1 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:32,365 Okay, 2, 11, 24, you can go home, thanks. 2 00:00:32,448 --> 00:00:34,367 All right, everybody else, again, from the top. 3 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:35,326 No! 4 00:00:36,536 --> 00:00:39,456 - What is going on? - Auditions. 5 00:00:39,539 --> 00:00:42,167 Every year I hire performers to dress as Christmas elves, 6 00:00:42,250 --> 00:00:44,794 and they hand-deliver my holiday-party invitations. 7 00:00:44,878 --> 00:00:46,755 - How cute is that? - You can't do that anymore. 8 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,466 It's really offensive. 9 00:00:49,549 --> 00:00:51,134 These are working actors. 10 00:00:51,217 --> 00:00:54,137 This is a legitimate gig. I pay double the SAG rate. 11 00:00:54,220 --> 00:00:55,180 It's still wrong. 12 00:00:55,263 --> 00:00:58,350 - Why? - Because--because-- 13 00:00:59,976 --> 00:01:01,519 I don't know. I just woke up. 14 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,396 Can I have some time to think about it? 15 00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:05,690 Sure. You take your breakfast to figure it out. 16 00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:08,401 And if you can't, I never want to hear about it ever again. 17 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,111 Okay, everybody, from the top! 18 00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:16,408 Five, six, five, six, seven, eight! 19 00:01:20,789 --> 00:01:23,166 Get those shoulders down. All right. 20 00:01:24,167 --> 00:01:26,670 Snap! Think Fosse, snap! 21 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,553 Let's go, Deborah. You got it. 22 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,306 She's out of there. 23 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:41,559 Okay, we've got Walt McCarthy, owns 15 affiliate stations in Missouri. 24 00:01:41,643 --> 00:01:44,521 Conversation topics include toasted ravioli, 25 00:01:44,604 --> 00:01:47,148 doomsday prepping, and Cardinals baseball. 26 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,025 McCarthy, Missouri. McCarthy, Missouri. 27 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,068 Okay, got it. 28 00:01:52,152 --> 00:01:53,947 Next up, we have Cort Moreau, 29 00:01:54,030 --> 00:01:56,700 affiliates in Wisconsin and southern Illinois. 30 00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,493 Six kids, three cats. 31 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,453 Smelly house. 32 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:06,793 Are you sure you should be golfing with your ankle? 33 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,419 Can't you just emcee? 34 00:02:08,502 --> 00:02:11,756 The whole reason I took this emcee gig was to have as much face time as possible 35 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,842 with all the affiliate owners who are playing the tournament. 36 00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:17,053 They have a huge impact on who the network picks as the next host. 37 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,763 I have to charm them 38 00:02:18,847 --> 00:02:21,641 with personalized small talk and golf humor. 39 00:02:21,725 --> 00:02:24,769 By the way, I need ten tasteful hole jokes. 40 00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:26,980 - Card me. - Marty Ghilain. 41 00:02:27,063 --> 00:02:28,273 From the Palmetto? 42 00:02:28,356 --> 00:02:30,191 He owns an affiliate in Carson City. 43 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,317 His third wife wanted to be a weather girl. 44 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,528 She was actually pretty good. 45 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:36,823 Don't judge a book by her giant fake tits. 46 00:02:39,284 --> 00:02:40,660 Bellissima. 47 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:50,795 Gender-reveal parties are literally disgusting. 48 00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,673 - I'm surprised DJ invited you. - I asked if I could come. 49 00:02:53,757 --> 00:02:56,259 Ladies and gentlemen! 50 00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,804 Fighting out of Las Vegas, Nevada, 51 00:02:59,888 --> 00:03:05,894 please welcome DJ "The Love of My Life" Vance! 52 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,146 Yeah! 53 00:03:12,067 --> 00:03:14,235 Oh, yeah! 54 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,779 It's a boy! 55 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,155 Boy! 56 00:03:17,906 --> 00:03:20,200 Oh, Aidan, congratulations. 57 00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:22,327 Mom, can you please say hi to my family real fast? 58 00:03:22,410 --> 00:03:23,745 - Yeah, sure. - They're watching virtually. 59 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:27,207 Oh, of course. Yes, of course. Absolutely. 60 00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:30,585 - Hi, Linda McClellan. - That's my aunt. 61 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:33,046 Aunt Linda. Hi, how are you? 62 00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:36,716 And Kathy V. Who's Kathy V.? 63 00:03:37,716 --> 00:03:39,135 That's Aunt Kathy. 64 00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,514 - Mom! - What? 65 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,225 Look, I get that this is super awkward and she's the devil or whatever, 66 00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,644 but I still have a relationship with Aunt Kathy. 67 00:03:47,727 --> 00:03:50,146 And I want her to have a relationship with my son. 68 00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:53,441 It's a boy. 69 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,442 Oh, God, all of his friends are gonna think I'm hot, 70 00:03:55,527 --> 00:03:57,028 and that might be weird for him. 71 00:03:57,112 --> 00:03:58,321 Whatever. We'll work through it. 72 00:03:58,405 --> 00:03:59,656 What do you want me to say? 73 00:04:00,573 --> 00:04:02,033 I didn't really want to bring it up here, 74 00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:04,703 but I would like to invite her for Christmas. 75 00:04:04,786 --> 00:04:07,497 Oh, you're insane. Christmas is my holiday. 76 00:04:07,580 --> 00:04:09,541 She can have 9/11. 77 00:04:09,624 --> 00:04:11,376 We're the only family she has left. 78 00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:13,378 She doesn't have any kids. She's all alone. 79 00:04:13,461 --> 00:04:15,255 Yeah, well, if she wants to talk to someone, 80 00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:16,964 she can take a lap around the mall. 81 00:04:17,548 --> 00:04:18,757 The answer is no. 82 00:04:18,841 --> 00:04:19,759 Okay, whatever. 83 00:04:19,843 --> 00:04:22,178 That powder is most definitely toxic, and it's in my throat. 84 00:04:26,558 --> 00:04:27,559 Good girl. 85 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,117 Thank you. 86 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:46,494 - Can I help with that, ma'am? - Oh, that's okay. I can carry it. 87 00:04:46,578 --> 00:04:49,664 - Thank you. - Hey, I know you. 88 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:54,127 And I know you, Carter Walsh, the Comms King of Kansas. 89 00:04:54,210 --> 00:04:56,546 Hope you brought me some of that brown bread frozen custard, my friend. 90 00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:58,423 Oh, it's gonna be a fun weekend. 91 00:04:58,506 --> 00:05:00,717 - Oh, you know it. - Can't wait to see you emcee. 92 00:05:00,800 --> 00:05:02,218 Rock chalk Jayhawk! 93 00:05:03,470 --> 00:05:04,596 Hey. 94 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:09,809 But I'll never get laser hair removal, 'cause it's impossible to know 95 00:05:09,893 --> 00:05:12,479 where the culture's ultimately gonna land on hairy pits. 96 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,314 - Like, in 2011-- - Oh, my God. 97 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,816 - What? - Bob Lipka is here. 98 00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:20,111 - He must be playing in the tournament. - Who's that? 99 00:05:20,195 --> 00:05:22,655 He's the CEO of the conglomerate that owns the network. 100 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:26,034 He's the most important voice in picking the next host. 101 00:05:26,117 --> 00:05:27,077 This is perfect. 102 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:31,539 So there's a rich guy here who you want to suck up to more than the other rich guys? 103 00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:33,875 Whatever. Billionaires shouldn't exist. 104 00:05:33,957 --> 00:05:35,919 I used to have a pin on my jean jacket that said that. 105 00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:40,423 Oh, yes, extremely successful, high-achieving people must be stopped. 106 00:05:40,507 --> 00:05:43,009 Well, they have no regard for the livelihood of the working class. 107 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,763 Bob Lipka and his wife are huge philanthropists. 108 00:05:46,846 --> 00:05:48,973 They give tons of money to the Democrats. 109 00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:52,602 Whatever. Philanthropy is just a fancy word for tax evasion. 110 00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:54,354 But we'll take the money. 111 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,523 He's even better-looking in person. 112 00:05:56,606 --> 00:05:58,358 Can I get you ladies anything else? 113 00:05:58,441 --> 00:05:59,818 Oh, I would love another coffee. 114 00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:01,778 No, she wouldn't. Just the check, please. 115 00:06:01,861 --> 00:06:02,862 Sure. 116 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,366 We got two hours before your tee time. 117 00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:09,035 You never waited tables, did you? 118 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,788 I was a hostess at Joe's American Bar & Grill 119 00:06:11,871 --> 00:06:13,206 at the South Shore Plaza, 120 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:17,252 but I was fired after one shift for being too openly depressed. 121 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,212 You like to say you're a woman of the people, 122 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:21,047 but you've never actually been one. 123 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,590 If we park at this table, 124 00:06:22,674 --> 00:06:24,300 our waitress will not be able to turn it over 125 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,719 before the end of the breakfast shift. 126 00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:26,970 Well, I-- 127 00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,139 Yeah, you tried to take work away from the little people 128 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,099 who deliver my Christmas-party invitations. 129 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,933 You wouldn't let the bellman carry your bags, 130 00:06:33,018 --> 00:06:34,936 and he probably lives on his tips. 131 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,438 And now this. 132 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,897 Oh, God. 133 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,232 I think you're right. 134 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,067 Let's go. Let's go. 135 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,694 Come on, I got to clean my room. 136 00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:43,903 All right. 137 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,822 Peter! Aren't those eggs fluffy? 138 00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:47,323 Go, Padres. 139 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,668 - Hey, you ready to get out there? - I am. 140 00:06:58,752 --> 00:07:01,338 I have a request about our group. 141 00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:04,549 Way ahead of you on that one, Deb. I already asked him to put us together. 142 00:07:04,632 --> 00:07:06,301 I didn't mean you, but hi. 143 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:07,385 Hi. 144 00:07:09,471 --> 00:07:13,266 Anyway, if you could put Bob Lipka in our foursome, 145 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:14,726 I would really appreciate it. 146 00:07:14,809 --> 00:07:15,977 Absolutely, Ms. Vance. 147 00:07:16,728 --> 00:07:18,438 I'm gonna go stretch. I'll see you out there? 148 00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:19,522 Okay. 149 00:07:22,108 --> 00:07:23,360 Henry Morgan! 150 00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:25,028 It's actually Morgan Henry. 151 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,655 No, I know that. I'm just a little bit dyslexic. 152 00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:29,866 Hey, go, Tarpons. 153 00:07:29,949 --> 00:07:32,077 But we've got to get you guys a Major League team. 154 00:07:32,159 --> 00:07:34,746 Oh, well, you know, we have one, actually. It's the Rays, so... 155 00:07:34,829 --> 00:07:36,164 You could always use two. 156 00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:40,627 Right. Okay, well, have a great time. 157 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,671 Yeah. Oh, my God. 158 00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:44,881 Okay, I'm gonna head to my room to work on your speech. 159 00:07:44,964 --> 00:07:47,467 I cannot concentrate with all your jock energy. 160 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,261 - No, you're gonna be my caddy. - What? 161 00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:51,763 You're gonna come and drill me on those flash cards. 162 00:07:51,846 --> 00:07:55,141 - That can't happen again. - Okay. I'll do it. 163 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:57,811 - Really? - Yep. 164 00:07:57,894 --> 00:07:59,479 You don't want to just go back and forth, back and forth 165 00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,106 about it for a while and then finally cave? 166 00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,273 Nope, I accept. 167 00:08:02,357 --> 00:08:04,859 You're right. I haven't had a job in the service industry, 168 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,153 and this will give me some good time in a support role. 169 00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:09,948 You are gonna be shocked at how of the people I am. 170 00:08:10,031 --> 00:08:11,491 Yeah, we'll see about that. 171 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,910 - You're soft. - I am not. 172 00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,787 You put sunscreen on your hair part. 173 00:08:17,414 --> 00:08:19,916 My doctor says I have to. 174 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,335 Also, you have to buy me golf clothes. 175 00:08:56,244 --> 00:08:57,495 Sorry. 176 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:05,545 - No, no, this one, this one. - Get that sock off for you. 177 00:09:05,628 --> 00:09:07,589 Okay. You are good. 178 00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,049 Go ahead, girl. 179 00:09:10,925 --> 00:09:13,595 Theo! Gorgeous shot. 180 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,055 Love that belt, by the way. 181 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:18,516 I see what you're up to this weekend. Very shrewd. 182 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,143 Just here to beat you at golf. 183 00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,772 So how's the French whore? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 184 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,608 - I mean your lovely fiancée. - She's good. Good. 185 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,069 We got a house in France, and she spends the summer there. 186 00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,072 She's there now? 187 00:09:32,155 --> 00:09:34,908 Yeah, you know, late spring through September, 188 00:09:34,991 --> 00:09:37,160 October, November. 189 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,620 Long summers in France. 190 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,205 That's why the reception is gonna be held in-- 191 00:09:40,288 --> 00:09:42,332 Oh, look, look, look, look. That's Bob Lipka. 192 00:09:42,415 --> 00:09:44,125 Oh, do I have anything in my teeth? 193 00:09:44,209 --> 00:09:45,877 Don't look. Check my teeth. 194 00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,295 - No. Yeah. - Okay? Okay. 195 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:50,173 Deborah Vance, the one and only. 196 00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,716 - Bob Lipka. - Bob Lipka. 197 00:09:51,800 --> 00:09:53,593 Yeah, I'm a big fan. 198 00:09:53,677 --> 00:09:55,053 Thank you. Of my comedy? 199 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,680 Of your everything. 200 00:09:58,181 --> 00:09:59,599 Hey, Bob. 201 00:09:59,683 --> 00:10:01,851 Marty! How you doing? It's good to see you, man. 202 00:10:01,935 --> 00:10:03,311 - Gonna be fun today. - Yeah. 203 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,147 It feels like... 204 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,857 5 MPH over here. 205 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,443 Well, we're starting downwind today, so... 206 00:10:10,527 --> 00:10:15,156 Yeah, I think north is in that direction? 207 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:16,282 Could be wrong. 208 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,575 Hey, I'm Ava. 209 00:10:17,659 --> 00:10:19,285 I'm just filling in as caddy today, 210 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,996 so I might be leaning on you for some advice. 211 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,542 But, yeah, ready to carry some clubs. 212 00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:28,920 You don't really carry them. You put them in the back of the cart. 213 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:35,301 Seems like the cart is a caddy, and we're just doing theater, 214 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,679 but that's cool, that's cool. 215 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:39,931 Also, your vest is on backwards. 216 00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,727 I like it like that. 217 00:10:43,810 --> 00:10:45,854 Balenciaga, you know. 218 00:10:45,937 --> 00:10:47,605 It's fashion. 219 00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,024 You golfed, I assume, when you were there. 220 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,608 I did. I think we golfed two days. 221 00:10:50,692 --> 00:10:52,360 - Oh, my gosh. - The course was great. 222 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:56,114 We're here for the kids, but sure feels good to hit a good one, huh? 223 00:10:56,197 --> 00:10:57,449 What? 224 00:10:57,532 --> 00:11:00,035 - Oh, yeah, we missed it. Sorry. - Sorry. 225 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,162 - Oh, you're up. - All right. 226 00:11:08,626 --> 00:11:10,211 Nice distance on that one, Bob. 227 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,338 Thanks, Deborah. 228 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:12,756 Not as far as mine, though. 229 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:16,176 - You're up. - Oh, gosh. All right.. 230 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:18,595 Good poke. 231 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,558 You have a really buoyant form, Deborah. 232 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,811 Hey, don't be afraid to deepen that shoulder tilt. 233 00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,522 Oh, right, thank you. That's really good advice. 234 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,149 I'll try not to be too afraid. 235 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:34,778 Yeah, she's really timid. 236 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,283 Nice! 237 00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:42,410 It was terrible. 238 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,579 Bob, you got to give me some more pointers. 239 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,414 - All right. - No, that was really helpful. 240 00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:47,999 - I don't have that many. - Thank you. 241 00:11:48,083 --> 00:11:49,042 Okay. 242 00:11:52,462 --> 00:11:55,465 Okay, that was solid, but on the next one, you're gonna want to avoid the slope. 243 00:11:55,548 --> 00:11:58,885 Or maybe you want to aim for the slope so the ball rolls. 244 00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:01,388 You definitely want to do something with the slope. 245 00:12:01,471 --> 00:12:04,224 The slope is a huge part of our lives right now. 246 00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:06,059 - Flash cards. - Right, right. 247 00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,812 All right. Okay, go for it. 248 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:10,730 Oh, I know this one! 249 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,650 Flat-earther, loves boats. 250 00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:15,318 Allegations against the son. 251 00:12:16,569 --> 00:12:19,197 - Barry Plutz! - Correct! 252 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,203 Miss, that's the men's tee. 253 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:28,790 - The women's tee's further up. - Fuck that. 254 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:34,462 - Damn. - Nice. 255 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:37,924 Sorry. 256 00:12:44,514 --> 00:12:46,141 I'm in love. 257 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,185 Can I use the women's tee? 258 00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:55,775 Hi. 259 00:12:55,859 --> 00:12:57,986 Come on, come on. Let's work this room. 260 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:01,072 Hey, Mr. 3 Under Par. 261 00:13:03,158 --> 00:13:05,785 I love your politics. Cheers. 262 00:13:05,869 --> 00:13:07,203 Interesting stuff. 263 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,122 Don't tell anyone, but you're my favorite. 264 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,457 Oh, so glad! 265 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,667 Can I offer you ladies cigars? 266 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,419 - Oh, we don't really-- - We'd love to. 267 00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:16,963 Light 'em up. 268 00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:19,716 You are funnier than Seinfeld! 269 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,385 It's a birthday video for your grandniece? 270 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:24,095 Oh, sure. Give me your phone. 271 00:13:24,179 --> 00:13:26,973 I'll tell you what-- I'm rooting for you. 272 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,892 Oh, I like the sound of that. 273 00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:32,937 It's a good one. 274 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,995 And don't think I haven't heard about your ski trips. 275 00:13:49,079 --> 00:13:50,372 - What? - What? 276 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,832 Renting out an entire floor in Gstaad? 277 00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:54,918 I couldn't decide which view I wanted. 278 00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,920 Seriously. 279 00:13:58,046 --> 00:14:01,508 Also, a little birdie told me that you are on the alumni board at Dartmouth? 280 00:14:01,591 --> 00:14:03,218 - I sure am. - Wow. 281 00:14:03,301 --> 00:14:04,928 We were just there for parents' weekend. 282 00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,472 The foliage this year was stunning. 283 00:14:07,555 --> 00:14:09,641 Well, maybe you could put in a good word for my grandson. 284 00:14:09,724 --> 00:14:11,976 - Oh, I see, ulterior motives. - Well... 285 00:14:12,060 --> 00:14:14,771 How old? He's due in about 20 weeks. 286 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:17,941 Can't start too soon, right? 287 00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,944 - It's for the kids! - I'll do an interview. 288 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:23,822 For the kids! 289 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:28,618 What are you doing? 290 00:14:28,702 --> 00:14:31,621 Looking for that gorgeous golf queen from yesterday. 291 00:14:31,705 --> 00:14:33,957 She's behind us today, dummy. 292 00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,086 Good looking out, boss. 293 00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:45,760 There you go. 294 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:47,512 Not bad. 295 00:14:47,595 --> 00:14:49,180 Well, thanks to you. 296 00:14:50,223 --> 00:14:52,809 I remember you being a better player than this. 297 00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,812 I don't know what you're talking about. 298 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:57,981 Hey, caddy girl. 299 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:00,859 You gonna clean up that divot your golfer made? 300 00:15:01,985 --> 00:15:03,611 Oh, yeah. Def. 301 00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:08,742 This divot officially needs to be re-divoted. 302 00:15:08,825 --> 00:15:09,826 Here. 303 00:15:12,120 --> 00:15:13,371 Get on your knees. 304 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,258 That's it. 305 00:15:27,594 --> 00:15:29,179 All right, all right. Calm down. Calm down. 306 00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,722 All right, back to business. 307 00:15:30,805 --> 00:15:34,184 Our next auction item is a weekend of pampering 308 00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:36,519 at the Canyon Ranch spa. 309 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,605 I love that place. 310 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:41,024 As an added bonus, I lost an emerald earring 311 00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:42,942 in their saltwater plunge pool last August. 312 00:15:43,026 --> 00:15:46,071 If you can find it, this package is worth an extra 11 grand. 313 00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:49,157 Give her a show! 314 00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:51,743 Let's start the bidding off at 2,000. 315 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:53,453 Anybody? 2,000? 2,000? 316 00:15:53,536 --> 00:15:55,580 2,000, this table right here, this gentleman. 317 00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,332 Wow, your own plane. 318 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,084 I could fly you to Turks and Caicos. 319 00:15:59,167 --> 00:16:02,587 And from there, you could go wherever you needed to go. 320 00:16:02,671 --> 00:16:04,089 What an offer. 321 00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:05,715 Deborah! Hi. 322 00:16:05,799 --> 00:16:06,758 Hi. 323 00:16:06,841 --> 00:16:08,551 Glenn! How you doing? 324 00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:09,803 Good to see you. 325 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:11,763 Have you seen Bob? He hasn't bid on anything. 326 00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:13,390 I'm afraid I offended him when I did that bit 327 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,350 eviscerating the Michelin star system. 328 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,060 I knew that was too edgy for this crowd. 329 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:19,479 I saw him sneak out after you auctioned off the safari. 330 00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,189 Was that a low-key rhino hunt? 331 00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,400 Huh? No. Yeah, maybe. 332 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:24,693 Don't go! 333 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,987 You have gorgeous hips. 334 00:16:40,709 --> 00:16:42,460 Okay, the '96 Dom Perignon. 335 00:16:42,544 --> 00:16:43,503 - Great. - Great. 336 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,505 - Yeah? Are we celebrating? - Yeah. 337 00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:01,563 Deborah. 338 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:03,481 Come here often? 339 00:17:03,565 --> 00:17:05,233 Wow, two stand-up comedians 340 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:08,028 running into each other at a golf club in Nevada. 341 00:17:08,111 --> 00:17:09,738 You must be like, what? 342 00:17:10,739 --> 00:17:13,157 - I flew up briefly for a-- - Meeting? 343 00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,617 Looked like it went well. 344 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,538 It did. Yeah. 345 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,205 I didn't realize you saw. 346 00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:23,792 You know what? I'm glad I ran into you, because I just-- 347 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:26,171 I want to say I hope there's no hard feelings. 348 00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:29,507 And it would mean a lot if you were one of my first guests. 349 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,761 You're welcome anytime. 350 00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:41,353 All right, well, I'll leave you to it. 351 00:17:51,488 --> 00:17:52,614 Black on black. 352 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,366 Billie Jean King. 353 00:17:54,449 --> 00:17:55,992 It's not not working. 354 00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:58,787 I'm not getting late night. 355 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:01,414 What? What happened? 356 00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:03,917 I saw Bob Lipka meeting with Jack Danby. 357 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,711 - He got the job. - Well, that's bullshit. 358 00:18:06,795 --> 00:18:09,089 All right, so what's our game plan? 359 00:18:09,172 --> 00:18:10,382 Nothing. 360 00:18:10,465 --> 00:18:13,176 I'll pay you for your whole hiatus. You can go back to LA whenever you want. 361 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:15,220 No, we're not gonna give up. 362 00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:16,596 It's happening. 363 00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:19,766 And of course it is. 364 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,602 It was stupid of me to even think I had a chance. 365 00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:34,197 - Deborah-- - I don't want to talk about it. 366 00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,202 You might want to loosen that grip a bit. 367 00:19:27,375 --> 00:19:28,710 There she is. 368 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,856 I'll have a Corona, please. 369 00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,776 Hey, Deborah, can I buy you a cocktail? 370 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,903 I'll have a Gatorade Zero. 371 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:56,112 Yellow. 372 00:19:57,739 --> 00:19:58,907 Thank you. 373 00:20:01,910 --> 00:20:03,286 Thanks. Keep the change. 374 00:20:10,460 --> 00:20:13,630 I'll tell you what-- you are looking real confident 375 00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:14,964 with that 9-iron. 376 00:20:15,048 --> 00:20:16,049 You know? 377 00:20:16,132 --> 00:20:18,843 You are just getting it done. 378 00:20:18,927 --> 00:20:22,681 Hey, Deborah. Deborah. I'm not in yet. Deborah. 379 00:20:33,775 --> 00:20:35,235 Nice shot! 380 00:20:36,444 --> 00:20:37,946 Would you get my ball? 381 00:20:46,246 --> 00:20:49,249 You want to go to the restaurant, get something to eat? 382 00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:50,875 I think I just want to be alone. 383 00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:04,389 - Hey. - Hey. 384 00:21:04,472 --> 00:21:06,891 - Mind if I sit? - Sure. 385 00:21:06,975 --> 00:21:07,976 Thanks. 386 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:11,688 You're a white-wine girl, huh? 387 00:21:11,771 --> 00:21:15,775 Not usually, but I wanted to try this. 388 00:21:16,693 --> 00:21:19,904 - It's Cameron Diaz's company. - Oh, good for her. 389 00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:21,698 Is it good? 390 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,366 That's what I've been wondering. 391 00:21:24,701 --> 00:21:26,286 What do you mean? 392 00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:30,290 Like, isn't it bad that the goal for actors now 393 00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:34,502 is to, like, be good at art so you can sell CBD lip balm 394 00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:35,754 or whatever? 395 00:21:35,837 --> 00:21:37,922 But then again, actresses have historically had 396 00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:41,509 their image monetized without any control over how that image was used. 397 00:21:41,593 --> 00:21:44,804 So maybe if this gives them more power and agency, 398 00:21:44,888 --> 00:21:46,681 - it's a good thing. - Great. 399 00:21:46,765 --> 00:21:49,434 But then again, doesn't capitalism 400 00:21:49,517 --> 00:21:52,312 only ultimately benefit evil rich white men, 401 00:21:52,395 --> 00:21:54,689 regardless of who heads any one company? 402 00:21:54,773 --> 00:21:56,149 - So maybe it's bad. - Well-- 403 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:58,234 But, also, who am I to judge? 404 00:21:58,318 --> 00:22:00,403 I work for a giant media conglomerate. 405 00:22:01,488 --> 00:22:04,032 I'm just gonna go live in the woods. 406 00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:05,575 On stolen land? 407 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:09,788 Oh, God. 408 00:22:09,871 --> 00:22:12,832 - You talk about this stuff a lot? - It comes up. 409 00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:17,128 And she keeps you around. She must really like you. 410 00:22:18,713 --> 00:22:20,006 Yeah. 411 00:22:23,843 --> 00:22:26,429 She found out she didn't get the hosting gig. 412 00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:27,847 She's really upset. 413 00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:30,433 That's what today was about. 414 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:34,729 Well, it's disappointing, but she'll be all right. 415 00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:36,064 I hope so. 416 00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:37,816 I've known her a long time. 417 00:22:37,899 --> 00:22:41,611 And over these past couple years, she's really changed. 418 00:22:41,695 --> 00:22:44,280 And I'm pretty sure that's right about the time you showed up, kid. 419 00:22:46,241 --> 00:22:47,409 Thank you for saying that. 420 00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:51,663 Even though calling me "kid" is incredibly infantilizing, 421 00:22:51,746 --> 00:22:52,914 it's also charming. 422 00:23:00,338 --> 00:23:01,464 Merde. 423 00:23:02,298 --> 00:23:05,051 I got to FaceTime with a French wedding florist. 424 00:23:06,803 --> 00:23:08,096 Au revoir. 425 00:23:15,603 --> 00:23:18,815 I don't think caddies are allowed to drink up here. 426 00:23:20,900 --> 00:23:21,901 Sorry. 427 00:23:21,985 --> 00:23:24,696 - I guess I'll leave. - I think you should. 428 00:23:27,699 --> 00:23:29,617 And I think you should come to my room. 429 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:08,990 Good evening. 430 00:24:11,034 --> 00:24:12,452 I thought I better get in some practice swings 431 00:24:12,535 --> 00:24:14,371 after you destroyed me on the course today. 432 00:24:16,247 --> 00:24:18,166 I had no idea you were so good. 433 00:24:19,334 --> 00:24:21,044 Nobody does. 434 00:24:23,797 --> 00:24:25,465 Where's your security? 435 00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:28,009 Oh, I put a mop and some pillows under my blanket. 436 00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:32,889 I was kidding. 437 00:24:32,972 --> 00:24:34,516 I gave him the night off. 438 00:24:55,787 --> 00:24:57,205 Oh, yeah, you stink. 439 00:25:01,001 --> 00:25:02,335 What was that? 440 00:25:02,419 --> 00:25:04,796 I said you fucking stink. 441 00:25:05,922 --> 00:25:08,800 Did you not shower after you carried those clubs all day? 442 00:25:13,805 --> 00:25:15,140 I did. 443 00:25:15,223 --> 00:25:16,808 I washed my hair, even. 444 00:25:16,891 --> 00:25:18,560 No. 445 00:25:18,643 --> 00:25:21,229 I think you need a shower, caddy girl. 446 00:25:25,775 --> 00:25:26,818 Hold on. Sorry. 447 00:25:28,236 --> 00:25:30,363 I just want to be clear about one thing. 448 00:25:31,031 --> 00:25:33,116 I'm not actually a caddy. 449 00:25:33,199 --> 00:25:35,618 What? You were caddying. 450 00:25:36,828 --> 00:25:38,371 Oh, my God. Yeah. 451 00:25:38,455 --> 00:25:41,499 No, I was just filling in for the weekend. 452 00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:45,337 I actually work full-time as a co-producer on a topical comedy variety show, 453 00:25:45,420 --> 00:25:46,963 which has been such a cool experience-- 454 00:25:47,047 --> 00:25:49,883 to use my comedy skills to engage with real issues. 455 00:25:49,966 --> 00:25:51,051 What? 456 00:25:51,134 --> 00:25:52,260 All right. 457 00:25:53,011 --> 00:25:55,764 Hold on. Is that a deal-breaker for you? 458 00:25:55,847 --> 00:25:58,475 Yeah. This entire situation is fucked now. 459 00:25:58,558 --> 00:26:00,435 Well, wait. 460 00:26:00,518 --> 00:26:02,896 Were you only into me 'cause I was a caddy? 461 00:26:02,979 --> 00:26:03,897 Yes. 462 00:26:05,065 --> 00:26:09,402 Okay, is this, like, some weird power thing where you only wanted to fuck me 463 00:26:09,486 --> 00:26:11,654 because I'm your working-class subordinate? 464 00:26:11,738 --> 00:26:13,615 - Kind of problematic. - Oh, God. 465 00:26:13,698 --> 00:26:15,950 Everything is so problematic these days. 466 00:26:16,034 --> 00:26:18,411 What, are you gonna lecture me on inclusivity, 467 00:26:18,495 --> 00:26:20,413 tell me how I can't fund fracking? 468 00:26:21,873 --> 00:26:22,999 Fracking? 469 00:26:23,083 --> 00:26:24,501 Are you a Republican? 470 00:26:24,584 --> 00:26:25,919 Obviously. 471 00:26:26,002 --> 00:26:28,588 Oh, my God, that was not on your flash card. 472 00:26:28,672 --> 00:26:31,216 It just said you were a mother to two German shepherds! 473 00:26:31,299 --> 00:26:32,592 What? 474 00:26:32,676 --> 00:26:35,720 You're a gay Republican? How does that make sense? 475 00:26:35,804 --> 00:26:38,056 You're a co-producer pretending to be a caddy. 476 00:26:38,139 --> 00:26:40,517 - How does that make sense? - I don't know! It doesn't. 477 00:26:40,600 --> 00:26:42,102 I was just trying to be a good person, 478 00:26:42,185 --> 00:26:44,270 and ethical consumption is fucking impossible! 479 00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:45,522 Where is my shirt? 480 00:26:46,147 --> 00:26:48,817 I was really looking forward to pissing on a caddy. 481 00:26:49,442 --> 00:26:51,611 You were not gonna piss on me! 482 00:26:51,695 --> 00:26:53,613 - Yeah, I was. - No, you weren't. 483 00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:56,449 Yes, I was. I was going to piss all over you. 484 00:26:56,533 --> 00:26:58,243 You weren't gonna piss on me, no. 485 00:26:58,326 --> 00:27:00,161 Oh, wow, a liberal kink-shamer. 486 00:27:00,245 --> 00:27:02,247 I thought you people were supposed to be sex-positive. 487 00:27:02,330 --> 00:27:05,500 Oh, my God. I would happily let a socialist pee on me! 488 00:27:05,583 --> 00:27:07,669 Buh-bye, lady. 489 00:27:07,752 --> 00:27:09,337 Your loss! 490 00:27:17,429 --> 00:27:20,432 You know, people are probably afraid to tell you this, 491 00:27:20,515 --> 00:27:22,726 but your swing sucks. 492 00:27:23,685 --> 00:27:25,645 - Really? - Yeah, what do they call you? 493 00:27:25,729 --> 00:27:27,856 Oh, yeah, Slice and Dice Lipka. 494 00:27:28,565 --> 00:27:29,733 Now, that's just mean. 495 00:27:31,776 --> 00:27:35,238 - Okay, don't hold back. - Well, I don't know where to start. 496 00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,699 I mean, the way you address the ball, 497 00:27:37,782 --> 00:27:40,076 you got to keep your left foot lined up with the club. 498 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:41,870 - Which I do. - Turn your club face a little bit. 499 00:27:41,953 --> 00:27:43,496 - Turn your club face a little bit. - Okay. 500 00:27:43,580 --> 00:27:45,498 And keep your left arm straighter. 501 00:27:45,582 --> 00:27:46,583 All right. 502 00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:48,626 Like this? 503 00:27:48,710 --> 00:27:50,170 Yeah. 504 00:27:50,253 --> 00:27:51,379 All right. 505 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,010 That was pathetic. 506 00:27:57,093 --> 00:27:58,303 Pathetic? 507 00:27:59,387 --> 00:28:01,181 Well, why don't you come over here and show me? 508 00:28:02,098 --> 00:28:04,642 Jesus Christ, I got to do everything myself. 509 00:28:04,726 --> 00:28:07,645 Okay, remember, you're not playing fucking baseball! 510 00:28:28,416 --> 00:28:29,709 - Feel that? - Yeah, I feel that. 511 00:28:29,793 --> 00:28:31,044 All the power comes from your hips. 512 00:28:31,127 --> 00:28:35,924 And then your chest, your chest ends up like that, right? 513 00:28:36,007 --> 00:28:38,468 You follow with your chest, like that. 514 00:28:38,551 --> 00:28:39,803 How about here? 515 00:28:42,055 --> 00:28:43,431 That works. 516 00:28:43,515 --> 00:28:44,641 Yeah. 517 00:28:45,850 --> 00:28:47,227 I think so, too. 518 00:28:59,989 --> 00:29:03,952 I think you already know this, but we made a decision about the show. 519 00:29:04,661 --> 00:29:05,537 I know. 520 00:29:36,651 --> 00:29:38,528 You dirty diva. 521 00:29:42,949 --> 00:29:44,284 Get it, Derba. 522 00:29:50,206 --> 00:29:53,001 Excusez-moi, Miss Thang! 523 00:29:53,084 --> 00:29:55,128 I saw you doing the walk of shame this morning. 524 00:29:55,211 --> 00:29:56,755 High five. 525 00:29:56,838 --> 00:29:58,298 I don't want to talk about it. 526 00:29:58,381 --> 00:30:00,300 Oh, come on. What happened? 527 00:30:00,383 --> 00:30:01,843 Who happened? Marty? 528 00:30:03,053 --> 00:30:05,472 Oh, no, Deborah, not Bill Blort from Cincinnati. 529 00:30:05,555 --> 00:30:07,057 No. 530 00:30:07,140 --> 00:30:08,266 Bob Lipka. 531 00:30:09,184 --> 00:30:11,353 Oh, shit. Nice. 532 00:30:11,436 --> 00:30:13,646 No, not nice. Mistake. 533 00:30:13,730 --> 00:30:15,523 Pack your things. We're leaving early. 534 00:30:15,607 --> 00:30:18,318 - I'm not gonna finish the tournament. - Wait, why are you so upset? 535 00:30:18,401 --> 00:30:21,279 Oh, God! I don't know what came over me. 536 00:30:21,363 --> 00:30:24,032 I was so mad, I just-- 537 00:30:24,115 --> 00:30:26,451 The meaner I was to him, the more into me he was! 538 00:30:26,534 --> 00:30:28,453 I just got swept up. 539 00:30:28,536 --> 00:30:31,539 Makes sense. Half the dudes here are probably pain pigs. 540 00:30:32,624 --> 00:30:34,709 I don't sleep with married men. 541 00:30:35,502 --> 00:30:38,672 - Haven't you and Marty-- - No, never when he's been married. 542 00:30:39,756 --> 00:30:43,051 I don't get it. You're not exactly a rule follower. 543 00:30:43,134 --> 00:30:44,636 You care about monogamy? 544 00:30:44,719 --> 00:30:45,887 I follow rules. 545 00:30:45,970 --> 00:30:47,847 You've literally committed voter fraud. 546 00:30:47,931 --> 00:30:49,724 You vote in Nevada and Florida. 547 00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:52,310 I got confused once, and I regret ever telling you. 548 00:30:53,478 --> 00:30:56,439 - Oh, I feel sick. - You have to be kinder to yourself. 549 00:30:56,523 --> 00:30:59,734 Also, you've had a really tough weekend. It's okay. 550 00:30:59,818 --> 00:31:01,778 I swore when this happened to me... 551 00:31:02,987 --> 00:31:04,572 ...I would never be the other woman. 552 00:31:05,615 --> 00:31:08,076 Okay, well, fucking a married man once 553 00:31:08,159 --> 00:31:11,037 is not the same as marrying your sister's husband. 554 00:31:11,121 --> 00:31:13,623 - It's just not who I am. - I get it. 555 00:31:13,707 --> 00:31:15,875 It's important to have values. 556 00:31:15,959 --> 00:31:17,794 But sometimes you make a mistake, 557 00:31:17,877 --> 00:31:20,964 end up in bed with an oil heiress who wants to pee on ya. 558 00:31:26,845 --> 00:31:28,430 My point is... 559 00:31:28,513 --> 00:31:31,182 trying to be a good person is hell. 560 00:31:31,266 --> 00:31:33,018 But at least you're trying. 561 00:31:33,101 --> 00:31:34,728 And I don't know, maybe it'll help you get, like, 562 00:31:34,811 --> 00:31:36,730 1% over what happened with Kathy. 563 00:31:44,988 --> 00:31:47,615 You want me to sit on your suitcase so you can zip it? 564 00:31:47,699 --> 00:31:49,200 Yes, please. 565 00:31:49,909 --> 00:31:50,994 Okay. 566 00:31:51,870 --> 00:31:55,290 Also, what happened to your hair, girl? You guys go swimming? 567 00:31:55,373 --> 00:31:56,833 I don't know. 568 00:31:56,916 --> 00:31:58,835 I think I made him sit in the shower. 569 00:32:00,170 --> 00:32:01,629 Freak nasty. 570 00:32:09,846 --> 00:32:11,848 - Thank you. - No problem. 571 00:32:16,853 --> 00:32:19,647 - Kathy Vance? - Yes? 572 00:32:19,731 --> 00:32:21,149 You are cordially invited 573 00:32:21,232 --> 00:32:25,487 to attend Deborah Vance's Vegas Christmas Spectacular. 574 00:32:26,321 --> 00:32:29,282 My sister, Deborah Vance? Is this a prank? 575 00:32:30,533 --> 00:32:33,286 I don't know. I'm just the messenger. 576 00:32:34,537 --> 00:32:37,415 - Thank you. - Merry Christmas. 577 00:32:37,499 --> 00:32:38,875 Merry Christmas. 578 00:32:39,668 --> 00:32:41,628 Nobody tips anymore.