(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(WINDOW CREAKS)
Penny, where have you been, young lady?
Out.
Wrong answer, baby. You better change your tone.
-Who were you with? -Friends.
I'm tryna help you, baby girl.
Penny, do you know what time it is?
Get off my case. I'm not a kid anymore.
What did you... Let me at her.
-(YELLS) Run, baby girl! -Let me at her! Let me go!
Let me go, Oscar! Let me go! You better let me go!
(SIGHS) What's going on with that girl, Oscar?
For the past month, she's been acting like
she can just come and go whenever she feels like it.
I don't know. Hormones. (CHUCKLES)
If she keeps acting like this, I finally get to get that home gym. Ha.
(SINGING) The... Proud... Family... What?
You and me will always be tight
Family every day and every night
Even when you start acting like a fool
You know that I'm loving every single thing you do
I know I can always be myself
When I'm with you more than anybody else
Every single day that I'm headed off to school
You know there's no one I love as much as you
-The family -The family
Proud family
They'll make you scream!
They'll make you wanna sing!
It's a family thing, a family A proud, proud family
Proud family
They'll push your buttons!
They'll make you wanna hug 'em
A family, family Proud, proud family
Proud, Proud family
(OSCAR SCREAMS)
(CELLPHONE BEEPS MUSICALLY)
-(TYPING) -(CELL PHONE BEEPS)
(CELLPHONE BEEPS MUSICALLY)
(CECE AND BEBE LAUGHING)
Penny, I need you to change the twins before you go to school.
But I'm doing something.
Put the phone down and do what I tell you.
You better listen, baby girl.
In case you haven't noticed, she got a frying pan in her hand.
-(CECE AND BEBE BABBLING) -(GRUNTS)
I can't wait to move outta here.
-What are you mumbling about? -Nothing.
(CHOMPING)
(GULPS)
(PLATE SQUEAKS)
(BEBE LAUGHS)
-Oscar? -Hold on, Trudy.
I'm calling Big Four Sports right now.
Hello, I'd like to order the new home gym.
(SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
(BROTHER KWAME CHUCKLES)
-(STUDENTS WHISPERING) -I'm glad you can join us, Sister Proud.
This is the fourth time this week you've been late.
Brother Kwame, didn't you tell us to change things,
that we have to break the Man's rules?
Yeah, the Man's rules, not mine.
One more tardy and you've got detention.
STUDENTS: (EXCLAIMING) Ooh!
Okay, okay. That's enough.
I know what you tryna do, Penny.
Yeah. Ever since Brother Kwame took over detention, there's a waitlist.
Get in line, Proud.
Everyone, your reports, you can email 'em now.
What report? What is he talking about?
You were supposed to do a ten-page report
on the family member that influenced you the most.
I couldn't decide between my two dads, so...
I wrote about both of 'em.
I wrote about myself, because I'm my own inspiration.
Oh, wow. I forgot.
I was out late with Kareem last night.
On a school night?
(CHUCKLES)
Doing what?
Yeah, girl, spill the tea.
Uh-uh, ladies don't kiss and tell, okay? (CHUCKLES)
But Kareem does. (LAUGHS)
STUDENTS: (EXCLAIMING) Ooh!
Look at you, Miss Penny Proud, a budding Kardashian.
I am not mad at you.
Sister Proud, I don't see your report in my inbox.
Psst.
Dijonay, can I copy your paper?
I can't believe it.
You wanna copy from me?
(CRYING)
I've been waitin' for this all my life.
(SNIFFLES) The day when Penny Proud finally needed me.
Come on, let's post a selfie.
Will you just press send?
It's all yours.
(PHONE BUZZING)
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
BROTHER KWAME: Sister Proud,
would you please approach my desk?
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
Yes, Brother Kwame? Is something wrong?
If you're going to copy a report, Sister Proud,
I recommend you read it first.
-STUDENTS: (EXCLAIMING) Ooh! -(BOY SNICKERING)
BROTHER KWAME: You've got that detention.
STUDENTS: Ooh!
(BOTH SLURPING)
(YELLING) Last call for ice cream, y'all!
Au contraire, lil' Susie.
Wizard Kelly's Sweet Flavors is open as long as the customers got their money.
Then you close up! I've got homework.
Uh-oh!
Well, guess what? I've got your last check.
(WHISPERS) You're fired.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
You wanna get another scoop?
No, I've gotta get home.
My parents were really mad about last night.
Well, you should do what I do.
-What's that? -Ignore them.
(CHUCKLES)
I can't do that. I'm allergic to cardboard boxes.
I'd live in a ditch, as long as you and I were together.
Yeah, I would, too.
But my parents would kill me and... (INHALES SHARPLY)
I think I like living, Penny.
(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
Speaking of which, I gotta go. (CHUCKLES)
I'll see you tomorrow.
-Come on, Penny. I gotta go. -(CELL PHONE BUZZING)
My parents are tracking my phone right now.
(DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES)
WIZARD: Aw. (TUTS)
I am so sorry your date left, Miss Proud.
But you still have a date with this here bill, y'all.
PENNY: Thirty-five dollars?
For two scoops of ice cream and some stale sprinkles?
Zang!
(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
(GRUNTING)
(KEYS JANGLING)
PENNY: Zang!
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Hey, Mama. Open the door. Something's wrong with my key.
Nothing's wrong with your key. We changed the locks.
Changed the locks?
Why?
(BEEPS)
TRUDY: You were supposed to be home by 8:00.
I was doing homework with friends.
TRUDY: Okay, well, Mr. Washington called
and said you haven't done any homework in two weeks!
Huh?
Daddy!
OSCAR: I'm sorry, baby girl. She didn't give me a key!
Well, what am I supposed to do?
TRUDY: I don't know. You're grown, figure it out.
(WHINING) Oh, come on, guys.
Stop playing.
Come on, man!
Guys, come on, this isn't funny!
Mama! Daddy!
(OSCAR YELPS)
(SNIFFLES) Bebe? Cece?
-Uh, bye! -(CECE LAUGHS)
(CRYING) Somebody!
(CRIES)
Man, this is messed up.
-(DOOR CREAKS) -Psst.
Baby girl, here's some money for bus fare.
Go to Suga Mama's. It'll be worse than here.
I mean, way worse than here, but at least you'll be inside.
TRUDY: Oscar!
I gotta go. Keep your head up, baby girl.
(HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING)
(BREATHING HEAVILY)
(SCREAMS)
(MUSIC STOPS)
(SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY)
(DISTORTED) Wait, wait. Sorry, Penny.
Baby, I didn't know you were there.
I was getting ready for bed.
I need this mask to sleep. You know I got sleep apnea.
What is that on your eyes, Suga Mama?
Oh, these snails, baby.
They're good for hydration.
(NORMAL) Got a little tip from that Makeup Boy.
So, what you doing out here so late?
Uh... I got locked out, and nobody's home.
Can I stay here, Suga Mama?
Oh, come on, baby. This room where you gonna sleep.
Suga Mama got it all ready for you.
(SIGHS) Thank you, Suga Mama. I knew I could count on you.
Oh, that's what Suga Mama's here for, sweetie.
(BED RATTLES)
No. Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
Nah, that's not for you, baby. That's Puff's bed.
(CREAKING)
(GRUNTS)
SUGA MAMA: You get your daddy's old bed.
-I gotta sleep on the floor? -(GROWLING)
You betcha.
That's what bad girls get. Your daddy told me everything you did.
(GASPS)
(DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING)
(THUDS)
(CROWS)
(SNORING)
-(WHINING) -(PUFF GRUNTS)
-Puff, stop it. -(GROWLING)
I'm tryin' to sleep.
That's what's wrong with you young people.
You're sleeping while the world is passing you by.
Get your behind up.
What? (GROANS)
-(PUFF YELPS) -I'm going back to sleep.
Uh-uh. No, you're not.
(CREAKING)
Come on, Penny. You're just like your daddy.
(SHOUTS) Penny!
-What is she on? Maximum strength Activia? -(SUGA MAMA LAUGHS)
(PANTING)
(PENNY BREATHING HEAVILY)
(GROANS)
(PANTING) Okay. What's for breakfast? I'm hungry.
Pancakes, eggs, bacon, grits,
French toast, and fresh squeezed orange juice.
(CHUCKLES)
What you sitting there cheesing for? You making it.
-Huh? -I like my eggs well done.
And Bobby, well, he likes his over easy, sprinkled with a little cheese.
-Gouda. And Puff? -(YELPS)
Puff likes his scrambled with bacon bits and those tiny little tomatoes.
I don't know how they get 'em so tiny,
but it's the only thing he'll eat.
I don't know what she talking about. This old lady got me twisted.
What did you just say, girl?
Now, don't you get me confused with one of your little friends.
Oh, no, no, no.
I was just saying that after we finish breakfast,
let's play Twister. (CHUCKLES)
(SIGHS) Hmm?
(GRUNTING AND CHEWING) Mmm-mmm!
(CHEWING) These are good, Ma.
(BURPS)
Excuse me.
(SINGING) I just wanna thank you for being my mama
(CHUCKLES)
Anything for my baby.
Penny, what you doing? Breakfast is over.
Time for you to bust them suds.
-Puff, you want seconds? -BOBBY: I do.
I do. I... Ma. Ma, I do.
(PUFF GROWLS)
(CHEWING AND GULPING)
(PENNY GRUNTS)
And when you finish that, I want you to polish the silverware,
clean the oven, and mop this floor.
Zang.
-What did you say? -I just said, "Zang."
Fine. Then you get to clean the "zang" rain gutters.
What... You know what?
And when you finish with them gutters, I want you to massage my feet.
(FLIES BUZZING)
The sander's in the garage.
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Oh, get the door, Kizzy.
Yes, Suga Mama.
(BEBE AND CECE GIGGLING)
(GASPS) Oh, Mama! I'm so glad to see you!
Daddy, I don't know how you grew up in this.
I'm about to go get my stuff.
Whoa, hey. Not so fast, baby girl. Where's Suga Mama?
Here I am. You got my Metamucil?
You're sure you don't mind checking on the house
while we're gone, Suga Mama?
No, not at all, baby.
Wait, where are you going?
To see my sister's new play in New York City.
I wanna see Aunty D's new play!
I'll get my stuff.
Don't bother. You're not invited.
(CRYING) Daddy, please!
You don't know what it's like here!
Like heck I don't. My advice is to duck and weave.
So, that's everything. We'll be back in a week.
Here are the keys.
All right, now. Don't y'all worry.
Bye, Penny. Take care.
If you're not here when I'm back, I know what happened.
And you make sure you behave yourself.
Have a good time now.
Traveling graces.
Mama, Daddy, please! I'll be good!
Please don't leave me with this...
(GROWLING)
This what? This what, Penny?
This... (SNIFFLES)
beautiful, intelligent
phenomenal woman?
I ain't stupid like your daddy, little girl.
And after you finish with them gutters and my feet,
I want you to clean up Bobby's room.
You gonna learn.
And the better you listen, the better we gonna get along.
(CRACKS LEASH)
(MENACING MUSIC PLAYING)
Now, here, go out there and take Puff for a walk.
And when you get back, wipe his butt,
wipe his feet, and give him a treat.
And just so you know,
I'm doing all this because I love you.
(SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING)
(MACHINE WHIRRING)
(EXPLODES)
(SANDER HUMS)
Oh.
But I had everything where I wanted it. Put it back.
(MAGICAL NOTE PLAYS)
(SUGA MAMA SNORING)
(KEYS JANGLING)
-(SCREAMS) -Ooh. Gotcha.
Ma said you would try this.
(SANDER WHIRRING)
Whippin' your butt is making me hungry.
Where's the food at, Suga?
(RINGING BELL)
(DOORBELL RINGING)
Hey, Penny. We're going to the mall. Let's go.
-(YELLS) Run! -Run? Run where?
(ALL SCREAMING)
And when y'all finish here, I want you to paint my garage.
ALL: Zang!
What did you say?
(GURGLING)
(GASPING)
(SINGING) Oh, praise Him
(SNORES)
Zang, Penny. Your Suga Mama is hardcore.
If she was my grandma, I would...
SUGA MAMA: You would what?
-You would what, Mayonnaise? Tell me! -STUDENTS: Ooh!
Run, y'all!
(STUDENTS SCREAMING)
(MUSIC ENDS)
(MOTIVATIONAL MUSIC PLAYING)
SUGA MAMA: Come on, Penny.
(CHUCKLES)
You got to keep up. Can't catch me. (LAUGHS)
You gonna let an old woman like me beat you?
Ow!
Butt, arm, leg, knee...
(GRUNTS)
Help me! Help me! Help me!
Oh, no!
(YELLS) Suga Mama!
WOMAN OVER PA: Doctor Williams to pharmacy.
Thank you, Dr. Payne.
Anything for you, Suga Bear.
She's gonna be okay, itty-bitty.
In about a month!
A month!
Well, who's gonna take care of my Bobby?
I can't do a dang thing in this thing.
I'm sure little itty-bitty will help out. But your boy is worthless!
Oh, that's messed up.
But it's true, fool.
Wait a minute, Dr. Payne. I don't know anything about old people.
Feed her three times a day,
and take her to the bathroom twelve times.
And Metamucil will do the rest.
Now, Suga Bear, you listen to everything itty-bitty tells you.
Understand?
Tell me? Not me.
She's the child.
You know what, Dr. Payne? You're right.
-I got this. -Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Oh, don't worry, Suga Mama.
I'm gonna take good care of you.
The same way you took care of me
(MENACINGLY) and my daddy.
You hear her, Dr. Payne?
(STAMMERS) Don't leave me with this crazy girl.
She's got revenge in her eyes.
(YELLS) Help! Anybody, somebody!
Bobby, do somethin'. Help!
(GRUNTING)
Oh, look here, I'll see you later. I got a gig.
Where you going, Bobby?
You can't leave me here with this girl.
Oh, Ma. Come on now.
I'm headlinin' at the Rotary Club.
You'll be fine.
(SINGING) Fine, fine, fine
On your own
Well, I guess it's just you and me, Suga Mama.
What can I get you?
I can get it myself. I don't need nothing from you, girl.
No, no, no.
Dr. Payne said you were not to move.
But Dr. Payne ain't here, child.
But I am. And you're gonna do what I say.
No, I'm not. You gonna do what I say.
(GRUNTS AND WHIMPERS)
All right, Penny. You win...
For now.
Look, Suga Mama. I was just messin' with you.
Nobody wins.
I know you're in pain.
And you'd never let me suffer, and I'm not gonna let you.
So, what do you need?
-Well, it's time for Puff's bath and... -(WHINES)
(GRUMBLING)
-(FARTS) I need to go to the bathroom. -(GRUNTS)
-Whoo! Suga Mama! -(FARTS)
(WATER SPLASHING)
(GRUNTING)
-(HAIR DRYER BLOWING) -(WHINING)
You do know he's a boy dog, right?
(IMITATES AIRPLANE NOISE) Ah!
Here comes the airplane.
(IMITATES AIRPLANE NOISE)
Now open the hangar.
No, I don't like it.
-(IMITATES AIRPLANE NOISE) -(CHOMPS)
Did you clean your room like I told you to, Uncle Bobby?
(SINGING) Oh, child
This is the way I like it
I guess you don't want these nachos.
(SNIFFS)
Give me that.
But where's my salsa...
(SINGING) And my jalapenos?
(NORMAL) Oh, no, no, brother from another mother.
You gotta get your...
(SINGING) Own
-(GROWLING) -(GRUNTS)
SUGA MAMA: Penny! I need to go to the bathroom.
Here you go, Miss Mamie.
I can cut your sandwich into a heart for you.
Maybe four small hearts?
Ooh! That sounds good.
I think I'll go five downtown in clubs.
If you've got five, partner, we can book six.
We're about to pull a Boston.
Look, Penny. You can't come here if you're gonna be talkin'
about other people's hands.
-It's bad enough with that dang dog. -WOMAN: Mmm-hmm.
Yeah. Don't make me call my grandbabies.
(QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING)
(DOORBELL RINGING)
What did I tell you, Penny? No boys.
Well, I guess I have to tell Papi to go home then.
I said "boys," not real men like my Papi.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(LAUGHING)
(SUGA MAMA SNORING)
-(FLIES BUZZING) -Ew!
Girl, whatcha doin' down there with my toenails?
Better not be messin' them up.
Took me 60 years to get 'em right.
All right. I'm finished, Suga Mama. Look.
Oh, thank you, baby. I love you, too.
(PECKS REPEATEDLY)
(CROWS)
BOBBY: It's one of those lame instruments.
It's a TV show. No, it's a movie.
Oh. It...
Oh, wait, it's a bad movie.
(HOWLS)
(SINGING) It's a scary movie
(NORMAL) All right. You got this.
(SINGING) The Mummy
-(GRUNTS) -Thank you, Puff.
And you better watch who you callin' mummy, dummy.
(SINGING) I said "Mommy"
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
-(LAUGHING) -(DOORBELL RINGING)
PENNY: Hey!
Mama, Daddy, you're back!
How was your trip? Did you tell Aunt D hello for me?
(CHUCKLES) See, Trudy. I told you this house of horrors
would bring her right back around.
Come on, baby. Let's get your things.
Oh, no, Daddy, I can't leave. Suga Mama needs my help.
Suga Mama, what happened?
Oh, I wish I could've seen it! Did you put it on Twiddle?
(SCREAMS AND CRIES)
No, but we're puttin' that on Twiddle, you twit.
Penny, what's going on here?
Suga Mama and I were exercising, but she fell down some stairs.
Dr. Payne said she couldn't move for a month.
So I've been taking care of her, Uncle Bobby, and Puff and, uh,
they need me.
Yeah, I don't know what I would have done without my Penny.
Okay.
But you're welcome to stay for dinner if you like.
I made lasagna with salad and warm garlic bread.
Lasagna! That's my favorite.
Come on, Bobby. Let's eat.
(SPEAKING SPANISH)
(PAPI LAUGHS)
Don't worry, Suga Mama. I already put a plate away for you.
Oh, thank you, baby.
(GRUNTS)
Well, Penny, I honestly don't know what to say.
I can't tell you how impressed I am.
You're like a different person.
It's like I got my daughter back.
(SIGHS) I hope you understand.
I was only tough on you because I love you.
I know, Mama. I don't know what got into me.
Hormones, child. (CHUCKLES)
It happened to me when I was your age, baby girl.
My mom reminded me when we were in New York.
Trust me, I was worse than you.
(LAUGHS)
Oh, sweetie, just know I love you, and I always will.
I love you too, Mama.
(CHOMPING AND GULPING)
Mama, you can walk!
Oh, it's a miracle!
Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)