Tonight was nice.
-Yeah. Yeah, it was. -Yeah.
Maya had a good time.
Which is what's important.
-Yeah. Yeah, she did. -Yeah.
All right. Well, I'll be in touch.
Yeah, we'll talk Thursday…
-Right. Yeah. -…about the weekend.
Okay.
-Sleep well. -You too.
Here you go, Mrs. Rubin.
They didn't have small curd cottage cheese at the store.
I hope that's okay. This is medium curd, I think.
But I did ask them if they would look into the small curd.
They said they'd see about ordering it.
Relax, Fidelia. This looks great.
And I really want you to call me Sheila.
It's just gonna take a lot of getting used to.
If my mom heard me call a boss by their first name--
-Thank you. -Okay.
All right, fellas. Let's go. Everything's coming in here.
Hi.
Hey. How'd you beat me here?
I ran into Ernie in the parking lot, which was kinda fun.
But I said, "See you at home, honey. No time."
-What's all this? -Right.
Well, Ernie bought out and liquidated a company,
which-- Don't worry, everyone got severance. Probably.
But anyway, that means free furniture.
Free to us, at least. So, isn't that great?
Well, the thing is, I kinda like it the way it is.
-Yeah, you mean empty, right? -Yeah, I do.
-Are you serious? -Yeah.
It looks so-- No, I mean, we have all these meetings coming up.
Who will take us seriously?
To me, it feels unencumbered. Just full of possibility.
I agree.
Yeah. Well, of course you do, sweetie. You just got here.
No. But I get it.
Yep. Clean slate. Fresh start.
Hold up! Everything's going back on the truck.
Broom it, boys. You heard the lady.
Overhead is minuscule, which means the margins are impressive.
And what about shipping? It looks very bulky.
The to-market version comes in two pieces that snap together in the center.
Yeah. "To-market" means the real version.
This is what they call the beta.
Thank you for cracking that mysterious code for me.
Well, I like it. I like it a lot.
But I don't love it. And I really need to love it, don't I?
Of course. You're the one selling it.
So, let's just go over a few tweaks that I have. Okay?
See? It opens up.
Let's see. Right.
No. This is not--
This is dangerous. I mean…
It's great. It looks great.
The changes are great. They're exactly what I asked for.
But, I have been thinking.
And a lot of women-- they don't have a separate space for exercise.
And storage is an issue for everyone.
So I want to see it get fully flat, without compromising the stability.
Yeah, we're so close, Ern. A few more tweaks.
Well, eventually, the tweaks are gonna have to stop.
You know, these prototypes aren't cheap.
I thought they were cheap. I thought that was the whole point.
Cheap product. Steep pricing.
I thought that's what gave you a boner for it in the first place.
Look, nobody needs to spend $19.99 on a step.
There are plenty of free steps out there in the world.
And we can address that in the marketing phase.
We'll never get to the marketing phase if we don't go into production.
-I promise this is-- -Hey, this is so exciting, right?
Yes. Healthy conflict. Making the sausage.
Women exercise for different reasons than men.
And I want to-- In fact, I'm determined
to make this about what women want and need from exercise.
However long that takes.
How cool is that? The fan.
Three.
Jesus Christ.
Hey.
Look at that. Bloody knuckles. That's pretty cool, right?
Isn't that why boxers wear gloves?
Yeah, I know that boxers wear gloves.
I'm just saying-- Looks pretty cool, right?
Whatever, man.
All right.
Yeah.
Six. A five, six, seven, go. Okay.
Spread out. Ready?
A five, six, seven, eight. A one two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
And over and turn.
Five, six, seven. Come back.
Two, three, four, five, six.
Really nice work. Thank you.
Nice work.
Gotta say, really like this one on my joints.
It's just right.
But what I like best are the options for stretching and meditating.
You know, it's as much about the cooldown as the workout.
That's what Vinnie says, and he's right.
He's insane, but he's right.
Meditating? Like monks do?
I know it sounds kind of out-there, but we did it in therapy,
and it's really helpful.
I mean, it's remarkable how just a few deep breaths
can really center yourself.
Yep. This is the one.
You're sure? 5.0's the charm?
I know it's more expensive than we hoped, or Ernie hoped,
but I think it's worth it.
Oh, yeah, he's gonna be fine.
Fidelia, will you grab us a couple diet ginger ales?
We have to celebrate.
It's very difficult.
It may not seem like it, but it is.
Certainly not the image I had of you.
The image you've cultivated over the years.
My cultivation of that image, as you put it, was vain. I regret that.
Do you? Do you regret it?
Out of all of the regrettable shit you've done, you regret that?
-There's no need to curse. -I disagree.
Okay. Fine. I regret…
I deeply regret plenty of other shit.
-And I feel sorry. -You should feel sorry.
I feel sorry for you.
For the double grief of infidelity
and the absence of a righteous path to redemption,
as I have with my Mormon faith.
God, I want to punch you in your fucking face so hard right now.
That won't solve anything.
I disagree with that as well, for the record.
I'm much, much stronger than you.
Yeah. Yeah, you are.
I don't know that I'm strong enough to fuck someone else's wife,
fuck over my own family and then decide,
"Hey, maybe I should take up tap dancing."
Did you hurt your hand?
What? Yes.
I got a little carried away with the punching bag.
You ever punched a person before?
I've been punched a lot.
Is that because of her? This tap dancing bullshit?
Not directly, no. Is that because of her?
One hundred percent.
I don't know how you do it.
I don't have a good answer for you.
This is unlike anything I've ever done or ever will do again.
I'm sorry, Danny.
And I do hope that you can find some forgiveness in your heart.
Not for me, but for Sheila.
As my wife has found forgiveness in hers.
Excuse me.
Wow. They do tiki right here, don't they? Down to the ice.
Yeah.
And it helps you forget about the colonial racist overtones.
Could you-- two more. Bungalow 243.
Thanks.
You must be paying a fortune to lay your head down at night here, huh?
And then a bar tab on top.
Well, you know, we're splitting it. Whatever it is, so…
-Attaboy. -Yeah.
Equality's a two-way street.
Having a bunch of sex yet?
I always imagined that's what the Seafarer's Village was all about.
I am not having any sex yet.
Yeah. That's another thing I can be disappointed about.
Did you tell Greta that you were coming to see me?
Wise man. Very wise.
So you got good legal representation?
I've got a devil on my side, and she's got one on hers.
And, you know, they're kind of trying to figure it out.
But honestly, I really don't want to duke it out with her
for the rest of my life.
You know, I got other battles to fight. Actually, starting a job at the ACLU.
Yeah, policy work.
Kinda cool. Really a merging of my academic and political interests,
-which I think-- -That's great, but here's the deal.
Sheila's rocket ship is about to take off.
And any good lawyer--
-Thank you. -Thanks.
Any bad lawyer could argue that you were critical
in the creation of said rocket ship.
Boy, you just cut straight to it, don't you, Ern?
Hey, you have rights as co-owner of her business.
Rights that you can and should assert.
So this is not a social visit?
Well, Sheila and Greta-- They're having a lot of fun,
but they're not the best at making choices.
And as an investor…
I worry.
And you think my involvement is gonna somehow be helpful?
Women are terrifically creative, okay?
But let's face it, they're not the best at making decisions.
Even those who haven't sought treatment for mental issues.
Well, you said it, not me.
But it's not untrue.
-Take your time. -Yeah, let me get this.
-All right. -You got enough to worry about.
Sounds like it's not quite as sad there as I'd imagined.
Yeah, no. It's--
It's actually a thousand times more sad than what you've imagined.
Nah, it's nice.
You know, they've got good facilities and beach volleyball courts.
You've been playing beach volleyball?
Yeah. Yeah, I have.
Once. I played once.
Found out I have pretty sensitive forearms,
which is a bit of a loss.
To the volleyball world, I'm sure.
Yeah. But I can still ride a bike.
So, I thought I'd come over and just grab this old one.
Which you have every right to do. It is yours.
Yep. That's right. I know that. Thank you.
And since I'm here, getting the bike,
I thought I'd just give you a heads-up.
You know, I didn't want to leave without saying anything,
and then you get pissed 'cause I didn't say anything.
But you aren't saying anything, so…
Yeah, no. I spoke with Terry.
And from what it sounds like, it's kinda par for the course
that I should participate your business.
What does that mean?
It's not-- It's just something Terry and I were talking about,
and he's gonna write it up and put it in our agreement.
You have absolutely nothing to do with my business.
You never have. Why would that change now?
Sheil, we were in this very garage,
you know, coming up with ideas, not even three months ago.
Bad ideas.
Smoking pot and brainstorming with me one time
hardly makes you an equal partner.
What it boils down to is that I am entitled to half.
Over my dead body.
Okay. Let's please not get emotional about this.
I'm not clawing for more, okay?
It's just-- This is California law. And if roles were reversed--
But they're not! They're not reversed!
If you had anything worth stealing half of,
you'd know how I feel right now.
-That's fucking mean. -Yeah, I know it is! I intended it to be.
Now, what is that gonna do?
I don't know, but it feels pretty damn good.
You know what every woman I talked to in these focus groups had in common?
Exercise was the only thing in their life just for them.
Not for men, not for their kids. For them.
Can you imagine that, Danny?
Can you imagine having no time or no energy for yourself?
You can't!
You can't possibly because you've spent your whole life
just thinking about yourself!
Fucking balls on you.
After the lying and the cheating that you've done? Huh?
I'm the fucking asshole? I am?
You know what? Why him?
Could you give me that? Can you just tell me why him?
You could've been with anybody. Why John fucking Breem?
I didn't want to be with him. I wanted to be him.
Someone who just gets what they want in this world.
I don't like who you've become.
Los Mormons.
Bun! The Mormons are here. You gotta see this.
As fellow Americans abroad, perhaps you would like to join us in fellowship
at our new LDS facility in the village.
That's a no-go, Momos.
No disrespect to you and your kind,
but I'm afraid you've knocked on the wrong door.
We have a mutual friend. A wonderful man named John Breem.
As you can imagine, starting a new church is very expensive.
He told us you were recently blessed with a windfall.
He thought you could find it in your hearts
to share some of that good fortune with us.
May we come in?
I guess it was, like, a bit of a shock to his system.
You know, seeing the real me after all these years.
Let me just check in to see how sorry for him I feel.
Yeah, nothing. Screw that guy.
He said he's entitled to half.
Well, that surprises me exactly 0%.
I mean, they are all so entitled. What are you gonna do?
-Well, I'm not gonna give up. -Attagirl.
I just have to figure out exactly, you know, what that looks like.
Hey, if you're not gonna give yourself any credit here, I will. Okay?
You picked up the phone instead of the car keys.
You're facing shit instead of running from it.
Yeah. I know. I am, right? I did.
I am, aren't I? I just-- Is that why I feel so terrible?
Of course!
Being present in your life is the fucking worst.
I fucking hate it so much.
That's why nobody wants to do it.
They just want to eat and drink and fuck their way to oblivion.
That sounds so good to me right now.
Hang in there, buddy. You are playing the long game, right?
Oh, man.
How are you?
I need this. Today was a doozy.
-You're a doozy. -All right. Cut it out, you.
You know, we did finally decide on that step. And I think it's great.
Okay.
Well, do we have to talk about it now?
Well, it might be a little more expensive than you hoped, but I think it's worth it.
And I hope you do too.
Are you--
Are you buttering me up? Is that what this is?
You better shut that bearded mouth of yours.
No, seriously.
Honey, are you horny,
or are you trying to get more money out of me?
Why can't it be both?
Since when do you care why I'm asking for sex, as long as I'm asking?
Well, since you convinced me to invest in a major business venture of yours.
That's-- You are--
You said yourself you thought it was a good investment.
I said it can be.
I went to talk to Danny at his bachelor pad. What?
You went to the Seafarer's Village? When?
The other day. We had a couple of mai tais.
And you didn't think to tell me?
Do I-- Do I have to-- You know--
I need to tell you everywhere I go? Everyone I see?
We always tell each other everything. That's who we are.
I just wanted to check in on him, you know?
Make sure that he knows his rights and responsibilities
vis-à-vis, you know.
That's not nice, Ern.
What-- She's unstable, Greta. I mean, she's got a lot on her shoulders.
I wanna make sure that Danny's able to come in if he needs to.
Hey! She doesn't need him, or you, to believe in her.
So she's God now?
I'm sorry, I don't see it.
Where you going?
I'm gonna go masturbate on the bidet. Please don't be here when I'm done.
He said it was "par for the course." Whatever that means.
It's a term from golf, referring to the average number of shots.
Jerod, I don't care what it means in golf. I care what it means to me.
I'm sorry. What are you asking?
I'm asking how he just assumes that he's gonna get away with this?
California is a community property state,
and the business is considered community property
acquired after the marriage.
So, in all likelihood, he can and will retain rights as an owner of the business.
So, I'm--
I'm out of options here.
Your legal options are limited.
What about my illegal options?
That was supposed to be a joke.
I can't advise you to do anything illegal or improper.
That would be a violation of my duties as your attorney.
This is not about a piece of plastic.
Although, as pieces of plastic go,
I think we developed a pretty damn good one!
This is about a dream of mine coming true.
All due to the support of some incredible people,
but one person in particular.
-That's right, Greta. -Oh, no, no.
-Please, take a little bow. -Yes!
Come on. Everyone, give her a hand!
It took hard work and dedication to get us here,
and I want to acknowledge that.
And thank you. Thank you.
When the Step Up workout is a big hit,
and I know it will be,
we're gonna build off of that sturdy base.
Fitness is just the beginning.
A lifestyle brand. That's the big dream.
You know, exercise was a gateway for me.
It woke me up from years of bad self-talk and low self-worth.
It taught me to embrace my strength and my power.
And we are going to spread that exercise gospel around the world.
Okay, we'll start with the SoCal region, but then, who knows?
Global domination? Absolutely.
-Yeah. That sounds good. -Why not?
Anyway, enough of me talking. Thank you for coming.
Enjoy the evening, and here's to the future.
-Cheers. -Yes!
-To Sheila! -Cheers.
Fidelia, can you do the music?
-Hey, sweetie. -Hey.
Hey.
You guys are back early. Back a day early.
Yeah. Well, you know, she wasn't ready for a sleepover, it turns out.
After I put the bunk bed together all day.
But it's fine. She'll get there.
That's okay, sweetie. You wanna go get in bed, and I'll tuck you in?
-Yeah. -Okay.
Celebrating the big step? Huh? The big innovation?
Company party. Probably on the company expense account, I assume.
-It's none of your business. -Well, it's actually half my business.
Well, although, from what I'm hearing from Terry,
you're gonna make noise about it, which isn't gonna work, Sheila.
Danny, what's the point? Are you trying to get back in my life?
Because that's not gonna work either.
Everything okay here? Do you need something, Danny?
I'll do a tequila, rocks, lime.
You guys ever heard of Kelly Kilmartin?
Everyone's heard of Kelly Kilmartin.
-What? Who? -She's a sitcom actress.
Yeah. She's on Trish out of Water, and before that, she was on Bet the Farm.
-My mom and I love her. -Everyone loves her.
I'm sorry. Why are we talking about this?
Well, I'm surprised you don't know after all the hard work you've been doing.
It's on channel 3. After the eleven o'clock news.
You can jump, kick, squat or even dance on it.
Don't worry. It can take it.
It's nice and squishy in all the right places,
but good and solid where it counts.
So you can get a tough workout that's gentle on your body.
Won't you join me and step your way up to a sexy new you?
It's never been easier to start.
Call now to take advantage of this special offer.
Our operators are standing by waiting to take your call.
Did you really think you were gonna pull this off?
Launching a business? No, I'm sorry, a lifestyle brand?
Let's face it. You don't know what the hell you're doing.
Thinking about calling that freak from rehab?
That ought to cheer you up, but it won't change a goddamn thing
about the way the world works.
That blonde bimbo beat you to the punch.
She's younger and prettier and smarter, and she's gonna win.
And she deserves to.
-Because you're stupid and lazy and fat. -The beta.
-You, fat, old, flabby, saggy fuck! -Entitled to half.
But it's not over. Not yet. Not if you do what you have to do.
Take control of the situation. Make a fucking plan and stick to it.
With a little effort and focus, you can get this shit back on track.
Before it's too fucking late.
No. You can't be here. I have an appointment. Imminently.
Yeah, with the Planning Department of the city of San Diego.
You need to leave right now.
You're an asshole.
You pretend to be this upstanding, good, kind Mormon man,
and really, you're just a stone-cold piece of shit.
I'm not gonna stand here and be insulted in my place of--
Pretending you deserve all of this success
because you wake up earlier and work harder than everybody.
But we both know it's because you lied and bribed,
and you just intimidated your way up every rung of the ladder.
And really, you're just a lying, vain, hypocritical asshole
motivated by greed, and running from pain and fear.
I'm not gonna stand here and listen--
And I love you despite all that.
Maybe because of it.
Now you've got him. And in for the kill.
I need your help.
No, I want your help.
I have an adversary. Two of them.
And I'm tired of playing defense.
So what's your goal?
Reciprocity or retribution?
Annihilation.