1
00:00:03,045 --> 00:00:07,049
There you go, three more reps.
And three, two, one.

2
00:00:07,094 --> 00:00:08,051
[laughing]:
Yeah.

3
00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:09,400
Hell yeah!

4
00:00:09,444 --> 00:00:11,314
Go ahead, shake it out.

5
00:00:13,055 --> 00:00:16,538
[phone rings]

6
00:00:16,580 --> 00:00:19,496
Oh, hey, Dr. Pete.
How is Ghana?

7
00:00:19,541 --> 00:00:21,021
[turns TV off]

8
00:00:21,064 --> 00:00:23,457
Oh, yeah, Cannoli's great.

9
00:00:23,501 --> 00:00:25,503
You've been getting
the videos, right?

10
00:00:25,547 --> 00:00:27,417
Hey, that's my work loafer.

11
00:00:27,461 --> 00:00:31,466
GINA:
Wednesday? Wow. Okay.

12
00:00:31,509 --> 00:00:34,555
Yeah, I'll have him ready
for you.

13
00:00:34,598 --> 00:00:35,469
Okay, I will see you then.

14
00:00:35,512 --> 00:00:37,646
Stupid dog bones are everywhere.

15
00:00:37,689 --> 00:00:39,039
Are you okay, Cannoli?

16
00:00:39,082 --> 00:00:40,823
I'm fine, thanks.

17
00:00:40,865 --> 00:00:43,521
Heads up...

18
00:00:43,564 --> 00:00:45,740
you may find a tassel
in his poop.

19
00:00:45,783 --> 00:00:49,613
You mean Dr. Pete's gonna find
a tassel in his poop.

20
00:00:49,658 --> 00:00:50,963
Who's Dr. Pete?

21
00:00:51,006 --> 00:00:52,616
Cannoli's owner.

22
00:00:52,661 --> 00:00:54,531
I was watching him while
he was working in Ghana.

23
00:00:54,576 --> 00:00:56,490
Ghana? How do you know
this guy?

24
00:00:56,533 --> 00:00:58,884
Oh, a friend of a friend.What friend?

25
00:00:58,927 --> 00:01:01,973
Well, that friend was kind of
a friend of a different friend.

26
00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:04,237
Somewhere in the chain
there's a Leslie.

27
00:01:04,281 --> 00:01:07,415
Anyway, he's finished
his volunteer work,

28
00:01:07,457 --> 00:01:10,591
so he's coming back home,
and now he wants his dog back.

29
00:01:10,635 --> 00:01:12,507
How am I gonna give him up?

30
00:01:12,549 --> 00:01:14,856
He's so dumb and cute.

31
00:01:14,900 --> 00:01:17,641
If he was a guy,
I would totally date him.

32
00:01:17,686 --> 00:01:20,254
So, how do you plan on spending
your last few days together?

33
00:01:20,296 --> 00:01:22,125
One special last meal?

34
00:01:22,168 --> 00:01:25,171
My other loafer, perhaps?

35
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,825
Actually, he also hired me to
train Cannoli while he was gone.

36
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:32,091
So I have three days
to finish...

37
00:01:32,134 --> 00:01:34,746
and start.

38
00:01:34,789 --> 00:01:37,662
♪ The more you give ♪ The more you give♪

39
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,621
♪ The more you live ♪ The more you live♪

40
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:42,884
♪ Your happiness is relative ♪ Happiness♪

41
00:01:42,927 --> 00:01:46,235
♪ But if you're feeling
like crap ♪

42
00:01:46,280 --> 00:01:47,802
♪ It's time to face the fact

43
00:01:47,846 --> 00:01:49,543
♪ It's your prerogative

44
00:01:49,587 --> 00:01:51,980
♪ Your prerogative♪

45
00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,200
♪ To be positive.

46
00:02:02,513 --> 00:02:04,558
Okay, Cannoli... roll over.

47
00:02:05,733 --> 00:02:08,997
Okay, I am establishing...
watch me.

48
00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:11,740
I am establishing dominance.

49
00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:15,657
All right. Roll over!

50
00:02:15,699 --> 00:02:18,703
Oh, come on, Cannoli, you just,
you do it like this.

51
00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,182
You go roll over!

52
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,533
And roll over!

53
00:02:22,576 --> 00:02:23,838
I don't know about Cannoli,

54
00:02:23,882 --> 00:02:26,014
but you're ready
for Westminster.

55
00:02:26,057 --> 00:02:29,149
Dominance established.

56
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:36,591
Okay, bye.
Great training session.

57
00:02:36,634 --> 00:02:40,203
I know it's not his hearing
because he goes crazy

58
00:02:40,247 --> 00:02:42,162
every time I say the word
[whispers]: "walk."

59
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:45,513
It's the reason that I can't
make Chinese food.

60
00:02:45,555 --> 00:02:47,514
So... what are you
gonna do?

61
00:02:47,557 --> 00:02:50,822
I don't know.
Dr. Pete comes home tomorrow.

62
00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:55,218
Will you help me, Drew?

63
00:02:55,262 --> 00:02:57,915
No, I can't,
because this afternoon

64
00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:01,658
I am taking Maddie to feed
the ducks at the pond.

65
00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:04,705
Wow, duck pond with Dad.

66
00:03:04,748 --> 00:03:07,709
You really know
what teenage girls like.

67
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:10,058
It's our tradition.

68
00:03:10,102 --> 00:03:11,712
It started
when she was a baby.

69
00:03:11,756 --> 00:03:14,497
You have never seen someone
so excited to see ducks.

70
00:03:14,542 --> 00:03:16,848
And now we go back every year,
we get ice cream,

71
00:03:16,891 --> 00:03:18,372
we take a photo.

72
00:03:18,414 --> 00:03:20,852
Except for the time that
I was attacked by a rogue swan.

73
00:03:20,896 --> 00:03:22,331
Ironically,
Maddie couldn't help,

74
00:03:22,376 --> 00:03:25,552
because she was too busy playing
Angry Birds.

75
00:03:25,596 --> 00:03:27,467
That's actually very sweet.

76
00:03:27,510 --> 00:03:29,513
My mom used to take me
to the park

77
00:03:29,556 --> 00:03:31,688
where she would meet
her weed dealer.

78
00:03:31,733 --> 00:03:33,777
There weren't any
swans, but...

79
00:03:33,822 --> 00:03:36,867
I did see a rat eating a pizza.

80
00:03:37,781 --> 00:03:39,043
Oh, hey, girl.

81
00:03:39,087 --> 00:03:40,698
Hi.Hey, there she is.

82
00:03:40,741 --> 00:03:42,046
You ready for the duck pond?

83
00:03:42,091 --> 00:03:44,006
Oh, sorry, I forgot about that.

84
00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:45,747
My friend Bella's
on her way over.

85
00:03:45,789 --> 00:03:47,270
But the ducks are back.

86
00:03:48,575 --> 00:03:52,100
That's cool. Do we have
to be back withthem?

87
00:03:52,144 --> 00:03:54,146
Well, yeah, it's our tradition.

88
00:03:54,189 --> 00:03:56,018
Maybe we can start
a new tradition.

89
00:03:56,061 --> 00:03:58,324
Like, I hang out with my
friends, and you leave us alone.

90
00:03:58,367 --> 00:04:01,937
[mock gasp]
We could make that
a weekly thing.

91
00:04:03,199 --> 00:04:04,808
You okay?

92
00:04:04,853 --> 00:04:06,332
Yeah.

93
00:04:06,376 --> 00:04:08,377
I'm just gonna go for a walk.

94
00:04:10,293 --> 00:04:11,251
A-Alone.

95
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:12,338
Alone.

96
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:17,430
Check this out.

97
00:04:17,473 --> 00:04:19,824
Whoa, that is
so much beer.

98
00:04:19,867 --> 00:04:22,565
You're going to be so popular.

99
00:04:22,610 --> 00:04:24,786
Gina brews it.
She sells it at 7-Eleven.

100
00:04:24,829 --> 00:04:26,744
Well, behind 7-Eleven.

101
00:04:29,093 --> 00:04:30,661
Are you sure about this?

102
00:04:30,704 --> 00:04:32,053
If I get caught,
I'll blame it

103
00:04:32,096 --> 00:04:34,795
on the meds I have to take
because of the divorce.

104
00:04:34,838 --> 00:04:36,014
You're a genius.

105
00:04:36,057 --> 00:04:37,668
How are you getting a "D"
in biology?

106
00:04:37,711 --> 00:04:39,713
I'm not getting a "D."
Chloe's getting a "D."

107
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:41,716
I just copied off of her.

108
00:04:41,759 --> 00:04:43,673
This is awful.

109
00:04:43,718 --> 00:04:44,805
It's a fancy beer.

110
00:04:44,848 --> 00:04:46,721
That's how you know it's good.

111
00:04:46,764 --> 00:04:48,331
Oh, hey, guys.

112
00:04:48,375 --> 00:04:50,637
I didn't know
that you were...

113
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:51,769
Uh...

114
00:04:51,812 --> 00:04:53,858
are you drinking my beer?

115
00:04:53,901 --> 00:04:56,207
We were just trying it.
It's so good.

116
00:04:56,252 --> 00:04:59,689
Really? Because this time I put
orange peel in the final stage,

117
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:00,951
but... [gasps]

118
00:05:00,995 --> 00:05:03,694
Oh, no! That doesn't matter
because you're 13!

119
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,043
Give me those!

120
00:05:05,086 --> 00:05:07,829
You're not gonna
tell my dad, right?

121
00:05:07,872 --> 00:05:09,177
Yes, I'm going to tell him.

122
00:05:09,221 --> 00:05:10,353
I think.

123
00:05:10,396 --> 00:05:11,658
I don't know!

124
00:05:11,701 --> 00:05:13,574
Oh, why couldn't
I have gotten into making bread?

125
00:05:13,617 --> 00:05:16,620
The yeast was
right next to the hops.

126
00:05:16,663 --> 00:05:18,709
Hey, those are
really cute earrings.

127
00:05:18,752 --> 00:05:19,884
Where'd you get 'em?

128
00:05:19,927 --> 00:05:22,713
Oh, Bella.
I invented that game.

129
00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:25,367
You're trying to play pickup
with LeBron.

130
00:05:25,411 --> 00:05:26,803
Come on, don't
tell my dad.

131
00:05:26,848 --> 00:05:28,197
You're cool, right?

132
00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:29,502
Obviously I'm cool.

133
00:05:29,545 --> 00:05:32,418
Three out of five Foo Fighters
said so.

134
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:35,596
The Foo who?

135
00:05:35,639 --> 00:05:36,726
Okay, Bella, you go home.

136
00:05:36,771 --> 00:05:39,338
And you, young lady,
you go to your room.

137
00:05:40,470 --> 00:05:42,951
Do you hear
what you've turned me into?

138
00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:44,560
An actual grown-up!

139
00:05:44,605 --> 00:05:47,781
What's next,
I start wearing a beige bra?

140
00:05:50,610 --> 00:05:52,177
It was just beer.

141
00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:53,613
I don't see what's so bad,

142
00:05:53,656 --> 00:05:56,007
unless they were drinking
out of a meth straw.

143
00:05:57,487 --> 00:05:59,533
Maddie's only 13.

144
00:05:59,576 --> 00:06:01,838
So tell her to put it
in a sippy cup.

145
00:06:01,882 --> 00:06:03,319
Remember

146
00:06:03,362 --> 00:06:05,408
what we were doing
when we were 13?

147
00:06:05,451 --> 00:06:06,800
No, I don't.

148
00:06:06,843 --> 00:06:09,237
And that's my point.

149
00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:11,370
So you're gonna narc on her?

150
00:06:11,413 --> 00:06:12,762
I never thought

151
00:06:12,807 --> 00:06:16,288
I'd see the day
you sided with "the man."

152
00:06:16,331 --> 00:06:18,769
I really hate
to betray her trust,

153
00:06:18,812 --> 00:06:21,468
especially after she lent me
these really cute boots

154
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,904
that I plan on keeping.

155
00:06:23,947 --> 00:06:24,949
Hey.

156
00:06:24,992 --> 00:06:26,298
Hi.Hey, Drew.

157
00:06:26,341 --> 00:06:29,084
I'll see you later.

158
00:06:29,127 --> 00:06:31,346
Oh, Gabby.
You're starting early.

159
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,653
Not as early as some.

160
00:06:34,697 --> 00:06:37,353
She's not leaving
because of me, is she?

161
00:06:37,396 --> 00:06:38,963
Oh, no, nothing like that.

162
00:06:39,007 --> 00:06:42,139
She's just uncomfortable
around you.

163
00:06:42,183 --> 00:06:43,706
Um...

164
00:06:43,750 --> 00:06:48,363
but also because I kinda
have to tell you something.

165
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:49,451
Oh, God.

166
00:06:49,495 --> 00:06:51,454
What is it? Will I be upset?

167
00:06:51,497 --> 00:06:52,411
What-what do I need?

168
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,891
A chair? A lawyer?

169
00:06:53,935 --> 00:06:55,893
My eczema cream?Ugh,

170
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:57,286
I hate being caught
in the middle like this.

171
00:06:57,329 --> 00:07:00,071
Ooh, I definitely need my cream.
I'm flaring up.

172
00:07:01,115 --> 00:07:05,815
Okay. I caught Maddie and Bella
drinking beer in the garage.

173
00:07:05,860 --> 00:07:06,947
What?!But I'm pretty sure

174
00:07:06,990 --> 00:07:08,471
I handled it--
it's not a big deal.

175
00:07:08,514 --> 00:07:09,689
Not a big deal?

176
00:07:09,733 --> 00:07:11,865
Madeline?

177
00:07:11,908 --> 00:07:13,997
Oh, don't tell her it was me.
Pretend that there's a...

178
00:07:14,041 --> 00:07:16,435
a hidden camera in the garage.

179
00:07:16,478 --> 00:07:18,220
Were you drinking
beer with Bella?

180
00:07:19,439 --> 00:07:22,005
Wow. Thanks a lot.

181
00:07:22,050 --> 00:07:25,052
There's a camera
in the lawn mower.

182
00:07:25,096 --> 00:07:27,490
You're 13 years old.

183
00:07:27,533 --> 00:07:29,884
I only had a little bit,
and it was nasty.

184
00:07:29,927 --> 00:07:31,014
It's an acquired taste.

185
00:07:31,059 --> 00:07:33,191
I didn't like beer
till I was 15.

186
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:34,192
Not now, Gina.

187
00:07:34,235 --> 00:07:36,716
We're not pitching it to her.

188
00:07:37,891 --> 00:07:40,284
[knocking]

189
00:07:40,329 --> 00:07:42,853
Hey.

190
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:45,334
I, uh, made some dinner.

191
00:07:45,377 --> 00:07:46,901
And...

192
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:49,860
Maddie didn't finish this, so...

193
00:07:51,165 --> 00:07:52,601
Too soon?

194
00:07:53,516 --> 00:07:55,822
Um, how'd you leave it with her?

195
00:07:55,865 --> 00:07:57,389
Well, her mom and I grounded her

196
00:07:57,432 --> 00:07:59,521
and took away her phone
for two weeks.

197
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,132
Oh, I still don't know
if I should have told you.No, no,

198
00:08:02,177 --> 00:08:03,351
you did the right thing.

199
00:08:03,394 --> 00:08:05,093
You were the adult
in the situation.

200
00:08:05,136 --> 00:08:08,966
I just don't want Maddie
to go down the same path as me.

201
00:08:10,011 --> 00:08:13,057
First you start sneaking beers,
and the next thing you know,

202
00:08:13,100 --> 00:08:15,973
you're taking mystery pills
you found on the bathroom floor

203
00:08:16,016 --> 00:08:18,192
at a Nickelback concert.

204
00:08:18,235 --> 00:08:21,588
Oh, you are definitely making me
feel better. Thank you.

205
00:08:21,630 --> 00:08:22,937
I'm sorry.

206
00:08:22,980 --> 00:08:26,113
She's so much smarter than me
at that age.

207
00:08:26,156 --> 00:08:28,202
[sighs]
It used to be so much easier.

208
00:08:28,245 --> 00:08:31,249
I mean, any problem could
be solved with a juice box

209
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:33,903
or a Hello Kitty Band-Aid.

210
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,602
Now I can't even say hello
without getting an eye roll.

211
00:08:37,647 --> 00:08:39,779
Is that you guys
at the duck pond?

212
00:08:39,822 --> 00:08:41,695
Yeah. She was four years old.

213
00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:43,086
She named all the ducks.

214
00:08:43,130 --> 00:08:45,828
Uh, Quackie, Quack,

215
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:49,224
Dr. Quack-- he went to
medical school, I guess--

216
00:08:49,267 --> 00:08:51,095
and Obama.

217
00:08:51,139 --> 00:08:53,140
Oh, look at her
looking at you.

218
00:08:53,183 --> 00:08:55,360
That is a kid
who loves her dad.

219
00:08:55,403 --> 00:08:57,841
Yeah. Where'd that kid go?

220
00:08:57,884 --> 00:08:59,668
She's gonna be okay.

221
00:08:59,712 --> 00:09:02,932
She's got two parents
who love her and care about her.

222
00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,934
It's just... it's
hard to believe

223
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,894
that that kid
at the duck pond

224
00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:09,984
is the same one that's
drinking beer in my garage.

225
00:09:10,027 --> 00:09:11,855
Ugh. Don't sweat it.

226
00:09:11,899 --> 00:09:15,119
In a few years, she'll be
drinking atthe duck pond.

227
00:09:16,163 --> 00:09:17,947
I know that
it's hard, but...

228
00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:20,690
she's becoming her own person.

229
00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,518
She's growing up.

230
00:09:27,653 --> 00:09:30,787
Oh, Cannoli, oh, you
can't be up here.

231
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:32,397
No...

232
00:09:32,441 --> 00:09:34,095
[sighs]

233
00:09:35,662 --> 00:09:37,097
All right.

234
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:41,363
Hey.

235
00:09:41,405 --> 00:09:43,712
Dr. Pete's gonna be here
in, like, an hour.

236
00:09:43,756 --> 00:09:44,932
What's he doing

237
00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:46,802
with your loafer?Well, he gave me

238
00:09:46,846 --> 00:09:49,110
his squeaky hamburger--
I had to reciprocate.

239
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:50,327
[squeaking]

240
00:09:50,371 --> 00:09:51,328
Oh...

241
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:54,942
[singsongy]:
you like Cannoli.

242
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:57,770
Okay, I admit, he grows on you.

243
00:09:57,813 --> 00:09:59,642
Plus, he's so
warm and cuddly.

244
00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:02,340
I mean, last night I didn't
even have to wear my flannels.

245
00:10:03,384 --> 00:10:04,604
Okay,

246
00:10:04,647 --> 00:10:06,649
I made us
this photo album

247
00:10:06,692 --> 00:10:09,783
of Cannoli, so we
will always remember him.

248
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:11,480
Aw, that's sweet.

249
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:14,525
It's hard to see someone
you love move on.

250
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:18,879
So, this is him
dressed as the pope

251
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,270
for Halloween.

252
00:10:20,315 --> 00:10:22,621
And here he is on a date
with the neighbor's collie.

253
00:10:22,664 --> 00:10:24,057
Mm.

254
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,668
Sorry, we didn't think she'd
mind you were neutered.

255
00:10:26,712 --> 00:10:28,278
[laughs]

256
00:10:28,322 --> 00:10:29,411
Aw.

257
00:10:29,453 --> 00:10:30,586
Hey...

258
00:10:30,629 --> 00:10:32,153
do you think
we have time

259
00:10:32,196 --> 00:10:33,980
for one last trip
to the dog park?

260
00:10:34,024 --> 00:10:36,157
Yeah, sure.

261
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:38,072
Ooh, but if the neighbor's
collie is there,

262
00:10:38,115 --> 00:10:40,856
we're gonna ice that bitch out.

263
00:10:44,730 --> 00:10:46,297
You were supposed
to take a left there.

264
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:48,125
Oh, we're not going
to the dog park.

265
00:10:48,168 --> 00:10:49,692
Why? Where are we going?

266
00:10:49,735 --> 00:10:50,998
This is a jailbreak, baby.

267
00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:52,346
What?
Yeah.

268
00:10:52,389 --> 00:10:54,043
We're not letting anybody
take this guy away.

269
00:10:54,087 --> 00:10:55,567
We're dognapping him.

270
00:11:02,182 --> 00:11:04,010
You're serious?
We're stealing Cannoli?

271
00:11:04,053 --> 00:11:05,576
Oh, yeah. It's on.
He's our dog now.

272
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:07,667
But-but he's got to go back.

273
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:12,105
Why? What kind of selfish jerk
abandons his dog for six months?

274
00:11:12,149 --> 00:11:14,107
The kind of selfish jerk
who helps orphans in Ghana

275
00:11:14,150 --> 00:11:16,153
smile again
after cleft palate surgery.

276
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,198
Oh, please. I bet
he leads with that

277
00:11:18,241 --> 00:11:20,767
at singles bars
all over Africa.

278
00:11:20,809 --> 00:11:22,072
Look at him.

279
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,509
He's attached to us.
We're his real family.

280
00:11:24,552 --> 00:11:26,773
Well, so is Dr. Pete.

281
00:11:26,816 --> 00:11:28,121
Oh, come on. Are you telling me
Cannoli would choose Dr. Pete

282
00:11:28,164 --> 00:11:30,080
over us?Of course not.

283
00:11:30,124 --> 00:11:32,212
I read The Very Hungry
Caterpillarto him every night,

284
00:11:32,255 --> 00:11:34,128
but I would change it
to The Very Hungry Cannoli.

285
00:11:34,171 --> 00:11:35,563
He can't read.

286
00:11:35,606 --> 00:11:37,217
We have to do
what's best

287
00:11:37,260 --> 00:11:39,786
for the dog,
and that is keeping him with us.

288
00:11:39,828 --> 00:11:40,874
[exhales]
I don't know.

289
00:11:40,917 --> 00:11:42,178
You're the person who loves him

290
00:11:42,222 --> 00:11:45,008
most in the world;
he should be with you.

291
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:47,183
Oh, see? And you
know that's genuine

292
00:11:47,227 --> 00:11:49,230
because he's very
poorly trained.

293
00:11:49,273 --> 00:11:52,101
I do hate the thought
of saying goodbye.

294
00:11:52,145 --> 00:11:55,149
Exactly. Okay, look, we are done
playing by the rules.

295
00:11:55,192 --> 00:11:56,323
Okay.Here's the plan.

296
00:11:56,366 --> 00:11:59,109
We disappear, we
go off the grid.

297
00:11:59,153 --> 00:12:01,154
We go from town to town,
we mix it up with the locals,

298
00:12:01,197 --> 00:12:02,721
maybe solve some
of their problems

299
00:12:02,764 --> 00:12:05,288
along the way, and
then we move on.

300
00:12:05,332 --> 00:12:08,205
Granted, I am basing this a lot
on The Incredible Hulk.

301
00:12:08,249 --> 00:12:09,946
Maybe we keep spitballing?

302
00:12:09,990 --> 00:12:11,294
Sure. Yep. No bad ideas.

303
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:12,905
Uh... Got it.

304
00:12:12,948 --> 00:12:15,559
We find someone to take Cannoli
for a few weeks,

305
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:18,738
and then we tell Dr. Pete
that he ran away.

306
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,696
We slap up some
posters, and then,

307
00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:23,480
when the coast is clear,
we happen to adopt a dog

308
00:12:23,524 --> 00:12:25,831
that looks just like him. Yes!

309
00:12:25,875 --> 00:12:28,748
Ooh, and for the poster,
I can use a picture of Cannoli

310
00:12:28,791 --> 00:12:30,357
from his quinceañera.

311
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:32,663
I don't have to tell you
it was pirate-themed.

312
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:37,538
Hey, everybody, keep your
calendars clear for the 29th.

313
00:12:37,581 --> 00:12:39,062
No.

314
00:12:40,106 --> 00:12:42,239
Because I'm playing
Abraham Lincoln

315
00:12:42,283 --> 00:12:45,154
in a one-man show
at the New Haven VFW.

316
00:12:45,198 --> 00:12:47,157
That's a great venue.
I got married there.

317
00:12:47,201 --> 00:12:49,376
Hope it works out
better for you.

318
00:12:50,552 --> 00:12:51,770
You're playing Abraham Lincoln?

319
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,599
Are you gonna free yourself
at the end?

320
00:12:54,643 --> 00:12:57,080
It's like Hamilton,
it's a reimagination.

321
00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:58,428
You should get one.

322
00:12:59,429 --> 00:13:00,605
Okay, guys, listen up.

323
00:13:00,649 --> 00:13:02,259
Uh-uh. What are you doing?

324
00:13:02,302 --> 00:13:03,390
You can't bring a dog in here.

325
00:13:03,433 --> 00:13:05,567
A dog? Get that filthy,

326
00:13:05,610 --> 00:13:08,395
slobbering thing--
oh, aren't you cute?

327
00:13:08,438 --> 00:13:09,831
Are you giving out kisses?

328
00:13:09,875 --> 00:13:11,225
[gibbering]

329
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:13,793
Oh, this is kind
of an emergency.

330
00:13:13,836 --> 00:13:15,794
Yeah. We-we just need
someone to take Cannoli

331
00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,057
for a f-few weeks.

332
00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:18,754
Samantha, what do you think?
Can you take him?

333
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:22,192
I don't let my mother stay
with me, so what do you think?

334
00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:24,977
Jerry, what about you?

335
00:13:25,020 --> 00:13:27,197
Uh, sorry, I couldn't do that
to my hamsters.

336
00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,025
Say no more.It's just that they're
so sensitive, and I...

337
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,461
She said, "Say no more."

338
00:13:32,985 --> 00:13:34,116
I'd love to take him,
but my building

339
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:35,639
doesn't allow dogs.

340
00:13:35,683 --> 00:13:37,163
You own your own house.

341
00:13:37,206 --> 00:13:38,904
I said what I said.

342
00:13:40,036 --> 00:13:41,515
Come on, you guys.
Somebody step up.

343
00:13:41,558 --> 00:13:42,778
We're gonna lose him.

344
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,692
Lose him?
What are you talking about?

345
00:13:44,735 --> 00:13:46,607
Well, Cannoli's "owner"
wants him back,

346
00:13:46,650 --> 00:13:48,827
and we cannot let that happen.

347
00:13:48,870 --> 00:13:50,177
When you say "owner,"
do you mean

348
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:52,004
the person the dog belongs to?

349
00:13:52,048 --> 00:13:54,094
Technically, yes, but we've been

350
00:13:54,136 --> 00:13:56,573
looking after him now
and we love him.

351
00:13:56,618 --> 00:13:58,793
I bet his owner doesn't even
know what his favorite song is.

352
00:13:58,837 --> 00:14:00,143
It's "Hotline Bling."

353
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:01,971
But he's not yours.

354
00:14:02,014 --> 00:14:04,104
This is a bad idea.

355
00:14:04,147 --> 00:14:07,585
Yeah, no one's gonna help you
commit some crazy dognapping.

356
00:14:07,629 --> 00:14:08,629
How do you think
his owner feels?

357
00:14:08,673 --> 00:14:10,197
I'm sure he misses his own dog.

358
00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,024
Oh, who cares, Jerry?

359
00:14:11,067 --> 00:14:12,590
[overlapping yelling]

360
00:14:15,158 --> 00:14:17,899
Everybody settle down!

361
00:14:17,943 --> 00:14:19,553
A dialysis center

362
00:14:19,596 --> 00:14:24,341
divided against itself
cannot stand!

363
00:14:24,384 --> 00:14:28,171
Wow. Thanks, George Washington.

364
00:14:29,780 --> 00:14:32,523
Drew, I think they're right.

365
00:14:32,567 --> 00:14:35,308
Just because we love him
doesn't make him ours.

366
00:14:35,351 --> 00:14:37,136
You, too?

367
00:14:37,179 --> 00:14:39,835
I have a dental
convention next month.

368
00:14:39,879 --> 00:14:41,706
You could watch
my two hamsters...

369
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:43,186
No more.

370
00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,972
I think that we're doing
the right thing,

371
00:14:47,015 --> 00:14:48,148
giving Cannoli back.

372
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:49,365
I know, I know.

373
00:14:49,409 --> 00:14:50,759
You can call
Dr. Pete and tell him

374
00:14:50,802 --> 00:14:52,107
we'll bring him back right now.

375
00:14:53,109 --> 00:14:56,243
[tapping]Get on up.

376
00:14:56,286 --> 00:14:57,504
[groans] It's not
gonna be the same

377
00:14:57,548 --> 00:14:59,332
without you, big guy.

378
00:14:59,375 --> 00:15:01,116
I'm gonna miss your cuddles.

379
00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:04,642
And I'll never find another dog
to be the big spoon.

380
00:15:07,471 --> 00:15:09,255
[trunk door closes]You're one of them.

381
00:15:09,298 --> 00:15:11,039
I'll see you in hell!

382
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:13,042
[tires screeching]Drew!

383
00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:15,217
Cannoli!

384
00:15:16,350 --> 00:15:19,482
Drew, pick up.
Where the hell are you?

385
00:15:19,527 --> 00:15:22,051
I can't keep making excuses
to Dr. Pete.

386
00:15:22,095 --> 00:15:24,706
Oh, by the way, I told him
that I'm at your funeral,

387
00:15:24,749 --> 00:15:27,317
so if he comes by,

388
00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:30,190
I don't know, play dead?

389
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:32,713
Still not answering, huh?

390
00:15:32,756 --> 00:15:33,758
Nope.

391
00:15:33,802 --> 00:15:35,629
Okay, that's "conquer."

392
00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:40,721
28 points because the "Q"
landed on a double-letter.

393
00:15:40,764 --> 00:15:43,289
Ugh, I liked Drew a lot better
when he followed the rules.

394
00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:47,120
"Preconquer."

395
00:15:47,163 --> 00:15:52,125
Ooh, it's a double-word score,
so, uh, 44.

396
00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:55,040
Yeah, well, "preconquer"
is not a word.

397
00:15:55,084 --> 00:15:57,739
It's what you do
before you conquer.

398
00:15:57,782 --> 00:15:58,783
Like the stretches

399
00:15:58,826 --> 00:16:00,001
and the knee bends.

400
00:16:00,046 --> 00:16:03,571
And then, boom,
you're conquering.

401
00:16:05,702 --> 00:16:08,140
What the hell
are you talking about?

402
00:16:08,183 --> 00:16:10,186
Try again.

403
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:13,014
I don't get it. Drew's
obsessed with keeping Cannoli,

404
00:16:13,058 --> 00:16:15,322
but the dog was such
a pain to him before.

405
00:16:15,365 --> 00:16:17,236
Yeah. Could be one
of those situations

406
00:16:17,279 --> 00:16:21,197
where you don't appreciate what
you had till they take it away.

407
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:24,591
Same thing happened
with my car keys.

408
00:16:24,634 --> 00:16:26,898
Before yesterday, he wouldn't
even say Cannoli's name.

409
00:16:26,942 --> 00:16:30,336
He just referred to him
as "the dirty white Wookiee."

410
00:16:30,379 --> 00:16:32,426
Maybe it's not about the dog.

411
00:16:32,469 --> 00:16:34,557
Maybe it's transference.

412
00:16:34,601 --> 00:16:36,821
What are you talking about?

413
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:40,825
You put your feelings about one
thing onto something else.

414
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,261
Like when you punch

415
00:16:42,304 --> 00:16:43,437
a hole in the wall.

416
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,047
You're not mad at the wall,

417
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:48,485
you're mad because
they took away your car keys.

418
00:16:49,485 --> 00:16:51,052
Yeah.

419
00:16:51,096 --> 00:16:53,794
Or when the bartender
tells me I've had enough,

420
00:16:53,837 --> 00:16:57,277
and then I have sex
with the bouncer.

421
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,322
Transference.

422
00:17:00,932 --> 00:17:02,890
"Misconquer."

423
00:17:02,933 --> 00:17:04,761
It's when you go
to conquer one village

424
00:17:04,806 --> 00:17:08,505
and you accidentally conquer
the village next door.

425
00:17:08,548 --> 00:17:10,246
It's a misconquer.

426
00:17:11,334 --> 00:17:13,162
Okay, you play that.

427
00:17:13,205 --> 00:17:15,208
I have a wall to punch.

428
00:17:17,992 --> 00:17:20,473
What? Don't look at me
like that.

429
00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:23,085
Maybe you shouldn't have
finished yours so quick.

430
00:17:24,259 --> 00:17:25,566
Okay, here.

431
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:28,176
Enjoy.

432
00:17:30,875 --> 00:17:32,615
Hey.

433
00:17:32,660 --> 00:17:33,703
You found me.

434
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:35,315
You make a pretty bad fugitive.

435
00:17:35,357 --> 00:17:37,011
If you're gonna go on the lam
with a giant sheepdog,

436
00:17:37,056 --> 00:17:39,101
at least put
a hat and glasses on him.

437
00:17:40,232 --> 00:17:41,451
You okay?

438
00:17:43,452 --> 00:17:45,193
The ducks haven't come back.

439
00:17:45,238 --> 00:17:48,414
Well, maybe they're coming later
because of climate change.

440
00:17:48,458 --> 00:17:51,069
Yeah, exactly.

441
00:17:51,113 --> 00:17:52,635
Even the climate's changing.

442
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:55,116
Can't one frickin' thing
in my life stay the same?

443
00:17:55,161 --> 00:17:57,163
[sighs]
I get it.

444
00:17:57,205 --> 00:18:00,165
Kidney, the divorce, now Maddie.

445
00:18:00,209 --> 00:18:01,384
It's a lot.

446
00:18:04,431 --> 00:18:06,693
See that rock over there?

447
00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:08,391
Maddie used
to climb to the top.

448
00:18:08,434 --> 00:18:11,263
She would spend hours
chasing the ducks around.

449
00:18:11,307 --> 00:18:12,961
And I spent hours watching her.

450
00:18:13,003 --> 00:18:15,310
Mm, that's adorable.

451
00:18:15,355 --> 00:18:16,529
Two minutes ago
she was this kid

452
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:18,749
in overalls who needed me
to tie her shoe,

453
00:18:18,792 --> 00:18:22,623
and now she's practically
halfway out the door.

454
00:18:22,665 --> 00:18:26,105
I know it's hard to lose
your little girl, but...

455
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:28,150
the good part is, you
get to see her change

456
00:18:28,193 --> 00:18:32,327
into this badass young woman
that you helped create.

457
00:18:32,372 --> 00:18:36,201
[sighs]
I want to slow it down.

458
00:18:36,244 --> 00:18:40,030
That's the thing. You can't.

459
00:18:40,075 --> 00:18:43,338
You have to embrace the
moments that you have,

460
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:45,427
not the ones that are gone.

461
00:18:46,516 --> 00:18:49,258
[sighs]

462
00:18:49,301 --> 00:18:52,218
I'm sorry I dognapped Cannoli.
That was crazy.

463
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:55,089
No, it was transference.

464
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,266
You know
what transference is?

465
00:18:57,309 --> 00:18:59,137
I know some stuff.

466
00:19:02,228 --> 00:19:04,185
Tell Dr. Pete that
we'll bring him home tonight.

467
00:19:06,144 --> 00:19:08,364
By the way,
how'd you know I'd be here?

468
00:19:08,407 --> 00:19:09,451
I didn't.

469
00:19:11,279 --> 00:19:14,065
So, are we doing
this stupid picture, or what?

470
00:19:14,108 --> 00:19:15,501
You sure?

471
00:19:15,545 --> 00:19:19,288
I mean, we do it every year,
don't we?

472
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:21,463
There are no ducks.

473
00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:23,291
I didn't come for the ducks.

474
00:19:25,207 --> 00:19:26,382
Plus, Mom said
if I took the picture,

475
00:19:26,425 --> 00:19:27,644
she'd give me my phone back.

476
00:19:35,739 --> 00:19:38,176
Hey, boy. It's me, Drew.
You remember me?

477
00:19:38,220 --> 00:19:39,874
Where's Gideon?

478
00:19:39,916 --> 00:19:41,788
Oh, he just stepped out.
He said he could be reached

479
00:19:41,832 --> 00:19:44,095
at his Gettysburg address.Ugh.

480
00:19:44,138 --> 00:19:47,621
Any more of that and I'm gonna
John Wilkes Booth myself.

481
00:19:48,622 --> 00:19:50,492
Oh, hey, boy. Can you hear me?

482
00:19:50,537 --> 00:19:51,885
Oh, over here.

483
00:19:51,929 --> 00:19:53,234
Oh...What are you doing?

484
00:19:53,278 --> 00:19:54,453
Well, uh, Dr. Pete

485
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:56,499
is letting me FaceTime
with Cannoli.

486
00:19:56,542 --> 00:19:57,673
FaceTiming with a dog?

487
00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:59,372
That is the dumbest thing
I've ever...

488
00:19:59,414 --> 00:20:01,112
Oh, he's so fluffy.

489
00:20:01,155 --> 00:20:02,853
Where's my fluffy wufferton?

490
00:20:02,896 --> 00:20:05,247
Oh, my God. Who are you?

491
00:20:05,290 --> 00:20:07,336
PETE:
Hey, I'm-I'm Pete Chakos.
I'm Cannoli's dad.

492
00:20:07,380 --> 00:20:08,771
He just walked off.

493
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:12,993
Ah, yes, yes, Dr. Pete,
the cleft palate surgeon.

494
00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:14,560
I'm-I'm Samantha Turner,

495
00:20:14,604 --> 00:20:15,910
a friend of Drew's.

496
00:20:15,952 --> 00:20:18,391
I didn't know Drew had
such attractive friends.

497
00:20:18,433 --> 00:20:21,915
I was just thinking
the same thing.

498
00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:24,048
Uh, excuse me,
that's my property.

499
00:20:24,092 --> 00:20:25,310
Up-bup-bup. So...

500
00:20:25,354 --> 00:20:26,747
a doctor.

501
00:20:26,789 --> 00:20:28,617
Do you have a-a practice
in the city?

502
00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:32,361
No, I travel around the world
helping children in need.

503
00:20:32,404 --> 00:20:35,145
Oh, that's so wonderful.

504
00:20:35,190 --> 00:20:38,627
Do you work for one of those
big, worldwide organizations?

505
00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:39,977
No, I'm on my own.

506
00:20:40,020 --> 00:20:42,893
One-man band.Oh. [chuckles]

507
00:20:42,936 --> 00:20:44,154
Well, you must be
pretty well-off

508
00:20:44,199 --> 00:20:45,853
to be flying
all over the world.

509
00:20:45,895 --> 00:20:48,811
Actually it's a lot
of scrimping and saving

510
00:20:48,855 --> 00:20:51,641
and relying on the goodwill
of others.

511
00:20:51,684 --> 00:21:00,432
Okay, I tried.

512
00:21:00,476 --> 00:21:03,479
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org