1 00:00:05,046 --> 00:00:08,591 [bright jingle] 2 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:10,385 - Tensions have cooled here at Woodbridge, 3 00:00:10,468 --> 00:00:13,012 but just a few nights ago, the campus was in flames 4 00:00:13,096 --> 00:00:17,517 over a new pornographic ladies' magazine called "Minx." 5 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,352 Copies of the frisky periodical 6 00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:22,230 blew through the quad, igniting a raucous debate 7 00:00:22,313 --> 00:00:24,274 that has left locals raging. 8 00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:26,276 - They're called privates for a reason. 9 00:00:26,359 --> 00:00:28,945 - This is yet another example of the media industrial complex 10 00:00:29,028 --> 00:00:31,239 amplifying the voices of mainstream feminists. 11 00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:34,159 - Reading this is supposed to make girls want sex? 12 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:35,618 I don't get it. 13 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:37,620 - Local action groups have already formed 14 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,080 to protest the magazine. 15 00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:42,667 - This filth has no place in our community. 16 00:00:42,751 --> 00:00:46,129 I stand with the concerned citizens of Encino, 17 00:00:46,212 --> 00:00:50,133 decent, God-fearing people who will help us win the fight 18 00:00:50,216 --> 00:00:52,677 for the soul of the San Fernando Valley. 19 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:54,721 [upbeat rock music] 20 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:56,306 - Okay, okay. 21 00:00:56,389 --> 00:00:57,807 Keep it up. Keep it up. 22 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,642 - I have negatives to print. Can I just-- 23 00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:01,186 - Less talkin', more lickin'. 24 00:01:01,269 --> 00:01:02,896 - I used to love hearing that. 25 00:01:02,979 --> 00:01:04,397 - More envelopes, please. 26 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,065 - There you go. 27 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:09,068 "Champions of Chatsworth Chastity"--good. 28 00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,528 "Virgin Vigilantes of Van Nuys." 29 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,655 I can't even say that one. - No one can. 30 00:01:12,739 --> 00:01:14,908 That's why it's gonna be so funny on the news. 31 00:01:14,991 --> 00:01:16,367 This one's my masterpiece. 32 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:20,497 - "Heavy-Hearted Housewives of Hollywood Hills." 33 00:01:20,580 --> 00:01:21,998 - They call that alliteration. 34 00:01:22,081 --> 00:01:23,500 - Okay, you're fucking with me. I know this move. 35 00:01:23,583 --> 00:01:25,168 - I don't know what you're talking about. 36 00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:26,419 - I'm trying to pull a rabbit out of a hat here. 37 00:01:26,503 --> 00:01:27,837 Could you please help me? 38 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:31,800 - Ooh, "Matronly Magicians of Mulholland." 39 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,510 - I hate it when Mom and Dad fight. 40 00:01:33,593 --> 00:01:35,595 - Wait, so none of these groups are real? 41 00:01:35,678 --> 00:01:38,139 - Doug, may I have a word, please? 42 00:01:38,223 --> 00:01:39,432 - Let me do my job. 43 00:01:39,516 --> 00:01:41,184 It's working. I'm moving. I'm shaking. 44 00:01:41,267 --> 00:01:43,061 I'm stirring the pot. People are talking. 45 00:01:43,144 --> 00:01:44,687 - Yeah, but it's all criticism. 46 00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:46,689 - If everybody was loving it, we wouldn't have a story. 47 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:49,025 Joyce, I got reporters calling me from everywhere-- 48 00:01:49,108 --> 00:01:50,944 from the "San Francisco Chronicle," 49 00:01:51,027 --> 00:01:52,529 from the "Philadelphia Inquirer." 50 00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,447 - That's a lesser paper. - It's working. 51 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:58,535 And you did a killer job stepping up issue two. 52 00:01:58,618 --> 00:02:00,745 And Richie's cover? [whistles] 53 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,248 Very sexy stuff, Joyce. 54 00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,415 Yes! 55 00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:06,209 Look at how many more dicks you got. 56 00:02:06,292 --> 00:02:08,836 - Mm-hmm. - You should be so proud 57 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:10,880 of this excellent magazine. 58 00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:12,674 - Yeah, but what's the point of making it excellent 59 00:02:12,757 --> 00:02:15,343 if everybody's reading it the wrong way? 60 00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:17,345 - What do you mean by that? You mean, like, back to front? 61 00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:20,056 - I want women to feel empowered, not embarrassed. 62 00:02:20,139 --> 00:02:22,892 Let me talk to these reporters. - Oh, no, no, not a chance. 63 00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,602 The plan is working. You'll just Joyce it up. 64 00:02:24,686 --> 00:02:27,272 - We are scaring away our target audience. 65 00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,859 - Just--all right, you know what? 66 00:02:30,942 --> 00:02:32,318 I'll give you one reporter. 67 00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:33,653 - Oh, my God, you're so generous. 68 00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:35,989 Okay, stuffy. Mean. 69 00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:38,074 Notoriously grabby. 70 00:02:38,157 --> 00:02:39,576 Beulah Barrett called? 71 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:43,788 She does the best profiles on celebrities in crisis. 72 00:02:43,872 --> 00:02:45,832 Am I a celebrity? - Sure, you're a celebrity. 73 00:02:45,915 --> 00:02:47,584 Here, give them to me. Tell them your vision 74 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,168 for issue two. - Yeah. 75 00:02:49,252 --> 00:02:50,670 - And then why don't you do this? 76 00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:51,921 Why don't you, uh... 77 00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,464 teach them how they should read it? 78 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,050 - With a yellow highlighter and an open heart. 79 00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,886 [funky rock music] 80 00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:02,181 - ♪ Ooh-hoo-hoo ♪ 81 00:03:02,265 --> 00:03:04,267 ♪ Ooh ♪ 82 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,769 ♪ Ha ♪ 83 00:03:06,853 --> 00:03:09,939 - Oh, how funny. We missed this one. 84 00:03:10,023 --> 00:03:11,399 Let me just, uh... 85 00:03:11,482 --> 00:03:14,152 ah, but wait, it's for me. 86 00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:16,279 - [gasps] There are no coincidences. 87 00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:18,615 Chairman Mao taught me that. 88 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:22,076 - "Dear Richie, noticed your work in 'Minx.' 89 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:25,288 Come see us sometime. Let's chat." 90 00:03:25,371 --> 00:03:29,042 Edward Shawn of the Edward Shawn Gallery. 91 00:03:29,125 --> 00:03:30,752 - Oh, my God, he has two first names. 92 00:03:30,835 --> 00:03:32,253 That's so fancy. - I know. 93 00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,297 He has the chicest gallery in West Hollywood 94 00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:36,049 and a real eye for emerging artists. 95 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,759 He taught David Hockney how to swim. 96 00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,552 - Wow. What if he wants to show your photos? 97 00:03:39,636 --> 00:03:41,471 [gasps] Or what if he wants to have sex with you? 98 00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:43,514 Sometimes it's both. - Mm, just says chat. 99 00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:45,600 - I am so glad someone is finally getting 100 00:03:45,683 --> 00:03:47,310 the recognition they deserve around here. 101 00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:48,728 - Yes, well, 102 00:03:48,811 --> 00:03:50,772 whenever it happens for me and I become famous, 103 00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:52,315 I promise we'll still be friends. 104 00:03:52,398 --> 00:03:53,524 - [chuckles] 105 00:03:53,608 --> 00:03:55,568 I'm already famous, so I understand. 106 00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:57,779 - Ms. Prigger? 107 00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,989 Terrence Carpenter, "Associated Press." 108 00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:01,824 - Uh, what happened to Beulah? 109 00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,368 - Last-minute emergency sit-down 110 00:04:03,451 --> 00:04:04,410 with Cloris Leachman. 111 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:05,370 You understand. 112 00:04:05,453 --> 00:04:06,996 - Oh, yeah, of course. 113 00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,331 Cloris Leachman is... 114 00:04:08,414 --> 00:04:10,541 - More important than you. [chuckles] 115 00:04:10,625 --> 00:04:14,087 It's not personal. - Uh, no, I know. 116 00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:15,797 I'm just, um... 117 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:19,007 I was really looking forward to speaking with Beulah. 118 00:04:19,091 --> 00:04:22,637 - Oh, yeah, well, I mean, I could say the same about you. 119 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,181 I cover the publishing beat at the "AP," 120 00:04:25,264 --> 00:04:27,433 and I have been following the chatter about "Minx." 121 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:28,685 New magazine. 122 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,603 Starting to make some noise. Not easy. 123 00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:32,271 - Well, I'm just grateful 124 00:04:32,355 --> 00:04:33,940 to be part of the conversation, really. 125 00:04:34,023 --> 00:04:37,694 - Well, let's dive into the story of Joyce Prigger. 126 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:39,320 - Okay. 127 00:04:39,404 --> 00:04:41,364 - When did the matriarchy first awaken? 128 00:04:41,447 --> 00:04:43,241 - You've done your research, I see. 129 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:44,575 - That's the job, 130 00:04:44,659 --> 00:04:46,577 as you're aware, being a journalist yourself. 131 00:04:46,661 --> 00:04:50,373 - Well, I guess my story starts where every good story starts. 132 00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:52,750 Seneca Falls, 1848. 133 00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,085 [funky music] 134 00:04:54,168 --> 00:04:56,629 - Did you actually say that? 135 00:04:56,713 --> 00:04:57,922 - Obviously not. 136 00:04:58,006 --> 00:04:59,340 I said I wanted to start 137 00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:01,217 a conversation about female oppression. 138 00:05:01,300 --> 00:05:03,386 My point of view has been egregiously misrepresented. 139 00:05:03,469 --> 00:05:04,762 - Okay, okay, hold on. 140 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,015 "When pressed on 'Minx's' intended audience, 141 00:05:07,098 --> 00:05:09,350 "Prigger cast a wide net, encouraging girls 142 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:12,562 as young as 13 to seek out her magazine"? 143 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,313 - I said that I wish I had access 144 00:05:14,397 --> 00:05:16,107 to this kind of material when I was coming of age. 145 00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:17,734 - Oh, you are coming of age. 146 00:05:17,817 --> 00:05:19,902 [chuckles] Believe me. - We have to fix this. 147 00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:21,571 We've gotta demand a retraction. 148 00:05:21,654 --> 00:05:23,156 - No way. This is a national story. 149 00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:25,116 It's been picked up by 180 papers 150 00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:27,618 just as we have released issue two. 151 00:05:27,702 --> 00:05:29,245 This is a jackpot. 152 00:05:29,328 --> 00:05:30,538 Oh, this one's even better. 153 00:05:30,621 --> 00:05:31,998 "Pornographer defends riot, 154 00:05:32,081 --> 00:05:35,209 advocates for adolescent sexual awakening"? 155 00:05:35,293 --> 00:05:37,920 Joyce, you're a fucking gold mine! 156 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,756 - Oh, my God. 157 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,800 [soft music in French] 158 00:05:42,884 --> 00:05:49,974 ♪ ♪ 159 00:06:05,114 --> 00:06:06,532 - [gasps softly] 160 00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,618 [clears throat] 161 00:06:15,124 --> 00:06:17,502 - [clears throat] 162 00:06:17,585 --> 00:06:21,214 Are you Ricardo Montes Izquierda? 163 00:06:21,297 --> 00:06:23,508 - No. 164 00:06:23,591 --> 00:06:24,884 Thank you. 165 00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,390 - Don't they sort of belong to me by now? 166 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:33,309 - There's no statute of limitations 167 00:06:33,392 --> 00:06:34,519 on borrowed pumps. 168 00:06:34,602 --> 00:06:35,895 Thank you. 169 00:06:35,978 --> 00:06:38,022 And I'm coming for that clutch, missy. 170 00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,733 - Are you sure you can't stay for a drink? 171 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:42,652 - Well, I would, I just-- I want to hit the highway 172 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,570 before the smog rolls in. 173 00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:47,031 - Well, maybe you can come by the office this week. 174 00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,324 We all miss you. 175 00:06:48,407 --> 00:06:50,243 - I promise I'm gonna stop by soon. 176 00:06:50,326 --> 00:06:51,828 It's just been so crazy at the house 177 00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:54,413 and things with Lenny have been a little off. 178 00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:56,666 - I just--I really could have used you the last few days. 179 00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:59,502 It's--everybody hates me, Shel. 180 00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:01,045 First it was the magazine, 181 00:07:01,129 --> 00:07:03,422 but now I am the one being pilloried. 182 00:07:05,591 --> 00:07:08,678 - Joycey, when no one would publish your magazine, 183 00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,513 do you remember how miserable you were? 184 00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,224 - Yeah, it's terrible to be ignored. 185 00:07:13,307 --> 00:07:14,851 - And then after the first issue came out 186 00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:16,185 and no one bought it, you felt like 187 00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:17,353 it was the end of the world. 188 00:07:17,436 --> 00:07:18,604 - That's because it landed 189 00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:20,356 with a deafening thud. 190 00:07:20,439 --> 00:07:22,066 It's a real shock to the system. 191 00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:24,527 - I'm just saying, if every step has been torture, 192 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:27,613 it makes me wonder, do you even want a magazine? 193 00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:29,907 - Of course I want a magazine. It's just it's harder 194 00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:31,784 than I thought it was gonna be, that's all. 195 00:07:31,868 --> 00:07:34,745 - Yeah, well, most things are. 196 00:07:36,539 --> 00:07:37,790 [door creaking] 197 00:07:37,874 --> 00:07:40,835 Ooh, Daltons. I love their financiers. 198 00:07:40,918 --> 00:07:42,211 - Oh. 199 00:07:42,295 --> 00:07:45,631 - Secret admirer? - Bye. 200 00:07:45,715 --> 00:07:47,091 [door closes] 201 00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:51,971 [chuckles] 202 00:07:52,054 --> 00:07:53,723 - Well, thank you for joining me. 203 00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,391 - You know how much I love to see 204 00:07:55,474 --> 00:07:58,227 our profitable magazines in their natural environment. 205 00:07:58,311 --> 00:08:00,563 Ahh, "Naked Nurses." 206 00:08:00,646 --> 00:08:04,275 Ugh, 70% margin. Now that's sexy. 207 00:08:04,358 --> 00:08:07,737 - Where the hell is "Minx"? - Oh, no. 208 00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,906 Has the crown jewel of the Bottom Dollar empire 209 00:08:09,989 --> 00:08:11,782 gone missing yet again? 210 00:08:11,866 --> 00:08:13,284 - Hey, Artie! 211 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,203 I thought we'd been over this. Where's my dick mag? 212 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,079 - Gone. They took it all. - Seized? 213 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,415 Sure, that tracks. - No, sold. 214 00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:22,001 I put it on the stands, gone in two hours. 215 00:08:22,084 --> 00:08:24,170 You gotta get me more. 216 00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:25,630 - No problem. [chuckles] 217 00:08:25,713 --> 00:08:27,215 - So get this, Franco. 218 00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:31,219 Some broad right here in sunny LA, Joyce Prigger, 219 00:08:31,302 --> 00:08:35,181 is putting out a magazine full of naked guys 220 00:08:35,264 --> 00:08:38,517 to help the females feel more satisfied. 221 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:41,102 - Ha! You know, I bet if Little Miss Prigger 222 00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:43,648 had a real-life jolly stick to play with, 223 00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,858 she would have saved herself the trouble. 224 00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:48,611 - [laughing] [air horn blaring] 225 00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,112 [bell clangs] - Whoo! 226 00:08:50,196 --> 00:08:52,323 We just sold out in Cleveland! 227 00:08:52,406 --> 00:08:53,741 [all cheering] - Oh! 228 00:08:53,824 --> 00:08:56,827 - What? Ha! - Whoo! 229 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,872 [funky soul music] 230 00:08:59,956 --> 00:09:06,629 ♪ ♪ 231 00:09:06,712 --> 00:09:09,590 - Well, she's calling it "Minx", 232 00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:11,175 and she has filled it 233 00:09:11,259 --> 00:09:15,054 with all of her feminist mumbo jumbo. 234 00:09:15,137 --> 00:09:16,472 Are you reading this, Nancy? 235 00:09:16,555 --> 00:09:18,015 - You better believe it, Billy Boy. 236 00:09:18,099 --> 00:09:20,977 - Fellas, keep a leash on your ladies. 237 00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:23,271 Don't want 'em getting any big ideas. 238 00:09:23,354 --> 00:09:26,607 - I want a raise. [air horn blaring] 239 00:09:26,691 --> 00:09:29,443 - That's the thing about these libbers. 240 00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:31,195 They wanna fix something that ain't broken. 241 00:09:31,279 --> 00:09:33,322 - How hard is it to get your nails done 242 00:09:33,406 --> 00:09:34,657 and cook a nice meal? 243 00:09:34,740 --> 00:09:37,243 [bell clanging] - We just sold out Vegas! 244 00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,662 [cheers and applause] Whoo! 245 00:09:39,745 --> 00:09:42,581 ♪ ♪ 246 00:09:42,665 --> 00:09:45,501 Whoo! [bell clanging] 247 00:09:45,584 --> 00:09:48,754 Yeah! 248 00:09:50,631 --> 00:09:55,177 - Chicks like Joyce Prigger, nothing but trouble. 249 00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:56,846 But I know the type. 250 00:09:56,929 --> 00:10:00,683 Once some unlucky guy takes her off the market, 251 00:10:00,766 --> 00:10:02,393 she'll shut her trap. 252 00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,312 - Oh, if any of our loyal listeners 253 00:10:04,395 --> 00:10:07,565 wanna jump on that grenade, you'll be a hero to us all. 254 00:10:07,648 --> 00:10:08,941 - [clears throat] - [laughs] 255 00:10:09,025 --> 00:10:10,526 [air horn blares] 256 00:10:10,609 --> 00:10:12,695 [bell clanging] - New York City! 257 00:10:12,778 --> 00:10:15,740 [cheers and applause] 258 00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:22,913 ♪ ♪ 259 00:10:24,498 --> 00:10:28,419 all: Parks, not porn! Parks, not porn! 260 00:10:28,502 --> 00:10:30,463 Parks, not porn! 261 00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:38,637 Parks, not porn! Parks, not porn! 262 00:10:38,721 --> 00:10:43,601 - Friends, neighbors, wives, mothers, 263 00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,811 we didn't ask for this war, 264 00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:50,733 but I promise you, we're ready to fight it. 265 00:10:50,816 --> 00:10:52,568 [all cheering] 266 00:10:52,651 --> 00:10:55,821 If Joyce Prigger and her soldiers of smut 267 00:10:55,905 --> 00:10:58,866 wanna put their magazines into the hands of our children, 268 00:10:58,949 --> 00:11:02,244 well, they're going to have to get through us first. 269 00:11:02,328 --> 00:11:04,955 [all cheering] 270 00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:06,957 [upbeat funky music] 271 00:11:07,041 --> 00:11:08,751 - Hey, Richie. - Hey. 272 00:11:11,212 --> 00:11:12,671 - [clears throat] 273 00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,092 [in English accent] "Richie, 274 00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:18,302 "congrats on a fabulous second issue. 275 00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:20,262 "Having a little salon for some of my artists 276 00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:21,931 "at my place in the hills. 277 00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:23,641 "Bring your colleagues. 278 00:11:23,724 --> 00:11:26,268 Would love to celebrate with the whole 'Minx' team. Edward." 279 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,646 We have to go. - I'm pretty busy. 280 00:11:28,729 --> 00:11:29,980 I don't think I can make-- - What? 281 00:11:30,064 --> 00:11:31,774 You were so excited to meet him. 282 00:11:31,857 --> 00:11:35,319 [gasps] Oh, no. He tried to sleep with you. 283 00:11:35,403 --> 00:11:37,780 You did sleep with him? You slept with him twice? 284 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:39,365 It was good? It was bad. 285 00:11:39,448 --> 00:11:41,283 He hates his mother. - Stop. 286 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:42,451 I bailed, okay? 287 00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:44,495 I got there and it was 288 00:11:44,578 --> 00:11:45,746 way out of my league. 289 00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:47,915 There's no chance I'm ever gonna be 290 00:11:47,998 --> 00:11:50,000 up on a wall next to Hockney. 291 00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:53,170 - You know, when I stepped on my first set, 292 00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:55,131 I didn't feel like I belonged. 293 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:58,008 I'm not even really sure how I got there. 294 00:11:58,092 --> 00:12:01,262 But the photographer could tell I was really nervous, 295 00:12:01,345 --> 00:12:04,306 and so he walked over to me and he said, 296 00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,058 "You're not gonna be hot forever. 297 00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:07,309 "Now take off those shorts 298 00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,811 and get on that elephant and ride." 299 00:12:08,894 --> 00:12:10,354 - [chuckling] Oh, this industry. 300 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,481 - Babes, you're so talented. 301 00:12:12,565 --> 00:12:14,775 You just need to shine bright and show everyone 302 00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,652 how much you're worth. 303 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:19,363 Plus, Joyce could use some fun. 304 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:20,906 We could make a night of it. 305 00:12:20,990 --> 00:12:22,158 - Okay, fine, fine, 306 00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,993 but I get to leave whenever I want. 307 00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:25,661 - Okay, you say that now, 308 00:12:25,744 --> 00:12:27,830 but last time I went to a party in the hills, 309 00:12:27,913 --> 00:12:29,331 I stayed for a year. 310 00:12:29,415 --> 00:12:31,459 And then the murders started. 311 00:12:31,542 --> 00:12:34,336 You're gonna love it. 312 00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,088 - The Manson murders? 313 00:12:36,172 --> 00:12:37,548 - Not those! 314 00:12:37,631 --> 00:12:40,468 - The library, one of my favorite places 315 00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,678 in the entire world. - I mean, she has a point. 316 00:12:42,761 --> 00:12:45,014 Even I don't think "Minx" should be in a library. 317 00:12:45,097 --> 00:12:47,475 - I never said that. 318 00:12:47,558 --> 00:12:48,851 You know, just to play devil's advocate, 319 00:12:48,934 --> 00:12:50,436 who is to say it's the worst idea 320 00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,354 to bring these concepts to the common square? 321 00:12:52,438 --> 00:12:55,399 - If you think people should be able to check out your magazine 322 00:12:55,483 --> 00:12:58,027 while also getting a copy of "Huckleberry Finn," 323 00:12:58,110 --> 00:12:59,778 I think that's an opinion you need to share 324 00:12:59,862 --> 00:13:01,071 with the whole world. 325 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,490 - Oh, yeah, you would love that. 326 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:04,408 - No, I love selling magazines. 327 00:13:04,492 --> 00:13:05,993 And speaking of, would you be willing 328 00:13:06,076 --> 00:13:07,536 to go on "Willy and Franco"? 329 00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:08,913 Pump up our numbers a little bit? 330 00:13:08,996 --> 00:13:10,539 - I wouldn't go anywhere near them. 331 00:13:10,623 --> 00:13:11,874 They're Neanderthals. 332 00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:13,834 - Neanderthals with a national audience. 333 00:13:13,918 --> 00:13:15,419 - Doug, I am getting hate mail. 334 00:13:15,503 --> 00:13:16,837 - [laughing] Bags and bags of it. 335 00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:19,548 - Four-letter word. Four-letter word. 336 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:22,218 Five-letter word. Death threat. 337 00:13:22,301 --> 00:13:24,595 Oh, God, and this absolute chestnut 338 00:13:24,678 --> 00:13:26,805 from Bottom Dollar's biggest fan, Norman. 339 00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,349 [clears throat] 340 00:13:28,432 --> 00:13:30,809 "Women in pornography should be seen and not heard 341 00:13:30,893 --> 00:13:33,395 "and certainly should not be given their own magazine. 342 00:13:33,479 --> 00:13:35,731 "Like that vile temptress Yoko Ono, 343 00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:39,568 "you are single-handedly unraveling America's Beatles. 344 00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:41,111 Bottom Dollar Publications." 345 00:13:41,195 --> 00:13:43,781 - Aww, he thinks we're The Beatles. 346 00:13:43,864 --> 00:13:45,241 - Doug! - Joyce, I've been 347 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,660 in this business a long time, and as you know, 348 00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:49,954 it is not always a popular one. 349 00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:51,747 I want to show you something special. 350 00:13:51,830 --> 00:13:53,749 - Oh, God. 351 00:13:53,832 --> 00:13:56,335 - A few of my favorite love letters. 352 00:13:56,418 --> 00:14:00,923 "If I had a time machine, I'd go back to 1933 353 00:14:01,006 --> 00:14:05,010 "and kill you as a toddler, then, time permitting, 354 00:14:05,094 --> 00:14:07,179 I'd go to Germany and I'd kill Hitler." 355 00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:09,431 - That is horrible. - No, if somebody is willing 356 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:11,725 to write you a letter, that means you got them. 357 00:14:11,809 --> 00:14:13,102 That means that you matter. 358 00:14:13,185 --> 00:14:14,937 - What you're describing is masochism. 359 00:14:15,020 --> 00:14:17,273 - No, what I'm describing is not giving a shit. 360 00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:19,608 You should try that sometime. 361 00:14:22,361 --> 00:14:23,862 Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm. 362 00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,406 [mellow music playing] 363 00:14:25,489 --> 00:14:27,116 - Really enjoying this, huh? - I am. 364 00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:28,701 The only way this could be any better 365 00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:30,327 is you admitting that I was right. 366 00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,037 - Like you knew any of this was gonna happen. 367 00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:33,289 - Hey, I had a hunch. 368 00:14:33,372 --> 00:14:34,582 - You were blindly throwing darts 369 00:14:34,665 --> 00:14:35,749 praying one would hit. 370 00:14:35,833 --> 00:14:37,084 - [chuckling] And one did, 371 00:14:37,167 --> 00:14:38,836 right in the ass of our patron saint, 372 00:14:38,919 --> 00:14:40,462 Joyce Prigger, huh? 373 00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,756 - Sure, if she holds. - Mm-hmm. 374 00:14:42,840 --> 00:14:44,174 - You've hitched your wagon to a star 375 00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:47,678 that's about to supernova out of existence. 376 00:14:47,761 --> 00:14:49,430 - Nah, I'm good. 377 00:14:49,513 --> 00:14:51,056 I'm thinking of upping our next print run 378 00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,474 to a cool million. 379 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:54,977 - Why not two? - Now she's ready to dance. 380 00:14:55,060 --> 00:14:56,520 [laughing] Why not two? 381 00:14:56,604 --> 00:14:58,188 - Just hope it's not on the deck of the "Titanic." 382 00:14:58,272 --> 00:15:00,316 - Hey, those people were in a bad situation, 383 00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,818 and they made the best of it. 384 00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:05,487 - And then they all died. 385 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,657 [The Kit Kats' "Look Away" playing softly] 386 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:15,831 ♪ ♪ 387 00:15:22,588 --> 00:15:24,298 - [scoffs] 388 00:15:24,381 --> 00:15:27,176 ♪ ♪ 389 00:15:27,259 --> 00:15:30,179 [music escalates] 390 00:15:30,262 --> 00:15:31,513 ♪ ♪ 391 00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:33,557 - Hey. What're you doing here-- 392 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,143 ♪ ♪ 393 00:15:36,226 --> 00:15:37,770 - No, don't talk. 394 00:15:37,853 --> 00:15:42,900 ♪ ♪ 395 00:15:42,983 --> 00:15:46,070 [birds chirping] 396 00:15:50,282 --> 00:15:52,910 - [chuckles] Morning. - Good morning. 397 00:15:52,993 --> 00:15:56,121 - That was fun. - Yes, it was. 398 00:15:56,205 --> 00:16:00,918 - I forgot how good we are at this. 399 00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:04,046 That was a little better. 400 00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:05,923 Right? 401 00:16:06,006 --> 00:16:09,051 - Well, you did read "Aphrodesia." 402 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:10,552 - Mm-hmm. 403 00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:12,346 [chuckles] Come here. 404 00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,104 - I wish I could just hide out here all day. 405 00:16:20,187 --> 00:16:23,732 - You can. I'll field your calls. 406 00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:26,402 Beat away all those assholes running their mouths. 407 00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,737 - God, it's a bit late for that. 408 00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:30,906 - What are you talking about? 409 00:16:30,989 --> 00:16:33,534 Nobody's image is beyond repair. 410 00:16:33,617 --> 00:16:35,452 Teddy Kennedy is three years removed 411 00:16:35,536 --> 00:16:37,162 from leaving a body in an estuary, 412 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:40,165 and he's still a viable presidential candidate. 413 00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:42,710 - Not my favorite analogy, but... 414 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:45,838 Martha's Vineyard does sound very appealing right now. 415 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:47,464 - Mm. 416 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,842 But you know you shouldn't be hiding. 417 00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:52,720 You should fight back. 418 00:16:52,803 --> 00:16:55,973 Churchill said that, "A lie gets halfway around the world 419 00:16:56,056 --> 00:16:58,350 before the truth puts its pants on." 420 00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:01,478 - Doug's not interested in the truth. 421 00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,897 - Well, you did get in business with a man 422 00:17:03,981 --> 00:17:08,152 who doesn't know a thing about publishing a real magazine. 423 00:17:08,234 --> 00:17:12,281 You deserve a publisher who has the right media contacts, 424 00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:15,576 someone who understands major markets, 425 00:17:15,659 --> 00:17:18,494 who has relationships with advertisers, 426 00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,248 who knows that fall issues are the biggest 427 00:17:21,330 --> 00:17:23,834 and January's a wash. 428 00:17:23,916 --> 00:17:26,252 - It sounds like you have someone in mind. 429 00:17:26,336 --> 00:17:28,797 - It's not your fault that you got into bed 430 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:30,215 with the wrong guy. 431 00:17:30,299 --> 00:17:31,967 You were just so desperate for a yes 432 00:17:32,050 --> 00:17:33,594 that you went with someone who doesn't know a thing 433 00:17:33,677 --> 00:17:35,429 about who you are and what you want to do. 434 00:17:35,512 --> 00:17:38,557 - But if someone like you were my publisher... 435 00:17:38,640 --> 00:17:40,726 - Well, now that you mention it, 436 00:17:40,809 --> 00:17:44,146 I have been looking to make a move. 437 00:17:44,229 --> 00:17:46,315 "Lad" magazine is very limiting, 438 00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,067 and they don't see my potential. 439 00:17:48,150 --> 00:17:49,902 - Spit it out, Glenn. 440 00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:53,822 - I've been sitting on a modest trust from Nana Lily. 441 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:55,407 - Since when? - Since she died. 442 00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,534 - In 1969? - Yes. 443 00:17:57,618 --> 00:18:00,329 And it's enough to set up shop. 444 00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,080 "Minx" as our flagship title, 445 00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:05,375 and you as our glamorous editor in chief, 446 00:18:05,459 --> 00:18:08,170 and me, our debonair publisher. 447 00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:10,005 Look out, world. 448 00:18:10,088 --> 00:18:11,673 - Where was this money two years ago? 449 00:18:11,757 --> 00:18:15,677 - Well, I didn't wanna blow it on something unproven. 450 00:18:15,761 --> 00:18:16,887 - Me. 451 00:18:16,970 --> 00:18:18,889 You didn't want to blow it on me. 452 00:18:18,972 --> 00:18:20,516 [scoffs] Oh, my God. 453 00:18:20,599 --> 00:18:23,977 But now that everyone is talking about my magazine, 454 00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,522 now, suddenly, you wanna invest? 455 00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,191 - Only you can turn this into something nefarious. 456 00:18:29,274 --> 00:18:30,484 I'm--I'm trying to help. 457 00:18:30,567 --> 00:18:32,820 - Help yourself! 458 00:18:32,903 --> 00:18:34,696 [laughs] 459 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,365 - What is so funny? 460 00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:40,577 - I realized that you trying to steal my magazine-- 461 00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:45,207 that is the most ambitious thing you've ever done. 462 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:47,167 [scoffs] 463 00:18:53,006 --> 00:18:54,800 - Ooh, you look hot, babe. 464 00:18:54,883 --> 00:18:57,719 - It's, like, 91 degrees. Why do people dress like this? 465 00:18:57,803 --> 00:18:59,137 - Everyone's gonna wanna talk to you, 466 00:18:59,221 --> 00:19:00,222 and I'll be right by your side. 467 00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,682 - [sighs] Thank you. 468 00:19:01,765 --> 00:19:04,726 [mellow funk music] 469 00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:09,523 ♪ ♪ 470 00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:11,817 Everyone is so staggeringly handsome, I kid you not. 471 00:19:11,900 --> 00:19:13,151 - They're so cute. 472 00:19:13,235 --> 00:19:15,279 Hi! [chuckles] 473 00:19:15,362 --> 00:19:18,156 Hey, you mingle. I'll go grab us some drinks. 474 00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:20,534 - Mingle? 475 00:19:20,617 --> 00:19:23,120 Uh... 476 00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:24,580 [clears throat] 477 00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:27,749 [indistinct chatter] 478 00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,752 Is that-- [clears throat] 479 00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,591 Motherfuck. 480 00:19:35,674 --> 00:19:38,343 - What's happening here? This chick gonna show? 481 00:19:38,427 --> 00:19:40,053 - Oh, yeah, yeah. No, she's gonna come. 482 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:42,598 I triple confirmed with her. She's just driving. 483 00:19:42,681 --> 00:19:44,391 You know, women. [chuckles] 484 00:19:44,474 --> 00:19:47,769 [rock music playing] 485 00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,022 - Cream and two sugars, sugar. 486 00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:56,737 ♪ ♪ 487 00:19:56,820 --> 00:19:59,698 - But if she doesn't show, I'll be happy to step in. 488 00:19:59,781 --> 00:20:03,327 I got a--I got a million stories, believe me. 489 00:20:03,410 --> 00:20:05,203 I taught her everything she knows. 490 00:20:05,287 --> 00:20:07,372 [chuckles] I'm a lot of fun. 491 00:20:12,419 --> 00:20:14,796 - Where's the mic? 492 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,798 - Go. Go. 493 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:18,300 [sighs] 494 00:20:18,383 --> 00:20:19,968 - You really think we're gonna be sitting here 495 00:20:20,052 --> 00:20:22,137 in 40 years talking about Goldie Hawn? 496 00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:25,307 - Not just her, her children. She's going to start an empire. 497 00:20:25,390 --> 00:20:26,850 - That's not a world I want to live in. 498 00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:29,019 - Hi, sorry, um, do any of you happen to drive 499 00:20:29,102 --> 00:20:30,270 a green and white pickup? 500 00:20:30,354 --> 00:20:32,940 [light music] 501 00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:34,858 Is that to a green and white pickup? 502 00:20:34,942 --> 00:20:36,860 - Blue Celica. You want? 503 00:20:39,780 --> 00:20:40,906 [snorts] 504 00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:45,702 ♪ ♪ 505 00:20:45,786 --> 00:20:48,163 - I hear I'm holding you hostage. 506 00:20:48,246 --> 00:20:50,624 Dreadfully sorry. 507 00:20:50,707 --> 00:20:53,335 - Mr. Hockney. - I'm always the last one here. 508 00:20:53,418 --> 00:20:55,504 End up trapping everybody else. 509 00:20:55,587 --> 00:20:57,839 That's the burden of my life. 510 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,716 And tell me who you are, then. 511 00:20:59,800 --> 00:21:01,802 I used to know everybody at Ed's parties, 512 00:21:01,885 --> 00:21:05,639 but seems like this town is just moving on without me. 513 00:21:05,722 --> 00:21:08,058 - Oh, well, I'm a nobody. [chuckles] 514 00:21:08,141 --> 00:21:10,018 I'm Richie. I shoot for "Minx." 515 00:21:10,102 --> 00:21:11,687 It's a magazine that-- - Oh, no, brilliant. 516 00:21:11,770 --> 00:21:13,063 I love "Minx." 517 00:21:13,146 --> 00:21:16,316 That second issue-- yeah, that was tops. 518 00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:18,026 - Oh, you've read it? - Yeah, well, 519 00:21:18,110 --> 00:21:20,737 all we get are these tortured physique poses. 520 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:24,074 Beefcakes on the boardwalk which, uh, 521 00:21:24,157 --> 00:21:26,368 with the right mood, I mean, why not? 522 00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:29,663 But you're giving us actual male desire. 523 00:21:29,746 --> 00:21:32,207 That's really something. [chuckles] 524 00:21:32,290 --> 00:21:33,917 - Thank you. 525 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,294 It's funny 'cause people have been ripping us to shreds, so-- 526 00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:39,131 - That's the price of being a pioneer, I suppose. 527 00:21:39,214 --> 00:21:41,925 Misunderstood by most. 528 00:21:42,009 --> 00:21:43,927 You'll get used to it. 529 00:21:45,887 --> 00:21:47,389 - And we're back! 530 00:21:47,472 --> 00:21:50,392 Well, there is a hot new magazine on the stands, 531 00:21:50,475 --> 00:21:52,811 and everyone seems to have an opinion about it. 532 00:21:52,894 --> 00:21:56,231 We're lucky enough to have the brains behind "Minx." 533 00:21:56,314 --> 00:21:59,484 It's a real lightning rod. - You got the rod part right. 534 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:01,737 [both laugh] - Please welcome 535 00:22:01,820 --> 00:22:05,032 the lady editor of "Minx," Joyce Prigger. 536 00:22:05,115 --> 00:22:06,742 - Just editor. Happy to be here. 537 00:22:06,825 --> 00:22:08,326 - Listeners, this may surprise you, 538 00:22:08,410 --> 00:22:10,912 but Joyce is quite the looker. 539 00:22:10,996 --> 00:22:13,415 You hear "feminist" and you think... 540 00:22:13,498 --> 00:22:16,418 [dog barking] [both laugh] 541 00:22:16,501 --> 00:22:18,754 - That's funny, you both look exactly like I imagined. 542 00:22:18,837 --> 00:22:20,255 both: Whoa! 543 00:22:20,338 --> 00:22:22,507 - So, Joyce, why do you hate men? 544 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:24,718 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, she doesn't hate men. 545 00:22:24,801 --> 00:22:27,095 You check out her mag? She loves us. 546 00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:28,513 - Eh, maybe not us, 547 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:30,599 but a little part that tickles her fancy. 548 00:22:30,682 --> 00:22:33,477 - To interject, I don't hate men at all. 549 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,812 But one thing I find curious about them 550 00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:37,606 is when they ask a woman a question 551 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:38,940 and then don't let her answer it. 552 00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,276 - Oh, no, I think we ticked her off 553 00:22:41,359 --> 00:22:42,611 right out of the gate, Willy. 554 00:22:42,694 --> 00:22:44,404 - Oh, we're just messing around. 555 00:22:44,488 --> 00:22:46,281 There's no reason to get your nose out of joint. 556 00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,950 - Another thing I love is when men try to tell me 557 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:50,577 how I should be feeling. 558 00:22:50,660 --> 00:22:52,370 "Minx" is not about hating men. 559 00:22:52,454 --> 00:22:54,456 It's about empowering women. 560 00:22:54,539 --> 00:22:56,041 Does that scare you, Willy? 561 00:22:56,124 --> 00:22:57,542 - Of course not. 562 00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,169 - Right, 'cause how could little ol' me 563 00:22:59,252 --> 00:23:01,129 scare a big man like you? 564 00:23:01,213 --> 00:23:03,673 Franco, on the other hand, should be terrified. 565 00:23:03,757 --> 00:23:05,634 [air horn blares] 566 00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:08,136 - Nancy, you don't have those privileges. 567 00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:10,639 - See, now that is what my magazine is all about. 568 00:23:10,722 --> 00:23:13,308 Men have had their finger on the button for a long time. 569 00:23:13,391 --> 00:23:15,936 - Well, that's my button, and she knows the rules. 570 00:23:16,019 --> 00:23:17,979 - We're not trying to take your button away, Willy. 571 00:23:18,063 --> 00:23:19,815 Women just want access to the button, 572 00:23:19,898 --> 00:23:21,942 or, failing that, we want our own button, 573 00:23:22,025 --> 00:23:24,861 one as loud and obnoxious as yours. 574 00:23:24,945 --> 00:23:27,322 - Oh, you're just off to a great start, toots. 575 00:23:27,405 --> 00:23:29,407 - I get it. I get it. I do. 576 00:23:29,491 --> 00:23:32,160 The thought of a female pornographer-- 577 00:23:32,244 --> 00:23:34,121 that makes people pretty uncomfortable. 578 00:23:34,204 --> 00:23:37,457 It made me uncomfortable, but I'm doing it anyway. 579 00:23:37,541 --> 00:23:41,211 And there is nothing that you can do to co-opt it 580 00:23:41,294 --> 00:23:45,048 or diminish it or take that away from me. 581 00:23:45,132 --> 00:23:46,508 Will, you look at porn, right? 582 00:23:46,591 --> 00:23:49,511 - That's between me and my-- yes. 583 00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:51,138 - Franco, I don't even need to ask. 584 00:23:51,221 --> 00:23:53,348 Male desire is celebrated. 585 00:23:53,431 --> 00:23:56,643 There is an entire industry built on servicing it. 586 00:23:56,726 --> 00:23:59,229 Why should female desire be any different? 587 00:23:59,312 --> 00:24:02,691 We got more nerve endings in our sex organs than you do. 588 00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:05,610 - No. Absolutely not! [engine turning over] 589 00:24:05,694 --> 00:24:10,615 - Men like you are really good at limiting women's options. 590 00:24:10,699 --> 00:24:14,870 Now maybe, just maybe, you guys are worried 591 00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:17,998 that my magazine can offer them something that you can't. 592 00:24:18,081 --> 00:24:21,626 - One thing I'm certain of is that Wanda Wilkerson 593 00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:24,004 is satisfied in the bedroom department. 594 00:24:24,087 --> 00:24:27,048 - Are you, though? - Never had a single complaint. 595 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:28,675 - And I'm sure that your marriages 596 00:24:28,758 --> 00:24:31,803 are built on openness and communication. 597 00:24:31,887 --> 00:24:33,889 - Actually, I'm single. - Shocker. 598 00:24:33,972 --> 00:24:36,474 But as a woman, let me let you in on a little secret. 599 00:24:36,558 --> 00:24:40,312 What she tells you and what's really happening 600 00:24:40,395 --> 00:24:42,355 may not be the same thing. 601 00:24:42,439 --> 00:24:44,608 [energetic music] 602 00:24:44,691 --> 00:24:46,234 I happen to know a woman who's been married 603 00:24:46,318 --> 00:24:49,154 for 16 years-- three kids, perfect life. 604 00:24:49,237 --> 00:24:51,781 But her husband has never been able to give her 605 00:24:51,865 --> 00:24:56,244 the fullest experience of lovemaking. 606 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,997 She has never said a peep about it, 607 00:24:59,080 --> 00:25:03,960 so he keeps flying blind thinking he's pleasuring her. 608 00:25:04,044 --> 00:25:07,088 [car horn honks] 609 00:25:07,172 --> 00:25:08,840 But I'm sure that things 610 00:25:08,924 --> 00:25:10,926 between you and Wanda are different. 611 00:25:11,009 --> 00:25:12,719 - We could give her a call after the break. 612 00:25:12,802 --> 00:25:14,262 Hear her side of the story. 613 00:25:14,346 --> 00:25:16,681 - Great idea, Nancy. 614 00:25:20,101 --> 00:25:21,645 [door opens] 615 00:25:21,728 --> 00:25:28,818 ♪ ♪ 616 00:25:32,822 --> 00:25:35,116 [bell clangs] 617 00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:37,786 - [chuckles] How much to get one of these in platinum? 618 00:25:37,869 --> 00:25:40,580 - We sold out everywhere. - Word travels fast. 619 00:25:40,664 --> 00:25:42,332 - Dick Cavett's talent booker told me 620 00:25:42,415 --> 00:25:44,960 when she called to check Joyce's availability. 621 00:25:45,043 --> 00:25:47,671 - No. "The Dick Cavett Show"? 622 00:25:47,754 --> 00:25:49,089 In New York fuckin' City? 623 00:25:49,172 --> 00:25:52,259 [both laughing] 624 00:25:53,885 --> 00:25:55,887 How is your news better than my news? 625 00:25:55,971 --> 00:25:57,889 This is annoying. I had great news. 626 00:25:57,973 --> 00:25:59,266 - You'll get over it. 627 00:25:59,349 --> 00:26:01,518 - All right, I need to hear it. 628 00:26:01,601 --> 00:26:04,312 - Seriously? - Yeah, I'm a petty man. 629 00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:05,772 I want to hear it. 630 00:26:05,855 --> 00:26:08,191 All right, maybe I'll make it easier for you. 631 00:26:09,567 --> 00:26:11,945 You were right too. 632 00:26:12,028 --> 00:26:14,948 I was irresponsible, I was in over my head, I... 633 00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:18,034 I went a little nuts. 634 00:26:19,369 --> 00:26:21,246 And then I got lucky. 635 00:26:23,999 --> 00:26:25,542 [chuckles] 636 00:26:28,003 --> 00:26:29,170 - Thank you. 637 00:26:29,254 --> 00:26:31,089 - And? 638 00:26:35,385 --> 00:26:37,095 - [whispering] You were right. 639 00:26:37,178 --> 00:26:40,223 - [sighs] 640 00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:44,060 - ♪ My baby's a natural beauty ♪ 641 00:26:44,144 --> 00:26:45,520 ♪ Yeah ♪ 642 00:26:45,603 --> 00:26:49,357 ♪ I said my baby's a natural beauty ♪ 643 00:26:49,441 --> 00:26:50,942 ♪ Oh, yeah ♪ 644 00:26:51,026 --> 00:26:54,779 ♪ She's a natural beauty ♪ 645 00:26:54,863 --> 00:26:57,699 ♪ Aww ♪ 646 00:26:57,782 --> 00:27:00,618 - The penis is completely out of proportion to the original. 647 00:27:00,702 --> 00:27:02,370 - Yeah, it was a whole thing. - Yes, we know. 648 00:27:02,454 --> 00:27:03,997 - I hope no one's got anywhere to be, 649 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:07,042 because I just blocked in about five people. 650 00:27:07,125 --> 00:27:08,293 [laughter] 651 00:27:08,376 --> 00:27:10,045 - Well, now they have a reason to stay. 652 00:27:10,128 --> 00:27:12,172 Hey, everyone, this is Joyce. 653 00:27:12,255 --> 00:27:14,299 The minx behind "Minx." 654 00:27:14,382 --> 00:27:16,509 [both chuckle] 655 00:27:19,804 --> 00:27:22,349 - God save the queen of dicks. 656 00:27:22,432 --> 00:27:24,934 [cheers and applause] 657 00:27:25,018 --> 00:27:28,063 [The Intruders' "She's A Winner"] 658 00:27:28,146 --> 00:27:34,611 ♪ ♪ 659 00:27:34,694 --> 00:27:38,365 - ♪ Win, place or show ♪ 660 00:27:38,448 --> 00:27:41,326 ♪ She's number one at my door ♪ 661 00:27:41,409 --> 00:27:46,873 ♪ My baby, she's a winner ♪ 662 00:27:46,956 --> 00:27:48,666 ♪ Stone, very braid ♪ 663 00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:50,710 ♪ Got a lot of brains in her head ♪ 664 00:27:50,794 --> 00:27:52,504 ♪ She's got a lot of style ♪ 665 00:27:52,587 --> 00:27:54,547 ♪ She makes my life worthwhile ♪ 666 00:27:54,631 --> 00:27:58,301 ♪ Personality, oh, she's the girl for me ♪ 667 00:27:58,385 --> 00:28:00,345 ♪ Sometimes she's out of line ♪ 668 00:28:00,428 --> 00:28:02,138 ♪ But I'd give her my last dime ♪ 669 00:28:02,222 --> 00:28:05,892 ♪ Win, place or show ♪ 670 00:28:05,975 --> 00:28:08,728 ♪ She's number one at my door ♪ 671 00:28:08,812 --> 00:28:13,775 ♪ My baby, she's a winner ♪ 672 00:28:13,858 --> 00:28:17,779 ♪ Win, place or show ♪ - ♪ Win, place or show ♪ 673 00:28:17,862 --> 00:28:20,615 - ♪ She's number one at my door ♪ 674 00:28:20,698 --> 00:28:22,951 ♪ My baby, she's a winner ♪ 675 00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:26,246 - ♪ She's a winner ♪ 676 00:28:26,329 --> 00:28:30,083 ♪ Running with me, nobody could compare ♪ 677 00:28:30,166 --> 00:28:31,918 ♪ She's choice greatly beef ♪ 678 00:28:32,001 --> 00:28:34,212 ♪ A love oh, so sweet ♪ 679 00:28:34,295 --> 00:28:37,674 ♪ Understanding too, that's why she never loose ♪ 680 00:28:37,757 --> 00:28:41,636 ♪ So different from the rest, that's why she's the best ♪ 681 00:28:41,719 --> 00:28:45,432 ♪ Win, place or show ♪ - ♪ Win, place or show ♪ 682 00:28:45,515 --> 00:28:48,309 - ♪ She's number one at my door ♪ 683 00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:53,565 ♪ My baby, she's a winner ♪