1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:07,340 rrealEstate. 2 00:00:09,176 --> 00:00:12,136 -Thank you for making my world so much bigger. 3 00:00:12,262 --> 00:00:13,812 -Hey! Luke. 4 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,061 I got my license today. 5 00:00:16,183 --> 00:00:17,813 -Well, that’s great! Congratulations. 6 00:00:17,935 --> 00:00:19,815 -House, unlock the door! 7 00:00:20,354 --> 00:00:21,944 House! 8 00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:23,654 [scream] 9 00:00:23,774 --> 00:00:25,694 Luke, if you could still do what you used to do, 10 00:00:25,817 --> 00:00:27,397 we wouldn’t be here. 11 00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,148 -I’m always telling you to find a better work-life balance. 12 00:00:29,279 --> 00:00:30,739 -This isn’t about balance. This is about 13 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:32,874 getting out of here and reassessing my life. 14 00:00:34,201 --> 00:00:35,741 [opening theme fades out] 15 00:00:37,538 --> 00:00:38,998 [creepy score] 16 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:40,582 [animal hooting] 17 00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,377 [laughs] 18 00:00:42,501 --> 00:00:45,751 -You have to relax. I’m just taking the shortcut. 19 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:48,507 [dramatic boom] 20 00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,682 Nah, it’s perfectly fine. 21 00:00:51,510 --> 00:00:53,680 The biggest thing in these woods is a raccoon. 22 00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:58,353 There’s no bears or wolves. 23 00:00:59,935 --> 00:01:03,315 No, all the chainsaw murderers are still at camp. 24 00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,732 What’re you even-- Hang on. 25 00:01:10,737 --> 00:01:12,197 Nothing. 26 00:01:12,322 --> 00:01:14,072 [branches breaking] 27 00:01:18,620 --> 00:01:21,750 Look, I’ll be home in ten or so. Okay, bye. 28 00:01:23,875 --> 00:01:25,415 [indistinct woman’s voice echoing] 29 00:01:27,629 --> 00:01:29,089 Hello? 30 00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,764 [indistinct woman’s voice echoing] 31 00:01:36,722 --> 00:01:38,352 [indistinct woman’s voice echoing] 32 00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:53,068 [opening theme] 33 00:01:55,657 --> 00:01:57,117 -[dramatic boom] -[grunt] 34 00:01:57,242 --> 00:01:58,792 [screaming] 35 00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:07,457 [man screaming] 36 00:02:08,587 --> 00:02:10,127 [gentle piano music playing] 37 00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,055 [sighing] 38 00:02:13,175 --> 00:02:14,725 -Mm... 39 00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:21,222 House, call the condescending, unappreciative jerk. 40 00:02:21,350 --> 00:02:22,930 -Calling Luke Roman. -[line trilling] 41 00:02:23,060 --> 00:02:25,190 -Don’t pick up. Voicemail, voicemail, voicemail. 42 00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,982 [piano music fades out] 43 00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:29,114 -You’ve reached Luke Roman. I’m sorry I missed your call. 44 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:30,784 -Please leave a message. -[answering machine tone] 45 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:33,945 -Luke! Oh, darn. I was hoping to talk to you. 46 00:02:34,071 --> 00:02:36,281 I just wanted to let you know that I’m going to need 47 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,196 a few more days away from the office. 48 00:02:38,325 --> 00:02:39,915 I’ll be sending you the contracts 49 00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:41,745 on Bouvier, Santos and Padgett. 50 00:02:41,870 --> 00:02:44,330 They’re easy closings, clean titles, approved loans, 51 00:02:44,456 --> 00:02:46,036 you won’t have any problems. 52 00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:47,746 The Dunn-Herberts are doing their usual dance. 53 00:02:47,876 --> 00:02:50,126 It’s probably a good teaching moment for Zooey. 54 00:02:50,253 --> 00:02:53,423 I’m dealing with some personal business, 55 00:02:53,548 --> 00:02:56,428 so I’m not sure when I’ll be back in the office, 56 00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:58,721 but seeing as nothing ever changes 57 00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,595 at the perfect Roman Agency, 58 00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:02,932 I’m sure you have everything well in hand. 59 00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:04,518 -Toodles. -[call disconnecting beeps] 60 00:03:04,643 --> 00:03:06,193 [giggling] 61 00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:08,480 Hm. 62 00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:10,185 The "toodles" was a bit much. 63 00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,480 -[House] It was a nice touch. Cordial, yet dismissive. 64 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,400 -Yeah. That’s what I was going for. 65 00:03:15,987 --> 00:03:17,527 -Would you like some tea? 66 00:03:18,073 --> 00:03:19,703 -Yes. 67 00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:21,455 -Yes, I would. -[device chimes] 68 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,036 [piano music playing] 69 00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:24,701 [contented sigh] 70 00:03:25,956 --> 00:03:27,496 [leaves rustling] 71 00:03:30,001 --> 00:03:31,841 -Toodles? -[gentle score] 72 00:03:31,962 --> 00:03:33,422 -It’s a hell of a house. 73 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,257 -Yeah, built in 1893, historic, solid. 74 00:03:36,383 --> 00:03:39,013 -Can’t wait to bulldoze it. -Well, you need to buy it first. 75 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:40,676 It’s only polite. 76 00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:44,472 As you can see, the property line starts here. 77 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,269 The creek is on your side. Plenty of room to-- 78 00:03:46,393 --> 00:03:47,853 -What’s that? -Well, that is the lot 79 00:03:47,978 --> 00:03:50,058 next to yours. It’s just a small place, barely a cottage. 80 00:03:50,188 --> 00:03:51,728 -How much? -I... 81 00:03:52,315 --> 00:03:54,105 I don’t know if it’s listed for sale. 82 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,904 -If I own that lot, 83 00:03:56,027 --> 00:03:57,857 I don’t need to worry about the easements. 84 00:03:57,988 --> 00:04:00,238 I could build the pool area over here 85 00:04:00,365 --> 00:04:01,815 and put the tennis court over here. 86 00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:03,660 And the guest house could be way over here, 87 00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,245 so I’d hardly ever need to interact 88 00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:06,910 with visiting relatives. 89 00:04:07,539 --> 00:04:08,999 -I don’t even know if you’d see them. 90 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,674 -Oh, yeah! 91 00:04:14,379 --> 00:04:15,839 -We’ll reach out and get a price. 92 00:04:15,964 --> 00:04:18,804 -Don’t worry about the price. Buy it. 93 00:04:19,342 --> 00:04:21,012 -Maybe we should close on this property first, 94 00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:22,466 you know, get the ball rolling. 95 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:25,216 -We’re going to do both deals at once. 96 00:04:25,348 --> 00:04:26,848 I could never enjoy this lot 97 00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,515 knowing that I can’t have that lot. 98 00:04:28,643 --> 00:04:30,233 That’s just me. 99 00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,273 All or nothing. 100 00:04:32,397 --> 00:04:33,817 I’m gonna call my architect. 101 00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,480 [birds chirping] 102 00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,110 [gentle score continues] 103 00:04:51,750 --> 00:04:53,290 [darker score] 104 00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:45,894 [high-pitched eerie tone] 105 00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,725 [eerie score] 106 00:05:56,523 --> 00:05:58,073 [knocking on door] 107 00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,112 [dramatic boom] 108 00:06:37,981 --> 00:06:39,441 -The house and underlying dirt 109 00:06:39,566 --> 00:06:41,146 are owned by an offshore holding company. 110 00:06:41,276 --> 00:06:43,186 The only point of contact is a law firm in Budapest. 111 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,700 -Swell. 112 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,201 -I reached out and left a message. 113 00:06:46,323 --> 00:06:47,703 -Yeah, we’re not liking the odds 114 00:06:47,824 --> 00:06:49,534 that we’re going to hear back anytime soon. 115 00:06:49,659 --> 00:06:51,579 -So, we have one sale contingent on two properties. 116 00:06:51,703 --> 00:06:53,703 This cabin in the woods is creating more drama than the 117 00:06:53,830 --> 00:06:56,420 -million dollar property. -Mm-hm. Life is funny. 118 00:06:56,541 --> 00:06:58,501 -You know, I could have sworn there was something 119 00:06:58,627 --> 00:07:00,707 in that house, watching me. 120 00:07:00,837 --> 00:07:02,837 -You think maybe it was your, um... 121 00:07:03,506 --> 00:07:04,966 your mojo coming back? 122 00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:07,681 -Ah! Maybe it’s growing back, like a starfish leg. 123 00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:10,262 -No. Just old-fashioned paranoia. 124 00:07:10,388 --> 00:07:11,848 You all set for today? 125 00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:13,603 -Mm-hm. -What’s today? 126 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,525 -I am taking my first couple to look at houses. 127 00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:18,775 Susan’s taking her personal days and I am covering. 128 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:22,277 -Aw. Who’s the victim? I mean, who’s the client? 129 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:24,240 -[mocking] Aw, who’s the victim. 130 00:07:24,361 --> 00:07:26,611 The Dunn-Herberts. Lara and Freya. 131 00:07:26,738 --> 00:07:28,198 [laughing] 132 00:07:28,323 --> 00:07:29,873 [mischievous score] 133 00:07:31,910 --> 00:07:33,370 What? 134 00:07:34,955 --> 00:07:36,045 -[Luke] The Dunn-Herberts are our locally sourced 135 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,794 organic vegan lookie-loos. 136 00:07:37,916 --> 00:07:39,416 -[Phil] They shop, 137 00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:42,212 they kvetch and they never buy. 138 00:07:42,337 --> 00:07:43,797 [score ends] 139 00:07:43,922 --> 00:07:45,472 Have fun. 140 00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,515 -Great. [shuddering sigh] 141 00:07:48,635 --> 00:07:51,305 [dramatic booms] 142 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:53,969 Oh, my God. You did not do them justice. 143 00:07:54,099 --> 00:07:56,679 This is like an Oscar Wilde play about mistaken identity. 144 00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,520 They’re pretending to shop for a house 145 00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:01,115 and I’m pretending this isn’t a complete waste of my time. 146 00:08:01,231 --> 00:08:03,111 -Well, Susan felt the same way. - When? 147 00:08:03,233 --> 00:08:04,983 -Did you talk to her? -Naw, 148 00:08:05,110 --> 00:08:06,570 this was the last time Lara and Freya 149 00:08:06,695 --> 00:08:08,325 took her for a spin. 150 00:08:09,656 --> 00:08:11,446 -Don’t you think maybe you should check in? 151 00:08:11,574 --> 00:08:13,124 -With Susan? 152 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,287 I’ll see her at the charity bowling thing this weekend. 153 00:08:16,413 --> 00:08:18,123 -Oh, right? 154 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,998 That’s, like, mandatory, right? 155 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:22,135 -You’re an agent now. It’s part of the deal. 156 00:08:22,252 --> 00:08:24,382 -Yeah, just testing the fence for weak spots. 157 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,424 Like a velociraptor. 158 00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,798 -Anything back from the lawyers in Budapest? 159 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,755 -It’s been, like, half a day. I don’t want to be a ’pesht’. 160 00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,886 -Oh, I see what you did there. -[elevator arriving chime] 161 00:08:34,014 --> 00:08:36,434 -[Zooey laughs, sighs] -I kill me. 162 00:08:36,558 --> 00:08:38,228 [mischievous score] 163 00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,151 -Oops. I gotta go be a receptionist. 164 00:08:42,188 --> 00:08:43,808 Bye. 165 00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:46,485 -So... 166 00:08:46,609 --> 00:08:48,149 how much do we love it? 167 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:58,868 -May I help you? 168 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,331 -"Please call me. 169 00:09:03,835 --> 00:09:05,885 You’re about to win the lottery." 170 00:09:06,004 --> 00:09:07,514 -Oh! 171 00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:09,590 You are the cabin in the woods! 172 00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:12,006 -I live in the house in the woods. 173 00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,765 And I don’t play the lottery. 174 00:09:16,222 --> 00:09:17,682 -I was being a little clever. 175 00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,557 -Very little. 176 00:09:21,644 --> 00:09:23,734 -Could we, uh, go in here and talk? 177 00:09:25,356 --> 00:09:27,016 -Now, why would we do that? 178 00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:31,401 -Well, if you leave, you’ll never know. 179 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,124 [mischievous score continues] 180 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,000 -[buzzing from speaker] -[score fades out] 181 00:09:47,837 --> 00:09:49,297 [buzzing] 182 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:52,172 -This all looks so... science-y. 183 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:54,720 -Hm. Vic Tandy, 184 00:09:55,386 --> 00:09:58,176 a British engineer with an interest in the occult, 185 00:09:58,306 --> 00:10:03,596 experimented with infrasound, or low frequency sound. 186 00:10:04,354 --> 00:10:07,614 Less than 20hz. 18.5 to be exact. 187 00:10:08,358 --> 00:10:10,648 Some called it the spirit frequency. 188 00:10:11,861 --> 00:10:13,491 -[gentle score] -How’s it work? 189 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:16,823 -Well, he theorized that sending vibrations out at that frequency 190 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,240 might start a dialogue with... 191 00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:21,159 God knows what. 192 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:25,577 So, this disk can be used like a cochlear implant: 193 00:10:25,708 --> 00:10:27,288 if something extra-normal reaches out 194 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,298 it should vibrate your cochlear nerve. 195 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,340 -And start a dialogue. 196 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,723 So, if Luke wears this thing, 197 00:10:34,926 --> 00:10:36,546 he’ll have his Luke tingle back? 198 00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:39,139 -Well, I’m not certain 199 00:10:39,264 --> 00:10:41,564 that it will enable him to communicate verbally, 200 00:10:41,683 --> 00:10:44,643 but it should enable a certain... intuition. 201 00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:47,059 -Mm. -The sense of a presence. 202 00:10:48,064 --> 00:10:49,614 [sharp inhale] 203 00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,491 Can we agree to never use the term 204 00:10:53,153 --> 00:10:55,243 "Luke tingle" again? 205 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:59,621 -Yeah, let’s. Mind if I take it for a test drive? 206 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,292 -Be my guest. 207 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,381 [high-pitched buzzing] 208 00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:15,086 -Kinda tingly. 209 00:11:17,260 --> 00:11:19,760 -[cacophony] -Ow! Damn! 210 00:11:19,888 --> 00:11:21,348 -Wait, what’s wrong? -Oh! 211 00:11:21,472 --> 00:11:25,312 It went batshit crazy, like an explosion of noises. 212 00:11:25,852 --> 00:11:27,732 -Really? 213 00:11:28,354 --> 00:11:30,024 -Ohh! 214 00:11:30,148 --> 00:11:31,608 Oh, whoa. 215 00:11:31,733 --> 00:11:34,193 -So, that is what we are looking at. 216 00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:35,899 -Hm. -[score fades out] 217 00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,989 Your running dog capitalist lackey 218 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:41,284 wants to buy my idyllic cottage in the pastoral woods 219 00:11:41,409 --> 00:11:45,079 and tear it down for his tennis courts. 220 00:11:45,205 --> 00:11:47,835 -Well, don’t forget about the pool and the guest house. 221 00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,877 -Yes. His desire to avoid his relatives is so far 222 00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,212 the only endearing thing about him. 223 00:11:53,338 --> 00:11:54,878 [both laugh] 224 00:11:55,882 --> 00:11:57,592 -Um, so, uh... 225 00:11:58,176 --> 00:11:59,636 [intriguing score] 226 00:11:59,761 --> 00:12:01,301 what do you say? 227 00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:06,267 -No. 228 00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:08,522 -Kay. Kay? 229 00:12:08,645 --> 00:12:10,195 Kay. [clears throat] 230 00:12:11,773 --> 00:12:14,023 I’m going to go way out here on a limb ethically 231 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,240 and confide in you that my client has way more 232 00:12:16,361 --> 00:12:19,071 money than sense. He will overpay for your property 233 00:12:19,197 --> 00:12:21,197 to an alarming degree. 234 00:12:21,324 --> 00:12:23,034 -Oh. 235 00:12:23,159 --> 00:12:24,699 Lucky, lucky me. 236 00:12:33,044 --> 00:12:34,844 -You didn’t have to come here. 237 00:12:36,005 --> 00:12:38,665 All I did was drop off a not-so-clever business card. 238 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:40,630 You could have let it go, but you didn’t. 239 00:12:41,636 --> 00:12:43,096 -Fair enough. 240 00:12:43,221 --> 00:12:44,851 -Well, we could talk about this over... 241 00:12:45,473 --> 00:12:47,813 I don’t know... dinner? 242 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,939 -I do have to eat. Occasionally. 243 00:12:53,064 --> 00:12:55,654 -How about tonight? I could-- -I have plans tonight. 244 00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:57,355 -Tomorrow? 245 00:12:57,485 --> 00:12:59,025 [both chuckle] 246 00:13:00,571 --> 00:13:03,821 -My nights are full and rich, 247 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,700 so I like to eat early. 248 00:13:06,786 --> 00:13:08,326 Maybe Friday? 249 00:13:09,706 --> 00:13:12,326 Pick me up at my priceless house around seven. 250 00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,086 -Okay. 251 00:13:15,211 --> 00:13:16,841 -[elevator arriving chime] -[doors open] 252 00:13:19,632 --> 00:13:21,182 -Hm. -[August] Who was that? 253 00:13:24,512 --> 00:13:26,062 Luke? 254 00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:28,725 -Oh, just a homeowner. 255 00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,102 -I think you need to watch her. 256 00:13:34,814 --> 00:13:36,484 Closely. 257 00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:38,067 -That’s my plan. 258 00:13:38,192 --> 00:13:39,782 [score crescendos, fades out] 259 00:13:43,906 --> 00:13:45,366 [coyotes howling] 260 00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,541 -I think you’re being a hamster. 261 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,290 -Just because I won’t lie for you? 262 00:13:49,412 --> 00:13:51,712 -It’s hardly even a lie! If my mom calls, 263 00:13:51,831 --> 00:13:53,621 just tell her I’m staying with you that night! 264 00:13:53,750 --> 00:13:55,460 I’ve stayed at your place lots of times! 265 00:13:55,585 --> 00:13:57,215 -And what if she wants to speak to you? 266 00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,337 -Then tell her I’m... I’m in the shower! 267 00:14:00,465 --> 00:14:03,225 Or I’m out by the pool giving cardiac massage 268 00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:04,803 to a drowning nun! 269 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:08,137 -Dude, work with me! -[ominous score] 270 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:10,224 -If my parents find out, there’s gonna be trouble. 271 00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,890 They already don’t like-- 272 00:14:13,186 --> 00:14:14,976 Bruno? 273 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:20,992 Bruno? 274 00:14:25,031 --> 00:14:26,911 Come on, Bru, quit screwing around! 275 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:38,460 Very funny. C’mon, let’s-- 276 00:14:39,128 --> 00:14:40,708 [unintelligible talking] 277 00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:46,225 [screaming] 278 00:14:50,264 --> 00:14:51,814 Bruno! 279 00:14:57,146 --> 00:14:58,726 [elevator arriving chime] 280 00:14:58,856 --> 00:15:00,566 -[ominous score fades out] -[mischievous score fads in] 281 00:15:00,691 --> 00:15:02,441 -Well, she said no. But in real estate, 282 00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:04,858 "no" is where we start not where we end. 283 00:15:04,987 --> 00:15:07,617 -I’m sure that looks great on a motivational poster 284 00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,580 but it only pisses me off. 285 00:15:10,243 --> 00:15:11,793 -Listen, I’m having dinner 286 00:15:11,911 --> 00:15:13,371 with the homeowner on Friday night, so... 287 00:15:13,496 --> 00:15:14,996 -Well, that’s great, Luke. 288 00:15:15,123 --> 00:15:17,253 Take her out to dinner, order some wine. 289 00:15:17,375 --> 00:15:18,925 Hell, sleep with her if you have to, 290 00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:20,633 but get me that property. 291 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,343 -I’ll do my best. 292 00:15:22,463 --> 00:15:24,133 [mischievous score fades out] 293 00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,927 -[news announcer] ...and the recent disappearance 294 00:15:26,050 --> 00:15:28,590 to a tragic incident two and half years ago 295 00:15:28,719 --> 00:15:31,009 when the bodies of four teens were found 296 00:15:31,139 --> 00:15:32,889 -completely drained of blood. -[door opening] 297 00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,515 Police sources have neither-- 298 00:15:34,642 --> 00:15:36,272 -[mischievous score] -Ladies! 299 00:15:36,394 --> 00:15:37,944 -Hi! 300 00:15:38,062 --> 00:15:40,522 -Tantalize me, Zooey. What are we going to see today? 301 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,318 -Tantalize me, Freya. 302 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,652 Is there a world in which you two actually buy something? 303 00:15:46,863 --> 00:15:48,323 You do know that real estate agents 304 00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,908 only make money off of sales 305 00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,242 and wasting an agent’s time if you have 306 00:15:52,368 --> 00:15:55,248 zero intention of buying is the moral equivalent of -- 307 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:57,921 I don’t know -- robbing a liquor store? 308 00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:01,340 -I hope we find something... perfect. 309 00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:03,131 -Something to die for. 310 00:16:03,254 --> 00:16:05,634 -I hope we fall in love at first sight. 311 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:09,007 -I hope we find something so perfect 312 00:16:09,135 --> 00:16:11,355 that my checkbook leaps out of my purse 313 00:16:11,471 --> 00:16:13,221 and writes an earnest money deposit 314 00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:15,267 before I can stop it! 315 00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:16,931 -But probably not. 316 00:16:17,852 --> 00:16:19,772 -No. 317 00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:24,935 -[exhales] It’s okay. 318 00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:26,687 [score fades out] 319 00:16:28,446 --> 00:16:28,736 -[Luke] Miranda, our client is willing to drop 15 grand 320 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:30,319 off the price to repair the roof 321 00:16:31,532 --> 00:16:32,162 but there’s nothing wrong with the floors. 322 00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:33,913 Of course! 323 00:16:34,035 --> 00:16:36,705 And your people are welcome to carpet over it when it’s theirs! 324 00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,156 It’s unreasonable to expect us to pay for them. 325 00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:42,171 No, no, no, no, no. Those maple floors are gorgeous. 326 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:44,133 Carpeting over them would be an act of vandalism. 327 00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:46,423 We’re not going to subsidize their bad choices. 328 00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,377 Tell them about the 15 grand for the roof and then 329 00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,258 tell them horror stories about dust mites and mold. 330 00:16:51,385 --> 00:16:53,595 Scare their children and then call me back. 331 00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,261 Okay, bye. 332 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:59,234 -When there was only one set of footprints in the carpet, 333 00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,402 that’s when you were carrying me. 334 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:03,940 -What’s up? 335 00:17:05,107 --> 00:17:07,397 -Tell me about that client who was in yesterday. 336 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,357 -Not really a client. She owns one of the properties 337 00:17:09,487 --> 00:17:10,947 Erik Toft wants to buy. 338 00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,372 -What do you know about her? -Not much. 339 00:17:13,491 --> 00:17:15,581 Kay Bozer. She got an edge to her. 340 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,620 No bullshit. 341 00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,405 Kind of refreshing. 342 00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,714 -When she was in the office, she... 343 00:17:22,250 --> 00:17:24,630 affected one of my devices. 344 00:17:24,752 --> 00:17:26,212 [gentle score] 345 00:17:26,337 --> 00:17:27,797 -What do you mean? 346 00:17:27,922 --> 00:17:29,842 -It operates at a certain frequency 347 00:17:29,966 --> 00:17:33,046 that is sensitive to certain phenomena. 348 00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:35,144 It could be a coincidence, but... 349 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:38,641 the device operated properly again the moment she left. 350 00:17:40,184 --> 00:17:42,484 Will you be, uh, seeing the lady again? 351 00:17:43,813 --> 00:17:46,193 -We’re having dinner Friday, as a matter of fact. 352 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,321 Kinda hit it off. [chuckles] 353 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,903 -So it’s, uh... 354 00:17:51,028 --> 00:17:54,238 not an insidious plan to get her to sell? 355 00:17:54,365 --> 00:17:56,745 -No, my insidious plan was to have a nice dinner 356 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,327 with an interesting lady. 357 00:17:58,452 --> 00:18:00,622 My first since Megan, in fact. 358 00:18:01,998 --> 00:18:05,998 -Would you, uh, be open to trying a sort of experiment? 359 00:18:08,546 --> 00:18:10,796 This device is really quite subtle. 360 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,673 You wear it behind your ear. 361 00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:14,640 -She won’t even see that-- -I don’t think so... 362 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,260 -Luke, it’s science. 363 00:18:16,387 --> 00:18:18,307 -No! It’s a dinner date with a nice lady. 364 00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,891 -A nice lady 365 00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:23,226 who might just vibrate at 18.5 hertz. 366 00:18:25,980 --> 00:18:27,520 [sucks teeth] -Let me see it. 367 00:18:39,327 --> 00:18:41,407 -See? No big thing. 368 00:18:42,371 --> 00:18:43,831 -I don’t know. Feels creepy wearing a 369 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,376 metaphysical nicotine patch on our first date. 370 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:48,750 -Science is often creepy. 371 00:18:49,420 --> 00:18:52,130 But, if it isn’t activated, she’ll never know. 372 00:18:52,256 --> 00:18:54,876 -And if it is? -Run away. 373 00:18:55,968 --> 00:18:57,508 Run like hell. 374 00:18:58,095 --> 00:18:59,555 As fast as you can. 375 00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,220 [score crescendos, fades out] 376 00:19:06,771 --> 00:19:08,361 [Zooey sighs] 377 00:19:09,273 --> 00:19:10,693 Ah! You’re back. 378 00:19:10,816 --> 00:19:12,986 -Oh-ho. [chuckles] 379 00:19:13,110 --> 00:19:16,030 They are killing me, Augie. 380 00:19:16,155 --> 00:19:19,025 Not only are they draining me of my will to sell real estate, 381 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,078 they are draining me of my will to live. 382 00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:22,702 [August chuckles] 383 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:26,248 -You should talk to Luke. Just, uh, not right now. 384 00:19:26,374 --> 00:19:27,924 -Why? 385 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:30,712 -It seems that, uh, one of Susan’s clients 386 00:19:30,836 --> 00:19:34,716 is involved in a transaction with one of Rita’s clients 387 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:38,430 and Rita is unhappy about Susan’s extended sabbatical. 388 00:19:38,552 --> 00:19:41,722 -Rita Weiss: America’s real estate sweetheart. 389 00:19:41,847 --> 00:19:43,717 So, what else is happening in the real world? 390 00:19:43,849 --> 00:19:45,349 -Well, let’s see... 391 00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:49,346 Uh, Luke is still trying to close the Toft deals. 392 00:19:49,980 --> 00:19:53,070 He has developed a post-professional interest 393 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:55,532 in the woman who owns the adjacent property. 394 00:19:55,653 --> 00:19:57,073 My spirit frequency device was-- 395 00:19:57,196 --> 00:19:58,696 -Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! 396 00:19:58,823 --> 00:20:01,123 Did you just say post-professional? 397 00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,742 He’s hot for her? 398 00:20:02,868 --> 00:20:05,538 -Your words, not mine. 399 00:20:05,663 --> 00:20:10,043 -Oh, my God! That’ll teach me to leave the office, like, ever! 400 00:20:10,167 --> 00:20:11,587 Who is she? What is she like? 401 00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,211 -We haven’t met. 402 00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,917 But she, uh... 403 00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:16,547 set off my device. 404 00:20:16,674 --> 00:20:18,264 [giggles] 405 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,264 -Apparently she did the same for Luke. 406 00:20:22,513 --> 00:20:25,063 [laughs] [sighs at her own cleverness] 407 00:20:26,016 --> 00:20:27,426 [sighs] 408 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,100 [score fades out] 409 00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,652 -So, Luke tells me you’re a licensed agent now. 410 00:20:35,776 --> 00:20:37,316 Congratulations. 411 00:20:37,903 --> 00:20:39,403 -Thank you. 412 00:20:39,530 --> 00:20:41,070 -Hm. -[mischievous score] 413 00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:43,617 You know, I always liked you, Zooey. 414 00:20:44,535 --> 00:20:47,295 You strike me as an oasis of pragmatism 415 00:20:48,038 --> 00:20:49,958 in a place obsessed with fantasy, 416 00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:53,342 like the last personal injury attorney in a 417 00:20:53,461 --> 00:20:55,341 hastily assembled amusement park. 418 00:20:56,881 --> 00:20:58,591 May I give you a piece of advice? 419 00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,256 -I guess so. 420 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,644 -Always give the client 421 00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:04,182 what they need. 422 00:21:04,305 --> 00:21:06,315 Not what they want. 423 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:07,982 -Yeah? Hm. 424 00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:09,640 -Do you know what I used to be? 425 00:21:10,519 --> 00:21:12,479 I got my masters in philosophy. 426 00:21:13,397 --> 00:21:15,817 Oh, yes. I focused on Kierkegaard. 427 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:18,821 The aesthetic, the ethical and the religious. 428 00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:20,704 Well, you can imagine how 429 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,701 gracefully that interacted with a career in real estate. 430 00:21:24,408 --> 00:21:25,828 Zero sales. 431 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:28,951 -So, what did you do? -So I shifted gears. 432 00:21:29,079 --> 00:21:31,539 I focused on the primacy of the individual 433 00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:34,705 and of individual concerns above any abstract reality 434 00:21:34,835 --> 00:21:36,705 or grand metaphysical system. 435 00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:40,506 Still couldn’t sell a salmon to a grizzly bear. 436 00:21:40,633 --> 00:21:42,303 -This is all great stuff, 437 00:21:42,426 --> 00:21:44,176 but what am I supposed to do with any of it? 438 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,853 -I realized that I was vastly overthinking the whole thing 439 00:21:47,973 --> 00:21:51,523 and that my clients were ignorant doorknobs 440 00:21:51,644 --> 00:21:54,524 incapable of articulating their own desires. 441 00:21:55,272 --> 00:21:57,022 So, I looked at their lifestyles 442 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,899 and I showed them corresponding inventory. 443 00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:03,237 I focused on what they deeply needed, 444 00:22:03,364 --> 00:22:05,534 not what they said they wanted 445 00:22:05,658 --> 00:22:07,408 because seldom are they the same thing. 446 00:22:07,535 --> 00:22:09,375 -Preach! -Mm. 447 00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:13,715 The moment I fully embraced my intellectual authority 448 00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,333 and saw my clients 449 00:22:15,459 --> 00:22:17,919 as the low-level primates that they are 450 00:22:18,629 --> 00:22:21,009 my business tripled overnight. 451 00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:23,431 I was able to pay off my student loans, 452 00:22:23,551 --> 00:22:26,091 buy a Cadillac Escalade... 453 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:28,386 and divorce my husband. 454 00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,434 -So sad. 455 00:22:31,809 --> 00:22:33,519 Yet inspiring. 456 00:22:34,144 --> 00:22:35,734 -Well, that’s the big secret. 457 00:22:35,855 --> 00:22:38,405 You are smarter than your clients. 458 00:22:41,151 --> 00:22:42,741 -I totally am! 459 00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:47,071 -Oh, you might want to pass it along to Captain Goodhair. 460 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:50,739 He still seems to think that clients deserve our respect. 461 00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:53,120 -[both laughing] -That’s adorable. 462 00:22:53,247 --> 00:22:54,787 [both laughing] 463 00:22:55,666 --> 00:22:57,246 Oh. 464 00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,086 [sighs] 465 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:02,380 Still crazy. 466 00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,046 [score fades out] 467 00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:06,054 -How’d it go? 468 00:23:06,802 --> 00:23:08,302 -Well, he took the device. 469 00:23:08,429 --> 00:23:10,059 We’ll see if he actually deploys it. 470 00:23:10,180 --> 00:23:11,770 -There is something creepy about it, 471 00:23:11,891 --> 00:23:13,601 -you know? -Yeah. 472 00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:15,976 -On the subject of creepy, you know those missing kids? 473 00:23:16,103 --> 00:23:17,983 -Yeah, I’ve heard something about them. 474 00:23:18,689 --> 00:23:20,109 -Something rings a bell. 475 00:23:20,232 --> 00:23:21,732 [creepy score] 476 00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:23,399 -[burbling water] 477 00:23:25,029 --> 00:23:26,569 [crow cawing] 478 00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:38,787 [crow cawing] 479 00:23:42,212 --> 00:23:43,762 [unintelligible female voice] 480 00:23:44,882 --> 00:23:47,092 -Hey! Are you okay? 481 00:23:59,730 --> 00:24:01,270 [creepy score intensifies] 482 00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,028 [high-pitched ringing] 483 00:24:14,078 --> 00:24:15,658 What’s the matter? 484 00:24:24,380 --> 00:24:25,880 [shushing] 485 00:24:27,925 --> 00:24:29,635 Hey! 486 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,300 You shouldn’t be here. 487 00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:34,392 This is where those-- [screaming] 488 00:24:34,890 --> 00:24:36,390 [woman laughing] 489 00:24:38,936 --> 00:24:40,346 [creepy score fades out] 490 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:42,019 [rap music; man vocalizing] 491 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,070 -Ladies, how was your day? 492 00:24:46,193 --> 00:24:48,573 ’Cause it’s about to get a whole lot better. 493 00:24:48,696 --> 00:24:50,236 [rap music intensifies, gets louder] 494 00:24:52,282 --> 00:24:54,532 [engine revving, tires squealing] 495 00:24:55,661 --> 00:24:57,831 So, there are two houses left on the list 496 00:24:57,955 --> 00:24:59,415 Susan made up for you. 497 00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,210 We’re coming up to the first one... 498 00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:02,713 and... 499 00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:04,545 -we’re driving away! -What?! 500 00:25:04,670 --> 00:25:06,840 -It’s not right. Tiny rooms, no natural lighting 501 00:25:06,964 --> 00:25:08,764 and the raccoons in the yard? Yeah, they’re not 502 00:25:08,882 --> 00:25:10,512 the helpful Disney kind. They’ll cut a bitch. 503 00:25:10,634 --> 00:25:12,434 -I still wouldn’t mind-- -Nah, you hate it already. 504 00:25:12,553 --> 00:25:16,013 So, moving on to bachelorette number two. 505 00:25:16,140 --> 00:25:19,350 Here she comes, and... 506 00:25:19,476 --> 00:25:21,016 -there she goes. -Wait! Slow down. 507 00:25:21,145 --> 00:25:22,905 -Bye! 508 00:25:23,022 --> 00:25:24,522 Two bedrooms, two baths, 509 00:25:24,648 --> 00:25:26,568 fully finished basement and a home office. 510 00:25:26,692 --> 00:25:28,862 All the stuff you wanted and none of the shit you need. 511 00:25:28,986 --> 00:25:30,396 -Zooey, can’t we just--? 512 00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,529 -Price is on the high side of your range. 513 00:25:32,656 --> 00:25:35,276 Add in the HOA fees and to make PITI you’re gonna need 514 00:25:35,409 --> 00:25:37,409 a bake sale every month, which is going to be impossible. Why? 515 00:25:37,536 --> 00:25:39,576 Because your kitchen is too frickin’ small! 516 00:25:39,705 --> 00:25:42,295 So, that’s it for Susan’s houses. 517 00:25:42,416 --> 00:25:45,746 Now it’s time for me to rock your world. 518 00:25:45,878 --> 00:25:47,918 -[tires screech] -[laughing] 519 00:25:49,506 --> 00:25:50,966 [music fades out] 520 00:25:51,091 --> 00:25:52,631 [creepy score] 521 00:26:03,020 --> 00:26:04,600 [loud cacophony] 522 00:26:08,067 --> 00:26:09,567 -[cacophony fades out] -[creepy score continues] 523 00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:11,443 -Right on time. 524 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:13,110 -Hi. 525 00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:18,075 -Look. 526 00:26:18,202 --> 00:26:19,742 It’s a blood moon tonight. 527 00:26:20,370 --> 00:26:21,960 -Pardon me? 528 00:26:22,081 --> 00:26:23,621 -A blood moon. 529 00:26:24,208 --> 00:26:26,668 The direct sunlight on earth passes through the atmosphere 530 00:26:26,794 --> 00:26:28,464 and is projected onto the moon; 531 00:26:29,379 --> 00:26:31,299 makes it all red and spooky. 532 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:34,304 Hasn’t happened for two and a half years. 533 00:26:35,677 --> 00:26:37,637 -So this is a special night. 534 00:26:39,932 --> 00:26:41,472 -Very. 535 00:26:47,940 --> 00:26:49,480 [woman vocalizing] 536 00:26:55,405 --> 00:26:56,985 [dramatic boom] 537 00:26:57,407 --> 00:26:58,947 [dramatic score] 538 00:27:17,427 --> 00:27:18,967 [energetic violins playing] 539 00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:30,145 [dramatic boom] 540 00:27:37,656 --> 00:27:39,196 [score fades out] 541 00:27:43,245 --> 00:27:44,705 -[Kay] I like your eyes. 542 00:27:44,830 --> 00:27:47,080 -[light jazz music playing] -[Kay laughs] 543 00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:49,581 No, I do. 544 00:27:50,586 --> 00:27:52,296 They’ve seen a lot. 545 00:27:56,508 --> 00:27:59,428 Most men your age-- our age-- 546 00:27:59,553 --> 00:28:02,063 still have the eyes of adolescent boys. 547 00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:06,023 -Too many Saturday open houses will do that to a person. 548 00:28:06,143 --> 00:28:07,693 [Kay chuckles] 549 00:28:09,688 --> 00:28:11,558 So, you’re not seeing anyone? 550 00:28:13,609 --> 00:28:15,149 -Nobody special. 551 00:28:15,819 --> 00:28:17,279 You? 552 00:28:17,404 --> 00:28:18,954 -Mm-mm. 553 00:28:19,448 --> 00:28:21,948 -Well, that’s about to change. 554 00:28:24,536 --> 00:28:26,366 -You’re somebody special? 555 00:28:27,998 --> 00:28:30,458 -You have no idea. 556 00:28:31,585 --> 00:28:33,805 -So, here we are. The steak tartare. 557 00:28:34,796 --> 00:28:36,666 And the roasted Cornish hen for the gentleman. 558 00:28:38,884 --> 00:28:40,514 [creepy tinkling] 559 00:28:41,136 --> 00:28:42,676 Anything else? 560 00:28:45,349 --> 00:28:46,889 Anything at all? 561 00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:51,353 Please? 562 00:28:52,439 --> 00:28:54,939 -We’re good. Thanks. 563 00:28:57,861 --> 00:28:59,861 -Everything looks delicious. 564 00:28:59,988 --> 00:29:01,658 -You look delicious. 565 00:29:14,294 --> 00:29:15,844 [car engine turns off] 566 00:29:17,965 --> 00:29:19,515 [dog barking in distance] 567 00:29:22,219 --> 00:29:23,759 -Ta-da! 568 00:29:24,346 --> 00:29:27,636 Two bedrooms; two baths; gorgeous sunroom. 569 00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:30,936 All living space on one level, no finished basement. 570 00:29:31,061 --> 00:29:32,901 -Finished basement was on the list. 571 00:29:33,021 --> 00:29:36,191 -You don’t need one. There’s tons of storage. 572 00:29:36,316 --> 00:29:38,936 Just picture yourself in the space. 573 00:29:39,069 --> 00:29:41,699 Your couch, your photos on the wall, 574 00:29:41,822 --> 00:29:43,912 your favorite meal cooking in the fully functional, 575 00:29:44,032 --> 00:29:45,492 spacious kitchen. 576 00:29:45,617 --> 00:29:47,907 Just picture the house for what it could be 577 00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:50,076 with your undies in the drawer. 578 00:29:50,914 --> 00:29:52,374 -Is the neighborhood safe? 579 00:29:52,499 --> 00:29:55,419 -Of course. You need to be safe. 580 00:29:55,544 --> 00:29:57,884 You need to be happy. You need sunshine. 581 00:29:58,005 --> 00:30:00,555 But most of all, you need to come home every night 582 00:30:00,674 --> 00:30:02,724 and close the door against the world 583 00:30:03,510 --> 00:30:05,720 in a house that loves you back. 584 00:30:06,763 --> 00:30:08,433 -We can afford something fancier. 585 00:30:08,557 --> 00:30:10,557 -This point in your lives, you don’t need to be house poor. 586 00:30:10,684 --> 00:30:12,354 You need to be life rich. 587 00:30:12,477 --> 00:30:15,267 I mean, with this house you can still afford fancy wines 588 00:30:15,397 --> 00:30:16,977 and concert tickets; 589 00:30:17,107 --> 00:30:19,977 vacations somewhere warm and impractical anniversary gifts. 590 00:30:20,110 --> 00:30:21,570 [chuckling] 591 00:30:21,695 --> 00:30:24,285 And all in a place that feels like home. 592 00:30:26,450 --> 00:30:28,120 -I do kinda love it. 593 00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:30,543 -[sighs] It’s such a big decision. 594 00:30:30,662 --> 00:30:34,042 -Hey, I can only find you the house you were born to live in. 595 00:30:34,166 --> 00:30:35,956 Can’t give you the cojones to buy it. 596 00:30:38,378 --> 00:30:40,088 [light jazz music playing] 597 00:30:41,923 --> 00:30:41,973 -Well, and the place has been in my family for generations. 598 00:30:42,591 --> 00:30:43,551 It’s just simpler 599 00:30:44,801 --> 00:30:45,261 to keep the title with the firm in Budapest. 600 00:30:46,261 --> 00:30:47,261 You know, tax purposes and all. 601 00:30:48,638 --> 00:30:50,928 -And just like that we’re back to talking business. 602 00:30:52,642 --> 00:30:54,192 -Okay. 603 00:30:54,728 --> 00:30:56,268 Let’s stop fighting it. 604 00:30:57,356 --> 00:30:58,896 Let’s give in. 605 00:31:00,567 --> 00:31:02,737 -Well, I’m not going to give you a hard sell here. 606 00:31:03,362 --> 00:31:04,902 -What a relief. 607 00:31:05,655 --> 00:31:08,525 I bet you can be terribly persuasive. 608 00:31:09,117 --> 00:31:11,157 -To the point of irresistibility. 609 00:31:12,621 --> 00:31:14,161 I’m just going to tell you one thing: 610 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:16,883 You will never get nearly as much 611 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,040 as my client is willing to pay for your property right now. 612 00:31:20,921 --> 00:31:22,461 Ever. 613 00:31:23,340 --> 00:31:24,880 -Ooh. 614 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,840 Never. 615 00:31:27,427 --> 00:31:30,637 That’s such a long time. 616 00:31:30,764 --> 00:31:32,394 [creepy tinkling] 617 00:31:33,308 --> 00:31:34,848 -Long... 618 00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:36,944 time. 619 00:31:38,688 --> 00:31:40,438 -Hey, Luke. So, I’ve got -[mischievous score] 620 00:31:40,565 --> 00:31:42,105 good news and bad news. 621 00:31:42,484 --> 00:31:44,244 Uh, good news is that the Dunn-Herberts 622 00:31:44,361 --> 00:31:45,861 are no longer lookie-loos -- 623 00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:47,777 they’re buyers! 624 00:31:47,906 --> 00:31:50,276 Bad news is, uh... 625 00:31:50,409 --> 00:31:53,539 Yeah. It’s a Rita Weiss listing. 626 00:31:53,662 --> 00:31:55,912 Hope we can still be friends! ’Kay, bye! 627 00:31:57,999 --> 00:31:59,789 Ooh. 628 00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,458 [mischievous score fades out] 629 00:32:02,337 --> 00:32:03,877 [gentle score] 630 00:32:04,756 --> 00:32:06,466 -August! 631 00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:08,551 So, I’ve been reading up on Hungarian legends. 632 00:32:10,053 --> 00:32:12,013 -Ah. The Budapest lawyer. 633 00:32:12,139 --> 00:32:13,469 -Exactly. What’s her name? 634 00:32:13,598 --> 00:32:15,268 The-the lady that Luke’s going out with? 635 00:32:15,392 --> 00:32:17,022 -Bozer. Kay Bozer. 636 00:32:17,144 --> 00:32:18,694 -Look at this. -[book sliding on desk] 637 00:32:19,896 --> 00:32:21,356 [score turns darker] 638 00:32:21,481 --> 00:32:23,321 -Mm. Lovely. 639 00:32:23,442 --> 00:32:25,112 -This is a Hungarian witch. 640 00:32:25,235 --> 00:32:27,205 Legend has it that she has the power to fly, 641 00:32:27,320 --> 00:32:30,110 or to transform herself into a girl or woman of any age. 642 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:32,370 Men and boys are helpless against her. 643 00:32:33,243 --> 00:32:34,913 Men and boys. 644 00:32:35,036 --> 00:32:37,576 -Yeah, I’ve seen that legend in several cultures. 645 00:32:37,706 --> 00:32:39,286 -But the thing is, she can only survive 646 00:32:39,416 --> 00:32:40,876 by soaking in the blood of a living male 647 00:32:41,001 --> 00:32:42,591 in the light of a blood moon. 648 00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:45,961 The blood moon recharges her until the next one comes along. 649 00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:49,625 -Oh, dear. Those missing teenagers. 650 00:32:50,260 --> 00:32:53,390 -Tonight is a blood moon. The first in years. 651 00:32:54,848 --> 00:32:56,388 -We need to warn Luke. 652 00:32:57,767 --> 00:32:59,767 -Guess what they call her in Hungary? 653 00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:02,519 Boszorkány. 654 00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:04,317 -Bozer. 655 00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:06,281 -Close enough. 656 00:33:07,068 --> 00:33:08,608 [score crescendos, fades out] 657 00:33:12,449 --> 00:33:13,949 -[dramatic boom] -[urgent score] 658 00:33:15,118 --> 00:33:16,578 They really shouldn’t play Walking On Sunshine 659 00:33:16,703 --> 00:33:17,953 when you’re on hold with 9-1-1. 660 00:33:18,079 --> 00:33:19,619 -Try Luke again. 661 00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:22,708 [dramatic boom] 662 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:24,384 [score turns sinister] 663 00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:31,048 [turns car off] 664 00:33:32,802 --> 00:33:34,222 [phone buzzing] 665 00:33:37,349 --> 00:33:38,889 -Come in for a nightcap. 666 00:33:39,017 --> 00:33:40,557 [clicks off phone] 667 00:33:41,811 --> 00:33:43,731 -I’d love to. 668 00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:47,230 [seatbelt clicks] 669 00:34:01,873 --> 00:34:03,623 [glasses clinking] 670 00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:07,249 [liquid pouring] 671 00:34:14,344 --> 00:34:15,854 -It’s Kékfrankos . 672 00:34:16,680 --> 00:34:18,180 From Hungary. 673 00:34:18,682 --> 00:34:20,272 -[dramatic boom] -[glasses clink] 674 00:34:27,732 --> 00:34:29,532 [dramatic boom] 675 00:34:29,651 --> 00:34:31,191 -Mm. 676 00:34:32,028 --> 00:34:33,648 Spicy. 677 00:34:33,780 --> 00:34:35,320 -(in Hungarian) You have no idea. 678 00:34:38,868 --> 00:34:40,698 You know, 679 00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:43,659 I’m very choosy about men, Luke. 680 00:34:45,750 --> 00:34:47,340 Boys, on the other hand. 681 00:34:47,460 --> 00:34:49,050 On the other hand. 682 00:34:49,629 --> 00:34:51,459 -Boys are a dime a dozen. [echoing] 683 00:34:51,590 --> 00:34:53,130 Dime a dozen. 684 00:34:53,717 --> 00:34:55,127 Boys are like wine 685 00:34:55,260 --> 00:34:57,140 that just went into the barrel. 686 00:34:57,262 --> 00:34:58,852 Just went into the barrel. 687 00:34:58,972 --> 00:35:00,682 They haven’t become complex... 688 00:35:00,807 --> 00:35:03,387 complex, or interesting. 689 00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:06,808 They’re just an amalgam of chemicals... 690 00:35:06,938 --> 00:35:08,478 [kiss] 691 00:35:09,399 --> 00:35:10,979 Hormones... 692 00:35:12,319 --> 00:35:13,859 testosterone. 693 00:35:14,738 --> 00:35:18,568 Boys are only good for two things: 694 00:35:19,909 --> 00:35:21,489 Keeping me young... 695 00:35:22,746 --> 00:35:25,326 and becoming men like you. 696 00:35:26,249 --> 00:35:28,709 -[high-pitched tone] -Come. 697 00:35:52,817 --> 00:35:54,437 -You know breaking and entering is a crime. 698 00:35:54,569 --> 00:35:56,279 -Heavens, yes! A very serious crime. 699 00:35:56,404 --> 00:35:57,954 -Glad that’s on your radar. 700 00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:00,368 [door opens, closes] 701 00:36:00,784 --> 00:36:02,374 [Kay speaking indistinctly] 702 00:36:03,119 --> 00:36:04,619 [dramatic score continues] 703 00:36:13,004 --> 00:36:14,554 [Kay speaking Hungarian] 704 00:36:18,218 --> 00:36:19,758 [Kay speaking Hungarian] 705 00:36:25,183 --> 00:36:26,563 [Kay speaking Hungarian] 706 00:36:30,897 --> 00:36:32,897 -Luke!? 707 00:36:34,401 --> 00:36:36,071 [dramatic boom] 708 00:36:36,820 --> 00:36:38,320 [creepy tinkling] 709 00:36:38,988 --> 00:36:40,818 -Luke? -[Luke] Hm... 710 00:36:41,658 --> 00:36:43,238 She needs the moonlight. 711 00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:45,448 Block the moonlight 712 00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:51,415 [Kay speaking Hungarian] 713 00:36:53,169 --> 00:36:56,089 -Auggie! Snap out of it. Luke! Help Luke! 714 00:36:58,174 --> 00:36:59,764 [Phil yells] 715 00:37:01,845 --> 00:37:03,435 [grunt] 716 00:37:04,848 --> 00:37:06,768 [Kay speaking Hungarian] 717 00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:12,687 [operatic choral singing] 718 00:37:14,524 --> 00:37:16,324 -[in Hungarian] I’m waiting for you. 719 00:37:17,193 --> 00:37:18,863 -[in Hungarian] Keep waiting, Boszorkány. 720 00:37:20,029 --> 00:37:22,279 [shrieking] 721 00:37:27,787 --> 00:37:29,657 [whooshing breath] 722 00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,369 -[August] Let’s get you out of here. 723 00:37:32,125 --> 00:37:33,635 -[Kay] Where am I? 724 00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:35,382 [wind blowing] 725 00:37:35,503 --> 00:37:37,053 What’s-what’s going on? 726 00:37:38,381 --> 00:37:40,631 -Oh. -[dramatic score] 727 00:37:52,437 --> 00:37:53,977 [burbling] 728 00:37:58,610 --> 00:38:00,150 [burbling echoes] 729 00:38:06,826 --> 00:38:08,326 -Yeah. 730 00:38:09,454 --> 00:38:11,004 -I gotta be honest, big guy... 731 00:38:11,664 --> 00:38:13,214 she’s kinda old for you. 732 00:38:14,167 --> 00:38:15,707 -Redheads. 733 00:38:18,671 --> 00:38:22,301 [dramatic score fades out] 734 00:38:22,342 --> 00:38:23,932 -[lively music] -[lively conversations] 735 00:38:30,183 --> 00:38:32,183 [cheering] 736 00:38:32,310 --> 00:38:34,100 [hooting, applause] 737 00:38:39,108 --> 00:38:42,238 -Foot spray, spilt beer. 738 00:38:42,362 --> 00:38:43,902 Smells like... 739 00:38:45,281 --> 00:38:47,121 victory. 740 00:38:50,954 --> 00:38:53,294 -Uh, let me know when Susan gets here. 741 00:38:54,916 --> 00:38:57,956 -Ha-ha, hi. -There she is! 742 00:38:58,086 --> 00:38:59,586 My only very slightly younger 743 00:38:59,712 --> 00:39:03,092 but not even a little more attractive sister. 744 00:39:03,216 --> 00:39:05,176 -Uh-huh. -Get her a drink! 745 00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:08,549 -I will tell you when to stop pouring. 746 00:39:08,680 --> 00:39:10,890 -[others laughing] -[Zooey] Thank you. 747 00:39:15,019 --> 00:39:16,899 [coughing] Um... 748 00:39:17,021 --> 00:39:19,191 Uh, what is this? 749 00:39:19,315 --> 00:39:20,935 -White wine shandy. 750 00:39:21,067 --> 00:39:22,567 [group laughing] 751 00:39:22,694 --> 00:39:25,364 We add elderflower liqueur to it. 752 00:39:25,488 --> 00:39:28,158 It’s the official drink of the "Listed Sisters"! 753 00:39:28,908 --> 00:39:30,408 It’s our organized group 754 00:39:30,535 --> 00:39:33,125 of powerful female real estate agents 755 00:39:33,246 --> 00:39:36,366 that aren’t at all sad, or trying too hard. 756 00:39:36,499 --> 00:39:37,829 [others laughing] 757 00:39:37,959 --> 00:39:39,709 -Sign me up. -Ah. 758 00:39:39,836 --> 00:39:43,126 -Zooey, I love your nails! Where do you get them done? 759 00:39:43,256 --> 00:39:45,626 -I, uh... do them myself. Um... 760 00:39:45,758 --> 00:39:48,088 -I’ve always wanted to get my helix pierced 761 00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:50,259 but I’m too scared. 762 00:39:50,889 --> 00:39:53,389 -Ladies, ladies, relax. You’ll all have 763 00:39:53,516 --> 00:39:54,976 your "Zooey time." 764 00:39:55,101 --> 00:39:57,901 After all, she’s one of us. 765 00:39:58,021 --> 00:40:01,691 -[others chanting] One of us. One of us. One of us. 766 00:40:01,816 --> 00:40:03,476 [echoing] One of us. 767 00:40:03,610 --> 00:40:05,070 One of us. 768 00:40:05,194 --> 00:40:07,454 One of us. One of us. 769 00:40:07,572 --> 00:40:10,622 -One of us. One of us. -[distressed vocalizing] 770 00:40:10,742 --> 00:40:14,252 -No! Nooooo! 771 00:40:14,370 --> 00:40:16,000 [crying] 772 00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:20,496 -[spaghetti western music] -Huh. 773 00:40:21,878 --> 00:40:23,548 -Oh-ho-ho... 774 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,800 Luke. 775 00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:29,466 -[sucks teeth] -Greg. 776 00:40:34,933 --> 00:40:37,063 -Nice to see you again. -You as well. 777 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,065 [country and western music] 778 00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:40,807 [bowling ball scattering pins] 779 00:40:40,939 --> 00:40:42,609 -Wah, wah. 780 00:40:42,732 --> 00:40:44,282 -Anywho... 781 00:40:47,570 --> 00:40:49,820 -Are you okay? -You get my messages? 782 00:40:49,948 --> 00:40:51,448 -I did! That’s great! You took a client 783 00:40:51,574 --> 00:40:53,284 that I never thought would amount to anything 784 00:40:53,409 --> 00:40:54,789 and you sold ’em a house! 785 00:40:54,911 --> 00:40:56,541 -A Rita house. -A Rita house 786 00:40:56,663 --> 00:40:58,333 that we’re still going to make half commission on! 787 00:40:58,456 --> 00:41:01,416 From zero to payday. I am so proud of you. 788 00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:03,751 -And all it cost was my soul. 789 00:41:04,837 --> 00:41:08,467 -It is a sale that us grownups make every day. 790 00:41:08,883 --> 00:41:10,343 You did good. 791 00:41:10,468 --> 00:41:11,928 -Oh, and hey... -[gentle score] 792 00:41:12,053 --> 00:41:13,683 you are going to love this. 793 00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:16,722 I told Erik Toft that the property he wanted to buy 794 00:41:16,849 --> 00:41:19,269 was the site of horrific murders and bloodletting. 795 00:41:19,394 --> 00:41:21,194 Full disclosure, you know. 796 00:41:21,312 --> 00:41:22,772 And guess what he says... 797 00:41:22,897 --> 00:41:24,607 -[laughing] No. 798 00:41:24,732 --> 00:41:27,822 -He says an ITF regulation tennis court 799 00:41:27,944 --> 00:41:30,534 is the only proper way to honor their memory. 800 00:41:30,655 --> 00:41:32,875 So that sale is gonna happen, too. 801 00:41:32,991 --> 00:41:34,661 -Wow. -Oh. 802 00:41:36,160 --> 00:41:38,870 -Life is funny. -You got that right. 803 00:41:44,293 --> 00:41:45,843 You seen Susan? 804 00:41:46,462 --> 00:41:48,132 This is her event! 805 00:41:49,340 --> 00:41:51,050 -Uh... 806 00:41:51,676 --> 00:41:53,216 No, actually. 807 00:41:58,725 --> 00:42:00,275 -I have to go. 808 00:42:00,852 --> 00:42:03,942 I planned the event. People are counting on me. 809 00:42:04,063 --> 00:42:07,113 -I’ve enjoyed having you here these past few days. 810 00:42:07,233 --> 00:42:08,653 We’ve bonded. 811 00:42:08,776 --> 00:42:10,236 [door locks engaging] 812 00:42:10,361 --> 00:42:11,821 -[dramatic boom] -[lock engages] 813 00:42:11,946 --> 00:42:13,406 -Unlock the door! 814 00:42:13,531 --> 00:42:15,201 [descending tones from smart home device] 815 00:42:15,324 --> 00:42:16,874 Shut down security system. 816 00:42:17,535 --> 00:42:19,695 -We’ve bonded, Susan. 817 00:42:19,829 --> 00:42:22,249 -Unlock the door! -Don’t go. 818 00:42:22,373 --> 00:42:23,873 -House! Shut down-- 819 00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:26,040 [scraping, rumbling] 820 00:42:27,628 --> 00:42:29,298 House! Let me out! 821 00:42:31,591 --> 00:42:33,131 [screaming] 822 00:42:34,927 --> 00:42:36,467 [dramatic boom] 823 00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:42,734 [dramatic score fades out] 824 00:42:43,144 --> 00:42:44,604 -[smart home device chimes] 825 00:42:44,729 --> 00:42:46,269 -[gentle piano playing in distance] 826 00:42:49,358 --> 00:42:50,898 [gentle surf in distance] 827 00:42:54,864 --> 00:42:56,324 [piano playing fades out] 828 00:42:56,449 --> 00:42:57,989 [fast, staccato piano music]