1
00:00:02,524 --> 00:00:06,136
- [heavy breathing]

2
00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:07,224
- [grunts]

3
00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:09,531
[screams]
- [screams]

4
00:00:09,618 --> 00:00:12,273
[grunts]

5
00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,971
- As battle waged on
into the night,

6
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:18,279
the valiant children of PS 38
were simply no match

7
00:00:18,366 --> 00:00:19,802
for the Jefferson Knights.

8
00:00:19,889 --> 00:00:22,413
- [screams]
- [screaming]

9
00:00:22,500 --> 00:00:24,763
- They were smaller.

10
00:00:24,850 --> 00:00:26,069
- [slow-motion] Oh!

11
00:00:26,156 --> 00:00:28,854
- [screaming]

12
00:00:28,941 --> 00:00:30,334
- They were weaker.

13
00:00:30,421 --> 00:00:31,901
- Oh!

14
00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:33,511
- But while their
fierce determination

15
00:00:33,598 --> 00:00:34,643
may have been inspiring...

16
00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:37,211
[both grunt]

17
00:00:37,298 --> 00:00:39,387
PS 38 never stood a chance.

18
00:00:39,474 --> 00:00:42,085
♪ ♪

19
00:00:42,172 --> 00:00:44,609
- [growling]
- [screaming]

20
00:00:48,048 --> 00:00:50,093
[mic feedback]

21
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:52,356
all: Ow.

22
00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:54,054
- Good morning, kiddos.

23
00:00:54,141 --> 00:00:57,622
As many of you know, it's
an exciting week here at PS 38.

24
00:00:57,709 --> 00:00:59,624
- Whoo-hoo-hoo, yeah!
We did it!

25
00:00:59,711 --> 00:01:01,887
[raspy blowing]

26
00:01:01,974 --> 00:01:03,150
- We didn't do anything yet,
Chad.

27
00:01:03,237 --> 00:01:05,108
Pump the brakes, son.
- Okay.

28
00:01:05,194 --> 00:01:06,936
I'll just put
my trumpet away then.

29
00:01:07,023 --> 00:01:08,851
- Not a trumpet.
Just please sit down, Chad!

30
00:01:08,938 --> 00:01:10,722
[clears throat]
This week, PS 38,

31
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:12,115
led by Captain Nate Wright,

32
00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:13,856
will compete
against Jefferson Middle

33
00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:16,640
in the annual Big Freeze
snow sculpture contest,

34
00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:18,817
and once again,
the winner will be awarded...

35
00:01:18,904 --> 00:01:23,387
[slow-motion]
a brand new snack machine.

36
00:01:23,474 --> 00:01:25,607
- ♪ Beardy Yum Yums,
Beardy Yum Yums ♪

37
00:01:25,694 --> 00:01:26,695
♪ Beardy Yum Yums ♪

38
00:01:26,782 --> 00:01:30,045
Snack machine.

39
00:01:30,133 --> 00:01:31,743
We gotta win that contest.

40
00:01:31,830 --> 00:01:33,527
Jefferson is already
up to their earlobes

41
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,269
in state-of-the-art
snack machines.

42
00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:38,271
[elevator music]

43
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:40,404
♪ ♪

44
00:01:40,491 --> 00:01:41,491
- Sweet.

45
00:01:41,579 --> 00:01:43,103
♪ ♪

46
00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,148
- Us?
We've got Old Hank.

47
00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,285
- Oh man,
I got loose seaweed again!

48
00:01:51,372 --> 00:01:52,895
- If we're gonna pull this off,

49
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,462
we need
a leader delusional enough

50
00:01:54,549 --> 00:01:56,116
to think we can beat Jefferson.

51
00:01:56,203 --> 00:01:57,900
- [chuckles]
He means me.

52
00:01:57,987 --> 00:02:00,468
[upbeat music]

53
00:02:00,555 --> 00:02:02,905
- ♪ Don't want to go
to school today ♪

54
00:02:02,992 --> 00:02:05,603
♪ The sun is red hot
and I wanna play ♪

55
00:02:05,690 --> 00:02:08,127
♪ But if I get caught
they'll make me pay ♪

56
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,868
♪ Detention again ♪

57
00:02:09,955 --> 00:02:11,522
- ♪ Big Nate, Big Nate ♪

58
00:02:11,609 --> 00:02:12,741
- ♪ Math and social studies
just ain't my thing ♪

59
00:02:12,828 --> 00:02:14,351
- ♪ Big Nate, Big Nate ♪

60
00:02:14,438 --> 00:02:16,223
- ♪ Rocking with my band
is where I'm king ♪

61
00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:21,793
♪ Stealing the teacher's teeth
or bailing on a test ♪

62
00:02:21,880 --> 00:02:23,926
- ♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪

63
00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:25,232
♪ Big Nate ♪

64
00:02:25,319 --> 00:02:26,841
[loud clang]

65
00:02:26,929 --> 00:02:29,758
[loud crash]

66
00:02:29,845 --> 00:02:32,543
[Europe's "The Final
Countdown" plays]

67
00:02:32,630 --> 00:02:36,591
[cheering]

68
00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:40,595
- And now, introducing
Jefferson's sculpture brigade's

69
00:02:40,682 --> 00:02:43,554
team captain,
who needs no introduction,

70
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:46,383
my boyfriend, Nolan Vaughn!

71
00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:49,386
[cheering]

72
00:02:50,822 --> 00:02:52,084
- Oh! Ah! Oh!

73
00:02:53,956 --> 00:02:56,437
What up, Jefferson?

74
00:02:56,524 --> 00:02:58,395
[cheering]

75
00:02:58,482 --> 00:03:00,267
All right,
thanks for the intro, Dina.

76
00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:01,790
- [giggles]

77
00:03:01,877 --> 00:03:05,054
- So, you all know
we win this thing every year.

78
00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:08,797
And as your new sixth-grade
captain, I pledge allegiance

79
00:03:08,884 --> 00:03:13,193
to myself that I will fight
pretty much to the death

80
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,630
to make sure
we win again this year.

81
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,371
[cheering]
- Marry me, Nolan!

82
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:20,025
- Ha, sorry, pal.
I'm taken.

83
00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:21,766
But I can do you one better.

84
00:03:21,853 --> 00:03:23,986
As Jefferson's
very own artistic prodigy,

85
00:03:24,073 --> 00:03:27,642
I promise to bring home
our 16th consecutive

86
00:03:27,728 --> 00:03:30,340
snack machine!

87
00:03:30,427 --> 00:03:32,734
[cheering]

88
00:03:34,170 --> 00:03:35,606
- [screams]

89
00:03:35,692 --> 00:03:36,954
- Winner gets
a new snack machine.

90
00:03:37,042 --> 00:03:38,522
Pretty sweet, eh, amigo?

91
00:03:38,609 --> 00:03:40,785
- Nate's practically been
dreaming of this opportunity

92
00:03:40,872 --> 00:03:42,483
his entire life.

93
00:03:42,570 --> 00:03:44,049
- [sighs] It's finally time

94
00:03:44,136 --> 00:03:46,442
to say farewell to Old Hank.

95
00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:51,883
- Hmm?

96
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,581
[whimpers]

97
00:03:53,668 --> 00:03:56,061
[screams]

98
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:57,889
- Oh, I can almost taste

99
00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,978
those tasty, non-expired
snacks already!

100
00:04:00,065 --> 00:04:01,893
[all scream]
- Hopefully, the new machine

101
00:04:01,980 --> 00:04:05,636
will have better stuff in it,
like Glucklich Rentier Knochel!

102
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,247
Caramel on the outside,

103
00:04:07,334 --> 00:04:08,726
reindeer knuckles
on the inside.

104
00:04:08,813 --> 00:04:10,424
- Mmm.

105
00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:12,208
- May cause constipation,
diarrhea, dry mouth,

106
00:04:12,295 --> 00:04:14,254
and, in extreme cases,
cornea explosion.

107
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,779
- They're pretty popular.

108
00:04:17,866 --> 00:04:19,214
- Anyway...

109
00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:21,043
It's gonna feel pretty good

110
00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:24,089
to be able to bring this school
what it so desperately needs--

111
00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:26,309
nay, what it deserves!

112
00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:27,354
No offense, Hank.

113
00:04:27,441 --> 00:04:29,747
- [hoarse hissing]

114
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:30,748
- Hey, don't worry, guys.

115
00:04:30,835 --> 00:04:32,097
You're in good hands.

116
00:04:32,183 --> 00:04:34,883
Whoever we're up against
pales in comparison

117
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:37,451
to the slayer of knights,
causer of gingivitis,

118
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:39,670
bringer of joy and cavities,

119
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:40,671
king of the snacks--

120
00:04:40,758 --> 00:04:42,064
- [yells] Nate Wright?

121
00:04:42,151 --> 00:04:43,935
He's the captain
of their Big Freeze team?

122
00:04:44,022 --> 00:04:46,286
- Who cares?
Do you even know this boy?

123
00:04:46,373 --> 00:04:48,331
- Uh, hello?
- He's my artistic rival,

124
00:04:48,418 --> 00:04:50,115
my archnemesis!

125
00:04:50,202 --> 00:04:52,422
- Nolan Vaughn?
Why him?

126
00:04:52,509 --> 00:04:54,642
- [groans] I cannot believe
we're competing

127
00:04:54,729 --> 00:04:56,818
against the buttiest butt brain
of all butt brains!

128
00:04:56,905 --> 00:04:58,863
- Who is this Nolan kid anyway?

129
00:04:58,950 --> 00:05:01,257
- Uh, hello?
He's my artistic rival,

130
00:05:01,344 --> 00:05:04,086
my archnemesis.
[yells]

131
00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:06,306
both: Ooh, how I hate him.

132
00:05:06,393 --> 00:05:09,221
[somber violin plays]

133
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,702
- Back in kindergarten,
Nate and I were best buds.

134
00:05:11,789 --> 00:05:12,964
We did everything together.

135
00:05:13,051 --> 00:05:15,619
But he always
had to be better than me.

136
00:05:15,706 --> 00:05:17,795
He had to build
a better sand castle.

137
00:05:17,882 --> 00:05:20,102
He had to score
the winning goal.

138
00:05:20,189 --> 00:05:22,670
- Hey, look over there!
- Ow!

139
00:05:22,757 --> 00:05:24,628
But one day,
he just up and decided

140
00:05:24,715 --> 00:05:26,804
he didn't wanna be friends
with me anymore.

141
00:05:26,891 --> 00:05:28,850
Guess he just couldn't stand
the thought of someone

142
00:05:28,937 --> 00:05:30,765
who was just as talented
as he was.

143
00:05:30,852 --> 00:05:34,464
It was too much
for his fragile little ego.

144
00:05:34,551 --> 00:05:37,162
After that, my family
moved to a new neighborhood.

145
00:05:37,249 --> 00:05:39,295
Our friendship was over!
[both laugh]

146
00:05:39,382 --> 00:05:41,341
He's dead to me now!

147
00:05:41,428 --> 00:05:43,995
- Back in kindergarten,
Nolan and I were best buds.

148
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,694
But he took credit
for everything I did.

149
00:05:46,781 --> 00:05:49,914
I'd build a sand castle,
and he'd take the credit.

150
00:05:50,001 --> 00:05:52,308
In sports, he did
whatever it took to beat me,

151
00:05:52,395 --> 00:05:55,137
even when we
were on the same team.

152
00:05:55,224 --> 00:05:57,835
And worst of all,
he stole all my cartoon ideas

153
00:05:57,922 --> 00:05:59,707
and made it look like
Iwas copying him!

154
00:05:59,794 --> 00:06:02,666
I decided then and there
to do the unthinkable.

155
00:06:02,753 --> 00:06:04,059
I told the teacher.
[all gasp]

156
00:06:04,146 --> 00:06:06,540
- Blasphemy!
- His parents were all,

157
00:06:06,627 --> 00:06:08,716
"Ooh, our precious Nolan
would never cheat."

158
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,108
They thought
I was a bad influence,

159
00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:11,762
so they pulled him
out of school.

160
00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:15,331
Ever since then, we've been
archnemesiseseseses--

161
00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,507
well, you get the point.

162
00:06:17,594 --> 00:06:19,857
both: Now's my chance
to finally prove

163
00:06:19,944 --> 00:06:21,424
I'm better than him.

164
00:06:21,511 --> 00:06:23,731
He will be defeated,
and I will make sure

165
00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:26,342
he and his slimy,
arrogant friends

166
00:06:26,429 --> 00:06:29,040
never get their hands
on that snack machine ever!

167
00:06:33,044 --> 00:06:35,046
- All right, Team Awesome!

168
00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:37,135
I thought these getups
might help with team spirit.

169
00:06:37,222 --> 00:06:39,616
Ooh,
I love teamwork and spirit

170
00:06:39,703 --> 00:06:41,052
and tie-dye--
somebody pinch me!

171
00:06:41,139 --> 00:06:43,794
- Pinch, pinch, pinch...
- No touchy!

172
00:06:43,881 --> 00:06:45,187
- Uh, are these nightgowns?

173
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:46,754
- Nightgown man,
I'm nightgown man,

174
00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,582
I'm nightgown man!
- I used my dad's shirts.

175
00:06:48,669 --> 00:06:49,844
- [screams]
- He's a large man.

176
00:06:49,931 --> 00:06:52,629
- Yeah, okay.
Thanks, Dee Dee.

177
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,414
- Says here in
the Big Freeze handbook,

178
00:06:54,501 --> 00:06:56,981
"The only rule is to work
together as a team

179
00:06:57,068 --> 00:06:59,462
to build a snow sculpture
entirely out of snow."

180
00:06:59,549 --> 00:07:00,855
Ha, seems simply enough.

181
00:07:00,942 --> 00:07:02,378
- Hey, um,
could I see that for a second?

182
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:05,337
[rock music]

183
00:07:05,425 --> 00:07:06,643
♪ ♪

184
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:09,690
[eagle burps]
- [groans] My sternum!

185
00:07:09,777 --> 00:07:12,649
Can somebody help me, please?

186
00:07:12,736 --> 00:07:15,217
- Ah, rules are for
contractors and debutantes.

187
00:07:15,304 --> 00:07:17,654
Fortunately, I came prepared.
I call this

188
00:07:17,741 --> 00:07:20,788
"Nate's Awesome Book of
Genius Snow Sculpture Ideas."

189
00:07:20,875 --> 00:07:22,703
Feast your eyeholes on this:

190
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:25,619
a dragon that breathes fire,

191
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:28,143
or a flying horse
that breathes fire,

192
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:29,666
or a llama...

193
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,189
that, obviously,
breathes fire.

194
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:33,278
[llama baas]

195
00:07:33,365 --> 00:07:35,542
- You really got a thing
for fire-breathing animals,

196
00:07:35,629 --> 00:07:37,457
don't you?
- It's a passion.

197
00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:40,808
The point is, somewhere in this
book is PS 38's winning idea,

198
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:42,549
and this face
is gonna look great

199
00:07:42,636 --> 00:07:44,464
squashing Nolan
on live TV.

200
00:07:44,551 --> 00:07:46,857
- Nate, don't pose like that.
You have weird knees.

201
00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:48,206
- What?
Naw, I don't have weird knees.

202
00:07:48,293 --> 00:07:50,034
- It's no big deal.
It's your thing!

203
00:07:50,121 --> 00:07:51,558
- Chad, back me up here.
Do I have weird knees?

204
00:07:51,645 --> 00:07:53,516
- Um, yes, no.
Carry the four.

205
00:07:53,603 --> 00:07:55,866
[screams]

206
00:07:55,953 --> 00:07:57,302
[sneezing]
- I'm just gonna assume

207
00:07:57,389 --> 00:07:59,087
that isn't asbestos.
- I'll take that bet!

208
00:07:59,174 --> 00:08:02,003
- All right, guys--
back to the task at hand.

209
00:08:02,090 --> 00:08:04,135
What if we go old-school
with our sculpture,

210
00:08:04,222 --> 00:08:07,399
like the original PS 38 mascot
from the 1930s?

211
00:08:07,487 --> 00:08:09,010
- Field Marshall Potato?

212
00:08:09,097 --> 00:08:12,579
- Flarbity boo!
[farts]

213
00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,885
Flar.
- A potato?

214
00:08:14,972 --> 00:08:17,366
Yeah,
I might have to veto that one.

215
00:08:17,453 --> 00:08:20,325
- What if we supercharge
the potato and give him a cape?

216
00:08:20,412 --> 00:08:22,023
- Oh, ah!
- Okay, let me explain

217
00:08:22,110 --> 00:08:23,981
what "veto" means.
- Ooh, ooh, now we're talking!

218
00:08:24,068 --> 00:08:26,636
Ooh, maybe some
dinosaur spikes too?

219
00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:29,030
I mean, if we're gonna go
with imaginary animals.

220
00:08:29,117 --> 00:08:31,119
- Uh, you do know
dinosaurs were real.

221
00:08:31,206 --> 00:08:32,511
- [laughs]
- [laughs]

222
00:08:32,599 --> 00:08:34,251
- Right,
and next you're gonna tell me

223
00:08:34,338 --> 00:08:36,602
that the Earth is round.
[laughing]

224
00:08:36,690 --> 00:08:38,212
Oh, good one, bro.

225
00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:39,562
- [screams]

226
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:43,523
We'll rename her
the PS 38 Super Potatosaur!

227
00:08:43,610 --> 00:08:46,221
[monster voice] Potatosaur!

228
00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:48,615
all: Potato rawr!

229
00:08:48,702 --> 00:08:51,531
[all make animal sounds]

230
00:08:51,618 --> 00:08:54,055
- Guys, potatoes don't win
snack machines

231
00:08:54,142 --> 00:08:56,144
or make any sounds!
Need I remind you

232
00:08:56,231 --> 00:08:58,494
we're up
against Nolan Vaughn here?

233
00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:01,149
The guy's a scuzzball,
but he's got moxie!

234
00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:03,238
You know he's working
on something right now!

235
00:09:03,325 --> 00:09:04,587
- Flarbity boo!

236
00:09:04,674 --> 00:09:06,328
- [grunts]

237
00:09:06,415 --> 00:09:09,331
- Babe, I promise
I'll plan something amazing

238
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:11,507
for our three-week anniversary.
But this is a big deal!

239
00:09:11,594 --> 00:09:13,335
I've always been
a better artist than Nate,

240
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:15,163
and now's my chance
to prove it!

241
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:17,818
- Nolan, you haven't stopped
talking about Nate Wright

242
00:09:17,905 --> 00:09:19,863
in days.
- Ah, psh.

243
00:09:19,950 --> 00:09:21,386
I talk--
I talk about other stuff--

244
00:09:21,473 --> 00:09:23,345
all the time, actually.

245
00:09:23,432 --> 00:09:25,434
[rock music]

246
00:09:25,521 --> 00:09:27,958
Nate Wright's such a loser,
right?

247
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,525
What'cha guys talkin' about?
Let me guess:

248
00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:31,048
ways to beat Nate Wright?

249
00:09:31,135 --> 00:09:33,660
What is...Nate Wright?

250
00:09:33,747 --> 00:09:35,966
Sure, okay, okay.
I see a pattern--

251
00:09:36,053 --> 00:09:39,491
a pattern
of determination by me

252
00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:44,018
to see Nate Wright
go down in flames.

253
00:09:44,105 --> 00:09:45,062
- Hey Nolan.
Look at me.

254
00:09:45,149 --> 00:09:47,021
I came as fast as I could, huh?

255
00:09:47,108 --> 00:09:48,239
Word on the street
is that Nate Wright

256
00:09:48,326 --> 00:09:50,459
is cookin' up
something incredible at PS 38.

257
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,374
[slurps]

258
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:55,290
- Not if I can help it!

259
00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:56,378
- [grunts]

260
00:09:56,465 --> 00:09:58,032
- Snowman wipe.

261
00:09:58,119 --> 00:10:00,861
- Ooh, great first day, team.

262
00:10:00,948 --> 00:10:01,949
Tell your parents
I'm sorry I kept you.

263
00:10:04,429 --> 00:10:07,519
[spy music]

264
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:12,916
♪ ♪

265
00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:14,135
[rooster crows]

266
00:10:14,222 --> 00:10:15,440
[tires squeal]
- [grunts]

267
00:10:15,527 --> 00:10:17,791
- And back to work we--

268
00:10:17,878 --> 00:10:19,880
go...
- [screams]

269
00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:22,012
Nate, how are we
supposed to win with that?

270
00:10:24,536 --> 00:10:26,626
- Principal Nichols,
that is not the snow sculpture

271
00:10:26,713 --> 00:10:27,888
we started.
I, uh--

272
00:10:27,975 --> 00:10:29,193
- I need you all
to get serious!

273
00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,804
I'm counting on that raise

274
00:10:30,891 --> 00:10:32,501
to get a couple
of bill collectors off my back,

275
00:10:32,588 --> 00:10:35,547
and of course a new
snack machine for you kiddos.

276
00:10:35,635 --> 00:10:37,288
What happened here?

277
00:10:37,375 --> 00:10:39,943
- Nolan happened.
He always had a weird thing

278
00:10:40,030 --> 00:10:41,423
for fingers.
We can't let him win.

279
00:10:41,510 --> 00:10:44,165
We must rebuild...

280
00:10:44,252 --> 00:10:45,340
[all sigh]

281
00:10:47,690 --> 00:10:48,996
I think you're gonna be excited

282
00:10:49,083 --> 00:10:50,475
about this one,
Principal Nichols.

283
00:10:50,562 --> 00:10:52,652
The word "masterpiece"
comes to mind.

284
00:10:52,739 --> 00:10:53,827
Masterpiece?
[laughs]

285
00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:56,786
I'm so excited!
- [laughs]

286
00:10:56,873 --> 00:10:59,354
- Okay!
And... look!

287
00:11:01,878 --> 00:11:04,359
[all scream]

288
00:11:04,446 --> 00:11:07,188
- Nolan!

289
00:11:07,275 --> 00:11:09,886
- Sweet baby back ribs!
We're gonna lose,

290
00:11:09,973 --> 00:11:11,409
and at this rate,
I'll be fired!

291
00:11:11,496 --> 00:11:14,369
[somber music]

292
00:11:16,197 --> 00:11:18,590
- Attention!
Soldiers, if we're going to win

293
00:11:18,678 --> 00:11:20,070
this thing,
we have to be strong,

294
00:11:20,157 --> 00:11:23,595
ruthless, cold as ice!
[all chattering]

295
00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:24,945
Look, I get it, guys.

296
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:27,208
But we can't just go home,
or sleep,

297
00:11:27,295 --> 00:11:29,906
or pay attention
to personal hygiene.

298
00:11:29,993 --> 00:11:31,691
We have to beat Nolan!

299
00:11:31,778 --> 00:11:32,909
All right, now, come on.
Come on.

300
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:33,954
Look at me.
Watch, watch.

301
00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:36,043
Look at my speed.
Look at my form.

302
00:11:36,130 --> 00:11:37,087
You see my form?
You see how I'm doing this?

303
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:39,655
It's all in the wrist.

304
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:42,005
And...there we go.
Ha, see?

305
00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:46,531
[coughing]
[screams]

306
00:11:46,618 --> 00:11:48,098
- W-w-what was that noise?

307
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:49,926
Sweet pepperoni mustache,
what is that?

308
00:11:52,102 --> 00:11:53,147
Ugh, okay.
So over the course

309
00:11:53,234 --> 00:11:54,670
of this entire week,

310
00:11:54,757 --> 00:11:56,672
under the excellent leadership
of Nate Wright,

311
00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,979
Team Awesome has made
zero progress?

312
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:00,894
[cell phone rings]
Hello?

313
00:12:00,981 --> 00:12:03,157
Wha--no!
You cannot repossess

314
00:12:03,244 --> 00:12:05,725
my memory foam toilet seat!
I forbid it!

315
00:12:05,812 --> 00:12:07,248
[cries]
- Uh...

316
00:12:07,335 --> 00:12:10,077
[stammers]
Don't worry!

317
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:11,948
I got another idea.
- Nate.

318
00:12:12,035 --> 00:12:13,167
We don't wanna do this anymore.

319
00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:16,170
This rivalry between you
and Nolan--it's too much!

320
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:18,694
- Yeah, we haven't seen
our parents in days!

321
00:12:18,781 --> 00:12:20,522
all: We quit.

322
00:12:20,609 --> 00:12:22,437
- And so does Chad.

323
00:12:22,524 --> 00:12:25,048
- Ah, fine.
I'll do it myself.

324
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,748
[groans]
Some friends I have.

325
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:31,576
I'm the only one who--

326
00:12:31,663 --> 00:12:36,843
- I remember your place being
a teardown, but still, yeesh!

327
00:12:36,930 --> 00:12:38,975
[dog barks]

328
00:12:39,062 --> 00:12:41,282
- [groans]
What do you want, Nolan?

329
00:12:41,369 --> 00:12:43,414
- Wanna get in the car?
I've got the heat going.

330
00:12:43,501 --> 00:12:45,939
- Yeah, it's gonna be
a "no" from me, dog.

331
00:12:46,026 --> 00:12:47,070
My dad always taught me that

332
00:12:47,157 --> 00:12:49,769
not having heat
builds character.

333
00:12:49,856 --> 00:12:52,206
- I've always liked you, Nate.

334
00:12:52,293 --> 00:12:55,122
You and me--we're cut
from the same sandwich.

335
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:56,776
- No, we're not,
because your sandwich

336
00:12:56,863 --> 00:12:59,039
is clearly made from butt.
It's a butt sandwich.

337
00:12:59,126 --> 00:13:02,216
- Sure you don't wanna come in?
I've got a snack machine.

338
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:04,392
- In the car?
I mean, come on, man--

339
00:13:04,479 --> 00:13:06,133
wait, really?

340
00:13:06,220 --> 00:13:07,221
[Backstreet Boys' "I'll
Never Break Your Heart" plays]

341
00:13:07,308 --> 00:13:10,398
- ♪ The first day that I saw ♪

342
00:13:10,485 --> 00:13:13,357
- Beardy Yum Yum?

343
00:13:13,444 --> 00:13:15,011
Have you ever wondered
what it would feel like

344
00:13:15,098 --> 00:13:17,144
to be a part
of a winning school?

345
00:13:17,231 --> 00:13:18,798
- Pfft, yeah.
But I'm gonna find out

346
00:13:18,885 --> 00:13:22,671
soon enough, after I clobber
you and your Jefferson lackies.

347
00:13:22,758 --> 00:13:25,152
[hollers like a whale]

348
00:13:25,239 --> 00:13:26,980
If it's unclear,
those are whale noises.

349
00:13:27,067 --> 00:13:28,372
- I find everything
you're doing very triggering.

350
00:13:28,459 --> 00:13:29,765
[exhales] But...

351
00:13:29,852 --> 00:13:31,245
I didn't come here to argue.

352
00:13:31,332 --> 00:13:32,986
I came here
to make a confession.

353
00:13:33,073 --> 00:13:34,596
You're better than I am, Nate.

354
00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:36,990
- Oh, yeah?
Well, you're--wait.

355
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,513
What?
- I'm serious.

356
00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:41,951
I'm the only one who truly
appreciates your talents.

357
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:44,519
You know, I cheated off you
when we were kids.

358
00:13:44,606 --> 00:13:45,868
- Yeah, that's not exactly
a news flash, dude.

359
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,435
You were a total weasel.

360
00:13:47,522 --> 00:13:51,221
- Well, I'm sorry, and
I'm also sorry I lied to you

361
00:13:51,308 --> 00:13:53,310
about the Moon
being made out of queso.

362
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:54,877
- You're a little late
with the apology.

363
00:13:54,964 --> 00:13:57,227
I dreamed of dipping my chips
in zero gravity!

364
00:13:57,314 --> 00:13:58,446
- See?
Right there!

365
00:13:58,533 --> 00:14:00,274
That's the Nate Wright
I remember.

366
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:02,885
Come on, let's win this thing
together!

367
00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:04,104
I miss you, man!

368
00:14:05,975 --> 00:14:07,107
[moans]
Oh, yeah.

369
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:08,499
That's the stuff.

370
00:14:08,586 --> 00:14:11,981
Listen, it's time
we let bygones be bygones.

371
00:14:12,068 --> 00:14:13,591
We could both be winners.

372
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:16,246
You'll be treated
with respect and dignity,

373
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:18,683
praised
for your artistic genius.

374
00:14:18,770 --> 00:14:21,686
Don't you want that?
- Okay, okay.

375
00:14:21,773 --> 00:14:24,254
Let's say I did decide
to come to Jefferson.

376
00:14:24,341 --> 00:14:25,647
How would I get in?

377
00:14:25,734 --> 00:14:28,824
[spy music]

378
00:14:28,911 --> 00:14:30,217
♪ ♪

379
00:14:30,304 --> 00:14:33,133
Hmm.

380
00:14:33,220 --> 00:14:36,223
- Nate Wright,
a Jefferson Knight.

381
00:14:36,310 --> 00:14:37,659
- Think we'll ever see him
again?

382
00:14:37,746 --> 00:14:39,879
- Nah,
kids never see each other

383
00:14:39,966 --> 00:14:41,576
after transferring schools.

384
00:14:41,663 --> 00:14:44,274
Parents say we will, but...
[scoffs] it's all lies.

385
00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:48,148
- [cries]
Nate, don't leave me with them!

386
00:14:48,235 --> 00:14:49,323
- I can't believe it.

387
00:14:49,410 --> 00:14:51,542
Best friends
since kindergarten.

388
00:14:51,629 --> 00:14:54,110
- Francis, you're the captain
of Team Awesome now.

389
00:14:54,197 --> 00:14:55,415
- You're captain now?

390
00:14:55,503 --> 00:14:57,853
That means
we can do Super Potatosaur!

391
00:14:57,940 --> 00:14:58,898
[school bell rings]

392
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,508
- So head on in here,

393
00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:02,814
and we'll get you hooked up
with a retinal scan

394
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,904
for snack machine access.

395
00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:07,645
- Did you say "retinal scan?"
- Yeah, of course.

396
00:15:07,732 --> 00:15:11,084
How do you guys access your
snack machines at PS 30-lame?

397
00:15:11,171 --> 00:15:14,826
- [grunting]

398
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:18,656
[screams]

399
00:15:18,743 --> 00:15:20,484
- [burps]

400
00:15:20,571 --> 00:15:22,356
- Brigade meets in an hour
at the soccer field

401
00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:25,663
to get our build on.
Wow, look at us,

402
00:15:25,750 --> 00:15:29,232
reunited at last.

403
00:15:29,319 --> 00:15:31,887
- So your solution
to ending this

404
00:15:31,974 --> 00:15:34,542
was bringing Nate
even more into your life?

405
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:36,544
- Dina... Deen!

406
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:39,415
My little Deengleberry,
don't you see?

407
00:15:39,503 --> 00:15:41,375
Now that Nate
goes to Jefferson,

408
00:15:41,462 --> 00:15:43,333
he's no longer a threat.
I've already won!

409
00:15:43,420 --> 00:15:45,640
Best part is, Nate has no idea.

410
00:15:45,727 --> 00:15:47,729
But he will soon...

411
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:50,079
[ominous music]

412
00:15:51,820 --> 00:15:53,822
- Hello?
Hello?

413
00:15:53,909 --> 00:15:57,043
Huh, according to the map,
the field should be right here.

414
00:15:57,130 --> 00:15:59,393
[spy music]

415
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,699
What?
They're just laying around.

416
00:16:01,786 --> 00:16:05,529
Wait a minute.
This isn't the soccer field!

417
00:16:05,616 --> 00:16:06,530
[screams]

418
00:16:09,577 --> 00:16:11,883
That slimy malt-worm
is icing me out,

419
00:16:11,971 --> 00:16:13,885
literally and metaphorically!

420
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:17,106
[rock music]

421
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,152
[both grunt]
[horn blares]

422
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:20,718
- Yeah!
Up top, guys!

423
00:16:20,805 --> 00:16:22,546
Whoa!

424
00:16:22,633 --> 00:16:24,984
Wha-wh-whoa!

425
00:16:25,071 --> 00:16:26,550
- Well played, Nolan.

426
00:16:26,637 --> 00:16:28,988
The places I had to pry
those frozen leeches from

427
00:16:29,075 --> 00:16:30,511
I will never speak of again.

428
00:16:30,598 --> 00:16:32,556
- I don't know what you're
talking about, Nate.

429
00:16:32,643 --> 00:16:33,905
We missed you
at sculpture-building hour.

430
00:16:33,993 --> 00:16:36,082
- Oh, shut your whale hole,
Nolan!

431
00:16:36,169 --> 00:16:39,346
You recruited me to Jefferson
so you'd have no competition.

432
00:16:39,433 --> 00:16:41,609
But guess what.
You still have to design

433
00:16:41,696 --> 00:16:44,742
and build an original snow
sculpture, which we all know

434
00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,353
you're not creative enough
to do.

435
00:16:46,440 --> 00:16:49,443
So, ha!
- Oh, you poor thing.

436
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,314
We aren't gonna build
a sculpture.

437
00:16:51,401 --> 00:16:53,055
- Uh, what do you mean?

438
00:16:53,142 --> 00:16:54,970
- Eh, I guess it doesn't matter
if you know at this point.

439
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:57,277
[whispers indistinctly]

440
00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:59,583
- Seriously?
- Pretty genius, right?

441
00:16:59,670 --> 00:17:01,411
Judges will never
figure it out.

442
00:17:01,498 --> 00:17:03,500
Anybody craving
Beardy Yum Yums?

443
00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:06,199
- [growls]

444
00:17:11,073 --> 00:17:11,682
- Well, it's the day we've all
been waiting for, folks:

445
00:17:11,769 --> 00:17:13,467
the Big Freeze.

446
00:17:13,554 --> 00:17:16,035
Hello, I'm Wink Summers,
former chief meteorologist

447
00:17:16,122 --> 00:17:18,166
for "Channel 12 Action News,"

448
00:17:18,253 --> 00:17:20,517
pretending not to be devastated
by my recent demotion

449
00:17:20,604 --> 00:17:23,128
to covering human interest
stories like this one.

450
00:17:23,215 --> 00:17:25,479
Kick it to the curb, youngster.

451
00:17:25,566 --> 00:17:27,611
- Make way for PS 38!

452
00:17:27,698 --> 00:17:32,181
- [scatting]

453
00:17:32,268 --> 00:17:34,009
- Remember, kids,
smile through the tears.

454
00:17:34,096 --> 00:17:36,185
Smile through the tears.
Happy faces.

455
00:17:36,272 --> 00:17:39,580
Judges love happy.
Happy, happy, happy.

456
00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:43,192
- Introducing
Jefferson Middle!

457
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:47,588
- Wow.
all: Whoa.

458
00:17:47,675 --> 00:17:49,198
- Everyone, shush!

459
00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:53,289
Jefferson Middle will now
reveal our amazing sculpture.

460
00:17:53,376 --> 00:17:57,685
Presenting
the Jefferson Knight!

461
00:17:57,772 --> 00:17:59,643
[glorious music]

462
00:17:59,730 --> 00:18:01,384
[all gasp]

463
00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:03,082
[cheers]

464
00:18:03,169 --> 00:18:04,170
[all gasp]

465
00:18:04,257 --> 00:18:06,389
♪ ♪

466
00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:08,913
- A near-perfect score
for Jefferson.

467
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,785
Gonna be tough to beat.

468
00:18:10,872 --> 00:18:12,613
- Okay, guys.
We did our best,

469
00:18:12,700 --> 00:18:14,658
which probably
was woefully insufficient.

470
00:18:14,745 --> 00:18:16,486
But if we go down, which--
let's be honest with ourselves,

471
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:19,228
we probably will--
we go down as a team!

472
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:21,796
- Dude, worst pep talk ever.
- What are we?

473
00:18:21,883 --> 00:18:24,494
all: Team Awesome!

474
00:18:24,581 --> 00:18:27,280
[all scream]

475
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:30,979
- It looks like a squashed ham.
- A circle cheese, I think.

476
00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,112
- It's a basketball!
Right?

477
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:34,983
Is it? It is.
[chuckles nervously]

478
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:39,292
[baby cries]

479
00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:41,859
- Super Potatosaur.

480
00:18:41,946 --> 00:18:44,471
You are uglier
than I ever imagined.

481
00:18:44,558 --> 00:18:46,777
- The judges are
indiscernibly deliberating,

482
00:18:46,864 --> 00:18:50,172
but we have a pretty good idea
of the winner here.

483
00:18:52,479 --> 00:18:54,524
[horn blares]
- Jefferson wins!

484
00:18:54,611 --> 00:18:58,006
PS 38 loses!
I win!

485
00:18:58,093 --> 00:19:00,878
New snack machine!
Booyah!

486
00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:05,274
[cheering]

487
00:19:05,361 --> 00:19:08,059
- Hold on.
It appears that PS 38

488
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:11,019
is lining up
in some kind of formation.

489
00:19:11,106 --> 00:19:15,241
- Potato rawr!
Potato rawr!

490
00:19:15,328 --> 00:19:17,286
Now!

491
00:19:17,373 --> 00:19:19,245
[rock music]

492
00:19:19,332 --> 00:19:22,248
- Ah, a snowball ambush!
[screams]

493
00:19:22,335 --> 00:19:24,163
- Zeff, the knight--
get the knight!

494
00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:25,251
Come on, man!

495
00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:30,604
- [slow-motion] No!

496
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:33,084
[all gasp in slow-motion]

497
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:35,261
- I know what you're thinkin'.

498
00:19:35,348 --> 00:19:37,263
What in pearl's mother
is happening?

499
00:19:37,350 --> 00:19:39,090
Please enjoy
this expositional flashback.

500
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,614
It should clear
some things up a bit.

501
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:43,443
[somber music]

502
00:19:43,530 --> 00:19:44,531
- Hey, guys.

503
00:19:44,618 --> 00:19:46,054
- Nate,
what are you doing here?

504
00:19:46,141 --> 00:19:48,578
- [sighs]
I messed up really bad.

505
00:19:48,665 --> 00:19:51,146
I shouldn't have let beating
Nolan become more important

506
00:19:51,233 --> 00:19:54,323
than my best friends,
and hey, I'm really sorry.

507
00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:56,543
- Thanks, Nate,
That means a lot.

508
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,066
We know how much
you hate apologizing.

509
00:19:58,153 --> 00:19:59,633
- It's true.
I do.

510
00:19:59,720 --> 00:20:01,809
- You comin' back, Nate?
- I am, Chad.

511
00:20:01,896 --> 00:20:04,855
But I need
all of your help first.

512
00:20:04,942 --> 00:20:05,900
all: Mm-hmm.

513
00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:07,641
- Someone's got a plan.

514
00:20:10,992 --> 00:20:15,562
[all screaming]

515
00:20:15,649 --> 00:20:18,869
- It's the statue from outside
of Jefferson Middle School!

516
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:21,176
They cheated!

517
00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:23,309
- The hashtag #JeffersonHoax

518
00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:25,615
is unfolding right before
our very eyes!

519
00:20:25,702 --> 00:20:27,226
Jefferson cheated!
They cheated,

520
00:20:27,313 --> 00:20:30,925
they cheated, they cheated!
I'm a real reporter!

521
00:20:31,012 --> 00:20:33,754
[all jeering]

522
00:20:33,841 --> 00:20:36,322
- The champion
of this year's Big Freeze is...

523
00:20:36,409 --> 00:20:37,845
PS 38!

524
00:20:37,932 --> 00:20:39,847
[all cheering]

525
00:20:39,934 --> 00:20:41,283
- [chuckles] You did it, kids!

526
00:20:41,370 --> 00:20:44,068
[cheering]

527
00:20:44,155 --> 00:20:46,897
- Nate!
[screams]

528
00:20:46,984 --> 00:20:49,422
- My mom was right.
Men never change.

529
00:20:49,509 --> 00:20:50,597
Bye-bye, Nolan.

530
00:20:50,684 --> 00:20:52,642
I'm taking
my eight-foot wingspan

531
00:20:52,729 --> 00:20:54,514
and my awe-inspiring
basketball skills

532
00:20:54,601 --> 00:20:56,559
to a school
where I'll be appreciated:

533
00:20:56,646 --> 00:20:57,908
PS 38.

534
00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:01,738
- You know what to do.

535
00:21:01,825 --> 00:21:04,741
[spy music]

536
00:21:04,828 --> 00:21:05,960
♪ ♪

537
00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:07,875
- Whoa, watch out, guys.

538
00:21:07,962 --> 00:21:10,965
Looks like Nolan
had a backup plan!

539
00:21:11,052 --> 00:21:14,316
- Let me at 'em!
Let me at 'em!

540
00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:17,537
- Charge!

541
00:21:17,624 --> 00:21:19,669
[yelling]

542
00:21:19,756 --> 00:21:22,716
- And so, what began as
a friendly competition

543
00:21:22,803 --> 00:21:25,066
escalated into something
far greater.

544
00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:27,155
- [whimpering]

545
00:21:27,242 --> 00:21:30,854
[panting]
[slow-motion] Oh!

546
00:21:30,941 --> 00:21:32,508
- Oh!

547
00:21:32,595 --> 00:21:34,858
- And while our heroes
were weaker, smaller,

548
00:21:34,945 --> 00:21:37,687
and, let's face it,
kind of pathetic...

549
00:21:37,774 --> 00:21:39,210
- [yelling]

550
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:41,169
- They had far better
senses of humor

551
00:21:41,256 --> 00:21:42,953
than those entitled
little brats at Jefferson.

552
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,520
- [laughing]

553
00:21:44,607 --> 00:21:46,914
- And certainly more heart.

554
00:21:47,001 --> 00:21:49,569
- That was awesome!
- Nate!

555
00:21:49,656 --> 00:21:52,963
You ruined everything!

556
00:21:53,050 --> 00:21:55,401
[rock music]

557
00:21:55,488 --> 00:21:57,403
[groans]

558
00:21:57,490 --> 00:21:59,187
[both scream]

559
00:21:59,274 --> 00:22:02,756
- Let's go get 'em!

560
00:22:02,843 --> 00:22:05,933
all: Potato rawr!

561
00:22:10,241 --> 00:22:13,157
[rock music]

562
00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:19,860
♪ ♪

563
00:22:30,261 --> 00:22:35,876
♪ ♪