1
00:00:06,258 --> 00:00:07,801
[deep inhale, exhales]

2
00:00:07,843 --> 00:00:09,386
[Man coughing]

3
00:00:09,428 --> 00:00:11,263
[electronic music]

4
00:00:11,305 --> 00:00:13,182
- Excuse me, sir,
I have a message for you

5
00:00:13,223 --> 00:00:15,184
from the President,
the Prime Minister,

6
00:00:15,225 --> 00:00:17,186
and all the doctors
in the world,

7
00:00:17,227 --> 00:00:19,396
smoking is disgusting.
[vomit splats]

8
00:00:19,438 --> 00:00:21,607
- You're outta your mind!
Smoking is the best!

9
00:00:21,648 --> 00:00:24,276
What's the harm?
- What's the harm?

10
00:00:24,318 --> 00:00:27,196
Well, at least you're
asking questions now.

11
00:00:27,237 --> 00:00:28,822
Okay, dumdum,

12
00:00:28,864 --> 00:00:31,325
time to rap-rap-rap-rap.

13
00:00:31,366 --> 00:00:33,202
[chime]
- Huh?

14
00:00:33,243 --> 00:00:35,913
[singers] Knowledge Lesson,
Taddli!

15
00:00:35,954 --> 00:00:39,958
- First up, no one is gonna
wanna kiss your garbage mouth.

16
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,376
- Garbage mouth.

17
00:00:41,418 --> 00:00:44,254
- And next,
look at your hand.

18
00:00:44,296 --> 00:00:46,590
- Huh?
- And the other one.

19
00:00:46,632 --> 00:00:48,842
- Ah!
- Why do you smoke so hard?

20
00:00:48,884 --> 00:00:50,177
- Uhhhhh.

21
00:00:50,219 --> 00:00:52,221
- No smoking. Okay?

22
00:00:52,262 --> 00:00:54,097
- Yeah, okay.
Sounds good.

23
00:00:54,139 --> 00:00:56,099
[electronic children's music]
- Taddli!

24
00:00:56,141 --> 00:00:58,101
[dings, pops and clicks]

25
00:00:58,143 --> 00:01:00,103
[Children] Taddli!

26
00:01:00,145 --> 00:01:02,648
[♪ Shadowy Men: "Having an
Average Weekend"]

27
00:01:02,689 --> 00:01:09,655
♪♪♪

28
00:01:09,696 --> 00:01:16,662
♪♪♪

29
00:01:16,703 --> 00:01:23,669
♪♪♪

30
00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:30,676
♪♪♪

31
00:01:30,717 --> 00:01:37,683
♪♪♪

32
00:01:37,724 --> 00:01:44,690
♪♪♪

33
00:01:44,731 --> 00:01:51,738
♪♪♪

34
00:01:55,367 --> 00:01:57,202
♪♪♪

35
00:01:57,244 --> 00:01:58,871
[Kevin] And then, I stepped
out of the tub,

36
00:01:58,912 --> 00:02:01,373
and guess what?
Once again,

37
00:02:01,415 --> 00:02:03,375
my bathwater was lukewarm.

38
00:02:03,417 --> 00:02:06,461
I don't want it lukewarm,
I want it hot-hot.

39
00:02:06,503 --> 00:02:08,547
And then, I tried it
five minutes later...

40
00:02:08,589 --> 00:02:11,174
and guess what?
Lukewarm again.

41
00:02:11,216 --> 00:02:13,051
Not hot-hot at all.

42
00:02:13,093 --> 00:02:15,345
I come home every day
at 5:15 p.m.

43
00:02:15,387 --> 00:02:17,598
to take a bath
in hot-hot water.

44
00:02:17,639 --> 00:02:20,475
A 5:15 hot-hot bath,
if you will.

45
00:02:20,517 --> 00:02:22,185
I don't bathe in the morning.

46
00:02:22,227 --> 00:02:23,937
I go to work sweaty
and smelling.

47
00:02:23,979 --> 00:02:25,522
Coworkers be damned!

48
00:02:25,564 --> 00:02:28,400
But here it is...
[feet shuffle]

49
00:02:28,442 --> 00:02:30,944
at 5:21 p.m., March 8th,

50
00:02:30,986 --> 00:02:33,196
Mr. Freddie Prince Jr.'s
birthday,

51
00:02:33,238 --> 00:02:35,198
and my bathwater
is once again...

52
00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:36,867
lukewarm!

53
00:02:36,909 --> 00:02:38,869
- Well, sir, I'm very sorry
that this happened.

54
00:02:38,911 --> 00:02:41,204
I did send the repair man
up there this morning,

55
00:02:41,246 --> 00:02:43,999
and I will send him again
uh, tomorrow.

56
00:02:44,041 --> 00:02:46,335
- Good! You are
the superintendent,

57
00:02:46,376 --> 00:02:49,087
and I expect results!
Super results!

58
00:02:49,129 --> 00:02:50,714
I am so upset,

59
00:02:50,756 --> 00:02:52,883
I am going to hang up
in the middle of my sent--

60
00:02:52,925 --> 00:02:54,593
[beeps phone off]

61
00:02:55,761 --> 00:02:57,262
[feet slop gently]

62
00:02:58,555 --> 00:03:00,849
[bum squeaks on chair]

63
00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:03,518
[heaving sigh]

64
00:03:03,560 --> 00:03:06,688
♪♪♪

65
00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:09,232
[Plumber] Ugh! Ugh!

66
00:03:09,274 --> 00:03:11,109
This is too heavy. Ugh!

67
00:03:11,151 --> 00:03:12,277
[toolbox rattles]

68
00:03:12,319 --> 00:03:13,987
Too many tools and...

69
00:03:14,029 --> 00:03:16,031
Ah! Mother.
[toolbox crashes]

70
00:03:17,032 --> 00:03:19,242
[toolbox scrapes]
That's good.

71
00:03:19,284 --> 00:03:21,495
I don't wanna be a plumber.

72
00:03:21,536 --> 00:03:24,081
Let's test this bugger.

73
00:03:24,122 --> 00:03:26,041
[water gushes,
plumber breathes heavily]

74
00:03:29,962 --> 00:03:31,672
That is hot-hot.

75
00:03:31,713 --> 00:03:32,965
Ow! Ow! Ow!

76
00:03:33,006 --> 00:03:34,591
Oh! Ow! Oh! Ow!

77
00:03:34,633 --> 00:03:36,343
Ah!

78
00:03:36,385 --> 00:03:38,387
Oh! Ah!

79
00:03:38,428 --> 00:03:40,430
[relaxed exhale]

80
00:03:40,472 --> 00:03:43,141
It's quite nice, this.

81
00:03:43,183 --> 00:03:44,810
I'd change the towels, though.

82
00:03:44,851 --> 00:03:47,062
Ah!

83
00:03:47,104 --> 00:03:49,648
Yeah, that was hot-hot.

84
00:03:51,066 --> 00:03:52,484
Bit lukewarm towards the end.

85
00:03:52,526 --> 00:03:54,319
Weird.

86
00:03:54,361 --> 00:03:56,113
[Kevin] And once again,

87
00:03:56,154 --> 00:03:58,073
I came home for my 5:15
hot-hot bath.

88
00:03:58,115 --> 00:03:59,616
I was so excited,

89
00:03:59,658 --> 00:04:01,743
I almost took my clothes off
in the elevator,

90
00:04:01,785 --> 00:04:03,328
in front of the Cohen twins.

91
00:04:03,370 --> 00:04:05,288
Identical twins!

92
00:04:05,330 --> 00:04:07,040
And here we are,

93
00:04:07,082 --> 00:04:10,043
at 5:19 p.m. on March 9th,

94
00:04:10,085 --> 00:04:12,170
Miss Lucy Lawless' birthday,

95
00:04:12,212 --> 00:04:14,047
and my bathwater
is once again...

96
00:04:14,089 --> 00:04:15,799
lukewarm!

97
00:04:15,841 --> 00:04:18,343
When you know full well
I wanted hot-hot!

98
00:04:18,385 --> 00:04:21,304
- Uh, yes, sir,
I'm so sorry, Mr. Harrison.

99
00:04:21,346 --> 00:04:23,682
I will send the repairman
back tomorrow

100
00:04:23,724 --> 00:04:25,308
and make sure
that he gets your...

101
00:04:25,350 --> 00:04:27,310
your water...

102
00:04:27,352 --> 00:04:29,980
hot-hot.

103
00:04:30,022 --> 00:04:31,732
- Well, we will see

104
00:04:31,773 --> 00:04:34,609
what this prize-winning
repairman comes up with.

105
00:04:34,651 --> 00:04:38,363
I am so upset that I am not
going to hang up for 3 minutes!

106
00:04:38,405 --> 00:04:40,240
[spaghetti sloshes]
- Don't eat!

107
00:04:42,784 --> 00:04:45,037
[laughs, mutters]
That was a good one!

108
00:04:46,371 --> 00:04:48,290
[sucks air]
Hang on, this water was hot

109
00:04:48,331 --> 00:04:51,334
just a minute ago.
Now it's become lukewarm.

110
00:04:51,376 --> 00:04:53,587
Funny that.

111
00:04:53,628 --> 00:04:55,380
- Mmm.
[spaghetti sloshes]

112
00:04:57,382 --> 00:04:58,842
[water splashes forcefully]

113
00:04:58,884 --> 00:05:00,677
- Could you tell me what
that temperature is, please?

114
00:05:03,472 --> 00:05:05,849
- Quite cold.
- Correct!

115
00:05:05,891 --> 00:05:08,477
And it was lukewarm
an hour ago when I got home!

116
00:05:08,518 --> 00:05:10,020
- [sighs, exasperated]

117
00:05:10,062 --> 00:05:12,606
- I want my water hot-hot!

118
00:05:12,647 --> 00:05:14,775
- Of course you do, sir,
and I...

119
00:05:14,816 --> 00:05:17,027
again apologize sincerely,
and...

120
00:05:17,069 --> 00:05:19,905
if the repairman does not fix
your water tomorrow,

121
00:05:21,406 --> 00:05:23,408
then I will have him...

122
00:05:24,743 --> 00:05:26,578
killed?
- Good.

123
00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:29,122
I am so upset that I am
going to give you my towel,

124
00:05:29,164 --> 00:05:30,707
then go back to my apartment.

125
00:05:30,749 --> 00:05:32,709
- Don't give me your towel.
[towel rustles]

126
00:05:32,751 --> 00:05:34,711
Oh.
[towel flops heavily]

127
00:05:34,753 --> 00:05:36,505
[feet squish away]
- Oh.

128
00:05:38,173 --> 00:05:39,883
[Woman screams]

129
00:05:39,925 --> 00:05:41,843
[water ripples gently]
- Ugh!

130
00:05:44,554 --> 00:05:46,598
[grunts]

131
00:05:46,640 --> 00:05:48,391
Ahhhh!

132
00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:50,102
[towels rustle]

133
00:05:50,143 --> 00:05:51,603
- You are the repairman?

134
00:05:51,645 --> 00:05:53,647
- I thought you were
a pile of towels, mate!

135
00:05:53,688 --> 00:05:55,232
- I am not a pile of towels.

136
00:05:55,273 --> 00:05:56,691
I am the owner of that tub.

137
00:05:56,733 --> 00:05:58,777
And you are ruining my water.

138
00:05:58,819 --> 00:06:02,072
You're not making it hot-hot,
you're making it cold-cold.

139
00:06:02,114 --> 00:06:04,157
- But no,
it's hot-hot right now.

140
00:06:04,199 --> 00:06:05,408
See?

141
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:07,702
[hands tap on tub]

142
00:06:07,744 --> 00:06:09,621
[water ripples gently]

143
00:06:11,915 --> 00:06:13,667
- It is hot-hot!

144
00:06:13,708 --> 00:06:16,670
[water splashing, giggling]
Again! Again!

145
00:06:16,711 --> 00:06:19,047
Again! Again!

146
00:06:19,089 --> 00:06:20,465
In my eye! In my eye!

147
00:06:20,507 --> 00:06:22,759
- In your eye?
- Again!

148
00:06:22,801 --> 00:06:31,017
♪♪♪

149
00:06:32,978 --> 00:06:34,855
[spoon clangs on pot,
footsteps shuffle]

150
00:06:34,896 --> 00:06:36,857
[lid flops, can clangs]

151
00:06:36,898 --> 00:06:38,859
Hey!
- [screams loudly]

152
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,861
- You can't just put that
in the garbage!

153
00:06:40,902 --> 00:06:43,280
That metal can
is for the recycling!

154
00:06:43,321 --> 00:06:44,865
[electronic children's music]

155
00:06:44,906 --> 00:06:47,659
You got cans in your brain,
stupid?

156
00:06:47,701 --> 00:06:49,452
- You're very rude!

157
00:06:49,494 --> 00:06:51,454
[Taddli] Time to rap-rap-rap.
[Child] Education!

158
00:06:51,496 --> 00:06:54,124
[Taddli] Listen up!
[Group] Taddli!

159
00:06:54,166 --> 00:06:56,459
- Okay, maybe I was rude,

160
00:06:56,501 --> 00:06:58,753
but so were you.
- Huh?

161
00:06:58,795 --> 00:07:00,297
- Tells ya what.

162
00:07:00,338 --> 00:07:02,007
Why don't I teach you
about recycling,

163
00:07:02,048 --> 00:07:03,800
and that way, you'll know!

164
00:07:03,842 --> 00:07:06,136
And then, everybody
in the world won't shun you.

165
00:07:06,178 --> 00:07:08,346
- Okay, but I hope
it's not too hard.

166
00:07:08,388 --> 00:07:09,806
[chime]

167
00:07:09,848 --> 00:07:12,309
- It's not!
Unless having fun is hard.

168
00:07:12,350 --> 00:07:14,227
[chime, bag clatters]

169
00:07:14,269 --> 00:07:17,314
And why just walk,
when we can march?

170
00:07:17,355 --> 00:07:18,607
[chiming music starts]

171
00:07:18,648 --> 00:07:20,817
♪ Bum, bum,
ba dum ba bum ♪

172
00:07:20,859 --> 00:07:22,819
♪ Ba dum bum ba da da
da na ba ♪

173
00:07:22,861 --> 00:07:25,780
♪ Ba da na na na na na ♪

174
00:07:27,866 --> 00:07:29,576
♪ Na na na na na na ♪

175
00:07:29,618 --> 00:07:31,870
♪ Na na na na na na na na ♪

176
00:07:33,371 --> 00:07:35,624
♪ Na na na na na ♪

177
00:07:35,665 --> 00:07:37,792
[chime]

178
00:07:37,834 --> 00:07:39,836
♪ Bum, bum, ba dum ba bum ♪

179
00:07:39,878 --> 00:07:42,005
♪ Ba dum bum ba da da
da na ba ♪

180
00:07:42,047 --> 00:07:44,049
♪ Ba da na na na na na ♪

181
00:07:45,217 --> 00:07:47,219
Put it in!
- Ha!

182
00:07:47,260 --> 00:07:48,470
[cans clatter, chime]

183
00:07:48,511 --> 00:07:51,264
- You just saved the planet!
- I did?!

184
00:07:51,306 --> 00:07:53,350
[electronic children's music]
- Taddli!

185
00:07:53,391 --> 00:07:54,517
- Yay!

186
00:07:54,559 --> 00:07:58,104
[chimes and pops]
[Group] Taddli!

187
00:07:58,146 --> 00:08:02,567
♪♪♪

188
00:08:04,277 --> 00:08:05,987
[loud bang]
[Man grumbles]

189
00:08:06,029 --> 00:08:08,365
- Well, today's the big day.
- Hmm.

190
00:08:08,406 --> 00:08:10,367
- It's not often a man
gets horribly disfigured

191
00:08:10,408 --> 00:08:13,620
in a squash accident
and goes into a 20-year coma.

192
00:08:13,662 --> 00:08:15,830
- It's quite rare, isn't it?
- Mm-hmm.

193
00:08:15,872 --> 00:08:18,375
- And he's cured?
- Well, we hope so.

194
00:08:18,416 --> 00:08:19,668
We need this bed!

195
00:08:19,709 --> 00:08:21,378
[Man grumbling,
suspenseful music]

196
00:08:21,419 --> 00:08:22,712
[grumbling]

197
00:08:23,713 --> 00:08:25,882
[sinister music,
man grumbling]

198
00:08:25,924 --> 00:08:27,425
[doors squeak open]

199
00:08:27,467 --> 00:08:29,636
[Man gasps]
[Man] Old friend.

200
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,014
♪♪♪

201
00:08:33,056 --> 00:08:35,392
Hmm.
[hook rattles, man grumbles]

202
00:08:35,433 --> 00:08:38,019
♪♪♪

203
00:08:38,061 --> 00:08:39,604
[eerie exhale]

204
00:08:40,647 --> 00:08:42,232
[button clicks]

205
00:08:42,274 --> 00:08:44,109
[♪ Parachute Club: "Rise Up"]

206
00:08:44,150 --> 00:08:47,570
♪♪♪

207
00:08:47,612 --> 00:08:49,572
[Eradicator] Is this really
the last cassette I bought?

208
00:08:49,614 --> 00:08:51,241
♪♪♪

209
00:08:51,283 --> 00:08:52,617
♪ Rise up, rise up ♪

210
00:08:54,786 --> 00:08:56,413
♪ Rise up, rise up ♪

211
00:08:56,454 --> 00:08:58,415
- Hmm, so many masks.
Even though I've been gone

212
00:08:58,456 --> 00:09:01,251
a long time, clearly,
I've not been forgotten.

213
00:09:01,293 --> 00:09:03,211
♪ Rise ♪

214
00:09:03,253 --> 00:09:06,172
Juice bar?
- Namaste.

215
00:09:06,214 --> 00:09:07,632
What'll it be for you today?

216
00:09:07,674 --> 00:09:09,592
A cold drink?

217
00:09:09,634 --> 00:09:12,929
- All I crave is the warm
elixir of my opponent's tears.

218
00:09:12,971 --> 00:09:15,015
- Huh.

219
00:09:15,056 --> 00:09:17,142
♪ Rise up, rise up ♪
- Woo!

220
00:09:17,183 --> 00:09:19,936
[racquet swishes]
♪ Rise up, rise-- ♪

221
00:09:19,978 --> 00:09:22,647
I'm still... The Eradicator!

222
00:09:22,689 --> 00:09:24,399
Ha!

223
00:09:26,151 --> 00:09:27,736
- Who ya playin'?

224
00:09:30,238 --> 00:09:31,614
- A symbol?

225
00:09:31,656 --> 00:09:33,908
- What court you playin' on?

226
00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:36,077
- Just says "Look behind you".

227
00:09:36,119 --> 00:09:37,871
[feet shuffle]

228
00:09:37,912 --> 00:09:39,497
[ball pops and thumps]
Ow!

229
00:09:39,539 --> 00:09:41,458
- Oh, are you okay?

230
00:09:45,670 --> 00:09:48,715
- Whoa! This ball is super old!

231
00:09:48,757 --> 00:09:51,176
[Eradicator] Eradicator!

232
00:09:52,385 --> 00:09:54,679
- What was that?
- The game is nigh.

233
00:09:55,722 --> 00:09:58,141
I smell success!

234
00:09:58,183 --> 00:10:00,393
Therefore,
you must smell defeat!

235
00:10:00,435 --> 00:10:03,146
The Eradicator always
eradicates.

236
00:10:03,188 --> 00:10:05,106
That's how I got my name.

237
00:10:05,148 --> 00:10:07,650
It seems to make sense to me.

238
00:10:07,692 --> 00:10:11,154
You are being lured
by the world's oldest trick.

239
00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:13,865
The Walkman.

240
00:10:13,907 --> 00:10:17,035
I'm where you least expect me.
I'm up here!

241
00:10:17,077 --> 00:10:18,745
[crashes to ground]

242
00:10:18,787 --> 00:10:21,039
[body crashes, shoes squeak]

243
00:10:22,707 --> 00:10:24,542
[normal voice]
That's harder than it looks.

244
00:10:24,584 --> 00:10:26,211
I am ready.

245
00:10:26,252 --> 00:10:28,380
- Cool outfit.
Uh, Lululemon?

246
00:10:28,421 --> 00:10:30,382
- Do not mock me.
You are a weakling.

247
00:10:30,423 --> 00:10:33,426
Your arms have no shape.
Not like mine.

248
00:10:33,468 --> 00:10:35,011
- Hey, not cool.

249
00:10:35,053 --> 00:10:37,806
- You do not understand.
I was in a coma for 20 years.

250
00:10:37,847 --> 00:10:39,974
Luckily, the nurses had
the foresight

251
00:10:40,016 --> 00:10:43,061
to exercise my body.
So now, I am ready.

252
00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:46,022
- We just gotta do one thing
before we start.

253
00:10:46,064 --> 00:10:47,399
- Huh?

254
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,150
- I gotta snap a selfie
for the 'gram.

255
00:10:49,192 --> 00:10:51,611
- I'll snap you for the 'gram!
Once I learn what that is.

256
00:10:56,616 --> 00:10:58,535
You are slightly taller
than me.

257
00:10:58,576 --> 00:11:01,162
That does not worry...
The Eradicator!

258
00:11:01,204 --> 00:11:03,248
It is time to play squash.

259
00:11:03,289 --> 00:11:04,999
You will be...

260
00:11:05,041 --> 00:11:07,836
[mousey voice] eradicated.

261
00:11:07,877 --> 00:11:10,922
[♪ Gowan: "Strange Animal"]

262
00:11:10,964 --> 00:11:13,174
♪ Whoa ♪

263
00:11:14,968 --> 00:11:17,554
♪ Oh, you're a strange animal ♪

264
00:11:17,595 --> 00:11:19,139
♪ I've got to follow ♪

265
00:11:21,057 --> 00:11:23,351
♪ Whoa ♪
[ball pops]

266
00:11:23,393 --> 00:11:25,562
[Eradicator] Another pathetic
try.

267
00:11:25,603 --> 00:11:27,856
Although, trying doesn't count.
- Uh.

268
00:11:27,897 --> 00:11:29,732
- I guess it's now time for...

269
00:11:29,774 --> 00:11:31,818
match point!

270
00:11:31,860 --> 00:11:34,070
- 'K, but we don't keep scores
on the squash ladder.

271
00:11:34,112 --> 00:11:35,613
- What?

272
00:11:35,655 --> 00:11:37,365
- People were finding it got
a little too competitive.

273
00:11:37,407 --> 00:11:39,075
- I...I...
[door clunks open]

274
00:11:39,117 --> 00:11:40,869
- Excuse me?
- Yes?

275
00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:42,620
- Are you almost finished?

276
00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:43,997
We have this space booked
for meditation.

277
00:11:44,038 --> 00:11:45,623
- We're playing sports!

278
00:11:45,665 --> 00:11:47,459
- Is one of you
wearing deodorant?

279
00:11:47,500 --> 00:11:49,294
- I did put on some Old Spice.

280
00:11:49,335 --> 00:11:51,880
- Right, this is actually
a scent-free space now.

281
00:11:51,921 --> 00:11:53,798
- Get out and let me win!

282
00:11:54,883 --> 00:11:57,469
- Dude, you're the "C" word.

283
00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:59,554
Competitive.
[♪ Parachute Club: "Rise Up"]

284
00:11:59,596 --> 00:12:01,181
- C also stands for coward!

285
00:12:03,308 --> 00:12:05,477
I guess we'll call it a draw.

286
00:12:06,561 --> 00:12:09,397
Times have changed,
but not my love of competition.

287
00:12:09,439 --> 00:12:13,234
My new mission is to reinstate
the squash ladder.

288
00:12:13,276 --> 00:12:15,236
Hoo!

289
00:12:15,278 --> 00:12:17,947
♪ Rise up ♪
Soon, others will join me.

290
00:12:17,989 --> 00:12:21,534
An army of competitors,
comfortable with their rage.

291
00:12:21,576 --> 00:12:24,579
The weak will cower in fear
when they hear my name.

292
00:12:24,621 --> 00:12:26,789
The Eradicator-r-r-!

293
00:12:26,831 --> 00:12:28,666
[ball pops, glass shatters]

294
00:12:30,502 --> 00:12:32,837
[electronic dance music,
people cheering and laughing]

295
00:12:34,839 --> 00:12:37,091
[Taddli] Hey, no, no, kids.

296
00:12:37,133 --> 00:12:38,885
There's no dancing today.

297
00:12:38,927 --> 00:12:41,137
Come on, today is Wednesday.
Stop!

298
00:12:41,179 --> 00:12:42,555
[record needle scratches]

299
00:12:42,597 --> 00:12:44,807
You know there's only
dancing on Tuesday.

300
00:12:44,849 --> 00:12:46,643
[All] Oh. That's right.

301
00:12:46,684 --> 00:12:49,562
- 'Cause there's no dancing
on Wednesdays.

302
00:12:49,604 --> 00:12:51,189
[electronic children's music]

303
00:12:51,231 --> 00:12:53,691
[Group] Taddli?
- Okay, wait, stop this.

304
00:12:53,733 --> 00:12:55,652
[music stops]
Something's wrong.

305
00:12:56,653 --> 00:12:57,946
- Cut!

306
00:12:59,364 --> 00:13:01,157
What's wrong, Taddli?
- It's the script.

307
00:13:01,199 --> 00:13:04,077
It makes no sense. I'm gonna go
talk to the writers.

308
00:13:04,118 --> 00:13:05,995
- Okay. Taddli,
are we gonna get paid?

309
00:13:06,037 --> 00:13:08,206
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Okay.

310
00:13:10,124 --> 00:13:12,502
[light chatter,
running footsteps approach]

311
00:13:12,544 --> 00:13:14,587
[sighs]
[Woman] Taddli?

312
00:13:14,629 --> 00:13:16,381
- Okay, writers.

313
00:13:16,422 --> 00:13:18,841
What the turnip is going on?

314
00:13:18,883 --> 00:13:21,386
This script makes no sense!

315
00:13:21,427 --> 00:13:23,638
You guys embarrassed me
out there!

316
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,431
- But I tried my hardest.

317
00:13:25,473 --> 00:13:27,183
- And I used all my best pens.

318
00:13:27,225 --> 00:13:29,102
- Maybe the problem
is my computer.

319
00:13:29,143 --> 00:13:31,854
- Oh. Nice try, guys.

320
00:13:31,896 --> 00:13:33,982
- Taddli, calm down.

321
00:13:34,023 --> 00:13:36,526
- Yeah [hiccups],
be [hiccups] nice!

322
00:13:36,568 --> 00:13:39,362
- But I don't understand!

323
00:13:39,404 --> 00:13:42,865
You guys are the most inclusive
group of writers ever!

324
00:13:42,907 --> 00:13:45,868
I mean, you're a writer
with glasses.

325
00:13:45,910 --> 00:13:48,121
And you're a writer
who likes pickles.

326
00:13:48,162 --> 00:13:50,123
[pickle crunches]
You're a writer from America.

327
00:13:50,164 --> 00:13:52,625
[drum roll]
You're a writer with hiccups.

328
00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:54,002
- [hiccup]

329
00:13:54,043 --> 00:13:56,170
- Oh, and you're a writer
I keep forgetting.

330
00:13:56,212 --> 00:13:58,131
And you're the writer

331
00:13:58,172 --> 00:14:01,217
who never comes out
from under the table.

332
00:14:01,259 --> 00:14:05,138
- Taddli, why do you set
your standards so darn high?

333
00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:06,889
- Hmm.

334
00:14:06,931 --> 00:14:09,517
[Man] [rapping] Time to,
t-time to rap-rap.

335
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,728
[Children] Knowledge!
[Man] Eyes front!

336
00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:13,730
[Children] Taddli!

337
00:14:13,771 --> 00:14:16,733
- Don't you see, if you
set your standards high,

338
00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:19,319
then everything
will be great!

339
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,070
[All] Ohhhh!

340
00:14:22,614 --> 00:14:24,282
- [giggles]
[Taddli] You know what?

341
00:14:24,324 --> 00:14:27,118
I played a trick on you.
- [gasps] Wha-?

342
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:29,245
- This was today's lesson!

343
00:14:29,287 --> 00:14:30,747
[upbeat music]

344
00:14:30,788 --> 00:14:32,790
[All laughing]

345
00:14:37,128 --> 00:14:39,380
- Taddli!
- Yeah!

346
00:14:39,422 --> 00:14:41,215
[Children] Taddli!
[chimes and pops]

347
00:14:43,968 --> 00:14:45,762
[Announcer] Friends
of "Kids in the Hall"

348
00:14:45,803 --> 00:14:48,640
Number 221, Lainie.

349
00:14:48,681 --> 00:14:51,768
- Yeah, I met Kevin McDonald
one time.

350
00:14:51,809 --> 00:14:53,936
[laughs] One time,
and he could not,

351
00:14:53,978 --> 00:14:55,813
he could have been
a nicer guy.

352
00:14:55,855 --> 00:14:57,523
I think I have a picture of...

353
00:14:58,858 --> 00:15:01,110
him and I together. Okay.

354
00:15:01,152 --> 00:15:03,029
Oh. Um...

355
00:15:03,071 --> 00:15:05,698
ha, I don't think...

356
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:07,367
this is not my phone.

357
00:15:07,408 --> 00:15:09,535
It was a really good picture,
though.

358
00:15:09,577 --> 00:15:11,287
[Announcer] Friends
of "Kids in the Hall"

359
00:15:11,329 --> 00:15:14,749
Number 221, Lainie.
- [chuckles]

360
00:15:15,541 --> 00:15:21,255
♪♪♪

361
00:15:22,256 --> 00:15:24,342
- Everything's fine.
We're still together,

362
00:15:24,384 --> 00:15:26,469
we've never been happier.
And if it does come up,

363
00:15:26,511 --> 00:15:28,262
you're leaving me for a man.

364
00:15:28,304 --> 00:15:30,723
- God, you are a stuck record.
- Oh, gimme that.

365
00:15:30,765 --> 00:15:32,141
- Ohhh.

366
00:15:32,183 --> 00:15:34,644
[doorbell chimes: "Ding Dong!
The Witch is Dead"]

367
00:15:34,686 --> 00:15:36,187
- Is that our doorbell?

368
00:15:36,229 --> 00:15:38,773
[George] Hey, Dorothy and Toto!
You've got company!

369
00:15:38,815 --> 00:15:40,483
- Oh, it is us.
- Oh yes.

370
00:15:40,525 --> 00:15:41,984
- Coming!
[doorbell continues chiming]

371
00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:43,986
[arguing indistinctly]

372
00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:46,239
[door clicks]
[Both] Hi!

373
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,075
- Welcome!
- Curtis, George, how are you?

374
00:15:49,117 --> 00:15:51,703
- Oh, we're fine.
We're so fine.

375
00:15:51,744 --> 00:15:54,247
We're a happy couple
who are fine together.

376
00:15:54,288 --> 00:15:56,249
- [sighs]

377
00:15:56,290 --> 00:15:58,251
- I see.

378
00:15:58,292 --> 00:16:00,420
[Curtis] Peter, the place
is so beautiful!

379
00:16:00,461 --> 00:16:03,047
You have done so much work!

380
00:16:03,089 --> 00:16:05,216
- Oh, Curtis, you have no idea.

381
00:16:05,258 --> 00:16:07,677
This entire place has been
completely gutted.

382
00:16:07,719 --> 00:16:09,345
[George] Yeah, I know
what that's like.

383
00:16:09,387 --> 00:16:11,097
All your insides scooped out
like a Jack-o-lantern.

384
00:16:11,139 --> 00:16:13,099
Fake smile carved on your face.

385
00:16:14,475 --> 00:16:16,227
- Very interesting.

386
00:16:16,269 --> 00:16:17,895
[Peter] I must confess,

387
00:16:17,937 --> 00:16:19,439
the Professor and I
are very happy here.

388
00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,358
- Yes, so glad the dusty
construction is over.

389
00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:25,653
Now there's no more drilling
unless I'm the drywall.

390
00:16:25,695 --> 00:16:27,405
- Oh, you!
- Du.

391
00:16:27,447 --> 00:16:29,157
- You.
- Gimme a kiss.

392
00:16:29,198 --> 00:16:31,159
- Kisses coming.
- [giggling]

393
00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:33,745
- Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!

394
00:16:33,786 --> 00:16:35,913
- 98, 99, 100!

395
00:16:35,955 --> 00:16:38,166
- [giggling]
- He gave me 100 kisses.

396
00:16:38,207 --> 00:16:40,168
[Curtis] Awwwww. [chuckles]

397
00:16:40,209 --> 00:16:42,378
- Professor,
where are our manners?

398
00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:44,630
Our guests are getting thirsty!
- Oh yeah. Oh yes!

399
00:16:44,672 --> 00:16:46,883
I will do the cocktails.

400
00:16:46,924 --> 00:16:49,385
- Cocktails coming!

401
00:16:49,427 --> 00:16:51,512
[glasses clink, liquor burbles]
- Hmmm.

402
00:16:51,554 --> 00:16:54,056
[footsteps approach up stairs]
- Oh, Inge, I'm so sorry,

403
00:16:54,098 --> 00:16:56,184
did the sound of the gin
wake you up?

404
00:16:56,225 --> 00:16:58,060
- Hmmm.
- Oh.

405
00:16:58,102 --> 00:16:59,771
Oh, George, Curtis,

406
00:16:59,812 --> 00:17:02,398
I don't believe you have
met my niece, Inge.

407
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,067
- Oh, look Curtis.
A real girl.

408
00:17:05,109 --> 00:17:07,069
- Yes, I see that, George.

409
00:17:07,111 --> 00:17:09,363
- Inge is from Sweden.
- Mhm.

410
00:17:09,405 --> 00:17:11,282
- She does not speak
any English,

411
00:17:11,324 --> 00:17:13,659
but oddly, she does not
speak any Swedish either.

412
00:17:13,701 --> 00:17:15,620
But she's here,
at the university...

413
00:17:15,661 --> 00:17:17,497
studying obscenity.

414
00:17:17,538 --> 00:17:20,416
- Twat, pecker quim,
fuckface.

415
00:17:20,458 --> 00:17:22,960
- She says that you
are both very cute.

416
00:17:23,002 --> 00:17:24,629
- Oh, thank you.

417
00:17:24,670 --> 00:17:26,631
- I keep forgetting
about our little Inge.

418
00:17:26,672 --> 00:17:28,424
All alone in the north wing.

419
00:17:28,466 --> 00:17:30,134
She mostly keeps to herself.

420
00:17:30,176 --> 00:17:32,094
And her many, many lovers.

421
00:17:32,136 --> 00:17:34,931
Yes, she is a most glorious
slut. [laughs]

422
00:17:34,972 --> 00:17:37,767
Not that you two silly queens
would care about that.

423
00:17:37,809 --> 00:17:40,520
- Oh, I wouldn't be too sure
about that.

424
00:17:41,813 --> 00:17:44,273
- Pussy whang poon fuck snot.

425
00:17:44,315 --> 00:17:46,317
- Hmm, really?

426
00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,736
George, Inge is saying
that she's intrigued

427
00:17:48,778 --> 00:17:50,655
by your simmering rage.

428
00:17:50,696 --> 00:17:52,573
- Oh, is that so?

429
00:17:52,615 --> 00:17:55,243
Did you hear that Curtis?
- Yes George.

430
00:17:55,284 --> 00:17:57,662
- Cum guzzler gash cock trap.

431
00:17:57,703 --> 00:17:59,789
Pecker sneeze?

432
00:17:59,831 --> 00:18:02,166
- George, Inge is inviting you
to take a tour

433
00:18:02,208 --> 00:18:04,418
of our north wing,
if you'd like.

434
00:18:04,460 --> 00:18:07,004
- You know,
I would just love a tour.

435
00:18:07,046 --> 00:18:10,466
- Prick prick. Cooter minge.

436
00:18:10,508 --> 00:18:12,552
- George, don't.
- Tell me, Inge,

437
00:18:12,593 --> 00:18:14,262
is it true what they say
about Swedish pussy?

438
00:18:14,303 --> 00:18:16,138
That it's cheap, but falls
apart in a couple years?

439
00:18:16,180 --> 00:18:18,349
- George! That's IKEA.

440
00:18:18,391 --> 00:18:20,726
- Oh, is it?
Is it?

441
00:18:24,605 --> 00:18:27,275
I suppose it is.
- Cooter minge!

442
00:18:27,316 --> 00:18:29,694
- We might be gone awhile.

443
00:18:32,572 --> 00:18:34,031
[sighs, ice clinks]

444
00:18:34,073 --> 00:18:36,492
- Oh, thank you.

445
00:18:36,534 --> 00:18:38,953
- Curtis, is there anything
wrong with George?

446
00:18:38,995 --> 00:18:40,913
- Yes, he's a little upset

447
00:18:40,955 --> 00:18:42,582
because I've been seeing
someone else.

448
00:18:42,623 --> 00:18:45,251
- So? It's normal.
- It's normale.

449
00:18:45,293 --> 00:18:47,295
- Well, I guess it's a little
different

450
00:18:47,336 --> 00:18:49,046
because I've been
seeing a woman.

451
00:18:49,088 --> 00:18:50,715
- Oh, my God,
I'm going to be sick.

452
00:18:50,756 --> 00:18:52,508
Quick, bring me a vase!

453
00:18:52,550 --> 00:18:54,594
No, no,
one that matches my outfit!

454
00:18:54,635 --> 00:18:56,262
Never mind, I swallowed.

455
00:18:56,304 --> 00:18:58,180
How could you do such a thing?
- Me?!

456
00:18:58,222 --> 00:18:59,932
Well, what about George?

457
00:18:59,974 --> 00:19:01,809
I mean, what the hell
is he doing with Inge?

458
00:19:01,851 --> 00:19:03,811
- Would you like to see?

459
00:19:03,853 --> 00:19:05,438
- Pardon?

460
00:19:08,024 --> 00:19:10,026
[cupboards whoosh]

461
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:12,028
[George grunts over video]

462
00:19:12,069 --> 00:19:13,446
- Wow.

463
00:19:13,487 --> 00:19:15,990
[grunting]

464
00:19:20,494 --> 00:19:22,455
[hand taps breasts quickly]

465
00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:24,248
[Inge moans, George grunts,
both annoyed]

466
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:25,958
[George] What's going on
with you?

467
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,336
Gee! Come on!
Just gimme a minute.

468
00:19:28,377 --> 00:19:30,212
[sighs, frustrated]

469
00:19:30,254 --> 00:19:32,465
It usually works.
Come on!

470
00:19:32,506 --> 00:19:34,675
Here, put this on.
- Hmm.

471
00:19:36,969 --> 00:19:39,347
- Over your breasts.
[hat slaps skin]

472
00:19:39,388 --> 00:19:41,724
Over the pussy.
[hat slaps, waterbed glugs]

473
00:19:41,766 --> 00:19:43,768
No, no I can't fuck
my hat again!

474
00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:47,813
- Man pussy pecker sneeze?

475
00:19:47,855 --> 00:19:49,482
- Don't patronize me!

476
00:19:49,523 --> 00:19:52,318
- Have you seen enough?
- Oh, God. Yes.

477
00:19:54,278 --> 00:19:56,697
[footsteps thud]

478
00:20:02,954 --> 00:20:04,330
- Well, that was fun.

479
00:20:04,372 --> 00:20:06,332
You betcha.

480
00:20:06,374 --> 00:20:08,501
Well, I better leave.

481
00:20:08,542 --> 00:20:10,294
[Peter] Wait, George, don't go!

482
00:20:10,336 --> 00:20:12,838
Come to the couch. Everything
is good at the couch.

483
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,799
Professor, isn't there
something you can do

484
00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,258
to save the dinner party?

485
00:20:16,300 --> 00:20:19,637
- Why doesn't everybody
just sit down?

486
00:20:19,679 --> 00:20:21,722
- [sighs, exhausted]

487
00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:25,434
[screen zips]

488
00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:28,854
[projector hums]

489
00:20:28,896 --> 00:20:30,314
[slide clicks]

490
00:20:30,356 --> 00:20:32,358
George, Curtis, my lover...

491
00:20:33,859 --> 00:20:35,653
the psychosexual relationship

492
00:20:35,695 --> 00:20:38,698
between the alpha gay male
and the beta gay male

493
00:20:38,739 --> 00:20:41,158
is a fascinating
field of study.

494
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:42,618
[slide clicks]

495
00:20:42,660 --> 00:20:45,538
You see, when the alpha male
feels that his relationship

496
00:20:45,579 --> 00:20:47,832
is being threatened
by an outside force,

497
00:20:47,873 --> 00:20:49,166
[slide clicks]

498
00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:52,128
it challenges his very
masculinity.

499
00:20:52,169 --> 00:20:54,296
Now, often, when the beta male

500
00:20:54,338 --> 00:20:56,882
has taken another male lover,

501
00:20:56,924 --> 00:20:58,968
known as the gamma,

502
00:20:59,010 --> 00:21:01,721
the situation is easily
remedied

503
00:21:01,762 --> 00:21:04,056
by simply inviting
this third male

504
00:21:04,098 --> 00:21:05,850
into their relationship

505
00:21:05,891 --> 00:21:08,102
for, what we in academia call,

506
00:21:08,144 --> 00:21:09,729
a gay sandwich.

507
00:21:09,770 --> 00:21:11,397
[slide clicks]

508
00:21:11,439 --> 00:21:13,524
[calm, happy music]

509
00:21:13,566 --> 00:21:15,359
But when the interloper

510
00:21:15,401 --> 00:21:17,486
is a female of the species,

511
00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:20,156
all sense of balance
is destroyed

512
00:21:20,197 --> 00:21:21,699
in fact, it's so disturbing

513
00:21:21,741 --> 00:21:24,076
that we don't even
have a slide for it.

514
00:21:24,118 --> 00:21:25,786
[slide clicks]

515
00:21:26,787 --> 00:21:28,122
[screen zips up]

516
00:21:28,164 --> 00:21:30,499
What we do know
is that when this occurs,

517
00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:32,334
the alpha male will often seek

518
00:21:32,376 --> 00:21:34,545
to re-establish his domination

519
00:21:34,587 --> 00:21:37,465
and prove his potency
by getting um,

520
00:21:37,506 --> 00:21:39,091
how do you put it, Darling,

521
00:21:39,133 --> 00:21:40,843
you know, some goose
for the uh...

522
00:21:40,885 --> 00:21:42,928
- Gander?
- gander, yes.

523
00:21:42,970 --> 00:21:44,847
- So, you're saying
George's failed attempt

524
00:21:44,889 --> 00:21:47,099
at penetration with a
linguistically-challenged

525
00:21:47,141 --> 00:21:48,350
foreign exchange student

526
00:21:48,392 --> 00:21:50,561
was just his way of telling me
that he loves me?

527
00:21:50,603 --> 00:21:52,646
- Yes! It's science!

528
00:21:52,688 --> 00:21:54,607
- Mwah!

529
00:21:54,648 --> 00:21:56,692
[George chuckles]

530
00:21:56,734 --> 00:21:58,527
- The Professor's
done it again!

531
00:21:58,569 --> 00:22:00,738
- Yes, but there is
one more problem.

532
00:22:00,780 --> 00:22:02,364
- What? What is it? What?

533
00:22:02,406 --> 00:22:05,159
- I've run out of kisses.
- [chuckles] Oh, you.

534
00:22:05,201 --> 00:22:07,244
Kisses coming!
- [Giggles]

535
00:22:07,286 --> 00:22:10,581
- Mwah! Mwah! Mwah!
- 98, 99, 100.

536
00:22:11,624 --> 00:22:13,793
I have 100 kisses.

537
00:22:13,834 --> 00:22:15,711
- Every night.

538
00:22:17,004 --> 00:22:23,969
♪♪♪

539
00:22:24,011 --> 00:22:30,976
♪♪♪

540
00:22:31,018 --> 00:22:37,983
♪♪♪

541
00:22:38,025 --> 00:22:45,991
♪♪♪

542
00:22:46,033 --> 00:22:51,997
♪♪♪

543
00:22:52,039 --> 00:22:59,004
♪♪♪

544
00:22:59,046 --> 00:23:06,011
♪♪♪

545
00:23:06,053 --> 00:23:10,057
♪♪♪