1 00:00:02,919 --> 00:00:04,587 [indistinct chatter] 2 00:00:04,629 --> 00:00:07,841 [Peggy Lee's "Show Me The Way To Get Out Of This World"] 3 00:00:07,924 --> 00:00:10,802 ♪ ♪ 4 00:00:10,844 --> 00:00:14,097 [indistinct chatter] 5 00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:17,142 ♪ ♪ 6 00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:20,311 - ♪ Show me the way to get out of this world ♪ 7 00:00:20,353 --> 00:00:23,106 ♪ 'Cause that's where everything is ♪ 8 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:26,776 ♪ If everything is goin', I don't want to stay here ♪ 9 00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,695 ♪ Who wants to stick around and watch ♪ 10 00:00:28,778 --> 00:00:32,365 - OK, 2, 11, 24, you can go home, thanks. 11 00:00:32,448 --> 00:00:34,367 All right, everybody else, again, from the top. 12 00:00:34,451 --> 00:00:36,327 - No! 13 00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:38,163 What is going on? 14 00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,456 - Auditions. 15 00:00:39,497 --> 00:00:42,167 Every year, I hire performers to dress as Christmas elves, 16 00:00:42,208 --> 00:00:44,794 and they hand-deliver my holiday-party invitations. 17 00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,671 How cute is that? - You can't do that anymore. 18 00:00:46,755 --> 00:00:48,840 - [sighs] - It's really offensive. 19 00:00:48,923 --> 00:00:51,134 - These are working actors. 20 00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:54,137 This is a legitimate gig. I pay double the SAG rate. 21 00:00:54,179 --> 00:00:55,180 - It's still wrong. 22 00:00:55,221 --> 00:00:58,641 - Why? - Because--because-- 23 00:00:58,683 --> 00:01:01,519 I-I don't know. I just woke up. 24 00:01:01,561 --> 00:01:03,355 Can I have some time to think about it? 25 00:01:03,396 --> 00:01:05,482 - Sure. You take your breakfast to figure it out. 26 00:01:05,522 --> 00:01:08,401 And if you can't, I never want to hear about it ever again. 27 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,070 OK, everybody, from the top! 28 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:13,365 ♪ ♪ 29 00:01:13,448 --> 00:01:16,368 5, 6, 5, 6, 7, 8! 30 00:01:16,408 --> 00:01:19,371 - ♪ Show me the way to get out of this world ♪ 31 00:01:19,412 --> 00:01:21,206 ♪ 'Cause that's where everything is ♪ 32 00:01:21,247 --> 00:01:23,875 - Get those shoulders down. All right. 33 00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:26,628 Snap! Think Fosse, snap! 34 00:01:26,711 --> 00:01:29,381 [upbeat funky music] 35 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:32,842 ♪ ♪ 36 00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:35,512 - Let's go, Deborah. You got it. 37 00:01:35,553 --> 00:01:36,680 Oh! 38 00:01:36,721 --> 00:01:38,306 She's out of there. 39 00:01:38,390 --> 00:01:39,473 - OK, we've got Walt McCarthy, 40 00:01:39,557 --> 00:01:41,559 owns 15 affiliate stations in Missouri. 41 00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,354 Conversation topics include toasted ravioli, 42 00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:47,148 doomsday prepping, and Cardinals baseball. 43 00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:49,025 - McCarthy, Missouri. McCarthy, Missouri. 44 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,110 OK, got it. 45 00:01:52,112 --> 00:01:55,365 - Next up, we have Cort Moreau, affiliates in Wisconsin 46 00:01:55,407 --> 00:01:56,700 and southern Illinois. 47 00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:58,993 Six kids, three cats. 48 00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,954 - Smelly house. 49 00:02:01,037 --> 00:02:03,623 Oh. Ow. 50 00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:06,793 - Are you sure you should be golfing with your ankle? 51 00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:08,419 Can't you just emcee? 52 00:02:08,461 --> 00:02:10,130 - The whole reason I took this emcee gig 53 00:02:10,213 --> 00:02:11,965 was to have as much face time as possible 54 00:02:12,048 --> 00:02:13,842 with all the affiliate owners who are playing the tournament. 55 00:02:13,925 --> 00:02:15,093 They have a huge impact 56 00:02:15,135 --> 00:02:17,053 on who the network picks as the next host. 57 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:18,763 I have to charm them 58 00:02:18,805 --> 00:02:21,599 with personalized small talk and golf humor. 59 00:02:21,683 --> 00:02:24,769 By the way, I need ten tasteful hole jokes. 60 00:02:24,811 --> 00:02:26,938 Card me. - Marty Ghilain. 61 00:02:27,022 --> 00:02:28,273 - From the Palmetto? 62 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,191 - He owns an affiliate in Carson City. 63 00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,317 His third wife wanted to be a weather girl. 64 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,487 She was actually pretty good. 65 00:02:34,571 --> 00:02:37,699 Don't judge a book by her giant fake tits. 66 00:02:37,741 --> 00:02:40,410 [whistles] Bellissima. 67 00:02:40,452 --> 00:02:42,495 [rock music] 68 00:02:42,579 --> 00:02:45,123 - ♪ It takes sunshine and rain ♪ 69 00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:47,375 ♪ ♪ 70 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:50,211 - Gender-reveal parties are literally disgusting. 71 00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:53,631 - I'm surprised DJ invited you. - I asked if I could come. 72 00:02:53,715 --> 00:02:56,216 - Ladies and gentlemen! 73 00:02:56,301 --> 00:02:57,635 [cheers and applause] 74 00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,804 Fighting out of Las Vegas, Nevada, 75 00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:01,181 please welcome 76 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:05,894 DJ "The Love of My Life" Vance! 77 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,897 [cheers and applause] - Yeah! 78 00:03:08,980 --> 00:03:10,398 - Ow! 79 00:03:10,482 --> 00:03:11,399 [loud pop] 80 00:03:11,483 --> 00:03:14,235 - Oh! - Oh, yeah! 81 00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:15,779 - It's a boy! 82 00:03:15,820 --> 00:03:17,781 - [coughing] Boy! 83 00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:20,158 - Oh, Aidan, congratulations. 84 00:03:20,241 --> 00:03:22,327 - Mom, can you please say hi to my family real fast? 85 00:03:22,369 --> 00:03:23,745 - Yeah, sure. - They're watching virtually. 86 00:03:23,828 --> 00:03:25,997 - Oh, of course. Yes, of course. 87 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,499 Absolutely. 88 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:30,585 Hi, Linda McClellan. - [whispering] That's my aunt. 89 00:03:30,669 --> 00:03:33,046 - Aunt Linda. Hi, how are you? 90 00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:36,091 And Kathy V. Who's Kathy V.? 91 00:03:36,174 --> 00:03:38,677 - Uh, that's-- that's Aunt Kathy. 92 00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,178 - Ah. 93 00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:41,179 - Ah. Mom! 94 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,514 - What? 95 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,057 - Look, I get that this is super awkward 96 00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,558 and she's the devil or whatever, 97 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:47,519 but I still have a relationship with Aunt Kathy. 98 00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:50,438 And I want her to have a relationship with my son. 99 00:03:51,856 --> 00:03:53,441 It's a boy. 100 00:03:53,525 --> 00:03:55,317 Oh, God, all of his friends are gonna think I'm hot, 101 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:57,028 and that might be weird for him. 102 00:03:57,070 --> 00:03:58,279 Whatever. We'll work through it. 103 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,490 - What do you want me to say? 104 00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,033 - I didn't really want to bring it up here, 105 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,703 but I would like to invite her for Christmas. 106 00:04:04,744 --> 00:04:07,497 - Oh, you're insane. Christmas is my holiday. 107 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:09,541 She can have 9/11. 108 00:04:09,582 --> 00:04:11,376 - We're the only family she has left. 109 00:04:11,418 --> 00:04:13,378 She doesn't have any kids. She's all alone. 110 00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,338 - Yeah, well, if she wants to talk to someone, 111 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:16,673 she can take a lap around the mall. 112 00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:18,716 - [sighs] - The answer is no. 113 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:19,718 - OK, whatever. 114 00:04:19,801 --> 00:04:21,219 That powder is most definitely toxic, 115 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:22,637 and it's in my throat. 116 00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:25,807 [coughing, spitting] 117 00:04:25,890 --> 00:04:27,517 - Oh. Good girl. 118 00:04:27,559 --> 00:04:29,060 - [coughing] Ugh. 119 00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,063 [upbeat music] 120 00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:37,527 ♪ ♪ 121 00:04:37,569 --> 00:04:40,530 [indistinct chatter] 122 00:04:40,572 --> 00:04:42,615 ♪ ♪ 123 00:04:42,699 --> 00:04:44,909 - Thank you. - Can I help with that, ma'am? 124 00:04:44,951 --> 00:04:47,203 - Oh, that's OK. I can carry it. Thank you. 125 00:04:47,245 --> 00:04:49,664 - Hey, I know you. 126 00:04:49,748 --> 00:04:53,168 - And I know you, Carter Walsh, the Comms King of Kansas. 127 00:04:53,251 --> 00:04:54,711 [chuckles] Hope you brought me 128 00:04:54,753 --> 00:04:56,546 some of that brown bread frozen custard, my friend. 129 00:04:56,588 --> 00:04:58,423 - Oh, it's gonna be a fun weekend. 130 00:04:58,465 --> 00:05:00,383 - Oh, you know it. - Can't wait to see you emcee. 131 00:05:00,425 --> 00:05:03,386 - Ooh, rock chalk Jayhawk! - [laughs loudly] 132 00:05:03,428 --> 00:05:04,471 - Hey. 133 00:05:04,554 --> 00:05:06,973 [dramatic musical flourish] 134 00:05:07,057 --> 00:05:08,433 - But I'll never get laser hair removal, 135 00:05:08,475 --> 00:05:09,726 'cause it's impossible to know 136 00:05:09,768 --> 00:05:12,479 where the culture's ultimately gonna land on hairy pits. 137 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,314 Like, in 2011-- - Oh, my God. 138 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:15,315 - What? 139 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:17,442 - Bob Lipka is here. [gasps] 140 00:05:17,484 --> 00:05:18,985 He must be playing in the tournament. 141 00:05:19,069 --> 00:05:20,111 - Who's that? 142 00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,446 - He's the CEO of the conglomerate 143 00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:22,614 that owns the network. 144 00:05:22,697 --> 00:05:25,283 He's the most important voice in picking the next host. 145 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,077 [gasps] This is perfect. 146 00:05:27,118 --> 00:05:28,703 - So there's a rich guy here 147 00:05:28,787 --> 00:05:30,705 who you want to suck up to more than the other rich guys? 148 00:05:30,789 --> 00:05:32,207 - Mm-hmm. - Whatever. 149 00:05:32,290 --> 00:05:33,875 Billionaires shouldn't exist. 150 00:05:33,957 --> 00:05:35,919 I used to have a pin on my jean jacket that said that. 151 00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,129 - Oh, yes, extremely successful, 152 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:40,423 high-achieving people must be stopped. 153 00:05:40,465 --> 00:05:41,883 - Well, they have no regard for the livelihood 154 00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,510 of the working class. 155 00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,763 - Bob Lipka and his wife are huge philanthropists. 156 00:05:46,805 --> 00:05:48,473 They give tons of money to the Democrats. 157 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:49,599 - Whatever. 158 00:05:49,641 --> 00:05:52,602 Philanthropy is just a fancy word for tax evasion. 159 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,896 But we'll take the money. - Mm. 160 00:05:54,979 --> 00:05:56,481 He's even better-looking in person. 161 00:05:56,564 --> 00:05:58,316 - Can I get you ladies anything else? 162 00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,818 - Oh, I would love another coffee. 163 00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:01,778 - No, she wouldn't. Just the check, please. 164 00:06:01,820 --> 00:06:04,155 - Sure. 165 00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:06,908 - We got two hours before your tee time. 166 00:06:06,991 --> 00:06:09,035 - You never waited tables, did you? 167 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:11,788 - I was a hostess at Joe's American Bar & Grill 168 00:06:11,830 --> 00:06:13,206 at the South Shore Plaza, 169 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:17,252 but I was fired after one shift for being too openly depressed. 170 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,212 - You like to say you're a woman of the people, 171 00:06:19,295 --> 00:06:20,964 but you've never actually been one. 172 00:06:21,006 --> 00:06:23,091 If we park at this table, our waitress 173 00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:24,926 will not be able to turn it over before the end 174 00:06:25,010 --> 00:06:26,970 of the breakfast shift. - Well, I-- 175 00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,139 - Yeah, you tried to take work away from the little people 176 00:06:29,180 --> 00:06:31,099 who deliver my Christmas-party invitations. 177 00:06:31,182 --> 00:06:32,851 You wouldn't let the bellman carry your bags, 178 00:06:32,933 --> 00:06:34,936 and he probably lives on his tips. 179 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:36,438 And now this. 180 00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:37,897 - Oh, God. 181 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,232 I think you're right. 182 00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,067 Let's go. Let's go. 183 00:06:41,151 --> 00:06:42,694 Come on, I got to clean my room. 184 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:43,903 - [sighs] All right. 185 00:06:43,987 --> 00:06:45,655 Peter! Aren't those eggs fluffy? 186 00:06:45,697 --> 00:06:46,948 Go, Padres. 187 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:48,575 [funky music] 188 00:06:48,658 --> 00:06:50,577 - ♪ If you ain't getting your thing ♪ 189 00:06:50,659 --> 00:06:52,662 ♪ Like you ought to be getting your thing ♪ 190 00:06:52,704 --> 00:06:56,332 ♪ Somebody else be getting your thing for you ♪ 191 00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:57,792 - Hey, you ready to get out there? 192 00:06:57,876 --> 00:06:58,960 - I am. 193 00:06:59,044 --> 00:07:01,338 I have a request about our group. 194 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,964 - Way ahead of you on that one, Deb. 195 00:07:03,048 --> 00:07:04,549 I already asked him to put us together. 196 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,301 - Oh, I didn't mean you, but hi. 197 00:07:06,384 --> 00:07:08,386 - Hi. [smooches] 198 00:07:08,428 --> 00:07:09,387 Oh. 199 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,098 - Anyway, if you could put Bob Lipka 200 00:07:12,182 --> 00:07:14,726 in our foursome, I would really appreciate it. 201 00:07:14,768 --> 00:07:15,977 - Absolutely, Ms. Vance. 202 00:07:16,019 --> 00:07:17,645 - Uh, I'm gonna go stretch. 203 00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:20,607 I'll see you out there? - OK. 204 00:07:20,690 --> 00:07:23,360 [gasps] Henry Morgan! 205 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:25,028 - It's actually Morgan Henry. 206 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:27,572 - No, uh, I know that. I'm just a little bit dyslexic. 207 00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,741 [laughs] Hey, go, Tarpons. 208 00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:32,077 But we've got to get you guys a Major League team. 209 00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,578 - Oh, well, you know, we have one, actually. 210 00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:34,746 It's the Rays, so... 211 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:37,582 - You could always use two. [laughs] 212 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:40,627 - All right. OK, well, have a great time. 213 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,545 - Yeah. Oh, my God. 214 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,881 - OK, I'm gonna head to my room to work on your speech. 215 00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:47,467 I cannot concentrate with all your jock energy. 216 00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:50,261 - No, you're gonna be my caddy. - What? 217 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,763 - You're gonna come and drill me on those flashcards. 218 00:07:51,805 --> 00:07:56,017 That can't happen again. - OK. I'll do it. 219 00:07:56,101 --> 00:07:57,769 - Really? - Yep. 220 00:07:57,852 --> 00:07:59,437 - You don't want to just go back and forth, back and forth 221 00:07:59,521 --> 00:08:01,106 about it for a while and then finally cave? 222 00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,941 - Nope, I accept. You're right. 223 00:08:03,024 --> 00:08:04,859 I haven't had a job in the service industry, 224 00:08:04,943 --> 00:08:07,112 and this will give me some good time in a support role. 225 00:08:07,195 --> 00:08:09,948 You are gonna be shocked at how of the people I am. 226 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,324 - Yeah, we'll see about that. 227 00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,910 You're soft. - I am not. 228 00:08:13,952 --> 00:08:15,954 - You put sunscreen on your hair part. 229 00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,916 - My doctor says I have to. 230 00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:22,293 Also, you have to buy me golf clothes. 231 00:08:22,335 --> 00:08:26,339 [Chuck Conlon & The Crawlers' "I Won't Tell"] 232 00:08:26,423 --> 00:08:31,469 - ♪ A teaspoon holds more than a fork does ♪ 233 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:33,722 ♪ ♪ 234 00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:38,643 ♪ A long snail eats more than a short one ♪ 235 00:08:38,727 --> 00:08:40,979 ♪ ♪ 236 00:08:41,062 --> 00:08:43,481 ♪ Let the people find out ♪ 237 00:08:43,565 --> 00:08:48,737 ♪ For themselves ♪ 238 00:08:48,820 --> 00:08:52,282 ♪ I won't tell them about it ♪ 239 00:08:52,323 --> 00:08:55,160 ♪ ♪ 240 00:08:55,243 --> 00:08:57,537 - Ooh. Sorry. 241 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:03,918 - No, no, t-this one, this one. Don't--just get-- 242 00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,420 - Get that sock off for you. 243 00:09:05,503 --> 00:09:07,589 OK. You are good. 244 00:09:07,672 --> 00:09:09,090 Go ahead, girl. 245 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,885 - Ooh, Theo! 246 00:09:11,968 --> 00:09:13,595 Gorgeous shot. 247 00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,055 Love that belt, by the way. 248 00:09:15,138 --> 00:09:17,223 - I see what you're up to this weekend. 249 00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,516 Very shrewd. 250 00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:20,185 - Just here to beat you at golf. 251 00:09:21,186 --> 00:09:23,772 So how's the French whore? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 252 00:09:23,855 --> 00:09:26,608 I mean your lovely fiancée. - She's good. Good. 253 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,110 We got a house in France, and she spends the summer there. 254 00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:32,030 - She's there now? 255 00:09:32,113 --> 00:09:34,866 - Yeah, you know, late spring through September, 256 00:09:34,949 --> 00:09:37,160 October, November. 257 00:09:37,202 --> 00:09:38,620 Long summers in France. 258 00:09:38,703 --> 00:09:40,205 That's why the reception is gonna be held in-- 259 00:09:40,246 --> 00:09:42,332 - Oh, look, look, look, look. That's Bob Lipka. 260 00:09:42,374 --> 00:09:44,125 Oh, do I have anything in my teeth? 261 00:09:44,167 --> 00:09:45,877 Don't look. Check my teeth. 262 00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,295 - No. Yeah. - OK? OK. 263 00:09:47,379 --> 00:09:50,173 - Deborah Vance, the one and only. 264 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,716 Bob Lipka. - Bob Lipka. 265 00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:53,051 - Yeah, I'm a big fan. - Oh. 266 00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,053 Thank you. Of my comedy? 267 00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:58,056 - Of your everything. - Oh. [laughs] 268 00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,683 - Hey, Bob. 269 00:09:59,724 --> 00:10:01,851 - Marty! How you doing? It's good to see you, man. 270 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:04,145 - Gonna be fun today. - Yeah. 271 00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:06,147 - It feels like... 272 00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:07,857 5 MPH over here. 273 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:10,235 - Well, we're starting downwind today, so... 274 00:10:10,276 --> 00:10:15,240 - Yeah, I think north is in that direction? 275 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,282 Could be wrong. 276 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:17,575 Hey, I'm Ava. 277 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,285 I'm just filling in as caddy today, 278 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,996 so I might be leaning on you for some advice. 279 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:25,542 But, uh, yeah, ready to carry some clubs. 280 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:27,002 - You don't really carry them. 281 00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:29,504 You put them in the back of the cart. 282 00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:32,549 - Oh. Huh. 283 00:10:32,590 --> 00:10:35,260 Seems like the cart is a caddy, and we're just doing theater, 284 00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,679 but, uh, that's cool, that's cool. 285 00:10:37,762 --> 00:10:40,265 - Also, your vest is on backwards. 286 00:10:40,348 --> 00:10:42,058 - Oh. 287 00:10:42,100 --> 00:10:43,727 I like it like that. 288 00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:44,894 Balenciaga. 289 00:10:44,936 --> 00:10:46,062 You know. 290 00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:47,605 It's fashion. 291 00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,024 - You golfed, I assume, when you were there. 292 00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:50,608 - I did. We golfed-- I think we golfed two days. 293 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,360 - Oh, my gosh. - The course was great. 294 00:10:52,444 --> 00:10:54,904 - We're here for the kids, but sure feels good 295 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:57,449 to hit a good one, huh? - What? 296 00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:58,950 - Oh, yeah, we missed it. Sorry. 297 00:10:59,034 --> 00:11:00,035 - Oh. - Sorry. 298 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:02,203 Oh, you're up. - All right. 299 00:11:07,834 --> 00:11:10,211 - Ooh, nice distance on that one, Bob. 300 00:11:10,295 --> 00:11:11,338 - Thanks, Deborah. 301 00:11:11,421 --> 00:11:13,548 - Not as far as mine, though. 302 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:14,549 - You're up. 303 00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:17,218 - Oh, gosh. Um, all right.. 304 00:11:17,302 --> 00:11:19,804 - Good poke. 305 00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,516 - You have a really buoyant form, Deborah. 306 00:11:23,600 --> 00:11:25,018 - [chuckles] 307 00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:26,811 - Hey, don't be afraid to deepen that shoulder tilt. 308 00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:29,522 - Oh, right, thank you. That's really good advice. 309 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:31,107 I'll try not to be too afraid. 310 00:11:31,149 --> 00:11:33,026 - [chuckles] 311 00:11:33,109 --> 00:11:35,403 - Yeah, she's really timid. 312 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:40,325 - Nice! [water splashes] 313 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:42,410 - It was terrible. 314 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,579 Bob, you got to give me some more pointers. 315 00:11:44,662 --> 00:11:46,414 - All right. - No, that was really helpful. 316 00:11:46,498 --> 00:11:47,999 - I don't have that many. - Thank you. 317 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,000 - OK. 318 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:52,337 [upbeat music] 319 00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:53,797 - OK, that was solid, but on the next one, 320 00:11:53,838 --> 00:11:55,465 you're gonna want to avoid the slope. 321 00:11:55,507 --> 00:11:58,843 Or maybe you want to aim for the slope so the ball rolls. 322 00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,346 You definitely want to do something with the slope. 323 00:12:01,429 --> 00:12:04,182 The slope is a huge part of our lives right now. 324 00:12:04,265 --> 00:12:06,851 - [sighs] Flash cards. - Right, right. 325 00:12:06,893 --> 00:12:09,604 All right. OK, go for it. 326 00:12:09,688 --> 00:12:10,730 - Oh, I know this one! 327 00:12:10,814 --> 00:12:13,650 Flat-earther, loves boats. 328 00:12:13,692 --> 00:12:16,486 Allegations against the son. 329 00:12:16,528 --> 00:12:17,696 Barry Plutz! 330 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,239 - Correct! - Whoo! 331 00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:25,245 - Miss, that's the men's tee. 332 00:12:26,371 --> 00:12:27,372 The women's tee's further up. 333 00:12:27,414 --> 00:12:28,873 - Fuck that. 334 00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,213 - Damn. - Nice. 335 00:12:36,548 --> 00:12:37,549 Sorry. 336 00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:46,141 - I'm in love. 337 00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:52,230 - Can I use the women's tee? [laughter] 338 00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:54,232 [upbeat funky music] 339 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,734 - Hi. 340 00:12:55,817 --> 00:12:57,986 Come on, come on. Let's work this room. 341 00:12:58,069 --> 00:13:01,031 Hey, Mr. 3 Under Par. 342 00:13:01,072 --> 00:13:03,074 [laughter] 343 00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,744 I love your politics. Cheers. 344 00:13:05,827 --> 00:13:07,203 Interesting stuff. 345 00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:09,122 - Don't tell anyone, but you're my favorite. 346 00:13:09,205 --> 00:13:10,457 - Oh, so glad! 347 00:13:10,540 --> 00:13:12,667 - Can I offer you ladies cigars? 348 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:14,419 - Oh, we don't really-- - We'd love to. 349 00:13:15,420 --> 00:13:16,963 - Light 'em up. 350 00:13:17,047 --> 00:13:19,382 - You are funnier than Seinfeld! 351 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,633 [laughs] 352 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,385 It's a birthday video for your grandniece? 353 00:13:22,427 --> 00:13:24,095 Oh, sure. Give me your phone. 354 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,680 - I'll tell you what-- 355 00:13:25,764 --> 00:13:26,973 I'm rooting for you. 356 00:13:27,057 --> 00:13:28,850 - Oh, I like the sound of that. 357 00:13:28,933 --> 00:13:31,394 - [coughs, hacks] 358 00:13:31,436 --> 00:13:32,979 It's a good one. 359 00:13:35,065 --> 00:13:37,984 [gentle piano music] 360 00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:40,945 ♪ ♪ 361 00:13:40,987 --> 00:13:44,449 - ♪ Simple pleasures ♪ 362 00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:46,201 ♪ Just to take the time ♪ 363 00:13:46,284 --> 00:13:48,953 - A-and don't think I haven't heard about your ski trips. 364 00:13:49,037 --> 00:13:50,372 - What? - What? 365 00:13:50,455 --> 00:13:52,790 Renting out an entire floor in Gstaad? 366 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,793 - I couldn't decide which view I wanted. 367 00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:57,962 - Ah! [laughs] - Seriously. 368 00:13:58,004 --> 00:13:59,589 - Also, a little birdie told me that you 369 00:13:59,631 --> 00:14:01,466 are on the alumni board at Dartmouth? 370 00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:02,967 - I sure am. - Wow. 371 00:14:03,009 --> 00:14:04,302 - We were just there for parents' weekend. 372 00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:05,303 - Aw. 373 00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:06,930 - The foliage this year was stunning. 374 00:14:06,971 --> 00:14:09,140 - Oh, well, maybe you could put in a good word for my grandson. 375 00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:11,976 - Oh, I see, ulterior motives. - Well... 376 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,771 - How old? - He's due in about 20 weeks. 377 00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:16,231 - [laughs loudly] 378 00:14:16,314 --> 00:14:18,858 - Can't start too soon, right? [laughter] 379 00:14:18,942 --> 00:14:20,068 - It's for the kids! 380 00:14:20,151 --> 00:14:22,320 - I'll do an interview. 381 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:23,863 - For the kids! 382 00:14:27,492 --> 00:14:28,618 - What are you doing? 383 00:14:28,660 --> 00:14:31,621 - Looking for that gorgeous golf queen from yesterday. 384 00:14:31,663 --> 00:14:33,415 - She's behind us today, dummy. 385 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,086 - Whew. Good looking out, boss. 386 00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,760 - There you go. 387 00:14:45,844 --> 00:14:47,345 Not bad. 388 00:14:47,429 --> 00:14:50,140 - Well, thanks to you. 389 00:14:50,181 --> 00:14:51,433 - [whispering] I remember you being 390 00:14:51,516 --> 00:14:53,810 a better player than this, hmm? 391 00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:56,813 - I don't know what you're talking about. 392 00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,815 - Hey, caddy girl. 393 00:14:58,857 --> 00:15:01,526 You gonna clean up that divot your golfer made? 394 00:15:01,609 --> 00:15:02,861 - Uh, oh, yeah. 395 00:15:02,944 --> 00:15:04,529 Def. [chuckles] 396 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:08,700 This divot officially needs to be re-divoted. 397 00:15:08,783 --> 00:15:09,868 - Here. 398 00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,164 Get on your knees. 399 00:15:14,205 --> 00:15:17,167 [sultry music] 400 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:24,215 ♪ ♪ 401 00:15:24,215 --> 00:15:25,967 That's it. 402 00:15:26,051 --> 00:15:27,510 ♪ ♪ 403 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,179 - All right, all right. Calm down. Calm down. 404 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,722 All right, back to business. 405 00:15:30,764 --> 00:15:34,184 Our next auction item is a weekend of pampering 406 00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:36,561 at the Canyon Ranch spa. 407 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,605 Ooh, I love that place. 408 00:15:38,688 --> 00:15:41,024 As an added bonus, I lost an emerald earring 409 00:15:41,066 --> 00:15:42,817 in their saltwater plunge pool last August. 410 00:15:42,901 --> 00:15:43,860 If you can find it, 411 00:15:43,902 --> 00:15:46,029 this package is worth an extra 11 grand. 412 00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,865 [laughter] - Give her a show! 413 00:15:48,907 --> 00:15:51,743 - Let's start the bidding off at 2,000. 414 00:15:51,785 --> 00:15:53,411 Anybody? 2,000? 2,000? Anyb-- 415 00:15:53,495 --> 00:15:55,580 2,000, this table right here, this gentleman. 416 00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,332 - Wow, your own plane. 417 00:15:57,415 --> 00:15:59,084 - I could fly you to Turks and Caicos. 418 00:15:59,125 --> 00:16:02,587 And from there, you could go wherever you needed to go. 419 00:16:02,629 --> 00:16:04,089 - What an offer. 420 00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:05,715 Deborah! Hi. 421 00:16:05,757 --> 00:16:06,758 - Hi. 422 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:08,551 [gasps] Glenn! How you doing? 423 00:16:08,593 --> 00:16:09,761 Good to see you. 424 00:16:09,844 --> 00:16:11,763 Have you seen Bob? He hasn't bid on anything. 425 00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:13,264 I'm afraid I offended him when I did that bit 426 00:16:13,348 --> 00:16:15,350 eviscerating the Michelin star system. 427 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:17,060 I knew that was too edgy for this crowd. 428 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:19,479 - I saw him sneak out after you auctioned off the safari. 429 00:16:19,562 --> 00:16:21,189 Was that a low-key rhino hunt? 430 00:16:21,272 --> 00:16:23,400 - Huh? No. Yeah, maybe. 431 00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:26,194 - Don't go! [sighs] 432 00:16:26,277 --> 00:16:27,946 - You have gorgeous hips. 433 00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:31,074 - [chuckles] 434 00:16:31,116 --> 00:16:34,077 [soft elegant music playing] 435 00:16:34,119 --> 00:16:39,207 ♪ ♪ 436 00:16:39,290 --> 00:16:41,001 [indistinct chatter] 437 00:16:41,084 --> 00:16:42,460 - OK, the '96 Dom Perignon. 438 00:16:42,502 --> 00:16:43,503 - Great. - Great. 439 00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:47,090 - Yeah? Are we celebrating? - Yeah. 440 00:16:47,132 --> 00:16:48,883 - Hmm. 441 00:16:51,886 --> 00:16:55,473 [soft jazz piano music] 442 00:16:55,515 --> 00:16:56,641 - [sighs] 443 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,477 ♪ ♪ 444 00:16:59,561 --> 00:17:01,563 - Ah, Deborah. 445 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:02,981 - Come here often? 446 00:17:03,064 --> 00:17:05,233 - [chuckles] Wow, two stand-up comedians 447 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:07,777 running into each other at a golf club in Nevada. 448 00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:09,654 [chuckles] You must be like, what? 449 00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:12,240 I just-- I flew up briefly for a-- 450 00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:14,284 - Meeting? 451 00:17:14,325 --> 00:17:16,243 Looked like it went well. 452 00:17:16,327 --> 00:17:18,538 - It did. Yeah. 453 00:17:18,621 --> 00:17:20,707 I didn't realize you saw. 454 00:17:20,790 --> 00:17:21,750 [sighs] You know what? 455 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:23,792 I'm glad I ran into you, because I just-- 456 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:26,128 I want to say I hope there's no hard feelings. 457 00:17:26,212 --> 00:17:30,592 And it would mean a lot if you were one of my first guests. 458 00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,927 You're welcome anytime. 459 00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:37,766 ♪ ♪ 460 00:17:37,849 --> 00:17:41,728 All right, well, I'll leave you to it. 461 00:17:50,278 --> 00:17:51,363 - Whoa. 462 00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,614 Black on black. 463 00:17:52,697 --> 00:17:54,366 Billie Jean King. 464 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:55,992 It's not not working. 465 00:17:57,369 --> 00:17:58,787 - I'm not getting late night. 466 00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:01,373 - What? What happened? 467 00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:03,708 - I saw Bob Lipka meeting with Jack Danby. 468 00:18:03,792 --> 00:18:06,544 He got the job. - Well, that's bullshit. 469 00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:09,047 All right, so w-w-what's our game plan? 470 00:18:09,130 --> 00:18:10,382 - Nothing. 471 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:11,883 I'll pay you for your whole hiatus. 472 00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:13,176 You can go back to LA whenever you want. 473 00:18:13,218 --> 00:18:15,220 - No, we're not gonna give up. 474 00:18:15,261 --> 00:18:17,889 - It's happening. 475 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:19,766 And of course it is. 476 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:22,644 It was stupid of me to even think I had a chance. 477 00:18:28,191 --> 00:18:29,734 [sighs sharply] 478 00:18:32,195 --> 00:18:33,154 - Deborah-- 479 00:18:33,238 --> 00:18:34,656 - I don't want to talk about it. 480 00:18:40,286 --> 00:18:43,248 [light guitar music] 481 00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:50,338 ♪ ♪ 482 00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:55,093 - ♪ I know we've been asking ♪ 483 00:18:55,176 --> 00:18:59,431 ♪ For trouble, my Lord ♪ 484 00:18:59,472 --> 00:19:02,267 ♪ I know that is trouble ♪ 485 00:19:02,308 --> 00:19:06,730 ♪ You've headed us toward ♪ 486 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:09,566 ♪ Do what you're willing ♪ 487 00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:14,112 ♪ But don't flash that sword ♪ 488 00:19:14,195 --> 00:19:18,867 ♪ ♪ 489 00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:21,286 - You might want to loosen that grip a bit. 490 00:19:26,291 --> 00:19:27,292 - [grunts] 491 00:19:27,334 --> 00:19:28,668 - There she is. 492 00:19:28,752 --> 00:19:31,671 [Freddie King's "Going Down"] 493 00:19:31,755 --> 00:19:34,215 ♪ ♪ 494 00:19:34,299 --> 00:19:35,884 - [clears throat] 495 00:19:35,967 --> 00:19:38,178 ♪ ♪ 496 00:19:38,261 --> 00:19:39,429 - Ooh. 497 00:19:39,471 --> 00:19:42,140 - ♪ I'm going down ♪ 498 00:19:42,182 --> 00:19:45,685 ♪ I'm going down, down, down, down, down ♪ 499 00:19:45,769 --> 00:19:47,896 ♪ ♪ 500 00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:49,814 - I'll have a Corona, please. 501 00:19:49,856 --> 00:19:52,776 Hey, Deborah, can I buy you a cocktail? 502 00:19:52,817 --> 00:19:54,903 - I'll have a Gatorade Zero. 503 00:19:54,986 --> 00:19:57,655 Yellow. 504 00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,240 Thank you. 505 00:19:59,324 --> 00:20:01,826 ♪ ♪ 506 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,454 - Thanks. Keep the change. 507 00:20:04,496 --> 00:20:08,667 - ♪ Well, I'm going back to Chattanooga ♪ 508 00:20:08,750 --> 00:20:10,335 ♪ And sleep on sister ♪ 509 00:20:10,418 --> 00:20:13,338 - I'll tell you what-- you are looking real confident 510 00:20:13,421 --> 00:20:14,964 with that 9-iron. 511 00:20:15,006 --> 00:20:16,007 You know? 512 00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:18,843 You are just getting it done. 513 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:21,471 Hey, Deborah. Deborah. I'm not--I'm not in yet. 514 00:20:21,513 --> 00:20:22,639 I'm--Deborah. 515 00:20:22,681 --> 00:20:29,729 ♪ ♪ 516 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,361 - Nice shot! 517 00:20:36,403 --> 00:20:38,446 - Would you get my ball? 518 00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:44,119 ♪ ♪ 519 00:20:44,202 --> 00:20:46,162 [sighs] 520 00:20:46,204 --> 00:20:47,497 - You want to go to the restaurant, 521 00:20:47,539 --> 00:20:48,623 get something to eat? 522 00:20:48,707 --> 00:20:50,917 - [sighs] I think I just want to be alone. 523 00:20:54,879 --> 00:20:57,841 [soft jazz music playing] 524 00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:02,345 ♪ ♪ 525 00:21:02,387 --> 00:21:04,389 - Hey. - Hey. 526 00:21:04,431 --> 00:21:05,640 - Mind if I sit? 527 00:21:05,724 --> 00:21:06,891 - Sure. 528 00:21:06,933 --> 00:21:08,977 - Thanks. [clears throat] 529 00:21:09,060 --> 00:21:11,730 You're a white-wine girl, huh? 530 00:21:11,813 --> 00:21:16,568 - Not usually, but, um, I wanted to try this. 531 00:21:16,651 --> 00:21:19,904 It's Cameron Diaz's company. - Oh, good for her. 532 00:21:19,946 --> 00:21:21,865 - Is it good? 533 00:21:21,906 --> 00:21:23,408 That's what I've been wondering. 534 00:21:24,659 --> 00:21:26,286 - What do you mean? 535 00:21:26,369 --> 00:21:30,290 - Like, isn't it bad that the goal for actors now 536 00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:34,502 is to, like, be good at art so you can sell CBD lip balm 537 00:21:34,586 --> 00:21:35,754 or whatever? 538 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,922 But then again, actresses have historically had 539 00:21:37,964 --> 00:21:40,175 their image monetized without any control 540 00:21:40,258 --> 00:21:41,509 over how that image was used. 541 00:21:41,593 --> 00:21:44,804 So maybe if this gives them more power and agency, 542 00:21:44,888 --> 00:21:46,681 it's a good thing. - Great. 543 00:21:46,765 --> 00:21:49,434 - But then again, doesn't capitalism 544 00:21:49,476 --> 00:21:52,270 only ultimately benefit evil rich white men, 545 00:21:52,312 --> 00:21:54,689 regardless of who heads any one company? 546 00:21:54,773 --> 00:21:56,149 So maybe it's bad. - Well-- 547 00:21:56,232 --> 00:21:58,234 - But also... [chuckles] Who am I to judge? 548 00:21:58,276 --> 00:22:00,445 I work for a giant media conglomerate. 549 00:22:01,446 --> 00:22:04,032 I'm just gonna go live in the woods. 550 00:22:04,115 --> 00:22:05,617 - On stolen land? 551 00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:09,788 - Oh, God. - [chuckles] 552 00:22:09,829 --> 00:22:11,456 You talk about this stuff a lot? 553 00:22:11,498 --> 00:22:12,791 - It comes up. 554 00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:17,128 - Mm, and she keeps you around. She must really like you. 555 00:22:18,672 --> 00:22:20,006 - Yeah. 556 00:22:23,343 --> 00:22:26,429 [sighs] She found out she didn't get the hosting gig. 557 00:22:26,471 --> 00:22:27,806 She's really upset. 558 00:22:27,847 --> 00:22:29,015 - Oh. 559 00:22:29,099 --> 00:22:31,184 That's what today was about. 560 00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:34,729 Well, it's disappointing, but she'll be all right. 561 00:22:34,813 --> 00:22:36,064 - I hope so. 562 00:22:36,147 --> 00:22:37,816 - I've known her a long time. 563 00:22:37,857 --> 00:22:41,611 And over these past couple years, she's really changed. 564 00:22:41,653 --> 00:22:43,279 And I'm pretty sure that's right about the time 565 00:22:43,321 --> 00:22:46,157 you showed up, kid. 566 00:22:46,199 --> 00:22:48,618 - Thank you for saying that. 567 00:22:48,660 --> 00:22:51,663 Even though calling me "kid" is incredibly infantilizing, 568 00:22:51,705 --> 00:22:52,997 it's also charming. 569 00:22:55,625 --> 00:22:58,503 [cell phone plays French tune] 570 00:23:00,338 --> 00:23:02,173 - Merde. [chuckles] 571 00:23:02,257 --> 00:23:05,093 I got to FaceTime with a French wedding florist. 572 00:23:06,761 --> 00:23:08,179 Au revoir. 573 00:23:15,562 --> 00:23:18,857 - I don't think caddies are allowed to drink up here. 574 00:23:19,941 --> 00:23:21,860 - Oh. Sorry, sh... 575 00:23:21,943 --> 00:23:25,447 I guess I'll leave. - I think you should. 576 00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:27,782 [glass thuds lightly] 577 00:23:27,866 --> 00:23:29,534 And I think you should come to my room. 578 00:23:29,617 --> 00:23:36,666 ♪ ♪ 579 00:23:39,878 --> 00:23:42,047 - [grunts] 580 00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,694 [golf club thuds, Deborah grunts] 581 00:24:07,739 --> 00:24:09,032 - Good evening. 582 00:24:10,992 --> 00:24:12,410 I thought I better get in some practice swings 583 00:24:12,452 --> 00:24:14,621 after you destroyed me on the course today. 584 00:24:16,247 --> 00:24:19,250 I had no idea you were so good. 585 00:24:19,292 --> 00:24:21,086 - Nobody does. 586 00:24:23,755 --> 00:24:25,423 Where's your security? 587 00:24:25,507 --> 00:24:28,051 - Oh, I put a mop and some pillows under my blanket. 588 00:24:31,262 --> 00:24:32,889 I was kidding. 589 00:24:32,931 --> 00:24:34,516 I gave him the night off. 590 00:24:47,278 --> 00:24:48,613 - Mm. 591 00:24:53,118 --> 00:24:55,120 - Ooh. 592 00:24:55,161 --> 00:24:57,288 - [sniffs] Oh, yeah, you stink. 593 00:24:59,958 --> 00:25:02,335 - [moans] What--what was that? 594 00:25:02,419 --> 00:25:05,797 - I said you fucking stink. 595 00:25:05,880 --> 00:25:08,633 Did you not shower after you carried those clubs all day? 596 00:25:08,717 --> 00:25:11,469 Hmm? 597 00:25:11,553 --> 00:25:14,973 - Oh, uh... [chuckles] I-I-I did. 598 00:25:15,056 --> 00:25:16,808 I washed my hair, even. 599 00:25:16,850 --> 00:25:18,560 - No. 600 00:25:18,643 --> 00:25:21,271 I think you need a shower, caddy girl. 601 00:25:25,734 --> 00:25:27,068 - Hold on. Sorry. 602 00:25:27,152 --> 00:25:30,321 Um, I just want to be clear about one thing. 603 00:25:30,405 --> 00:25:33,116 Um, I'm not actually a caddy. 604 00:25:33,158 --> 00:25:36,161 - What? You were caddying. 605 00:25:36,202 --> 00:25:37,787 Mm. - Oh, my God. 606 00:25:37,829 --> 00:25:41,499 Yeah. No, um, I-I was just filling in for the weekend. 607 00:25:41,541 --> 00:25:43,293 I actually work full-time as a co-producer 608 00:25:43,335 --> 00:25:45,337 on a topical comedy variety show, 609 00:25:45,378 --> 00:25:46,963 which has been such a cool experience-- 610 00:25:47,005 --> 00:25:49,883 to use my comedy skills to engage with real issues. 611 00:25:49,966 --> 00:25:51,051 What? 612 00:25:51,134 --> 00:25:52,927 - All right. 613 00:25:53,011 --> 00:25:55,764 - Hold on. [chuckles] Is that a deal-breaker for you? 614 00:25:55,847 --> 00:25:58,475 - Yeah. This entire situation is fucked now. 615 00:25:58,516 --> 00:26:00,435 - Well, wait. 616 00:26:00,477 --> 00:26:02,896 Were you only into me 'cause I was a caddy? 617 00:26:02,979 --> 00:26:04,606 - Yes. 618 00:26:04,689 --> 00:26:06,107 - [scoffs] OK. 619 00:26:06,191 --> 00:26:08,026 Is this, like, some weird power thing 620 00:26:08,068 --> 00:26:09,361 where you only wanted to fuck me 621 00:26:09,402 --> 00:26:11,654 because I'm your working-class subordinate? 622 00:26:11,696 --> 00:26:13,615 Kind of problematic. - Oh, God. 623 00:26:13,698 --> 00:26:15,950 Everything is so problematic these days. 624 00:26:16,034 --> 00:26:18,328 What, are you gonna lecture me on inclusivity, 625 00:26:18,370 --> 00:26:21,122 tell me how I can't fund fracking? 626 00:26:21,206 --> 00:26:22,874 - Fra--fracking? 627 00:26:22,916 --> 00:26:24,501 Are you a Republican? 628 00:26:24,542 --> 00:26:25,877 - Obviously. 629 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,463 - Oh, my God, that was not on your flash card. 630 00:26:28,546 --> 00:26:31,216 It just said you were a mother to two German shepherds! 631 00:26:31,257 --> 00:26:32,634 - What? 632 00:26:32,717 --> 00:26:35,720 - You're a gay Republican? How does that make sense? 633 00:26:35,762 --> 00:26:38,056 - You're a co-producer pretending to be a caddy. 634 00:26:38,098 --> 00:26:40,517 How does that make sense? - I don't know! It doesn't. 635 00:26:40,558 --> 00:26:42,102 I was just trying to be a good person, 636 00:26:42,185 --> 00:26:44,270 and ethical consumption is fucking impossible! 637 00:26:44,354 --> 00:26:46,064 Where is my shirt? 638 00:26:46,106 --> 00:26:49,359 - I was really looking forward to pissing on a caddy. 639 00:26:49,401 --> 00:26:51,611 - You were not gonna piss on me! 640 00:26:51,695 --> 00:26:53,613 - Yeah, I was. - No, you weren't. 641 00:26:53,697 --> 00:26:56,449 - Yes, I was. I was going to piss all over you. 642 00:26:56,533 --> 00:26:58,243 - You weren't gonna piss on me, no. 643 00:26:58,284 --> 00:27:00,161 - Oh, wow, a liberal kink-shamer. 644 00:27:00,245 --> 00:27:02,247 I thought you people were supposed to be sex-positive. 645 00:27:02,288 --> 00:27:03,331 - Oh, my God. 646 00:27:03,415 --> 00:27:05,500 I would happily let a socialist pee on me! 647 00:27:05,583 --> 00:27:07,669 Buh-bye, lady. 648 00:27:07,752 --> 00:27:09,546 [door opens] - Your loss! 649 00:27:09,587 --> 00:27:10,880 [door closes] 650 00:27:17,429 --> 00:27:20,432 - You know, people are probably afraid to tell you this, 651 00:27:20,473 --> 00:27:23,601 but your swing sucks. 652 00:27:23,643 --> 00:27:25,437 - Really? - Yeah, what do they call you? 653 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:27,772 Oh, yeah, Slice and Dice Lipka. 654 00:27:27,856 --> 00:27:29,733 - Now, that's just mean. 655 00:27:29,774 --> 00:27:31,693 - [chuckles] 656 00:27:31,776 --> 00:27:33,945 - OK, don't hold back. 657 00:27:34,029 --> 00:27:35,238 - Well, I don't know where to start. 658 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,699 I mean, just-- the way you address the ball, 659 00:27:37,741 --> 00:27:39,951 you got to keep your left foot lined up with the club. 660 00:27:39,993 --> 00:27:40,952 - Which I do. 661 00:27:40,994 --> 00:27:41,953 - Turn your club face a little bit. 662 00:27:41,995 --> 00:27:43,163 Turn your club face a little bit. 663 00:27:43,246 --> 00:27:44,164 - OK. 664 00:27:44,247 --> 00:27:45,457 - And keep your left arm straighter. 665 00:27:45,498 --> 00:27:47,334 - All right. 666 00:27:47,417 --> 00:27:48,626 Like this? 667 00:27:48,668 --> 00:27:50,170 - Yeah. 668 00:27:50,253 --> 00:27:52,172 - All right. 669 00:27:55,800 --> 00:27:57,010 - That was pathetic. 670 00:27:57,093 --> 00:27:59,304 - Pathetic? - Mm-hmm. 671 00:27:59,346 --> 00:28:02,015 - Well, why don't you come over here and show me? 672 00:28:02,098 --> 00:28:04,642 - Jesus Christ, I got to do everything myself. 673 00:28:04,684 --> 00:28:07,604 OK, remember, you're not playing fucking baseball! 674 00:28:07,645 --> 00:28:10,607 - [exhales deeply, chuckles] 675 00:28:10,648 --> 00:28:14,277 [indistinct chatter] 676 00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:22,369 [clicks tongue] 677 00:28:25,580 --> 00:28:28,333 [indistinct chatter continues] 678 00:28:28,375 --> 00:28:29,668 - Feel that? - Yeah, I feel that. 679 00:28:29,751 --> 00:28:31,002 - All the power comes from your hips. 680 00:28:31,086 --> 00:28:33,338 And then your chest, your chest 681 00:28:33,380 --> 00:28:35,924 ends up like that, right? 682 00:28:36,007 --> 00:28:38,468 You follow with your chest, like that. 683 00:28:38,510 --> 00:28:39,803 - How about here? 684 00:28:42,013 --> 00:28:43,431 - That works. 685 00:28:43,515 --> 00:28:45,767 - Yeah. 686 00:28:45,850 --> 00:28:47,602 I think so too. 687 00:28:47,686 --> 00:28:50,605 [gentle music] 688 00:28:50,689 --> 00:28:57,696 ♪ ♪ 689 00:28:59,989 --> 00:29:01,866 I think you already know this, 690 00:29:01,908 --> 00:29:03,910 but we made a decision about the show. 691 00:29:03,993 --> 00:29:05,495 - I know. 692 00:29:05,537 --> 00:29:08,498 [Leisure's "Got It Bad"] 693 00:29:08,540 --> 00:29:10,834 ♪ ♪ 694 00:29:10,875 --> 00:29:14,337 - ♪ Girl, you think you got it bad ♪ 695 00:29:14,379 --> 00:29:16,673 ♪ Doo-doo-doo-doo-doo-doo ♪ 696 00:29:16,715 --> 00:29:23,763 ♪ ♪ 697 00:29:25,557 --> 00:29:28,977 [birds chirping] 698 00:29:29,060 --> 00:29:32,063 [indistinct chatter] 699 00:29:36,609 --> 00:29:38,570 - You dirty diva. 700 00:29:42,907 --> 00:29:44,576 Get it, Derba. 701 00:29:50,206 --> 00:29:53,001 Excusez-moi, Miss Thang! 702 00:29:53,084 --> 00:29:55,128 I saw you doing the walk of shame this morning. 703 00:29:55,211 --> 00:29:56,755 High five. 704 00:29:56,796 --> 00:29:58,298 - I don't want to talk about it. 705 00:29:58,381 --> 00:30:00,300 - Oh, come on. What happened? 706 00:30:00,383 --> 00:30:01,926 Who happened? Marty? 707 00:30:03,053 --> 00:30:05,472 Oh, no, Deborah, not Bill Blort from Cincinnati. 708 00:30:05,555 --> 00:30:07,057 - No. 709 00:30:07,098 --> 00:30:09,100 Bob Lipka. 710 00:30:09,142 --> 00:30:11,353 - Oh, shit. Nice. 711 00:30:11,436 --> 00:30:13,646 - No, not nice. Mistake. 712 00:30:13,730 --> 00:30:15,523 Pack your things. We're leaving early. 713 00:30:15,607 --> 00:30:16,858 I'm not gonna finish the tournament. 714 00:30:16,941 --> 00:30:18,276 - Wait, why are you so upset? 715 00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:21,237 - Oh, God! I don't know what came over me. 716 00:30:21,321 --> 00:30:24,032 I was so mad, I just-- 717 00:30:24,115 --> 00:30:26,409 The meaner I was to him, the more into me he was! 718 00:30:26,451 --> 00:30:28,453 I just got swept up. 719 00:30:28,495 --> 00:30:29,704 - Makes sense. 720 00:30:29,746 --> 00:30:31,581 Half the dudes here are probably pain pigs. 721 00:30:32,624 --> 00:30:35,418 - I don't sleep with married men. 722 00:30:35,460 --> 00:30:37,045 - Haven't you and Marty-- 723 00:30:37,128 --> 00:30:39,631 - No, never when he's been married. 724 00:30:39,714 --> 00:30:40,965 - I don't get it. 725 00:30:41,049 --> 00:30:43,134 You're not exactly a rule follower. 726 00:30:43,218 --> 00:30:44,636 You care about monogamy? 727 00:30:44,678 --> 00:30:45,887 - I follow rules. 728 00:30:45,970 --> 00:30:47,847 - You've literally committed voter fraud. 729 00:30:47,931 --> 00:30:49,724 You vote in Nevada and Florida. 730 00:30:49,808 --> 00:30:52,352 - I got confused once, and I regret ever telling you. 731 00:30:53,478 --> 00:30:54,562 Oh, I feel sick. 732 00:30:54,604 --> 00:30:56,439 - You have to be kinder to yourself. 733 00:30:56,481 --> 00:30:58,650 Also, you've had a really tough weekend. 734 00:30:58,692 --> 00:30:59,734 It's OK. 735 00:30:59,818 --> 00:31:02,904 - I swore when this happened to me... 736 00:31:02,987 --> 00:31:05,532 I would never be the other woman. 737 00:31:05,615 --> 00:31:07,909 - OK, well, fucking a married man once 738 00:31:07,992 --> 00:31:11,037 is not the same as marrying your sister's husband. 739 00:31:11,121 --> 00:31:13,623 - It's just not who I am. - I get it. 740 00:31:13,665 --> 00:31:15,875 It's important to have values. 741 00:31:15,959 --> 00:31:17,794 But sometimes you make a mistake, 742 00:31:17,836 --> 00:31:19,504 end up in bed with an oil heiress 743 00:31:19,587 --> 00:31:21,131 who wants to pee on ya. 744 00:31:26,845 --> 00:31:28,430 My point is... 745 00:31:28,513 --> 00:31:31,182 trying to be a good person is hell. 746 00:31:31,224 --> 00:31:33,018 But at least you're trying. 747 00:31:33,059 --> 00:31:34,686 And I don't know, maybe it'll help you get, like, 748 00:31:34,728 --> 00:31:36,771 1% over what happened with Kathy. 749 00:31:45,113 --> 00:31:47,615 You want me to sit on your suitcase so you can zip it? 750 00:31:47,699 --> 00:31:49,826 - Yes, please. 751 00:31:49,868 --> 00:31:51,786 - OK. 752 00:31:51,870 --> 00:31:53,496 Also, what happened to your hair, girl? 753 00:31:53,538 --> 00:31:55,290 You guys go swimming? 754 00:31:55,373 --> 00:31:56,833 - I don't know. 755 00:31:56,875 --> 00:31:58,752 I think I made him sit in the shower. 756 00:31:58,835 --> 00:32:00,086 - Oh. 757 00:32:00,170 --> 00:32:01,588 Freak nasty. 758 00:32:01,671 --> 00:32:04,591 [upbeat music] 759 00:32:04,674 --> 00:32:09,763 ♪ ♪ 760 00:32:09,846 --> 00:32:12,349 - Thank you. - No problem. 761 00:32:12,390 --> 00:32:15,268 [doorbell rings] 762 00:32:16,853 --> 00:32:19,647 - Kathy Vance? - Yes? 763 00:32:19,731 --> 00:32:21,232 - You are cordially invited 764 00:32:21,274 --> 00:32:26,237 to attend Deborah Vance's Vegas Christmas Spectacular. 765 00:32:26,279 --> 00:32:28,406 - My sister, Deborah Vance? 766 00:32:28,490 --> 00:32:30,408 Is this a prank? 767 00:32:30,492 --> 00:32:33,328 - I-I don't know. I'm just the messenger. 768 00:32:34,496 --> 00:32:35,914 - Thank you. 769 00:32:35,955 --> 00:32:39,376 - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. 770 00:32:39,459 --> 00:32:41,586 - Nobody tips anymore. 771 00:32:41,628 --> 00:32:44,589 [Marvin Gaye's "Purple Snowflakes"] 772 00:32:44,631 --> 00:32:45,590 ♪ ♪ 773 00:32:45,632 --> 00:32:47,425 - ♪ Softly they flow ♪ 774 00:32:47,467 --> 00:32:49,219 ♪ Where do they go? ♪ 775 00:32:49,260 --> 00:32:51,805 - ♪ Purple snowflakes ♪ - ♪ Cover the ground ♪ 776 00:32:51,888 --> 00:32:54,641 ♪ Without a sound ♪ - ♪ Gentle snowflakes ♪ 777 00:32:54,724 --> 00:32:57,769 - ♪ Fall from the sky before your eyes ♪ 778 00:32:57,811 --> 00:33:00,605 - ♪ It's so thrilling ♪ - ♪ Blankets of white ♪ 779 00:33:00,647 --> 00:33:03,566 ♪ Brighten the night ♪ - ♪ Such a feeling ♪ 780 00:33:03,608 --> 00:33:06,736 - ♪ They seem to say ♪ 781 00:33:06,778 --> 00:33:11,366 ♪ That our love is here to stay ♪ 782 00:33:11,449 --> 00:33:14,160 ♪ We'll be cozy and warm ♪ 783 00:33:14,244 --> 00:33:18,248 ♪ Until summer flowers bloom ♪ 784 00:33:18,289 --> 00:33:20,875 ♪ ♪ 785 00:33:20,959 --> 00:33:24,129 ♪ Here in our nest, we're surely blessed ♪ 786 00:33:24,212 --> 00:33:26,798 - ♪ Chestnuts roasting ♪ - ♪ Over the heat ♪ 787 00:33:26,840 --> 00:33:29,759 ♪ Gee, ain't life sweet? ♪ - ♪ Tootsies toasting ♪ 788 00:33:29,801 --> 00:33:32,971 - ♪ Drifting on air without a care ♪ 789 00:33:33,013 --> 00:33:35,640 - ♪ Purple snowflakes ♪ - ♪ Cover the ground ♪ 790 00:33:35,682 --> 00:33:38,768 ♪ Without a sound ♪ - ♪ Love the snowflakes ♪ 791 00:33:38,810 --> 00:33:42,397 - ♪ As sure as snowflakes ♪ 792 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:46,484 ♪ Fall from the gloom ♪ 793 00:33:46,568 --> 00:33:50,655 ♪ I will always remember this night ♪ 794 00:33:50,697 --> 00:33:54,784 ♪ Here with you ♪ 795 00:33:54,826 --> 00:33:56,661 ♪ Hey ♪ 796 00:33:56,703 --> 00:33:59,622 all: ♪ Snowflakes ♪ 797 00:33:59,706 --> 00:34:01,332 ♪ Pretty purple snowflakes ♪