1 00:00:11,305 --> 00:00:13,182 - Excuse me, sir, I have a message for you 2 00:00:13,223 --> 00:00:15,184 from the President, the Prime Minister, 3 00:00:15,225 --> 00:00:17,186 and all the doctors in the world, 4 00:00:17,227 --> 00:00:19,396 smoking is disgusting. 5 00:00:19,438 --> 00:00:21,607 - You're outta your mind! Smoking is the best! 6 00:00:21,648 --> 00:00:24,276 What's the harm? - What's the harm? 7 00:00:24,318 --> 00:00:27,196 Well, at least you're asking questions now. 8 00:00:27,237 --> 00:00:28,822 Okay, dumdum, 9 00:00:28,864 --> 00:00:31,325 time to rap-rap-rap-rap. 10 00:00:31,366 --> 00:00:33,202 - Huh? 11 00:00:33,243 --> 00:00:35,913 Knowledge Lesson, Taddli! 12 00:00:35,954 --> 00:00:39,958 - First up, no one is gonna wanna kiss your garbage mouth. 13 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,376 - Garbage mouth. 14 00:00:41,418 --> 00:00:44,254 - And next, look at your hand. 15 00:00:44,296 --> 00:00:46,590 - Huh? - And the other one. 16 00:00:46,632 --> 00:00:48,842 - Ah! - Why do you smoke so hard? 17 00:00:48,884 --> 00:00:50,177 - Uhhhhh. 18 00:00:50,219 --> 00:00:52,221 - No smoking. Okay? 19 00:00:52,262 --> 00:00:54,097 - Yeah, okay. Sounds good. 20 00:00:54,139 --> 00:00:56,099 - Taddli! 21 00:00:58,143 --> 00:01:00,103 Taddli! 22 00:01:00,145 --> 00:01:02,648 Average Weekend"] 23 00:01:57,244 --> 00:01:58,871 And then, I stepped out of the tub, 24 00:01:58,912 --> 00:02:01,373 and guess what? Once again, 25 00:02:01,415 --> 00:02:03,375 my bathwater was lukewarm. 26 00:02:03,417 --> 00:02:06,461 I don't want it lukewarm, I want it hot-hot. 27 00:02:06,503 --> 00:02:08,547 And then, I tried it five minutes later... 28 00:02:08,589 --> 00:02:11,174 and guess what? Lukewarm again. 29 00:02:11,216 --> 00:02:13,051 Not hot-hot at all. 30 00:02:13,093 --> 00:02:15,345 I come home every day at15 p.m. 31 00:02:15,387 --> 00:02:17,598 to take a bath in hot-hot water. 32 00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:20,475 15 hot-hot bath, if you will. 33 00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:22,185 I don't bathe in the morning. 34 00:02:22,227 --> 00:02:23,937 I go to work sweaty and smelling. 35 00:02:23,979 --> 00:02:25,522 Coworkers be damned! 36 00:02:25,564 --> 00:02:28,400 But here it is... 37 00:02:28,442 --> 00:02:30,944 at21 p.m., March 8th, 38 00:02:30,986 --> 00:02:33,196 Mr. Freddie Prince Jr.'s birthday, 39 00:02:33,238 --> 00:02:35,198 and my bathwater is once again... 40 00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,867 lukewarm! 41 00:02:36,909 --> 00:02:38,869 - Well, sir, I'm very sorry that this happened. 42 00:02:38,911 --> 00:02:41,204 I did send the repair man up there this morning, 43 00:02:41,246 --> 00:02:43,999 and I will send him again uh, tomorrow. 44 00:02:44,041 --> 00:02:46,335 - Good! You are the superintendent, 45 00:02:46,376 --> 00:02:49,087 and I expect results! Super results! 46 00:02:49,129 --> 00:02:50,714 I am so upset, 47 00:02:50,756 --> 00:02:52,883 I am going to hang up in the middle of my sent-- 48 00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:09,232 Ugh! Ugh! 49 00:03:09,274 --> 00:03:11,109 This is too heavy. Ugh! 50 00:03:12,319 --> 00:03:13,987 Too many tools and... 51 00:03:14,029 --> 00:03:16,031 Ah! Mother. 52 00:03:17,032 --> 00:03:19,242 That's good. 53 00:03:19,284 --> 00:03:21,495 I don't wanna be a plumber. 54 00:03:21,536 --> 00:03:24,081 Let's test this bugger. 55 00:03:29,962 --> 00:03:31,672 That is hot-hot. 56 00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:32,965 Ow! Ow! Ow! 57 00:03:33,006 --> 00:03:34,591 Oh! Ow! Oh! Ow! 58 00:03:34,633 --> 00:03:36,343 Ah! 59 00:03:36,385 --> 00:03:38,387 Oh! Ah! 60 00:03:40,472 --> 00:03:43,141 It's quite nice, this. 61 00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:44,810 I'd change the towels, though. 62 00:03:44,851 --> 00:03:47,062 Ah! 63 00:03:47,104 --> 00:03:49,648 Yeah, that was hot-hot. 64 00:03:51,066 --> 00:03:52,484 Bit lukewarm towards the end. 65 00:03:52,526 --> 00:03:54,319 Weird. 66 00:03:54,361 --> 00:03:56,113 And once again, 67 00:03:56,154 --> 00:03:58,073 I came home for my15 hot-hot bath. 68 00:03:58,115 --> 00:03:59,616 I was so excited, 69 00:03:59,658 --> 00:04:01,743 I almost took my clothes off in the elevator, 70 00:04:01,785 --> 00:04:03,328 in front of the Cohen twins. 71 00:04:03,370 --> 00:04:05,288 Identical twins! 72 00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:07,040 And here we are, 73 00:04:07,082 --> 00:04:10,043 at19 p.m. on March 9th, 74 00:04:10,085 --> 00:04:12,170 Miss Lucy Lawless' birthday, 75 00:04:12,212 --> 00:04:14,047 and my bathwater is once again... 76 00:04:14,089 --> 00:04:15,799 lukewarm! 77 00:04:15,841 --> 00:04:18,343 When you know full well I wanted hot-hot! 78 00:04:18,385 --> 00:04:21,304 - Uh, yes, sir, I'm so sorry, Mr. Harrison. 79 00:04:21,346 --> 00:04:23,682 I will send the repairman back tomorrow 80 00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:25,308 and make sure that he gets your... 81 00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:27,310 your water... 82 00:04:27,352 --> 00:04:29,980 hot-hot. 83 00:04:30,022 --> 00:04:31,732 - Well, we will see 84 00:04:31,773 --> 00:04:34,609 what this prize-winning repairman comes up with. 85 00:04:34,651 --> 00:04:38,363 I am so upset that I am not going to hang up for 3 minutes! 86 00:04:38,405 --> 00:04:40,240 - Don't eat! 87 00:04:42,784 --> 00:04:45,037 That was a good one! 88 00:04:46,371 --> 00:04:48,290 Hang on, this water was hot 89 00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:51,334 just a minute ago. Now it's become lukewarm. 90 00:04:51,376 --> 00:04:53,587 Funny that. 91 00:04:53,628 --> 00:04:55,380 - Mmm. 92 00:04:58,884 --> 00:05:00,677 - Could you tell me what that temperature is, please? 93 00:05:03,472 --> 00:05:05,849 - Quite cold. - Correct! 94 00:05:05,891 --> 00:05:08,477 And it was lukewarm an hour ago when I got home! 95 00:05:10,062 --> 00:05:12,606 - I want my water hot-hot! 96 00:05:12,647 --> 00:05:14,775 - Of course you do, sir, and I... 97 00:05:14,816 --> 00:05:17,027 again apologize sincerely, and... 98 00:05:17,069 --> 00:05:19,905 if the repairman does not fix your water tomorrow, 99 00:05:21,406 --> 00:05:23,408 then I will have him... 100 00:05:24,743 --> 00:05:26,578 killed? - Good. 101 00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:29,122 I am so upset that I am going to give you my towel, 102 00:05:29,164 --> 00:05:30,707 then go back to my apartment. 103 00:05:30,749 --> 00:05:32,709 - Don't give me your towel. 104 00:05:32,751 --> 00:05:34,711 Oh. 105 00:05:34,753 --> 00:05:36,505 - Oh. 106 00:05:39,925 --> 00:05:41,843 - Ugh! 107 00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,391 Ahhhh! 108 00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:51,603 - You are the repairman? 109 00:05:51,645 --> 00:05:53,647 - I thought you were a pile of towels, mate! 110 00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:55,232 - I am not a pile of towels. 111 00:05:55,273 --> 00:05:56,691 I am the owner of that tub. 112 00:05:56,733 --> 00:05:58,777 And you are ruining my water. 113 00:05:58,819 --> 00:06:02,072 You're not making it hot-hot, you're making it cold-cold. 114 00:06:02,114 --> 00:06:04,157 - But no, it's hot-hot right now. 115 00:06:04,199 --> 00:06:05,408 See? 116 00:06:11,915 --> 00:06:13,667 - It is hot-hot! 117 00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:16,670 Again! Again! 118 00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:19,047 Again! Again! 119 00:06:19,089 --> 00:06:20,465 In my eye! In my eye! 120 00:06:20,507 --> 00:06:22,759 - In your eye? - Again! 121 00:06:36,898 --> 00:06:38,859 Hey! 122 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,861 - You can't just put that in the garbage! 123 00:06:40,902 --> 00:06:43,280 That metal can is for the recycling! 124 00:06:44,906 --> 00:06:47,659 You got cans in your brain, stupid? 125 00:06:47,701 --> 00:06:49,452 - You're very rude! 126 00:06:49,494 --> 00:06:51,454 Time to rap-rap-rap. Education! 127 00:06:51,496 --> 00:06:54,124 Listen up! Taddli! 128 00:06:54,166 --> 00:06:56,459 - Okay, maybe I was rude, 129 00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:58,753 but so were you. - Huh? 130 00:06:58,795 --> 00:07:00,297 - Tells ya what. 131 00:07:00,338 --> 00:07:02,007 Why don't I teach you about recycling, 132 00:07:02,048 --> 00:07:03,800 and that way, you'll know! 133 00:07:03,842 --> 00:07:06,136 And then, everybody in the world won't shun you. 134 00:07:06,178 --> 00:07:08,346 - Okay, but I hope it's not too hard. 135 00:07:09,848 --> 00:07:12,309 - It's not! Unless having fun is hard. 136 00:07:14,269 --> 00:07:17,314 And why just walk, when we can march? 137 00:07:45,217 --> 00:07:47,219 Put it in! - Ha! 138 00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:51,264 - You just saved the planet! - I did?! 139 00:07:51,306 --> 00:07:53,350 - Taddli! 140 00:07:53,391 --> 00:07:54,517 - Yay! 141 00:07:54,559 --> 00:07:58,104 Taddli! 142 00:08:06,029 --> 00:08:08,365 - Well, today's the big day. - Hmm. 143 00:08:08,406 --> 00:08:10,367 - It's not often a man gets horribly disfigured 144 00:08:10,408 --> 00:08:13,620 in a squash accident and goes into a 20-year coma. 145 00:08:13,662 --> 00:08:15,830 - It's quite rare, isn't it? - Mm-hmm. 146 00:08:15,872 --> 00:08:18,375 - And he's cured? - Well, we hope so. 147 00:08:18,416 --> 00:08:19,668 We need this bed! 148 00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:29,636 Old friend. 149 00:08:33,056 --> 00:08:35,392 Hmm. 150 00:08:47,612 --> 00:08:49,572 Is this really the last cassette I bought? 151 00:08:56,454 --> 00:08:58,415 - Hmm, so many masks. Even though I've been gone 152 00:08:58,456 --> 00:09:01,251 a long time, clearly, I've not been forgotten. 153 00:09:03,253 --> 00:09:06,172 Juice bar? - Namaste. 154 00:09:06,214 --> 00:09:07,632 What'll it be for you today? 155 00:09:07,674 --> 00:09:09,592 A cold drink? 156 00:09:09,634 --> 00:09:12,929 - All I crave is the warm elixir of my opponent's tears. 157 00:09:12,971 --> 00:09:15,015 - Huh. 158 00:09:15,056 --> 00:09:17,142 - Woo! 159 00:09:19,978 --> 00:09:22,647 I'm still... The Eradicator! 160 00:09:22,689 --> 00:09:24,399 Ha! 161 00:09:26,151 --> 00:09:27,736 - Who ya playin'? 162 00:09:30,238 --> 00:09:31,614 - A symbol? 163 00:09:31,656 --> 00:09:33,908 - What court you playin' on? 164 00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:36,077 - Just says "Look behind you". 165 00:09:37,912 --> 00:09:39,497 Ow! 166 00:09:39,539 --> 00:09:41,458 - Oh, are you okay? 167 00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:48,715 - Whoa! This ball is super old! 168 00:09:48,757 --> 00:09:51,176 Eradicator! 169 00:09:52,385 --> 00:09:54,679 - What was that? - The game is nigh. 170 00:09:55,722 --> 00:09:58,141 I smell success! 171 00:09:58,183 --> 00:10:00,393 Therefore, you must smell defeat! 172 00:10:00,435 --> 00:10:03,146 The Eradicator always eradicates. 173 00:10:03,188 --> 00:10:05,106 That's how I got my name. 174 00:10:05,148 --> 00:10:07,650 It seems to make sense to me. 175 00:10:07,692 --> 00:10:11,154 You are being lured by the world's oldest trick. 176 00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:13,865 The Walkman. 177 00:10:13,907 --> 00:10:17,035 I'm where you least expect me. I'm up here! 178 00:10:22,707 --> 00:10:24,542 That's harder than it looks. 179 00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:26,211 I am ready. 180 00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:28,380 - Cool outfit. Uh, Lululemon? 181 00:10:28,421 --> 00:10:30,382 - Do not mock me. You are a weakling. 182 00:10:30,423 --> 00:10:33,426 Your arms have no shape. Not like mine. 183 00:10:33,468 --> 00:10:35,011 - Hey, not cool. 184 00:10:35,053 --> 00:10:37,806 - You do not understand. I was in a coma for 20 years. 185 00:10:37,847 --> 00:10:39,974 Luckily, the nurses had the foresight 186 00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:43,061 to exercise my body. So now, I am ready. 187 00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:46,022 - We just gotta do one thing before we start. 188 00:10:46,064 --> 00:10:47,399 - Huh? 189 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,150 - I gotta snap a selfie for the 'gram. 190 00:10:49,192 --> 00:10:51,611 - I'll snap you for the 'gram! Once I learn what that is. 191 00:10:56,616 --> 00:10:58,535 You are slightly taller than me. 192 00:10:58,576 --> 00:11:01,162 That does not worry... The Eradicator! 193 00:11:01,204 --> 00:11:03,248 It is time to play squash. 194 00:11:03,289 --> 00:11:04,999 You will be... 195 00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:07,836 eradicated. 196 00:11:23,393 --> 00:11:25,562 Another pathetic try. 197 00:11:25,603 --> 00:11:27,856 Although, trying doesn't count. - Uh. 198 00:11:27,897 --> 00:11:29,732 - I guess it's now time for... 199 00:11:29,774 --> 00:11:31,818 match point! 200 00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:34,070 - 'K, but we don't keep scores on the squash ladder. 201 00:11:34,112 --> 00:11:35,613 - What? 202 00:11:35,655 --> 00:11:37,365 - People were finding it got a little too competitive. 203 00:11:37,407 --> 00:11:39,075 - I...I... 204 00:11:39,117 --> 00:11:40,869 - Excuse me? - Yes? 205 00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:42,620 - Are you almost finished? 206 00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:43,997 We have this space booked for meditation. 207 00:11:44,038 --> 00:11:45,623 - We're playing sports! 208 00:11:45,665 --> 00:11:47,459 - Is one of you wearing deodorant? 209 00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,294 - I did put on some Old Spice. 210 00:11:49,335 --> 00:11:51,880 - Right, this is actually a scent-free space now. 211 00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:53,798 - Get out and let me win! 212 00:11:54,883 --> 00:11:57,469 - Dude, you're the "C" word. 213 00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:59,554 Competitive. 214 00:11:59,596 --> 00:12:01,181 - C also stands for coward! 215 00:12:03,308 --> 00:12:05,477 I guess we'll call it a draw. 216 00:12:06,561 --> 00:12:09,397 Times have changed, but not my love of competition. 217 00:12:09,439 --> 00:12:13,234 My new mission is to reinstate the squash ladder. 218 00:12:13,276 --> 00:12:15,236 Hoo! 219 00:12:15,278 --> 00:12:17,947 Soon, others will join me. 220 00:12:17,989 --> 00:12:21,534 An army of competitors, comfortable with their rage. 221 00:12:21,576 --> 00:12:24,579 The weak will cower in fear when they hear my name. 222 00:12:24,621 --> 00:12:26,789 The Eradicator-r-r-! 223 00:12:34,839 --> 00:12:37,091 Hey, no, no, kids. 224 00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,885 There's no dancing today. 225 00:12:38,927 --> 00:12:41,137 Come on, today is Wednesday. Stop! 226 00:12:42,597 --> 00:12:44,807 You know there's only dancing on Tuesday. 227 00:12:44,849 --> 00:12:46,643 Oh. That's right. 228 00:12:46,684 --> 00:12:49,562 - 'Cause there's no dancing on Wednesdays. 229 00:12:51,231 --> 00:12:53,691 Taddli? - Okay, wait, stop this. 230 00:12:53,733 --> 00:12:55,652 Something's wrong. 231 00:12:56,653 --> 00:12:57,946 - Cut! 232 00:12:59,364 --> 00:13:01,157 What's wrong, Taddli? - It's the script. 233 00:13:01,199 --> 00:13:04,077 It makes no sense. I'm gonna go talk to the writers. 234 00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:05,995 - Okay. Taddli, are we gonna get paid? 235 00:13:06,037 --> 00:13:08,206 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Okay. 236 00:13:12,544 --> 00:13:14,587 Taddli? 237 00:13:14,629 --> 00:13:16,381 - Okay, writers. 238 00:13:16,422 --> 00:13:18,841 What the turnip is going on? 239 00:13:18,883 --> 00:13:21,386 This script makes no sense! 240 00:13:21,427 --> 00:13:23,638 You guys embarrassed me out there! 241 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,431 - But I tried my hardest. 242 00:13:25,473 --> 00:13:27,183 - And I used all my best pens. 243 00:13:27,225 --> 00:13:29,102 - Maybe the problem is my computer. 244 00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:31,854 - Oh. Nice try, guys. 245 00:13:31,896 --> 00:13:33,982 - Taddli, calm down. 246 00:13:34,023 --> 00:13:36,526 - Yeah, be nice! 247 00:13:36,568 --> 00:13:39,362 - But I don't understand! 248 00:13:39,404 --> 00:13:42,865 You guys are the most inclusive group of writers ever! 249 00:13:42,907 --> 00:13:45,868 I mean, you're a writer with glasses. 250 00:13:45,910 --> 00:13:48,121 And you're a writer who likes pickles. 251 00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:50,123 You're a writer from America. 252 00:13:50,164 --> 00:13:52,625 You're a writer with hiccups. 253 00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:56,170 - Oh, and you're a writer I keep forgetting. 254 00:13:56,212 --> 00:13:58,131 And you're the writer 255 00:13:58,172 --> 00:14:01,217 who never comes out from under the table. 256 00:14:01,259 --> 00:14:05,138 - Taddli, why do you set your standards so darn high? 257 00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:06,889 - Hmm. 258 00:14:06,931 --> 00:14:09,517 Time to, t-time to rap-rap. 259 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,728 Knowledge! Eyes front! 260 00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:13,730 Taddli! 261 00:14:13,771 --> 00:14:16,733 - Don't you see, if you set your standards high, 262 00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:19,319 then everything will be great! 263 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,070 Ohhhh! 264 00:14:22,614 --> 00:14:24,282 You know what? 265 00:14:24,324 --> 00:14:27,118 I played a trick on you. - Wha-? 266 00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,245 - This was today's lesson! 267 00:14:37,128 --> 00:14:39,380 - Taddli! - Yeah! 268 00:14:39,422 --> 00:14:41,215 Taddli! 269 00:14:43,968 --> 00:14:45,762 Friends of "Kids in the Hall" 270 00:14:45,803 --> 00:14:48,640 Number 221, Lainie. 271 00:14:48,681 --> 00:14:51,768 - Yeah, I met Kevin McDonald one time. 272 00:14:51,809 --> 00:14:53,936 One time, and he could not, 273 00:14:53,978 --> 00:14:55,813 he could have been a nicer guy. 274 00:14:55,855 --> 00:14:57,523 I think I have a picture of... 275 00:14:58,858 --> 00:15:01,110 him and I together. Okay. 276 00:15:01,152 --> 00:15:03,029 Oh. Um... 277 00:15:03,071 --> 00:15:05,698 ha, I don't think... 278 00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:07,367 this is not my phone. 279 00:15:07,408 --> 00:15:09,535 It was a really good picture, though. 280 00:15:09,577 --> 00:15:11,287 Friends of "Kids in the Hall" 281 00:15:11,329 --> 00:15:14,749 Number 221, Lainie. 282 00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,342 - Everything's fine. We're still together, 283 00:15:24,384 --> 00:15:26,469 we've never been happier. And if it does come up, 284 00:15:26,511 --> 00:15:28,262 you're leaving me for a man. 285 00:15:28,304 --> 00:15:30,723 - God, you are a stuck record. - Oh, gimme that. 286 00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:32,141 - Ohhh. 287 00:15:34,686 --> 00:15:36,187 - Is that our doorbell? 288 00:15:36,229 --> 00:15:38,773 Hey, Dorothy and Toto! You've got company! 289 00:15:38,815 --> 00:15:40,483 - Oh, it is us. - Oh yes. 290 00:15:40,525 --> 00:15:41,984 - Coming! 291 00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:46,239 Hi! 292 00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,075 - Welcome! - Curtis, George, how are you? 293 00:15:49,117 --> 00:15:51,703 - Oh, we're fine. We're so fine. 294 00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:54,247 We're a happy couple who are fine together. 295 00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:58,251 - I see. 296 00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:00,420 Peter, the place is so beautiful! 297 00:16:00,461 --> 00:16:03,047 You have done so much work! 298 00:16:03,089 --> 00:16:05,216 - Oh, Curtis, you have no idea. 299 00:16:05,258 --> 00:16:07,677 This entire place has been completely gutted. 300 00:16:07,719 --> 00:16:09,345 Yeah, I know what that's like. 301 00:16:09,387 --> 00:16:11,097 All your insides scooped out like a Jack-o-lantern. 302 00:16:11,139 --> 00:16:13,099 Fake smile carved on your face. 303 00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:16,227 - Very interesting. 304 00:16:16,269 --> 00:16:17,895 I must confess, 305 00:16:17,937 --> 00:16:19,439 the Professor and I are very happy here. 306 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,358 - Yes, so glad the dusty construction is over. 307 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,653 Now there's no more drilling unless I'm the drywall. 308 00:16:25,695 --> 00:16:27,405 - Oh, you! - Du. 309 00:16:27,447 --> 00:16:29,157 - You. - Gimme a kiss. 310 00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:31,159 - Kisses coming. 311 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,745 - Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! 312 00:16:33,786 --> 00:16:35,913 - 98, 99, 100! 313 00:16:35,955 --> 00:16:38,166 - He gave me 100 kisses. 314 00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,378 - Professor, where are our manners? 315 00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:44,630 Our guests are getting thirsty! - Oh yeah. Oh yes! 316 00:16:44,672 --> 00:16:46,883 I will do the cocktails. 317 00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:49,385 - Cocktails coming! 318 00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:51,512 - Hmmm. 319 00:16:51,554 --> 00:16:54,056 - Oh, Inge, I'm so sorry, 320 00:16:54,098 --> 00:16:56,184 did the sound of the gin wake you up? 321 00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:58,060 - Hmmm. - Oh. 322 00:16:58,102 --> 00:16:59,771 Oh, George, Curtis, 323 00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:02,398 I don't believe you have met my niece, Inge. 324 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,067 - Oh, look Curtis. A real girl. 325 00:17:05,109 --> 00:17:07,069 - Yes, I see that, George. 326 00:17:07,111 --> 00:17:09,363 - Inge is from Sweden. - Mhm. 327 00:17:09,405 --> 00:17:11,282 - She does not speak any English, 328 00:17:11,324 --> 00:17:13,659 but oddly, she does not speak any Swedish either. 329 00:17:13,701 --> 00:17:15,620 But she's here, at the university... 330 00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:17,497 studying obscenity. 331 00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:20,416 - Twat, pecker quim, fuckface. 332 00:17:20,458 --> 00:17:22,960 - She says that you are both very cute. 333 00:17:23,002 --> 00:17:24,629 - Oh, thank you. 334 00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:26,631 - I keep forgetting about our little Inge. 335 00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:28,424 All alone in the north wing. 336 00:17:28,466 --> 00:17:30,134 She mostly keeps to herself. 337 00:17:30,176 --> 00:17:32,094 And her many, many lovers. 338 00:17:32,136 --> 00:17:34,931 Yes, she is a most glorious slut. 339 00:17:34,972 --> 00:17:37,767 Not that you two silly queens would care about that. 340 00:17:37,809 --> 00:17:40,520 - Oh, I wouldn't be too sure about that. 341 00:17:41,813 --> 00:17:44,273 - Pussy whang poon fuck snot. 342 00:17:44,315 --> 00:17:46,317 - Hmm, really? 343 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,736 George, Inge is saying that she's intrigued 344 00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:50,655 by your simmering rage. 345 00:17:50,696 --> 00:17:52,573 - Oh, is that so? 346 00:17:52,615 --> 00:17:55,243 Did you hear that Curtis? - Yes George. 347 00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,662 - Cum guzzler gash cock trap. 348 00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:59,789 Pecker sneeze? 349 00:17:59,831 --> 00:18:02,166 - George, Inge is inviting you to take a tour 350 00:18:02,208 --> 00:18:04,418 of our north wing, if you'd like. 351 00:18:04,460 --> 00:18:07,004 - You know, I would just love a tour. 352 00:18:07,046 --> 00:18:10,466 - Prick prick. Cooter minge. 353 00:18:10,508 --> 00:18:12,552 - George, don't. - Tell me, Inge, 354 00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:14,262 is it true what they say about Swedish pussy? 355 00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:16,138 That it's cheap, but falls apart in a couple years? 356 00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:18,349 - George! That's IKEA. 357 00:18:18,391 --> 00:18:20,726 - Oh, is it? Is it? 358 00:18:24,605 --> 00:18:27,275 I suppose it is. - Cooter minge! 359 00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:29,694 - We might be gone awhile. 360 00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:36,492 - Oh, thank you. 361 00:18:36,534 --> 00:18:38,953 - Curtis, is there anything wrong with George? 362 00:18:38,995 --> 00:18:40,913 - Yes, he's a little upset 363 00:18:40,955 --> 00:18:42,582 because I've been seeing someone else. 364 00:18:42,623 --> 00:18:45,251 - So? It's normal. - It's normale. 365 00:18:45,293 --> 00:18:47,295 - Well, I guess it's a little different 366 00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:49,046 because I've been seeing a woman. 367 00:18:49,088 --> 00:18:50,715 - Oh, my God, I'm going to be sick. 368 00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,508 Quick, bring me a vase! 369 00:18:52,550 --> 00:18:54,594 No, no, one that matches my outfit! 370 00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:56,262 Never mind, I swallowed. 371 00:18:56,304 --> 00:18:58,180 How could you do such a thing? - Me?! 372 00:18:58,222 --> 00:18:59,932 Well, what about George? 373 00:18:59,974 --> 00:19:01,809 I mean, what the hell is he doing with Inge? 374 00:19:01,851 --> 00:19:03,811 - Would you like to see? 375 00:19:03,853 --> 00:19:05,438 - Pardon? 376 00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:13,446 - Wow. 377 00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:25,958 What's going on with you? 378 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,336 Gee! Come on! Just gimme a minute. 379 00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:32,465 It usually works. Come on! 380 00:19:32,506 --> 00:19:34,675 Here, put this on. - Hmm. 381 00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:39,347 - Over your breasts. 382 00:19:39,388 --> 00:19:41,724 Over the pussy. 383 00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:43,768 No, no I can't fuck my hat again! 384 00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:47,813 - Man pussy pecker sneeze? 385 00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:49,482 - Don't patronize me! 386 00:19:49,523 --> 00:19:52,318 - Have you seen enough? - Oh, God. Yes. 387 00:20:02,954 --> 00:20:04,330 - Well, that was fun. 388 00:20:04,372 --> 00:20:06,332 You betcha. 389 00:20:06,374 --> 00:20:08,501 Well, I better leave. 390 00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:10,294 Wait, George, don't go! 391 00:20:10,336 --> 00:20:12,838 Come to the couch. Everything is good at the couch. 392 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,799 Professor, isn't there something you can do 393 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,258 to save the dinner party? 394 00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:19,637 - Why doesn't everybody just sit down? 395 00:20:30,356 --> 00:20:32,358 George, Curtis, my lover... 396 00:20:33,859 --> 00:20:35,653 the psychosexual relationship 397 00:20:35,695 --> 00:20:38,698 between the alpha gay male and the beta gay male 398 00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:41,158 is a fascinating field of study. 399 00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:45,538 You see, when the alpha male feels that his relationship 400 00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:47,832 is being threatened by an outside force, 401 00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:52,128 it challenges his very masculinity. 402 00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:54,296 Now, often, when the beta male 403 00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:56,882 has taken another male lover, 404 00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:58,968 known as the gamma, 405 00:20:59,010 --> 00:21:01,721 the situation is easily remedied 406 00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:04,056 by simply inviting this third male 407 00:21:04,098 --> 00:21:05,850 into their relationship 408 00:21:05,891 --> 00:21:08,102 for, what we in academia call, 409 00:21:08,144 --> 00:21:09,729 a gay sandwich. 410 00:21:13,566 --> 00:21:15,359 But when the interloper 411 00:21:15,401 --> 00:21:17,486 is a female of the species, 412 00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:20,156 all sense of balance is destroyed 413 00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:21,699 in fact, it's so disturbing 414 00:21:21,741 --> 00:21:24,076 that we don't even have a slide for it. 415 00:21:28,164 --> 00:21:30,499 What we do know is that when this occurs, 416 00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:32,334 the alpha male will often seek 417 00:21:32,376 --> 00:21:34,545 to re-establish his domination 418 00:21:34,587 --> 00:21:37,465 and prove his potency by getting um, 419 00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:39,091 how do you put it, Darling, 420 00:21:39,133 --> 00:21:40,843 you know, some goose for the uh... 421 00:21:40,885 --> 00:21:42,928 - Gander? - gander, yes. 422 00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:44,847 - So, you're saying George's failed attempt 423 00:21:44,889 --> 00:21:47,099 at penetration with a linguistically-challenged 424 00:21:47,141 --> 00:21:48,350 foreign exchange student 425 00:21:48,392 --> 00:21:50,561 was just his way of telling me that he loves me? 426 00:21:50,603 --> 00:21:52,646 - Yes! It's science! 427 00:21:52,688 --> 00:21:54,607 - Mwah! 428 00:21:56,734 --> 00:21:58,527 - The Professor's done it again! 429 00:21:58,569 --> 00:22:00,738 - Yes, but there is one more problem. 430 00:22:00,780 --> 00:22:02,364 - What? What is it? What? 431 00:22:02,406 --> 00:22:05,159 - I've run out of kisses. - Oh, you. 432 00:22:05,201 --> 00:22:07,244 Kisses coming! 433 00:22:07,286 --> 00:22:10,581 - Mwah! Mwah! Mwah! - 98, 99, 100. 434 00:22:11,624 --> 00:22:13,793 I have 100 kisses. 435 00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:15,711 - Every night.