[dog barks]
- [groaning]
[sighs] Kids,
I have an announcement to make.
We're broke. We need a miracle
to knock on that door right now.
[knock on door]
[anticipatory music]
both: Marty!
- Mom? Dad?
- Hello, miracle!
[upbeat music]
♪ Don't wanna go to school today ♪
♪ The sun is red hot and I wanna play ♪
♪ But if I get caught they'll make me pay ♪
♪ Detention again ♪
- ♪ Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- ♪ Math and social studies just ain't my thing ♪
- ♪ Big Nate, Big Nate ♪
- ♪ Rocking with my band is where I'm king ♪
♪ Stealing the teacher's teeth or bailing on a test ♪
- ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
♪ Big Nate ♪
[loud clang]
[loud crash]
all: Hey!
- Meet my grandparents, Vern and Marge Wright.
Unpredictable meets anything goes.
Whenever they come to visit, awesome things happen!
- Ow! [whispers] Stop kicking.
- Ugh! Quiet, Ellen!
Three grown-up tickets
for the grown-up movie, please,
for us three... [chuckles]
grown-ups.
[yelps]
[bell rings] - Here you go.
There you are.
- [whistling] - [laughing]
- Stop! Stop! - Go! Go!
- Give me the T-shirt cannon, Nate!
- No doubt I'm their grandson, huh?
- Nate! - Gramps!
- Ellen, dear! - Oof!
Hi, Gram.
- Oh, boy, here we go again.
- [chuckling]
- Mom, Dad, this is unexpected.
- Well, can't a father drop in
to see his favorite son once in a while?
- Ah, favorite son?
We all know Ted's your favorite, Dad.
- Oh, Marty, that's not true.
- Oh, yeah. He's your mother's favorite.
- [sighs] - Vern!
- Hey, Ellen! Look at me.
Pull my finger. - Okay, Gramps,
I think I'm a little old for this.
- Go on. Pull it.
- [screams]
- [laughs]
[gags]
[shivers]
Um... - [chuckling]
- What happened to your finger, Gramps?
- That, my boy, is a gruesome, bloody story.
I was trapped on an ice floe with a psychotic polar bear.
Suddenly-- - [scoffs]
He had an accident with an electric hedge trimmer.
- Epic!
- Enough small talk.
Why have you really come?
I--I know there's a reason.
There's always a reason.
- Come on, Vern!
Tell them!
- [laughing]
How would you all like to be millionaires?
- Oh! - Oh, yeah!
Legend has it that somewhere off the coast of Maine,
buried on a secret island, lies a treasure
known as the Treasure of Eewcorpico.
[dolphin trills]
No one knows exactly what's buried on there,
only that its contents are worth a hefty fortune.
And look who managed to get himself a treasure map.
- Treasure hunt! Treasure hunt!
all: Smash it all and we'll buy new stuff!
[overlapping speech] - Hmm.
I may be able to afford a lock on my door!
- Hold on, people. Mom, Dad,
how do I know this isn't just another one
of your infamous get-rich-fast schemes?
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- Oh, yes, you do.
You remember the time you invested
my paper route money in a wax museum
in the middle of a desert?
Or when you shaved off Ted and my hair
and sold it to the highly illegal
human hair coat market?
Or the time you traded our family heirlooms
to breed lorises--
that turned out to be rats!
- Those lorises were cute.
- They weren't lorises!
- I'm telling you, this time is different.
I'm giving you the chance of a lifetime, boy.
- Ugh, come on, Dad!
You never let me do anything awesome!
- You just said we were broke!
[dogs whimpering]
- Okay, fine.
But how are we gonna get
to this so-called treasure island?
[epic music]
You bought a boat?
- Yep. And look what we named her.
[harp flourish]
- [whimpers]
- I'm going to make you proud this time, son.
- Oh, Papa!
- [chuckling] Okay, there, there.
Not comfortable.
[boat horn blares]
- Hey, Dee Dee, think fast!
- [gasps]
- Look at us, drama-free,
not following any half-baked schemes
that could get us into way more trouble than we bargained for.
- Still, I can't believe Nate would go on a treasure hunt
and not invite us!
- Amy is away in the Hamptons visiting her dad,
and I'm...with you guys.
I for one could use a little bit more drama in my life.
- Whoa-hoh-hoh-hoh!
Whoo!
[loud crash] Ow! Ay!
all: Uncle Pedro?
- [inhales sharply, laughs]
One of my better landings!
I couldn't help but overhear you say
your spiky-haired friend has embarked on a treasure hunt.
- Yeah, it's true, Uncle Pedro!
Nate went on a boat with his grandparents
searching for a treasure island!
- Hm. Did he happen to say
what the treasure was called?
- Eew... - Sorry.
I think it's me.
I haven't bathed in well over 40 days.
I also think I'm in heat.
- Uh, no, no, that's the name of the treasure.
Eew--ah, something.
- [gasps] The Treasure of Eewcorpico!
Children, your friend, Nate, is in great danger!
[all gasp]
- [screams]
- The Treasure of Eewcorpico is cursed!
Legend has it that anyone who seeks it will encounter
a series of perils.
First, a terrible storm. [all screaming]
Then an enchanting saltwater siren.
- [shrieks]
- Finally, all will be swallowed by a great whale.
Had a friend who went out looking for the treasure,
never seen again!
Or at least he never called me back.
- Curse or no curse,
this sounds like a journey the Wright family
is ill-equipped to handle.
- Francis is right!
- Then we have to go after them.
But where are we gonna find a boat?
- Ah.
I always carry a boat on my person.
[classic rock playing]
- How am I doing, Dad?
- What are you doing all that work for?
Why, it's called autopilot, Magellan.
- [Australian accent] Autopilot activated.
- You see, Marty, sea living is all about
letting technology do the work for us.
[peaceful music]
[both sigh] - I love sea life.
[burps]
- [chuckles] Nice.
- Marty tells me you're quite the student, Ellen.
- Yeah, well, I have a 4.3 GPA.
Actually, I'm pretty proud of that.
I-- - Pfft, waste of time.
Everything worth knowing can be found on the streets
with nothing more than a sly grin and a roll of nickels.
- I couldn't agree more, Gram!
But don't expect Ellen to get it.
She's not like us. She's a, uh--
how do I say this-- a "by the book" person.
Oof! See?
- You know what? It's getting chilly.
I'm gonna go get a jacket.
What the junk?
[all burping]
- Oh! That's three generations of burp right there.
- [whispers] Nate.
Nate. - Whoa!
- I think Gram and Gramps might be hiding something from us.
- Oh, come on, that's ridiculous.
I mean, just because Gram and Gramps love me
more than you doesn't automatically mean
there's something wrong with them.
[lightning crashes]
[dramatic music]
- Uh, Dad?
- It's just a bit of lightning, Marty.
Not as if we're about to have ourselves a full-on storm.
[thunder rumbles]
[all scream]
- Look! The curse is starting to take effect!
- Okay, so what now?
- No clue. I'm not a leader.
I observe. I contemplate.
Sometimes I dance.
[upbeat music]
[music stops] How about you, kid?
- Me? Oh, no.
[gags]
[retches]
- Gross. Teddy?
- Psh, nah, you know me.
I'm a "go with the flow" kind of guy.
- And I'm most definitely a follower.
- Okay, guys, it's like you're begging me
to reprise my role as Bonnie Boneregarde,
the Soggy Sovereign of the Seven Seas!
- Something tells me you had this planned.
- Look alive, ye lily-livered cods!
Batten down the hatches
and set a course for Nate Wright!
♪ ♪
[all screaming]
both: Dad!
- I got you!
[both whimpering]
[strains]
[all grunt]
- [chuckles] What is a high seas adventure
without a little drama?
Everybody good?
- No. We're not good.
We have to turn back!
- Uh, Ellen... [laughs nervously]
The treasure.
- Forget about the treasure, Nate!
We could have died.
And Dad is totally losing it.
- [whimpering]
- Marty, it was very manly and brave what you did,
saving your kids like that.
- Huh? - I want you to have this hat.
You're the captain now.
- ♪ Captain feeling less insecure! ♪
- And as the captain of this boat,
the choice is yours, son.
- No, Papa, we continue on.
- How do you feel about your precious Gram and Gramps now?
Hmm? - Well, I mean,
so--so you didn't get the right family adventure gene
and you came out ugly.
You don't have to be all sore about it.
- Ugh!
Come with me.
Why would Gram and Gramps need their tennis rackets?
- Uh, spaghetti straining?
- Or their piano?
- Hey, what's a pleasure cruise
without a little music?
- Or their collection
of his and hers burlap underwear?
- Oh, well, that's, uh--
yeah, okay, I got nothing.
- Their whole lives are here!
Nate, I don't know, but I think
Gram and Gramps are living on this boat!
[both gasp]
- This family didn't raise no narcs.
[chomping]
- Step to, you scurvy-ridden sea dogs,
or I'll be organizing your reception with Davy Jones!
- Is she always like this?
- Mm, only every day.
- Dee Dee, would you cut it out?
I'm nauseous enough as it is.
[gags, retches]
- Call me Bonnie!
I'm the most bloodthirsty pirate
on the seven seas, me hearties!
- But you're not a pirate, and we're not your "hearties"!
We're a couple of kids and a weird uncle!
Uh, no offense.
- None taken, boy with a heart of lost dreams.
- How does he know?
- How dare ye talk to your captain this way!
Apologize or I'll be sending ye
on a one-way trip to the briny deep!
[all gasp]
What? Too much?
- No, sh--shark!
[all scream]
- Do you mind?
I'm kind of in the middle of a speech here!
[cheers and laughter]
[both chuckle nervously]
- [whispers] I have to tell Dad what we saw!
- Well, you'll never get past Gram.
[metal scraping]
- [disembodied voice] ♪ Martin ♪
- [snoring] - Psst, Dad!
Did you hear that?
- Hear what?
I think you've had too many Bloaty Pops, son.
- ♪ Martin ♪
[operatically] ♪ Martin ♪
- [gasps] A fish woman!
She's beautiful!
- ♪ Martin, Martin ♪
Oh, Martin!
Save me!
- I've got to save her.
- No, Marty!
You can't trust me sea women!
- I'm coming, goddess of the mermaid lagoon!
[exciting music]
[gasps]
♪ ♪
[grunts]
Yuck!
- Uh, Dad?
This isn't a mermaid lagoon.
It's a chemical spill!
[creatures snarling]
[hard rock music]
♪ ♪
- Holy mackerel!
- The fish woman was bait!
- Oh, we better get out of here!
[strains]
Ah! We're stuck!
[straining]
- Quick!
Arm yourselves!
[beeping]
- I'm running out of buttons.
- What are we gonna do?
- I'm overriding the autopilot.
We've gotta get out of here!
♪ ♪
[tense music]
♪ ♪
- [sighs]
- Maybe now's a good time to talk to Dad
about you-know-who.
- Ah, cool your jets, Ellen.
I mean, let's say Gram and Gramps are
living on this boat.
I mean, what's the big deal?
- There's a lot more to it than that.
And I'm going to turn the screws
until I find out what.
Dad? - There, there, Marty.
Mama's here.
- Thanks, Mom.
You know, I think I really had
a connection with that mermaid
before she turned into hazardous waste.
[sobs]
[exciting music]
♪ ♪
- That thar is the rock.
But where be the sirens?
- Look at that!
[seagull screeches]
The EEW! Corporation is responsible for this!
- Oh, I love EEW!
They make Beardy O's!
Yeah! And Beardy Yum Yums
and Beardy Pops, and Beardy Bongo Blasts--
- Arrr! But they're soulless corporate scallywags!
Look what their greed has done to the ocean!
A moment of silence, mateys,
for all the innocent creatures of the briny deep.
- Aw, what's wrong, Francis?
You look like the patch of rough elbow skin
I rub in times of trouble.
- I was just kind of hoping to see a real siren.
- [high-pitched] Oh-hoh!
I will be your siren, François!
[kissing noises]
Come frolic with me... - Hey! Quit it!
- Under the waves. - I said stop, Teddy!
Agh! Uh! [laughter]
- Shiver me timbers!
'Tis the mark of our best bucko, Nate Wright!
- The Wrights must have already been here.
- Then your friends are soon to be swallowed by a whale.
- Not on my watch!
Step to, lads!
Heave ho!
- You know, Marty,
this isn't the first time you've dated a toxic woman.
- Don't start, Mom.
- Like Darla, your imaginary girlfriend from high school.
- Darla was real, Mom.
- And then there was Fabula.
She marries you, divorces you, becomes a millionaire,
and doesn't give you or the kids one lousy nickel.
- Hey, Fabula might have her flaws,
but she's still the mother of my two wonderful children.
She's not a bad person.
- She left you for her yoga instructor.
- Okay, she's sort of a bad person.
I need to go lie down.
- Wait! There's something I need to tell you!
- Mom! Dad!
Why is all your stuff down here?
Care to explain?
- Well, we had to get the house fumigated.
Huge cockroaches.
- Six feet long, Marty!
Basically alligators with wings.
- The man from animal control said we had to vacate
for a few months--
eh, maybe a year--
eh, maybe forever!
- So now we get to live on this boat!
- [growls]
So you sold the house for a shoddy boat
and a bogus treasure map?
- Bingo!
See? I told you he'd get it.
- That house was supposed to be my inheritance!
Have you told Ted about this?
- Ah, couldn't reach him.
You know Ted, always couch-surfing.
Why, he's got that Wright family adventurer gene.
[chuckles] Love him.
- I need some air.
- Uh, we're still going
on a treasure hunt, right?
- I should've known better than to trust you guys.
You're always roping me into your stupid schemes!
What's worse is now you've roped
my kids into your mess too.
- You should be thanking us, Marty!
This treasure is gonna be ten times
the inheritance you would've had.
- Yeah!
We just gotta find it.
- [groans]
- Hey!
Hey!
Over here! - Wait, is that--
- Dee Dee?
- Turn back!
- Is she saying "lunch sack"?
- Oh, let's hope so. I'm famished.
[loud clang]
[all gasp]
[all scream]
[all screaming]
- [screams]
[all coughing]
- Are we--
[dramatic music]
both: We're trapped in a whale!
- I'll never be able to backpack around Europe
after high school, fall in love
with a handsome Spaniard named Eduardo
whose family will reject our love!
[sobs] - Oh, no, no!
I'll never get to prank another teacher again
or--or express my love to Jenny!
No. I can't accept that!
Nay! I won't accept that!
- You lied to me! Oof.
- Yes, Marty,
we know we lied about the house.
- No, the boat!
You didn't name it after me!
- Sure, we did.
- Look!
- Ah, dag nabbit.
The salesman promised me that paint was waterproof.
- [groans]
[loud thud] [all exclaim]
- Huh?
- Nate! You're alive!
- Dee Dee! You're dressed as a pirate.
Wow, you know what?
I actually find that oddly comforting right now.
- [laughing]
both: Mm.
all: Mm.
- Hey! The gang's all here!
Hashtag stalker vibes.
- Yeah, we couldn't let you get destroyed by the curse, bro!
- Yay! Now we get to live out
the rest of our lives together in this whale!
That is so great!
- Well, at least we won't starve.
- Beardy Yum Yums and Bloaty Pop?
This whale just keeps gettin' better!
[chomping]
[belches]
- Grandma Marge, Grandpa Vern,
I'm Francis, Nate's oldest friend.
- You're the boy who barfed on that clown
at Nate's birthday party.
- [laughing] Yeah, yeah, that's him!
- Hey! Knock, knock,
loving the chitchat, really,
but maybe we should be trying to think of ways to--
I don't know-- get out of this whale?
- [chewing loudly]
- We could just wait-- - Oh!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right, right.
Okay, um, we need to get him
to open his mouth.
- Uh, well, like I was saying--
- Uncle Pedro speaks whale.
- Tuna, actually.
But the guttural squeaks and trills are similar.
- Eh, couldn't hurt to try.
- [inhales deeply]
[imitating whale]
[all screaming]
Sorry. I'm a little rusty.
- Anyone else got any good ideas?
- Well, if you would wait just a second to listen to me!
- [burps] No time to wait!
- [laughs] That's it!
We'll make the whale burp!
Okay, okay. Uh, let's see.
Grab all the Bloaty Pop you can find
and pour it into the whale's stomach!
[epic music]
♪ ♪
all: Whoa!
- Aye! She's gonna blow!
[whale burps inwardly]
- Uh, what is that smell?
- Ah, it's the classic case
of a timid burper swallowing a burp.
Been there, buddy!
- Okay, well, that was a bust.
- We're gonna be stuck down here
in this giant fish forever!
[sobs]
[mystical music]
- [gasps]
I see the light!
I'm going towards it!
- That's the blowhole!
I've been trying to tell you guys
that's our way out of here!
♪ ♪
- All right, brainiac.
But how do we get to the blowhole?
- [chuckles] I have an idea.
- ♪ I could lift you up ♪ [cricket chirrs]
♪ I could show you what you wanna see ♪
♪ And take you where you wanna be ♪
♪ You could be my luck ♪
♪ Even if the sky is falling down ♪
♪ I know that we'll be safe and sound ♪
♪ ♪
- [straining]
[suspenseful music]
Dad!
- It's got my finger!
Save yourself, son.
- What, the--the fake one?
Well, just take it off!
- It's the only one I've got.
- You got seven others!
We gotta go, Dad. The whole family is waiting.
- Just leave me!
- Are you kidding me right now?
We don't have time for this!
- I said unhand me!
- Everyone, pull my dad's finger!
[epic music]
- No. Stop.
[all straining]
♪ ♪
[anticipatory music]
♪ ♪
[all gasp]
[all screaming]
- Nate! Ellen!
- Dad!