1 00:00:01,543 --> 00:00:03,545 ["Bad Girls" playing] 2 00:00:15,807 --> 00:00:17,309 - Siloplex. - [laughs] 3 00:00:17,309 --> 00:00:19,019 [shouts] 4 00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:21,897 [shouts] 5 00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,660 [chattering, laughing] 6 00:00:49,091 --> 00:00:50,926 - I cannot believe we are here. - [chuckles] 7 00:00:50,926 --> 00:00:52,344 This is pretty nuts. 8 00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,638 [Greta] Oh, my God. Is that Jack LaLanne? 9 00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,391 I just saw him on television tugging one of those boats 10 00:00:57,391 --> 00:01:00,811 - in the ocean with his teeth. Crazy. - [chuckles] 11 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,355 I'll let him tug my boat, tell you that much. 12 00:01:03,355 --> 00:01:05,190 Stop it. He's old enough to be your father. 13 00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,275 Mm-hmm. 14 00:01:06,275 --> 00:01:09,444 [Sheila] Mmm, on second thoughts, tug away. 15 00:01:10,153 --> 00:01:14,241 Okay, Sheila. Be cool, all right? Just relax. 16 00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:16,994 He's just one of our colleagues here, yeah? 17 00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:20,122 - It's this way toward our booth, ladies. - Course. Coming. 18 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:21,665 Ah! Oh, my gosh. 19 00:01:21,665 --> 00:01:24,042 I got that guy's blender at 2:00 a.m. once. 20 00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,794 It got recalled 'cause the lady lost her finger... 21 00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,796 [muffled] ...but I got it in a great color. 22 00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:37,806 Sheils? You okay? 23 00:01:39,266 --> 00:01:41,852 Two years ago, I stumbled into that workout class. 24 00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:43,937 I could barely get through it. 25 00:01:43,937 --> 00:01:46,315 I felt so weak and so worthless. 26 00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:51,195 And today, we are at the National Health and Fitness Expo. 27 00:01:51,195 --> 00:01:52,863 And we're right in the middle of it. 28 00:01:53,739 --> 00:01:56,575 {\an8}Okay, so we're a little tucked away back here, 29 00:01:57,159 --> 00:01:59,828 {\an8}but, um, that will allow us to be more, 30 00:01:59,828 --> 00:02:02,164 {\an8}- you know, focused on the task at hand. - Mmm. Mm-hmm. 31 00:02:02,164 --> 00:02:05,250 {\an8}- Pressing the flesh. Moving the merch. - Mm-hmm. 32 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:09,213 {\an8}[sniffing] Do you smell that? [sniffs] 33 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,301 {\an8}Sorry, guys. [sighs] Bad batch here. 34 00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:18,514 {\an8}One of our coolers didn't come with ice. We're working on it. [sighs] 35 00:02:20,599 --> 00:02:22,893 {\an8}Fuck! [grunts] 36 00:02:23,936 --> 00:02:26,730 {\an8}[clears throat] Well, the important thing is that we're here, 37 00:02:26,730 --> 00:02:28,482 {\an8}and we have a job to do. 38 00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:31,527 Tastes great on the lips, doesn't sit on the hips. 39 00:02:31,527 --> 00:02:32,611 As a busy mom, 40 00:02:32,611 --> 00:02:35,531 I'm always looking for a quick pick-me-up that won't slow me down. 41 00:02:35,531 --> 00:02:38,534 It's a scientific fact that adding fat-free products 42 00:02:38,534 --> 00:02:40,953 to your diet reduces weight and heart disease. 43 00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:44,998 I can indulge all I want and still slip into my size 6 jeans. 44 00:02:44,998 --> 00:02:47,501 Women want products we can trust in our homes, 45 00:02:47,501 --> 00:02:50,128 and with Hartman Foods, we know we're in good company. 46 00:02:52,840 --> 00:02:54,591 - Hi. Just come this way. - Yeah? Mm-hmm. 47 00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,927 I wanted to just show you something over here. Sorry. 48 00:02:56,927 --> 00:02:58,428 We all love chocolate. 49 00:02:59,054 --> 00:03:00,347 We all wanna be slender. 50 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,516 We all deserve a little fun. 51 00:03:02,516 --> 00:03:04,768 Testing. Slimming. 52 00:03:05,644 --> 00:03:06,687 {\an8}Satisfying. 53 00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:09,064 {\an8}Let me introduce you to Mark Hoffman. 54 00:03:09,064 --> 00:03:11,441 {\an8}He's one of Hartman Foods's top sales reps. 55 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:27,708 You're awfully good at this sales shit, aren't you? 56 00:03:29,668 --> 00:03:30,961 Guess you could say that. 57 00:03:30,961 --> 00:03:33,672 And in such a crappy little corner booth too. 58 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:36,049 [sighs] We're getting plenty of foot traffic. [sighs] 59 00:03:36,049 --> 00:03:38,093 It's not brain surgery, is it? 60 00:03:38,093 --> 00:03:41,138 Flirting with a bunch of mushy businessmen from Missouri? 61 00:03:41,138 --> 00:03:42,764 It's not all flirting. 62 00:03:42,764 --> 00:03:46,268 There's different tactics for different targets. 63 00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:47,936 That's right in your bag of tricks, isn't it? 64 00:03:47,936 --> 00:03:50,022 Saying just what people wanna hear. 65 00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:52,107 [attendees chattering] 66 00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:02,534 {\an8}[mouthing words] Come on. 67 00:04:05,537 --> 00:04:09,875 What is it? What's so exciting, huh? What you looking at? 68 00:04:10,459 --> 00:04:12,794 - There she is, in the flesh. [chuckles] - [chuckles] 69 00:04:12,794 --> 00:04:17,007 Yes. [chuckles] Did you, um-- Did you know that she would be here? 70 00:04:17,007 --> 00:04:18,634 No. Did you? 71 00:04:18,634 --> 00:04:24,389 No. I mean, maybe I did, but, uh, I-- I-- I can't really remember. 72 00:04:24,932 --> 00:04:27,226 - I don't care. - [Kelly] Oh, you don't think about me? 73 00:04:27,226 --> 00:04:29,811 That's very cool and convincing. 74 00:04:29,811 --> 00:04:31,688 - She's here with a diet pill. - [chuckles] 75 00:04:31,688 --> 00:04:33,524 [Greta] You know how many of those things I've tried? 76 00:04:33,524 --> 00:04:35,400 - It's just speed and laxatives. - [Sheila] Ugh. 77 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:38,153 You're up all night using the restroom, then cleaning the restroom, 78 00:04:38,153 --> 00:04:39,821 and-- Oh, I need a restroom. 79 00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:42,449 Ah, they would like you back at the booth. 80 00:04:42,449 --> 00:04:45,744 Uh... [sighs] Her booth is big. No, never mind. 81 00:04:45,744 --> 00:04:49,039 Compare and despair, right? We're doing okay in our little corner. 82 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,832 Where's the bathroom? 83 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:57,130 You wanna hate me, but you can't take your eyes off me. 84 00:04:58,257 --> 00:05:01,218 It's true. It's very unsettling. 85 00:05:01,969 --> 00:05:05,222 [Kelly] Well, go talk to me. Maybe I'll be nice. 86 00:05:05,222 --> 00:05:08,684 Or maybe, I'll pull down your pants and bite your snatch off. 87 00:05:08,684 --> 00:05:10,853 - [sighs] - [Kelly] But at least you'll know. 88 00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,360 [chuckles] 89 00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:34,001 - Marika, hi. Sheila. [chuckles] - [chuckles] 90 00:05:34,001 --> 00:05:36,795 - Long time no-- [chuckles] - No see. Yes. Mm-hmm. 91 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:40,257 So, uh, is Vinnie roaming the floor or... [inhales sharply] 92 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,593 No. He is on exercise tour in Europe. 93 00:05:42,593 --> 00:05:44,344 - Oh. Wow. - Mm-hmm. 94 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,471 Oh, well, I'm sure he's having a great time. 95 00:05:48,015 --> 00:05:50,017 What exactly do you mean by that? 96 00:05:50,017 --> 00:05:52,644 [stammers] Just that he's having a lot of fun. 97 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:56,398 An appropriate amount of healthy fun, yes. 98 00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:57,983 Well, that's great. [chuckles] 99 00:05:57,983 --> 00:06:03,405 He is having a good time. He is healthy, lively, in good spirits. 100 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:05,782 - Oh. - He smelled Dutch tulips. 101 00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:07,159 - Oh, how nice. - Mmm. 102 00:06:07,159 --> 00:06:11,121 And he enjoyed psychedelic art at a museum in Zagreb. 103 00:06:11,121 --> 00:06:12,331 Oh, that's lovely. 104 00:06:12,331 --> 00:06:15,292 He even saw an avant-garde play in Berlin 105 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:18,462 about a banker who's scared of yachts. Hmm? 106 00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,297 - Wow, interesting. - Mm-hmm. 107 00:06:20,297 --> 00:06:22,007 - [inhales sharply] - He's not sick. 108 00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,092 What? 109 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:27,554 - Nothing. [chuckling] - [chuckles] 110 00:06:30,307 --> 00:06:31,892 He's not sick, did you say? 111 00:06:33,143 --> 00:06:34,603 Did I say that, or did you? 112 00:06:38,148 --> 00:06:42,736 Well, I'm gonna get back to my booth, but, um, please tell him, "Hi." 113 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,864 - And please wish him the best from me. - Yes. Good. Fine. 114 00:06:46,365 --> 00:06:50,160 But he doesn't really need your best because the rumors are not true. 115 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:53,872 And he is responding very well to the medication. 116 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,708 Well, I'm really glad to hear that. 117 00:06:56,708 --> 00:06:58,252 - Yeah. - Okay. 118 00:07:05,968 --> 00:07:07,970 [attendees chattering] 119 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,183 - [squealing] - [chuckling] 120 00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:24,361 You're gonna wait in line like a civilian? You don't have time for that. 121 00:07:25,112 --> 00:07:27,656 Go ask her to sign your boob. She'll love that. 122 00:07:36,874 --> 00:07:38,584 - Ma'am, you gotta wait in line. - Oh, I-- 123 00:07:38,584 --> 00:07:43,714 I actually-- I have a booth here. I'm a... [clicks tongue] I'm a fellow celebrity. 124 00:07:46,633 --> 00:07:47,634 Do you know her? 125 00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:52,973 No. 126 00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,897 Here's to the end of a successful day one. [chuckles] 127 00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:03,442 You wooed so many men who work 128 00:08:03,442 --> 00:08:06,904 for big grocery store chains and are named Hank or Stewart. 129 00:08:06,904 --> 00:08:08,197 [chuckles] 130 00:08:08,197 --> 00:08:10,365 Wow, I didn't realize it was a race. 131 00:08:10,365 --> 00:08:12,492 [sighs] You know how I get before I fly. [sighs] 132 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:14,703 - Do you really have to leave tonight? - Mmm, yeah. 133 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:17,706 I promised Ernie I'd be home before the twins' birthday party tomorrow. 134 00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:20,000 God help our marriage if I shove him out of the business 135 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,878 and then leave him alone with 12 five-year-olds and a magician. 136 00:08:22,878 --> 00:08:24,880 Fine, I'll drink alone. 137 00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:28,550 Nothing bad ever happened to a woman alone at a hotel bar. 138 00:08:28,550 --> 00:08:31,887 You should celebrate. You did so good today. 139 00:08:31,887 --> 00:08:35,224 Think of all the hands you shook, all the businessmen you buttered. 140 00:08:35,224 --> 00:08:36,600 You deserve a fun night. 141 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,852 - Watching Dynasty in my hotel room alone? - [chuckles] 142 00:08:38,852 --> 00:08:42,606 Oh, my God, Sheila, meet people. Mingle. Take a swim. 143 00:08:42,606 --> 00:08:44,483 Maybe make out with a bronzed muscle man 144 00:08:44,483 --> 00:08:45,984 - in a leotard and then describe it... - Oh. 145 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:47,319 - ...to me in detail. - Right. 146 00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:48,403 Unless... 147 00:08:49,905 --> 00:08:53,408 You and Carlos aren't exclusive yet, are you? 148 00:08:53,408 --> 00:08:56,703 - What? N-- We're not anything yet. - Okay. Good. 149 00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:59,581 Then just, you know, have fun. But be in bed by 11:00, right? 150 00:08:59,581 --> 00:09:02,292 - You gotta rinse and repeat tomorrow. - Oh, okay. 151 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,379 Bartender, she'll have another. Thanks. 152 00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:07,339 Love you. Make me proud, yeah? 153 00:09:07,339 --> 00:09:09,925 - Muscle man, leotard, bed by 10:30. - [chuckles] 154 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:12,177 - Who says women can't do it all? - [chuckles] 155 00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,096 ["Steal Away" playing] 156 00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:42,958 - Oh, Christ, I'm so s-- - [drink spills] 157 00:09:44,710 --> 00:09:45,961 I'm so sorry. 158 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:48,714 Oh, all good, sunshine. 159 00:09:51,216 --> 00:09:52,801 - There you go. [chuckles] - Thanks. 160 00:09:52,801 --> 00:09:54,344 Felicia. 161 00:09:54,887 --> 00:09:57,222 [gasps] Blackwell. Oh, my goodness. 162 00:09:57,222 --> 00:10:00,225 My mom used to own your entire shapewear collection. 163 00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:04,062 Oh, well, that's very flattering. [inhales sharply] And aging. 164 00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,939 [inhales deeply] You look spectacular. 165 00:10:05,939 --> 00:10:07,733 You're gonna have to tell me all your secrets. 166 00:10:07,733 --> 00:10:09,943 Well, it's not what I do. 167 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,447 - It's what I don't do. - [chuckles] 168 00:10:13,447 --> 00:10:15,616 [chuckles] Mmm. 169 00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,701 And you are? 170 00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:20,245 Sheila. Uh, Sheila Rubin. 171 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:25,542 I knew I recognized you. You trashed my step on live TV. 172 00:10:26,293 --> 00:10:28,795 Oh... [stammers] ...uh, that wasn't meant to happen, 173 00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:30,881 um... [stammers] I mean, not at first. It was a-- 174 00:10:30,881 --> 00:10:33,258 You were right. [chuckles] That thing was a hunk of junk. 175 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:36,970 I'm much happier with my new venture. You did me a favor, sweetheart. 176 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:39,932 Oh. Oh, well, you're welcome then. [chuckles] 177 00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:41,683 I wouldn't go that far. 178 00:10:43,018 --> 00:10:44,728 You have nice hip bones. 179 00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:47,231 Thank you. 180 00:10:47,231 --> 00:10:50,984 I'm putting on a fashion show tomorrow for my new line of slenderizing slips. 181 00:10:51,568 --> 00:10:54,488 How would you feel about participating as a model? 182 00:10:55,739 --> 00:10:58,951 Oh, I-- I don't do, um, much modeling. 183 00:10:58,951 --> 00:11:01,495 Oh, no. Women love it. 184 00:11:01,495 --> 00:11:04,039 And I'm told the men enjoy themselves too. 185 00:11:04,039 --> 00:11:06,959 [all chuckling] 186 00:11:06,959 --> 00:11:08,377 Oh, yes. 187 00:11:08,377 --> 00:11:12,381 No, um, it's not really my, uh, cup of milk. 188 00:11:12,381 --> 00:11:14,049 But, uh, thank you. 189 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:18,470 And, um... [clicks tongue] Uh, it was really lovely to meet you both. 190 00:11:19,555 --> 00:11:22,599 Very well. Suit yourself. [chuckles] 191 00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:24,810 [attendees chattering] 192 00:11:24,810 --> 00:11:27,729 Quick question, do you wanna be liked? 193 00:11:27,729 --> 00:11:30,315 Celebrity is a popularity contest, you know. 194 00:11:30,858 --> 00:11:31,942 At some point, 195 00:11:31,942 --> 00:11:33,944 you're gonna have to give it a fucking rest. 196 00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:39,533 Ma'am? Someone treated you to this. 197 00:11:39,533 --> 00:11:40,909 [Sheila] Oh. 198 00:11:50,127 --> 00:11:51,879 I ordered it extra strong, 199 00:11:51,879 --> 00:11:54,506 considering how you shot down Felicia over there. [chuckles] 200 00:11:54,506 --> 00:11:56,508 [chuckles] Oh, thank you. 201 00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:59,178 - No, thank you for the show. - Mmm. 202 00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:04,474 I just don't understand how they can be showcasing girdles at a fitness expo. 203 00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:07,811 [chuckles] It's 1983, for Christ's sake. 204 00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,104 I know what you mean. 205 00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:10,939 I just-- I learned a long time ago 206 00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:13,775 that saying no feels so good in the moment, 207 00:12:13,775 --> 00:12:16,862 - but there's not a lot of money in it. - [chuckles] 208 00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:18,906 And I can't afford to alienate anyone right now. 209 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:24,369 Really? I would think she would be more afraid of alienating you. 210 00:12:25,037 --> 00:12:26,038 Mmm. 211 00:12:28,165 --> 00:12:29,875 Well, it was so nice to chat, 212 00:12:29,875 --> 00:12:31,835 and I'm sure you must have to tuck in early-- 213 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,295 How about another drink? 214 00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:37,049 Oh, um... [clicks tongue] I'm not really much of a drinker. 215 00:12:37,049 --> 00:12:39,009 - Oh, sure, you're not. - [both chuckle] 216 00:12:39,009 --> 00:12:41,553 Bartender! Tender of the bar. 217 00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:43,722 [bartender] Yes, ma'am. You got it. 218 00:12:48,685 --> 00:12:52,314 What is this? The male section of the expo? 219 00:12:52,314 --> 00:12:56,360 This is the fitness section where they won't be strutting down a runway tomorrow. 220 00:12:56,360 --> 00:12:58,070 - Hmm. - Hey, spot me? 221 00:12:59,613 --> 00:13:00,614 Okay. 222 00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:02,824 Is this what you usually lift? 223 00:13:02,824 --> 00:13:04,618 - I can handle it. - Okay. 224 00:13:04,618 --> 00:13:07,246 - [grunts] Oh, my God. [grunts] - Oh, my God. Oh, my-- Ow. 225 00:13:07,246 --> 00:13:09,289 - Wait, get it off me. [grunts] - Get-- [exhales sharply] 226 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:12,167 - Okay. [inhales sharply, chuckles] - [chuckles] Oh, my God. 227 00:13:12,751 --> 00:13:16,088 - Okay, I lied. [chuckles] - Oh. [chuckles] 228 00:13:16,088 --> 00:13:18,298 I can't do that. [sighs] 229 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,176 I hate exercising. 230 00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:24,638 You're joking, right? You joke a lot. 231 00:13:24,638 --> 00:13:28,934 I do joke a lot, but I'm not kidding. I hate exercising. [chuckles] 232 00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:32,312 I do it never, unless I'm on, you know, performing. 233 00:13:33,981 --> 00:13:34,898 What's worse? 234 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:39,486 Exercising or playing a hot alien sent to destroy Earth in a fur bikini? 235 00:13:42,114 --> 00:13:44,408 How do you know about Tenderizing Tendrils? 236 00:13:45,951 --> 00:13:50,247 Oh, um, I don't know. Doesn't everybody? [chuckles] 237 00:13:50,247 --> 00:13:53,542 No. Nobody in my personal life even knows I was in that. 238 00:13:54,459 --> 00:13:56,253 I didn't have any speaking lines. 239 00:13:56,253 --> 00:13:59,131 Just a few screams and a really long dance. 240 00:14:00,257 --> 00:14:03,886 I must have seen it on a late-night movie channel. 241 00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:05,137 You know, one of those? 242 00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,015 Mm-hmm. Of course. 243 00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:18,400 [Sheila] So, if you hate exercise so much, why did you leave your show? 244 00:14:19,151 --> 00:14:22,237 Oh, you don't know? Or you're pretending not to? 245 00:14:22,237 --> 00:14:26,283 You sure do know a lot about me. Like you studied me or something. 246 00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:28,827 Oh, that's-- that's not true. 247 00:14:29,828 --> 00:14:32,080 Mkay. I believe you. 248 00:14:32,623 --> 00:14:36,919 [inhales deeply] It's kind of a funny story, so get ready to laugh. 249 00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:39,880 I found out that my costar-- my male costar-- 250 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:43,175 was earning twice as much money for a part half as small. 251 00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:47,095 So I said, "How 'bout next year you pay us the same?" 252 00:14:47,095 --> 00:14:49,348 And they said-- You're gonna love this part. 253 00:14:49,348 --> 00:14:52,017 They said, "How 'bout we fire you 254 00:14:53,060 --> 00:14:56,188 and we tell all the other studios to never speak to you again?" 255 00:14:57,356 --> 00:14:58,690 Isn't that a good one? 256 00:14:59,691 --> 00:15:03,487 So... [stammers] ...it wasn't your choice to leave? 257 00:15:03,487 --> 00:15:05,239 They just kicked you out? 258 00:15:06,240 --> 00:15:07,241 That's showbiz. 259 00:15:09,243 --> 00:15:11,411 Now I sell diet pills that give people strokes. 260 00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:12,996 Don't tell anyone. 261 00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:15,290 - Oh, well, no one's actually died. - One did. 262 00:15:18,085 --> 00:15:21,213 You're a really good listener. I feel really close to you. 263 00:15:22,714 --> 00:15:23,715 Me too. 264 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:26,468 [clicks tongue] Screw television. 265 00:15:28,053 --> 00:15:29,179 My real dream... 266 00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,182 is to be a stage entertainer. 267 00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,142 The big stage. 268 00:15:34,810 --> 00:15:36,228 - Broadway? - Vegas. 269 00:15:36,228 --> 00:15:38,480 Vegas. Yes. [chuckles] 270 00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:39,565 That's right. 271 00:15:40,399 --> 00:15:43,485 That's my home right there. That's where I live. 272 00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,823 On the stage. Like a star. 273 00:15:49,491 --> 00:15:51,535 STAGE LIGHTS - R, C, L 274 00:15:54,580 --> 00:15:56,248 [microphone feedback] 275 00:15:56,248 --> 00:16:00,586 [Kelly] This one goes out to my dear friend Sheila Rubin. 276 00:16:01,378 --> 00:16:03,714 ["I've Got You Under My Skin" playing on piano] 277 00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:14,975 ♪ I've got you under my skin ♪ 278 00:16:15,684 --> 00:16:22,566 ♪ I've got you deep in the heart of me ♪ 279 00:16:23,483 --> 00:16:30,157 ♪ So deep in my heart You're really a part of me ♪ 280 00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:37,706 ♪ I've got you under my skin ♪ 281 00:16:38,498 --> 00:16:39,833 [continues singing] 282 00:16:39,833 --> 00:16:43,128 [in high-pitched voice] Is your mini fridge running? 283 00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:45,088 [Sheila laughing] 284 00:16:45,088 --> 00:16:49,510 Is-- Is anything in your room running? The-- The faucet maybe? 285 00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,137 - You better go catch it. - [laughing] 286 00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:55,682 - That's the best you can do? - [chuckles] 287 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:57,559 "Is your mini fridge running?" 288 00:16:57,559 --> 00:16:59,728 - [chuckles] - You try prank-calling Felicia then. 289 00:17:00,521 --> 00:17:06,443 ♪ I've got you under my skin ♪ 290 00:17:09,238 --> 00:17:11,240 [laughter echoing] 291 00:17:12,281 --> 00:17:14,201 [Kelly] You cheated on your husband with a Mormon? 292 00:17:14,201 --> 00:17:15,702 - [Sheila sighs] - [Kelly] You dirty dog. 293 00:17:15,702 --> 00:17:17,913 - [Sheila] And we have a kid. - You and the Mormon? 294 00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:20,499 No, no. The husband. 295 00:17:20,499 --> 00:17:21,916 Was it hot? 296 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,877 - With the husband? - No, the Mormon. 297 00:17:23,877 --> 00:17:28,089 - Oh. Yes. Yes, it was. [sighs] - Are you still seeing him? 298 00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:31,760 Absolutely not. No. No. No! 299 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,345 But I am-- Well, I-- 300 00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:35,639 [gasps] You're seeing someone new? 301 00:17:35,639 --> 00:17:40,227 [chuckles] You like him. You're turning red. [laughs] 302 00:17:40,811 --> 00:17:41,854 Does he like you? 303 00:17:43,522 --> 00:17:44,648 I hope so. 304 00:17:45,315 --> 00:17:46,316 Who wouldn't? 305 00:17:47,568 --> 00:17:48,610 [laughs] 306 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,035 [both laughing] 307 00:17:57,035 --> 00:18:03,125 ♪ Just use your mentality Wake up to reality ♪ 308 00:18:03,125 --> 00:18:09,298 Oh, God. I haven't worn one of these since I was, like, 16. 309 00:18:09,298 --> 00:18:10,674 Winter formal. 310 00:18:10,674 --> 00:18:15,470 I was crowned snow queen... [chuckles] ...and my twin brother got king. 311 00:18:15,470 --> 00:18:18,515 My mom said that I was too womanly for the dress. 312 00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:20,684 It was a blatant reference to my ass. 313 00:18:20,684 --> 00:18:23,896 What on earth would I do at therapy? 314 00:18:23,896 --> 00:18:26,940 Talk about ancient history for a whole hour? 315 00:18:26,940 --> 00:18:29,026 - [chuckles] - And pay for the privilege? 316 00:18:30,819 --> 00:18:31,862 No. 317 00:18:31,862 --> 00:18:35,866 So, you talk to me? Out loud? 318 00:18:37,242 --> 00:18:40,621 Not all the time, but, um... [whispers] ...sometimes. 319 00:18:41,205 --> 00:18:42,206 Do I answer back? 320 00:18:42,206 --> 00:18:45,501 Oh, yeah. Yeah. You have a lot to say, actually. 321 00:18:45,501 --> 00:18:50,380 You-- You do most of the talking. [chuckles] Wait. 322 00:18:50,380 --> 00:18:53,091 When I was a little girl, I used to talk to the pretty lady 323 00:18:53,091 --> 00:18:56,136 on the margarine container when I spread her on my toast. 324 00:18:56,136 --> 00:18:57,804 - Aw. - [inhales deeply] 325 00:18:57,804 --> 00:18:59,097 But she never talked back. 326 00:19:01,058 --> 00:19:03,560 - ♪ 'Cause I've got you ♪ - [Kelly] You all right? 327 00:19:04,853 --> 00:19:08,065 Yeah. Oh, sure. I just, um-- [inhales sharply] 328 00:19:08,774 --> 00:19:11,068 I just can't breathe, and, uh, the walls are moving. 329 00:19:11,068 --> 00:19:13,737 Oh. Well, let's get you out of this thing, okay? 330 00:19:14,238 --> 00:19:15,239 Here. 331 00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:17,449 [Kelly grunts] 332 00:19:17,449 --> 00:19:18,867 - [exhales deeply] - Is that okay? 333 00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:21,703 Sheila? Yeah, let's get you out of this. 334 00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:28,710 It's all right. You can kiss me. 335 00:19:29,670 --> 00:19:32,422 Sheila, I'm right here. 336 00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:36,218 What's the matter, Sheila? Don't you wanna kiss me? 337 00:19:36,218 --> 00:19:37,803 [Kelly singing, distorted] 338 00:19:37,803 --> 00:19:39,429 Sheila, are you okay? 339 00:19:41,014 --> 00:19:42,391 [laughs] 340 00:19:44,601 --> 00:19:45,602 [Kelly] Sheila. 341 00:19:46,270 --> 00:19:48,272 [phone ringing] 342 00:19:53,193 --> 00:19:54,194 Hello. 343 00:19:54,194 --> 00:19:56,905 - [Carlos] Hey. You feeling okay? - Carlos? 344 00:19:57,406 --> 00:19:59,575 Hey. Yeah, yeah. 345 00:19:59,575 --> 00:20:02,703 Uh, I'm just a little bit tired. How are you? 346 00:20:03,412 --> 00:20:05,998 Hmm. You sounded pretty gone at 3:00 a.m. 347 00:20:07,624 --> 00:20:11,253 I called you? Oh, God. What-- What did I say? 348 00:20:11,253 --> 00:20:13,380 You weren't really forming words. 349 00:20:13,380 --> 00:20:16,633 You did manage to ask me if I wanted to come visit you there. 350 00:20:16,633 --> 00:20:20,262 I did? Oh. [clears throat] Oh, God. 351 00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:22,973 Um, wh-- what did you say? 352 00:20:23,682 --> 00:20:27,561 Uh, I said I'd try you in the morning and see how you felt, you know, then. 353 00:20:27,561 --> 00:20:28,937 So, um... 354 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:34,109 Yeah, I mean, I just don't know if you would, uh, enjoy it here. 355 00:20:34,109 --> 00:20:38,989 It's, um-- It's very... "fitness-y." 356 00:20:38,989 --> 00:20:40,866 Yeah. That's kinda what I figured. 357 00:20:40,866 --> 00:20:43,202 So, uh, maybe I'll see you when you get back. 358 00:20:43,202 --> 00:20:45,454 But I would love for you to come. [chuckles] 359 00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,666 All right. Uh, let me see what I can do. 360 00:20:50,626 --> 00:20:51,627 Okay. 361 00:20:52,377 --> 00:20:54,379 [attendees chattering] 362 00:20:57,382 --> 00:21:00,344 I wouldn't call this a cookie, but it sure is sweet. 363 00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:03,138 [laughs] 364 00:21:03,138 --> 00:21:06,517 Yes, it is. [chuckles] As are you, Sir. 365 00:21:06,517 --> 00:21:09,603 Uh, Mark can help you out with anything over there. 366 00:21:09,603 --> 00:21:13,190 Hang on. I got a lot more questions about the product for you, young lady. 367 00:21:13,190 --> 00:21:15,108 Now, is it weight loss or dessert? 368 00:21:15,776 --> 00:21:17,236 If we decide to stock this thing, 369 00:21:17,236 --> 00:21:19,238 I need to know where it's landing shelf-wise. 370 00:21:20,072 --> 00:21:22,115 Why don't you just ask someone who gives a shit? 371 00:21:25,327 --> 00:21:26,954 Well, well, well. 372 00:21:28,455 --> 00:21:29,790 How's my closer doing today? 373 00:21:29,790 --> 00:21:30,958 Not so good. [chuckles] 374 00:21:30,958 --> 00:21:33,752 You've been a real hit with these reps, I will tell you that. 375 00:21:33,752 --> 00:21:35,963 We're sorry to lose you to that fashion show this morning, 376 00:21:35,963 --> 00:21:38,549 but I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles, huh? 377 00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:43,679 I used to not be able to wink, but I've been practicing. 378 00:21:44,179 --> 00:21:47,349 What? No. [stammers] What did you say about a fashion show? 379 00:21:47,349 --> 00:21:51,687 I said it wouldn't be easy to spare you, but the publicity wouldn't hurt us. 380 00:21:53,146 --> 00:21:54,314 There it is, right? 381 00:21:54,982 --> 00:21:58,235 No. [stammers] I said no to the fashion show. 382 00:21:59,862 --> 00:22:00,863 Didn't I? 383 00:22:14,209 --> 00:22:16,044 - [zipper closes] - Ow! 384 00:22:16,044 --> 00:22:19,298 Oh. Ooh. [exhales sharply] 385 00:22:20,007 --> 00:22:21,091 How do you feel? [sighs] 386 00:22:21,091 --> 00:22:23,051 [chuckles] Yeah, I'm-- I can't breathe. 387 00:22:23,051 --> 00:22:25,179 Oh, good. Don't. 388 00:22:25,179 --> 00:22:28,307 Just little sips through the nose. [inhales sharply] 389 00:22:28,307 --> 00:22:30,934 - [inhales sharply] - Like off a piping hot cup of tea. 390 00:22:30,934 --> 00:22:35,230 And don't walk too fast. Nice slow steps. 391 00:22:35,230 --> 00:22:39,526 I like to sing "Amazing Grace" in my head to set the pace. 392 00:22:40,527 --> 00:22:45,532 ♪ Amazing grace, how... ♪ 393 00:22:45,532 --> 00:22:46,617 Kelly. 394 00:22:47,826 --> 00:22:50,120 Are you responsible for this? 395 00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:54,708 You look so pretty. Good luck out there. 396 00:22:55,626 --> 00:22:59,254 [audience applauding, whistling] 397 00:22:59,254 --> 00:23:01,340 [jazz music playing] 398 00:23:17,022 --> 00:23:18,982 [music distorts] 399 00:23:25,155 --> 00:23:26,448 [sniffles, whimpers] 400 00:23:26,448 --> 00:23:28,617 ♪ Amazing grace How sweet the sound ♪ 401 00:23:28,617 --> 00:23:31,537 ♪ That saved a wretch like me ♪ 402 00:23:31,537 --> 00:23:34,456 ♪ I once was lost But now I'm found ♪ 403 00:23:34,456 --> 00:23:36,792 ♪ Was blind But now I see ♪ 404 00:23:36,792 --> 00:23:38,293 Pathetic. 405 00:23:38,293 --> 00:23:42,089 ♪ Amazing grace, how sweet the sound That saved a wretch like me ♪ 406 00:23:42,089 --> 00:23:44,383 - ♪ I once was lost, but now I'm found ♪ - No. 407 00:23:44,383 --> 00:23:46,093 - ♪ Was blind, but now I see ♪ - [laughs] 408 00:23:46,093 --> 00:23:47,344 - [screams] - [audience gasps] 409 00:23:47,344 --> 00:23:48,595 Oh, mercy. 410 00:23:48,595 --> 00:23:50,264 [grunts] 411 00:23:50,264 --> 00:23:53,058 [breathing heavily] 412 00:23:54,142 --> 00:23:56,603 [audience murmuring] 413 00:24:01,233 --> 00:24:03,235 [audience laughing] 414 00:25:04,046 --> 00:25:06,423 - You poor thing. - Leave me alone! 415 00:25:09,885 --> 00:25:12,429 I just feel really bad for you. 416 00:25:21,939 --> 00:25:22,940 [knocking] 417 00:25:26,944 --> 00:25:28,278 [knocking] 418 00:25:29,738 --> 00:25:30,739 [sighs] 419 00:25:31,323 --> 00:25:32,324 I'll be right there. 420 00:25:33,700 --> 00:25:34,701 [exhales sharply] 421 00:25:35,786 --> 00:25:37,371 [sighs] 422 00:25:37,371 --> 00:25:42,709 Oh, shit. Shit, shit, shit, shit. Fuck. [sighs] 423 00:25:47,339 --> 00:25:49,925 Oh, my God. [groans]