1
00:00:10,679 --> 00:00:11,847
一切都進展得好快

2
00:00:13,599 --> 00:00:17,603
那你們想知道寶寶的性別嗎？

3
00:00:17,686 --> 00:00:18,896
不，我們不想

4
00:00:18,979 --> 00:00:21,815
不，我們要辦性別揭示派對

5
00:00:21,899 --> 00:00:24,568
很好，不過我在螢幕上看到幾個東西

6
00:00:24,651 --> 00:00:26,653
我想跟你們談談

7
00:00:26,737 --> 00:00:30,157
不…我們想辦派對之後再說

8
00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:32,534
你們的例子不適合這樣

9
00:00:32,618 --> 00:00:36,789
–我們的朋友可以等，我們就能等
–你們朋友沒有要生孩子

10
00:00:36,872 --> 00:00:38,290
別對我來男性說教那招

11
00:00:38,373 --> 00:00:39,500
我是女的

12
00:00:39,625 --> 00:00:41,418
把照片放進信封裡

13
00:00:41,543 --> 00:00:43,045
好吧，拿去

14
00:00:43,128 --> 00:00:44,880
–謝謝，走吧
–祝你們好運

15
00:00:44,963 --> 00:00:46,465
不

16
00:00:46,548 --> 00:00:48,217
好

17
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:49,343
好

18
00:00:49,426 --> 00:00:52,221
好，我們等待這一刻已久

19
00:00:52,304 --> 00:00:53,263
好，準備好了嗎？

20
00:00:55,808 --> 00:00:57,267
–天哪
–是男孩

21
00:00:58,101 --> 00:00:58,977
這是什麼？

22
00:00:59,061 --> 00:00:59,895
這上面說什麼？

23
00:00:59,978 --> 00:01:01,355
“寶寶有老鼠頭”？

24
00:01:01,438 --> 00:01:02,648
寶寶有老鼠頭

25
00:01:05,067 --> 00:01:06,568
但是怎麼可能？

26
00:01:08,737 --> 00:01:09,696
好

27
00:01:09,822 --> 00:01:11,156
九個月前

28
00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,075
–你能不能拿…
–真的嗎？

29
00:01:13,158 --> 00:01:14,868
–在抽屜裡
–好

30
00:01:14,952 --> 00:01:16,203
好，沒問題

31
00:01:19,873 --> 00:01:20,791
什麼？

32
00:01:20,874 --> 00:01:22,960
我好像看到什麼東西

33
00:01:23,418 --> 00:01:24,294
哈囉

34
00:01:27,673 --> 00:01:29,716
那隻老鼠不知道

35
00:01:29,800 --> 00:01:32,511
牠將在那晚成為家長

36
00:01:32,594 --> 00:01:36,765
那個孩子長大成為知名的迪士尼角色

37
00:01:36,890 --> 00:01:39,810
我不用說牠的名字，因為很明顯

38
00:01:39,893 --> 00:01:41,645
他們也不准我說

39
00:01:41,728 --> 00:01:46,900
事實上，我是收到迪士尼公司警告信

40
00:01:46,984 --> 00:01:48,569
最年輕的人

41
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:53,407
妳知道我對陰謀論者有個理論嗎？

42
00:01:55,075 --> 00:01:56,368
他們並不存在

43
00:01:56,451 --> 00:01:58,453
一切都是政府的陰謀

44
00:02:00,747 --> 00:02:04,877
我有一次把我狗狗的X光片
放在我自己的片子上

45
00:02:05,252 --> 00:02:08,672
看我的狗要是活在我體內會怎樣

46
00:02:08,755 --> 00:02:10,507
好，該安靜了

47
00:02:11,049 --> 00:02:13,135
妳生孩子不會太老？

48
00:02:13,218 --> 00:02:15,429
你裝孩子不會太老？

49
00:02:16,263 --> 00:02:18,098
大象剛降落了

50
00:02:19,099 --> 00:02:23,020
說到大象，牠們不忘記也不會原諒

51
00:03:15,322 --> 00:03:18,367
大廳的孩子們

52
00:03:34,341 --> 00:03:36,927
布魯諾龐茲瓊斯，開門

53
00:03:39,513 --> 00:03:42,432
法蘭切絲卡菲歐瑞，門沒鎖

54
00:03:42,516 --> 00:03:43,684
妳自己開門

55
00:03:45,519 --> 00:03:46,436
布魯諾

56
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:48,563
別這麼賤！

57
00:03:48,647 --> 00:03:51,274
別當這麼討人厭的女人

58
00:03:51,358 --> 00:03:54,194
我剛要去享受泡泡浴

59
00:03:54,319 --> 00:03:57,447
泡澡？不適合我

60
00:03:57,531 --> 00:03:59,908
我們好久沒做過髒髒的事了

61
00:03:59,992 --> 00:04:04,329
法蘭切絲卡菲歐瑞，我們昨天才做愛

62
00:04:04,413 --> 00:04:05,789
只有一次

63
00:04:07,249 --> 00:04:09,334
布魯諾，這是什麼？

64
00:04:10,127 --> 00:04:12,045
我希望你能解釋

65
00:04:12,129 --> 00:04:15,549
這是給妳的，親愛的，這是早餐，吃吧

66
00:04:15,632 --> 00:04:16,925
這是給我的？

67
00:04:17,050 --> 00:04:17,968
給我的？

68
00:04:18,051 --> 00:04:20,804
那麼布魯諾，馬上跟我做愛

69
00:04:24,099 --> 00:04:25,142
在地上做

70
00:04:25,809 --> 00:04:28,895
拜託，讓我先吃葡萄柚

71
00:04:28,979 --> 00:04:30,647
一堆藉口

72
00:04:30,731 --> 00:04:34,860
我兩個鐘頭前跟我的愛人做愛
我現在又想做了

73
00:04:35,485 --> 00:04:36,570
我殺了他

74
00:04:38,155 --> 00:04:39,156
我殺了她

75
00:04:40,991 --> 00:04:44,036
布魯諾，我們好像有問題了

76
00:04:44,453 --> 00:04:46,413
什麼？沒有

77
00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:50,125
別這麼誇張，我只是忘了關水龍頭

78
00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:52,586
布魯諾，我要人幫我清腳趾

79
00:04:52,669 --> 00:04:54,671
我也忘了浴缸裡的女人

80
00:04:55,213 --> 00:05:00,135
布魯諾，我們需要馬上去夫妻諮商

81
00:05:00,218 --> 00:05:03,764
法蘭切絲卡菲歐瑞，現在是凌晨3點

82
00:05:04,431 --> 00:05:05,474
不

83
00:05:06,933 --> 00:05:08,226
紐約可不是凌晨

84
00:05:10,103 --> 00:05:13,148
但誰這麼短時間內會見我們？

85
00:05:13,774 --> 00:05:14,858
我有個預感

86
00:05:18,111 --> 00:05:20,614
請見歐提斯梅丁奎爾醫生

87
00:05:20,697 --> 00:05:23,116
世界知名的性愛諮商師

88
00:05:37,297 --> 00:05:41,593
歡迎來你們的新家，餅乾和火花先生

89
00:05:42,844 --> 00:05:44,638
我從沒有過室友

90
00:05:44,721 --> 00:05:46,473
記得付你們那份房租就好

91
00:05:47,015 --> 00:05:47,933
可是老實說

92
00:05:48,600 --> 00:05:51,436
我家就是你家

93
00:05:53,939 --> 00:05:54,856
你們想玩嗎？

94
00:05:57,567 --> 00:06:00,028
你們說得對，繼續吃吧

95
00:06:01,696 --> 00:06:02,656
看看我們

96
00:06:03,323 --> 00:06:04,741
三隻酷貓

97
00:06:06,451 --> 00:06:08,703
你們說得對，兩隻酷貓，繼續吃

98
00:06:11,331 --> 00:06:13,458
餅乾、火花先生

99
00:06:13,583 --> 00:06:16,753
嘿，小貓咪，我只想說晚安

100
00:06:27,722 --> 00:06:28,598
真怪

101
00:06:37,315 --> 00:06:38,900
我聽得到你們

102
00:06:39,693 --> 00:06:41,319
我的寶寶們在哪裡？

103
00:06:52,372 --> 00:06:53,248
再一次，真怪

104
00:07:14,102 --> 00:07:15,103
天哪

105
00:07:17,898 --> 00:07:19,733
帕克最後遺囑和見證

106
00:07:19,858 --> 00:07:21,610
餅乾和火花先生

107
00:07:22,235 --> 00:07:24,070
真虧火花先生是我的最愛

108
00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:33,038
我想雇用你這樣的私家偵探

109
00:07:33,163 --> 00:07:35,498
是因為我要你追蹤某個人

110
00:07:36,124 --> 00:07:37,500
這就是我的職責

111
00:07:37,626 --> 00:07:38,668
我專門跟蹤人

112
00:07:39,461 --> 00:07:42,923
很怪，但我就直說了

113
00:07:43,006 --> 00:07:44,216
深呼吸，帕克

114
00:07:46,968 --> 00:07:50,513
我要你跟蹤我的貓

115
00:07:53,016 --> 00:07:53,934
好

116
00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:56,978
我聽到你說的應該是

117
00:07:58,647 --> 00:08:02,484
“很怪，但我就直說了

118
00:08:02,567 --> 00:08:03,777
“深呼吸，帕克

119
00:08:04,569 --> 00:08:08,406
“我要你跟蹤我的貓”

120
00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:12,827
這是很正確也很精確的模仿

121
00:08:12,911 --> 00:08:13,828
謝謝

122
00:08:13,995 --> 00:08:17,415
你的貓看起來像這樣嗎？

123
00:08:18,750 --> 00:08:21,127
對，幾乎沒兩樣

124
00:08:27,133 --> 00:08:28,051
哈囉，貓咪們

125
00:08:28,885 --> 00:08:29,844
我回家了

126
00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:44,150
–這不是意外
–對，警探

127
00:08:44,234 --> 00:08:45,235
我…

128
00:08:46,027 --> 00:08:48,697
我相信我那兩隻貓殺了這個人

129
00:08:48,780 --> 00:08:50,740
你幹嘛不早點來找我們？

130
00:08:50,824 --> 00:08:53,576
因為你沒先來找我們，你害死一個人！

131
00:08:54,452 --> 00:08:56,496
你認為還是那兩隻貓嗎？

132
00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,832
–也許
–聽著，牠們都這樣做

133
00:08:58,915 --> 00:09:01,918
牠們被孤單的老人領養

134
00:09:02,002 --> 00:09:07,090
非常孤單沒有朋友的人，通常穿拖鞋遊蕩

135
00:09:07,173 --> 00:09:10,093
非常孤單可悲的人…

136
00:09:10,176 --> 00:09:12,887
–然後像貓一樣猛撲！
–然後殺了他！

137
00:09:12,971 --> 00:09:16,808
天哪！問問我工人朋友菲利浦溫納

138
00:09:16,891 --> 00:09:19,644
溫納先生不喜歡你，我們問過他了

139
00:09:22,605 --> 00:09:24,899
嘿，我的槍不見了，貓拿了我的槍

140
00:09:24,983 --> 00:09:25,859
大家趴下！

141
00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:33,491
五分鐘後

142
00:09:34,451 --> 00:09:36,494
我找到槍了，我把槍掉在車子裡

143
00:09:36,578 --> 00:09:38,830
別自責，這種事是難免的

144
00:09:38,913 --> 00:09:42,417
你得弄那種槍套帶，所以…

145
00:09:42,500 --> 00:09:44,586
–我的槍不見了
–大家趴下！

146
00:09:49,799 --> 00:09:53,720
呼叫所有車子，警官倒了，貓開了槍

147
00:09:53,803 --> 00:09:57,307
嫌犯是拿槍的長毛波斯貓

148
00:09:57,390 --> 00:10:00,268
天哪，不！

149
00:10:08,526 --> 00:10:11,780
我想先問你們幾個問題

150
00:10:11,863 --> 00:10:13,573
–法蘭切絲卡？
–是

151
00:10:13,656 --> 00:10:16,743
妳想到跟布魯諾做愛會想什麼？

152
00:10:18,036 --> 00:10:19,204
他醜陋的雞雞

153
00:10:21,414 --> 00:10:22,874
為什麼醜陋？

154
00:10:22,957 --> 00:10:26,753
醫生，他興奮時雞雞會充血

155
00:10:26,836 --> 00:10:28,254
這很正常

156
00:10:28,338 --> 00:10:29,798
我們說的是很多血

157
00:10:29,881 --> 00:10:32,300
–來
–我已經有酒了

158
00:10:32,425 --> 00:10:35,345
血多到有時候會流血

159
00:10:36,888 --> 00:10:38,723
像陰莖聖痕

160
00:10:38,848 --> 00:10:42,936
對，所以醫生，我很難進入狀況

161
00:10:43,061 --> 00:10:45,438
老是一直想到嬰兒耶穌

162
00:10:45,522 --> 00:10:47,524
還有誰看過這根神蹟陰莖？

163
00:10:47,649 --> 00:10:50,777
只有我們和教宗

164
00:10:50,860 --> 00:10:52,654
–教宗
–還有朝聖者

165
00:10:52,737 --> 00:10:54,155
–朝聖者
–對

166
00:10:55,031 --> 00:10:59,744
布魯諾，你想到
跟法蘭切絲卡做愛時會想到什麼？

167
00:10:59,828 --> 00:11:02,580
讓我告訴你，醫生

168
00:11:02,664 --> 00:11:05,875
我會想到馬其頓的叛亂分子

169
00:11:06,751 --> 00:11:10,046
我會想我親愛的媽媽著火了

170
00:11:10,130 --> 00:11:14,759
我會想法蘭切絲卡的嘴裡多一副牙齒

171
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:17,512
你們試過色情片嗎？

172
00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:21,057
我年輕時試過一次，拍了兩百部片

173
00:11:21,141 --> 00:11:22,016
對

174
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:23,893
看色情片

175
00:11:24,477 --> 00:11:27,188
–用看的，沒有
–不，色情片很糟糕

176
00:11:27,272 --> 00:11:30,400
–不，有一次
–我們有看過，對，看過一次

177
00:11:30,483 --> 00:11:35,488
–我們有看過，我們不喜歡
–因為我們認為情色片很假

178
00:11:35,572 --> 00:11:38,116
很假，這個女的點了披薩

179
00:11:38,199 --> 00:11:40,827
送披薩的人來了，她就跟他上床

180
00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:42,620
沒人付錢買披薩

181
00:11:42,704 --> 00:11:45,457
他回披薩店會怎麼樣？他會被解僱

182
00:11:45,582 --> 00:11:46,958
–真糟糕
–很糟糕

183
00:11:47,041 --> 00:11:49,544
–她連披薩都沒吃
–對

184
00:11:51,045 --> 00:11:55,258
我認為問題可能是放鬆

185
00:11:57,135 --> 00:11:59,387
你們做愛之前

186
00:12:00,013 --> 00:12:01,764
有沒有想過做愛？

187
00:12:01,848 --> 00:12:04,434
–真的嗎？
–你認為這樣有用？

188
00:12:04,934 --> 00:12:05,852
對

189
00:12:08,146 --> 00:12:10,064
你們不介意我看吧？

190
00:12:10,148 --> 00:12:11,774
–我們堅持你要看
–對

191
00:12:12,650 --> 00:12:13,610
堅持

192
00:12:25,413 --> 00:12:28,249
–嘿，親愛的
–傑克，你提早回家了

193
00:12:28,374 --> 00:12:29,501
喝點酒

194
00:12:29,584 --> 00:12:32,128
–聽起來像個好點子
–是好點子

195
00:12:32,212 --> 00:12:36,049
也聽起來像很適合的點子

196
00:12:36,716 --> 00:12:39,302
因為我有個大驚喜要給妳

197
00:12:39,677 --> 00:12:40,803
真的嗎？

198
00:12:40,887 --> 00:12:42,764
什麼驚喜？

199
00:12:43,515 --> 00:12:45,892
妳知道妳一直看的那棟房子嗎？

200
00:12:45,975 --> 00:12:48,311
我買下來了

201
00:12:49,479 --> 00:12:50,355
乾杯

202
00:12:51,231 --> 00:12:53,691
–抱歉，什麼房子？
–妳夢想中的房子

203
00:12:53,775 --> 00:12:56,528
妳一直說的那棟房子？

204
00:12:56,611 --> 00:12:59,322
我真的不知道你在說哪棟房子，傑克

205
00:12:59,405 --> 00:13:00,490
親愛的，妳當然知道

206
00:13:00,615 --> 00:13:03,785
記得我們昨天經過那棟待售的房子

207
00:13:03,868 --> 00:13:06,871
–妳說：“不知道那間房子要多少錢”
–對

208
00:13:06,955 --> 00:13:10,166
我們現在知道了，要120萬，乾杯

209
00:13:11,084 --> 00:13:13,378
120萬元，你開玩笑嗎？

210
00:13:13,461 --> 00:13:17,006
我又不能殺價，我想要今天就成交

211
00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:20,051
那只是隨便好奇，那是閒聊

212
00:13:20,134 --> 00:13:22,220
當時聽起來不像閒聊

213
00:13:22,303 --> 00:13:24,055
幾乎像痴迷

214
00:13:24,138 --> 00:13:26,224
傑克，我們不能買那棟房子

215
00:13:27,016 --> 00:13:28,226
那太誇張了

216
00:13:28,351 --> 00:13:29,602
當然不能，親愛的

217
00:13:30,395 --> 00:13:33,064
–謝天謝地
–我們不能買我們已經買的房子

218
00:13:33,147 --> 00:13:35,358
–那就太誇張了
–哇靠

219
00:13:35,441 --> 00:13:37,735
我得跟妳老實說，進那棟房子裡時

220
00:13:37,819 --> 00:13:40,405
沒有開車經過時看起來那麼好

221
00:13:40,905 --> 00:13:42,323
對，小多了

222
00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:45,368
房子有很嚴重的結構損壞

223
00:13:45,451 --> 00:13:48,663
但我知道不買會讓妳心碎，所以…

224
00:13:48,746 --> 00:13:51,416
–乾杯
–別再敲我的玻璃杯！

225
00:13:51,916 --> 00:13:55,295
妳說得對，以後會有很多時間慶祝

226
00:13:55,378 --> 00:13:58,756
我們現在必須打包

227
00:13:59,716 --> 00:14:00,592
打包？

228
00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:08,474
對，新屋主想要明天搬進這裡

229
00:14:08,558 --> 00:14:10,059
你在說什麼？

230
00:14:10,143 --> 00:14:13,271
我得賣掉這間房子
才能買那棟新房子，對吧？

231
00:14:13,354 --> 00:14:16,441
老實說，我賣這棟房子的價格不夠高

232
00:14:16,524 --> 00:14:19,902
因為我是他們所說的“焦急賣家”

233
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:22,780
總之，我們虧了16萬元

234
00:14:22,864 --> 00:14:24,866
但這不完全是妳的錯

235
00:14:25,783 --> 00:14:27,076
傑克？

236
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:27,994
–什麼？
–別打包了

237
00:14:28,077 --> 00:14:30,038
–我們時間不多
–過來

238
00:14:30,121 --> 00:14:32,999
–我們只需要…
–過來

239
00:14:33,082 --> 00:14:36,252
–親愛的，我們真的沒時間…
–看著我的眼睛

240
00:14:36,336 --> 00:14:40,256
–但我不…
–傑克，我不離開這棟房子

241
00:14:41,007 --> 00:14:41,966
你有聽到嗎？

242
00:14:44,594 --> 00:14:45,553
但是妳得離開

243
00:14:45,678 --> 00:14:47,263
–我不離開
–但是妳必須離開

244
00:14:47,347 --> 00:14:48,431
–可是…
–不

245
00:14:48,514 --> 00:14:52,226
–可是那些人，妳會擅闖民宅
–我不離開這裡

246
00:14:52,310 --> 00:14:54,937
你得去解決這個問題

247
00:14:55,688 --> 00:15:01,027
哇，妳這麼忘恩負義害我有點嚇到

248
00:15:01,110 --> 00:15:02,445
我什麼？

249
00:15:02,528 --> 00:15:04,030
妳忘恩負義，珊德拉

250
00:15:04,572 --> 00:15:05,990
我是說，看看我做了什麼

251
00:15:06,074 --> 00:15:11,287
看看我做了什麼
我賣了這間我愛的房子

252
00:15:11,371 --> 00:15:13,790
我為了妳賣掉這間房子
我認為這樣很誇張嗎？

253
00:15:13,873 --> 00:15:16,376
當然了！但我還是賣掉了

254
00:15:16,459 --> 00:15:18,878
我是為了妳賣的

255
00:15:21,339 --> 00:15:23,007
妳瘋了嗎？

256
00:15:23,091 --> 00:15:26,135
–我瘋了嗎？真的假的？
–對，真的，妳瘋了嗎？

257
00:15:26,219 --> 00:15:29,013
我根本不知道妳現在是什麼人

258
00:15:29,097 --> 00:15:33,309
–也許我們該分手
–好，你這個小混蛋

259
00:15:33,393 --> 00:15:36,020
好，那間新房子留給妳

260
00:15:36,104 --> 00:15:40,650
因為我過敏，那裡又有黑黴菌
我在那裡連呼吸都不行

261
00:15:44,737 --> 00:15:46,239
地址是什麼？

262
00:16:07,343 --> 00:16:08,261
那感覺怎麼樣？

263
00:16:08,886 --> 00:16:11,764
我們做了做愛前的做愛

264
00:16:12,265 --> 00:16:15,560
然後我們做了做愛的做愛
然後很放鬆

265
00:16:15,727 --> 00:16:18,479
–幾乎沒有暴力
–而且沒什麼血

266
00:16:18,563 --> 00:16:20,022
謝謝你，梅丁奎爾醫生

267
00:16:20,106 --> 00:16:21,983
你挽救我們免於離婚

268
00:16:22,066 --> 00:16:24,152
對，讓我替你倒杯新的飲料

269
00:16:24,235 --> 00:16:26,654
對我連喝都還沒喝

270
00:16:28,448 --> 00:16:29,949
很高興我能幫忙

271
00:16:30,032 --> 00:16:32,493
我能借用你們的廁所12分鐘嗎？

272
00:16:32,577 --> 00:16:33,411
當然可以

273
00:16:34,996 --> 00:16:37,790
–你為什麼這樣？
–為了你即將做的事

274
00:16:37,874 --> 00:16:39,125
我要做的事？

275
00:16:39,208 --> 00:16:41,043
這是為了布魯諾，我錯過了

276
00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:42,879
我沒有抱怨

277
00:16:44,297 --> 00:16:45,715
只需要八分鐘

278
00:16:49,761 --> 00:16:52,472
那麼，法蘭切絲卡菲歐瑞

279
00:16:53,222 --> 00:16:56,142
妳準備好要真的做愛後的做愛了嗎？

280
00:16:58,394 --> 00:16:59,479
我現在準備好了

281
00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:10,031
我好熱喔

282
00:17:17,330 --> 00:17:19,290
北達科他急流市
姬莉安

283
00:17:19,373 --> 00:17:22,001
浣熊超可愛的

284
00:17:22,084 --> 00:17:25,296
但我每天看到很多被車撞死的浣熊

285
00:17:25,379 --> 00:17:28,633
讓我超難過的

286
00:17:29,717 --> 00:17:32,720
然後我想到了這個數學

287
00:17:32,845 --> 00:17:33,930
我就…

288
00:17:35,139 --> 00:17:38,267
我要是在這一小段公路

289
00:17:38,351 --> 00:17:42,104
每天就看到這麼多浣熊

290
00:17:42,188 --> 00:17:45,608
那裡有多少他媽的浣熊？

291
00:17:46,234 --> 00:17:50,321
大概有艘他媽的浣熊母艦

292
00:17:50,404 --> 00:17:53,783
在森林裡噴出浣熊寶寶

293
00:17:53,866 --> 00:17:55,743
在我家附近之類的

294
00:17:56,869 --> 00:17:58,579
嚇死我了

295
00:17:59,539 --> 00:18:02,542
應該也會嚇死大家

296
00:18:04,126 --> 00:18:07,964
然後牠們有那個小面具，吃你的垃圾

297
00:18:09,006 --> 00:18:12,510
《廳堂之子》之友311號姬莉安

298
00:18:25,106 --> 00:18:26,732
我在這裡一個鐘頭了

299
00:18:26,858 --> 00:18:28,359
目標在哪裡？

300
00:18:29,068 --> 00:18:30,695
放輕鬆，波特先生

301
00:18:31,237 --> 00:18:35,324
我很有信心，我們的目標不久就會出現

302
00:18:35,449 --> 00:18:37,201
–可是…
–我可不是付你錢

303
00:18:37,285 --> 00:18:39,370
對我說“可是”的，波特先生

304
00:18:39,453 --> 00:18:41,831
我付你一大筆錢

305
00:18:41,914 --> 00:18:46,168
監視你周遭的對話
等你聽到我們的目標

306
00:18:46,252 --> 00:18:48,546
說暗語，等他們這樣說的時候

307
00:18:48,629 --> 00:18:51,090
就消滅他們！懂嗎？

308
00:18:52,675 --> 00:18:53,551
懂了

309
00:18:56,262 --> 00:18:57,430
你知道的

310
00:18:57,513 --> 00:19:01,726
–那你要告訴我你在哪裡工作？
–對，我在政府工作

311
00:19:01,809 --> 00:19:03,019
這就是我的工作

312
00:19:03,561 --> 00:19:05,521
但你到底“屎”幹嘛的？

313
00:19:06,814 --> 00:19:08,232
你說“屎”

314
00:19:08,357 --> 00:19:09,358
有嗎？

315
00:19:10,109 --> 00:19:11,068
你說“屎”

316
00:19:11,152 --> 00:19:13,195
暗語
“他說‘屎’”

317
00:19:13,279 --> 00:19:14,322
他說“屎”

318
00:19:14,447 --> 00:19:15,281
他說“屎”

319
00:19:16,282 --> 00:19:17,992
他說“屎”

320
00:19:18,117 --> 00:19:19,327
他說“屎”

321
00:19:20,912 --> 00:19:21,829
大家都說了

322
00:19:21,913 --> 00:19:23,915
大家都說了暗語

323
00:19:23,998 --> 00:19:25,708
那就把他們全都殺了

324
00:19:26,375 --> 00:19:29,086
–可是…
–又是那個詞

325
00:19:29,879 --> 00:19:31,464
我的目標是誰？

326
00:19:31,547 --> 00:19:32,381
“屎”

327
00:19:32,465 --> 00:19:36,302
聽我說，波特先生
你似乎有很多時間

328
00:19:36,385 --> 00:19:38,763
重複對我說“可是”

329
00:19:38,846 --> 00:19:42,391
但顯然沒時間簡單利用

330
00:19:42,475 --> 00:19:45,227
我替你裝配的隱形武器

331
00:19:45,311 --> 00:19:47,605
並執行我們的協議

332
00:19:48,898 --> 00:19:49,982
下手

333
00:19:50,066 --> 00:19:52,777
你有聽到嗎？他說“屎”

334
00:19:54,487 --> 00:19:55,780
隱形槍！

335
00:21:01,846 --> 00:21:06,350
所有單位注意，嫌犯可能打扮成送貨員

336
00:21:38,632 --> 00:21:40,301
馬戲團音樂

337
00:21:52,313 --> 00:21:54,440
你完成了工作，波特先生？

338
00:21:54,523 --> 00:21:55,357
是

339
00:21:55,441 --> 00:21:56,358
很好

340
00:21:57,651 --> 00:21:58,569
過來

341
00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:13,042
別擔心，波特先生

342
00:22:13,125 --> 00:22:15,920
我的手很乾淨，不像你的良心

343
00:22:21,008 --> 00:22:23,010
你要的話可以數

344
00:22:23,094 --> 00:22:23,969
不用了

345
00:22:27,223 --> 00:22:28,057
可惡！

346
00:22:28,140 --> 00:22:31,102
我得知道我今天幹嘛殺一堆人

347
00:22:31,185 --> 00:22:36,315
因為他們自願說“你說‘屎’”

348
00:22:37,066 --> 00:22:40,361
那些庸俗的人做了選擇，他們現在就死了

349
00:22:40,444 --> 00:22:42,404
你殺了他們只是因為一個蠢笑話

350
00:22:42,488 --> 00:22:43,405
笑話？

351
00:22:43,864 --> 00:22:46,325
看看這個房間，先生

352
00:22:46,408 --> 00:22:49,995
我對我的洗禮不開玩笑的，波特先生

353
00:22:50,079 --> 00:22:54,333
每一次有低等人降到幼兒的水準

354
00:22:54,458 --> 00:22:58,963
反駁“你‘屎’幹嘛的？”時

355
00:22:59,046 --> 00:23:03,175
社會的基本結構就瓦解

356
00:23:03,342 --> 00:23:07,596
廁所幽默不是喜劇！

357
00:23:14,270 --> 00:23:15,729
所以他們都得死

358
00:23:16,689 --> 00:23:18,607
對，他們都得死

359
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:22,111
我希望你喜歡工作，波特先生

360
00:23:22,194 --> 00:23:26,949
因為你會殺掉每一個說

361
00:23:27,658 --> 00:23:29,201
“你說‘屎’”的人

362
00:23:31,704 --> 00:23:34,957
隱形刀，為什麼？

363
00:23:36,125 --> 00:23:37,960
你說“屎”

364
00:23:38,043 --> 00:23:39,795
我可以說

365
00:23:39,879 --> 00:23:43,966
我只是在評論這個現象，沒有贊同

366
00:23:44,675 --> 00:23:46,093
你做了什麼？

367
00:23:46,677 --> 00:23:48,053
你殺了我

368
00:23:59,106 --> 00:24:00,691
我有殺你嗎？

369
00:24:01,358 --> 00:24:04,236
還是我“屁股”暗殺了你？

370
00:24:04,361 --> 00:24:05,821
不！

371
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:22,129
屁股暗殺

372
00:24:32,514 --> 00:24:36,018
結尾？

373
00:25:28,112 --> 00:25:30,114
字幕翻譯：陳婷君

374
00:25:30,197 --> 00:25:32,157
創意監督
謝慧霓