Eyes forward. Face calm. You deserve to be here.
Or, at least, you have to convince him you do.
You're not gonna kill me, are you?
What? No. What? No!
Why would you-- No. No, I-I'm here to…
Run away from the husband trying to lock you in the loony bin.
…accept your generous offer of the endorsement thing.
The "endorsement thing"?
You've given it a lot of thought, clearly.
Sell it. Believe it. It's the only way he will.
I have actually, and I realized--
I mean, what an opportunity working with and learning from you would be.
So, here I am.
Should we make it official?
-Let's tan. -Excuse me?
My treat. Come on.
Hey, I don't like the way we left things the other day. I regret it.
Don't say another word.
I mean, it was an intellectual disagreement,
and luckily we live in a country where that can still happen.
Water under the bridge.
-Let me pour you a glass. -Great.
Do you have those 990 series forms and the EIN tax documents for E.Y.E.?
Yeah, somewhere. I don't know exactly where.
Would you go get them, please?
Is this some kind of a breakup?
No. No, it is most definitely not a breakup.
Yeah, obviously I didn't mean it like that. Jesus.
It's been decided that it would be best if you and E.Y.E. parted ways.
I need those tax documents.
So, it's a coup?
Come on, Danny. It's not like you care about any of this.
I don't care? I don't care? I--
Nothing hurts more than someone saying that I--
All I do is care! All I do is fucking care!
-About the ocean? -Yes!
-The environment? -Yes!
I don't think so.
The less you have to do with the group, the better-off it's done.
Our donations are up threefold ever since that good press we got.
You know, some people just aren't cut out for leadership.
And your son, Leo, is?
Maybe. After a few years at least.
Oh, yeah, maybe, in a few years.
He has the charisma of a pile of fucking laundry.
Have you heard him talk about his crush at school, Stephanie K.?
Come on, pal.
He's delusional. And I'll tell you what, so are you!
Danny!
Why don't you go get the tax forms so I can get on with my day?
Okay.
So, you still teach some of your classes, right?
Even though you've expanded, you still lead a lot of your classes?
More than I should. So says Marika, at least.
Why does she say that?
Well, to her, classes are the ground level of the pyramid.
Well, I guess that makes sense.
She's a genius.
Maybe she's gay too. That's gotta be what this is.
Yeah. Well, the thing about aerobics that I love is the aerobics.
And I-- You know, I hardly get to do it anymore.
If she heard you say that, she would tear you to shreds!
"It's not a hobby. Grow up.
If we don't stop growing, we die. Stop biting your fingernails."
I bite my fingernails, and she hates that about me.
So, what is the top of the pyramid?
I mean, really. Is there one?
Is that a philosophical question or a business one?
Both.
When you get a big, fat, juicy buyout offer.
I'm talking Nabisco big.
And then you just sell the whole fucking pyramid
and move to the Bahamas.
But that's a ways away yet.
Are you here to work for me or to try to become me?
He's onto you. Better play dumb.
I guess I--
I'm not really sure.
I'm gonna miss it here.
Okay.
-You're not? -No.
I am ready for new.
Mexico's been around, Bun.
I meant new to us.
Just disappearing for a while, laying low.
That sounds pretty fucking cool to me right now.
I have to say goodbye to her.
My surf spot.
Waves are waves. They got 'em down there too. Keep packing.
Fine. Fuck! We'll go by there on our way out of town.
You're the champ, Bun!
You know, I'm taping a new infomercial today.
Tonight, actually. Marika thinks it will help capture
the "night time is the right time" energy of the thing.
What's the thing?
Well, I am the thing, always.
But the concept is a Vegas nightclub on New Year's Eve.
"Counting Down to a New You."
"New You's Eve."
Exactly!
But Marika wants an "Ol' Blue Eyes in the Playboy Club" feel,
and I want it to be… something else.
Well, you're the thing, right? So, just do it your way.
I mean, we do this every time.
We get in a fight before something big. It's our tradition.
And it's stressful and it wears on us both.
Yeah. But it's your process,
and you couldn't change it even if you wanted to.
Exactly.
She's right, and I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry. I don't know you. I don't know anything about you.
I pretend like I do 'cause I'm so full of shit.
You don't know anything about me.
And… I want that to change.
I want that to change right now.
It's not too late.
I'm tired of being full of shit.
I'm tired of pretending like I care, like I know you.
Pretending like you know me.
It changes right now. Right now.
Have we been in here too long?
-I'm starting to feel a little-- -Relax.
You think they'd sell these things if they weren't safe?
Without a base tan, the sun will burn you to a crisp.
-I just need to be out by noon. -Why is that?
Because I have an appointment with somebody who has disappointed us.
And I just can't miss it.
What the fuck is this?
You picked an interesting day to be my little shadow.
I don't know about being your little shadow.
I do.
You know I can see you, right?
I have ever since you stumbled into my class.
You have a real… something.
I might like you. And I don't like anyone.
Well, I might like you too.
When I was about three or four--
I don't know how old. Was I three?
-I was just bodyboarding then, so… -Can we do this faster?
Nope. I was three.
My cousin was the first one to tell me I could piss in the ocean.
Right over there.
He was just like, "Go in the ocean, dude."
I was like, "Cool."
I was about ankle-deep in.
I just pulled down my trunks and started pissing.
It was glorious.
Sounds like it.
-But then-- -Baby, there is more to this story?
This crotchety old lady,
she grabbed me by the ear and drags me back to my cousin,
and Joe is like, "He's three years old. Now fuck off."
She got all offended and stomped off.
People stomped off back then, you know?
Now…
Yep, that dude's drowning.
God. Hated that. But it had to happen.
What did he do that was so bad that he deserved that?
Well, he did inferior work on our product-- my product.
And if I let people continue to do that without consequences,
we're finished.
What happened to you as a child?
Everything, obviously.
Do you wanna see how big my house is?
Careful. You need a meal ticket, not a new best friend.
I do.
Here we are.
Where are my babies? Where are they?
Where are you? Where are you? Where are you?
Where are you? Here you are! Yes, baby! Oh, yes! Kisses.
Yes. Kisses, kisses. Good boy. Kisses.
Why is this?
We've met. Sheila Rubin.
I know. But why is this, Vincent?
Hush. Come here.
We're talking about bringing Sheila under the Vinnie Green banner.
Yes, we just had a great meeting at the offices,
and Vinnie thought we should come back here and continue the conversation.
-I'm in town just for a few more hours-- -Vincent and I will talk.
Sheila had her first tan today at the office.
I mean, think about that. At her age, first time in the tanning bed.
Well, in San Diego,
we do tend to just rely on the sun.
Your skin is…
No.
Now, Vincent, we have a frozen-food company from Cincinnati
coming to the shoot tonight,
and then to have a big talk afterward.
Do you have a Cincinnati, San Diego?
I don't know what you're asking me.
Perhaps you don't belong here?
That doesn't seem like a question.
Marika, you're being too playful.
She wants to help sell our hosiery.
Well, I've seen the tape, and she won't.
Women don't like you.
Your tuxedo came back from the tailors,
and it is perfect.
Can we talk about my wardrobe for tonight?
I'm leaning towards something a little more casual than the tuxedo.
You know, more me.
Come upstairs.
I want to hear how it went with Diem.
Just a little closer, dude.
-You all right? -Yeah.
-Okay. Okay. Yeah. -Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, no fucking way!
Right? It's this fucking guy.
I don't know what happened.
The current started to take me out.
What are the odds?
He was probably trying to kill himself to get away from her.
Dude--
Wait, I know you.
You do, dude. I know.
Okay, great. We've put two and two together.
-Now, Tyler-- -Tyler?
-I'm him, dude. -And Bunny.
You just saved my fucking life.
Just like Elton said you would.
Oh, yeah, I'm not a huge fan, but that's cool.
Uh-huh. We're leaving.
Wait! Wait!
Wait.
This is a sign.
Oh, no. It's not.
We were meant to be here at this exact moment.
Don't say it.
This all happened for a reason.
Hey! Hey.
Isn't there, like, some kind of medieval code or something?
You gotta come over to my house for wine and sweetmeats now?
-Sounds pretty chill. -What is happening?
I make a pretty decent mole.
How did he know I love mole?
You don't have to call him.
You're in rehab, so it's perfectly acceptable to be out of touch.
You're healing. Growing.
Unless he calls them and finds out you did a runner and never showed up.
Just call him. Buy yourself some time to see this Vinnie thing through.
Keep it simple. Don't get yourself into any more trouble.
You've reached the Rubins.
Please leave us a message after the tone, and we will call you back.
Peace and love.
Hi, Danny! Hi, Maya.
It's me. It's Sheila. Mama.
I just wanted to call to check in
and let you know that I'm good. It's been very, very good here.
I'm already feeling much healthier
and learning so much about myself and the path ahead.
So, thank you for encouraging me to come here.
I really appreciate it. And I love you both.
And I should let someone else use the phone now,
but I'll see you soon. Okay. Bye.
You found the phone, I see. Good.
I hope that's okay. I was just checking in with my family.
I understand as a father of two.
Come on. I wanna show you my lair.
Can you even move in that thing?
Well, it gives a little more than it did,
but I still feel like I'm in a straitjacket.
Well, you have to be comfortable to be confident.
I'm stealing that.
-Go tell her. -It's still rest period.
And she takes her rest period somewhere else?
She sleeps upstairs in the master.
I run hot body-temp-wise.
It's the one thing that we're not in sync on.
But here, it's nice and cool because of the concrete.
Plus, there's my train set.
I've had it my whole life, and the sound, it just-- it soothes me.
And this was your decision? Living in the garage?
Well, of course, it was. It's my house.
I like it this way. You know, it works for both of us.
Do you really like it? Or are you just used to it?
We all adapt to our circumstances, don't we?
Like you and your husband. You had a good chat before?
Watch it.
You're here to learn his secrets, not the other way around.
I just left a message. He worries.
Then it's good that you checked in.
You want me to show you the outfit I like for the shoot?
Sorry I sort of overpromised on the mole.
I think I meant guacamole. I don't know how to make mole.
It's all good, dude.
So, Queen Sheila's off at some spa for the weekend?
Is she paying them, or are they paying her?
No. We're paying.
But she just, you know, needed a little break.
You sure I can't get you a glass for that?
Fucking told you I'm good with the bottle.
Babe, please?
So, Mexico?
How'd that idea come together?
Tyler's always wanted to learn how to make homemade tortillas.
That's true.
So, like, sort of a small business venture?
I don't know. You know,
just seems like they probably have a head start on you down there
when it comes to market share and expertise.
This might be a good time to admit,
we haven't thought the Mexico plan fully, super through.
So, why are you guys really going?
Why is your wife really out of town?
Okay.
I got it.
Who am I to tell you guys how to live your lives?
-Nobody. -Nobody's nobody.
Everybody's somebody.
Yes. That right there is the truth.
Wait, is that the truth?
No, now that I think about it, I don't think that's the truth at all
because there's a lot of nobodies out there just walking amongst us,
and a lot of those nobodies think they are somebodies.
Is this what a nervous breakdown looks like?
Could I share something with you guys that I've never shared before?
Marika may seem overbearing to you, I know.
A lot of people don't understand it, and I don't blame them.
I understand it completely.
I've had some experience with a Marika-type in my life.
You know, someone with a real hold over me.
-What, your husband? -No.
It's someone else. Someone I've just gotten very used to.
That I always thought I needed, but I'm beginning to think…
What are you doing? This is not helpful or necessary.
…that she's holding me back.
How is sharing this helping you? Shut your trap.
She just needs me to need her. She's a parasite.
She tells me she's helping me, but really, she's draining me.
Wait, your mother? Your manager? Who is this person?
What are you gonna say? She's a voice in your head?
He'll think you're crazy, and he's an adult with a train set.
She's an old friend, someone who's been with me for a while.
Do you love it? Because I do. I love it.
-It's incredible. -It is, isn't it?
-Do you want a pep pill? -Yeah.
I get them from a valet parking attendant at the Bistro Gardens,
and Marika doesn't know about it.
We have to keep a few little secrets, don't we?
Being in the studio is always nice,
but here is where the real creative magic happens.
But there's a little game that I like to play first.
You have the chance to even the score right now in the lightning round.
Rapid fire.
Don't think. Just answer.
No skipping. No lying. Don't fuck with me, or you're out.
-You ready? -Yes.
Go. Who were you lying to on the telephone?
-I told you. I wasn't lying-- -Who exactly?
-My husband. -And?
My child.
Where do your husband and child think you are?
-Spa. -Fuck you, Sheila.
-A mental health facility. -For what?
For bulimia.
Is that the throwing-up one?
-Verbal answers only, please. -Yes.
-Does it work? -Yes, until it doesn't.
Your Marika-type, who is it?
-It's me. -No cheating.
It's me, but it's not me. It's just a voice inside my head.
-Sounds crazy. -Yes, it is.
And she controls you?
Well, it feels that way, yes.
And do you hate her?
Intensely, but I am her too.
Who messed with you when you were a kid?
Friend of my father's.
Me too!
Ding, ding!
She did it!
Johnny, tell her what she's won!
She gets a chance to dance with Vinnie.
Ha, fucking, ha!
Green!
Yes!
-Your turn. -Oh, no. That's not how this works.
Fuck you, Vinnie.
What's the arrangement with you and Marika?
We share our home and our lives. Full stop.
Does she know you're gay?
Everyone knows how blissfully happy I am.
You know what I mean.
Well, we understand and support each other.
I had a six-month affair with a Mormon man I despise.
Even though it's over, I just miss it.
I miss being that awful to myself.
-Well, at least you ended it, right? -No. He did.
I don't stop anything myself. That's what the voice is for.
Is that what the voice is for?
That's what it wants you to think.
But you can do anything you set your mind to.
You really believe that?
I make people believe it.
And that's even better than believing it myself.
So without anyone asking or even suggesting that I should,
ever since I was 16, I have been writing my life story.
In my own words.
And I continue to write it,
even as my life has become less and less notable.
Are you gonna read some of it to us?
Damn right he is. Pick a page.
Yeah, I will. Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
No one's ever heard this before.
"And then, there I was, alone,
with nothing but a flashlight, my thoughts,
and a bottle of Hemingway to wash it all down."
Actually, this is more painful than I thought it would be.
Keep going.
"I found out early that a good book is a warm blanket"--
Jesus Christ.
"But reality is a chilly place, and politics is a cold bitch"--
That's unnecessary.
"One that tears away our illusion of safety and forces us to face the…
dragon of life."
I don't think I can continue.
You can and you will.
That's her.
Don't worry. Just stay focused. You got this.
Okay. You've had your fun. Now put on the correct clothes.
These are the correct clothes.
-Shut up, you. -That's not very kind.
Don't fucking talk to me like that. I'm not scared of you.
You're not smart enough to be.
-She's not your fucking mother. -And she is very much not your friend.
You know nothing about her.
She is another imitator. Another parasite.
She listened to me!
All day. To my ideas.
When's the last time you listened to me
instead of bullying me into listening to you?
Well,
I guess that's it then.
Enjoy your shoot.
Okay.
"My 24th year on this blue marble would prove to be my boldest.
But that night, I took one more sip of Ernesto, and off I went.
To discover, to grow,
to pick the fights that needed fighting, and to win."
That sucked.
You sucked.
Yes, I did. And I do.
And despite all my amateurish predictions,
I neither started any fights nor won any.
Is it any wonder she cheated on me?
So, you're, like, cool with her?
Well, I wouldn't say "cool," but I understand it.
-We all do. -Big of you, man,
considering who she got it on with, which is like your archenemy.
Wait, what was that now?
Places, everyone. Places for the top of the show.
Just go get her, Sheila, please. Just tell her I'm sorry.
Vinnie. Vinnie, you're fine.
You've done this so many times before.
Just go out there and be you. Just be you.
Shut the fuck up! Just find her, please!
I need her.
Please. Please, Sheila.
You silly fool.
I told you not to get sucked in, but you wouldn't listen.
You never listen.
You thought you could fix him,
and then all your problems would disappear?
That I would disappear?
But I'm not going anywhere.
You can't fire me. You can't tune me out. You need me.
Shut up! Shut the fuck up. Please.
-You'll rot without me. -I said stop it!
You'll turn into an old, lazy, fat fuck
with nothing to show for yourself. Nothing to live for.
-No reason to be alive on this planet. -Get out! Get out of here! Get out!
-Are you all right, ma'am? -No! No!
I'm not okay! I'm not okay.
I just-- It's-- None of this is working anymore.
I just need some help.
May I help you?
Yeah, I'm Danny Rubin, here to see my wife, Sheila.
-Rubin? -Yeah. Sheila Rubin.
I'm sorry, sir. I'm not aware of any patient by that name.