[announcer] this time on master distiller.
I've never ran liquor this fast in my life.
Yeah, you might get a nascar sponsor for going so fast.
[announcer] in the first battle
Of the stillhands, hunk earned the title.
-Congratulations, big guy. -[hunk] told you I'd win.
[announcer] now, three new outlaws
Vie for the coveted prize.
Howard.
This right here is made with love in virginia, baby.
[announcer] craig.
[mark] you're making a smoothie.
Basically.
[announcer] and killer beaz
I've got a wedding dress in my box.
[announcer] it's the reveng of the stillhands
To determine which number two.
Oh, lord.
[beaz] you're gonna smell like a moonshiner now.
[announcer] deserves to be named number one.
That's a fire.
As soon as craig comes back down out of orbit,
We'll get started.
[announcer] across the country,
A handful of amateur distillers
Are heirs to a centuries ol tradition.
Some operate on the legal side,
Others practice their craft beyond the reach of the law
Now, three of the best stillhand
Will step up to the plate.
[tim] beaz is running.
[beaz] that's what I do for a living.
-We're looking good, man. -Show off...
[announcer] judged by the ultimate
Backwoods mentors.
You're coordinated as a damn ostrich with polio, ain't you?
[announcer] they'll go head-to-head
In a series of challenges.
-Woo. -Woo.
[announcer] to earn the titl of master distiller.
Lord, have mercy.
[announcer] and an expert copper soldering kit.
This here is a mac daddy torch setup.
And it's just like the one that I use at home.
-Hmm. -[digger] and that's fine.
[dramatic music playing]
All right, guys. Welcome back
For another stillhand challenge.
Well, I say back but howard's the only one's that back.
-Exactly. -Beaz, craig.
Y'all have seen enough corn liquor to give us a bath.
-That's right. -Yes, sir.
We be dandy shape. We're not worried about you.
Howard, however, is trying to claw his way to the top.
So y'all have a little bit of mercy on him.
[laughs]
You know, I got invited back to this challenge, man,
Because I had I had something to prove.
I came here last time for stillhand challenge
And I lost it, I blew it.
Howard, it's still a little bit fierce in there.
You know, I'm back for this competition
Because I want to prove to everybody
That I am a number one stillhand
And I can stand out with anybody.
And you guys are playing for a dandy prize.
Tim, show 'em what we got.
[tim] all right. Here we go.
Hmm, that's a torch.
[mark] this here is a mac daddy torch setup.
I mean, it's just like the one that I use at home.
Yeah, that's fine.
That torch set is ideal for me.
When I win that prize,
Me and tim and tickle are be building
Some of the best stills this side of the mississippi.
All right. Me and y'all know
Corn liquor is the key to our world.
We're gonna start you off with the basic still.
You just got a pot, you got to condenser.
That's it. We want a jar on the table.
Three hours.
So don't get full because we know you experienced,
And we want sweet corn flavor.
Minimum 90 proof.
The winner of this challenge gets first pick
Of ingredients at the farm stand for your next challenge
Which will be the infusion with the liquor that you run.
All that being said, you got three hours.
The time starts now.
All right.
This is the stillhand challenge.
So, it looks like it's gonna be a challenge.
[digger] but when I heard the names,
I said stillhands are challenged is what I thought.
[laughter]
I've got a wedding dress in my box.
My name is truett beazley.
I'm a professional comedian that goes
By the stage name killer beaz.
I think they should combine that moonshiners
To naked and afraid.
That they can call it
"why is everybody saying I'm naked?"
I've been doing that for 40 years.
But I gotta tell you, the coolest thing I do
As a stillhand and a bootlegger
For mark and digger.
So how come you guys aren't carrying stuff?
You're the damn student, buddy. There you go.
The first time I made liquo
Was six and a half years ago,
And I was tutored on that particular run
By digger, and it was cranberry moonshine.
I'll never forget it. I fell off a cliff.
Let's save them a little, start stirring it there, beaz.
Stir the hell out of it.
Being a stillhand is not a glamorous position
But it's a very honorable gig.
There's not many stillhands
That get to work with mark and digger.
The mash that I'm running today,
It is a sweet corn and once again,
Mark and digger taught me how to do that.
Beaz got fire in the hole over here.
Everybody look out.
So proud of you, beaz.
You didn't singe your hair or anything.
I tell you all what, working under mark and digger,
You have to have a thick skin
Because it is their life mission to mess with me.
That's six years of bad jokes.
Yeah, well, they're not all bad,
But they're jokes I heard in 1981.
[laughter]
Killer mash. Killer beaz.
-Right there. -Beautiful.
I was born and bred in the backwoods
Of new iberia, louisiana, in the swamp.
Yeah.
My name is craig landry.
I've been distilling for about 12 years.
My brother is richard landry
Within the packet themselves,
We put our nutrients and everything else.
My brother kind of taught me the ropes.
Making alcohol is not just making alcohol.
It's really an art.
It's a craft.
It's science involved with this.
Oh, it smells so good.
Brought my super-duper corn mash from home.
[richard] look how pure it is.
That mash don't even need a strainer or nothing.
I had a lot of sugar, yeast
And I think it's a win already.
This right here is made with love in virginia, baby.
-Bro. Lost a little bit. -[tim] alcohol abuse.
That's just damn shame.
My name is howard thompson. I'm from danville, virginia
[grunts]
Man, we got to get you in shape.
Dude, I am a a-shape, I'm round.
You know, I've been with ti and tickle's stillhand for 10 years.
Tim has taken me under his wing
And taught me the art and craft to make moonshine,
Good moonshine.
That's right on, man...
That's delicious.
[howard] you know, when I found out
That I was coming back for stillhand challenge,
I knew I had a lot to prove
To prove to tim that I got what it takes
To make him proud in the woods and outside the woods.
Boys, I think that we like mashed to win.
Right here, this is... This right here is money.
[craig] think you got to killer mash over there?
[howard] I got the killer mash.
You got the killer beaz over on your side.
You got a killer mash on this side.
I use a yellow cornmeal,
A dry yeast and pure cane sugar.
I mean, it don't get no easier than this,
But this is what wins competitions.
[mark] craig, you all right over there?
[craig] yeah.
[mark] look like you struggle bussin.
-[craig] I'm open. -[howard] I don't hear gas.
[craig] I hear it. You don't hear it?
Y'all are gonna blow us up, ain't ya?
[craig] I'm feeling a little pressure.
You know, richard, he's gonna know what I'm doing here.
So it's, like, win or go home and face him.
Stillhand down is gonna be the show.
Look at the blind leading the blind.
[craig] yes.
I mean, you know what, I'm over here helping him,
I nearly forgot how many buckets I done put in now.
Well, you got to watch yours.
[howard] oh, what in the hell is going on?
[tim] yeah. What's going on over there?
[howard] my pot's leaking.
When you take this challenge on,
You're already nervous and then to have failures
Right out the gate.
-[tim] did it stop? -No, it didn't stop.
[tim] well, you're gonna have to drain it out
-And start over. -[howard] god almighty.
Well, you only got two and a half hours left.
Craig can [bleep] make him rock.
Making moonshine out by the creek
At your own pace was pretty chill.
Doing it in a... In a competition
Is the total opposite.
Let's see, where's my baculum?
There it is.
[craig] oh, that's what I'm missing.
My biggest fear coming out the gate,
Burning the mash.
You do not want to scald the mash.
[mark] hurry up and wait. Hurry up and wait.
But just like the monkey that got
His tail caught in a lawnmower.
Say, it won't be long now.
Yeah.
Being that I'm kind of a quiet, cool, mellow guy
Everybody underestimates me
But I'm not to be underestimated.
This alcohol is my game.
Need some help, man?
Oh, now you're asking to help.
-Oh, well, I was... -After all the work is done
And now you wanna help me?
Well, I appreciate it, craig.
You wanna come in with easy part, you know?
[howard] yeah, I don't mind.
Now, they wanna help.
Oh, lord.
[tim] you're gonna smell like a moonshiner now.
You're coordinated is a damn ostrich with polio, ain't ya?
I am, mark.
Light her up.
Yeah, we're gonna need a towel or a mop.
Because we gonna catch fire right here.
It won't be the first time I caught fire in the woods.
All right, men, you burnt an hour up.
You got two left.
[craig] beaz is running.
Oh, it's looking good, beaz.
[digger] he just trying to show off now, ain't you beaz?
That's what I do for living.
-[craig] working good, man. -[beaz] to show off.
[craig] it's working good.
[howard] what about you? Where are you at?
Have you turned the corner yet?
[craig] right there.
-It is coming. -[beaz] really?
-It's coming, beaz. -[beaz] really?
Yeah. It's coming.
These two other stillhands, they're cool, calm, collected.
They're fired up.
They're doing what they're supposed to do
I had run around like a chicken
With my head cut off all day long.
He already won the wet t-shirt contest.
[laughter]
I did that for y'all.
I'm telling you, this is hard work, boys.
[craig] you can see straight through it.
It's a little trick my brother showed me, man.
Just let the heads burn off,
When it start smoking, man,
That's when you know it's about to go down.
[tense music playing]
-I'm dripping, man. -[howard] there you go.
Aight, boys. Two hours have passed you by
Like you're sitting still.
One more left.
[howard] uh-oh. There she goes.
She's a-runnin'. Thank god.
[tim] where you at there, slim shady?
I am.
Just put jar number two under the worm.
Well, I'm not really expecting more than four jars.
Right. But you need to make you get to the heart.
[beaz] at the most. Correct.
As far as reading the bead, I'm not great at it yet.
There's lots of nuances to get the proof
Things like the way the liquid sticks to the glass.
The man, craig.
That's a really nice little stream.
What jar is that you're working on there?
It's number four.
[tim] I think you're on board boss.
I'm really looking forward to tasting that.
I ain't never had any of yours.
My strategy with this competition
Is take it low and slow.
And that should win the race
Howard, looks like you've had some success.
[howard] I started late.
I mean, I had leaks I had everything going on.
But this is getting crazy.
I've never ran liquor this fast in my life.
Number three is about 160.
Jar number five is pretty much running purified water.
Yeah. It's better to run 'em a little slower
But as long as your condenser
Can keep up and keep your liquor cool,
You know, that's the main thing.
When your finished product comes out warm,
That's no good.
Well, about that,
-Jar number five... -[mark] uh-huh.
Is probably still a hundred and eighty degrees.
All of a sudden, steam start blowing out the back end.
I was like, "oh, my god, I'm gonna blow
The whole operation up."
Oh, my lord.
There's so much foolishness a-bounding in here.
[coughs]
Boy, I got a...
I got a steamy jar coming on over here.
It ain't looking too good.
I mean, you just smell the ethanol.
-It is. There, look at this. -[tim] oh, yeah.
This ain't looking too good.
This ain't looking promising.
Now I'm smoking.
I mean, I look like a bad exhaust leak here.
I mean, that will... That will kill you right now.
I mean, I can't get right. I can't think.
I'm in the moment going, "what am I gonna do?
What am I gonna do?"
It's just one thing after another.
Pot leaking, worm smoking.
I mean, two things you don't want to hear the woods
Is pot leaking, worm smoking.
[beaz] yeah.
I mean, there's no coming back from this one.
Jeez.
I mean, that thing right there is hot. Hot.
It's just one thing after another.
I thought I will come in and be the shining star
Because I've been here before.
[beaz] can you turn that down or some, man?
[tense music playing]
[howard] oh, she's coming down now.
It's cooling down.
It's gonna be fine.
-What jar are y'all on? -I'm on four.
[beaz] I've got number two still under the worm.
-That's two? -Mmm-hmm.
What's your temp at, man? One-thirty?
-One, one-ninety... -One-ninety-two.
Two.
Beaz is awful calm for normal, ain't he?
Yeah. There's something... He's medicated or something.
He's took... He's medicated,
Smoked him big thumb-buster,
Because he's calm as a damn cucumber seed.
Yeah. He's smoked him hog leg big around as a baseball bat.
My whole investment in the competition
Was gonna be in four little jars.
So, number one was way too high.
I knew it would be, it's probably 170.
Number two had come down a bit
So I knew I had something there.
You know, I didn't anticipate running more than six jars.
I only have six caps.
I mean...
Yeah. You might get a nascar sponsor for going so fast.
[laughter]
-Down to half hour, guys. -Half hour.
Somehow or another I might have
To come in and temper this.
And this is where my skills aren't really strong.
That's why I had to distill all of it,
That's what tim and tickle are for.
They know how to take and blend them to...
And bring it to the perfect proof.
Me, I'm struggle bussin.
Just temper a lot.
Are you... Can you help me with tempering?
-[craig laughing] -because I can't temper.
If you... If you don't know how to temper,
It's a little late in your career.
[mark] yeah, tickles, isn't it?
Tickle and tim are my mentors.
Tim is trying to run out from under the chair.
I know he is, but I'm reeling back in.
I mean, you can't run from me, tim.
You can't deny me in front of everybody.
[mark] hey, tim?
Been my experience, sometimes,
You have to listen instead of doing all the talking.
[laughter]
-[mark] craig? -Yeah.
[mark] I've seen that you have adopted
The theory of just listen.
[digger] you're sitting in between two
That will talk pump handle
Into believing it's a windmill.
[laughing]
We know he's got some big shoes to fill.
He's fallen in richard's footstep.
[craig] I think richard will be very proud
With the work that I'm doin in my first run.
It's basic corn liquor,
We've done it a bunch of times,
But we're looking for 90 proof, the judges,
And we have no hydrometer,
So that's just part of the competition.
And I'm loving every minute of it.
Fifteen minutes, boys.
And walls are closing in.
What do you got there, craig?
-Still hot, man. -You're still hot?
Still a little bit, we gotta calm down.
Still a little spicy, huh?
That's good. You got good flavor.
Mmm-hmm.
I think we're gonna get a variety of flavors.
Come here, howard,
Come check out my number two bottle then.
[bleep] beaz?
What are you trying to do to me son?
That's one way to take out the competition.
-Damn get me drunk. -[craig] get you drunk.
Holy smokes.
[craig] it's good?
Yes.
All right, guys. You're under a minute.
If you're ready to turn in, you better get to doing it.
[suspenseful music playing]
[digger] five, four, three, two,
One.
You done, boys. Step back from your stills,
Hope you got one blended up you want.
Fellas, don't let number 10 fool you.
-This is a good jar... -Just leave it here.
Good luck, buddy.
[howard] thank you all, buddy.
Here you go. It's not a full jar.
[mark] here comes sir craig.
But there's something special in there.
Looking forward to tasting this, old buddy.
Head on out, good luck to you.
-All right. Thanks, guys. -[mark] good luck.
-There you go. -All right, beaz.
It looks like you finally learned to slow down.
-Good luck, boss. -All right. Thank you, guys.
-Thank you very much. -Good luck, beaz.
I got an idea.
Let me take this jars out, camouflage them,
So don't know whose they are
And let's do the true blind taste test.
-Head it out. I'm all board. -You okay with that, tim?
-I'm okay. -Do you have any objection?
No, it don't really matter.
I'm gonna tell you like it is,
I don't care about the name on it.
-I know you will. And I know digger will and I know I will. -[digger] yup.
But just for our contestant's sake.
That was a trip.
That's just how weird that went.
You had 700 jars. I had four.
-[howard laughing] -[craig] I had five.
I had more jars combined than y'all together.
[digger] here he comes.
[mark] lookie here, guys.
Completely blind taste test.
The best jar's gonna win anyway but, uh, at least now,
We can remove any doubt out from ourselves, so.
[digger] get with it or we ain't gonna get it done.
[tim] that ain't 90 proof liquor.
[mark] a lot of oxygen in it, ain't they?
[tim] we said a standard of 90 proof.
-We did. -Minimum.
[digger] you see that oxygen hang out
That long with them air bubbles.
Low. Low.
[tense music playing]
That's got a different smell to it.
Smells okay, but it's still weak.
Oh, it's weak as cat piss.
[digger] that is nowhere in the ballpark.
I'm gonna say that's probably 70, 75 proof.
No, there's no alcohol, it's just like drinking water.
It's very, very, very light.
You know, and sometimes you get, like, a vanilla sweet
Out of corn, but I'm getting more of a fruity grape...
What taste is there is just... It's kinda bland.
Okay. Well, we got a nice pretty jar.
That might be the clearest jar on the table.
That's a good bead right there.
-That's a good bead. -Pretty good bead right there.
-A little light, ain't it? -Yeah.
-Very light over there. -Yeah, very light though.
[mark] really, really light.
-Pretty. -Damn.
That's corn liquor.
Adds on the money right there.
[digger] yeah.
And it's got good smell. Good taste. Good proof.
This jar right here will go a long way
In their flavoring challenge.
Oh, you ain't kidding.
I don't know who the daddy of that is,
But it's good.
Well, it's gonna be tough to beat that one.
-You ain't kidding. -Yes, it will.
Well, this is invisible moonshiner number three.
That's a good clear jar.
[tense music playing]
-[tim] not too bad. -That's a bit like...
It ain't bad.
-It's 90 or... -[tim] it's maybe 90, right?
Minimum of 90.
[tense music playing]
-[digger] shoot. -Mmm-hmm.
What in the world is that?
Smell a little something fun, don't you?
[digger] it smelled like your feet.
Like somebody put their sock in that one.
I hope it don't taste like it.
That's flatter than a gander's arch.
Yes, it is. That's flatter than a flitter.
Whoever that is, they pulled some artifacts
Out their distillation they didn't really want to.
Something went haywire.
Well, you know, right here we got a clear winner.
Right.
See who the third place is first.
Pull off the band-aid.
See who the third place is first.
Pull off the band-aid.
Howard.
[tim] he's third place.
Oh, he had a lot of stuff going
Against him from the get-go.
You were wearing all your mash, remember?
I'm not happy with what I turned in.
-Let's be certain... -You're not happy with that?
No.
[tim] number two.
-Craig. -[mark] craig.
[digger] I think craig got carried away
Just a little bit with the spring water.
-Yeah. -I got a pretty good idea
Who number one is.
-Beaz wax. -[digger] well,
He may have just got him a full-time job.
[laughs]
And so here's to you guys.
-Here's to still guys. -Here's to beaz still hand.
We're solid I'm gonna go fetch them.
Oh, yeah. We've become solid before we un-taped them.
Yeah.
[country music playing]
[eric] all right, gentlemen. Welcome back.
Howard, you did an exceptional job
With everything you faced at the beginning of this run.
You's over here worrying about trying to get craig's pot lit
And your mash are running out the floor.
But, you know, good job. You put it in there.
You played catch up extremely well.
You ran more liquor than anybody here.
But you might've brought your proof down
A little bit too much.
It had a little different smell to it.
-Yeah. -I don't know why
You got that smell in there.
I don't know if you put your sock in there
Or what happened.
But...
Beaz, you did an outstanding job.
It was clean on the outside and clean on the inside.
Your flavor's good, nose is good.
All in all, I think you'd build
A good cocktail for an 82.
Thank you.
Craig, you was nervous as a long-tailed cat
In a room full of rocking chairs.
We know it, and we get it. It's your first time in here.
Your liquor got good flavor in there.
Nose, we all got a big floral poof
Out of that right off the bat.
A little low on proof.
I think you've got carried away
Just a little bit with your spring water.
I did.
But you're in the right ballpark.
Good job, buddy.
Thanks.
Everybody did a fine job.
Nobody's got anything to be ashamed of it all.
But we gotta get a pecking order
That everybody goes to the farm stand.
Who's last, who's first, who's middle
And the way it stands right now.
Beaz, you're number one in the door.
You did us proud.
That was some of the finest corn liquor
I've ever had the opportunity to taste right there.
-Thanks. Thanks, guys. -[digger] congratulations.
And the rest of it goes like it flows,
Craig, you're number two.
You're number three, howard.
Pulling up the rear, boys.
-[craig laughing] -I believe it's where all
You rinsed all that mash to your t-shirt.
The shirt. That's what does it.
You got me worried.
I think you put a sock in there.
Now, you see what we're talking about.
Yeah, I know where you're coming from.
I think my ol' handkerchief got stuck in there.
[eric laughing]
All right, boys.
It's time to go to the farm stand.
We got you a tour guide.
Tickle.
All right, there fellas. What we got going on?
Well, we've got three contestants here.
They need to go out and get some things
To enhance their flavors a little bit.
All right.
Just make sure howard goes last
And beaz goes first.
All right, fellas. You all come on with me.
We'll get you all some ingredients.
[craig] yes, sir.
[tim] that's how howard washes his socks.
All right.
Fellers, you all are here at this beautiful farm stand
To get you all some ingredients for infusion.
Now, beaz, you're up first.
You're gonna have three minutes to get your stuff.
-Okay. -After three minutes,
Everything else in there belongs to me.
Beaz, your time starts now.
Don't forget we got plenty of fresh fruit right at front.
[beaz] lucky me, I got to go in first.
I knew what I was looking for.
I wouldn't gonna go and haphazard,
"hey, that looks kind of cool.
That's pretty."
I had a shopping list, just like when I go
To walmart, got that shopping list.
I'm in my sleep pants, wearing my crocs,
Burping up in walmart, "where's my stuff?"
[tickle] all right. He's got some oranges.
I wanted to infuse some fruit flavors,
Great fruit, oranges.
[tickle] there's an onion over there too, beaz.
Ain't nothing I like better
Than some darn good onion liquor.
I was looking for a coconut,
And there were no coconuts, but there were some old cans.
And one of them had coconut wrote on the top,
So, I grabbed that.
Then, I saw the vanilla extract.
You've got two minutes left, beaz.
-I'm good here, sir. -You're good?
[beaz] I set the world recor for a run
Through the farm half.
-What do you call it? -[producer speaking]
-The what? -[producer speaking]
All right, craig, your three minutes starts now.
[craig] I had no idea of what I was gonna get.
I just knew I wanted something fruity.
[tickle] now, look, craig, starting off here
With a whole lot of fruit for infusion run,
That's looking good.
Look. All right. Now, he got a whole pineapple.
All right.
[craig] I got me some cherries,
Some strawberries,
Some blackberries, pears,
And cherry marmalade.
[tickle] I'm wondering if craig ain't getting lunch.
That's what it's looking like to me.
But, he gonna make fruit salad if nothing else.
-You done? -I'm done.
-I'll tell you what. -A little bit of everything.
[howard] is there anything else left, boys?
[craig] yeah, we left you some.
Howard, beaz and craig have set the bar very high.
Your time starts now.
All right, howard, there's nuts right under you.
-I know how you love nuts. -You're nutty enough.
I know that you love them.
Going into the farm stand, I kind of had a idea
Of what I wanted to get.
I knew I wanted something lemon, lime,
Something citrusy.
-Let me do a lemon. -[tickle] look.
There's some lollipops back here, some candy.
Use some of that too, come on.
Come on. You know you...
Look, he's getting candy. All right.
Candy makes for good infusion.
I want a little bit of sour there,
But I need to find something to bring out that sweetness.
I kicked it off with little grape juice,
I threw a little peach mango juice in there.
[tickle] oh, he got the pickles.
All right. He's just hungry now.
At this point, I'm throwing the kitchen sink at it.
[tickle] where you at? You got two minutes left, howard.
-Come on. Come on. Come on. -Hold on.
[tickle] don't just stand there.
Come on. There you go.
All right. Howard, are you done now? No.
-Are you... -I'm done. I'm done.
-I'm done, I'm good. -[tickles] are you sure?
All right.
Well, fellers, you all has been trained
Excellently, and still has,
Because no novice could have done that that quick.
Now that we all got all you all's ingredients,
Let's get all back in there
And get some of this liquor infused, all right?
[craig] all right.
[tim] runnin'. What they got?
-What they got? -[tickle] yeah.
I have to tell you all, fellers,
These guys right here, they were on top
Over that farm stand.
I've never done a farm stand that quick.
I think y'all gonna get yourselves some good drink.
-[mark] I hope so. -All right. We'll see you.
-Good day to ya. -[mark] thank you, stevie.
[tickle] you're welcome, mark.
[eric] welcome back, men. This is your final challenge.
Your flavor infusion.
This is where you can make it or break it.
You've already made your corn liquor
The way you like it.
But now, you're gonna infuse it.
Just to remind you, the winner will get
This mac daddy torch over here.
I picked that out myself for you.
[digger] all right, men.
You got one hour to get your corn liquor infused.
It starts now. Good luck, men.
[mark] get busy guys.
[beaz] so, there's a time crunch for the infusion.
So, it is really weird just on a...
On a pressure level.
-That's a fire. -That's a fire.
[digger] soon as...
Soon as craig comes back down out of orbit,
We'll get started.
[laughter]
He'll blow himself out the door.
[craig] dealing with fruits especially red fruits,
Ones with a lot of sugars,
Takes a long time to really, really make a good infusion.
No, I didn't have enough time
But I was just hoping, so, I set my heat
A little high
And I'm just hoping that was enough.
Oh, baby.
Ooh. You lucky.
-Boy, you lucky. -That had a part fell.
Beaz, you said you got one of them pushes I can use?
[beaz] yeah, I've got a big one and a little one.
I just got lemon and limes. I just need something small.
-There you go, buddy. -[howard] thank you.
-May I borrow that bowl too? -Yes. You are the man.
[beaz] that's my favorite bowl.
[howard] I'll bring it back to you.
I need a haircut when I get home.
I gotta have that bowl.
[howard] is that what it's for?
[digger] oh, no, not a grapefruit.
Not a grapefruit. George.
I don't like grapefruit.
-[mark] don't you? -[digger] I do not.
But I'm gonna tell you, I'm a tiny bit concerned.
[tim] what you concerned about?
You don't like grapefruit.
I don't like grapefruit.
[tim] well, that's not good.
[beaz] that cost me,
So, I'm like, "man, I may have messed that up."
[dramatic music playing]
[tim] what are you working with, howard?
[howard] I'm doing a mango,
Lime, and lemon concoction here.
I'm gonna go for what I used to make
Back in the days called electric lemonade.
My back was already against the wall
When the judges talked about my jar
And how it smelled like old wet gym sock.
Hell, I've got to bring my a game.
And had a lemonade out there in the stand
But I got the lemons, limes.
That mango's sweet enough, it gives a little pop
That I don't feel like I need to add too much sugar.
I had to think outside the box,
Take some flavors that I've never worked with
But I felt would taste good.
So I'm thinking if I throw a little bit
Of this in there and a little bit
Of that in there,
Pizazz, I've got something.
[tim] what's that secret weapon you got over there?
[howard] that's grape juice.
[tim] that's kind of a laxative too, you know.
That's one way to relax you.
I'm gonna sip on the grape juice
While I eat some delicious dill pickles.
[laughs]
Yeah, this is something I never tried before.
You're making a smoothie.
Basically.
Coming in second place on the corn whiskey run,
I wish I could've came in first.
But after leaving the fruit stand,
Pretty confident I have everything.
So, now I'm back on the upbeat.
Craig, what you doing over there?
I see you got pineapples, cherries, strawberries, pears.
I got a little bit of everything here.
[tim] yours is gonna be a nutritious drink.
[mark] beaz, in normal fashion,
I see you have made a fufu-looking drink.
[howard] looks like a pink lemonade from here.
-[mark] man, it's fruity. -Here's what... Here's what...
Here's what we wanna call that,
Shooting for the female demographic.
-We say that, not fufu. -[mark] oh, okay.
Shooting for the female denim... Demographic.
-Thank you. -Not fufu.
I mean, it's a pretty color.
[digger] kind of looks like one of them laxative drinks.
I had trepidation because grapefruit
Was a little bit of an issue,
But the vanilla extract
That had a little bit more of a mellow sweet
Kind of thing.
[digger] oh, you can tell
He's never used vanilla before.
That I've never what?
You never used vanilla before.
[beaz] that's not a...
That's a very mild vanilla by the way.
What do you mean by that?
Takes just a minute little bit of vanilla
To smooth something out.
Of course, it may mask a lot of that bitter
That's in that grapefruit that I happen to not like.
It does... It does help.
[digger] fifteen minutes left.
Fifteen minutes gone, boys.
-Better make them count. -Fifteen minutes. All right.
[digger] you're not making a very much of a face
Of approval there.
Just don't pop like it needs to.
I was trying to go for something sweet and sour.
Right now, I got a lot of sour.
[mark] that's a damn oxymoron, ain't it?
-It is. -[mark] sweet and sour.
Kind of like, you know, parking on a driveway
And driving on a parkway.
Craig is wanting us to be healthy drunks.
That's right.
[tim] I like where he's going with that.
I like all about that.
Except for one thing.
What's that?
I don't like blackberries.
-Really? -[man] oh.
Neither does he.
-[craig] for real? -Uh-oh.
I forgot to tell you.
You're gonna sabotage me?
No, it's gonna be good.
Y'all gonna like it, man.
Two out of our three judges
Say they can't stand blackberries.
But it's too late now.
So, I try to compensate for it
By putting a few cherries in.
[digger] howard down here has almost got everything
We all kind of like altogether.
[tim] yeah. Yeah.
[digger] but every time he drinks,
He looks like he's trying to poop.
Every time he takes a sip of it,
He looks like he's got questions.
[digger] no, he looks like he's got concerns.
[howard] I knew I wanted something lemon, lime,
Something citrusy.
But I had to settle for a peach mango
And that didn't develop the flavor I needed.
I need to find something to bring out that sour there.
[tim] all right. What in the world
Is howard doing over there?
I threw a little pickle juice in there.
At this point, I'm throwing the kitchen sink at it.
Boys, I might be on to something here.
That little pickle juice might've made it kick. Hmm.
I was able to find the melody that kind of works.
Lord, have mercy.
I made something happen here, boys.
[beaz] wow.
When I went to mix that coconut,
It had congealed.
It was like lard. It was almost a solid.
And I'm gonna have to admit it was not very
Appetizing-looking as it sat there.
So, that was kind of sketchy.
It wasn't my exact plan.
-[tim] oh, no. -Oh, boy.
You're gonna have a challenge
Getting that across this table.
[mark] now, let me ask all of you something.
If it's something that's really, really good,
You think you can recreate it?
Maybe. [laughs]
Maybe.
Man, digger made the best run of liquor
We thought we'd ever made one time
And we just used everything that we had.
It was end of the season and we used everything--
And we didn't write any of it down.
So, we never could...
We never could do it again.
[digger] yeah. So that's why...
That is why always I ask that particular question.
We had all intentions where we would write this
All down here in a little bit
Once we simmer down.
-And it was great? -It was really, really good.
Oh, it was wonderful.
Then, we got really, really drunk.
-Pretty bad. -We couldn't remember.
-[tim] oh, no. -Oh, boy.
You're gonna have a challenge
Getting that across this table.
[beaz] the optics may not be great
On this jar of shine
But I think if I put her on the market,
I may wrap the bottle
With pictures of me and say shake well.
Thirty seconds, gentlemen.
[howard] I got it on spin cycle now, baby.
10 seconds, boys.
Nine, eight, seven, six,
Five, four, three, two, one.
[beaz] disqualified.
[digger] we're gonna taste. We're gonna sample.
We're gonna deliberate.
And we're gonna come up
With who is the number one jar.
-Good luck to all of you. -[beaz] thank you.
[craig] thank you. Thank you.
-Let's get with it. -Pour us a drink, tim.
There's howard.
I bet it's very citrusy, tim.
[tim] all I can say is
There's a lot of stuff in there.
Well...
I kind of like it.
[tim] it's a little citrus-like.
-You know? -It's got citrus in it.
Yeah, it's citrusy.
Win, lose, or draw, with all the damn obstacles
That he overcome throughout the whole thing,
It's a great job.
[digger] well, let's move on to craig.
Now, that's nice and clear.
It's the clearest jar.
[digger] it's eye-catching. It's got curb appeal.
He didn't get to cook his fruit down
Like he was planning on.
No. No. He didn't have any time.
So he didn't get the puree out of it.
[craig] I'm very nervous because when I heard them say,
"I don't like blackberries," and I got this in the pot...
Yeah.
It's like it's too late to take it back now.
No, yeah, you can't.
It's kind of...
Kind of just a liquor over there.
Yeah, it's bland, ain't it?
It's a little bland on the nose.
Yeah. I don't taste much...
I don't taste much alcohol there.
It's smooth.
It's smooth but yeah, I think you hit it right there, tim.
I think bland is the word.
Craig's got the prettiest jar on the table.
Yeah.
A lot of times, he just mushed strawberries
Up in it, you just got a cloudy
-Sloppy-looking. -Yeah, but it don't...
It don't age well.
If I was gonna pick up one, if I could only buy one
And then three was sitting on the shelf
Just by appearance only, I'd buy craig's.
Yeah.
And last but not the least,
Killer beaz.
That looks like a bloody mary that the ice had melted in.
[mark] I love grapefruit, so...
Well, you're gonna love this.
[mark] I don't know, the vanilla might outrun it.
He did put a lot in it.
I hope it's got enough vanilla
To outrun that damn grapefruit.
Well, vanilla.
It's vanilla and vanilla.
-It's good. -Tart...
It's like [bleep] a tart creamsicle.
I think it's... And it's got plenty of liquor in it, tim.
[digger] oh, yeah. It's got some horsepower.
You ain't [bleep] it's got some horsepower.
-Ooh, ain't... -[tim] I can't really...
I can't really tell. It's so smooth.
Boys, I'm telling you,
We got three good liquor men right over there
But we only got one true winner right here.
-Take another big sip of this. -Go get them.
Getting my courage up.
I'll be back.
-Cheers, boys. -Cheers.
[digger] all right, guys. Time has come.
Y'all did a damn fine job I'm here to tell you.
Beaz, I don't like grapefruit.
But...
Whatever you did
Made that taste like a creamsicle.
[mark] I'm the only one up here that loves grapefruit.
And I didn't taste much of it. I'm proud of you.
[tim] beaz, I would not buy your jar
If I saw it on the shelf.
But it has a outstanding taste.
It tastes really good.
It's smooth and it's got some alcohol.
It's got some kick in it.
Howard.
You came a long ways from where you started.
And I was kind of rubbing it in
About the gym sock
But you did a good job of fixing it,
Correcting it, covering it up.
I think you must've pulled another jar
Or more alcohol in it because it's got more alcohol.
Thank you.
Howard.
You pulled it out of the hat.
You was down the rabbit hole
From the get-go
And I'm really surprised at what you did.
I'm surprised how good it taste.
All in all, fine drink.
[digger] craig...
Had the prettiest jar on the table.
And it stood out like a fart in a church.
Flavor, really, really good.
[mark] craig. It's a pretty color.
That being said, it still takes
A certain amount of time to cook your fruit.
And if you don't have that time,
You don't have it.
[tim] okay. Looking at it, I would buy it.
I don't know if I could make a second one, though,
Just because of the proof.
That's all.
It tastes good and it looks good.
It's just the alcohol level is a little bit low for me.
[mark] great job, buddy.
Thanks.
[mark] regardless of who lose here today,
With that mac daddy torch,
You all are going to leave here
With two new friends.
And that's the reason I'm proud of you.
-Thank you. -Thank you.
[digger] like we said, fine job,
Each and every one of you.
Unfortunately, there can only be one number one.
And, beaz, you won the flap, brother.
Beaz.
[craig] all right, my man.
-Thank you. -Good job, man.
-Good job. -Good job.
[beaz] now, I get to say killer beaz,
World famous comedian, part-time swimsuit model,
And holy moly, master distiller.
[mark] beaz, I'll take this torch home for you.
You better get your torch, beaz, I'm telling you.
You know, I want the two still hands know today
That I was with, craig and killer beaz,
I may have lost but I came with two great friends.
-Great job. -You guys, thank you.
-Thank you, guys. -[craig] see you guys later.
[mark] I'm proud of all them guys.
Exactly. That's what it's all about.
Let's go out and see if they'll give us
Another little drink with them.
-I believe they will. -Yeah, yeah, yeah.
[tim] I'd like to mix all three of them together.
-[mark] oh, my. -[tim] yeah, yeah, yeah.