1 00:00:01,969 --> 00:00:03,704 [school bell rings] 2 00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:06,107 - Pardon me! 3 00:00:06,174 --> 00:00:07,808 Big day today. 4 00:00:07,875 --> 00:00:09,410 We're starting winter sports in gym class, 5 00:00:09,477 --> 00:00:10,511 and if I don't get there on time... 6 00:00:10,578 --> 00:00:11,945 [gasps] I won't get to sign up 7 00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,214 for ice hockey. 8 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,248 Get out of my way! 9 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:15,549 Squeezing through! 10 00:00:15,616 --> 00:00:17,251 Also, I'm totally counting on it 11 00:00:17,318 --> 00:00:18,586 to save my grade. [grunts] 12 00:00:18,652 --> 00:00:20,654 - [shrieks] - [grunts] 13 00:00:20,721 --> 00:00:21,689 Whoa. 14 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:23,257 I gotta make sure I get ice hockey 15 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:24,358 because otherwise I'll have to do-- 16 00:00:24,425 --> 00:00:26,260 [gasps] - [blows whistle] 17 00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:29,263 - [grunts] Figure skating. 18 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:31,465 [upbeat music] 19 00:00:31,532 --> 00:00:33,867 - * Don't want to go to school today * 20 00:00:33,934 --> 00:00:36,604 * The sun is red hot and I wanna play * 21 00:00:36,670 --> 00:00:39,240 * But if I get caught they'll make me pay * 22 00:00:39,307 --> 00:00:41,008 * Detention again * 23 00:00:41,075 --> 00:00:42,510 - * Big Nate, Big Nate * 24 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:43,711 - * Math and social studies just ain't my thing * 25 00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,146 - * Big Nate, Big Nate * 26 00:00:45,213 --> 00:00:47,081 - * Rocking with my band is where I'm king * 27 00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:52,753 * Stealing the teacher's teeth or bailing on a test * 28 00:00:52,820 --> 00:00:55,089 - * Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh * 29 00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,324 * Big Nate * 30 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:57,891 [loud clang] 31 00:00:57,958 --> 00:00:59,760 [thud, clattering] 32 00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:03,397 * * 33 00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:05,633 - All right, maggots, get after it. 34 00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:08,902 - Yodel-lay-ee-dee. 35 00:01:08,969 --> 00:01:11,505 - Uh, you want us to skate on that? 36 00:01:11,572 --> 00:01:13,274 - Use your imagination, scrub. 37 00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:15,443 This is a frosted winter wonderland. 38 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,944 An Olympic ice rink. 39 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:20,614 [critters squeaking] 40 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:23,984 - Oh, I think I see it. Like the North Pole, 41 00:01:24,051 --> 00:01:26,019 but if Santa hated us. 42 00:01:26,086 --> 00:01:27,188 - [grunting] - Ah! 43 00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,189 - Ah! - Ah! 44 00:01:28,256 --> 00:01:29,523 [sneaky music] 45 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:30,858 [whistle whirs] 46 00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:34,162 * * 47 00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:35,496 - Ho, ho, no. 48 00:01:35,563 --> 00:01:37,798 How did all of my friends get ice hockey 49 00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:39,032 except for me? 50 00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:43,904 [groans] 51 00:01:43,971 --> 00:01:46,907 All right, real talk? I hate figure skating. 52 00:01:46,973 --> 00:01:48,676 But there's a good reason for that. 53 00:01:48,741 --> 00:01:50,777 My sister Ellen loves to torture me, 54 00:01:50,844 --> 00:01:52,446 and figure skating is her weapon 55 00:01:52,513 --> 00:01:54,148 of Nate destruction. 56 00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,083 You'd hate figure skating with the white-hot intensity 57 00:01:56,150 --> 00:01:57,384 of a thousand suns, too, 58 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:58,252 if you went through what I have. 59 00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,387 [booing] 60 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,921 Ahh! 61 00:02:02,990 --> 00:02:04,258 [screams] 62 00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:06,727 Now, back to our story. - [blows whistle] 63 00:02:06,794 --> 00:02:09,163 Front and center, junior. Get over here. 64 00:02:09,229 --> 00:02:11,499 Now! 65 00:02:11,565 --> 00:02:13,401 - [groans] Here goes nothing. 66 00:02:13,467 --> 00:02:15,068 [grunts] 67 00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:18,071 - Hey, champ, how you feeling? 68 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:21,209 - [coughs dramatically] 69 00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:22,810 Terrible. 70 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:25,613 I think I'll be out for the whole school year, Dad. 71 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,648 - I think I know what's going on here. 72 00:02:27,715 --> 00:02:29,517 You got a bad case of gym-itis. 73 00:02:29,583 --> 00:02:30,984 I used to get it all the time 74 00:02:31,051 --> 00:02:33,187 due to my complete lack of proper muscle formation. 75 00:02:33,254 --> 00:02:35,489 [grunts] 76 00:02:35,555 --> 00:02:36,757 [sighs] 77 00:02:36,824 --> 00:02:38,759 It's a wonder I can even feed myself. 78 00:02:38,826 --> 00:02:41,495 - Dad, can you please just excuse me from gym? 79 00:02:41,562 --> 00:02:43,497 I haven't asked you for anything lately. 80 00:02:43,564 --> 00:02:45,499 - Well, that's not quite true. 81 00:02:45,566 --> 00:02:46,900 - Dad, can I have your waffles? 82 00:02:46,966 --> 00:02:48,569 Dad can I have the comic section. 83 00:02:48,636 --> 00:02:51,439 Hey, Dad, can I have this chainsaw? 84 00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:52,840 [sobs] Please? 85 00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:55,476 Please get me out of gym class! [whimpering] 86 00:02:55,543 --> 00:02:57,478 - Don't let him get to you, Marty. 87 00:02:57,545 --> 00:02:59,813 Be strong. You have to tell him no. 88 00:03:01,415 --> 00:03:05,052 N--n--! 89 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:08,456 [vocalizes] 90 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,258 [sighs] 91 00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:11,659 [door slams] - Uh, Dad? 92 00:03:11,725 --> 00:03:13,160 Well, that wasn't a no. 93 00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:16,063 And a not no equals a yes. 94 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:17,531 - Aw. 95 00:03:17,598 --> 00:03:20,234 How can I say no to him without crushing his spirit? 96 00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,577 - What in tarnation? 97 00:03:29,643 --> 00:03:31,612 - Uh, hello, Coach J. 98 00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:33,281 As you can see, I've had a little accident. 99 00:03:33,347 --> 00:03:34,648 [chuckles weakly] 100 00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,317 Shame I won't be able to figure skate today. 101 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,752 - Nice cast. 102 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,622 What'd you use, two-ply? 103 00:03:41,689 --> 00:03:44,525 - It's a miracle. I am cured. 104 00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:46,059 Be right back. 105 00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:48,128 My Fear the Mollusk album got discovered. 106 00:03:48,195 --> 00:03:51,932 It's from the hottest K-Pop band in the game. 107 00:03:51,999 --> 00:03:55,636 - As a K-Pop fan myself, I'm highly skeptical. 108 00:03:55,703 --> 00:03:57,905 - Hey, hey, ho, ho, 109 00:03:57,971 --> 00:04:00,341 these ice skates have got to go. 110 00:04:00,408 --> 00:04:03,844 I will be sitting out gym class as form of protest 111 00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:06,447 against child humiliation in this country. 112 00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:07,815 - [grunts] - [shrieks] 113 00:04:07,881 --> 00:04:09,950 - If you think figure skating is humiliating, 114 00:04:10,017 --> 00:04:12,420 try repeating sixth grade gym. 115 00:04:12,486 --> 00:04:14,722 Go lace up, Porcupine Head. 116 00:04:14,788 --> 00:04:17,825 - [mimicking Coach J] Go lace up, Porcupine Head. 117 00:04:17,891 --> 00:04:19,293 At least I don't wear a toupee that looks like 118 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,560 a dead muskrat. 119 00:04:20,628 --> 00:04:21,695 - Hey, Nate, how's it going? 120 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,097 - How's it going? How's it going? 121 00:04:24,164 --> 00:04:26,934 Dee Dee, if you didn't notice, I have to figure skate. 122 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,536 - And? 123 00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:31,038 - Well, for starters, because of Ellen, 124 00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,841 I've sworn a blood oath to hate figure skating. 125 00:04:33,907 --> 00:04:36,677 Not to mention I'm gonna totally embarrass myself. 126 00:04:36,744 --> 00:04:39,112 When I dance I look like-- - A total dork? 127 00:04:39,179 --> 00:04:41,615 Oh, oh. Maybe you can find a partner 128 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:43,150 to take the pressure off. 129 00:04:43,216 --> 00:04:45,284 At acting camp, when I did "Lassie, I'm Gassy," 130 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,120 my two-person play-- 131 00:04:47,187 --> 00:04:49,857 correction it was one person, one dog, 132 00:04:49,923 --> 00:04:51,692 but you get the idea. - Stop. Stop, stop, stop. 133 00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:52,826 You've said something 134 00:04:52,893 --> 00:04:54,595 I've chosen to pay attention to. 135 00:04:54,662 --> 00:04:57,164 Partner. Partner, partner, partner. 136 00:04:57,230 --> 00:05:01,469 I need a--uh, no. Don't have a death wish. 137 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:03,604 - Hmm. - Hmm? 138 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:06,374 Hey, Chad, what are you doing up there? 139 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:09,477 - Making paper snowflakes. 140 00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,412 [eerie squealing] 141 00:05:11,479 --> 00:05:13,180 [paper crinkling] 142 00:05:13,246 --> 00:05:17,585 - So, C-Dog, C-meister, Chad-o-rama, ol' buddy. 143 00:05:17,651 --> 00:05:19,353 [chuckles] I was thinking... 144 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:22,856 - Ah, sorry, Nate, but my freckles are tingling 145 00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:24,525 which means you're about to ask me 146 00:05:24,592 --> 00:05:26,026 to be your figure skating partner, 147 00:05:26,093 --> 00:05:27,861 and I must respectfully decline. 148 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,863 So wh--what about Kim? 149 00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,565 She doesn't have a partner. 150 00:05:31,632 --> 00:05:33,901 And she's as strong as a box. 151 00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,704 - Um, I don't think a box is very strong, Chad. 152 00:05:36,770 --> 00:05:39,473 - Box. Half bear, half ox. 153 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,774 [grunting] 154 00:05:40,841 --> 00:05:42,676 - [grunts] Hey. 155 00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:46,480 - Aah! 156 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,215 Yeow! 157 00:05:48,281 --> 00:05:49,683 [groans] 158 00:05:49,750 --> 00:05:53,320 [muffled screaming] 159 00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,689 - Mmm, a souvenir. 160 00:05:55,756 --> 00:05:57,090 - Sorry to take up your time. 161 00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,526 I didn't know where else to turn. 162 00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,661 - [sighs] You were wise to come to us. 163 00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:01,962 - Let me guess, 164 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:03,897 Nate asked you to get him out of gym class 165 00:06:03,964 --> 00:06:05,899 and you can't say no. 166 00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,902 - Well, that's right! How did you know? 167 00:06:08,969 --> 00:06:09,970 - [sighs] This has been going on 168 00:06:10,037 --> 00:06:12,005 for years, Mr. Wright. 169 00:06:12,072 --> 00:06:13,841 - Hey, Dad, I'm gonna have cheesy snacks for dinner. 170 00:06:13,907 --> 00:06:17,911 That's cool, right? Mmm. 171 00:06:17,978 --> 00:06:20,280 - N-- [sighs] 172 00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:22,850 - Hey, I made a zipline out of Ellen's hair. 173 00:06:22,916 --> 00:06:25,218 She sheds more than Spitsy. [Spitsy barks] 174 00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:26,420 Sound good to you? 175 00:06:26,487 --> 00:06:29,189 - N-- 176 00:06:29,256 --> 00:06:31,191 - [laughs] 177 00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,461 [loud crash] 178 00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:34,695 - [gasps] 179 00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:36,464 - Hey, hey, hey! I just adopted 180 00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:38,331 the entire animal shelter. 181 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:39,467 Whoa, whoa! 182 00:06:39,533 --> 00:06:41,034 The lemurs are biting my ankles! 183 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,803 Can we keep them all, Dad? 184 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:46,540 - N--[sighs] - [grunts] 185 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:48,207 - You kids are right. 186 00:06:48,275 --> 00:06:51,512 I've created a monster. [sobs] 187 00:06:51,579 --> 00:06:54,214 [whispering indistinctly] 188 00:06:54,281 --> 00:06:59,052 - There, there, Martin. It's not too late. 189 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:01,421 We've got the perfect three-step plan 190 00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:04,157 to make Nate respect you as an authority figure. 191 00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:07,194 It is foolproof, if I say so myself. 192 00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:09,797 - I can't thank you enough, children. 193 00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:12,299 [blows nose] - Ugh. 194 00:07:16,436 --> 00:07:17,738 [melancholy music] 195 00:07:17,805 --> 00:07:18,972 - Aww. 196 00:07:19,039 --> 00:07:21,274 Why did it have to be figure skating? 197 00:07:21,341 --> 00:07:24,411 I'm gonna need a miracle to get out of this. 198 00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:25,746 - * La di da di di di daa la di da * 199 00:07:25,813 --> 00:07:28,982 - You hearing that too? - * La di da * 200 00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:32,486 * La di da * - Miracle, here I come. 201 00:07:32,553 --> 00:07:35,956 [elegant music] 202 00:07:36,023 --> 00:07:37,558 Hey, Chad. - [grunts] 203 00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:39,693 [gasps] Nate. What are you doing here? 204 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:41,328 Now one was supposed to know about this. 205 00:07:41,394 --> 00:07:42,730 - Aw, what do you mean, buddy? 206 00:07:42,796 --> 00:07:44,798 You're the answer to all my hopes and dreams. 207 00:07:44,865 --> 00:07:47,067 - It's not safe for you to see me. 208 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,669 Ahh! 209 00:07:50,370 --> 00:07:52,606 - Um, what just happened? 210 00:07:52,673 --> 00:07:55,342 - As Nate's most enabling-est friend, 211 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:58,278 allow me to introduce step one in your course, 212 00:07:58,345 --> 00:07:59,913 mischief management. 213 00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,582 I will be teaching you how to recognize 214 00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,551 the seedlings of mischief in Nate 215 00:08:03,617 --> 00:08:05,285 before they blossom into a full-grown, 216 00:08:05,352 --> 00:08:07,187 carnivorous plant that will inevitably 217 00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:08,889 destroy us all. 218 00:08:08,956 --> 00:08:10,223 Observe. 219 00:08:10,290 --> 00:08:11,759 The crazy gleam Nate gets in his eye 220 00:08:11,825 --> 00:08:14,094 as he's conjuring up a wild idea. 221 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,929 - Hey, I recognize that look. 222 00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,566 - [scoffs] Uh, yeah. Of course you do, Nate's dad. 223 00:08:18,632 --> 00:08:20,568 - Oh, please, call me Martin. 224 00:08:20,634 --> 00:08:23,036 - Nah. These are some of the things Nate says 225 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:25,739 before he's about to commit una locura. 226 00:08:25,806 --> 00:08:28,108 Any of these should put you on high alert. 227 00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:29,376 "I have an idea." 228 00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:30,611 "I got this." 229 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:32,780 "What happens if I push this button?" 230 00:08:32,846 --> 00:08:34,381 "Do you dare me to eat this?" 231 00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,582 And last but not least, 232 00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,417 "Can 11-year-olds get arrested 233 00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:38,652 for fill in the blank?" 234 00:08:38,719 --> 00:08:40,688 Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. 235 00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:42,655 [doorbell chimes] [cat growls] 236 00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:44,457 - Hey, Chad. - Ahh. 237 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,459 - Look, I know this is a little awkward, 238 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:48,228 but can we talk about what happened 239 00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:49,730 yesterday on the pond? 240 00:08:49,797 --> 00:08:53,333 - Wha--uh-- [sighs] 241 00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,104 - Huh? 242 00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,606 [ominous music] 243 00:08:58,672 --> 00:09:00,407 [cat meows distantly] 244 00:09:02,643 --> 00:09:03,844 We have to be quick. 245 00:09:03,911 --> 00:09:05,979 My mom and grandma are out milking the cats, 246 00:09:06,046 --> 00:09:07,948 but they'll be back any minute. 247 00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:10,050 - Uh, hold up, you can milk a cat? 248 00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:12,219 - Oh, yeah it's tricky, but totally worth it. 249 00:09:12,285 --> 00:09:14,221 Cat ice cream is delicious. 250 00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,656 - Ooh... 251 00:09:18,258 --> 00:09:21,061 [slurps] - [gags] 252 00:09:21,128 --> 00:09:23,831 - [sighs] Oh, sorry, Nate. 253 00:09:23,897 --> 00:09:26,466 That was so rude of me. Would you like a glass? 254 00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,836 - Chad, why are you being so strange? 255 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:30,938 I mean, you know, stranger than usual. 256 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:32,606 And why is the word "ice" crossed out 257 00:09:32,673 --> 00:09:34,407 on your ice maker? 258 00:09:34,474 --> 00:09:36,677 - Oh! Shh. No, no, no. 259 00:09:36,744 --> 00:09:38,245 We don't say that word in this house. 260 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,813 - What word? Ice? 261 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,749 Dude, you are freaking me out. 262 00:09:41,815 --> 00:09:43,483 Are you in Witness Protection or something? 263 00:09:43,550 --> 00:09:45,485 [gasps] Are your mom and grandma 264 00:09:45,552 --> 00:09:46,754 vigilante outlaws? 265 00:09:46,820 --> 00:09:48,656 Because that would be awesome. 266 00:09:48,722 --> 00:09:51,258 - Uh... [sighs] 267 00:09:51,324 --> 00:09:53,160 [slurps] 268 00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:54,995 No more secrets. 269 00:09:55,062 --> 00:09:56,563 [burps] [meows] 270 00:09:56,630 --> 00:09:59,199 [tense music] 271 00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:01,101 * * 272 00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:04,805 They don't know I know where this is. 273 00:10:04,872 --> 00:10:09,142 [grunting] 274 00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:16,750 [cat burps] [meows] 275 00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,185 - Whoa! 276 00:10:18,251 --> 00:10:21,321 [nostalgic music] 277 00:10:21,388 --> 00:10:24,457 * * 278 00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:27,094 Chad, who are all those pictures of? 279 00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,629 - Well, this is Pop Pop Applewhite, 280 00:10:29,697 --> 00:10:31,431 And this is Great Pop Pop Applewhite. 281 00:10:31,498 --> 00:10:33,600 And this, of course, is Great Great Pop Pop Applewhite. 282 00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,303 - Okay, you know what? Genuinely sorry I asked. 283 00:10:36,369 --> 00:10:39,006 - Nate, I think it's about time that I tell you the tale 284 00:10:39,072 --> 00:10:42,743 of "The Curse of the Applewhites." 285 00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:44,544 In the Old Country, the Applewhites, 286 00:10:44,611 --> 00:10:46,346 or as they pronounced it back then, 287 00:10:46,413 --> 00:10:47,881 the Pflurgetstumps, 288 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,984 were expert figure skaters, beloved by all. 289 00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,854 People came from far and wide to see them skate. 290 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,622 But when bogus "Santa Clauses" 291 00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,590 started offering half-priced sleigh rides, 292 00:10:57,657 --> 00:11:02,462 the Applewhites' popularity started to wither and die. 293 00:11:02,529 --> 00:11:04,397 That's when my Great Great Great Great Pop Pop 294 00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:07,567 went searching for the all-powerful Sequinia, 295 00:11:07,634 --> 00:11:11,171 the figure skating spirit who lived deep in the forest. 296 00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:14,074 Sequinia showed him the Rusty Buzzsaw, 297 00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,944 a move so complex that it would, 298 00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:19,212 once mastered, make our family 299 00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:22,182 the greatest figure skaters of all time. 300 00:11:22,249 --> 00:11:23,751 But it was a trap. 301 00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:26,619 Sequinia knew that performing the Rusty Buzzsaw 302 00:11:26,686 --> 00:11:27,988 is almost impossible. 303 00:11:28,055 --> 00:11:30,758 Every Applewhite who has tried 304 00:11:30,824 --> 00:11:34,294 has ended up in that great ice rink in the sky. 305 00:11:34,361 --> 00:11:35,528 And that's how the move, 306 00:11:35,595 --> 00:11:37,297 meant to bring my family fame, 307 00:11:37,364 --> 00:11:39,733 instead became a curse. 308 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:40,901 - [laughs evilly] 309 00:11:40,968 --> 00:11:42,569 - Figure skating has been forbidden 310 00:11:42,635 --> 00:11:46,740 in the Applewhite family ever since. 311 00:11:46,807 --> 00:11:48,675 - Chad, my boy, you're in luck. 312 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:50,710 Nate Wright is going to graciously 313 00:11:50,778 --> 00:11:52,712 and selflessly help you break that curse 314 00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:54,748 while you help me overcome my deep trauma 315 00:11:54,815 --> 00:11:56,549 around figure skating so I don't embarrass myself 316 00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:57,851 in front of the entire school. 317 00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,352 Did I mention I made a blood oath? 318 00:11:59,419 --> 00:12:01,054 - You did. Okay. 319 00:12:01,121 --> 00:12:03,423 - Okay? Wait, that--that's it? 320 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:05,558 After all that? - Yeah, I'm easy. 321 00:12:05,625 --> 00:12:08,561 * * 322 00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,330 - [grunts] 323 00:12:10,397 --> 00:12:16,336 * * 324 00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:19,406 Ahh. [grunts] 325 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:22,209 Oooh. Ah ha ha. 326 00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:23,811 [groans] 327 00:12:29,682 --> 00:12:32,585 - * I heard you found another partner * 328 00:12:32,652 --> 00:12:35,055 * * 329 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:41,228 * Does he ice skate better than I can? * 330 00:12:41,294 --> 00:12:44,231 * I saw it with my own eyes * 331 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:47,367 * I fell to the ground * 332 00:12:47,434 --> 00:12:53,106 * Is it because I turned you into a popsicle? * 333 00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:58,846 * I guess that may have been a little bit too much * 334 00:12:58,912 --> 00:13:04,184 * Is that what made you give up on our love? * 335 00:13:04,251 --> 00:13:08,721 * I am in the bushes watching you two skate * 336 00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,090 - * Oh, no, no, no * 337 00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:13,260 - * I am here just through those leaves * 338 00:13:13,326 --> 00:13:14,828 * Can you not feel me? * 339 00:13:14,895 --> 00:13:15,896 - * Oh, no, no * 340 00:13:15,963 --> 00:13:18,798 - * I am staring my hardest * 341 00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:21,301 * But I'm not the one you're skating with * 342 00:13:21,368 --> 00:13:24,471 all: * Oh, no, no, no, no, no. * 343 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:27,374 - * I'm skating by myself * 344 00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:30,443 All alone. 345 00:13:30,510 --> 00:13:33,046 - Yeah. - [giggles] 346 00:13:35,582 --> 00:13:37,584 - Welcome to step two. Homework. 347 00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:38,751 It's important for Nate 348 00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,053 to actually get his homework done. 349 00:13:40,120 --> 00:13:42,089 Not only will he get better grades, 350 00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:44,691 but the academic effort will sharpen his brain. 351 00:13:44,757 --> 00:13:46,559 [all laugh] 352 00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,161 - Can't imagine Nate doing homework. 353 00:13:48,228 --> 00:13:50,463 * * 354 00:13:50,530 --> 00:13:51,664 - [panting] 355 00:13:51,731 --> 00:13:53,901 Chad, we've been at this for hours. 356 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,903 Maybe it's time we attempt... 357 00:13:55,969 --> 00:13:58,005 [whispering] the Rusty Buzzsaw. 358 00:13:58,071 --> 00:13:59,839 - Yeah. I mean, why not? 359 00:13:59,907 --> 00:14:01,708 I've had a full life. 360 00:14:01,774 --> 00:14:05,145 [dramatic music] 361 00:14:05,212 --> 00:14:08,815 * * 362 00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:11,184 - Hmm. - Hmm. 363 00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:17,524 * * 364 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:21,261 - Whoa! [grunts] 365 00:14:21,328 --> 00:14:24,097 - [gasps] What do you think you're doing? 366 00:14:24,164 --> 00:14:27,400 - Ma, Gram, how did you find me? 367 00:14:27,467 --> 00:14:29,069 - We were out milking Sparkles 368 00:14:29,136 --> 00:14:31,104 when Gram picked up your scent. 369 00:14:31,171 --> 00:14:35,008 - Female Applewhites have powerful sniffers. 370 00:14:35,075 --> 00:14:38,545 It's how we survived so long in the Old Country. 371 00:14:38,611 --> 00:14:40,080 - This isn't what it looks like. 372 00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,749 - It looks like my son is engaged 373 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,018 in forbidden moonlight ice skating 374 00:14:45,085 --> 00:14:47,020 with his best friend. 375 00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:49,689 - Well, it's exactly what it looks like. 376 00:14:49,756 --> 00:14:53,626 - Oh, you are grounded indefinitely! 377 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:56,063 - You will never ice skate 378 00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:59,766 or see that foul-smelling Wright boy ever again. 379 00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,034 - [grunts] 380 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:04,871 [whining] 381 00:15:07,774 --> 00:15:10,143 - [sniffs] I smell? 382 00:15:10,210 --> 00:15:12,412 - Martin, welcome to the last step 383 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:16,616 of your training, step three, reverse improv. 384 00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:18,418 Now, are you familiar with the concept 385 00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,819 of "Yes and..."? 386 00:15:19,886 --> 00:15:22,222 - Yes, and-- - No, and! 387 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,057 All right, you're not getting it, 388 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:26,960 so all you have to do is say "No, and" 389 00:15:27,027 --> 00:15:28,261 to our crazy asks. 390 00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:31,531 So when Nate comes to you a nutso idea, 391 00:15:31,598 --> 00:15:33,766 you're ready to say no. 392 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:35,102 [claps] 393 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,404 - Hey, Mr. Wright, I mean, Dad. 394 00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,006 Cool if I skip school for the day 395 00:15:39,072 --> 00:15:40,773 to go skateboarding? 396 00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:42,942 Ugh, I feel dirty even saying that. 397 00:15:43,010 --> 00:15:44,144 Sure thing, son. Ahh. 398 00:15:44,211 --> 00:15:45,812 - Martin! What did I just say 399 00:15:45,878 --> 00:15:47,914 about using "No, and"? 400 00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,017 All right, um, let-- let's try this again. 401 00:15:50,083 --> 00:15:51,618 [clears throat] I'm going to try 402 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:55,655 bungee jumping with a cord made of toilet paper. 403 00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:58,191 - Hmm. Are we talking public restroom toilet paper 404 00:15:58,258 --> 00:16:00,827 or extra plush? I mean, n-- 405 00:16:00,893 --> 00:16:02,762 [vocalizing] 406 00:16:02,829 --> 00:16:05,032 [sighs] Yes. 407 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:06,199 Ahh! 408 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:07,600 - Oh, hey, Dad, can I go kick-flip 409 00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:09,069 off the roof of our house 410 00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:10,703 into a pool filled with pudding? 411 00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,773 - Dream big, kiddo. Ahh! 412 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,176 Ahh! 413 00:16:16,243 --> 00:16:17,810 I don't think I can do this. 414 00:16:17,877 --> 00:16:20,813 [melancholy music] 415 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:23,516 * * 416 00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:26,053 - Ah, Martin, what's wrong? 417 00:16:26,119 --> 00:16:27,954 - Oh, I don't know, Dee Dee. 418 00:16:28,021 --> 00:16:30,557 I guess I just don't like the word "no." 419 00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:33,726 You see, the world has told me no so many times. 420 00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:36,196 Like the time I wanted to start a rock band of mimes 421 00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,065 or wear a trashcan as clothes. 422 00:16:38,131 --> 00:16:40,633 - Mmm. The world just wasn't ready. 423 00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:43,503 - I don't think I have it in me to say no to Nate. 424 00:16:43,570 --> 00:16:46,339 Thanks for trying anyway. 425 00:16:46,406 --> 00:16:49,209 - Poor Nate's dad. He doesn't stand a chance. 426 00:16:52,912 --> 00:16:54,247 [dramatic music] 427 00:16:54,314 --> 00:16:55,815 [whistle twirs] 428 00:16:55,882 --> 00:17:00,087 * * 429 00:17:00,153 --> 00:17:01,754 - [shivering] 430 00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:03,423 - All right, kids. Huddle up and listen here. 431 00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,023 - Oh, hey, Coach John? 432 00:17:05,092 --> 00:17:06,226 Where's Chad? 433 00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:08,060 - He's doing alternative gym. - [gasps] 434 00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,130 But that's for the scary kids. 435 00:17:10,196 --> 00:17:13,099 [rock music plays] 436 00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:19,806 * * 437 00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:25,778 - Ahh! 438 00:17:25,845 --> 00:17:27,747 Psst, hey, Chad. 439 00:17:27,814 --> 00:17:29,382 - Nate, what are you doing here? 440 00:17:29,449 --> 00:17:32,885 - Busting you out. Create a diversion. 441 00:17:32,952 --> 00:17:35,255 - It's so funny how your lips move 442 00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:37,023 without making any noise. 443 00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:39,426 - Oh, for the love of-- 444 00:17:43,130 --> 00:17:44,231 - [growls] 445 00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:46,633 - I said create a diversion. 446 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:50,069 - Okay. [pencil scribbling] 447 00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:51,304 - [groans] 448 00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,340 - Diversion is math, right? 449 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:57,477 - [grunts] Oh, I always gotta do everything myself. 450 00:17:57,544 --> 00:17:59,011 [cocks turkey leg] 451 00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,413 Turkey leg! 452 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:02,815 [splat] 453 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:06,719 [all growling] 454 00:18:07,854 --> 00:18:09,389 - Hey, nice work, partner. 455 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:10,590 - I don't know if we should 456 00:18:10,657 --> 00:18:12,159 really be talking, Nate. 457 00:18:12,225 --> 00:18:13,560 You see, Gram forbid it, 458 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,762 and she's a scary, scary lady. 459 00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:18,998 They used to stick her in fields to scare crows away. 460 00:18:19,065 --> 00:18:22,034 - Chad, focus. I need your help and you need mine. 461 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,337 If we work together, we can break this curse 462 00:18:24,404 --> 00:18:26,473 and pass gym class. 463 00:18:26,539 --> 00:18:29,409 - You know what I have to say to that, Nate? 464 00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:31,911 - Whoa! Do you always wear that? 465 00:18:33,446 --> 00:18:35,014 [golf cart beeping 466 00:18:35,081 --> 00:18:37,417 - Hey, now, ladies and gentisicles, 467 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,685 the ice hockey players have no more time 468 00:18:38,751 --> 00:18:40,320 left on the ice, so it's time 469 00:18:40,387 --> 00:18:42,255 for our figure skaters to take the ice. 470 00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:47,427 The first up, Kim Cressley. All right, give it up. 471 00:18:48,495 --> 00:18:52,665 - Come on, Nate! - [grunting] 472 00:18:54,367 --> 00:18:56,035 - Er, thank you, Kim, 473 00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:57,704 for that very confusing 474 00:18:57,770 --> 00:18:59,872 and slightly concerning performance. 475 00:19:01,841 --> 00:19:04,611 These kids get weirder and weirder every year. 476 00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:07,714 Okay, now, last but not least, 477 00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:10,950 Nate Wright to the ice, please. 478 00:19:11,017 --> 00:19:13,553 * * 479 00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:15,622 Nate Wright! 480 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,490 - Come on, Nate. 481 00:19:17,557 --> 00:19:19,192 * * 482 00:19:19,259 --> 00:19:20,593 - [snickers] 483 00:19:20,660 --> 00:19:23,396 I just love giving Fs in gym. 484 00:19:23,463 --> 00:19:26,666 - Last call for Nate Wright. 485 00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,468 Ahh, there you are. 486 00:19:28,535 --> 00:19:30,670 And it looks like you brought a partner. 487 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,505 [chuckles] These crazy kids love to keep me 488 00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:33,906 on my frost-bitten toes. 489 00:19:33,973 --> 00:19:35,442 - Applewhite, what are you doing 490 00:19:35,508 --> 00:19:37,344 out of your portable? - [sniffs] 491 00:19:37,410 --> 00:19:39,145 - Chad, what are you doing? 492 00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,848 - Something I should have done a long time ago. 493 00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,883 - But your Pop Pop, and his Pop Pop, 494 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:46,052 and his Pop Pop's Pop Pop, and-- 495 00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:47,387 - Ladies, I'm gonna have to insist 496 00:19:47,454 --> 00:19:49,055 that you sit down. Okay? 497 00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:50,657 Booties down, please. Booties down. 498 00:19:50,723 --> 00:19:52,892 Sit your butt-- sit your butt down. 499 00:19:52,959 --> 00:19:56,263 - Partner? - Partner. 500 00:19:56,329 --> 00:20:02,034 - * Tell me how am I supposed to live without you? * 501 00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:09,175 * I've only been loving you so long * 502 00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:10,877 - Hmm. - [grunts] 503 00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:16,215 - * How am I supposed to live without you? * 504 00:20:16,283 --> 00:20:17,717 - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 505 00:20:17,784 --> 00:20:20,953 - * But how am I supposed to carry on? * 506 00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:23,956 - Are they doing the Rusty Buzzsaw? 507 00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:25,658 This move has killed more figure skaters 508 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,395 than Spandex poisoning. Can they do this? 509 00:20:28,461 --> 00:20:29,829 [clears throat] Coach John, 510 00:20:29,896 --> 00:20:31,598 please tell me they signed a liability waiver. 511 00:20:31,664 --> 00:20:32,632 - [grunts] 512 00:20:32,699 --> 00:20:34,967 [ice cracking] 513 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:37,036 - Martin, you can put a stop to this. 514 00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:40,340 Just say no! It's too dangerous. 515 00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:43,676 - Some truly horribly injuries could come from this. 516 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:46,045 Frost bite, limbs snapping like twigs. 517 00:20:46,112 --> 00:20:47,447 - Oh, no! 518 00:20:47,514 --> 00:20:50,583 - Uh-oh. - What were we thinking? 519 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,051 - N-- 520 00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:54,053 - Mr. Wright! - Nate's dad! 521 00:20:54,120 --> 00:20:55,388 both: Ahh! - My God, I don't think 522 00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:59,058 a soul has ever survived this move. 523 00:20:59,125 --> 00:21:00,360 [dramatic music] 524 00:21:00,427 --> 00:21:01,428 both: Ahh! 525 00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:04,030 - Noooo! 526 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:06,566 [all grunt] 527 00:21:06,633 --> 00:21:08,468 - Dad! You saved us! 528 00:21:08,535 --> 00:21:10,803 - No! No! No! 529 00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:13,506 No. No. - You did it, ND. 530 00:21:13,573 --> 00:21:15,074 - Uh, you can stop saying no now. 531 00:21:15,141 --> 00:21:16,743 - No! 532 00:21:16,809 --> 00:21:19,346 Son, I would rather crush your spirit 533 00:21:19,412 --> 00:21:22,982 than have you crush your face doing something dangerous. 534 00:21:23,049 --> 00:21:24,851 - But what about the curse? 535 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:27,720 - Well, technically we completed the move. 536 00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:30,222 My dad just helped us stick the landing. 537 00:21:30,289 --> 00:21:31,658 - Mom! Gram! 538 00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:33,626 The family curse is broken. 539 00:21:33,693 --> 00:21:37,263 - [sobbing] - I love you so much, Gram. 540 00:21:37,330 --> 00:21:39,666 - Thought I had another one. 541 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:42,402 [screeches] 542 00:21:42,469 --> 00:21:44,270 - The "B" is just for barely passing, 543 00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:46,373 and the minus is for the help from Daddy. 544 00:21:46,439 --> 00:21:47,974 - Hmm. 545 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:50,076 Passed gym, broke a curse. 546 00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:53,179 Nobody but Nate Wright could have pulled this off. 547 00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:54,647 Who wants to skate? 548 00:21:54,714 --> 00:21:56,583 - I do, my little ice monkey. 549 00:21:56,649 --> 00:21:57,884 - Can't breathe. 550 00:21:57,950 --> 00:21:59,852 Dad, can you give me a hand? 551 00:21:59,919 --> 00:22:02,522 - Sorry, son, the answer is no. 552 00:22:02,589 --> 00:22:04,657 [laughter] 553 00:22:04,724 --> 00:22:05,825 - His face! 554 00:22:09,562 --> 00:22:12,064 [mellow folk music] 555 00:22:12,131 --> 00:22:19,271 * *