1 00:00:03,770 --> 00:00:06,072 [person] Magazine has taken the publishing world by storm, 2 00:00:06,072 --> 00:00:08,641 selling out its second issue in a matter of days. 3 00:00:08,641 --> 00:00:10,543 But is it feminist? Is it pornography? 4 00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,045 Please welcome Joyce Prigger. 5 00:00:12,045 --> 00:00:14,647 [Joyce] What I'm trying to do is real, and it's hard, 6 00:00:14,647 --> 00:00:16,149 and there are no shortcuts. 7 00:00:16,149 --> 00:00:18,318 [Richie] I've never marched in someplace and just quit before. 8 00:00:18,318 --> 00:00:20,333 [Bambi] I have. There was bloodshed. 9 00:00:20,333 --> 00:00:21,755 Well, why don't we ask your new managing editor 10 00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:22,789 and see what she thinks? 11 00:00:22,789 --> 00:00:24,224 - Tins? - Doug. 12 00:00:24,224 --> 00:00:26,359 Look, I would've consulted with you, but, uh, you quit. 13 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,528 [Shelly] Things with Lenny have been a little off. 14 00:00:28,528 --> 00:00:30,463 You are on fire, and you have a secret. 15 00:00:30,463 --> 00:00:32,065 [Tina] I am applying to business school. 16 00:00:32,065 --> 00:00:33,700 [Doug] You want to throw away years of our relationship 17 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,701 over a couple of bad days? 18 00:00:34,701 --> 00:00:35,969 Do you really think Joyce 19 00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,771 has what it takes to do all this on her own? 20 00:00:37,771 --> 00:00:39,172 [person] Ban the Minx! 21 00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:40,907 [all chanting] Take the Minx! Take the Minx! 22 00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:42,509 - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - I'll tell you what. 23 00:00:43,910 --> 00:00:45,345 Minx is yours. 24 00:00:45,345 --> 00:00:48,248 Take it. I can't wait to see what you do. 25 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:52,385 [T. Rex's "Children of the Revolution" playing] 26 00:00:52,385 --> 00:00:56,356 [crowd chattering indistinctly] 27 00:00:56,356 --> 00:00:58,058 [singer] ♪ Yeah ♪ 28 00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:01,094 ♪ ♪ 29 00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:03,797 - [wild cheering] - [Joyce sighs contentedly] 30 00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:07,367 [singer] ♪ Well, you can bump And grind ♪ 31 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:09,469 [Joyce] Thank you. 32 00:01:09,469 --> 00:01:11,304 Hello! 33 00:01:11,304 --> 00:01:12,906 [singer] ♪ The children Of the revolution ♪ 34 00:01:12,906 --> 00:01:14,774 Oh, well... Oh, thank... 35 00:01:14,774 --> 00:01:16,042 [reporter] Joyce, Joyce, Joyce. 36 00:01:16,042 --> 00:01:17,310 Hey. 37 00:01:17,310 --> 00:01:19,212 You've had quite the ride, Miss Prigger. 38 00:01:19,212 --> 00:01:20,780 How do you make it look so easy? 39 00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:22,148 Well, the real question is, 40 00:01:22,148 --> 00:01:24,084 why do men make it look so hard? 41 00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,386 [laughs] 42 00:01:26,386 --> 00:01:28,421 ♪ ♪ 43 00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:31,004 Oh, hello. [chuckles] 44 00:01:31,004 --> 00:01:32,826 [singer] ♪ No, you won't... ♪ 45 00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:34,227 [train horn blaring] 46 00:01:35,528 --> 00:01:37,897 [breathing heavily] 47 00:01:37,897 --> 00:01:40,500 [Tina] Calling out her name again. 48 00:01:40,500 --> 00:01:43,103 [Doug] Oh, it wasn't a sex dream--don't worry. 49 00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:46,005 - [Tina] I'd prefer if it was. - [chuckles] 50 00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,677 [sighs] 51 00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,712 [lighter clicks] 52 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,621 [Sanford Clark's "Climbin' the Walls" playing] 53 00:02:01,621 --> 00:02:03,056 [sighs] 54 00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:06,092 ♪ ♪ 55 00:02:06,092 --> 00:02:10,396 [singer] ♪ And I keep Climbin' the walls ♪ 56 00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:12,098 ♪ That's certain ♪ 57 00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:15,668 ♪ To push out All the hurtin' ♪ 58 00:02:15,668 --> 00:02:19,873 ♪ I know now That I'm the one to blame ♪ 59 00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:23,109 ♪ ♪ 60 00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:27,413 [Hearst exec] Joan of Arc, Susan B. Anthony, 61 00:02:27,413 --> 00:02:30,783 Jackie O., Joyce Prigger-- 62 00:02:30,783 --> 00:02:32,485 icons one and all. 63 00:02:32,485 --> 00:02:34,687 Now, that's a tea party I'd attend. 64 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:36,222 [laughter] 65 00:02:36,222 --> 00:02:41,060 Betsy Ross, Amelia Earhart... 66 00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:44,497 Jackie O., Joyce Prigger-- 67 00:02:44,497 --> 00:02:46,132 game changers one and all. 68 00:02:46,132 --> 00:02:48,601 - Sign me up for that tea party. - [laughter] 69 00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:50,737 Sojourner Truth, 70 00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,906 Madame Marie Curie, 71 00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:55,642 - Jackie O. - Pioneers, one and all. 72 00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:56,843 We're already on the same page. 73 00:02:56,843 --> 00:02:59,546 - [laughter] - Not my first tea party. 74 00:02:59,546 --> 00:03:01,181 Are you ready to be the latest jewel 75 00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:02,815 in the Condé Nast crown? 76 00:03:02,815 --> 00:03:04,584 [Meredith exec] No one is better suited than Meredith 77 00:03:04,584 --> 00:03:08,488 to make Minx the first name in smart, sophisticated... 78 00:03:08,488 --> 00:03:11,691 And sexy female-oriented lifestyle publications. 79 00:03:11,691 --> 00:03:15,094 An iconic editor needs an iconic publisher-- 80 00:03:15,094 --> 00:03:16,296 Hearst. 81 00:03:16,296 --> 00:03:18,131 - TaB? - TaB? 82 00:03:18,131 --> 00:03:19,766 - TaB? - Thank you. 83 00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:20,967 How would you like a key 84 00:03:20,967 --> 00:03:22,569 to the Condé Nast fashion closet? 85 00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:24,671 Company car and driver? 86 00:03:24,671 --> 00:03:26,906 Box seats to the Met and the Mets? 87 00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:28,174 Well, maybe just the first one. 88 00:03:28,174 --> 00:03:29,776 [laughter] 89 00:03:29,776 --> 00:03:31,945 And for when you need to take your meetings on the go... 90 00:03:33,446 --> 00:03:34,647 portable telephone. 91 00:03:35,882 --> 00:03:37,951 Shelly, I'm calling you from a suitcase. 92 00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,485 [laughs] 93 00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:43,523 Best-selling new magazine in America. 94 00:03:43,523 --> 00:03:46,426 Two-year wait just to advertise. 95 00:03:46,426 --> 00:03:48,294 I mean, if you ask me, any bank would be crazy 96 00:03:48,294 --> 00:03:49,729 - not to loan money-- - [Wayne] Not to loan money 97 00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,064 to the man who owns the rights to that, yeah. 98 00:03:51,064 --> 00:03:52,498 [Doug] Well, it's not about the magazine. 99 00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:53,967 It's about the man who launched the magazine, 100 00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:56,536 found the diamond in the rough, right? 101 00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:57,904 That's what Doug Renetti does. 102 00:03:57,904 --> 00:03:59,339 [Wayne] Says here what Doug Renetti does 103 00:03:59,339 --> 00:04:00,840 is mount up towering debt 104 00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:02,542 against the promise of future receipts. 105 00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:04,143 That's publishing, my friend. 106 00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:06,112 You've overextended yourself like a madman. 107 00:04:06,112 --> 00:04:07,981 Again, that's publishing. That's the game. 108 00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:11,651 So maybe not a good business for us to get into. 109 00:04:11,651 --> 00:04:13,786 I'm gonna get back in the black, I promise you that. 110 00:04:13,786 --> 00:04:15,355 Have you ever heard of running? 111 00:04:15,355 --> 00:04:17,523 It's a new fitness trend, and I got a magazine for it. 112 00:04:17,523 --> 00:04:19,158 It's about to explode. 113 00:04:19,158 --> 00:04:20,693 You want to know what it's called? 114 00:04:20,693 --> 00:04:21,794 Joggin'. 115 00:04:21,794 --> 00:04:23,529 [chuckles] No G, just Joggin'. 116 00:04:23,529 --> 00:04:26,432 Hey, scratch that one. I got a million ideas. 117 00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:27,734 [sighs] 118 00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:32,038 [Cortijo y Kako y sus Tambores' "Juan José" playing] 119 00:04:32,038 --> 00:04:35,642 [people singing in Spanish] 120 00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:37,543 [Richie] Mm. Knead it, papi. 121 00:04:37,543 --> 00:04:39,178 [Bambi] Maybe we should ask Arturo 122 00:04:39,178 --> 00:04:40,847 if he wants to model, see what happens. 123 00:04:40,847 --> 00:04:42,715 No. He's super religious. Our families are close. 124 00:04:42,715 --> 00:04:45,385 Oh. It's a good centerfold idea, though-- 125 00:04:45,385 --> 00:04:46,653 working-class heroes, 126 00:04:46,653 --> 00:04:49,656 sweaty men doing honest labor naked. 127 00:04:49,656 --> 00:04:51,391 Oh, maybe not in food prep, though. 128 00:04:51,391 --> 00:04:52,492 You keep pitching ideas 129 00:04:52,492 --> 00:04:53,926 for a magazine that doesn't exist. 130 00:04:53,926 --> 00:04:55,128 [Bambi] Joyce will find a publisher. 131 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,562 She's picking a dad for us. 132 00:04:56,562 --> 00:04:58,131 This is not something you have to rush. 133 00:04:58,131 --> 00:05:00,933 [speaking Spanish] 134 00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,573 [speaking Spanish] 135 00:05:09,242 --> 00:05:10,710 [both laugh] 136 00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:17,684 [Bambi speaking Spanish] 137 00:05:17,684 --> 00:05:19,552 Oh, very sweet, but you I have to pay. 138 00:05:19,552 --> 00:05:20,887 Oh. 139 00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,555 [door opens] 140 00:05:22,555 --> 00:05:24,324 Ooh. 141 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:25,558 [Richie] Tell me you made a decision. 142 00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:27,106 Baker's hours are killing me. 143 00:05:27,106 --> 00:05:28,661 There should only be one three o'clock. 144 00:05:28,661 --> 00:05:30,730 I'm sorry, but this is very hard. 145 00:05:30,730 --> 00:05:33,099 Everyone's just so nice and agreeable. 146 00:05:33,099 --> 00:05:34,667 [Richie] And? 147 00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:36,936 And I am not used to the world saying yes to me, are you? 148 00:05:36,936 --> 00:05:39,105 I'm guessing you get a lot more yeses, Joyce. 149 00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:40,573 [Bambi] Would it help if I chose? 150 00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:41,641 It wouldn't be the first time 151 00:05:41,641 --> 00:05:42,975 I found a stepdad on short notice. 152 00:05:42,975 --> 00:05:44,344 Uh, thank you, no. 153 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,579 Uh, I just need a teeny little bit more time. 154 00:05:46,579 --> 00:05:47,980 And how long is that gonna take? 155 00:05:47,980 --> 00:05:49,449 I'm sorry, Joyce, but I'm broke. 156 00:05:49,449 --> 00:05:50,817 And I have to take a second job. 157 00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,152 - Isn't this your second job? - [Richie] No, because... 158 00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:55,688 Uh, well, what's the job? 159 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:57,657 Some crazy rich lady tracked me down, 160 00:05:57,657 --> 00:06:00,673 offered me a lot of money to take boudoir shots for her. 161 00:06:00,673 --> 00:06:02,261 She wants the Minx touch. 162 00:06:02,261 --> 00:06:04,097 What--Richie, no. That's beneath you. 163 00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,332 I'm wearing an apron, ogling my godson. 164 00:06:06,332 --> 00:06:07,500 Don't tell me what's beneath me. 165 00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,768 [Bambi] Who's the crazy rich lady? 166 00:06:08,768 --> 00:06:10,803 She's the money I need. 167 00:06:10,803 --> 00:06:15,441 And it'll buy you time to make a very easy decision. 168 00:06:15,441 --> 00:06:16,876 You two should come help. 169 00:06:16,876 --> 00:06:18,277 - Fun! - Pass. 170 00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:20,046 - [Richie] Snob. - [in Spanish dialect] Gracias. 171 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,315 Gracias. This ain't Spain. 172 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:25,118 - [camera shutter snaps] - [Chuck] Work the lats, hon. 173 00:06:25,118 --> 00:06:28,154 Hold that flame up like you burning heaven itself. 174 00:06:28,154 --> 00:06:29,322 [camera shutter snaps] 175 00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:33,025 I'm not smiling. Liberty's a serious bitch. 176 00:06:33,025 --> 00:06:35,928 [Doug] Chucky, come on, man, how long you known me? 177 00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:37,196 [Chuck] Oh, yeah. 178 00:06:37,196 --> 00:06:38,631 [Doug] So you know I'm good for the money 179 00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:39,899 that you front me, plus the vig. 180 00:06:39,899 --> 00:06:41,300 And I'm gonna give you a nice chunk 181 00:06:41,300 --> 00:06:43,336 of profit participation to boot on this one, okay? 182 00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:46,172 -"Profit participation"? - Yeah. 183 00:06:46,172 --> 00:06:47,940 Well, I didn't know how deep the hole was. 184 00:06:47,940 --> 00:06:50,109 Well, I probably shouldn't have let my insurance lapse. 185 00:06:50,109 --> 00:06:52,245 That's on me, but we got to stick together. 186 00:06:52,245 --> 00:06:54,747 We got to help each other like we always have. 187 00:06:54,747 --> 00:06:56,249 Hey, hon, don't mess with that. 188 00:06:56,249 --> 00:07:00,052 Slim, get-get Liberty's tits properly fortified. 189 00:07:00,052 --> 00:07:02,422 Chuck, can you please talk to me for a second on this? 190 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,891 Okay. Times have changed, Dougie. 191 00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:06,726 You traded in your real friends 192 00:07:06,726 --> 00:07:09,061 for that pish-posh ladies' magazine, 193 00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:10,863 bringing all kinds of heat on us. 194 00:07:10,863 --> 00:07:13,065 And you know why you're here with your hand out? 195 00:07:13,065 --> 00:07:15,101 - [Doug] Why? - You got fancy. 196 00:07:15,101 --> 00:07:17,637 - I didn't get fancy. - You did, Doug. You did. 197 00:07:17,637 --> 00:07:19,539 - [Doug] I didn't get fancy. - You got fancy, Doug. 198 00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:21,441 You was chitchatting with Dick Cavett, 199 00:07:21,441 --> 00:07:25,344 and then, oops, there goes the RSVP to my Christmas party. 200 00:07:25,344 --> 00:07:27,380 Lydia is bereft. 201 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,916 You were the best goddamn Santa we ever had. 202 00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:32,318 Now we got Mikey Two-Fingers in the suit. 203 00:07:32,318 --> 00:07:33,653 Mikey's Santa? 204 00:07:33,653 --> 00:07:35,855 He pinches asses, not cheeks. 205 00:07:35,855 --> 00:07:37,957 Yeah. That's on you. 206 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,792 That's on me? Not Mikey Deuce? 207 00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:42,595 Hey, we all know who Mikey is. 208 00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:44,297 You've changed. 209 00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,933 [rock music plays] 210 00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,135 - Great to see you, Chuck. - Mm-hmm. 211 00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:50,303 Mitzi. 212 00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:51,604 Tell Bambi we miss her at mah-jongg. 213 00:07:51,604 --> 00:07:52,905 Okay. 214 00:07:52,905 --> 00:07:56,008 [Melanie's "Brand New Key" playing] 215 00:07:56,008 --> 00:08:00,546 [Melanie] ♪ I rode my bicycle Past your window last night ♪ 216 00:08:00,546 --> 00:08:02,114 ♪ ♪ 217 00:08:02,114 --> 00:08:07,119 ♪ I roller-skated To your door at daylight ♪ 218 00:08:07,119 --> 00:08:11,123 ♪ It almost seems Like you're avoiding-- ♪ 219 00:08:11,123 --> 00:08:12,859 [Richie] It's not like Bambi to flake. 220 00:08:12,859 --> 00:08:14,327 She doesn't have a permanent address. 221 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,709 Sure, but once she commits to something, she shows up, 222 00:08:16,709 --> 00:08:18,164 especially if there's a shower. 223 00:08:18,164 --> 00:08:19,499 Anyway, thanks for filling in. 224 00:08:19,499 --> 00:08:21,948 - [Joyce] Mm-hmm. - [bird crying] 225 00:08:21,948 --> 00:08:23,870 [sighs] 226 00:08:23,870 --> 00:08:26,105 My curiosity is piqued. 227 00:08:26,105 --> 00:08:27,573 [door opens] 228 00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:31,491 Welcome to Peregrine's Reach. 229 00:08:31,491 --> 00:08:32,578 [Richie] Oh. 230 00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:34,046 [Melanie] ♪ Well, I got ♪ 231 00:08:34,046 --> 00:08:36,095 ♪ A brand-new pair Of roller-skates ♪ 232 00:08:36,095 --> 00:08:38,951 ♪ You got a brand-new key ♪ 233 00:08:38,951 --> 00:08:41,487 ♪ I think That we should get together ♪ 234 00:08:41,487 --> 00:08:44,590 ♪ And try them out, you see ♪ 235 00:08:44,590 --> 00:08:46,058 ♪ La, la, la, la, la ♪ 236 00:08:46,058 --> 00:08:47,560 ♪ La, la, la ♪ 237 00:08:47,560 --> 00:08:49,462 ♪ La, la, la, la, la, la ♪ 238 00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:51,397 ♪ Oh, I got a brand-new... ♪ 239 00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:53,332 [doorbell rings] 240 00:08:53,332 --> 00:08:55,735 - ♪ You got a brand-new key ♪ - Hmm. 241 00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:00,172 Hey. Hi. 242 00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:02,208 Um, I know I'm not supposed to be here, 243 00:09:02,208 --> 00:09:03,709 and I know you wanted your space, 244 00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:04,977 and I respect that, 245 00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:06,679 but your sister is driving me and Richie crazy. 246 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:07,860 - [scoffs] - [Bambi] So I'm trying 247 00:09:07,860 --> 00:09:09,015 to put on a brave face, 248 00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,349 but my jaw is starting to clench, 249 00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:11,851 and I'm grinding my teeth at night, 250 00:09:11,851 --> 00:09:13,286 and you're the best at advice, so-- 251 00:09:13,286 --> 00:09:14,687 It's fine. Okay? 252 00:09:14,687 --> 00:09:16,455 - It's-it's-it's-it's fine. - I don't even know 253 00:09:16,455 --> 00:09:17,990 if you and Joyce are talking right now. 254 00:09:17,990 --> 00:09:19,372 Oh, she--yeah, we're good. 255 00:09:19,372 --> 00:09:22,128 She called me the other day from a suitcase. 256 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,263 Um... yeah, come in. 257 00:09:24,263 --> 00:09:25,545 I'll make you a cup of tea. 258 00:09:25,545 --> 00:09:27,133 - Oh. - [Shelly] Yeah. 259 00:09:27,133 --> 00:09:28,434 - Thanks. - Yeah. 260 00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:30,269 Oh, by the way, Lenny and I are great. 261 00:09:30,269 --> 00:09:32,885 Yeah, we're tearing through the Kama Sutra. 262 00:09:32,885 --> 00:09:34,507 That makes me so happy. 263 00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:37,910 Make sure he stretches really well before Wheelbarrow. 264 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:39,912 Gene Hackman's lumbar has never recovered. 265 00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:41,160 Oh, no. 266 00:09:41,160 --> 00:09:42,782 - [Phil] Thank you, Doug. - [Doug] Yeah. 267 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,250 [Phil] I hope this isn't goodbye forever. 268 00:09:44,250 --> 00:09:45,751 [Doug] Bad Girl High is on summer break. 269 00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,086 Fall semester's right around the corner. 270 00:09:47,086 --> 00:09:48,321 - Guaranteed. - [both chuckle] 271 00:09:48,321 --> 00:09:49,655 - Good to see you. - [Phil] Thank you, Doug. 272 00:09:49,655 --> 00:09:51,157 Thank you. 273 00:09:52,758 --> 00:09:54,894 You know the checking account is bone-dry, right? 274 00:09:54,894 --> 00:09:56,662 I do. He doesn't. 275 00:09:56,662 --> 00:09:59,398 He's gonna come back, probably with his nunchucks. 276 00:09:59,398 --> 00:10:00,900 I can't worry about what's gonna happen 277 00:10:00,900 --> 00:10:02,268 in five to seven business days 278 00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:04,670 when that check doesn't clear, Tins. 279 00:10:04,670 --> 00:10:07,640 I got to worry about today and possibly tomorrow. 280 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,508 Okay, well, today, we can't afford to print 281 00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:10,977 any of the magazines that are ready to go. 282 00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:12,345 And tomorrow we can't afford 283 00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,180 to distribute any of the ones already printed. 284 00:10:14,180 --> 00:10:15,314 Great. 285 00:10:15,314 --> 00:10:16,949 How'd it go with Chuck? 286 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:18,317 Good. 287 00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:20,586 He lost 20 pounds. He's on a grapefruit diet. 288 00:10:20,586 --> 00:10:22,588 - And? - And he looked better plump. 289 00:10:22,588 --> 00:10:24,790 - You can say you're scared. - [Doug] Well, I'm not scared. 290 00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:26,606 You and me, backs against the wall, 291 00:10:26,606 --> 00:10:30,162 us against the world-- there's no place I'd rather be. 292 00:10:30,162 --> 00:10:31,597 [chuckles] 293 00:10:31,597 --> 00:10:34,580 [Bubbha Thomas The Lightmen's "Survival Song" playing] 294 00:10:34,580 --> 00:10:37,603 ♪ ♪ 295 00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:47,059 Thank you. 296 00:10:48,961 --> 00:10:53,152 Mrs. Papadopoulos will be with you shortly. 297 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,820 Did he say Papadopoulos? 298 00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,722 [Richie] Yeah. Fun name, right? 299 00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:00,960 Wait. Constance Papadopoulos? 300 00:11:00,960 --> 00:11:01,961 Yes. 301 00:11:04,597 --> 00:11:05,564 You okay? 302 00:11:05,564 --> 00:11:06,899 Oh, my God. 303 00:11:06,899 --> 00:11:09,135 She's only the first woman to ever hold a seat 304 00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:10,803 on the New York Stock Exchange. 305 00:11:10,803 --> 00:11:13,472 And she's the world's first female CEO 306 00:11:13,472 --> 00:11:16,175 of a company that she took over from her ailing husband. 307 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:19,111 And she turned it into this empire, 308 00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:21,414 only to be forced out by this ruthless board 309 00:11:21,414 --> 00:11:23,082 upon his untimely death. 310 00:11:23,082 --> 00:11:25,484 - That sounds made up. - No, no, no. It's all true. 311 00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:27,153 We did this whole semester on her 312 00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:29,021 in Unsung Heroines of Capitalism. 313 00:11:29,021 --> 00:11:31,090 [chuckles] College is such bullshit. 314 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:33,926 [sighs] I would die to interview her. 315 00:11:33,926 --> 00:11:37,063 Well, don't plan on dying anytime soon. 316 00:11:37,063 --> 00:11:40,032 You're here to take pictures, that's it. 317 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,233 Follow me. 318 00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:46,138 I hope Ferdinand and Isabella weren't too much of a bother. 319 00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:48,607 [Richie] No, they're very obedient. 320 00:11:48,607 --> 00:11:50,142 Afghans are the stubborn breed-- 321 00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:52,778 nearly impossible to train them, and yet... 322 00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:55,347 [Joyce] I-I can tell they're big sweeties. 323 00:11:55,347 --> 00:11:58,284 Look at you, you big, bad Spanish monarchs. 324 00:11:58,284 --> 00:12:00,166 Are you gonna pillage the New World? 325 00:12:00,166 --> 00:12:01,821 Don't use that word. 326 00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:03,889 Triggers the kill instinct. 327 00:12:03,889 --> 00:12:06,225 [opera music plays softly] 328 00:12:06,225 --> 00:12:08,894 Which word? 329 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:11,163 [Constance] Carole Doheny and I were taking 330 00:12:11,163 --> 00:12:14,934 a life drawing class, and Esteban was our model. 331 00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:17,369 I just had to have him. 332 00:12:17,369 --> 00:12:19,905 - Look at that man. - I'm looking. 333 00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,308 I mean, I don't think the charcoal could do him justice. 334 00:12:22,308 --> 00:12:23,676 - Mm-mm. - No, no. 335 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:25,478 We need to get this on film. 336 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,980 We need to do it right, forever. 337 00:12:29,715 --> 00:12:32,852 It's so inspiring to see a woman owning her sexuality. 338 00:12:32,852 --> 00:12:34,620 You know? 339 00:12:37,523 --> 00:12:40,493 Um, is this Reflections of Desire? 340 00:12:40,493 --> 00:12:41,694 It's a version. 341 00:12:41,694 --> 00:12:43,329 That's our next centerfold concept. 342 00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,663 You can't use that. 343 00:12:44,663 --> 00:12:47,700 Uh, dicks in mirrors was my idea. 344 00:12:47,700 --> 00:12:49,068 - I'm using it. - Richie... 345 00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:51,537 See what happens when you don't pick a publisher? 346 00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:53,339 [Constance] So how much of me are you gonna catch 347 00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:54,473 in the mirrors? 348 00:12:54,473 --> 00:12:55,875 [Richie] As much or as little as you want. 349 00:12:55,875 --> 00:12:57,343 It'll mostly be Esteban, 350 00:12:57,343 --> 00:12:59,545 but, uh, we're gonna pick up bits and pieces of your robe 351 00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:01,313 to feel your presence. 352 00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:02,681 I love it. 353 00:13:02,681 --> 00:13:04,750 Yeah, I loved it, too. 354 00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:07,086 Oh, I'm sorry, are you gonna be a problem? 355 00:13:07,086 --> 00:13:10,289 Me? No, no. I'm sorry. No, I'm just, um... 356 00:13:10,289 --> 00:13:13,159 I'm just--I'm a little flustered, to be honest, 357 00:13:13,159 --> 00:13:15,461 because I didn't know that this shoot was for you. 358 00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:17,109 And just, God, meeting you-- 359 00:13:17,109 --> 00:13:19,779 you're such a hero to so many women. 360 00:13:19,779 --> 00:13:21,934 And... 361 00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:24,837 I just--did they really try to poison you in Cyprus? 362 00:13:24,837 --> 00:13:27,673 That was a long, long time ago... 363 00:13:27,673 --> 00:13:29,375 in Crete. 364 00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,076 - Hey, Joyce? - Yeah. 365 00:13:31,076 --> 00:13:33,546 Can you get out the 85? I'm gonna start with that. 366 00:13:33,546 --> 00:13:35,181 - Yeah. - Thank you. 367 00:13:35,181 --> 00:13:37,416 Esteban, feel free to get up and disrobe. 368 00:13:37,416 --> 00:13:39,852 Get into position whenever you're ready. 369 00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,487 No, Constance, you stay right there. 370 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:43,856 - Perfect. - [Joyce] Um... 371 00:13:43,856 --> 00:13:46,192 is the 85, uh, one of these lenses, 372 00:13:46,192 --> 00:13:48,194 or is it one of these rolls of film? 373 00:13:48,194 --> 00:13:50,396 [Constance] Miss Prigger, if you're going to be a boss, 374 00:13:50,396 --> 00:13:52,565 you really should know how to do the job 375 00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:54,466 of all the people working for you. 376 00:13:56,702 --> 00:13:58,604 - You know who I am? - Well, of course I do. 377 00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:00,606 I told Ricardo that I'm a tremendous fan 378 00:14:00,606 --> 00:14:02,074 of your magazine. 379 00:14:02,074 --> 00:14:04,043 But you're here to help your photographer, 380 00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:05,377 so do that job, 381 00:14:05,377 --> 00:14:08,747 and do it with vigor and perspicacity. 382 00:14:08,747 --> 00:14:11,217 Yes. [chuckles] You are so wise. 383 00:14:11,217 --> 00:14:13,252 Thank you. I'm sorry. 384 00:14:13,252 --> 00:14:15,020 [clears throat] 385 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:16,822 [whispering] I'm so sorry-- I still don't know 386 00:14:16,822 --> 00:14:18,390 whether it's a lens or it's film. 387 00:14:18,390 --> 00:14:20,593 It's film. 388 00:14:20,593 --> 00:14:21,794 Thank you. 389 00:14:22,842 --> 00:14:24,230 [Shelly] I'm not surprised Joyce is having 390 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,098 a hard time with this decision. 391 00:14:26,098 --> 00:14:28,067 [Bambi] Yeah, but she said she wants the opposite of Doug, 392 00:14:28,067 --> 00:14:29,468 and they all are. 393 00:14:29,468 --> 00:14:31,737 [Shelly] Well, she's probably afraid of making 394 00:14:31,737 --> 00:14:33,839 an impulsive choice... 395 00:14:33,839 --> 00:14:36,976 you know, one that might feel right in-in the moment 396 00:14:36,976 --> 00:14:39,245 but, ah, uh, have long-lasting effects 397 00:14:39,245 --> 00:14:44,016 that could, I-I don't know, throw her life into turmoil. 398 00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:46,198 I guess I can understand that. 399 00:14:46,198 --> 00:14:49,255 Decisions are-are rational or emotional, right? 400 00:14:49,255 --> 00:14:52,324 Rational decisions, easy. You weigh pros and cons. 401 00:14:52,324 --> 00:14:54,727 But-but emotions, feelings, 402 00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:58,497 powerful feelings, um... 403 00:14:58,497 --> 00:15:01,166 impulses, uh... 404 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,636 I mean, that-that can be confusing 405 00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:06,338 and also paralyzing. 406 00:15:06,338 --> 00:15:07,706 Right. 407 00:15:07,706 --> 00:15:09,675 And in a sense, there-there's a safety 408 00:15:09,675 --> 00:15:14,079 in not making a choice, in-in-in not making a decision, 409 00:15:14,079 --> 00:15:17,683 because once you do, it can feel... 410 00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:19,285 irreversible. 411 00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:21,687 Like, saying something that you want 412 00:15:21,687 --> 00:15:25,557 can never happen again. 413 00:15:25,557 --> 00:15:29,895 Well, I think if Joyce is afraid 414 00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:32,932 of hurting one of the publisher's feelings, 415 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,400 she shouldn't worry about that. 416 00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:36,902 The publisher will understand. 417 00:15:38,537 --> 00:15:40,339 [sighs] 418 00:15:40,339 --> 00:15:41,407 Never? 419 00:15:43,108 --> 00:15:44,543 Never. 420 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:47,546 [Della Humphrey's "Your Love is All I Need" playing] 421 00:15:47,546 --> 00:15:50,649 ♪ ♪ 422 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,019 [sighs] 423 00:15:54,019 --> 00:15:55,854 [Della] ♪ You ♪ 424 00:15:55,854 --> 00:15:59,391 ♪ Can take away my mind ♪ 425 00:15:59,391 --> 00:16:00,859 Are you sure? 426 00:16:00,859 --> 00:16:03,762 [Della] ♪ So that I can't think ♪ 427 00:16:03,762 --> 00:16:06,412 Okay, not here. 428 00:16:06,412 --> 00:16:09,468 [horn honking] 429 00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:11,904 [Della] ♪ And replace it With heat ♪ 430 00:16:11,904 --> 00:16:14,073 [brakes squeaking] 431 00:16:14,073 --> 00:16:16,108 [truck backfiring] 432 00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,712 [Tina coughs] 433 00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:22,114 [Doug] Hey, Tins, check it out! 434 00:16:22,114 --> 00:16:23,983 The guy practically gave it to me! 435 00:16:23,983 --> 00:16:25,417 Where is your car? 436 00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:27,566 [Doug] Don't worry about that. I had to trade it in. 437 00:16:27,566 --> 00:16:29,221 But this one's even better. 438 00:16:29,221 --> 00:16:30,990 Now I got six wheels. [chuckles] 439 00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:32,391 [Tina] Jesus, is that blood? 440 00:16:32,391 --> 00:16:34,560 [Doug] Eh, bucket of soap, you'll wash it right off. 441 00:16:34,560 --> 00:16:35,661 But now I got a plan. 442 00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,529 We can deliver the magazines ourselves. 443 00:16:37,529 --> 00:16:38,530 I figured out a route. 444 00:16:38,530 --> 00:16:40,099 We go from California 445 00:16:40,099 --> 00:16:41,633 to, uh, Arizona to Utah. 446 00:16:41,633 --> 00:16:44,436 We could do it all in 39 hours if we take turns sleeping. 447 00:16:44,436 --> 00:16:45,971 I'm hearing a lot of "we"s. 448 00:16:45,971 --> 00:16:47,339 [Doug] Well, that's 'cause we're a team. 449 00:16:47,339 --> 00:16:50,142 You've driven a-a rig before, haven't you? 450 00:16:50,142 --> 00:16:51,710 Well, don't worry about it. I'll teach you. 451 00:16:51,710 --> 00:16:54,279 You'll be a pro by the time we get to Bakersfield. 452 00:16:54,279 --> 00:16:56,215 Doug... 453 00:16:56,215 --> 00:16:59,651 that time has passed for both of us. 454 00:16:59,651 --> 00:17:01,220 Sorry. 455 00:17:01,220 --> 00:17:02,788 Just call Joyce. 456 00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:05,157 Tell her you made a mistake, you want to work something out. 457 00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:07,092 That would make me look weak. 458 00:17:07,092 --> 00:17:09,261 As opposed to... 459 00:17:09,261 --> 00:17:11,263 Strong. 460 00:17:11,263 --> 00:17:13,065 [Benny Gordon's "Give a Damn" playing] 461 00:17:13,065 --> 00:17:15,134 [Benny] ♪ Uh ♪ 462 00:17:15,134 --> 00:17:17,503 ♪ We need to help somebody ♪ 463 00:17:17,503 --> 00:17:19,805 I feel like Constance and I got off on the wrong foot, 464 00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:22,241 but I think she really warmed to me by the end, 465 00:17:22,241 --> 00:17:25,377 so I'm gonna reapproach her about that interview. 466 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:26,712 What are you doing? 467 00:17:26,712 --> 00:17:28,213 Rhapsodizing? [chuckles] 468 00:17:28,213 --> 00:17:30,049 - You're distracting yourself. - By working on the magazine? 469 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,517 [Richie] If we were working on the magazine, 470 00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:34,053 we'd be on the 25th floor of a skyscraper downtown, 471 00:17:34,053 --> 00:17:36,221 not coated in masa in Boyle Heights. 472 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,724 Look, if any of them had Constance's perspicacity, 473 00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,326 a word so erudite I've never heard it in conversation... 474 00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:43,529 - Like "erudite." - ...then this would be easy. 475 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:45,397 Publishers aren't supposed to impress you 476 00:17:45,397 --> 00:17:46,865 with their vocabulary, Joyce. 477 00:17:46,865 --> 00:17:48,367 They impress you with money 478 00:17:48,367 --> 00:17:50,135 and access to printing presses. 479 00:17:50,135 --> 00:17:51,437 Yes, they all want us, 480 00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:54,440 but I just--I don't know if they get us, you know? 481 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:55,707 Everything we've been through. 482 00:17:55,707 --> 00:17:58,243 I mean, look around. We're scrappy. 483 00:17:58,243 --> 00:18:01,113 Bambi and I quit our jobs because we believe in you. 484 00:18:01,113 --> 00:18:03,182 Whatever choice you make is gonna be a good one 485 00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:07,119 because it means that you'll be leading us and Minx again. 486 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:10,589 You have great options. Choose one. 487 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:13,372 [doo-wop music playing] 488 00:18:13,372 --> 00:18:19,131 [singer] ♪ What makes me cry ♪ 489 00:18:19,131 --> 00:18:21,533 Come on, why are all the prizes gone? 490 00:18:21,533 --> 00:18:23,102 Oh, that's the first thing the kids do-- 491 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,370 rip open the top, grab the prize-- 492 00:18:25,370 --> 00:18:27,419 big source of conflict in the Lambert house. 493 00:18:27,419 --> 00:18:29,308 Oh, wait, I found one. 494 00:18:29,308 --> 00:18:31,543 - Can I keep it? - No, you may not, young lady. 495 00:18:31,543 --> 00:18:32,845 But it's comb, and I need a comb. 496 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:34,446 Oh, I'll buy you a comb. 497 00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:37,916 - [Lenny] Hey, honey, I'm home! - [door closes] 498 00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:39,585 You are not gonna believe what happened 499 00:18:39,585 --> 00:18:41,954 during Brent Johnstone's molar extraction. 500 00:18:41,954 --> 00:18:44,289 I mean, I-I knew he was a gusher, but, my God. 501 00:18:44,289 --> 00:18:45,757 Uh, back over there's where we keep 502 00:18:45,757 --> 00:18:47,159 - our dry goods, so... - [Bambi] Oh. 503 00:18:47,159 --> 00:18:49,661 Lenny! Hi. 504 00:18:49,661 --> 00:18:51,630 You're home early. 505 00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:54,933 Well, I got gushed on, so thought I would change. 506 00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,037 Oh, um, this is the, um... 507 00:19:00,739 --> 00:19:02,040 Bambi. 508 00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,876 Oh, the famous Bambi. 509 00:19:03,876 --> 00:19:06,445 - In the flesh. - [chuckles] 510 00:19:07,960 --> 00:19:09,648 She came to, um... 511 00:19:09,648 --> 00:19:11,783 over to, uh, borrow this bra. 512 00:19:11,783 --> 00:19:13,385 - Oh, yes. - Mm-hmm. 513 00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:16,555 I lost mine in a well. 514 00:19:16,555 --> 00:19:19,825 Well, that puts my molar story to shame. 515 00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,593 Um, do you want me to run upstairs and get you 516 00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,795 - a fresh, uh, shirt? - No. I got it. 517 00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:28,333 I do want to ask your friend Bambi a question, though. 518 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:30,602 Yeah. 519 00:19:30,602 --> 00:19:33,205 I'm just wondering... 520 00:19:33,205 --> 00:19:37,643 how did you take such sexy pictures of my wife? 521 00:19:37,643 --> 00:19:39,578 What, y-you're a model and a photographer? 522 00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:41,413 [both laugh] 523 00:19:41,413 --> 00:19:44,016 Well, yeah, it was easy. 524 00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,984 Look at her. She's gorgeous. 525 00:19:45,984 --> 00:19:47,252 Damn tootin'. 526 00:19:48,453 --> 00:19:50,122 Well, don't let me interrupt the tour. 527 00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:51,690 If you like that pantry, by the way, 528 00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:54,126 we got a linen closet that's gonna knock your socks off. 529 00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:56,195 I think it's the cedar. [chuckles] 530 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,664 - Nice meeting you. - [Lenny] Yep. 531 00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,499 [Bambi giggles] 532 00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:03,502 [funky music plays] 533 00:20:03,502 --> 00:20:06,505 ♪ ♪ 534 00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,808 [Richie] Are those for me? 535 00:20:09,808 --> 00:20:10,809 You should have. 536 00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:12,311 Not for you, for Joyce. 537 00:20:12,311 --> 00:20:13,779 [Richie] Well, you just missed her. 538 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:16,548 But if you want to grovel, I'll happily take the message. 539 00:20:16,548 --> 00:20:19,551 No groveling from me, just checking in on old friends. 540 00:20:19,551 --> 00:20:21,420 [Richie] Mm. 541 00:20:21,420 --> 00:20:24,423 You know, Bambi and I knew you'd be back. 542 00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:26,158 She thought you'd bring Chardonnay, 543 00:20:26,158 --> 00:20:28,827 but I know you're a sucker for supermarket flowers. 544 00:20:28,827 --> 00:20:30,762 Thank you. I just won $50. 545 00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:33,065 Well, from the looks of it, you could use the money. 546 00:20:33,065 --> 00:20:35,000 [both laugh] 547 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:37,102 Touché. 548 00:20:37,102 --> 00:20:40,572 You got a hell of an eye, kid. 549 00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:42,608 But you're making a mistake here. 550 00:20:42,608 --> 00:20:44,343 - Senior porn? - [Richie] Oh, come on. 551 00:20:44,343 --> 00:20:46,545 [Doug] You should warn Joyce. We went down this road. 552 00:20:46,545 --> 00:20:47,779 You remember Silver Sluts? 553 00:20:47,779 --> 00:20:49,348 Mm. And Oldies but Goodies? [scoffs] 554 00:20:49,348 --> 00:20:51,183 Yeah, people don't want to see gray bush. 555 00:20:51,183 --> 00:20:52,884 I don't know why. There's no money in it. 556 00:20:52,884 --> 00:20:55,153 You know what, Doug? I have fans now. 557 00:20:55,153 --> 00:20:57,155 Yeah, and they're incredibly wealthy. 558 00:20:57,155 --> 00:20:58,790 And they live in castles, 559 00:20:58,790 --> 00:21:00,659 and they hire me to shoot their playthings. 560 00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:02,327 Good for you. I'm so happy for you. 561 00:21:02,327 --> 00:21:04,363 You're such a winner. 562 00:21:04,363 --> 00:21:07,332 ♪ ♪ 563 00:21:07,332 --> 00:21:08,900 - How wealthy? - [bell dings] 564 00:21:08,900 --> 00:21:11,903 ♪ ♪ 565 00:21:13,238 --> 00:21:16,141 I don't want to go to Dad's stupid thing tonight. 566 00:21:16,141 --> 00:21:17,876 The Kiwanis are hardly stupid. 567 00:21:17,876 --> 00:21:19,177 You're talking about one 568 00:21:19,177 --> 00:21:21,480 of America's foremost service organizations, 569 00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,815 who just so happen to be honoring your father, 570 00:21:23,815 --> 00:21:25,183 which is a big deal. 571 00:21:25,183 --> 00:21:27,019 - Stupid big deal. - Oh, my God. 572 00:21:27,019 --> 00:21:28,353 [Lenny] What did I do to deserve 573 00:21:28,353 --> 00:21:29,755 such a rousing defense? 574 00:21:29,755 --> 00:21:31,423 Your children don't seem to value 575 00:21:31,423 --> 00:21:32,858 all you do for this family. 576 00:21:32,858 --> 00:21:34,826 [Lenny] You know, I was, uh... 577 00:21:34,826 --> 00:21:37,462 thinking about you and Bambi, 578 00:21:37,462 --> 00:21:39,798 seeing you two together like that. 579 00:21:39,798 --> 00:21:41,967 Like what? 580 00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:45,103 I don't know. Smiley? Excited? 581 00:21:45,103 --> 00:21:48,040 I mean, you-you were so happy when you were working with her. 582 00:21:48,040 --> 00:21:49,808 So maybe you should go back to Minx. 583 00:21:49,808 --> 00:21:52,377 N-no, it's, um... I mean, there is-- 584 00:21:52,377 --> 00:21:53,845 there is no Minx. 585 00:21:53,845 --> 00:21:55,747 Joyce is, like, all over the place. 586 00:21:55,747 --> 00:21:57,649 Well, some other job, then. 587 00:21:57,649 --> 00:21:59,251 I mean, look, I know that you like 588 00:21:59,251 --> 00:22:01,687 getting up to trouble outside of the house, so... 589 00:22:01,687 --> 00:22:03,689 just an idea. 590 00:22:03,689 --> 00:22:04,923 Love you. 591 00:22:04,923 --> 00:22:06,892 - Love you, too. - [cereal rattles in bowl] 592 00:22:08,460 --> 00:22:10,862 - [Tommy] That's an odd prize. - Oh, God. 593 00:22:10,862 --> 00:22:13,031 [rock music plays] 594 00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:14,833 Thank you. 595 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:16,735 Oh, my God. 596 00:22:17,636 --> 00:22:19,438 [Condé Nast exec] I assure you, Miss Prigger... 597 00:22:19,438 --> 00:22:22,774 - [gasps] Ms. - Right, Ms. 598 00:22:22,774 --> 00:22:24,976 That mean married or not married? 599 00:22:24,976 --> 00:22:26,511 I means the same thing as "Mr." 600 00:22:26,511 --> 00:22:27,946 Well said. 601 00:22:27,946 --> 00:22:30,349 Pay attention, boys. Words matter. 602 00:22:30,349 --> 00:22:32,751 You are gonna get on great with the gals down at Vogue. 603 00:22:32,751 --> 00:22:35,654 - Mm. - They love correcting us. 604 00:22:35,654 --> 00:22:37,222 Shall we get down to the business 605 00:22:37,222 --> 00:22:39,791 of making Minx part of the Condé Nast family? 606 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,800 [knocking at window] 607 00:22:49,601 --> 00:22:51,737 [muffled] Can I speak with you for a sec? 608 00:22:58,310 --> 00:23:02,080 I'm so sorry. Just give me one second. 609 00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,482 I'll be right back. 610 00:23:03,482 --> 00:23:04,716 What are you doing here? 611 00:23:04,716 --> 00:23:06,284 [Doug] You don't want to do this. 612 00:23:06,284 --> 00:23:08,186 If you did, you would have signed weeks ago. 613 00:23:08,186 --> 00:23:09,621 What? No. I've been negotiating. 614 00:23:09,621 --> 00:23:11,289 Stop lying to me. I saw that smile-- 615 00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:13,358 the fake one you gave them and the real one you gave me. 616 00:23:13,358 --> 00:23:15,360 [laughs] I did no such thing. 617 00:23:15,360 --> 00:23:17,295 [Doug] Yes, you did. 618 00:23:17,295 --> 00:23:19,998 Those dinosaurs will never get you, Joyce. 619 00:23:19,998 --> 00:23:22,768 You're better than them. Y-you need a publisher-- 620 00:23:22,768 --> 00:23:26,104 No, Doug, come on, look, we--we-we tried, 621 00:23:26,104 --> 00:23:27,506 and-and it didn't work. 622 00:23:27,506 --> 00:23:29,841 Constance Papadopoulos. 623 00:23:29,841 --> 00:23:31,176 Yeah, what about her? 624 00:23:31,176 --> 00:23:33,145 I pitched her on investing in Bottom Dollar, 625 00:23:33,145 --> 00:23:35,714 uh, and she said no, she wasn't interested... 626 00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:37,482 [Joyce chuckles] Yeah, 'cause she's smart. 627 00:23:37,482 --> 00:23:39,718 ...without Minx. 628 00:23:39,718 --> 00:23:41,153 Come on, think. 629 00:23:41,153 --> 00:23:43,488 She's your perfect, perfect publisher. 630 00:23:43,488 --> 00:23:46,992 Doug, Constance publishing Minx is... 631 00:23:49,161 --> 00:23:51,329 - ...a really good idea. - Yeah, it's a good idea. 632 00:23:51,329 --> 00:23:54,032 God damn it, I was right there with her, in her house. 633 00:23:54,032 --> 00:23:55,233 Why didn't I think of that? 634 00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:57,202 You don't have to. That's why you got me. 635 00:23:57,202 --> 00:23:59,604 No, look, she's-she's retired from shipping. 636 00:23:59,604 --> 00:24:01,706 She--no, she has zero publishing experience. 637 00:24:01,706 --> 00:24:03,375 Good, all I hear is deep pockets 638 00:24:03,375 --> 00:24:05,410 with no big ideas on how to run a magazine. 639 00:24:05,410 --> 00:24:07,078 What she doesn't know, we could teach her. 640 00:24:07,078 --> 00:24:09,181 -"We"? - Yeah, we. 641 00:24:09,181 --> 00:24:12,150 The meeting's all set. She's primed. 642 00:24:12,150 --> 00:24:14,319 I just need one hour of your time. 643 00:24:14,319 --> 00:24:17,289 [Morrison Kincannon's "Destination" playing] 644 00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:20,325 ♪ ♪ 645 00:24:22,093 --> 00:24:23,662 [Morrison] ♪ Well, you work All your life ♪ 646 00:24:23,662 --> 00:24:25,297 ♪ To make your bread ♪ 647 00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:27,132 ♪ But before you lived You're gonna be dead ♪ 648 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,434 ♪ So listen to the little man Talkin' in your head... ♪ 649 00:24:29,434 --> 00:24:32,437 Hey, Mikey Two. 650 00:24:32,437 --> 00:24:34,172 I knew you'd come through. Thank you, baby. 651 00:24:34,172 --> 00:24:35,307 Nice to hear from you, Dougie. 652 00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:36,575 - [dog whines] - Hey, you know I got 653 00:24:36,575 --> 00:24:38,009 the what-what whenever you in need, right? 654 00:24:38,009 --> 00:24:39,377 Yeah, I do, I do. 655 00:24:39,377 --> 00:24:40,812 And don't get comfy in that Santa suit. 656 00:24:40,812 --> 00:24:42,047 I'm coming for it. 657 00:24:42,047 --> 00:24:43,682 - [Mikey] Hey, dry food only. - [Doug] Okay. 658 00:24:43,682 --> 00:24:45,217 [Joyce] There's no meeting. 659 00:24:45,217 --> 00:24:47,452 Well, she said she was excited to continue our conversation. 660 00:24:47,452 --> 00:24:49,421 She just didn't know how soon it would be. 661 00:24:49,421 --> 00:24:51,089 Good. 662 00:24:51,089 --> 00:24:53,391 Look at me. I'm a natural with this dog. 663 00:24:53,391 --> 00:24:56,361 ♪ ♪ 664 00:24:56,361 --> 00:24:59,097 [indistinct chatter] 665 00:24:59,097 --> 00:25:00,765 How do you even know she's here? 666 00:25:00,765 --> 00:25:02,447 Well, I went to her castle, I drank her tea, 667 00:25:02,447 --> 00:25:04,402 we talked dogs, which we have in common. 668 00:25:04,402 --> 00:25:08,006 This is Abracadabra, by the way, and she... 669 00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,574 Oh, he... [chuckles] 670 00:25:09,574 --> 00:25:11,743 - ...is my longtime companion. - You are unbelievable. 671 00:25:11,743 --> 00:25:13,378 Aw, thanks. I feel pretty good about this. 672 00:25:13,378 --> 00:25:14,913 No, it was not a compliment. 673 00:25:14,913 --> 00:25:17,182 Doug, you think you can just BS your way through life. 674 00:25:17,182 --> 00:25:18,650 Everything's always gonna work out. 675 00:25:18,650 --> 00:25:21,286 [Doug] Well, not everything, but hopefully this, right? 676 00:25:21,286 --> 00:25:23,288 [Joyce] It's not how I want to connect with my heroes. 677 00:25:23,288 --> 00:25:24,823 [dogs barking] 678 00:25:24,823 --> 00:25:27,225 Constance! Hey! 679 00:25:27,225 --> 00:25:29,861 Mr. Renetti. Joyce. 680 00:25:29,861 --> 00:25:30,929 - Hello. - I should have known 681 00:25:30,929 --> 00:25:32,297 you two would have been here. 682 00:25:32,297 --> 00:25:34,799 [Constance] Ah, the famous Abracadabra. 683 00:25:34,799 --> 00:25:38,203 She is a beaut-- very distinctive coloring. 684 00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:40,705 Well, this really is a happy accident, right? 685 00:25:40,705 --> 00:25:44,509 You, me, and Joyce all in the same exact spot? 686 00:25:44,509 --> 00:25:46,978 It's like the universe wants us to continue 687 00:25:46,978 --> 00:25:48,179 our conversation, Connie. 688 00:25:48,179 --> 00:25:50,348 - Very serendipitous. - Agreed. 689 00:25:50,348 --> 00:25:52,417 Maybe Constance doesn't want to talk shop right now. 690 00:25:52,417 --> 00:25:53,718 [Constance] Oh, no, no, no. It's fine. 691 00:25:53,718 --> 00:25:56,621 Entrepreneurs proposition me everywhere I go. 692 00:25:56,621 --> 00:25:58,790 It's the perils of being a wealthy widow. 693 00:25:58,790 --> 00:26:01,359 [chuckles] I can only imagine. 694 00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:03,008 Well, like I was saying over tea, 695 00:26:03,008 --> 00:26:05,430 with your backing financially and my know-how, 696 00:26:05,430 --> 00:26:07,132 we could turn Minx into so much more 697 00:26:07,132 --> 00:26:08,633 than just a magazine. 698 00:26:08,633 --> 00:26:10,502 I mean, just picture this-- uh, merchandising, 699 00:26:10,502 --> 00:26:13,138 uh, uh, uh, events, international editions, 700 00:26:13,138 --> 00:26:14,940 taking this thing global. 701 00:26:14,940 --> 00:26:16,875 Think about the money for a second. 702 00:26:16,875 --> 00:26:20,145 And all of this, it's not me. 703 00:26:20,145 --> 00:26:21,513 It's her. 704 00:26:21,513 --> 00:26:23,248 It's all made possible 705 00:26:23,248 --> 00:26:26,084 by our brilliant editorial leadership 706 00:26:26,084 --> 00:26:28,753 from this lady right here, Ms. Joyce Prigger. 707 00:26:28,753 --> 00:26:30,155 Joyce? 708 00:26:32,290 --> 00:26:33,925 Constance, could I talk to you alone? 709 00:26:33,925 --> 00:26:35,293 Well, I don't-- I don't think that's necessary. 710 00:26:35,293 --> 00:26:36,761 - I think we could just-- - No, no. 711 00:26:36,761 --> 00:26:38,229 Why don't you be a lamb and take our babies for a spin? 712 00:26:38,229 --> 00:26:39,998 - [Doug scoffs] - They look like they have 713 00:26:39,998 --> 00:26:41,766 some business to attend to as well. 714 00:26:41,766 --> 00:26:43,468 Well, it looks to me they're so comfortable-- 715 00:26:43,468 --> 00:26:45,136 Thank you. 716 00:26:45,136 --> 00:26:46,838 [Doug whistles] 717 00:26:46,838 --> 00:26:48,506 All right, you have until they ring the gong 718 00:26:48,506 --> 00:26:50,609 for the grand promenade. 719 00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:53,592 But know this-- I don't invest in businesses. 720 00:26:53,592 --> 00:26:56,014 I invest in people. 721 00:26:56,014 --> 00:26:58,083 So why should I invest in you? 722 00:26:58,083 --> 00:26:59,451 Go. 723 00:26:59,451 --> 00:27:01,820 Well, it isn't just me. 724 00:27:01,820 --> 00:27:03,855 It's my whole team. 725 00:27:03,855 --> 00:27:06,257 And... 726 00:27:06,257 --> 00:27:08,493 we're outsiders like you. 727 00:27:08,493 --> 00:27:10,562 We had to blaze our own trail. 728 00:27:10,562 --> 00:27:12,030 And I don't want to stop doing that 729 00:27:12,030 --> 00:27:14,833 just because Condé Nast is panting at the door, you know? 730 00:27:14,833 --> 00:27:16,868 I want to keep doing it our way. 731 00:27:16,868 --> 00:27:18,169 I want to-- 732 00:27:18,169 --> 00:27:21,172 I want to keep fighting with a woman at the helm, 733 00:27:21,172 --> 00:27:24,876 who not only understands it but who has actually lived it. 734 00:27:24,876 --> 00:27:26,678 But I lost my fight. 735 00:27:26,678 --> 00:27:29,681 And they took my company, and then they tried to kill me. 736 00:27:29,681 --> 00:27:32,017 Well, this time you wouldn't be alone. 737 00:27:32,017 --> 00:27:34,152 And I promise that I won't kill you. 738 00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:36,855 [chuckles] 739 00:27:36,855 --> 00:27:40,291 Ever since he put this idea in my head, 740 00:27:40,291 --> 00:27:43,428 I cannot imagine anyone else publishing Minx. 741 00:27:44,963 --> 00:27:48,099 Well, I have always been tickled 742 00:27:48,099 --> 00:27:49,467 by the taboo. 743 00:27:53,104 --> 00:27:54,339 All right. 744 00:27:54,339 --> 00:27:56,374 Maybe I have one good chapter left 745 00:27:56,374 --> 00:27:57,876 before I call it a career. 746 00:27:57,876 --> 00:27:59,511 Oh, my God. 747 00:27:59,511 --> 00:28:01,312 - [laughing] Really? - Yes. 748 00:28:01,312 --> 00:28:03,281 Oh, my God, this is incredible! 749 00:28:03,281 --> 00:28:04,516 Oh, my God. 750 00:28:04,516 --> 00:28:07,018 I cannot believe he was right. 751 00:28:07,018 --> 00:28:08,586 Yes, he was. 752 00:28:08,586 --> 00:28:10,001 Quite the charmer, isn't he? 753 00:28:10,001 --> 00:28:10,989 Well... 754 00:28:10,989 --> 00:28:13,024 Yeah, but do we need him? 755 00:28:13,024 --> 00:28:15,393 Look, the man clearly stole that dog, 756 00:28:15,393 --> 00:28:18,496 and that kind of bravado is very risky. 757 00:28:19,864 --> 00:28:22,167 [indistinct chatter, dogs barking] 758 00:28:24,602 --> 00:28:25,770 All right, yes. 759 00:28:25,770 --> 00:28:29,140 Yes, his methods are... unconventional. 760 00:28:29,140 --> 00:28:32,343 But he pushes me in a way that makes me so much better. 761 00:28:32,343 --> 00:28:35,714 I would not be here if it weren't for him. 762 00:28:35,714 --> 00:28:38,783 Minx is as much his success as it is mine. 763 00:28:40,385 --> 00:28:43,121 Uh, can you please never, ever tell him that, though? 764 00:28:43,121 --> 00:28:44,689 Oh, a woman would never. 765 00:28:44,689 --> 00:28:45,824 Great. 766 00:28:46,758 --> 00:28:47,792 Great. 767 00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:51,396 [Rod Stewart's "You Wear It Well" playing] 768 00:28:51,396 --> 00:28:53,698 Uh... 769 00:28:53,698 --> 00:28:55,033 Um, I'll come with. 770 00:28:55,033 --> 00:28:58,002 [Doug] Well, look at you! You closed the deal, kid! 771 00:28:58,002 --> 00:29:00,338 We're 50/50 partners, and I'm telling you, 772 00:29:00,338 --> 00:29:01,639 it's gonna be different this time. 773 00:29:01,639 --> 00:29:04,642 [Joyce] Actually, 51/49-- Constance insisted. 774 00:29:04,642 --> 00:29:06,845 Well, that's 49 more than I had this morning. 775 00:29:06,845 --> 00:29:08,246 How's that? 776 00:29:08,246 --> 00:29:09,914 [Joyce] Was it rude not to stay for the ribbon ceremony? 777 00:29:09,914 --> 00:29:11,416 [Doug] No. We got what we came for. 778 00:29:11,416 --> 00:29:12,650 Let's go. 779 00:29:12,650 --> 00:29:13,918 [laughter] 780 00:29:13,918 --> 00:29:15,353 So let me get this straight-- I quit my job 781 00:29:15,353 --> 00:29:17,255 to end up at the same place with the same people 782 00:29:17,255 --> 00:29:18,590 minus three paychecks? 783 00:29:18,590 --> 00:29:20,759 Isn't it great? And now a countess is in charge. 784 00:29:20,759 --> 00:29:22,127 Uh, former countess. 785 00:29:22,127 --> 00:29:23,541 [Bambi] Hey! 786 00:29:23,541 --> 00:29:25,663 And I just want you to know that I've actually been 787 00:29:25,663 --> 00:29:27,465 to French Polynesia, 788 00:29:27,465 --> 00:29:29,567 and it's a lot nicer than this shithole. 789 00:29:29,567 --> 00:29:30,602 [laughter] 790 00:29:30,602 --> 00:29:33,671 But they do not serve kamikazes. 791 00:29:33,671 --> 00:29:34,753 [all cheer] 792 00:29:34,753 --> 00:29:36,107 Well, to being back, everybody. 793 00:29:36,107 --> 00:29:37,842 - On new terms. - With back pay. 794 00:29:37,842 --> 00:29:39,277 - We'll see. - [glasses clink] 795 00:29:39,277 --> 00:29:41,146 - [person] Whoo! - [laughter] 796 00:29:41,146 --> 00:29:42,480 - [Doug] Mmm. - [Tina] Mmm, mmm, mmm. 797 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,082 [Richie] Oh, God. 798 00:29:44,082 --> 00:29:45,984 You really gonna leave all this for business school? 799 00:29:45,984 --> 00:29:48,019 - [Joyce] You want more? - [Richie] Whoo! 800 00:29:48,019 --> 00:29:50,021 - [Doug chuckles] - I was thinking about it. 801 00:29:50,021 --> 00:29:51,389 Well, don't. 802 00:29:51,389 --> 00:29:52,824 The best is yet to come. 803 00:29:52,824 --> 00:29:54,292 [Constance] All right, everyone, 804 00:29:54,292 --> 00:29:56,161 the next round is on me! 805 00:29:56,161 --> 00:29:57,495 [all cheering] 806 00:29:57,495 --> 00:29:59,264 We are celebrating! 807 00:29:59,264 --> 00:30:02,200 [Rod] ♪ You wear it well ♪ 808 00:30:02,200 --> 00:30:06,104 ♪ A little out of time But I don't mind ♪ 809 00:30:06,104 --> 00:30:08,173 ♪ ♪ 810 00:30:08,173 --> 00:30:11,976 ♪ But I ain't forgetting That you were once mine ♪ 811 00:30:11,976 --> 00:30:15,747 ♪ But I blew it Without even tryin' ♪ 812 00:30:15,747 --> 00:30:18,416 ♪ Now I'm eatin' My heart out ♪ 813 00:30:18,416 --> 00:30:21,820 ♪ Tryin' to get A letter through ♪ 814 00:30:21,820 --> 00:30:24,455 ♪ ♪ 815 00:30:37,802 --> 00:30:41,506 ♪ Since you've been gone It's hard to carry on ♪ 816 00:30:41,506 --> 00:30:43,141 ♪ ♪ 817 00:30:43,141 --> 00:30:46,211 ♪ I'm gonna write About the birthday gown ♪ 818 00:30:46,211 --> 00:30:48,213 ♪ That I bought in town ♪ 819 00:30:48,213 --> 00:30:51,282 ♪ When you sat down And cried on the stairs ♪ 820 00:30:51,282 --> 00:30:53,585 ♪ You knew It didn't cost the earth ♪ 821 00:30:53,585 --> 00:30:55,920 ♪ But for what it's worth ♪ 822 00:30:55,920 --> 00:30:58,489 ♪ You make me feel A millionaire ♪ 823 00:30:58,489 --> 00:31:01,759 ♪ And you wear it well ♪ 824 00:31:01,759 --> 00:31:05,396 ♪ Madame Onassis Got nothin' on you ♪ 825 00:31:05,396 --> 00:31:07,065 ♪ No, no ♪ 826 00:31:07,065 --> 00:31:11,769 ♪ Anyway, my coffee's cold And I'm getting told ♪ 827 00:31:11,769 --> 00:31:14,839 ♪ That I gotta get back to wor ♪ 828 00:31:14,839 --> 00:31:19,611 ♪ So when the sun goes low And you're home all alone ♪ 829 00:31:19,611 --> 00:31:21,679 ♪ Think of me and try not to l ♪