[narrator] This time on Master Distiller...
-Hail to the chief. -Hell, yeah.
At least two American Presidents were known distillers.
I cannot tell a lie.
And many more were famous for holding their liquor.
I'll have what he's having.
[belching]
But one commander in chief loved Georgia peach moonshine so much
that he campaigned on the repeal of Prohibition.
As liquor men, Franklin Delano Roosevelt has got to be everybody's favorite.
This'll knock the President's socks off.
Top notch Georgia peach brandy.
[Mark] Well, we hope so.
Now, three returning favorites will compete to make a peach brandy
worthy of the Presidential Seal of Approval.
Oh, that's it right there.
It don't get no better.
Josh, you ain't using a knife, are you?
No, I done cut that finger off.
[laughing]
I'm making a presidential decision. This is my jar right here.
This may be the best Georgia moonshine I've ever drank in my life.
Just so you know, we'll be the judge of that.
[laughing]
[exhaling, blowing raspberry]
[exhaling slowly]
[fife and drum play "America The Beautiful"]
[Mark] What's up, guys?
Fellas.
[Digger] Hey, now. About time y'all get here.
-[Howard] Well, you know. -Whoo!
All right, guys. Welcome to the most patriotic Master Distiller yet.
We've all got our favorite presidents, but as liquor men,
Franklin Delano Roosevelt has got to be everybody's favorite.
FDR repealed the Volstead Act, ending Prohibition, 1933.
But some people, or most people, don't know
that there was a liquor behind the scenes.
Now, Howard and I, we went down to South Georgia,
and we found out that FDR wasn't actually drinking moonshine.
He was drinking peach brandy.
Lemme introduce you to the 32nd President of the United States.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt.
I thought this man was gone.
Well, greetings, and welcome to Georgia.
-[all laughing] -You serious?
All right, guys. I brought you
some FDR-approved Georgia peach brandy.
This is gonna get you a starting point.
Pretty damn good.
That's really good.
[Mark] That's got a taste all its own.
I neither can confirm nor deny
this may be the best Georgia moonshine I ever drank in my life.
So even though you all brought your own peach flavors,
and different ways from different parts...
...we're still looking for this, something similar to this flavor, here.
We got this, boys.
Daggone right.
[Kelly laughing]
Three crooked politicians up here.
[all laughing]
Well, now you know where you need to be.
All right, guys. You brought your own mash to run this peach brandy.
You're gonna run it.
Then you're gonna pull some ingredients
to make us a Prohibition-style cocktail in honor of FDR.
You've heard all you're gonna hear from up here in the front.
You got four hours. Bring us a jar of peach brandy on this table
that's sure to turn a President's mind and change history.
Your four hours starts...
... now. Good luck, guys. Get with it.
[Howard] Four hours ain't a lotta time.
Gotta make some good peach shine.
Josh, you look the most patriotic out the bunch of ya, though, buddy.
I wear this shirt every day.
-[laughing] -I got about 15 of 'em.
[Mark] Your inventory's growing.
A while ago, you said you had eight of 'em.
-[all laughing] -No, I got between 10 and 15 of 'em.
I wear 'em every day.
[Howard] It fits the theme of the day, that's for certain.
My name's Josh Owens. I'm 45 years old.
I'm just a good old country boy from Columbus, North Carolina.
I'm a proud American. I'm proud of who I am, where I come from.
I don't know everything in the world there is to know about the presidents,
but I do know that a lotta presidents drank moonshine,
and a lotta presidents made moonshine.
I feel like it's my duty.
That's how peach... [smacks lips]
...mash supposed to smell and taste, Kelly.
That's the good stuff right there. If you wanna borrow some of mine, you can.
I'll give you a leg up in the competition.
I can tell you right now that's gonna be nasty.
Oh, that's what they always say, 'til they put their lips around the jar.
My name's Howard Thompson. I'm 44 years old.
I'm from Danville, Virginia.
To be here on Presidents' Day is a great honor of celebration.
I mean, I'm here with Tim, Tickle, Mark, Digger, Josh, Kelly.
All of us together to recreate something amazing from the history and the past.
This'll knock the President's socks off.
You know, we're here today to make some peach brandy.
That's up my wheelhouse.
I mean, everything I learned from FDR and the trail we took with Tim,
this is going to be a steal for me.
These boys better bring their competition.
There we go.
I went a little different this time with a little peach puree.
Makes it pop a little different.
I found some frozen peaches.
Those work good, too.
I'm Kelly Williamson from Cosby, Tennessee.
What an honor it is to be here today and making this recipe
in honor of the president who overturned Prohibition
and made it legal to make alcohol again in this country.
Brandy is not something that I work with a lot,
so this is gonna be a bit of a challenge for me.
I hope today I can elevate that game a little bit.
Oh. Mmm-hmm.
Howard, what are you doing?
I'ma charge this thumper up a little bit.
My mash done got hot, worked up a little bit, cooked off some of the heads.
Pour a little bit of this mash over in here,
that way I kick a little more flavor out the door.
We can call it the presidential punch.
[groaning]
[Digger] Josh? Enlighten us what you got going on over there.
Tell us about that mash pit.
[Josh] I just got a buncha damn peach juice, and made my mash out of peach juice.
I didn't have any pulp, I didn't have any peaches, I didn't have anything
but peach juice, sugar and yeast.
Proud of it?
I mean, for what we were working with.
[Kelly] How bad are these pots that scorch on the bottom?
What?
I ain't never scorched one yet.
I'm used to running with a core in a pot. Not this way.
You also used to strain it through a daggone pineapple,
so I mean, anything's possible with you, Kelly.
That's about enough out of you.
-[all laughing] -I mean, damn, son.
All of a sudden, you wanna be picky about how you run a still.
You know, a year or so ago, it was basically a flop.
Oh, you got your straw and everything.
[laughing]
Well, I will say one thing. That's unique.
That's pretty damn clever.
[coughing] That's damn hot.
[all laughing]
[Kelly] I really want to redeem myself to some degree,
and hopefully, I'm gonna come out of it with some pride
because I'm gonna make a better liquor than I did the last time.
Kelly, tell us about that mash pit.
Well, you know, brandy's never been something that I was real good at,
so we're just trying here with a little bit of play on our moonshine recipe.
Going into this run, I didn't know exactly what to expect.
But my mash was high in alcohol content, so I could get what I needed.
And I hope and pray that I can pull the flavor out of the tails,
and keep a high enough proof to make these guys happy.
You got this, Kelly.
[laughing]
I'm gonna knock it outta the park today.
This does feel like a presidential race right here.
I feel like us three candidates going up against each other.
I think that you already cheated with a leg up, going to Georgia with Tim.
-[all agreeing] -And getting a real Georgia brandy recipe.
I kinda learned a thing or two down there while I had the privilege.
Going with Tim to Georgia to learn about Franklin D. Roosevelt,
everything that goes into making a true peach brandy,
everything has to be sourced there.
It wasn't so much about the legacy of the president,
but the legacy of the ingredients that went into making a great peach brandy.
You know, unfortunately, here, today, I don't have those peaches,
because it's February, fellas. You know, the peaches ain't growing.
So I came up with the next best thing, a peach puree.
And I believe this peach puree will make any president happy, especially FDR.
[Mark] That's good.
All right, guys, you burned one hour. You got three left.
What are you, cleaning up your charcoal?
[laughing] Dang.
[Kelly] I'm gonna get mine tasting a little bit of charred.
I believe so.
Well, that's the wrong charred.
If you think I'm doing something special,
I'm just rinsing off the charcoal before I pour it in, to filter it.
All right. That's one way to do it.
-Only a dab'll do with that. -[laughing]
That's what you call blackened.
[laughing] Yeah.
Turn in a jar like that, Kelly.
[laughing]
I wondered how much longer you would keep stirring all that juice.
It ain't hot yet.
Dang, boys.
What kinda temperature you got going?
160.
Little above 160, 170.
How about you, Josh?
Well, I filled my still up to about right there.
[Howard] Oh, that's gonna take a little while to heat that one up.
So it's gonna take a little while for it to get hot.
Josh put 30 gallons in there.
-I filled mine up. -[all laughing]
You know Josh is gonna fill his up.
You gotta fill your still up.
I'm making liquor, boys.
That right there is gonna be the one right there. That is a good jar.
That's the first one coming out. It's only gonna get better.
I got liquor now.
Oh, yeah.
How the hell y'all already running liquor? I'm way behind.
-What kinda temperature you got going? -170.
How about you, Josh?
Well, I filled my still up to about...
...right there.
Oh, that's gonna take a while to heat that one up.
So it's gonna take a little while for it to get hot,
but I'm hot to the arm right here.
Far as a plan, I just, I wing it.
A, a lot of times I wing it. I'm kinda like the master of winging it.
[Josh] The heat's up.
Here, lemme get some, we'll drink some [bleep] out of it.
You know, every time I come in here, Howard, I fill the [bleep] vat full,
'cause that's the way I'm supposed to do it.
Yeah. [laughing]
I keep forgetting that we're on a time frame, we're in a hurry, you know?
[both laughing]
Guys, you burned two hours. You got two left.
Boys, this ain't how I normally make my peach brandy.
We use bushels of peaches to get our flavor.
-[both agreeing] -Exactly. And there's... bushel season's gone.
And you can't just use just any peaches.
[Howard] Uh-uh.
I mean, you get the seconds or whatever, the beat-up fruit, you know?
Yeah, which is actually the best fruit.
It's gotta be a fruit with a high sugar content in it.
If it's dried out, or it ain't juicy and it ain't got a lotta sugar in it,
you ain't gonna have no turnout.
I don't know. I mean, I think with the sugar content and the puree that I had,
the peach, peach blend I had...
...it came up good. I mean, it, it was a high alcohol proof, that's for certain.
Yeah, that's, I had a good high alcohol content,
but I just don't know what the flavor is gonna be.
I'm finally thumping.
-[still thumping] -[Howard] Oh, yeah. Now, we're dancing.
That's the presidential pop right there, boy.
Guess why they call it a thump keg.
-Yeah. -You guys wanna try a jar of real good.
This is really good.
[Howard] Lemme get a little nip of that.
It's got a, it's got a smell to it.
-[coughing] -[Josh] Yeah, she's stout.
That ain't, that ain't a bad jar, man.
I'm gonna give you a hard time, but really that's good peach brandy right there.
I mean, that is smooth.
I just wish I'da had a real peach I coulda hollowed out and run a straw through.
-[laughing] -[Josh] We do too, Kelly.
[all laughing]
It didn't work for pineapple. Surely, it might work for a peach.
[Howard] I mean, Kelly.
I hope you get it right with as many jars as you got there, old buddy.
I mean, my word.
It's all about choosing the right jar or the right mixture.
She finally started to run.
-Oh, yeah? -Oh, you got something coming?
Yeah.
[Howard] Man, I thought I was gonna have to give you a jar to turn in, old buddy.
[Digger] I notice Howard doing a little blend.
I'm very happy with the results.
I mean, I feel like I'm gonna have to do a little blending
to get that perfect jar for the judges,
because I got the proof there and I've got the taste.
It's just about making them two married,
and turning in the best presidential candidate.
I wanna try that there.
That's something old FDR'd be proud of.
[Howard] I got the jar right here.
I like to share the love.
Tell me what you think about that right there.
Tastes just like that [bleep] I made.
-[laughing] -Well, that's some good stuff you made, then.
I'm happy with it.
[laughing]
This is the presidential jar right here. This is the winner.
You busy over there autographing yours,
I'ma turn in the winner right now, Josh.
Kelly. Good luck.
[laughing] Good luck to you, brother.
Fellas, I hope you enjoy.
-That it? -That's a pretty good base spirit right here.
I think this will give us a good start to a great cocktail.
-[Mark] All right. -That'll work.
Here you go, guys. That's gonna be it.
Top notch Georgia peach brandy.
We hope so. Just so you know, we'll be the judge of that.
-Thank you, sir. -[all laughing]
Boys, I'm making a presidential decision. This is my jar right here.
-That's the one? -That's the one.
This is the jar right here, y'all.
[Mark] Bring it in here, brother.
All right. Go ahead and hit that box back yonder and relax a little bit.
There you go, men.
Y'all chill out, cool ya jets, we're gonna do a little drinking.
We'll bring you back a presidential verdict.
Well, guys, you know, I let those guys taste
some FDR-approved Georgia peach brandy.
-So we give them our benchmark. -Right.
So hopefully, one of these guys has got close to that.
Honestly, all we can expect from 'em is close.
-Yeah. -Because they didn't have the Georgia peaches
and they didn't have the Georgia water.
But they know what they're trying to get to now.
That's right. Well, first jar's Kelly.
-Now, Kelly, they, am I right? He was using frozen peaches. -Frozen. Yeah.
Yeah. Clear jar.
All right.
Now, I didn't taste that FDR brandy, of course.
Was it somewhere around 100 proof?
-Yeah. Around 100 proof. -Round 100 proof.
I tasted yours, Kelly, I tasted yours, Josh. And they were all three great.
Even though you never done it before, you still pulled it off pretty...
And you ran, like, a ton of jars.
-A lot of jars. -I got 37 jars of moonshine
that don't taste exactly like peach, though. That's my problem.
-I wanna put Kelly at 80, 85 proof. -Yeah.
Kinda light on the nose, though.
Well, boy, it's heavy on the flavor, though.
It's way heavy on the flavor. That's good, even if Kelly did make it.
-[laughing] -[Tim] I know. How in the world?
He made that with frozen peaches.
-[Digger] Frozen peaches. -He did.
-It's real smooth. -It is. I mean, it's got zero fire in it.
None on the back of your tongue.
I mean, it's got backbone all the way to the end.
But it's got so much flavor in it.
[Mark] It's got a lotta flavor.
You can tell it's got alcy-hol in it, though.
Wow.
Kelly done a good job.
And now, when it comes to Kelly, though, you know, he,
he's got a top rate jar right there,
but he's been known to screw stuff up as you go on around the corner.
I'ma telling you, he's a wild card, and I'm scared to death,
that he can take that first rate jar of peach brandy right there...
Turn it into slop.
And ruin it.
All right. Let's try Mr. Owens'.
Don't know how to even hold it, it's got so much stuff on it.
[Digger] And what's it made out of?
Peach. Peach juice, here.
Juice. That's concerning.
'Cause a lotta times, if it's, if it's grocery store peach juice...
There ain't a whole buncha flavor in it to start with.
[Digger] And it's got too many preservatives in it.
Well, he got it, obviously, to ferment.
Peach juice.
I mean, he's got some big bubbles up in it.
He's 90, 95 proof, ain't he?
-[Digger] Yeah, he's up there. He's definitely up there. -[Mark] Mmm-hmm.
He's obviously got some octane in it.
[Mark] He does, yeah.
For what we got, I think we all made a solid drink.
I feel pretty good we made it outta [bleep] we never made it out of before.
-[Howard] Yeah. -And we didn't have ingredients
that we'd normally use.
Anxious to see what happens.
Not much on the nose.
No, but it's got some alcohol in it, though.
It's got alcohol in it.
There's a little bit of peach in there.
-Yeah. -But it ain't got a lot.
Yeah, he's got more alcohol than he's got peach on it.
-Yeah. -Yeah, he does.
-He lost the flavor. -Yeah.
Yeah, he's got the proof, there, but again, you know, he's working with peach juice.
Kelly was working with peaches.
-Yeah. -Now, that...
Kelly's got, got flavor. But no alcohol.
And here's Josh with a lot of alcohol and no flavor.
It's not a bad liquor at all.
-No, it's interesting. -It's just not a peach liquor, really, in my book.
-It's almost like moonshine. -Yeah.
-And there's a little bitty touch of peach there. -Oh, yeah.
[Mark] I mean, there's not much.
He knows how to make liquor, man.
-[both agreeing] -No doubt about that.
He did a good job.
It's good. I'm proud of it.
But let's see what he does on that cocktail.
-[Mark] All right. -All right. Time for Howard Johnson.
I think it's really clear,
but it's hard to tell with all the fingertip prints and slobbers on the jar.
Really dirty jar.
-[Mark] All right. -Yeah, he gets bad marks for cleaning his jar up.
[Mark] I tell you what.
And it's slick on the bottom, too, boy.
Some snot on it.
-[Digger] Mmm-hmm. -That looks high proof, too.
[Mark] Maybe so.
That thumper is my saving grace. And that's what I been learning about doing this,
these challenges, that what I charge and put in that thumper,
allows me to bring out a good, refined, great product.
I'ma tell you, though, I feel like I made a jar that a president will love.
I'm really proud of Howard. Howard in the last two or three years,
-he's come a long way in his distilling technique. -He's come a long ways.
[Mark] He's, he's learned a lot.
That's really good and peachy on the nose. Really good.
That's really clear, now. Once I got it in this jar.
-[laughing] -[both agreeing]
Yeah, that's a real nice jar, now, Tim. Yeah.
Plenty of peach flavor on it. Ohh.
He's got peach, too.
He's good.
Yeah. Oh, he's got a lotta flavor, but it's a little lower proof
than I originally thought it would be.
-[Mark] Yeah. -It falls off a little too fast on the back end.
Howard used, what?
-That pre... puree. -Yeah, puree.
It's kinda like...
-[Tim] Apple sauce. -[Mark] ...tomato paste puree.
-Yeah, you bet five gallon buckets. -Okay.
You know, I really had high hopes for Howard,
because, you know, Howard runs with me a whole lot,
we was in Georgia together.
I think he did a good job in, in making a peach brandy.
I do, I agree.
But the presentation of that jar right there...
-...it's terrible. -That's worst we've ever seen, ain't it?
I mean, I got slime all over me.
Josh's is written all over, and it still looks better than Howard's.
-Yeah. -I'm gonna say this about all three of them rascals.
They've all done a great job to not have no fresh peaches.
-Yeah. -[Mark] I'm proud of 'em.
[Tim] They made a good peach brandy.
Well, honestly, guys, I feel confident in my vote.
I know who I'm voting for.
I've got my mind rock solid.
Our president appears.
[laughing]
[Josh] 2024 presidential candidates.
-[Digger laughing] -[Mark] All right, guys. Come on up and get your jars.
-[Howard] Whoo! -[Josh] Oh.
[Mark] And go back to ya spots.
All right, guys.
We drank all we could stood of that presidential liquor right there.
There wasn't a bad taste in the whole lot.
I'm telling ya, everybody brought their A game on this run.
You know, I gave you samples of FDR's presidential peach brandy.
That way, you had a benchmark to where you could go.
And I think all three of you did a great job, especially for what you was working with.
-'Cause none of you had Georgia peaches. -Right.
And all three of you brought something from home from different directions.
Kelly. Peach on the nose, peach at the back.
The only fault we could find in yours was, uh,
you were just a little bit shy on alcohol.
Brandies are supposed to be in the 60 to 80 range,
but we still like that benchmark of 100 proof,
where we can know we're biting into something.
You brought the flavor. Through and through. A lotta flavor.
I got one recommendation for ya, and I'm gonna leave it at that.
When you're making your cocktail,
put double the liquor in it, so you don't get it too low.
Because the flavor's there, but the proof's not.
Duly noted.
Howard.
Had flavor. You had proof.
Uh, you brought us a nasty jar.
I mean, it looked like you'd been sitting there licking the outside of the jar
-with honey in ya mouth. -[laughing]
Uh... So disappointed, I tell ya.
-You know? -Aww.
Everything's marketability that comes into here.
If you looked at that jar, would you buy one and come back?
Well, if you looked at that jar the way you brought it,
you wouldn't even wanna poke it over with the stick to scoot it outta the way
to get another jar of liquor.
God almighty.
-I mean, just saying. -Yeah, I gotta work on presentation.
-Yeah, that. -[laughing]
You're serving to a president, here.
So let's, let's up your game a little bit.
Okay.
You know, you brought a good, good peach flavor.
Good proof. You know, it's, uh, it's really something to be proud of,
if, uh, you know, you just wasn't messy Marv.
-[all laughing] -But that's...
Josh.
Plenty of liquor. I mean, you get in there, you knew what ya had.
You had alcy-hol. Good flavor.
But it fell off so fast. And you said you used juice, didn't you?
Maybe that's all the flavor that that juice would produce.
You work with what you have. That's what moonshiners do.
But still, I mean, that's a fine drink right there, brother. Good job.
And Josh, yours was a little bit higher proof,
which is good, in a way, because later on, you're making a cocktail.
You got something to work with.
You ran your still good, you made a good cut, and, uh, that's a good jar.
Thank you.
And all three of you guys, great job.
-Knocked it out of the ballpark. -Thank you.
So guys, you know at the end of the day, nobody's going home.
We're just giving you the order in which you're gonna go to the beverage cart
to get what you need to build your cocktail.
I'm gonna give you a order, then Tim's gonna take care of the rest.
As it stands...
...Kelly, you're number one to the cart,
Howard, you're number two to the cart,
Josh, you're bringing up the caboose.
Guys, you know, you did a good job so far.
But instead of you going to get the ingredients and going somewhere else,
we're gonna bring the ingredients to you.
So I think it's only appropriate that one of our prime presidential candidates
bring you the ingredients right here for you to pick from.
Tickle!
[all laughing]
How y'all doing?
-You running for office? -Yeah. Yeah, just on a smaller scale, I reckon.
What do you wanna do about the moonshine?
What am I gonna do about the moonshine? I'm gonna make it legal.
Everybody gets a sip.
So the presidential race didn't work out for you in 2016,
so now you back to pushing carts?
-[all laughing] -Well, that's 'cause I didn't run in 2016, Howard.
I ran in 2012.
All right. I see who voted for me and who didn't.
-[all laughing] -[Digger] So I'm all confused here.
Which year did you run for president, and which year did you run from the law?
Or did it all happen at one time?
Well, I, I ran for president in 2012.
Now, in 2016, I believe I was running from the law.
And I ain't gonna lie to ya. 2024, I might just do it again.
Run from the law or the president?
-I'll let y'all figure that one out. -Ah.
[all laughing]
[Digger] We'll see ya, Stevie Ray. You be careful.
Let's just build a cocktail. [laughing] How about that?
Let's do it.
All right, guys. It's time to go up here to the cocktail mixology cart.
As y'all well know, Kelly gets to go first. You got one minute. Go.
I see martini glasses I'm gonna grab those things.
And I'm hoping that I can dress this glass up,
because part of this challenge is making it presentable to a president.
[Digger] 20 seconds, Kelly.
15 seconds, Kelly.
-I gotta leave some stuff for them guys. -Three, two, one. You're done.
All right, Howard, you are next in line.
Get your basket and get ready for me to tell you to...
...go.
Mmm-hmm.
[Kelly] Go, Howard.
Since my boy got all my martini glasses,
I'm gonna have to think outside the box here, now.
Little strainer here.
You know, the judges talked about what they liked from the jar for the first run.
I had that peach there, I had the proof there.
[Howard] Going into this cocktail challenge, what I see is probably a lime,
maybe even some strawberries, because they're tart.
That'll give me balance. It'll give me layers.
Five, four, three, two, one. You're done.
Get back to your station.
Got it.
Nick of time.
All right, Josh.
Your time starts now.
Easy, lightnin'.
-[all laughing] -Attaboy.
Hey, and you said you got the short end of the stick.
You got 50 seconds left, Josh. What else you wanna do?
[all laughing]
-[Mark] Attaboy. -Nice method, brother.
Ain't nobody can have none of the rest of it, hell.
[all laughing]
All right, guys. You're gonna make us a Prohibition-style cocktail in honor of FDR.
You're gonna have 30 minutes for which to build us three cocktails fit for a president.
Your time starts...
...now. Get with it.
From what I got from the feedback from the judges
from the liquor that I made, this is my competition to lose.
So all I'm playing in my mind is, don't screw up,
keep the proof up, keep the flavor good,
and just make it very presentable to 'em.
-There's Josh. -Yeah, Josh is in the building.
[slurping]
Ugh.
Man, that one [bleep] nasty.
[Josh] Every time I come out here, I make these cocktails and stuff,
and it's really not my wheelhouse. I mean, I can do it,
but I'm more of a traditional moonshiner.
[sucking teeth, blowing raspberry]
[exhaling, slurping]
[exhaling slowly]
[hoarsely] Whoa.
Hey, Josh? Tell me what you got going on.
I been monkeying around with this whole tray of stuff.
I tried to mix this and that and this and the other,
and I don't feel happy with none of it.
Cocktails is really not my wheelhouse.
I'm sitting here thinking, well, they're gonna want some kinda mixed drink.
So, once I poured that cherry juice in there,
it was just sweet enough that it made it just right.
I was like, oh, my God, I found a really nice cocktail.
I might just kick their ass with this.
Well, sometimes, simple is best.
I got this.
[grunting]
Now, when you go up to a bar, it don't take 30 minutes to make a drink.
But we're all here novices.
I don't know what ingredients I'm using, what I'm throwing into it,
which kitchen sink I'm throwing from.
I just know I've got 30 minutes to make a drink
that's gonna make the judges happy.
Ask not what I can do for this cocktail, but what this cocktail can do for you.
Well, I'd say that Howard's learned something.
He's using the wrong end of his damn mortar.
To mash up his strawberries.
Josh you ain't using a knife, are you?
No, why?
I might need some first aid if you are. [laughing]
No, I done cut that finger off.
[all laughing]
[Howard] You know, I feel like this challenge is built around my skills and my knowledge,
because I got to learn FDR's recipe. I got to bring it back to life.
And then for me to have carried this tradition forward
and bring my own spin to it, I'm confident.
What's that stuff Howard's got in that brown bottle?
What's in that brown bottle, Howard?
This right here is a orange liqueur.
Oh, yeah.
Hmm.
Here, Kelly, he's just, he's shaving and a-slicing.
Damn, Kelly. You making a fruit bowl over there or a drink?
Mind ya own damn business! [laughing]
I am gonna shoot for something that I can get a little bit of the extra peach flavoring in.
Ultimately, I wanna be somewhere in the 50, 60 proof for it to really taste good.
Oh, my God. Y'all are gonna love this.
Hey. Ya gotta...
Oh, yeah?
-Wipe it off. -[laughing]
You gonna have to wipe your lips from kissing the judges' butts.
[all laughing]
-That's great. -[all laughing]
-Kelly. -Yes, sir.
Give us a little description of what you're doing there.
I took, uh, the advice of the esteemed judge that told me
that my alcohol was weak enough,
and I only wanted to put something in it to give me a little carbonation
and dress it up a little bit to make it pretty for you guys.
All right.
Well, Howard? What you got going on over there?
Well, I'm working on a drink fit for a president.
Strawberries, you know, people always think they're sweet.
But really, when you bite into it without a little sugar, it's got a little tart to it.
So I'm adding the strawberries, squeeze a little lime in there,
add a little bit of bitters, this orange liqueur I got,
gonna make it, blend it, and then I'm gonna add my peach to it,
and I feel like I'm gonna come out with something that should make a president happy.
I noticed you tasted those bitters on the end of your finger.
How did you like them?
I, I wasn't a big fan of them, to be honest.
They were a little, they were a little, um...
Bitter.
-Hot to trot, you know? -That's why you just use a little tiny bit of it.
Well, I've never worked with 'em. I've seen bartenders work with 'em.
-Yeah. -And I'm far removed from a bartender,
so all I can do is wing it at this point.
All right, you're down to 12 minutes, men.
[Howard] Come on, Josh!
[Josh] You waiting on me?
[Mark] My God, Josh has made a pretty drink over there.
-[Tim] Put some color in it, didn't he? -[Mark] Yes, he did.
Three minutes, gentlemen.
Oh, that's it right there. It don't get no better.
Get there, Josh?
[Howard] Bada-bing, bada-boom. You knocking the presidents out the room.
[Digger] Any time y'all are ready, bring 'em to the front.
[Josh] I'm not a bartender.
And without a plan, I felt like at the last minute or two,
I pulled a rabbit out of my hat, and I whipped out a really good drink.
Thank you, sir.
-Good luck, Josh. -All right, fellas, I'm ready.
Bring it in here, Howard.
It's kinda hard to polish up a copper glass,
but it's a lot better than that jar was.
-That's all we ask. -Yeah.
Here you go, Mr. Digger. I hope you enjoy.
That's a presidential winner right there.
You ready for mine, guys?
I'ma slosh this all the way across the floor,
-'cause I filled her up, guys. -[Digger] Yeah, you get good marks on a full pour.
There you go, guys. You enjoy. That's gonna be the best.
Well, boys, we're gonna head out here, and sample and sip.
We're gonna come back, and one of you all is gonna get the presidential seal of approval.
-Let's do it. -Yay!
[Kelly] Here we go.
Well, guys. I tell you what, I mean, I'm proud of what them guys did.
Presentation is off the chain.
-[Mark] It's good. Yeah. -[Tim] All of 'em is.
Where you wanna start, Timmy?
Let's start with this big 'un right here in front of me, here.
-All right. Kelly. -Let's start with Kelly.
I mean, this looks like a FDR martini.
He gets high marks for presentation and a full pour.
Well, it's buttery smooth on the mouth feel, ain't it?
-[Digger] That's pretty good. -That's pretty good. It is good.
Kinda like a fruit salad with a little attitude.
Franklin Delano would maybe be proud of that, Tim.
Yeah. Yeah.
Ice has watered it down a little bit,
but no, the peach flavor that we're shooting for is there still.
It's peach on peach.
-And it's still got the alcohol in there. -Peach on peach.
But I think that he doubled up on the liquor.
Yeah.
'Cause now had he put just a like a shot in that...
-Mmm-hmm. -...he woulda had no alcohol.
Yeah, he didn't have no proof.
I like it. I like it a lot.
Well, moving on.
Where you wanna go now, Timmy?
-I'm just going down the line with Josh here. -Josh.
Mr. Josh.
-It's colorful. -Well, that's good.
A little weak.
Oh, that's really...
That's Kool-Aid. What'd he do with the alcohol?
It got watered down with that ice.
I don't taste much alcohol, and I don't taste any peach anymore.
That is zero alcohol.
And Josh had the most alcohol.
But he didn't bring it here.
He got the most blending stuff.
Josh didn't have very much peach flavor anyway.
-Uh-uh. -Now, he has none.
Yeah, but he had alcohol.
[Digger] He's got cherry flavor now.
That's just a cold summertime...
-[both] Kool-Aid. -Yeah.
And I, I don't know what went South, Josh, but it did, and in a hurry.
But it is purty. I gotta give him kudos for presentation.
Yeah, it's purty from the color.
-But it's not a good cocktail. -No.
Well, now we move on to Howard.
Got an umbrella on that thing. [laughing]
Got a little mini-nose on it.
It's got a different taste.
Damn. [gagging]
Ohh. I think I know where, I know where he went wrong.
-[Digger] Bitters. -Bitters.
And he didn't know how just to use one little drop for a damn...
-55-gallon drum. -Yeah, that.
I don't know, I kinda like it. I'm tasting that mint.
It's a lot better than that fruit punch right there, I can tell ya that.
But I get no peach.
No, there's no peach in there anywhere.
-The citrus. -You get that mint that's in there.
And then you get the bitters.
Yeah, that's the citrus flavor.
That's what I'm a-getting. The orange is outrunning the peach.
I like orange, but it don't complement this peach at all.
Uh-uh.
That wouldn't be the drink that the president would have.
[Digger] No.
Well, I know where I'm at.
I know where I'm at.
-One, two, three. -Yeah. That's pretty good.
Yeah, I'll go with that.
We got a winner, and I think it's a landslide.
Yeah.
-Let's go do it. -Yeah.
I got a pop quiz for ya, boys:
Who are the four faces on Mount Rushmore? Who are those presidents?
Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson.
George Washington.
[Kelly] Teddy Roosevelt.
-It is Roosevelt. Yeah. -It is Teddy Roosevelt.
I think it is.
See, I had to drag you outta that one. I'm, I'm the silent...
[both] Genius.
-I can tell. -Yeah.
'Cause the only time I'm a genius is when I'm silent.
-[laughing] -Any time I'm talking, it's gonna be dumb.
[laughing]
["Hail to the Chief" plays]
Well, you know, guys, it was a great experience right here.
I'm glad we all got to celebrate Presidents' Day right here.
No matter what the dissension is,
no matter who's not getting along with who, at the end of the day,
we live in the United States of America. The greatest country on God's planet.
You damn right. We're free.
This is a real big event for us.
All across the United States, we celebrate Presidents' Day.
And because of FDR repealing Prohibition in 1933,
we got something to drink about.
So, you know, all three of you should be proud.
Kelly, you made the presentation princess right here.
I'm telling you, it's purty. You got the alcohol in there.
You got the peach flavor. You didn't drop the ball at all anywheres.
You know, I think there could have been a little more alcohol,
but at the end of the day, you built a nice, really tasty cocktail
that really caught your eye before it did your tongue.
Kelly? I said earlier that, you know, that you had kinda redeemed yourself
for that pineapple fiasco.
So you're going good. [laughing]
Really, I wanna carry that through. Presentation's good. The peach is still in there.
Hell west and crooked.
Kelly, you know, from me to you,
I think you knocked it out the ballpark by adding all the fruit cocktail.
A lotta fruit is hanging and it's floating.
Can I just take one moment here to go, whoo!
You ain't won yet!
Well, he complimented me.
-[laughing] -That's better than I got the last time.
Howard. Your drink? Plenty alcy-hol.
I think you went just a little bit extreme on the bitters,
but the orange liqueur come across really good.
-Yeah. -It did. But I don't know what you did with the peach.
[Tim] What you did put in the cup, it does taste good.
And the little umbrella that you got, you know?
That sets it off.
Thank you. I try.
You did the absolute best you possibly could presentation-wise.
Because that copper cup does not permit no one to see what's inside of it.
My man went after my martini glasses on me.
Well, I had to do something.
He said, he told, he said here earlier, the best offense is a good defense.
He, he heard me say I wanted them martini glasses. Well played, Kelly.
So there you go.
Still yet, damn fine drink. Had plenty alcohol in it.
You just left the peach at the other party.
[laughing] Story of my life.
Josh. You know, we never know where you're going.
But presentation, I love it. Good color.
And I guess that's cherry juice, the majority of it.
You know, it took away a little from what peach flavor you had.
But, like a true moonshiner, you worked with what you had.
Now, as far as your peach, it didn't get no peach. All I got was cherry.
There was nothing there really to bring any peaches in.
And you know, I think it could have been a little more alcoholic,
but, uh, it's appealing to the eye.
I mean, if I saw that right there sitting in a bar, I'd want me one of 'em too.
So there's high marks on that. Very high marks.
Looks good. Tastes good.
-Good drink. -Thank you.
Good job, all of you, and I'm proud of every one of ya.
You know, you three are living proof...
...that the state of the shine union is secure.
[laughing]
I can't think of no place that I'd rather be on Presidents' Day
than with three of my best friends.
My question is, who are the two acquaintances?
[all laughing]
Hey, I'm happy to just be an acquaintance.
The way it stands right now...
...the race is over, the people have spoke.
Kelly, you had the top drink.
And what you won...
Whoo!
...is...
...a picture...
...of Mount Drinkmore.
-[all laughing] -Holy [bleep].
Why can't you win this?
[all laughing]
I don't know, but I'd like to have it.
Kelly, come up and get your lovely picture of Mount Drinkmore.
[Kelly] Working with these guys makes it a lot of fun,
but everybody's goal is to beat the dog snot out of ya buddies.
[laughing]
Hot dog, guys.
[all laughing]
Look at those four famous presidents.
That is so frickin' amazingly awesome.
That's pretty cool with all y'all's signatures on it, too.
Kelly may have won the competition today,
but there was one thing wrong with the whole thing.
My face should have been on Mount Drinkmore. What the hell?
Well, y'all relish in your victories and lick your wounds for your defeat.
Don't let it go to your head, Kelly. But, uh, hail to the chief.
-Hell, yeah. -Thank you, guys.
[all humming "Hail to the Chief"]
[Kelly] Best Presidents' Day ever.
[humming continues]
[narrator] Next time on Master Distiller...
Moonshine School 101.
[Mark] You guys gonna teach us how to run these cars...
You had one job!
[Mark] ...and we're gonna teach you how to run some moonshine liquor.
Ain't got no flies in it.
We're low and slow today.
Like you're going to be on the race track.
Let's go to the race track and settle this whole thing.