
00:32:07,427 --> 00:32:09,496
Regina will never set foot
in there.
639
00:32:22,676 --> 00:32:24,846
New shoes?
Uh, yeah.
640
00:32:24,979 --> 00:32:26,413
Regina gave them to me.
641
00:32:26,546 --> 00:32:28,950
Huh. I didn't know
you guys were friends.
642
00:32:29,083 --> 00:32:31,018
Okay, let's get back into it.
643
00:32:31,152 --> 00:32:32,586
Continuity.
Removable discont...
644
00:32:32,719 --> 00:32:34,354
Cady? Eyes up front, please.
645
00:32:35,455 --> 00:32:37,557
Let's get back
into where we were Thursday.
646
00:32:37,691 --> 00:32:39,927
Who was awake Thursday?
Who was still awake?
647
00:32:41,495 --> 00:32:43,263
I like your jacket.
648
00:32:43,396 --> 00:32:44,564
Thanks, I made it.
649
00:32:44,698 --> 00:32:46,466
But why do you sew
on top of your drawings?
650
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,369
It's... like the drawings
are facts
651
00:32:49,503 --> 00:32:50,905
and the threads are feelings.
652
00:32:51,038 --> 00:32:53,340
It's so cool.
653
00:32:55,609 --> 00:32:58,311
So, you talk to your man yet?
654
00:33:00,081 --> 00:33:01,883
I mean, I don't even
know what to say to him.
655
00:33:02,016 --> 00:33:05,186
I always come off sounding
like a lunatic.
656
00:33:05,318 --> 00:33:07,454
Do you like gum?
Sure.
657
00:33:08,488 --> 00:33:10,958
Oh, I don't have any.
I was just...
658
00:33:15,796 --> 00:33:19,599
What?
Why did you say that?
659
00:33:19,733 --> 00:33:23,403
Maybe just try to have
one successful interaction
per day?
660
00:33:26,207 --> 00:33:28,142
I like your shirt.
Thanks.
661
00:33:28,276 --> 00:33:30,845
It smells like sausage
from the last time I wore it.
662
00:33:34,248 --> 00:33:35,817
Dear God, woman.
663
00:33:35,950 --> 00:33:39,619
Have you successfully been
a functioning human being
even once?
664
00:33:41,022 --> 00:33:44,524
On October 3rd,
he asked me what day it was.
665
00:33:44,658 --> 00:33:47,295
What day is it?
It's October 3rd.
666
00:33:47,427 --> 00:33:51,331
♪ October 3rd ♪
667
00:33:51,464 --> 00:33:53,366
That was two weeks ago.
668
00:33:54,467 --> 00:33:55,769
But today I kind of...
669
00:33:55,903 --> 00:33:57,238
I don't know,
I tried something
670
00:33:57,370 --> 00:34:00,440
and it just came to me
instinctively.
671
00:34:02,109 --> 00:34:03,410
I said I was lost.
672
00:34:03,543 --> 00:34:06,446
I'm totally lost.
Can you help me?
673
00:34:07,248 --> 00:34:08,548
But I wasn't lost.
674
00:34:08,682 --> 00:34:10,151
I knew exactly what
Ms. Norbury was talking about.
675
00:34:10,284 --> 00:34:13,855
It's the derivative
of the natural log function.
676
00:34:13,988 --> 00:34:16,924
You just take the reciprocal
of the ln.
677
00:34:18,491 --> 00:34:19,593
Thanks.
678
00:34:20,594 --> 00:34:22,830
You're so smart.
679
00:34:24,932 --> 00:34:25,933
He was wrong.
680
00:34:26,067 --> 00:34:27,500
Wait, wait. Hold up.
681
00:34:27,634 --> 00:34:29,469
Guys, pause!
Oh.
682
00:34:32,405 --> 00:34:33,941
You pretended to be dumb
683
00:34:34,075 --> 00:34:36,576
so you could keep talking
to a guy?
684
00:34:36,710 --> 00:34:39,479
Uh... Yeah. It worked.
685
00:34:39,613 --> 00:34:41,349
'Cause that shit
always works, Caddy.
686
00:34:41,481 --> 00:34:42,850
It doesn't mean
that it's not evil.
687
00:34:42,984 --> 00:34:46,120
Fracking "works."
Red-lining "works."
688
00:34:46,254 --> 00:34:47,922
Gasoline and rags...
689
00:34:48,055 --> 00:34:50,457
Aren't you worried
Regina will eat your face
if she finds out?
690
00:34:50,590 --> 00:34:52,093
No, she won't find out.
691
00:34:52,226 --> 00:34:55,795
It's just my little
Calculus class secret.
692
00:34:55,930 --> 00:34:58,299
Oh, um...
693
00:34:58,431 --> 00:35:01,235
So its h prime of x
equals five.
694
00:35:01,369 --> 00:35:03,204
You just forgot
the Product Rule.
695
00:35:03,337 --> 00:35:05,106
I don't get any of this.
696
00:35:06,573 --> 00:35:07,540
Nice job, Cady.
697
00:35:07,674 --> 00:35:09,743
It sure seems like you get it.
698
00:35:15,116 --> 00:35:19,786
Hey, my friend Chris is, uh,
having a Halloween party.
699
00:35:19,921 --> 00:35:21,355
Would you want
to come to that?
700
00:35:21,521 --> 00:35:24,091
It's like a costume party.
People get pretty into it.
701
00:35:24,225 --> 00:35:25,692
Grool.
702
00:35:25,826 --> 00:35:28,829
I meant to say "great," and
then I started to say "cool."
703
00:35:28,963 --> 00:35:30,097
Okay.
704
00:35:30,865 --> 00:35:32,033
Grool.
705
00:35:37,537 --> 00:35:38,705
Hi.
706
00:35:38,839 --> 00:35:40,341
♪ If I could change the world ♪
707
00:35:40,473 --> 00:35:44,711
♪ I'd make it Halloween ♪
708
00:35:45,578 --> 00:35:48,416
♪ Every single day ♪
709
00:35:48,548 --> 00:35:51,819
♪ And also have world peace ♪
710
00:35:51,953 --> 00:35:54,922
♪ Maybe world peace
Should be first ♪
711
00:35:55,056 --> 00:35:57,657
♪ World peace
And then Halloween ♪
712
00:35:57,791 --> 00:35:59,526
Wait, let me start over.
713
00:36:02,495 --> 00:36:03,630
Hi.
714
00:36:03,763 --> 00:36:04,966
♪ If I could change the world ♪
715
00:36:05,099 --> 00:36:09,536
♪ I'd make us have world peace ♪
716
00:36:09,669 --> 00:36:13,473
♪ And also Halloween ♪
717
00:36:13,606 --> 00:36:15,843
♪ Every single day ♪
718
00:36:15,977 --> 00:36:17,345
♪ On Halloween ♪
719
00:36:17,477 --> 00:36:21,581
♪ You can pretend
To be someone else ♪
720
00:36:21,715 --> 00:36:24,185
♪ It's like the Internet ♪
721
00:36:24,318 --> 00:36:30,391
♪ Only in person
And with candy ♪
722
00:36:30,523 --> 00:36:33,461
Wait. Mama,
use the back camera.
723
00:36:33,593 --> 00:36:36,897
It's prettier 'cause science.
724
00:36:37,031 --> 00:36:38,765
♪ When you are
The hot one ♪
725
00:36:38,899 --> 00:36:40,401
♪ It's a full-time gig ♪
726
00:36:40,533 --> 00:36:43,471
♪ Lookin' like what people
Want to see ♪
727
00:36:43,603 --> 00:36:47,308
♪ Once a year I'm not
I dress up and dream big ♪
728
00:36:47,441 --> 00:36:49,676
♪ Disguised as someone else
Who is not me ♪
729
00:36:49,810 --> 00:36:51,379
♪ But is still hot! ♪
730
00:36:51,511 --> 00:36:52,612
♪ I can be ♪
731
00:36:52,746 --> 00:36:55,082
♪ Who I want to be and sexy! ♪
732
00:36:55,216 --> 00:36:58,386
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and hot! ♪
733
00:36:58,518 --> 00:37:02,189
♪ Don't like who you are
Then hit that costume shop ♪
734
00:37:02,323 --> 00:37:05,993
♪ Rock a new
And different sexy look ♪
735
00:37:06,127 --> 00:37:09,230
♪ Why be so downhearted?
Blast some trashy pop ♪
736
00:37:09,363 --> 00:37:12,665
♪ And drop it to this hot
And sexy hook ♪
737
00:37:12,799 --> 00:37:16,837
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and sexy! ♪
738
00:37:16,971 --> 00:37:20,508
♪ I can be
Who I want to be and hot! ♪
739
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:23,610
♪ Be somebody new ♪
740
00:37:23,743 --> 00:37:27,747
♪ Do a total transformation ♪
741
00:37:27,882 --> 00:37:31,318
♪ Animal or mineral, too ♪
742
00:37:31,452 --> 00:37:35,389
♪ Or even vegetation! ♪
743
00:37:35,523 --> 00:37:36,991
I give you sexy corn.
744
00:37:37,124 --> 00:37:40,428
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
745
00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:43,197
♪ And sexy! ♪
746
00:37:54,108 --> 00:37:55,742
Why are you dressed so scary?
747
00:37:55,876 --> 00:37:57,044
It's Halloween.
748
00:37:57,178 --> 00:37:58,745
Cady,
if you don't dress slutty,
749
00:37:58,879 --> 00:38:00,815
that is slut-shaming us.
750
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:09,390
Um, it's just,
like, traditionally,
751
00:38:09,523 --> 00:38:10,991
girls had to be witches
or clowns
752
00:38:11,125 --> 00:38:14,195
and we've worked really hard
to progress past that.
753
00:38:14,328 --> 00:38:16,163
That makes sense.
754
00:38:18,532 --> 00:38:20,468
I'm gonna go find Aaron.
755
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:21,836
Okay.
756
00:38:23,971 --> 00:38:26,606
♪ A sexy Quint
From sexy Jaws ♪
757
00:38:26,739 --> 00:38:28,175
♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪
758
00:38:28,309 --> 00:38:31,644
♪ Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt
Or sexy Joan of Arc ♪
759
00:38:31,778 --> 00:38:35,449
♪ I can be a sexy pirate
Or a sexy ballet dancer ♪
760
00:38:35,583 --> 00:38:40,521
♪ I can be a sexy doctor
And cure some sexy cancer! ♪
761
00:38:40,653 --> 00:38:42,857
That's not right,
is it?
No.
762
00:38:43,723 --> 00:38:45,526
I can sexy cure some cancer?
763
00:38:45,658 --> 00:38:47,128
No.
764
00:38:47,261 --> 00:38:49,029
I can cure sex cancer!
765
00:38:49,163 --> 00:38:51,298
Sex cancer doesn't exist.
766
00:38:51,432 --> 00:38:53,534
I did it.
767
00:38:53,666 --> 00:38:54,535
Dance break.
768
00:39:06,746 --> 00:39:08,748
♪ Happy Halloween! ♪
769
00:39:12,019 --> 00:39:15,623
♪ This is
Modern feminism talkin' ♪
770
00:39:15,788 --> 00:39:19,493
♪ Watch me as I run the world
In shoes I cannot walk in ♪
771
00:39:19,627 --> 00:39:22,830
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
772
00:39:22,963 --> 00:39:26,534
♪ And sex... sex ♪
773
00:39:26,666 --> 00:39:30,938
♪ Sexy! ♪
774
00:39:32,106 --> 00:39:34,875
I'm a sexy mouse. Duh!
775
00:39:38,612 --> 00:39:40,080
Hey.
Hi.
776
00:39:40,214 --> 00:39:41,348
Cady!
777
00:39:41,482 --> 00:39:42,883
Hi!
778
00:39:43,017 --> 00:39:45,152
- Ow.
- Hey.
779
00:39:45,286 --> 00:39:46,921
I like your costume.
780
00:39:47,054 --> 00:39:48,856
Different
from everyone else's.
781
00:39:48,989 --> 00:39:51,724
I didn't know
I was supposed to...
782
00:39:53,027 --> 00:39:54,662
I'm such a weird
foreign loser.
783
00:39:54,794 --> 00:39:56,463
No. It's great.
784
00:39:57,697 --> 00:39:58,798
You want a drink?
785
00:39:58,933 --> 00:40:01,168
Thanks.
Uh, do they have juice?
786
00:40:02,536 --> 00:40:04,371
I can check. Wait here.
787
00:40:06,907 --> 00:40:09,776
I think you and Aaron
would be a really cute couple.
788
00:40:09,910 --> 00:40:11,045
Really?
Yeah.
789
00:40:11,178 --> 00:40:12,479
I just said so.
Don't be thirsty.
790
00:40:12,613 --> 00:40:15,849
You know, I could talk
to him for you. If you want.
791
00:40:15,983 --> 00:40:18,085
See if he likes you back.
792
00:40:18,219 --> 00:40:20,354
You would do that for me?
Mm-hmm.
793
00:40:20,487 --> 00:40:23,324
Trust me. I know exactly
how to play it.
794
00:40:26,894 --> 00:40:29,196
I need to talk to you.
Me?
795
00:40:29,330 --> 00:40:31,031
I thought you were done
talking to me
796
00:40:31,165 --> 00:40:32,633
when you started talking
to Shane last summer.
797
00:40:32,765 --> 00:40:36,403
Shut up. 'Cause you know
that homeschooled girl, Cady?
798
00:40:37,504 --> 00:40:39,106
Yeah, I invited her tonight.
799
00:40:40,174 --> 00:40:41,809
Yeah, well, be careful.
800
00:40:41,942 --> 00:40:43,611
'Cause she has
a huge crush on you.
801
00:40:43,743 --> 00:40:46,447
Really?
802
00:40:46,580 --> 00:40:48,215
Don't be gross.
803
00:40:48,748 --> 00:40:50,317
She's my friend and...
804
00:40:50,451 --> 00:40:54,421
...she's, like, really
inexperienced and, um...
805
00:40:59,994 --> 00:41:02,196
Wow, sorry.
806
00:41:02,329 --> 00:41:04,465
I didn't think this
would be so hard for me.
807
00:41:04,598 --> 00:41:05,666
What?
808
00:41:05,798 --> 00:41:07,101
I don't know,
I guess I just...
809
00:41:07,234 --> 00:41:10,471
just have, like, a lot
of, like, unresolved trauma
810
00:41:10,604 --> 00:41:12,273
from how things ended with us.
811
00:41:12,406 --> 00:41:13,974
Give me a break.
812
00:41:17,678 --> 00:41:18,912
Regina.
813
00:41:20,848 --> 00:41:22,583
Regina.
Leave me alone.
814
00:41:22,716 --> 00:41:24,518
G, why are you upset?
815
00:41:24,652 --> 00:41:25,719
Please.
816
00:41:25,853 --> 00:41:28,889
What do you mean,
please? G!
817
00:41:41,468 --> 00:41:44,371
♪ Yes, I look perfect ♪
818
00:41:44,505 --> 00:41:46,940
♪ Ice Queen
That's what you see ♪
819
00:41:47,074 --> 00:41:50,277
♪ It's what they all expect
From me ♪
820
00:41:50,411 --> 00:41:53,213
♪ But it's all show ♪
821
00:41:53,347 --> 00:41:56,083
♪ Face it, you used me ♪
822
00:41:56,216 --> 00:41:58,952
♪ You saw the sexy clothes ♪
823
00:41:59,086 --> 00:42:02,856
♪ My supermodel pose ♪
824
00:42:02,990 --> 00:42:05,059
♪ What did you know? ♪
825
00:42:05,192 --> 00:42:08,195
♪ Was I a game to you? ♪
826
00:42:08,329 --> 00:42:11,065
♪ Was I a way to be cool? ♪
827
00:42:11,198 --> 00:42:14,501
♪ I truly cared ♪
828
00:42:14,635 --> 00:42:17,171
♪ Was I the fool? ♪
829
00:42:17,304 --> 00:42:19,840
♪ It's fine for you ♪
830
00:42:19,973 --> 00:42:23,010
♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
831
00:42:23,143 --> 00:42:28,015
♪ It's fine ♪
832
00:42:28,148 --> 00:42:29,683
♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪
833
00:42:35,489 --> 00:42:37,958
♪ Feel my heart beating? ♪
834
00:42:38,092 --> 00:42:41,061
♪ I'm just like her or you ♪
835
00:42:41,195 --> 00:42:44,198
♪ People forget I'm human, too ♪
836
00:42:44,331 --> 00:42:46,633
♪ Yes, they do that ♪
837
00:42:47,868 --> 00:42:50,371
♪ This is performance ♪
838
00:42:50,504 --> 00:42:53,440
♪ This is all self-defense ♪
839
00:42:53,574 --> 00:42:56,744
♪ I thought you had the sense ♪
840
00:42:56,877 --> 00:42:59,179
♪ To see through that ♪
841
00:42:59,313 --> 00:43:02,116
♪ Was I too proud with you? ♪
842
00:43:02,249 --> 00:43:05,419
♪ Was I too cold
And forbidding? ♪
843
00:43:05,552 --> 00:43:08,789
♪ You chose her over me
Well ♪
844
00:43:08,956 --> 00:43:11,191
♪ Are you kidding? ♪
845
00:43:11,325 --> 00:43:13,862
♪ It's fine for you ♪
846
00:43:13,994 --> 00:43:16,463
♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
847
00:43:17,164 --> 00:43:21,935
♪ It's fine ♪
848
00:43:22,069 --> 00:43:23,971
♪ Till someone gets hurt ♪
849
00:43:28,242 --> 00:43:33,647
♪ Till someone gets hurt! ♪
850
00:43:35,349 --> 00:43:36,784
♪ Poor little me ♪
851
00:43:36,917 --> 00:43:40,988
♪ I'm trapped
In this fabulous show ♪
852
00:43:41,121 --> 00:43:43,892
♪ You could set me free ♪
853
00:43:44,024 --> 00:43:49,029
♪ But if you're going, go ♪
854
00:43:51,231 --> 00:43:54,201
♪ It's fine for you ♪
855
00:43:54,334 --> 00:43:57,037
♪ It's fine to flirt ♪
856
00:43:57,171 --> 00:44:00,240
♪ And, God, you're hot! ♪
857
00:44:00,374 --> 00:44:03,210
♪ Why do you even
Wear a shirt? ♪
858
00:44:03,343 --> 00:44:07,247
♪ No, it's fine ♪
859
00:44:07,381 --> 00:44:09,349
♪ Damn, you're fine! ♪
860
00:44:09,483 --> 00:44:14,755
♪ And it's fine ♪
861
00:44:14,889 --> 00:44:16,023
♪ Till someone gets... ♪
862
00:44:44,485 --> 00:44:47,889
She took him back.
She took Aaron back.
863
00:44:48,021 --> 00:44:49,656
Of course she did.
864
00:44:49,790 --> 00:44:52,493
It's because Regina's
a life ruiner!
865
00:44:52,626 --> 00:44:54,161
When we were in sixth grade,
she told everybody
866
00:44:54,294 --> 00:44:55,629
that Janis was...
Damian!
867
00:44:55,762 --> 00:44:57,899
Okay. She does not need
to hear that right now.
868
00:44:58,031 --> 00:45:00,067
No, I know the story.
869
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:02,804
You lit a fire 'cause Regina
got a boyfriend.
870
00:45:02,937 --> 00:45:04,471
She said what?
871
00:45:04,605 --> 00:45:05,572
Oh, hell no.
872
00:45:05,706 --> 00:45:09,142
Damian...
No! The truth
will be told.
873
00:45:09,276 --> 00:45:10,644
Stay with me, Cady.
874
00:45:14,849 --> 00:45:18,585
Like all history,
this is emotionally layered
and culturally dense.
875
00:45:22,256 --> 00:45:24,458
Janis and Regina were
best friends in middle school.
876
00:45:24,591 --> 00:45:29,029
And at that time, females
expressed their identities
through collectible plushies.
877
00:45:29,162 --> 00:45:30,631
I don't know what those...
878
00:45:30,764 --> 00:45:35,068
It's these bastards.
And they were everywhere.
879
00:45:35,202 --> 00:45:38,539
Regina gave Janis a BFF set
for her birthday.
880
00:45:38,672 --> 00:45:40,942
Janis put a rainbow patch
on hers.
881
00:45:41,074 --> 00:45:42,810
This is how she came out
to her friend.
882
00:45:42,944 --> 00:45:44,177
And Regina put one
on hers, too,
883
00:45:44,311 --> 00:45:46,814
out of allyship because
she used to be human.
884
00:45:46,948 --> 00:45:51,986
Cut to eight months later,
Regina becomes obsessed
with this gross boy. Kyle!
885
00:45:52,119 --> 00:45:54,621
Your scale is
completely off.
Hush!
886
00:45:56,423 --> 00:45:58,492
One night, they were
all playing spin the bottle...
887
00:45:58,625 --> 00:46:01,495
And Regina was worried
that Kyle liked Karen more.
888
00:46:01,628 --> 00:46:05,299
So when she spun
and got Janis,
889
00:46:05,967 --> 00:46:07,601
Regina put on a little show.
890
00:46:11,071 --> 00:46:12,339
And Kyle was like "boing"!
891
00:46:12,472 --> 00:46:13,674
And Regina was like...
892
00:46:13,808 --> 00:46:15,208
..."I knew she would let me!
893
00:46:15,342 --> 00:46:17,812
She's, like,
obsessed with me!"
894
00:46:17,946 --> 00:46:19,146
Not okay.
895
00:46:19,279 --> 00:46:21,114
Please put this all back
in its box.
896
00:46:21,248 --> 00:46:22,984
They got into a huge fight.
897
00:46:23,116 --> 00:46:24,953
Regina started avoiding Janis
at school,
898
00:46:25,085 --> 00:46:26,854
but did she give back
that plush animal?
899
00:46:26,988 --> 00:46:29,556
Oh, no.
She took it everywhere.
900
00:46:29,690 --> 00:46:32,426
She named her "Sissy Liz"
and she made everyone say
901
00:46:32,559 --> 00:46:33,928
"good morning" to it
every day,
902
00:46:34,062 --> 00:46:35,228
and it was very weird
and boring.
903
00:46:35,362 --> 00:46:36,463
Fast forward.
904
00:46:36,597 --> 00:46:38,398
One day in Science,
905
00:46:38,532 --> 00:46:41,168
Regina was making everyone
say hi to Sissy Liz.
906
00:46:41,301 --> 00:46:43,170
And Janis finally heard it.
907
00:46:43,303 --> 00:46:45,639
"Sissy Liz" was short
for "Obsessed Lesbian."
908
00:46:45,772 --> 00:46:48,943
Regina had been making fun
of Janis this entire time
909
00:46:49,077 --> 00:46:50,510
and everyone but her knew it.
910
00:46:51,345 --> 00:46:53,647
So, and this is regrettable...
911
00:46:55,984 --> 00:46:57,484
Janis took
her Bunsen burner...
912
00:46:59,219 --> 00:47:01,622
and torched the doll.
913
00:47:01,755 --> 00:47:03,891
And Regina's backpack
caught on fire a little bit
914
00:47:04,025 --> 00:47:07,227
and Janis was kicked
out of school
for the remainder of the year.
915
00:47:07,361 --> 00:47:09,831
And the adults
didn't know why.
916
00:47:09,964 --> 00:47:12,432
Janis just seemed crazy.
917
00:47:14,534 --> 00:47:16,670
I'm really sorry
that happened.
918
00:47:18,438 --> 00:47:20,307
It's worse than my thing.
919
00:47:21,508 --> 00:47:23,143
Caddy, don't be sorry.
920
00:47:23,276 --> 00:47:26,647
Now you know Regina George
is not your friend.
921
00:47:26,780 --> 00:47:28,281
We are your friends.
922
00:47:28,415 --> 00:47:30,217
And we're gonna
make her pay.
923
00:47:33,720 --> 00:47:34,989
♪ You know what friends do? ♪
924
00:47:35,123 --> 00:47:36,824
♪ They got your back ♪
925
00:47:36,958 --> 00:47:39,726
♪ And they are fun
To be around ♪
♪ Whoa ♪
926
00:47:39,861 --> 00:47:41,896
♪ When someone hurts you
Then they attack ♪
927
00:47:42,030 --> 00:47:44,531
♪ And grind your foe
Into the ground! ♪
928
00:47:44,665 --> 00:47:46,233
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
929
00:47:46,366 --> 00:47:48,870
♪ Imagine a party
With dresses and cake ♪
930
00:47:49,003 --> 00:47:51,839
♪ And singing and dancing
And cake ♪
931
00:47:51,973 --> 00:47:55,143
♪ And there's a magic act
That saws Regina in half ♪
932
00:47:55,275 --> 00:47:58,645
♪ And this time
It'll take ♪
933
00:47:58,779 --> 00:48:03,017
Now that's a party!
♪ It's a revenge party
A party that ends ♪
934
00:48:03,151 --> 00:48:05,218
♪ With somebody's head
On a spike ♪
935
00:48:05,352 --> 00:48:09,189
♪ It's a revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
936
00:48:09,322 --> 00:48:12,492
♪ It's like a party
With revenge
Is what it's like ♪
937
00:48:13,694 --> 00:48:15,129
Caddy, in order
for this to work,
938
00:48:15,262 --> 00:48:16,797
you need to act
like a huge phony.
939
00:48:16,931 --> 00:48:18,198
Can you do it?
940
00:48:18,331 --> 00:48:19,533
I... I think so.
941
00:48:19,666 --> 00:48:21,035
Practice.
942
00:48:21,169 --> 00:48:24,072
Regina wanted me to tell you
that she tried
to talk to Aaron,
943
00:48:24,204 --> 00:48:27,441
but he just wanted her back,
and that's not Regina's fault.
944
00:48:27,574 --> 00:48:29,543
Of course. Oh, my gosh.
945
00:48:30,243 --> 00:48:31,511
Love ya. See you at lunch.
946
00:48:31,645 --> 00:48:34,448
Perfect!
On to phase two.
947
00:48:34,581 --> 00:48:36,550
♪ I'll bring
The glow sticks ♪
948
00:48:36,683 --> 00:48:39,954
♪ I'll bring balloons
And we'll have
Chocolate ice cream cones ♪
949
00:48:40,088 --> 00:48:41,555
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
950
00:48:41,688 --> 00:48:43,991
♪ I'll be the DJ
Spinnin' the tunes ♪
951
00:48:44,125 --> 00:48:47,028
♪ On a turntable made
Of her bones ♪
952
00:48:47,161 --> 00:48:50,464
♪ We'll get a piñata
'Cause that would be fun ♪
953
00:48:50,597 --> 00:48:51,899
♪ And play dress up
And Barbies ♪
954
00:48:52,033 --> 00:48:53,633
♪ And tag ♪
955
00:48:53,767 --> 00:48:55,169
♪ And we'll roll on the grass ♪
956
00:48:55,302 --> 00:48:56,838
♪ And stare up at the sun ♪
957
00:48:56,971 --> 00:48:59,740
♪ Then we'll stuff her remains
In a bag ♪
958
00:48:59,874 --> 00:49:01,575
♪ And throw 'em in the river! ♪
959
00:49:01,708 --> 00:49:04,812
♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
960
00:49:04,946 --> 00:49:07,380
♪ With entrails
All over the lawn ♪
961
00:49:07,514 --> 00:49:10,784
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
962
00:49:10,918 --> 00:49:13,420
♪ And I end up with Aaron
When she's gone ♪
963
00:49:13,553 --> 00:49:15,890
♪ Yes, bitch! ♪
964
00:49:17,357 --> 00:49:19,861
I end up with Aaron
when she's gone.
965
00:49:20,327 --> 00:49:21,795
Yes, bitch.
966
00:49:31,239 --> 00:49:32,439
I think I need a tutor.
967
00:49:32,572 --> 00:49:34,976
I could tutor you,
if you want.
968
00:49:36,376 --> 00:49:38,311
♪ What's Regina doin'? ♪
969
00:49:38,445 --> 00:49:39,646
♪ What's Regina wearin'? ♪
970
00:49:39,780 --> 00:49:41,615
♪ Is she back with Aaron? ♪
971
00:49:41,748 --> 00:49:45,953
♪ Regina! Regina!
She has everything
She gets everything ♪
972
00:49:47,454 --> 00:49:49,489
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
973
00:49:50,323 --> 00:49:51,358
What is that?
974
00:49:51,491 --> 00:49:53,094
Ugh, I'm so fat
and disgusting.
975
00:49:53,227 --> 00:49:54,361
I'm not having anything
976
00:49:54,494 --> 00:49:56,197
but Kälteen bars
until I lose weight.
977
00:49:56,329 --> 00:49:57,664
Well, I need
to lose three pounds.
978
00:49:57,798 --> 00:49:59,000
How many calories from fat?
979
00:49:59,133 --> 00:50:00,201
Zero.
980
00:50:00,333 --> 00:50:01,869
You cross-multiply x
over a thousand
981
00:50:02,003 --> 00:50:03,737
and divide it by 0.5
because it's in kilograms.
982
00:50:03,871 --> 00:50:06,406
Whatever.
Bring me a whole box.
983
00:50:06,540 --> 00:50:08,843
No, um, bring me two.
984
00:50:15,682 --> 00:50:18,585
♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
985
00:50:18,718 --> 00:50:21,621
♪ With somebody crushed
And alone ♪
♪ And ugly-crying! ♪
986
00:50:21,755 --> 00:50:24,624
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
987
00:50:24,758 --> 00:50:27,394
♪ It's like a party
With revenge
Is what we're throwin'! ♪
988
00:50:44,411 --> 00:50:46,247
♪ What's Regina eating? ♪
989
00:50:46,379 --> 00:50:47,882
♪ God, look at her figure ♪
990
00:50:48,015 --> 00:50:50,684
♪ Did her boobs get bigger?
Regina! Regina! ♪
991
00:50:50,818 --> 00:50:52,320
♪ She has everything! ♪
992
00:50:52,452 --> 00:50:54,688
♪ She gets everything! ♪
993
00:50:54,822 --> 00:50:57,624
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
994
00:51:01,262 --> 00:51:04,298
Six weeks and all we've done
is make Regina hotter
and revive the wet look.
995
00:51:04,431 --> 00:51:06,033
We have to pivot.
996
00:51:06,167 --> 00:51:08,735
If we can make
Gretchen Wieners think
that Regina is mad at her...
997
00:51:08,870 --> 00:51:10,838
No, no, no.
Gretchen is fragile.
998
00:51:10,972 --> 00:51:12,405
Exactly!
999
00:51:12,539 --> 00:51:14,441
If we crack her open,
maybe she'll spill
something we can use.
1000
00:51:22,449 --> 00:51:24,118
♪ Party ♪
1001
00:51:24,252 --> 00:51:26,753
Hey, girl, you sending
any candy canes this year?
1002
00:51:26,888 --> 00:51:30,024
Oh.
I don't send them.
I just get them.
1003
00:51:31,458 --> 00:51:33,760
Um, stop pulling it down.
1004
00:51:33,895 --> 00:51:36,396
Your hair looks so sexy
pushed back.
1005
00:51:37,265 --> 00:51:38,732
Cady, would you
please tell him
1006
00:51:38,866 --> 00:51:41,135
that his hair looks sexy
pushed back?
1007
00:51:42,636 --> 00:51:44,738
Your hair looks sexy
pushed back.
1008
00:51:44,872 --> 00:51:45,907
Oh...
1009
00:51:51,379 --> 00:51:52,612
Thanks.
1010
00:51:56,384 --> 00:51:58,618
I'll, uh, see you in Calc.
1011
00:52:00,288 --> 00:52:02,957
♪ At every party
There might be a low ♪
1012
00:52:03,090 --> 00:52:06,459
♪ Where the energy dips ♪
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
1013
00:52:06,593 --> 00:52:13,367
♪ You might be thinking
"It's late, we should go
And they ran out of chips" ♪
1014
00:52:13,500 --> 00:52:17,204
♪ No! I can't even watch
When she touches his hair ♪
1015
00:52:17,338 --> 00:52:19,974
♪ And I've watched a snake
Eat a cow ♪
1016
00:52:20,107 --> 00:52:23,677
♪ Regina needs to be toppled
Sorry, Gretchen, I swear ♪
1017
00:52:23,811 --> 00:52:26,981
♪ We'll get our party now! ♪
1018
00:52:27,114 --> 00:52:29,150
One candy cane, please!
1019
00:52:31,319 --> 00:52:34,754
♪ A revenge party
A party that ends ♪
1020
00:52:34,889 --> 00:52:36,924
♪ With lions in a Roman arena ♪
1021
00:52:37,058 --> 00:52:40,094
♪ She has everything!
She gets everything! ♪
1022
00:52:41,162 --> 00:52:43,097
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1023
00:52:43,230 --> 00:52:44,731
Ho, ho, ho!
1024
00:52:44,865 --> 00:52:46,934
Candy Cane Gram
for Shane Oman!
1025
00:52:47,068 --> 00:52:48,468
♪ She has everything! ♪
1026
00:52:48,601 --> 00:52:50,537
And one for Cady Heron.
1027
00:52:50,670 --> 00:52:52,039
♪ She gets everything! ♪
1028
00:52:52,173 --> 00:52:54,075
Four for Glenn Cocco?
1029
00:52:54,208 --> 00:52:55,810
You go, Glenn Cocco!
1030
00:52:55,943 --> 00:52:58,145
♪ Glenn Cocco!
Glenn Cocco! Glenn Cocco! ♪
1031
00:52:59,180 --> 00:53:03,117
And... none
for Gretchen Wieners, bye.
1032
00:53:03,717 --> 00:53:04,684
Who sent that?
1033
00:53:04,819 --> 00:53:05,920
Oh, it's from...
1034
00:53:06,053 --> 00:53:08,022
♪ Regina! Regina! Regina! ♪
1035
00:53:08,155 --> 00:53:11,459
"Thanks for being
such a great best friend."
1036
00:53:11,591 --> 00:53:12,759
Aw.
1037
00:53:13,461 --> 00:53:14,862
Oh.
1038
00:53:15,997 --> 00:53:17,064
Okay.
1039
00:53:18,232 --> 00:53:20,034
If you and Regina are
"best friends" now,
1040
00:53:20,167 --> 00:53:22,736
then you can be in charge of
keeping all her secrets, okay?
1041
00:53:22,870 --> 00:53:25,973
For example, she gave you
those high-heel shoes
just to make fun of you
1042
00:53:26,107 --> 00:53:29,043
because she knew
you wouldn't be able
to walk in them. Sorry!
1043
00:53:29,176 --> 00:53:31,912
Also, she says
she has a nose job,
1044
00:53:32,046 --> 00:53:33,580
but that's just to distract
from the fact
1045
00:53:33,713 --> 00:53:35,983
that she had one
of her ears moved!
1046
00:53:36,117 --> 00:53:38,752
Also, she totally cheats
on Aaron.
1047
00:53:38,886 --> 00:53:41,721
Yeah. Every Tuesday,
she says she has College Prep,
1048
00:53:41,856 --> 00:53:43,457
but really she's hooking up
with Shane Oman
1049
00:53:43,623 --> 00:53:45,126
in the third-floor
janitorial closet
1050
00:53:45,259 --> 00:53:47,995
on the bags of sawdust
that they use for barf!
1051
00:53:48,129 --> 00:53:50,131
And I never told anyone
1052
00:53:50,264 --> 00:53:52,500
because I'm such
a good friend!
1053
00:53:54,402 --> 00:53:57,670
And I'm only telling you
because you're such
a good friend.
1054
00:54:04,145 --> 00:54:05,946
♪ It's a revenge party ♪
1055
00:54:06,080 --> 00:54:07,714
♪ A party that ends ♪
1056
00:54:07,848 --> 00:54:10,284
♪ With somebody's head
On a spike! ♪
1057
00:54:10,418 --> 00:54:13,320
♪ A revenge party
With your two best friends ♪
1058
00:54:13,454 --> 00:54:17,590
♪ It's like a party
With revenge
Is what it's like ♪
1059
00:54:36,177 --> 00:54:38,645
♪ A party with revenge
Is what it's like ♪
1060
00:54:39,579 --> 00:54:42,582
♪ A party with revenge ♪
1061
00:54:42,715 --> 00:54:46,487
♪ With revenge ♪
1062
00:54:46,619 --> 00:54:48,255
♪ Is what it's like! ♪
1063
00:55:00,633 --> 00:55:03,938
Hey, do you have time to go
over derivatives for a minute?
1064
00:55:04,538 --> 00:55:06,874
Oh, um... no, not today.
1065
00:55:09,410 --> 00:55:10,643
Cady?
1066
00:55:12,679 --> 00:55:14,248
Um...
1067
00:55:14,381 --> 00:55:16,716
You've failed
your last five quizzes.
Is everything okay?
1068
00:55:16,851 --> 00:55:19,220
I'm... I'm sorry.
I'll just try harder.
1069
00:55:19,353 --> 00:55:21,055
Okay, because
if you need extra help,
1070
00:55:21,188 --> 00:55:23,124
there's a Mathletes meeting
starting in a couple minutes.
1071
00:55:23,257 --> 00:55:25,593
I can't. I'm sorry.
I have to go
to my friend Regina's house.
1072
00:55:25,725 --> 00:55:27,428
We're doing a dance
in the talent show.
1073
00:55:27,561 --> 00:55:29,964
"Rockin' Around
the Pole"?
Yeah, how did you know?
1074
00:55:30,097 --> 00:55:31,932
They do it every year.
It's like a...
1075
00:55:32,066 --> 00:55:34,034
Tradition?
Recurring nightmare.
1076
00:55:35,002 --> 00:55:37,538
Okay, I could probably
get Kevin to tutor you.
1077
00:55:37,670 --> 00:55:39,306
Well, Aaron's tutoring me now,
so...
1078
00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:42,076
Oh, he's tutoring you?
Sure, okay, well,
1079
00:55:42,209 --> 00:55:44,378
let Aaron know that the weird
thing with your quizzes
1080
00:55:44,512 --> 00:55:47,747
is that all the work is right
and only the answers are wrong.
1081
00:55:47,882 --> 00:55:50,050
Huh.
Huh.
1082
00:55:50,184 --> 00:55:53,053
Cady, I am not gonna
stop pushing you,
because I'm a pusher.
1083
00:55:53,187 --> 00:55:55,222
And I know you're smarter
than this.
1084
00:55:55,356 --> 00:55:59,527
Maybe I should just push
your seat away from Aaron's.
1085
00:55:59,659 --> 00:56:02,496
Ugh! And she was like,
"I'm a pusher, Cady.
I'm a pusher."
1086
00:56:02,630 --> 00:56:04,999
Wait, what does she even mean,
she's a "pusher"?
1087
00:56:05,132 --> 00:56:09,570
Like a drug pusher?
I don't know.
She's so weird.
1088
00:56:09,702 --> 00:56:12,739
Let it all out, honey.
Put it in the book.
1089
00:56:15,109 --> 00:56:17,444
Look at this thing!
1090
00:56:18,646 --> 00:56:21,615
I can't even see it.
It's sexy,
like a face breast.
1091
00:56:21,748 --> 00:56:25,486
It happens to me, too.
It's just the Kälteen bars
flushing your toxins.
1092
00:56:25,619 --> 00:56:26,887
Huh. Okay.
1093
00:56:27,021 --> 00:56:29,256
Well, this skin stuff
you gave me sucks!
1094
00:56:29,756 --> 00:56:31,225
Where did you get it?
1095
00:56:40,568 --> 00:56:41,635
The Paris airport.
1096
00:56:41,768 --> 00:56:42,903
Oh, "the Paris airport."
1097
00:56:43,037 --> 00:56:45,105
Well, it's garbage.
And so are you.
1098
00:56:47,575 --> 00:56:50,344
She's just grouchy
because Aaron
broke up with her.
1099
00:56:50,477 --> 00:56:51,778
He did?
1100
00:56:51,912 --> 00:56:53,746
Someone told him
about Shane.
1101
00:56:54,448 --> 00:56:56,183
Do you think it was Santa?
1102
00:56:57,284 --> 00:56:58,751
Oh...
1103
00:56:58,886 --> 00:57:01,589
Also,
all that she's been eating
are those Kälteen bars,
1104
00:57:01,721 --> 00:57:04,091
and I don't think she's pooped
in, like, two weeks.
1105
00:57:04,225 --> 00:57:05,426
Uh...
1106
00:57:05,559 --> 00:57:07,494
Hey, G, we've practiced
a bunch with Cady.
1107
00:57:07,628 --> 00:57:08,662
You want to run it once?
1108
00:57:08,795 --> 00:57:10,763
Why? I'm perfect every year.
1109
00:57:10,898 --> 00:57:12,132
Mm-hmm.
1110
00:57:12,266 --> 00:57:14,301
Yeah, but it's,
uh, Cady's first time
1111
00:57:14,435 --> 00:57:16,303
and there's a bunch
of traffic patterns...
1112
00:57:16,437 --> 00:57:19,406
Stop playing with
that stupid babyish book!
1113
00:58:04,285 --> 00:58:06,320
Uh, that was
Damian Hubbard singing...
1114
00:58:06,453 --> 00:58:08,922
...the iCarly theme song
1115
00:58:09,056 --> 00:58:10,658
in French for extra credit.
1116
00:58:10,824 --> 00:58:12,026
Yeah!
1117
00:58:13,327 --> 00:58:15,795
Our next act describes
their music
1118
00:58:15,929 --> 00:58:19,099
as "Like a sine wave,
they don't stop."
1119
00:58:19,233 --> 00:58:22,670
Please welcome Kevin G
and the Power of Three.
1120
00:58:22,802 --> 00:58:24,838
Uh. Yeah.
1121
00:58:24,972 --> 00:58:26,874
♪ All you ♪
1122
00:58:27,007 --> 00:58:29,209
♪ Suckah emcees
Ain't got nothin' on me ♪
1123
00:58:29,343 --> 00:58:31,645
♪ From my grades to my rhymes
You can't touch Kevin G ♪
1124
00:58:31,779 --> 00:58:32,846
♪ I'm a Mathlete ♪
1125
00:58:32,980 --> 00:58:34,615
♪ So good under pressure ♪
1126
00:58:34,748 --> 00:58:36,483
♪ I'ma find acute angles
To prioritize your pleasure ♪
1127
00:58:36,617 --> 00:58:38,786
♪ I'm a Model UN rep
Out in these streets ♪
1128
00:58:38,919 --> 00:58:41,188
♪ But I'm a overachiever
Under the sheets ♪
1129
00:58:41,322 --> 00:58:43,891
♪ She be like
"Uhhhh, Kevin G!" ♪
1130
00:58:44,024 --> 00:58:45,492
Inappropriate.
1131
00:58:45,626 --> 00:58:46,894
Kevin, we talked about this.
1132
00:58:47,027 --> 00:58:49,496
Well,
happy holidays, everybody.
1133
00:58:51,765 --> 00:58:54,068
Why is this so tight?
1134
00:58:54,201 --> 00:58:55,869
You've had it
since the sixth grade.
1135
00:58:56,003 --> 00:58:57,705
You're probably maturing.
1136
00:58:57,838 --> 00:59:00,774
Um, do you just,
like, want to run it one time
real quick?
1137
00:59:00,908 --> 00:59:04,044
Gretchen,
literally no one cares.
1138
00:59:04,178 --> 00:59:06,146
Mm-hmm. No, totally.
1139
00:59:06,280 --> 00:59:08,349
Um, do you just want
to run the acro?
1140
00:59:08,482 --> 00:59:10,484
Because none of us really does
gymnastics anymore
1141
00:59:10,617 --> 00:59:12,653
and when we made up this dance,
we all weighed, like, 70 pounds,
1142
00:59:12,786 --> 00:59:16,223
so maybe we should
just make sure everyone's
center of gravity is still...
1143
00:59:16,357 --> 00:59:17,458
Still what?
1144
00:59:18,659 --> 00:59:19,593
Nothing.
1145
00:59:26,767 --> 00:59:30,637
Thank you,
Shelby and Timmy, for tapping.
1146
00:59:30,771 --> 00:59:32,439
Also, if anyone finds
a retainer
1147
00:59:32,573 --> 00:59:35,876
in a bright aqua case,
that is mine.
1148
00:59:36,009 --> 00:59:37,277
Please return it.
1149
00:59:37,411 --> 00:59:39,880
My insurance won't cover
a replacement.
1150
00:59:40,914 --> 00:59:42,483
Karen, I can see your bra.
1151
00:59:42,616 --> 00:59:44,418
It's on purpose.
I'm going for a look.
1152
00:59:44,551 --> 00:59:46,286
Is it "girl
who slept with 11 people"?
1153
00:59:46,420 --> 00:59:47,955
'Cause you're nailing it.
1154
00:59:49,456 --> 00:59:52,326
I think your top is fetch.
Gretchen!
1155
00:59:52,459 --> 00:59:54,561
Stop trying
to make "fetch" happen.
1156
00:59:54,695 --> 00:59:57,564
It's not going to happen.
1157
01:00:01,135 --> 01:00:03,805
Okay,
please welcome Santa's Helpers
1158
01:00:03,937 --> 01:00:05,773
doing "Rockin'
Around the Pole."
1159
01:00:15,649 --> 01:00:18,051
♪ We're gonna
Take a Christmas train ♪
1160
01:00:18,185 --> 01:00:20,120
♪ To where Santa lives ♪
1161
01:00:20,254 --> 01:00:22,990
♪ Up through the sleet
And snow ♪
1162
01:00:23,123 --> 01:00:26,493
♪ Then we'll hop and bop
Straight to the top ♪
1163
01:00:26,627 --> 01:00:29,563
♪ Last stop the North Pole ♪
1164
01:00:31,165 --> 01:00:34,701
♪ And we'll be rock, rock
Rockin' around the pole ♪
1165
01:00:34,836 --> 01:00:37,704
♪ Where the northern lights
Are bright ♪
1166
01:00:37,839 --> 01:00:41,475
♪ Rock, rock, rockin'
Around the pole ♪
1167
01:00:41,608 --> 01:00:44,578
♪ We'll rock that pole
All night ♪
1168
01:00:44,711 --> 01:00:47,948
♪ And we'll be sing, sing
Singin' a Christmas tune ♪
1169
01:00:48,081 --> 01:00:49,683
Thank you, next!
1170
01:00:51,051 --> 01:00:54,755
♪ Yeah, we'll be rock
Rock, rockin' up on that pole ♪
1171
01:00:54,889 --> 01:00:57,724
♪ Rockin' till the break
Of day ♪
1172
01:00:57,859 --> 01:01:00,761
♪ Yeah, we'll be rockin'
Stuffin' a stockin' ♪
1173
01:01:00,895 --> 01:01:03,898
♪ And they'll be talkin'
About us in town ♪
1174
01:01:04,031 --> 01:01:06,099
♪ Yeah, we'll be rockin' ♪
1175
01:01:06,233 --> 01:01:08,001
♪ And rollin' and lockin'
And strollin' ♪
1176
01:01:08,135 --> 01:01:11,906
♪ Till the North Pole police
Come shut us down ♪
1177
01:01:33,627 --> 01:01:36,797
So, I went
to the Christmas show
and it was a mess, y'all.
1178
01:01:36,931 --> 01:01:38,665
Regina ate total shit.
1179
01:01:38,799 --> 01:01:40,234
I think people saw her nipple.
1180
01:01:40,367 --> 01:01:41,702
It's just unprofessional.
1181
01:01:41,836 --> 01:01:43,170
This was kind of hilarious.
1182
01:01:45,439 --> 01:01:46,841
I've watched
1183
01:01:46,975 --> 01:01:50,377
this video a thousand times.
Gretchen piledrived Regina.
1184
01:01:50,511 --> 01:01:52,112
Regina really should be
lifting through her glutes.
1185
01:01:52,246 --> 01:01:54,147
Regina challenge!
1186
01:01:54,281 --> 01:01:55,850
You know
what that bitch gets?
1187
01:01:55,984 --> 01:01:57,150
Not my sympathy.
1188
01:01:57,284 --> 01:01:58,519
It's not like
we like Regina anyway.
1189
01:01:58,652 --> 01:02:00,420
She's such a bitch.
She's so spoiled.
1190
01:02:00,554 --> 01:02:02,623
Regina always wanted
to be the center of attention.
1191
01:02:02,756 --> 01:02:04,993
Girl, we all see you.
1192
01:02:05,158 --> 01:02:07,027
Regina got what she deserves.
1193
01:02:07,160 --> 01:02:08,897
But you know, that Cady girl
was kind of cute.
1194
01:02:09,029 --> 01:02:09,964
You know, she stayed,
she waved.
1195
01:02:10,097 --> 01:02:12,266
She ate, like, house down.
1196
01:02:12,399 --> 01:02:13,968
Cady Heron was the only one
that acted normal.
1197
01:02:14,101 --> 01:02:15,602
- Oh, yeah.
- I think she salvaged
1198
01:02:15,736 --> 01:02:17,371
the worst tradition
of the year.
1199
01:02:17,504 --> 01:02:19,339
Period.
She was... She's kind of hot.
1200
01:02:19,473 --> 01:02:21,341
She might even be hotter
than Regina George.
1201
01:02:21,475 --> 01:02:24,244
No zits. Gum health.
American Eagle.
1202
01:02:24,378 --> 01:02:25,947
Cady doesn't even have
to wear deodorant.
1203
01:02:26,079 --> 01:02:27,414
I'm thinking of going red.
1204
01:02:27,548 --> 01:02:28,983
Okay, so, somebody sent me
this look, and I was like,
1205
01:02:29,116 --> 01:02:30,952
"Hot girls,
we are going back to red!
1206
01:02:31,084 --> 01:02:32,786
Y2K fire-crotch is back!"
1207
01:02:32,921 --> 01:02:34,454
Thank you, Cady Heron.
1208
01:02:34,588 --> 01:02:36,523
Cady was looking good.
1209
01:02:37,926 --> 01:02:39,359
Caddy!
1210
01:02:40,127 --> 01:02:41,762
Did you hear me?
1211
01:02:41,896 --> 01:02:44,197
What?
We did it.
1212
01:02:44,331 --> 01:02:45,566
Regina lost
her hot boyfriend.
1213
01:02:45,699 --> 01:02:47,134
She lost her status
over everyone.
1214
01:02:47,267 --> 01:02:48,836
She popped her blemish
against the stage floor.
1215
01:02:48,970 --> 01:02:50,404
That's rock bottom.
1216
01:02:51,138 --> 01:02:53,140
We can stop. We're even.
1217
01:02:53,273 --> 01:02:54,842
Finally you don't have
to talk to them anymore.
1218
01:02:54,976 --> 01:02:57,277
We can finally
have lunch together tomorrow.
1219
01:02:57,411 --> 01:02:58,745
I'm getting dumplings.
1220
01:02:58,880 --> 01:03:00,815
Unless they have pizza bagels,
then I might get both.
1221
01:03:00,949 --> 01:03:02,616
So good.
I can't.
1222
01:03:04,819 --> 01:03:06,720
I need one more lunch.
1223
01:03:30,310 --> 01:03:33,280
I'm sorry, Regina.
You can't sit with us.
1224
01:03:35,482 --> 01:03:36,884
What?
1225
01:03:37,885 --> 01:03:40,787
You're wearing sweatpants.
It's Thursday.
1226
01:03:41,622 --> 01:03:43,323
Whatever.
Those rules aren't real.
1227
01:03:43,457 --> 01:03:44,758
They were real
that day I wore a vest.
1228
01:03:44,892 --> 01:03:46,460
Yeah, because that vest
was disgusting!
1229
01:03:46,593 --> 01:03:48,997
You can't sit with us!
1230
01:04:01,775 --> 01:04:04,478
These sweatpants
are all that fit me right now.
1231
01:04:07,849 --> 01:04:09,216
What do you think, Cady?
1232
01:04:16,057 --> 01:04:19,861
Sorry, Regina.
Rules are rules.
1233
01:04:21,896 --> 01:04:22,930
Fine.
1234
01:04:25,232 --> 01:04:28,335
Oh.
1235
01:04:30,404 --> 01:04:32,572
Take a picture, losers.
It'll last longer.
1236
01:04:40,882 --> 01:04:42,582
And that...
...was the beginning...
1237
01:04:42,716 --> 01:04:43,717
...of the...
...mother*******
1238
01:04:43,851 --> 01:04:45,452
...end.
1239
01:04:48,755 --> 01:04:50,290
Hello,
may I have your attention
1240
01:04:50,424 --> 01:04:52,160
for this morning's
announcements?
1241
01:04:53,393 --> 01:04:54,862
In honor
of Women's History Month,
1242
01:04:54,996 --> 01:04:58,532
the cafeteria is offering
vegan "Confident Joannes"
1243
01:04:58,665 --> 01:05:01,435
which are Sloppy Joes
made of beans.
1244
01:05:03,403 --> 01:05:04,972
Secondly, we want
to wish good luck
1245
01:05:05,106 --> 01:05:07,474
to junior, Janis 'Imi'ike...
1246
01:05:07,607 --> 01:05:08,843
...who is a finalist
1247
01:05:08,976 --> 01:05:11,478
in the Illinois Art Expo
this Saturday.
1248
01:05:11,611 --> 01:05:14,082
Go, Lions! Even for Art.
1249
01:05:14,214 --> 01:05:15,716
- Art, art, art!
- Next up,
1250
01:05:15,850 --> 01:05:18,251
the Students Activities
Committee voted,
1251
01:05:18,385 --> 01:05:19,887
and the theme for
this year's Spring Fling...
1252
01:05:20,021 --> 01:05:22,689
What's that lip color?
Oh, it's e.l.f. O Face in...
1253
01:05:22,824 --> 01:05:23,858
No, amazing, yeah.
1254
01:05:23,991 --> 01:05:25,659
I was just making sure
your ears still worked.
1255
01:05:25,792 --> 01:05:30,363
And finally, the nominees for
Spring Fling King and Queen
1256
01:05:30,497 --> 01:05:31,899
are as follows:
1257
01:05:32,033 --> 01:05:33,800
For King, Aaron Samuels,
1258
01:05:33,935 --> 01:05:37,004
Christian Wiggins
and Shane Oman.
1259
01:05:37,138 --> 01:05:39,339
And Damian Hubbard. What?
1260
01:05:40,174 --> 01:05:41,408
For Queen...
1261
01:05:41,541 --> 01:05:42,776
...Regina George...
1262
01:05:42,910 --> 01:05:45,445
...Karen Shetty
and Gretchen Wieners.
1263
01:05:45,579 --> 01:05:47,849
- Same old, same old.
- And Caddy Heron.
1264
01:05:50,918 --> 01:05:52,053
Wow.
1265
01:05:52,186 --> 01:05:53,320
Wait, my mistake.
1266
01:05:55,823 --> 01:05:57,290
Cady Heron.
1267
01:06:01,294 --> 01:06:02,562
Oh, my God.
1268
01:06:02,696 --> 01:06:05,900
Oh, my God,
so many people are texting me.
1269
01:06:06,033 --> 01:06:08,802
Should I, um, text Aaron
and congratulate him?
1270
01:06:08,936 --> 01:06:09,837
No.
1271
01:06:09,971 --> 01:06:11,705
Hey, do you want a lift
this weekend?
1272
01:06:11,839 --> 01:06:13,975
'Cause Damian's borrowing
his grandma's Jazzy.
1273
01:06:14,108 --> 01:06:15,709
A lift to what?
1274
01:06:16,944 --> 01:06:19,479
My art show.
Didn't you just hear
Mr. Duvall talking about it?
1275
01:06:19,613 --> 01:06:22,150
Oh, that's this weekend?
Yeah.
1276
01:06:22,282 --> 01:06:26,286
Oh, shoot.
I have tickets to this thing
in Madison with my mom.
1277
01:06:26,419 --> 01:06:27,788
Uh, I'm sorry.
1278
01:06:29,623 --> 01:06:32,359
Yeah, you seem
super sad about it.
1279
01:06:34,962 --> 01:06:37,265
So, what are we doing
this weekend?
1280
01:06:37,397 --> 01:06:39,100
Why is everyone asking me
about the weekend?
1281
01:06:39,233 --> 01:06:40,467
It's Tuesday.
1282
01:06:40,600 --> 01:06:43,938
Yeah, the weekend is only...
several days away.
1283
01:06:44,071 --> 01:06:46,439
I have to go to this thing
in Madison with my mom.
1284
01:06:46,573 --> 01:06:48,276
Your mom is going away?
You should have people over.
1285
01:06:48,408 --> 01:06:49,877
No, I'm going with her.
1286
01:06:50,011 --> 01:06:53,413
Well, if you have people over,
you can invite Aaron.
1287
01:06:56,716 --> 01:06:57,852
Huh.
1288
01:06:57,985 --> 01:06:59,619
Yeah, I guess
I could get out of it.
1289
01:06:59,753 --> 01:07:01,755
But, like,
1290
01:07:01,889 --> 01:07:05,259
we would keep it small, right?
Like five or six people?
1291
01:07:05,425 --> 01:07:06,626
Yes!
Sure!
1292
01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:09,130
Why are you doing this to me?!
1293
01:07:09,263 --> 01:07:12,066
I promised my friend Janis
I'd go to her art show!
1294
01:07:12,200 --> 01:07:14,568
But, binti, we've had
these tickets for months.
1295
01:07:14,701 --> 01:07:16,170
You love Neil deGrasse Tyson.
1296
01:07:16,304 --> 01:07:17,271
Mom!
1297
01:07:17,404 --> 01:07:19,606
Janis is my best friend!
1298
01:07:19,739 --> 01:07:21,474
Do you not want me
to be a good friend?!
1299
01:07:21,608 --> 01:07:22,844
No! Yes! What?
1300
01:07:22,977 --> 01:07:26,948
You can, uh, stay home
on your own, I guess.
1301
01:07:27,081 --> 01:07:29,217
Hey. I'm having
a small get-together
1302
01:07:29,349 --> 01:07:32,519
at my house tomorrow night.
My mom's away, so...
1303
01:07:32,652 --> 01:07:33,787
Is Regina going?
1304
01:07:33,921 --> 01:07:36,489
No! Do you think
I'm an idiot? No.
1305
01:07:36,623 --> 01:07:38,525
It's just gonna be
a few cool people,
1306
01:07:38,658 --> 01:07:40,627
and you better be
one of them, byotch.
1307
01:07:41,561 --> 01:07:43,663
Okay. I'll be there.
1308
01:08:01,548 --> 01:08:02,984
No, no, no!
1309
01:08:14,527 --> 01:08:16,264
Have you seen Aaron?
1310
01:08:16,396 --> 01:08:18,099
What?
Aaron!
1311
01:08:18,232 --> 01:08:19,834
Karen?
1312
01:08:21,002 --> 01:08:22,036
Hi.
1313
01:08:26,340 --> 01:08:28,508
Whoo!
1314
01:08:35,548 --> 01:08:37,151
I've been looking for you.
1315
01:08:38,019 --> 01:08:39,419
Me as well.
1316
01:08:39,552 --> 01:08:42,589
I like your costume.
I mean, um, your dress.
1317
01:08:43,690 --> 01:08:45,293
Is this you holding
a crocodile?
1318
01:08:45,458 --> 01:08:48,396
Oh, my God,
don't look at that.
That is so embarrassing.
1319
01:08:48,528 --> 01:08:50,998
No, it's not. It's awesome.
1320
01:08:51,966 --> 01:08:53,100
You miss Kenya?
1321
01:08:53,234 --> 01:08:54,335
Yes.
1322
01:08:54,467 --> 01:08:56,137
No. I mean, I...
1323
01:08:57,204 --> 01:08:58,806
Well, I miss...
1324
01:08:58,940 --> 01:09:01,342
I could see
a lot more sky there.
1325
01:09:01,474 --> 01:09:02,676
At night.
1326
01:09:02,810 --> 01:09:06,013
My mom and I used
to map the constellations.
1327
01:09:06,646 --> 01:09:08,149
The stars.
1328
01:09:16,924 --> 01:09:18,658
You still on
the treadmill, honey?
1329
01:09:18,792 --> 01:09:20,694
No, I'm over there.
1330
01:09:21,795 --> 01:09:25,199
You got any plans tonight?
It's Saturday.
1331
01:09:25,333 --> 01:09:27,368
Mom, don't bother me.
1332
01:09:27,500 --> 01:09:30,770
I know you're not
feeling your best
about your body right now,
1333
01:09:30,905 --> 01:09:34,875
but remember that real beauty
comes from the face.
1334
01:09:35,009 --> 01:09:38,813
Don't ever talk about my body!
1335
01:09:38,946 --> 01:09:40,915
Okay, okay.
1336
01:09:44,218 --> 01:09:47,754
Wait, honey, why are
you eating Kälteen bars?
1337
01:09:47,888 --> 01:09:50,024
These are what
we gave Nana Joan
1338
01:09:50,157 --> 01:09:52,093
when we needed her
to gain weight.
1339
01:10:15,749 --> 01:10:17,584
I am drinking
1340
01:10:17,717 --> 01:10:19,652
not juice tonight.
1341
01:10:19,786 --> 01:10:21,856
I know. I can tell.
1342
01:10:22,589 --> 01:10:23,690
We should go downstairs.
1343
01:10:23,824 --> 01:10:26,360
No, no, no, sit down.
I'm amazing.
1344
01:10:32,867 --> 01:10:36,037
I think you should wear
your hair however you want.
1345
01:10:36,170 --> 01:10:39,073
I think it looks good
both ways.
1346
01:10:42,709 --> 01:10:45,346
Thank you
for inviting me tonight.
1347
01:10:45,479 --> 01:10:48,449
I think
I've spent too much time
being pissed at Regina.
1348
01:10:48,581 --> 01:10:49,917
Yeah, you really have.
1349
01:10:50,051 --> 01:10:53,220
No more liars.
I would never lie to you.
1350
01:10:54,687 --> 01:10:56,857
I mean,
I did lie to you once.
1351
01:10:56,991 --> 01:10:59,493
But you are totally
gonna laugh when I tell you.
1352
01:10:59,659 --> 01:11:00,828
Tell me what?
1353
01:11:00,961 --> 01:11:03,064
We're in here!
1354
01:11:08,102 --> 01:11:11,072
I pretended
to be bad at math
1355
01:11:11,205 --> 01:11:13,773
to get you to help me,
but I'm not bad at math.
1356
01:11:13,908 --> 01:11:16,310
I'm actually... I'm actually
really good at math.
1357
01:11:16,444 --> 01:11:20,448
You're the one who's only
kind of okay at math.
1358
01:11:20,580 --> 01:11:22,682
Anyways, um,
now I'm failing.
1359
01:11:22,817 --> 01:11:26,987
So isn't that so dumb?
That is dumb, yeah.
1360
01:11:27,888 --> 01:11:29,223
Why wouldn't you
just talk to me?
1361
01:11:29,356 --> 01:11:31,192
Because of Regina.
'Cause you were her property.
1362
01:11:31,325 --> 01:11:33,427
Her property?
Shut up. Not her property.
1363
01:11:33,561 --> 01:11:34,962
Don't tell me to shut up.
1364
01:11:36,497 --> 01:11:38,698
What? Aaron, sit down.
1365
01:11:38,833 --> 01:11:40,534
You are a clone of Regina.
1366
01:11:43,471 --> 01:11:44,872
No. No, no, no!
1367
01:11:45,005 --> 01:11:47,475
What are you thinking about?
1368
01:11:47,607 --> 01:11:48,675
Chicken wings later.
1369
01:11:48,809 --> 01:11:50,044
Do you ever think about me?
1370
01:11:50,177 --> 01:11:53,180
Sometimes.
When I'm looking right at you.
1371
01:12:01,555 --> 01:12:03,623
Cady, Cady, Cady!
No, no, no.
1372
01:12:07,561 --> 01:12:08,863
Aaron!
1373
01:12:17,905 --> 01:12:19,974
You dirty little liar.
1374
01:12:20,773 --> 01:12:22,076
I... I can explain.
1375
01:12:22,209 --> 01:12:23,911
Explain how you're supposed
to be out of town
1376
01:12:24,044 --> 01:12:25,446
but there are
60 different people
1377
01:12:25,579 --> 01:12:27,081
posting pictures
from your party?
1378
01:12:27,214 --> 01:12:28,648
You know
I couldn't invite you.
1379
01:12:28,781 --> 01:12:30,584
I... I have to act
like I don't know you.
1380
01:12:30,717 --> 01:12:32,652
You are full of lies!
1381
01:12:32,785 --> 01:12:34,555
Janis, I cannot stop
this Jazzy.
1382
01:12:34,687 --> 01:12:35,755
You know I have a curfew!
1383
01:12:35,890 --> 01:12:37,525
You would hate this party.
1384
01:12:37,657 --> 01:12:39,493
Why? Aren't you having
an amazing time
1385
01:12:39,627 --> 01:12:40,895
with your amazing friends?
1386
01:12:41,028 --> 01:12:42,662
Janis, I can't spend
every minute with you.
1387
01:12:42,795 --> 01:12:45,132
It's not my fault you're like
obsessed with me or something!
1388
01:12:48,068 --> 01:12:51,639
What?
Oh, no, she didn't.
1389
01:12:51,771 --> 01:12:53,974
See, this is the problem
with you Plastics.
1390
01:12:54,108 --> 01:12:56,043
You think everyone
is obsessed with you
1391
01:12:56,177 --> 01:12:57,912
when actually
everybody hates you.
1392
01:12:58,045 --> 01:12:59,847
You made me like this.
1393
01:12:59,980 --> 01:13:02,049
It was your idea for me
to pretend to be Plastic!
1394
01:13:02,183 --> 01:13:03,817
Buddy, it's not pretend!
1395
01:13:03,951 --> 01:13:05,419
♪ You are as plastic
As they come ♪
1396
01:13:05,553 --> 01:13:07,121
♪ You think
Your shit don't stink ♪
1397
01:13:07,254 --> 01:13:08,788
♪ You think
The rest of us are dumb ♪
1398
01:13:08,923 --> 01:13:10,391
♪ I hate Regina's guts ♪
1399
01:13:10,524 --> 01:13:11,825
♪ But here's what
You don't comprehend ♪
1400
01:13:11,959 --> 01:13:13,294
♪ At least she has the guts ♪
1401
01:13:13,427 --> 01:13:15,930
♪ To not pretend
To be my friend! ♪
1402
01:13:17,231 --> 01:13:18,132
Here.
1403
01:13:18,899 --> 01:13:21,969
Have this. It won an award.
Janis.
1404
01:13:22,102 --> 01:13:25,339
♪ No, it's fine ♪
1405
01:13:25,472 --> 01:13:28,409
♪ Really fine ♪
1406
01:13:28,542 --> 01:13:34,315
♪ Go be fine! ♪
1407
01:13:35,616 --> 01:13:37,451
And I want my pink shirt.
1408
01:14:16,056 --> 01:14:20,561
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1409
01:14:21,428 --> 01:14:26,766
♪ And I am a massive deal ♪
1410
01:14:26,900 --> 01:14:32,640
♪ I will grind you to sand ♪
1411
01:14:32,772 --> 01:14:37,845
♪ Beneath my Louboutin-ed heel ♪
1412
01:14:37,978 --> 01:14:42,650
♪ This is what I get
For helping ♪
1413
01:14:42,782 --> 01:14:47,821
♪ Helping someone lame fit in ♪
1414
01:14:47,955 --> 01:14:50,224
♪ Cady Heron ♪
1415
01:14:50,357 --> 01:14:55,362
♪ Enjoy your temporary win ♪
1416
01:14:58,732 --> 01:15:02,970
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1417
01:15:03,871 --> 01:15:09,076
♪ "This girl is a fugly cow" ♪
1418
01:15:09,209 --> 01:15:11,645
♪ Hey, Cady ♪
1419
01:15:11,779 --> 01:15:19,019
♪ How you like me now? ♪
1420
01:15:20,254 --> 01:15:22,656
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1421
01:15:22,790 --> 01:15:25,359
♪ I brought the gasoline ♪
1422
01:15:25,492 --> 01:15:27,594
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1423
01:15:27,728 --> 01:15:30,864
♪ And everyone get mean ♪
1424
01:15:30,998 --> 01:15:33,267
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1425
01:15:33,400 --> 01:15:35,436
♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1426
01:15:35,569 --> 01:15:38,072
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1427
01:15:38,205 --> 01:15:41,709
♪ And everyone get ♪
1428
01:15:41,842 --> 01:15:46,246
♪ Mean ♪
1429
01:16:02,396 --> 01:16:05,299
♪ Cady, time to
Watch your back ♪
1430
01:16:05,432 --> 01:16:07,901
♪ Cady, time to turn and cough ♪
1431
01:16:08,035 --> 01:16:10,537
♪ Because you took me down ♪
1432
01:16:10,671 --> 01:16:15,676
♪ But you didn't finish me off ♪
1433
01:16:18,412 --> 01:16:20,781
♪ My name is Regina George ♪
1434
01:16:20,914 --> 01:16:23,450
♪ And in case
You're keeping score ♪
1435
01:16:23,584 --> 01:16:25,953
♪ Cady may have won the battle ♪
1436
01:16:26,086 --> 01:16:28,756
♪ But I will win the war ♪
1437
01:16:30,491 --> 01:16:33,761
I'm just so upset, Mr. Duvall.
1438
01:16:33,894 --> 01:16:35,195
We found it in the hallway.
1439
01:16:35,329 --> 01:16:37,798
I mean, the things
it says about me?
1440
01:16:37,931 --> 01:16:39,233
The things it says
about all of us?
1441
01:16:39,366 --> 01:16:41,101
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1442
01:16:41,235 --> 01:16:43,737
♪ Trang Pham
Is a grotsky byotch! ♪
1443
01:16:45,672 --> 01:16:49,710
"Rachel Hamilton fills
her inhaler with vodka"?
1444
01:16:49,844 --> 01:16:52,279
I mean... does that work?
1445
01:16:54,348 --> 01:16:55,783
♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1446
01:16:55,916 --> 01:16:57,317
♪ Ms. Norbury's ♪
1447
01:16:57,451 --> 01:16:58,887
♪ A drug pusher! ♪
No, no, no. No!
1448
01:16:59,019 --> 01:17:02,289
"Ms. Norbury is a sad,
old drug pusher"?
1449
01:17:03,858 --> 01:17:06,660
"Haley Fralenger has" ...what?
1450
01:17:06,794 --> 01:17:07,896
What's this?
Hairy nips.
1451
01:17:09,797 --> 01:17:11,398
Good Lord.
1452
01:17:11,532 --> 01:17:14,435
♪ Mmm, I want
To make the world burn ♪
1453
01:17:14,568 --> 01:17:16,838
♪ Janis is a pyro-lez! ♪
1454
01:17:16,970 --> 01:17:19,139
Don't you worry.
We're gonna find out
who did this.
1455
01:17:19,273 --> 01:17:22,075
There's only three girls
in the whole school
who aren't in it.
1456
01:17:22,209 --> 01:17:24,879
♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪
1457
01:17:25,012 --> 01:17:27,247
♪ Regina is a fugly cow! ♪
1458
01:17:27,381 --> 01:17:29,149
♪ You wrote this ♪
1459
01:17:29,283 --> 01:17:32,453
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪
1460
01:17:32,586 --> 01:17:35,055
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1461
01:17:35,189 --> 01:17:37,524
♪ I got the gasoline ♪
1462
01:17:37,658 --> 01:17:40,093
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1463
01:17:40,227 --> 01:17:43,030
♪ And everyone turn ♪
1464
01:17:43,163 --> 01:17:47,734
♪ Mean... Mean ♪
1465
01:17:47,869 --> 01:17:53,140
♪ Mean! ♪
1466
01:17:53,273 --> 01:17:55,309
"Damian Hubbard
is too gay to function"?
1467
01:17:55,442 --> 01:17:56,977
That is only okay
when I say it.
1468
01:17:57,110 --> 01:17:58,645
Only Cady could
have written that.
1469
01:18:03,083 --> 01:18:08,388
♪ I want to watch
The world burn ♪
1470
01:18:08,522 --> 01:18:12,759
♪ I want to make
The world turn ♪
1471
01:18:12,894 --> 01:18:18,098
♪ So mean! ♪
1472
01:18:18,232 --> 01:18:20,000
Oh, hell no!
1473
01:18:20,133 --> 01:18:23,770
I did not go
to graduate school for this.
1474
01:18:23,905 --> 01:18:29,142
♪ I want to watch
The world burn! ♪
1475
01:18:29,276 --> 01:18:34,883
All junior girls report
to the gymnasium immediately!
1476
01:18:35,015 --> 01:18:36,717
Immediately!
1477
01:18:49,162 --> 01:18:52,199
Never in my 31 years
as an educator
1478
01:18:52,332 --> 01:18:53,868
have I seen such behavior.
1479
01:18:54,002 --> 01:18:57,170
I have half a mind to cancel
your Spring Fling dance!
1480
01:18:57,304 --> 01:18:59,239
No!
I object.
1481
01:19:01,174 --> 01:19:02,342
But we're not gonna do that
1482
01:19:02,476 --> 01:19:04,111
because we've already paid
the DJ.
1483
01:19:04,244 --> 01:19:08,917
But I am taking
this "Burn Book" seriously.
1484
01:19:09,049 --> 01:19:11,184
Now who has something
to say about this?
1485
01:19:19,526 --> 01:19:20,694
Someone wrote in that book
1486
01:19:20,828 --> 01:19:22,062
that I'm lying
about being a virgin
1487
01:19:22,195 --> 01:19:24,631
because I use
super-jumbo tampons.
1488
01:19:24,765 --> 01:19:27,067
But I can't help it
if I have a heavy flow
1489
01:19:27,200 --> 01:19:28,602
and a wideset vagina.
1490
01:19:28,735 --> 01:19:32,706
Okay. Thank you.
Hold that thought.
1491
01:19:33,707 --> 01:19:36,143
Sharon, you need
to run this.
Oh, come on.
1492
01:19:36,276 --> 01:19:37,845
I need to be able
to tell parents
1493
01:19:37,979 --> 01:19:40,048
that we fixed this,
and honestly,
1494
01:19:40,180 --> 01:19:41,849
you need to prove
whoever called you
1495
01:19:41,983 --> 01:19:45,053
a drug pusher
was just joking.
1496
01:19:45,185 --> 01:19:46,955
Okay, fine,
but you are walking the dogs
1497
01:19:47,087 --> 01:19:48,990
every morning
for the rest of the week.
1498
01:19:49,122 --> 01:19:50,691
Thank you. I love you.
1499
01:19:50,825 --> 01:19:52,459
I love you, too.
1500
01:19:57,564 --> 01:19:58,765
♪ Well ♪
1501
01:19:58,900 --> 01:20:00,801
Excuse me.
1502
01:20:02,235 --> 01:20:06,206
Well, okay, hotshots,
1503
01:20:06,874 --> 01:20:08,475
who wrote all this junk?
1504
01:20:11,012 --> 01:20:12,179
Cady?
1505
01:20:12,947 --> 01:20:14,615
Any ideas?
1506
01:20:16,951 --> 01:20:17,819
No.
1507
01:20:17,952 --> 01:20:19,319
Interesting.
1508
01:20:19,453 --> 01:20:20,888
Um, can I just say,
1509
01:20:21,022 --> 01:20:23,190
I don't think we have a clique
problem at this school?
1510
01:20:23,323 --> 01:20:25,626
And some of us
shouldn't have to participate
1511
01:20:25,759 --> 01:20:27,427
in whatever this is,
1512
01:20:27,561 --> 01:20:29,396
um, just because
of a few bad people.
1513
01:20:29,529 --> 01:20:31,665
"A few bad people."
Mm-hmm.
1514
01:20:31,798 --> 01:20:35,636
Okay.
Well, let's unpack that.
1515
01:20:35,769 --> 01:20:38,372
I want everybody
to close your eyes.
1516
01:20:40,407 --> 01:20:41,608
And I want you
to raise your hand
1517
01:20:41,742 --> 01:20:43,777
if you have ever had
a girl say something bad
1518
01:20:43,911 --> 01:20:45,312
about you behind your back.
1519
01:20:47,081 --> 01:20:49,449
Open your eyes.
1520
01:20:52,319 --> 01:20:54,088
Now close them again.
1521
01:20:54,221 --> 01:20:56,423
This time I want you
to raise your hand
1522
01:20:56,556 --> 01:20:58,425
if you have ever said
something bad
1523
01:20:58,558 --> 01:21:00,527
about a friend
behind her back.
1524
01:21:09,302 --> 01:21:10,905
Open your eyes.
1525
01:21:14,241 --> 01:21:15,342
Hmm.
1526
01:21:15,475 --> 01:21:17,145
Seems like maybe
we could take a break
1527
01:21:17,277 --> 01:21:20,114
from being victims
in this situation
1528
01:21:20,247 --> 01:21:21,983
and start taking
responsibility
1529
01:21:22,116 --> 01:21:23,750
for our own actions.
1530
01:21:23,885 --> 01:21:26,286
Okay, we're gonna write out
some apologies
1531
01:21:26,420 --> 01:21:28,689
to people that we've hurt
in our lives.
1532
01:21:28,823 --> 01:21:30,323
Everybody up.
1533
01:21:32,693 --> 01:21:34,829
I'm gonna kill you.
1534
01:21:34,962 --> 01:21:37,698
'Cause one thing
I know for sure, guys:
1535
01:21:37,832 --> 01:21:41,668
Calling someone "ugly" is not
gonna make you better looking.
1536
01:21:41,802 --> 01:21:45,338
Calling somebody else "stupid"
does not make you any smarter.
1537
01:21:45,472 --> 01:21:48,076
And we as women have
to be able to trust
1538
01:21:48,208 --> 01:21:50,777
and support each other.
1539
01:21:50,912 --> 01:21:51,946
Like this.
1540
01:21:55,549 --> 01:21:57,151
Okay, that was good.
That was really good.
1541
01:21:57,284 --> 01:21:59,619
That could have
really backfired.
1542
01:21:59,753 --> 01:22:00,922
Alyssa,
1543
01:22:01,055 --> 01:22:02,957
I'm sorry I said you look
like you comb your hair
1544
01:22:03,091 --> 01:22:04,324
with a chicken bone.
1545
01:22:05,993 --> 01:22:08,228
I know you're vegetarian.
1546
01:22:11,331 --> 01:22:14,468
Gretchen, I'm sorry I
laughed at you that time
you got diarrhea
1547
01:22:14,601 --> 01:22:16,603
on the Ferris wheel.
1548
01:22:16,737 --> 01:22:18,705
And I'm sorry
for repeating it now.
1549
01:22:18,840 --> 01:22:21,008
And I'm sorry to the people
who were below us.
1550
01:22:24,244 --> 01:22:25,345
Soona,
1551
01:22:25,479 --> 01:22:27,181
I'm sorry I said
you were dragging
1552
01:22:27,314 --> 01:22:29,282
during "Revenge Party."
1553
01:22:29,416 --> 01:22:31,152
There was just, like,
so much pressure on us
1554
01:22:31,284 --> 01:22:33,020
to move the story forward
through montage.
1555
01:22:33,154 --> 01:22:34,122
Like, you know how it is.
1556
01:22:34,254 --> 01:22:36,490
What is going on?
1557
01:22:36,623 --> 01:22:37,758
Don't worry about it.
1558
01:22:37,892 --> 01:22:39,827
I just wish
we could all get along
1559
01:22:39,961 --> 01:22:42,196
like we used to
in elementary school.
1560
01:22:42,329 --> 01:22:44,564
I wish
I could bake a cake
1561
01:22:44,698 --> 01:22:47,869
made out of rainbows
and smiles.
1562
01:22:48,002 --> 01:22:50,537
Then we could all eat it
and be happy.
1563
01:22:50,670 --> 01:22:53,306
She don't even go here!
1564
01:22:54,274 --> 01:22:55,943
Do you go to this school?
1565
01:22:56,077 --> 01:22:58,478
I'm here for a track meet.
1566
01:22:58,612 --> 01:23:00,747
I just have a lot of feelings!
1567
01:23:00,882 --> 01:23:02,984
Okay, sweetheart,
you got to go home.
1568
01:23:05,019 --> 01:23:06,553
- Come on, we're gonna...
- Oh, thank you.
1569
01:23:06,686 --> 01:23:08,522
...we're gonna call
your grown-up.
1570
01:23:09,090 --> 01:23:10,423
My turn, I guess.
1571
01:23:10,557 --> 01:23:12,425
Watch, this is either gonna be
some really crappy art
1572
01:23:12,559 --> 01:23:13,961
or really good fire.
1573
01:23:21,401 --> 01:23:23,171
Okay, sure.
1574
01:23:23,303 --> 01:23:25,338
I have an apology.
1575
01:23:26,473 --> 01:23:28,375
My friend and I thought
it would be fun
1576
01:23:28,508 --> 01:23:31,279
to mess up
Regina George's life.
1577
01:23:31,411 --> 01:23:33,480
So we got
these candy-bar things
1578
01:23:33,613 --> 01:23:35,216
to make her gain weight...
1579
01:23:35,348 --> 01:23:38,085
...and we told her lard
was face cream.
1580
01:23:39,519 --> 01:23:42,756
And we turned her best friends
against her.
1581
01:23:43,557 --> 01:23:45,226
And then my friend Cady...
1582
01:23:45,358 --> 01:23:47,727
Yeah, you all know
my friend Cady.
1583
01:23:47,862 --> 01:23:52,766
She got Regina's boyfriend
to dump her!
1584
01:23:52,900 --> 01:23:54,534
Oh!
1585
01:23:54,668 --> 01:23:55,837
And it turns out,
1586
01:23:55,970 --> 01:23:57,939
Cady's actually
just as selfish
1587
01:23:58,072 --> 01:24:00,808
and phony as Regina George.
1588
01:24:02,310 --> 01:24:04,544
So this apology is to myself.
1589
01:24:05,579 --> 01:24:07,614
Because I should've
known better.
1590
01:24:08,950 --> 01:24:10,517
♪ So your best friend
Screwed you over ♪
1591
01:24:10,650 --> 01:24:12,320
♪ Acted nice when
She's not nice ♪
1592
01:24:12,452 --> 01:24:14,055
♪ Well, I have some advice ♪
1593
01:24:14,188 --> 01:24:16,023
♪ 'Cause it's happened
To me twice ♪
1594
01:24:16,157 --> 01:24:19,260
♪ Here's my secret strategy
It always works because ♪
1595
01:24:19,392 --> 01:24:22,395
♪ The world doesn't end
It just feels like it does ♪
1596
01:24:22,529 --> 01:24:25,565
♪ Just raise your right finger ♪
1597
01:24:25,699 --> 01:24:29,837
♪ And solemnly swear ♪
1598
01:24:29,971 --> 01:24:33,207
♪ Whatever they say about me ♪
1599
01:24:33,341 --> 01:24:36,376
♪ I don't care ♪
1600
01:24:36,509 --> 01:24:38,511
♪ I won't twist in knots
To join your game ♪
1601
01:24:38,645 --> 01:24:40,380
♪ I will say
"You make me mad" ♪
1602
01:24:40,513 --> 01:24:43,550
♪ And if you treat me bad
I'll say, "You're bad" ♪
1603
01:24:43,683 --> 01:24:45,518
♪ If I eat alone
From this moment on ♪
1604
01:24:45,652 --> 01:24:47,255
♪ That's just what I'll do ♪
1605
01:24:47,387 --> 01:24:50,590
♪ 'Cause I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me ♪
1606
01:24:50,724 --> 01:24:53,261
♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1607
01:24:53,393 --> 01:24:55,897
♪ Than be with you ♪
1608
01:25:01,168 --> 01:25:02,837
♪ We're supposed
To all be ladies ♪
1609
01:25:02,970 --> 01:25:04,738
♪ And be nurturing and care ♪
1610
01:25:04,872 --> 01:25:06,240
♪ Is that really fair? ♪
1611
01:25:06,374 --> 01:25:08,075
♪ Boys get to fight
We have to share ♪
1612
01:25:08,209 --> 01:25:09,442
♪ Here's the way that
That turns out ♪
1613
01:25:09,576 --> 01:25:11,345
♪ We always understand ♪
1614
01:25:11,478 --> 01:25:14,547
♪ How to slap someone down
With our underhand ♪
1615
01:25:14,681 --> 01:25:18,386
♪ So here is my right finger ♪
1616
01:25:18,518 --> 01:25:21,822
♪ To how girls should behave ♪
1617
01:25:21,956 --> 01:25:25,492
♪ 'Cause sometimes
What's meant to break you ♪
1618
01:25:25,625 --> 01:25:28,628
♪ Makes you brave ♪
1619
01:25:28,762 --> 01:25:32,033
♪ So I will not act all innocent
I won't fake apologize ♪
1620
01:25:32,166 --> 01:25:33,868
♪ Let's just fight
And then make up ♪
1621
01:25:34,001 --> 01:25:35,802
♪ Not tell these lies ♪
1622
01:25:35,937 --> 01:25:37,604
♪ Let's call our damage even ♪
1623
01:25:37,737 --> 01:25:39,439
♪ Clean the slate
Till it's like new ♪
1624
01:25:39,572 --> 01:25:42,843
♪ It's a new life for me
Where I'd rather be me ♪
1625
01:25:42,977 --> 01:25:45,445
♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1626
01:25:45,578 --> 01:25:47,915
♪ Than be with you ♪
1627
01:25:49,383 --> 01:25:51,118
♪ I'll say, "No" ♪
♪ No! ♪
1628
01:25:51,252 --> 01:25:52,752
♪ I'll say, "Knock it off
With your notes ♪
1629
01:25:52,887 --> 01:25:54,822
♪ And your rules
And your games" ♪
1630
01:25:54,956 --> 01:25:56,958
♪ And those sycophants
Who follow you
I'll remember all their names ♪
1631
01:25:57,091 --> 01:26:00,194
♪ And when they drag you down
Like they inevitably do ♪
1632
01:26:00,328 --> 01:26:02,063
♪ I will not laugh along
With them ♪
1633
01:26:02,196 --> 01:26:03,530
♪ And approve
Their palace coup ♪
1634
01:26:03,663 --> 01:26:05,565
♪ 'Cause that's not me ♪
1635
01:26:07,301 --> 01:26:08,869
♪ I don't need
Their good opinions ♪
1636
01:26:09,003 --> 01:26:11,005
♪ I've got plenty of opinions ♪
1637
01:26:11,138 --> 01:26:14,175
♪ Every asshole has opinions
But it doesn't make 'em true ♪
1638
01:26:14,308 --> 01:26:17,744
♪ What's true is being me
And I'd rather be me ♪
1639
01:26:17,878 --> 01:26:20,147
♪ I'd rather be me ♪
1640
01:26:20,281 --> 01:26:22,984
♪ Than be with you ♪
1641
01:26:24,285 --> 01:26:28,189
♪ So raise 'em high
'Cause playing nice and shy ♪
1642
01:26:28,322 --> 01:26:32,360
♪ Is insulting my IQ ♪
1643
01:26:32,492 --> 01:26:35,930
♪ I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me ♪
1644
01:26:36,063 --> 01:26:39,467
♪ I'd rather be me
Than be with you ♪
1645
01:26:39,599 --> 01:26:41,035
Walk away, turd.
1646
01:26:41,168 --> 01:26:43,871
Regina, I'm so sorry!
I didn't mean to hurt you!
1647
01:26:44,005 --> 01:26:46,273
You are
a lowlife version of me...
1648
01:26:46,407 --> 01:26:49,877
♪ I'd rather be me
I'd rather be me ♪
1649
01:26:50,011 --> 01:26:55,349
♪ I'd rather be me
Than be with ♪
1650
01:26:55,483 --> 01:26:59,020
♪ You! ♪
1651
01:27:07,028 --> 01:27:10,031
And that's how
Regina George died.
1652
01:27:10,164 --> 01:27:13,401
Again, no one died!
1653
01:27:13,533 --> 01:27:16,404
I mean, technically, Regina
did die for, like, 15 seconds
1654
01:27:16,536 --> 01:27:18,139
but then she was revived.
1655
01:27:18,272 --> 01:27:21,308
And of course,
the rumor mill
started going insane.
1656
01:27:21,442 --> 01:27:23,710
I just saw
Regina get hit by a bus.
1657
01:27:23,844 --> 01:27:26,213
An artery come out
of her neck and her head
went all the way around!
1658
01:27:26,347 --> 01:27:27,848
Guys, street safety
is so important.
1659
01:27:27,982 --> 01:27:29,984
I'm just sad, like,
that's all I can say.
1660
01:27:33,888 --> 01:27:35,622
We are sending
our love and prayers...
1661
01:27:35,755 --> 01:27:37,958
Link in bio to my GoFundMe
page to raise money.
1662
01:27:38,092 --> 01:27:39,360
Regina, we knew
you would pull through.
1663
01:27:39,493 --> 01:27:40,828
How do I get this
off my algorithm?
1664
01:27:40,961 --> 01:27:42,562
I'm not one
to spread rumors,
1665
01:27:42,695 --> 01:27:44,865
but I'm pretty sure I saw Cady
push her right in front of it.
1666
01:27:44,999 --> 01:27:46,834
On my life, Cady pushed her.
1667
01:27:46,967 --> 01:27:49,236
I literally saw Cady
push Regina.
1668
01:27:49,370 --> 01:27:51,172
Don't fill up my comments,
but... karma.
1669
01:27:51,305 --> 01:27:54,475
Girls are made deranged
by what's called hormones.
1670
01:27:54,607 --> 01:27:55,742
Hormones.
1671
01:27:55,876 --> 01:28:00,580
W-H-O-R...
1672
01:28:06,120 --> 01:28:08,688
- F that bitch.
- F that wench.
1673
01:28:15,830 --> 01:28:17,164
All right.
1674
01:28:17,298 --> 01:28:21,402
Ms. Norbury is on a, uh,
temporary leave of absence.
1675
01:28:21,535 --> 01:28:22,937
Jail.
Hey.
1676
01:28:23,070 --> 01:28:25,705
I heard that, Miss Rockwell.
1677
01:28:25,840 --> 01:28:28,442
Anyways, we're not sure
who your substitute...
1678
01:28:28,576 --> 01:28:30,610
I did it.
1679
01:28:32,480 --> 01:28:35,883
I wrote that Ms. Norbury is
a drug pusher, and it's a lie.
1680
01:28:46,093 --> 01:28:48,963
Three-week suspension.
1681
01:28:49,096 --> 01:28:52,433
This is not
who I know you to be.
1682
01:28:52,566 --> 01:28:53,733
I know.
1683
01:28:57,737 --> 01:28:59,039
Where is my Ndebele vase?
1684
01:28:59,173 --> 01:29:02,076
- What?
- What do you mean, what?
1685
01:29:02,209 --> 01:29:05,112
You know, the colorful vase
that's always in that window.
1686
01:29:05,246 --> 01:29:06,713
Where is it?
1687
01:29:10,918 --> 01:29:13,921
I had some friends over
when you were away.
1688
01:29:14,054 --> 01:29:15,156
Go.
1689
01:29:15,289 --> 01:29:16,656
Go do your homework!
1690
01:29:16,789 --> 01:29:18,959
Um, also...
1691
01:29:20,194 --> 01:29:22,563
I need you to sign
my Calculus test,
1692
01:29:22,695 --> 01:29:24,064
'cause I'm failing.
1693
01:29:55,029 --> 01:29:56,363
Hey.
1694
01:29:56,497 --> 01:29:59,833
I guess you'll need this back
to set an alarm for tomorrow.
1695
01:30:00,467 --> 01:30:01,902
Don't want it.
1696
01:30:02,036 --> 01:30:04,104
You only have one message.
1697
01:30:04,238 --> 01:30:06,840
From someone named Karen,
who says:
1698
01:30:06,974 --> 01:30:10,277
"Donut worry.
I am still your freend."
1699
01:30:14,582 --> 01:30:16,650
How bad is it gonna
be tomorrow?
1700
01:30:16,783 --> 01:30:18,452
I was thinking maybe
I should go back
1701
01:30:18,586 --> 01:30:19,987
to being homeschooled.
1702
01:30:20,120 --> 01:30:21,088
Sweetie, no.
1703
01:30:21,222 --> 01:30:22,856
It's too small, me and you.
1704
01:30:22,990 --> 01:30:24,825
And I think
you're learning things now
1705
01:30:24,959 --> 01:30:27,027
that I don't know
how to teach.
1706
01:30:33,234 --> 01:30:34,767
Good night.
1707
01:30:35,603 --> 01:30:37,404
Mom?
Hmm?
1708
01:30:39,006 --> 01:30:43,277
Can you sit with me
till I fall asleep?
1709
01:30:43,911 --> 01:30:45,112
Mm-hmm.
1710
01:30:56,457 --> 01:30:58,758
Oh, sweetie.
1711
01:31:18,812 --> 01:31:21,115
Oh, hi. Did you want
to buy some drugs?
1712
01:31:21,248 --> 01:31:23,951
No, I was just handing
my quiz back.
1713
01:31:24,084 --> 01:31:26,786
You know, when the police
tore apart my house
1714
01:31:26,920 --> 01:31:28,355
looking for imaginary heroin,
1715
01:31:28,489 --> 01:31:31,492
I found this old calculator
that I thought I lost, so...
1716
01:31:31,625 --> 01:31:33,227
totally worth it.
1717
01:31:33,927 --> 01:31:35,262
I'm really sorry.
1718
01:31:35,396 --> 01:31:36,630
Thank you.
1719
01:31:36,764 --> 01:31:38,732
But I know you didn't write
that whole book yourself.
1720
01:31:38,866 --> 01:31:40,367
You gonna tell Mr. Duvall
who did?
1721
01:31:41,602 --> 01:31:42,802
No.
1722
01:31:42,936 --> 01:31:44,872
Trying this new thing
where I don't talk
1723
01:31:45,005 --> 01:31:46,307
about people
behind their backs.
1724
01:31:46,440 --> 01:31:49,977
Getting hit by a bus seems
like enough punishment.
1725
01:31:51,045 --> 01:31:53,514
100.
Welcome back, nerd.
1726
01:31:55,282 --> 01:31:57,718
Will you be attending
the Spring Fling this weekend?
1727
01:31:57,851 --> 01:31:59,987
No. Everyone hates me.
1728
01:32:00,120 --> 01:32:02,389
Perfect, because
I figured out a way for you
1729
01:32:02,523 --> 01:32:03,657
to earn some extra credit.
1730
01:32:03,791 --> 01:32:05,292
Hey, Bird,
you ready to suit up
1731
01:32:05,426 --> 01:32:07,361
and show off
your math schquills?
1732
01:32:07,494 --> 01:32:09,396
Kev, stop trying
to make "schquills" happen.
It's not gonna happen.
1733
01:32:09,530 --> 01:32:12,933
Jacob, get off my dick.
Hey! PG-13, please.
1734
01:32:30,351 --> 01:32:32,920
Welcome to the ICMT
State Math Championships.
1735
01:32:33,053 --> 01:32:34,823
Sponsored by SeatGeek.
1736
01:32:34,955 --> 01:32:36,357
Yeah, SeatGeek!
1737
01:32:36,490 --> 01:32:38,058
Tonight will be
the culmination
1738
01:32:38,192 --> 01:32:40,994
of all you've worked for.
1739
01:32:41,128 --> 01:32:43,063
Each right answer
will be worth two points.
1740
01:32:43,197 --> 01:32:46,835
The highest score at the end
of 40 minutes of play wins.
1741
01:32:46,967 --> 01:32:50,037
As always, no calculators.
1742
01:32:51,071 --> 01:32:53,907
Question one.
Two, three, four!
1743
01:32:58,879 --> 01:33:01,949
Determine the equation of
the tangent line to the graph.
1744
01:33:03,283 --> 01:33:05,319
- The answer is B.
- Correct.
1745
01:33:05,452 --> 01:33:08,322
Solve the equation above
using prime numbers.
1746
01:33:08,455 --> 01:33:10,624
Prime factor 41.
1747
01:33:10,758 --> 01:33:12,059
Correct.
1748
01:33:12,192 --> 01:33:13,862
Please solve for x.
1749
01:33:13,994 --> 01:33:16,096
- x = 2?
- Incorrect.
1750
01:33:16,230 --> 01:33:17,866
x is greater
than the value of y.
1751
01:33:17,998 --> 01:33:19,967
Correct.
1752
01:33:21,201 --> 01:33:23,303
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1753
01:33:23,437 --> 01:33:26,106
♪ I didn't get it ♪
1754
01:33:26,240 --> 01:33:30,344
♪ I didn't get it, somehow ♪
1755
01:33:30,477 --> 01:33:34,314
♪ Smart with math
But stupid with love ♪
1756
01:33:34,448 --> 01:33:36,617
♪ I didn't get it ♪
1757
01:33:36,750 --> 01:33:37,785
Negative two!
1758
01:33:37,918 --> 01:33:38,853
Correct.
1759
01:33:38,986 --> 01:33:40,954
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1760
01:33:42,489 --> 01:33:44,792
♪ Whoa-oa-oa
Stupid with love ♪
1761
01:33:44,925 --> 01:33:47,327
= mx + c.
Correct.
1762
01:33:47,461 --> 01:33:49,596
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1763
01:33:51,265 --> 01:33:52,834
♪ Whoa-oa-oa
Stupid with love ♪
1764
01:33:52,966 --> 01:33:54,301
Both polynomials
are second degree,
1765
01:33:54,435 --> 01:33:55,969
so the asymptote is at y = 5.
1766
01:33:56,103 --> 01:33:57,538
Excellent.
1767
01:33:57,671 --> 01:33:59,239
♪ I feel my brain
Begin to rust ♪
1768
01:33:59,373 --> 01:34:01,375
♪ I am filled with calcu-lust ♪
1769
01:34:01,508 --> 01:34:03,343
♪ Does this guy work out?
He must ♪
1770
01:34:03,477 --> 01:34:05,546
♪ All sweaty at the gym ♪
1771
01:34:05,679 --> 01:34:09,783
♪ Could that image be more hot?
Let me just enjoy
That thought ♪
1772
01:34:09,918 --> 01:34:11,185
♪ School was rough ♪
1773
01:34:11,318 --> 01:34:12,286
♪ But now it's not ♪
1774
01:34:12,419 --> 01:34:13,520
Negative four?
1775
01:34:13,654 --> 01:34:14,823
True.
1776
01:34:14,955 --> 01:34:15,989
29?
1777
01:34:16,123 --> 01:34:17,124
The slope is zero.
1778
01:34:17,257 --> 01:34:18,392
Incorrect.
1779
01:34:18,525 --> 01:34:19,993
The slope
of the tangent line is four.
1780
01:34:20,127 --> 01:34:22,696
Excellent.
1781
01:34:22,831 --> 01:34:25,399
Well, this has only ever
happened once before.
1782
01:34:25,532 --> 01:34:28,735
Ladies and gentlemen,
we have a tie.
1783
01:34:31,004 --> 01:34:32,239
In the event of a tie,
1784
01:34:32,372 --> 01:34:34,943
we move into a one-on-one
sudden-death round
1785
01:34:35,075 --> 01:34:37,311
where each team
may choose their opponent.
1786
01:34:43,750 --> 01:34:45,352
We pick the girl.
1787
01:34:46,955 --> 01:34:48,689
We pick the girl, too.
1788
01:34:51,358 --> 01:34:53,828
Ms. Krafft, Ms. Heron,
please step forward.
1789
01:35:10,410 --> 01:35:13,313
Nice to meet you.
Whatever, slut.
1790
01:35:13,447 --> 01:35:17,217
Contestants, please find
the limit of this expression.
1791
01:35:21,588 --> 01:35:23,524
You know,
it's not me against you.
1792
01:35:23,657 --> 01:35:27,227
It's North Shore
versus Marymount.
1793
01:35:28,128 --> 01:35:29,998
A very wise teacher...
1794
01:35:30,130 --> 01:35:31,698
The limit is negative one.
1795
01:35:33,100 --> 01:35:35,068
That answer is incorrect.
1796
01:35:37,070 --> 01:35:40,073
If Ms. Heron
can answer correctly,
we have a winner.
1797
01:35:40,207 --> 01:35:42,743
You got this, Golf Bird.
1798
01:35:42,877 --> 01:35:45,947
Why can't I remember
anything about limits?
1799
01:35:46,079 --> 01:35:48,248
Honey, I don't know your life.
1800
01:35:49,583 --> 01:35:51,585
Why did you waste time
insulting me?
1801
01:35:51,718 --> 01:35:53,720
Why did I waste time
judging your hair?
1802
01:35:53,855 --> 01:35:55,589
This is not a competition.
1803
01:35:56,290 --> 01:35:58,058
It kind of is, though.
1804
01:35:58,191 --> 01:35:59,827
Right.
1805
01:36:00,727 --> 01:36:02,195
A math one.
1806
01:36:03,363 --> 01:36:05,432
♪ I was stupid ♪
1807
01:36:06,400 --> 01:36:07,936
♪ But now I get it ♪
1808
01:36:08,068 --> 01:36:12,205
♪ No what ifs, might haves
Could have been if I had ♪
1809
01:36:12,339 --> 01:36:14,508
♪ Only tried, not held back ♪
1810
01:36:14,641 --> 01:36:16,777
♪ That's not a part of my plan ♪
1811
01:36:16,911 --> 01:36:18,846
♪ I see the things
That I missed ♪
1812
01:36:18,980 --> 01:36:21,148
♪ No, that's not the me
That I am ♪
1813
01:36:21,281 --> 01:36:24,618
♪ The limit
It doesn't exist! ♪
1814
01:36:25,452 --> 01:36:27,120
The limit does not exist.
1815
01:36:27,254 --> 01:36:30,123
Our new state champions,
the North Shore Mathletes.
1816
01:36:34,394 --> 01:36:35,863
Yeah, you like that,
Marymount?
1817
01:36:35,997 --> 01:36:38,198
Get some! Get some!
1818
01:36:38,332 --> 01:36:39,968
Don't hold me back!
Don't hold me back!
1819
01:36:40,100 --> 01:36:41,936
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1820
01:36:42,603 --> 01:36:44,338
♪ But now I get it ♪
1821
01:36:44,471 --> 01:36:46,808
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1822
01:36:46,941 --> 01:36:48,943
♪ But now I get it ♪
1823
01:36:49,077 --> 01:36:50,777
♪ Stupid with love ♪
1824
01:36:50,912 --> 01:36:54,348
♪ But now I get it
Stupid! ♪
1825
01:36:54,816 --> 01:36:55,682
Have you seen Jason?
1826
01:36:55,817 --> 01:36:57,952
Like right now
or like ever in life?
1827
01:36:58,086 --> 01:36:59,419
Ohhh, miss!
1828
01:36:59,553 --> 01:37:01,755
I'm supposed to hang
with my fallback in there
1829
01:37:01,889 --> 01:37:03,357
but, you know,
if you wanted to slip out,
1830
01:37:03,490 --> 01:37:05,692
meet in my Jeep or...
Jason!
1831
01:37:05,827 --> 01:37:07,061
It's me!
1832
01:37:07,194 --> 01:37:08,462
"Fallback"?
1833
01:37:08,595 --> 01:37:10,865
No, I... I know.
Yeah, I knew the whole time.
1834
01:37:10,999 --> 01:37:12,967
No, we are done!
1835
01:37:13,101 --> 01:37:14,134
Because you know what?
1836
01:37:14,267 --> 01:37:18,138
I have a 140 IQ,
very toned legs,
1837
01:37:18,271 --> 01:37:20,207
and my parents love me!
1838
01:37:20,340 --> 01:37:22,275
And you will regret this
when you're old
1839
01:37:22,409 --> 01:37:24,678
because I am fricking fetch!
1840
01:37:24,812 --> 01:37:27,748
That's how you use it.
Come on.
1841
01:37:29,616 --> 01:37:31,718
Okay, attention, everybody.
1842
01:37:32,519 --> 01:37:35,656
Whoo-hoo-hoo,
let's go!
1843
01:37:42,930 --> 01:37:44,164
Regina!
1844
01:37:46,968 --> 01:37:48,602
You look pretty.
1845
01:37:50,704 --> 01:37:53,240
I'm wearing
a corrective neck collar.
1846
01:37:59,246 --> 01:38:02,616
I'm sorry about the bus.
I feel like it's all my fault.
1847
01:38:02,749 --> 01:38:04,952
No... No, it's not your fault.
1848
01:38:05,086 --> 01:38:07,721
Cady, don't apologize for
things that aren't your fault.
1849
01:38:07,855 --> 01:38:10,657
But, yeah,
I forgive you, 'cause...
1850
01:38:12,359 --> 01:38:14,128
I'm on a lot
of pain medication right now.
1851
01:38:14,261 --> 01:38:16,931
You know I died
for 15 seconds?
1852
01:38:17,065 --> 01:38:18,298
Yeah.
1853
01:38:19,599 --> 01:38:23,704
Anyway, my mom was really
pumped to be on the news.
1854
01:38:24,872 --> 01:38:26,306
It's weird
when people treat you
1855
01:38:26,440 --> 01:38:27,541
like you're famous
or something.
1856
01:38:30,178 --> 01:38:31,645
Until it's not.
1857
01:38:33,081 --> 01:38:37,417
Look, I...
I know I have to change.
1858
01:38:38,318 --> 01:38:40,353
And I was harsh.
1859
01:38:40,487 --> 01:38:41,956
And people say
that I'm a bitch.
1860
01:38:42,090 --> 01:38:44,859
You know what they would
call me if I was a boy?
1861
01:38:44,992 --> 01:38:47,627
Strong.
"Reginald."
1862
01:38:47,761 --> 01:38:51,565
That's what my mom was gonna
name me if I was a boy, so...
1863
01:38:51,698 --> 01:38:54,902
Honestly,
I would rather be "bitch."
1864
01:39:00,808 --> 01:39:02,642
I like you.
1865
01:39:02,776 --> 01:39:05,545
But this medicine
makes me like everyone, so...
1866
01:39:05,679 --> 01:39:07,781
Okay,
do we have all of our nominees
1867
01:39:07,915 --> 01:39:10,517
for the Spring Fling
King and Queen onstage?
1868
01:39:10,650 --> 01:39:12,786
I just want to say
you're all winners.
1869
01:39:12,920 --> 01:39:18,159
And I am retiring as soon
as this evening is over.
1870
01:39:19,559 --> 01:39:22,230
The winner
of the Spring Fling King is...
1871
01:39:22,395 --> 01:39:24,098
Shane Oman.
1872
01:39:26,234 --> 01:39:27,935
Whoo! Yeah!
1873
01:39:31,239 --> 01:39:32,472
Hey.
1874
01:39:33,941 --> 01:39:35,843
Um, have you seen Janis?
1875
01:39:35,977 --> 01:39:37,845
Every day since 2009.
1876
01:39:37,979 --> 01:39:39,446
But she doesn't want
to see you.
1877
01:39:39,579 --> 01:39:42,150
And
your Spring Fling Queen...
1878
01:39:42,282 --> 01:39:44,785
Damian, I'm...
I'm really sorry.
1879
01:39:44,919 --> 01:39:47,255
Cady Heron.
1880
01:39:47,387 --> 01:39:49,824
What?
I mean, of course she is.
1881
01:39:52,459 --> 01:39:54,327
Go, Cady!
1882
01:39:55,796 --> 01:39:56,998
Where is Cady?
1883
01:40:11,444 --> 01:40:12,847
Congratulations.
1884
01:40:16,851 --> 01:40:17,885
Um...
1885
01:40:19,053 --> 01:40:20,720
I think people voted for me
1886
01:40:20,855 --> 01:40:22,322
because they think
I pushed someone
1887
01:40:22,455 --> 01:40:23,623
in front of a bus.
1888
01:40:23,757 --> 01:40:27,327
It's not your fault.
A bus pushed me.
1889
01:40:30,998 --> 01:40:34,101
But what is my fault is
1890
01:40:34,235 --> 01:40:35,870
the way I treated my friends.
1891
01:40:37,305 --> 01:40:40,740
I used you and I lied to you
and I'm... I'm so sorry.
1892
01:40:44,145 --> 01:40:46,546
I'm also sorry to everyone
1893
01:40:46,680 --> 01:40:48,615
whose feelings got hurt
from the Burn Book.
1894
01:40:48,748 --> 01:40:50,284
You know,
it's really not required
1895
01:40:50,417 --> 01:40:51,785
for you to make a speech.
1896
01:40:51,919 --> 01:40:54,188
Right. Almost done,
I promise. Um...
1897
01:40:55,122 --> 01:40:58,960
I think everyone looks
like royalty tonight.
1898
01:40:59,093 --> 01:41:04,932
It just seems weird
for one person to win this.
1899
01:41:07,434 --> 01:41:10,370
I mean,
it's just a chunk of plastic.
1900
01:41:12,372 --> 01:41:14,976
We could just share it.
1901
01:41:18,846 --> 01:41:22,984
♪ Cheap, fake
Easy to break ♪
1902
01:41:23,117 --> 01:41:26,053
♪ That's how I used to be ♪
1903
01:41:26,187 --> 01:41:28,688
Here... Take it.
1904
01:41:28,823 --> 01:41:30,992
♪ Now I'm awake ♪
1905
01:41:31,125 --> 01:41:33,727
♪ I'll tell you what I see ♪
1906
01:41:33,861 --> 01:41:36,763
♪ Plastic don't shine
Glitter don't shine ♪
1907
01:41:36,898 --> 01:41:40,868
♪ Rhinestones don't shine
The way you do ♪
1908
01:41:41,002 --> 01:41:44,171
♪ You are so real
You are so rare ♪
1909
01:41:44,305 --> 01:41:47,074
♪ I see you there ♪
1910
01:41:47,208 --> 01:41:50,644
♪ I see you ♪
1911
01:41:50,777 --> 01:41:52,880
♪ I see stars ♪
1912
01:41:53,014 --> 01:41:56,384
♪ So many stars tonight ♪
1913
01:41:56,516 --> 01:42:00,553
♪ You could make diamonds dull ♪
1914
01:42:00,687 --> 01:42:04,292
♪ You are so beautiful ♪
1915
01:42:04,424 --> 01:42:06,994
♪ I see stars ♪
1916
01:42:07,128 --> 01:42:10,697
♪ You shine as bright as day ♪
1917
01:42:10,831 --> 01:42:13,834
♪ I will look out for you ♪
1918
01:42:13,968 --> 01:42:17,671
♪ We'll light each other's way ♪
1919
01:42:17,804 --> 01:42:22,109
♪ You're all stars ♪
1920
01:42:23,777 --> 01:42:25,445
All right,
have a good time, everyone.
1921
01:42:25,578 --> 01:42:26,479
No vaping.
1922
01:42:26,613 --> 01:42:27,681
Rachel Hamilton!
1923
01:42:27,815 --> 01:42:29,050
Give me that inhaler.
1924
01:42:43,697 --> 01:42:45,465
Are you still mad at me?
1925
01:42:45,598 --> 01:42:48,102
I don't know.
Are you still an asshole?
1926
01:42:48,802 --> 01:42:50,537
I don't think so?
1927
01:42:56,609 --> 01:42:58,145
Cute.
1928
01:42:59,679 --> 01:43:02,249
♪ Wherever darkness falls ♪
1929
01:43:02,383 --> 01:43:07,421
♪ I'll be the light ♪
1930
01:43:07,554 --> 01:43:11,092
♪ To guide you home ♪
1931
01:43:11,225 --> 01:43:13,294
She sounds good.
1932
01:43:14,095 --> 01:43:16,596
But she does not
go here, y'all.
1933
01:43:16,730 --> 01:43:19,766
Would you look over there?
Oh, my gosh!
1934
01:43:21,836 --> 01:43:24,171
Do you want to dance?
Yeah.
1935
01:43:28,809 --> 01:43:31,778
Congrats on winning state.
The jacket looks, uh,
really good on you.
1936
01:43:31,912 --> 01:43:35,515
Thanks. It has a pocket inside
for a calculator.
1937
01:43:35,648 --> 01:43:36,951
What?
Yeah.
1938
01:43:37,084 --> 01:43:38,085
Grool.
1939
01:43:39,519 --> 01:43:40,988
Grool.
1940
01:43:43,523 --> 01:43:46,626
♪ You stars ♪
1941
01:43:46,760 --> 01:43:50,297
♪ So many stars tonight ♪
1942
01:43:50,431 --> 01:43:53,000
♪ I see stars ♪
1943
01:43:53,134 --> 01:43:54,734
And that was
the first time in history
1944
01:43:54,869 --> 01:43:57,138
that Spring Fling
was actually fun.
1945
01:43:57,271 --> 01:44:01,876
Ms. Norbury and
Mr. Duvall got wasted. JK, JK.
1946
01:44:02,009 --> 01:44:04,677
Karen discovered
the safe joy
1947
01:44:04,812 --> 01:44:07,781
of dancing with theater boys.
1948
01:44:07,915 --> 01:44:11,651
And Plastics and Jocks
partied with math nerds.
1949
01:44:11,785 --> 01:44:13,320
Janis danced
to a pop song
1950
01:44:13,454 --> 01:44:15,189
and didn't burst into flames.
1951
01:44:15,856 --> 01:44:17,724
Ow. Ow. Ow!
1952
01:44:17,858 --> 01:44:21,028
And everyone else
just kind of floated.
1953
01:44:23,197 --> 01:44:25,366
So the moral
of our story is thus:
1954
01:44:25,499 --> 01:44:27,868
Calling someone stupid
won't make you any smarter.
1955
01:44:28,002 --> 01:44:29,904
And even the people
you really don't like
1956
01:44:30,037 --> 01:44:32,506
are still people
who just want to coexist.
1957
01:44:32,639 --> 01:44:35,209
So get off their dicks!
1958
01:44:38,145 --> 01:44:40,214
♪ I see ♪
1959
01:44:40,347 --> 01:44:44,085
♪ Stars! ♪
1960
01:44:48,222 --> 01:44:49,857
♪ Where she at?
What she doing? ♪
1961
01:44:49,990 --> 01:44:51,859
♪ Who she with
And where she from? ♪
1962
01:44:51,992 --> 01:44:53,793
♪ Well, she's this
Oh, she's that ♪
1963
01:44:53,928 --> 01:44:56,030
♪ She's a flight risk
On the run ♪
1964
01:44:56,163 --> 01:44:57,865
♪ She's back, she's back ♪
1965
01:44:57,998 --> 01:44:59,766
♪ Yeah, I'm back, bitch
Are you done? ♪
1966
01:44:59,900 --> 01:45:03,504
♪ Excuse me
While I bite my tongue ♪
1967
01:45:03,636 --> 01:45:07,541
♪ I'm back on that same shit
From before ♪
1968
01:45:07,674 --> 01:45:11,278
♪ I can't take this pettiness
Now I'm bored ♪
1969
01:45:11,412 --> 01:45:15,483
♪ We can champagne
There's enough for us all ♪
1970
01:45:15,615 --> 01:45:18,486
♪ Told you who I am
And what it is
It's not my fault ♪
1971
01:45:18,618 --> 01:45:22,523
♪ It's not my fault
You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
1972
01:45:22,655 --> 01:45:26,427
♪ It's not my fault
You've got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
1973
01:45:26,560 --> 01:45:28,395
♪ It's not my fault ♪
1974
01:45:28,529 --> 01:45:30,397
♪ You're like, you're like
You're like in love with me ♪
1975
01:45:30,531 --> 01:45:32,566
♪ It's not my fault
You're like in love with me ♪
1976
01:45:32,699 --> 01:45:34,634
♪ You're like in love with me ♪
1977
01:45:34,767 --> 01:45:38,305
♪ Get her number, get her name
Get a good thing
While you can ♪
1978
01:45:38,439 --> 01:45:42,543
♪ Kiss a blonde, kiss a friend
Can a gay girl get an amen? ♪
1979
01:45:42,675 --> 01:45:46,080
♪ I'm back on that same shit
From before ♪
1980
01:45:46,213 --> 01:45:49,984
♪ I can't take this pettiness
Now I'm bored ♪
1981
01:45:50,117 --> 01:45:54,054
♪ We can champagne
There's enough for us all ♪
1982
01:45:54,188 --> 01:45:56,223
♪ I told you who I am
And what it is ♪
1983
01:45:56,357 --> 01:45:58,658
♪ It's not my fault
It's not my fault ♪
1984
01:45:58,791 --> 01:46:01,095
♪ You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
1985
01:46:01,228 --> 01:46:02,997
♪ It's not my fault ♪
1986
01:46:03,130 --> 01:46:05,432
♪ You've got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
1987
01:46:05,566 --> 01:46:09,103
♪ It's not my fault
You're like, you're like
You're like in love with me ♪
1988
01:46:09,236 --> 01:46:11,704
♪ It's not my fault
You're like in love with me ♪
1989
01:46:11,839 --> 01:46:13,507
♪ You're like in love with me ♪
1990
01:46:13,641 --> 01:46:15,409
♪ I mean, who wouldn't want
To be in love with me ♪
1991
01:46:15,543 --> 01:46:17,411
♪ I'm a mood board
Girls got to Pinterest me ♪
1992
01:46:17,545 --> 01:46:19,446
♪ I'm a stallion but they come
And f... me like Trojan ♪
1993
01:46:19,580 --> 01:46:21,681
♪ And it wouldn't be me
If I ain't cause commotion ♪
1994
01:46:21,815 --> 01:46:24,385
♪ I'm so bad
Dudes thought I was AI
I ballin' like AI ♪
1995
01:46:24,518 --> 01:46:26,987
♪ I stick to a whole lot
Of paper like a stapler
Stack like Jenga ♪
1996
01:46:27,121 --> 01:46:28,721
♪ And you basic bitch
Get stroke like a painter ♪
1997
01:46:28,856 --> 01:46:30,824
♪ It's funny how the mean girl
Open all the doors ♪
1998
01:46:30,958 --> 01:46:32,960
♪ I've been told y'all
I'm the black Regina George ♪
1999
01:46:33,093 --> 01:46:34,694
♪ Bikini top, booty shorts
Megan core ♪
2000
01:46:34,828 --> 01:46:36,530
♪ You was hating back then
Now you finna hate more ♪
2001
01:46:36,664 --> 01:46:38,499
♪ I got influence
They do anything I endorse ♪
2002
01:46:38,632 --> 01:46:40,935
♪ I run s...
To be a bad bitch is a sport ♪
2003
01:46:41,068 --> 01:46:43,470
♪ I woke up hotter
Than I was yesterday ♪
2004
01:46:43,604 --> 01:46:47,740
♪ Don't care about no rules
'Cause I always get my way ♪
2005
01:46:47,875 --> 01:46:49,410
♪ It's not my fault ♪
2006
01:46:49,543 --> 01:46:51,812
♪ You came with her
But she might leave with me ♪
2007
01:46:51,946 --> 01:46:55,249
♪ It's not my fault
You've got to pay
For what I get for free ♪
2008
01:46:55,382 --> 01:46:59,119
♪ It's not my fault
You're like, you're like
You're like in love with me ♪
2009
01:46:59,253 --> 01:47:02,156
♪ It's not my fault
You're like in love with me ♪
2010
01:47:02,289 --> 01:47:03,723
♪ You're like in love with me ♪
2011
01:47:06,327 --> 01:47:08,596
♪ A sexy Quint
From sexy Jaws ♪
2012
01:47:08,728 --> 01:47:10,264
♪ Catching sexy sharks ♪
2013
01:47:10,397 --> 01:47:13,601
♪ Sexy Eleanor Roosevelt
Or sexy Joan of Arc ♪
2014
01:47:13,733 --> 01:47:17,504
♪ I can be a sexy pirate
Or a sexy ballet dancer ♪
2015
01:47:17,638 --> 01:47:22,309
♪ I can be a sexy doctor
And cure some sexy cancer! ♪
2016
01:47:34,154 --> 01:47:36,190
♪ Happy Halloween! ♪
2017
01:47:39,627 --> 01:47:42,896
♪ This is
Modern feminism talkin' ♪
2018
01:47:43,030 --> 01:47:46,799
♪ Watch me as I run the world
In shoes I cannot walk in ♪
2019
01:47:46,934 --> 01:47:50,137
♪ I can be who I want to be ♪
2020
01:47:50,271 --> 01:47:53,807
♪ And sex... sex ♪
2021
01:47:53,941 --> 01:47:58,679
♪ Sexy! ♪
2022
01:47:58,812 --> 01:48:01,181
I'm a sexy mouse. Duh!
2023
01:52:00,587 --> 01:52:01,655
You're next.
2024
01:52:01,788 --> 01:52:04,525
You could be really hot
if you change, like,
2025
01:52:04,658 --> 01:52:06,093
everything.