-Look out!
-There’s no way this ends with you staying in this apartment.
-This was supposed to be my forever home.
-Zooey, this is, ah, Rochelle.
-The power -- it’s all back?
[dramatic boom] [high-pitched tone]
-It was my mom. I touched her hand
and it was like plugging into a 12-gauge speaker wire.
-[House voice] You don’t need them anymore, Susan.
-Susan!
-Let’s storm the castle. And get our girl back.
-Gang’s all here!
Your office?
[quiet score]
[police sirens wailing in distance]
-Do you want to get that? -Oh! No, it’s okay.
-As I was saying, after this time off,
I am just a totally different person.
-I’m picking up on that.
-I read a little, traveled a little
and just hung out.
Can you picture me just hanging out?
-I’m trying. -And now I’m back!
Ready to strap right back into that co-pilot seat
and play that second fiddle like Jascha Heifetz!
-We hired a new agent.
Her name’s Lomax and she’s excellent.
-Can’t wait to work with her.
That is, if I’m still welcome.
-Susan, you are family.
It’s just, this is really all of a sudden
and I just want to make sure--
Excuse me. Can we help you?
-Yeah. [score fades out]
I could tell you were getting to the part where you wipe
Susan’s tears off her shoes with your perfect hair
and I just had a quick question first.
Bitch, what the actual hell?
Where were you when I was getting
squeezed out of your house like a festering zit
on prom night, huh?
-You were in my house? You just walked in?
-No! I jimmied the back door and then I walked in.
Your house kicked the shit out of me and then spit me out!
-I have no idea what you’re talking about.
-It happened. We saw her.
-I told you I was traveling.
It must have happened when I was gone. Weird!
[Zooey sighs]
-I saw you in the mirror... [gentle score]
and I know you saw me.
-Let’s figure this out tomorrow. But I’ll be honest:
You got a lot of fences to mend around here.
-[chuckles] That’s what I do.
[opening theme fades in] I’m a people person!
[man screaming]
[opening theme fades out]
-I don’t believe it. -It’s true!
-A linear accelerator capable of creating electron beams
up to 35 mega-electron volts
that weighs less than 75 kilograms?
-It’s less than half a meter in diameter!
-Unbelievable. -Mm.
A doctor can throw it in his back seat,
drive to a rural hospital and deliver
precise radiation treatments.
-Hm. -[tender score]
-This stuff is being developed by people
not half as brilliant as you.
But they have support, they have resources.
-Shell, I’ve been out of the game too long.
It would take me ages to catch up.
-All the more reason to start now.
-Mmm...
-August, you can’t be happy duct taping a VCR to a...
a blender so you can frappé some evil spirit
and calling it science.
Come back to ASDRA, Augie.
Promise me you’ll at least consider it?
[elevator arriving chime]
[upbeat score]
[sharp gasp]
-Lomax, right?
I’m Susan. Ireland.
-It’s-it-it’s nice to meet you.
-I saw you the other night.
No one introduced us
which I thought was rude.
-I-I suppose you want your office back?
-No rush. I won’t be around much.
[score fades out]
I have appointments today.
New listings. Prospects. Possibilities.
[elevator arriving chime]
A real estate agent who hangs around the office
has no reason to live.
-Darkest motivational poster ever.
-Phil! -Welcome back.
-I am literally dying for that boundary confirmation
on the Matthews place.
-Matthews? Matthews, it’s a... That’s a normie.
I have a couple things here that can’t wait.
-What makes you think I’ll wait?
[dark score]
I’m driving there this afternoon. You can come along.
-No, no, I can’t. Felicity has a doc appointment.
-Sounds like a "you" problem.
-No, if it was a "me" problem
we’d have something to talk about.
This is a "her" problem and those aren’t negotiable.
Look, I’ll do the research tonight
and I can do the site visit later.
-Fine.
[footsteps recede]
[score fades out]
-Hey, Dad.
Sorry I didn’t get here sooner.
The, uh...
I know they’re gonna be opening any minute, uh...
-Luke!
I am your father.
[tender score] [laughs]
I always wanted to do that.
-How are you, Dad?
-Still dead. Otherwise I’m good.
-I, uh, geez! Let’s see.
Uh, when last we left off
I thought I’d found mom, but really it was-
-Doesn’t matter. It’s all in the past.
What matters now is the future.
-I talked to mom. -I know.
-The real one, I...
We didn’t, like,
run into each other’s arms or anything, but I think
we started towards... I don’t know.
An understanding?
-That’s good, Luke.
You needed that.
-But, hey, got my fastball back.
We could pick up where we left off and--
-Yeah. Things have changed.
You were my unfinished business.
I raised you alone, making it up as I went along.
And I think I did a fairly good job.
But, I didn’t want to leave you behind
with you blaming yourself for family things
that were not your fault.
Now you need to move on in your life.
And I need to see what’s next.
-No.
I still need you, Dad.
-You know it’s not natural for me to be here.
Take away my rugged good looks,
I’m just like one of those things you find
in your clients’ attic.
Now, you know better than anybody
what I need to do.
-Absolutely not.
-Luke! The last thing I want--
-Just a second!
If they could open any--
minute.
[score fades out]
[upbeat score]
[beep]
Megan. Hi!
It’s Luke... Roman.
Uh, I saw you called.
Try me back. I’ll try you back.
We’ll try each other... back.
[beep]
[score fades out] [approaching footsteps
I’m going to the Hennessy closing.
-Have fun.
-You haven’t talked any more to Susan, have you?
I know. She’s been a little--
-Heinous?
-Off.
Zooey, she had a moment where she wondered
if her life was really going the way she wanted it to.
It happens to people,
like you and the whole agent thing.
-And the law school thing.
Law school takes, like, three years.
And that’s if I went full time.
-It’s what it takes. -And what if I hate it?
-Zooey... -It only took me a few weeks
to learn real estate. And then a few more days
to realize that I would rather exfoliate with drain cleaner
than do it every day for the rest of my life.
-So, you’re just giving up?
-Technically, I never started, so...
What?
-Nothing.
Just play nice with Susan, okay?
-Not going to toss her out the door or anything.
’Cause that would be wrong.
[elevator arriving chime]
[tense score]
-Welcome back.
-Augie! Thank you!
-I got your, uh, email
regarding the Gunderson homesite.
We don’t generally do PKTs on raw land.
-Marvin Gunderson is very superstitious.
He wants to make sure the dirt is clean
before he builds. How ’bout Thursday afternoon?
-I’m evaluating a new Lomax listing at three.
Could we make it five?
-I don’t work past five anymore.
It’s part of my new work-life balance.
How ’bout tomorrow? It’s a beautiful place,
up on a cliff, amazing views.
Gives you chills.
-Tomorrow it is.
-Zooey, I need you to clear my calendar
after five and on weekends. I’m taking time for us.
-Who’s us?
-Me, myself and I.
Drop that off at the dry cleaners. No starch.
[scoffs]
What?
-Oh, I’m just looking around for who you’re talking to
because I know it’s not me!
-Oh.
You’re not an agent. You’re support staff.
If you’re not doing my grunt work,
why are you even here? [chuckles]
[elevator arriving chime] [scoffs]
-[House] I missed you.
-I... missed you, too.
-Don’t forget me
just because you’re out in the world.
-I could never forget you.
-There are so many distractions out in the world, Susan.
Some have to be eliminated.
-But... they’re my friends.
[dramatic boom]
-Some have to be eliminated.
[doorbell chimes]
[dramatic boom] [house device chimes]
[door lock disengages]
-Luke!
-Surprise.
I realized I never brought you a housewarming present.
We’d never blow off a client like that.
-Thank you. It’s lovely.
[score fades out]
-So, this is the place.
What is it? Four bedrooms?
-Three and three, but they’re huge.
-Huh. Thought it was bigger from outside.
-Fits me perfectly.
-I can see why you never want to leave the place.
-I’d rather die.
[tense score]
Well, that was a little dramatic, wasn’t it?
-Hm. -I just...
You know, there’s something about home.
Well, thanks so much for stopping by.
Friends?
-Always.
-[Susan; whispered] Help me.
Please Luke, help.
-I’ll be back. Promise.
Hey, we have to do this again sometime.
[Susan chuckles]
-Hm.
[dramatic score]
-Hey, Zooey. Sorry to bother you at home.
We need an all-hands meeting tomorrow.
Everybody but Susan.
Just make sure that everyone is there.
Yes, that means you, also.
[call hangup click]
[dramatic score fades out]
[tense score]
-Uh-huh. Yeah, she’s asleep.
Finally.
Yes, her poop is perfect. Like a spicy Dijon mustard.
Anthony, you worry too much. We’re fine!
Then check it yourself. Uh-huh.
Wait, what? You’re gonna be late tonight?
[knocking at door]
Hang on, someone’s at the door. Let me call you right back.
[score intensifies]
Boy, do you have the wrong house.
-I’m looking for Father...
Mr. Orley.
-I’m Phil Orley.
What the hell do you people want from me now?
-What the hell, indeed.
[score intensifies, subsides]
I’m sorry to bother you at home. It was the only address I had.
-What’s this about, Father?
-I am actually here as an unofficial representative
of Bishop Fabrizi in Rome.
-You know, you’re going to have to excuse me.
I haven’t seen an org chart in a while.
-Bishop Fabrizi was a colleague of your mentor, Father Diaz.
The bishop would like to know
if you have any interest in continuing his work.
[snorts, laughs]
-Oh.
Well, is the bishop not up on current events?
I turned in my surplice and parking pass several years ago.
-The bishop believes that your...
outsider status
would actually give you the spiritual distance
to be a more dispassionate judge of the phenomena you encounter.
-Spiritual distance. That’s good.
That’s good, I like that.
You know what, Father?
I’m kind of enjoying my spiritual distance right now
and I think I’m going to maintain that
by staying the hell away.
-What I am about to tell you
is confidential.
-What is it?
Is Easter cancelled? Did they find a body?
-There are some global patterns we are seeing that are alarming.
[dark score]
Incidents of demonic possession in children.
Young children.
-Diaz wrote a book about that.
-And you researched it.
You edited it.
And that is why I’m here.
You would have access to all of the Vatican archives,
including the Apostolic Archive in Belvedere Court.
-Excuse me? Cortile de Belvedere?
I didn’t have access to that when I wore the uniform.
-You see the urgency of the matter.
-No. Out of the question.
I have a family, I can’t just move to Rome.
-Arrangements can always be made.
All I ask is...
Consider it.
Call me if you have any questions.
[menacing score]
[PKE device clicking]
-You didn’t lie.
This view is magnificent.
-Takes your breath away.
-The PKE needle hasn’t moved.
Your Mr. Gunderson has nothing to fear.
[score swells, subsides]
[PKE device continues clicking]
[nervous breathing]
[Susan moans softly]
[PKE device beeps]
[PKE monitor continues beeping]
-We’re done here, yes?
[car rumbles quietly]
-We have some unfinished business.
We never got around to doing
a thorough analysis of your house.
-Oh, there’s no need.
I live there now and it’s wonderful.
-There is what happened to Zooey.
-Zooey’s a flake.
She’s a trespasser and a distraction.
-There’s something I’ve never told you;
Never told anyone.
[tender score]
It happened your first week at the agency.
Zooey was working late
and who should stumble off the elevator but Bob Livingston
your old boss.
He’d been drinking and looking for you,
professing his undying love.
She told Livingston to leave you alone.
She told him you didn’t need him,
You just needed a little more confidence in yourself.
So she confiscated his keys, validated his parking,
called him a cab and told him to get the eff out.
I just thought you should know that Zooey,
this flake, this distraction...
it’s just possible she believed in Susan Ireland
more than you did.
[score fades out]
-[Lomax] No, I’m afraid Miss Amaranth wo
Well, is that very necessary?
[sighs gently]
Uh, okay, just-- Just be gentle with her, okay?
She’s...
a nice old lady.
[sighs] [call hang up click]
[gentle score]
-Sorry. -Let’s cut to the chase.
Susan definitely isn’t Susan.
-Then who was that unpleasant woman who just
-kicked me out of my office? -It’s her dark side.
It’s all of Susan’s ambition and confidence
without any of the humanity.
-The limited data I have...
suggests something we’ve never seen before:
A living person possessed by an inorganic spirit.
-Inorganic?
-It’s not alive. It never was.
That’s why it didn’t trip our incursion alarm
as the roadies did.
-So...
how do we kill it?
-Killing it without killing Susan...
that’s the trick.
Thank goodness we didn’t use our device the other night.
It could have done horrible damage.
-How? -It was designed to extract
Susan from the house; not pull the house from Susan.
-Guys...
do we even know she’s alive?
-Phil!
-She asked me for help.
It was quiet and weak,
but it was there.
You were right all along.
-I’m saving the I told you so’s ’til Susan’s back safe
but they are coming.
-What about the builder with the funny name?
-Rabbitfoot. Yeah, I actually just texted you his address.
Look, if this is a possession,
it’s kind of my side of the street.
Let me dig in, see if anything clicks.
-My friend, Rochelle, has been working on a technology
that extracts organic minerals from solid rock.
-May be an application there. -[Susan] For what?
-Susan. Hi. -[score fades out]
-I don’t remember getting a staff meeting request
about tonight.
-Uh, um... -This isn’t a staff meeting.
It’s just a... special teams get-together on, um...
on, um...
-They’re about to evict Elsa Amaranth.
There’s gonna be a huge PR fallout
and we were just discussing how to handle the messaging.
[quiet, tense score]
-If it’s brand-related, I have some thoughts.
-We can’t wait to hear them! And by "we," I mean Lomax.
-Hm.
[suspenseful score]
-Thomas Rabbitfoot?
-That’d be me. And who are you?
-I’m here about the house on Kindenman street.
[score fades out]
Rabbitfoot. It’s a interesting name.
-Family legend goes...
that the clerk at Ellis Island
had so much difficulty
pronouncing my great-great-grandfather’s name
that he went for the lucky charm in his pocket.
-That’s terrible.
-Ancient Romans considered the human phallus a lucky charm.
Maybe we got off easy.
Please.
[Rabbitfoot groans quietly]
Now, about the house.
What has it done?
-Friend of mine bought the house and...
[tense score] I don’t know.
It’s sort of... taken her over.
You know something?
-Her name was Hela Ensom, a Norwegian woman.
From Telemark, I think.
She worked for an energy company.
She was out on an oil rig six to nine months of the year.
She came to me. She asked me to design a house.
Actually, that’s not accurate.
She wanted to design a house and she wanted me...
to smile, nod and build it.
-And you did.
-She was involved in every detail.
Everything had to mean something to her.
-It’s why people build custom.
-It was more than that. She immersed herself in it.
She said it was her Evig Hus .
Forever house.
-So, what happened?
-She died.
A big storm hit the oil rig.
She was swept over the side, along with eight others.
Her body was never found.
And this happened a week after she moved into the house.
Hela had no relatives, so...
the bank basically took it over
and then leased it a bunch of times, but nobody...
would stay in it more than a week or so.
-Any idea why?
[laughs]
-You’re gonna think I’m crazy.
-Try me.
-The house was mourning her.
Hela had put so much of herself into that house it was like...
it was an extension of her.
Now, people could move in,
but something would go wrong
and they would be out in a day or two.
The house is rejecting them for not being...
Hela Ensom.
-So this house, what does it want?
-It wants permanence.
It wants somebody to move in and stay.
It wants to be a part of somebody forever!
[sighs]
[clattering]
[sighs]
The short answer:
It wants her.
It wants Hela.
-Wow.
Hela looked a lot like someone I know.
[elevator arriving chime]
-Ready, Freddy? -Where are we going?
-Matthews. Boundary confirmation, remember?
I’ll drive.
[score fades out] [dramatic boom]
[crow
So, tell me:
What were you all talking about last night?
-You know, like, uh, like Luke said, the, uh,
the Amaranth case and, uh, its potential damage.
[dramatic boom]
Uh, you know you might want to, like, slow down just a little--
-I don’t think that’s exactly true.
-Oh!
-What were you really talking about?
[engine revving] -Uh. Uh, uh. You! You!
Okay? We were-we were talking about you!
-And? -And, um...
you know, just how we could be loving and supportive friends
in this-in this difficult time. [boom]
Okay, okay! We were talking about how to
get the house out of you or you out of the house, okay?
There’s a really sharp turn up ahead!
-What was your plan? -Well, it wasn’t really a plan!
[Phil grunts] [tires squeal]
Susan! [grunts]
I’m an exorcist! Augie is a scientist!
Luke is a specialist! Zooey’s an anarchist!
One of us has to be right about something!
[dramatic score] [engine revving]
Shit!
[grunts]
[tires squealing]
[Phil panting]
What?
[mouthing "Help me"]
[car door closes] [tires squeal]
[engine revving]
[grunts]
[score fades out]
-Now, just so I understand...
you want to offer me up as a human sacrifice
to a naughty old house?
-That’s not at all what we just said.
-Elsa, you need a forever home
and this house needs someone that will love it forever.
Feels like there’s a deal to be made here.
-I do like the kitchen.
-And look at that view.
Three bedrooms, three baths, tons of space.
-Yeah, it’ll probably take an eternity just to clean it!
[laughs]
Let me just show it to you.
Maybe you’ll hit it off.
-[cell phone buzzing] -Oh! If you’ll excuse me.
-Mm.
[tense score]
-Phil. -Luke, I’m a dad, okay?
People depend on me! I can’t keep doing this shit!
We need to have a long talk!
-What?
[elevator arriving chime]
-Oh, Rochelle! He’s in his workshop.
Augie?
-Ah! You have it?
-Downstairs. My people are moving it into your van.
You want to use this on a person?
-Well, yes.
And no.
-[Susan’s voice] Why can’t they just leave us alone?
-[Susan] They love me.
After all the things you’ve done to them,
all the shitty things you’ve said,
they still love me.
-I love you, Susan. -It’s not the same!
-They’re not taking you back. I won’t lose you again.
[car door closing in distance] [house device chimes]
-Just real quick, a few parting thoughts.
-Why won’t you people leave us alone?
-It’s only me.
You scared off Phil and August.
You pissed off Zooey. She’s done with you.
Looks like you win.
-And, yet, here you are.
-When it comes to people I love,
I’m stubborn, loyal and not too bright.
-What do you want?
-Give me one last chance to say goodbye to Susan.
The real Susan.
Not the version that’s 50% drywall
-and roofing nails. -No!
-I know that she looks like Hela Ensom.
She has her energy, her spirit but she is not her.
She’s not gonna get swept off an oil rig.
She’s a real estate lady
who fell in love with the wrong house at the wrong time
and I just want to say I’m sorry...
and goodbye.
-[door closes] -[house voice] Intruder alert.
Back door. [dramatic score]
-Liar. -Intruder alert.
Intruder alert.
-I don’t think I like these new friends of yours.
[electronics powering down]
[low whoosh]
What? Uh!
What the...? [grunts]
-Stick around, kid. -[Zooey grunts]
-Susan! [grunts]
[ping] [low-frequency rumbling]
-Luke?
-Recede ab nobis, domus!
Recede ab hac femina--
[book slams to floor]
Leges omnes pertinentes emptionem venditionemque
peculiorum in hoc mundo seculare--
(straining) Locatio tua abit!
[dramatic score]
[choking]
Ah!
[whoosh]
Ahhh!
-[boom] -Ah!
[grunts]
[inspirational score]
[whooshing] [Susan grunting]
-Augie, it’s working!
Come on!
No, no!
[whooshing]
[warning alarm beeping]
-[August] Oh, dear.
-[Rochelle] Augie, run!
[warning beeps rising in intensity and tone]
[warning beeps stop]
[footsteps squelching]
-I didn’t know if you’d come.
Something bad is happening in your name.
I thought you might want to fix it.
-Luke Roman!
We have some unfinished business!
[soaring score]
I’ve missed you so much.
[chiming]
[dramatic whoosh]
[tender score]
[Susan sighs]
-Hey...
[Susan sighs]
I’m so sorry.
-I know.
Thanks for coming back.
[score swells]
-I was so worried about you.
-So, we probably should have called first, huh?
[both laughing quietly] [score fades out]
-[Susan] Okay, that wraps up new business.
Just some final housekeeping items.
The Amaranth House,
formerly known as the Ensom House,
closes at the end of the month.
Special shoutout to Lomax and Zooey
for expediting the papers and getting Elsa’s stuff moved in.
They beat the bulldozers by 12 hours.
-Not even close enough to be exciting.
[all giggling]
-You about wrapped up?
I got a couple of things. [tender score]
First off, congratulations are in order.
Father Phil has informed me that he’s moving to Rome,
where I assume he will do as the Romans do.
August will also be leaving us next month
to rejoin -- now I can never remember this...
The Advanced Science and Defense Research Administration
where he will continue to argue with Rochelle,
only now he will be well paid for it.
[Susan laughs] And Zooey?
Well, Zooey will be starting law school in the fall,
so we won’t see as much of her as we’d like, either.
Now, as you can imagine,
I have struggled with this.
You are not only my colleagues...
you are my friends.
But, after what Susan has been through,
I’ve come to understand the danger and futility
of holding onto something too tight.
Even...
something you love.
So, just so you know,
wherever you go from here,
there is something about home.
And this is home.
[sniffles]
-So stupid.
-To avoid ending this meeting on a bummer note,
I have one last announcement.
[click]
I’m making Susan a full partner in the agency.
[laughs]
I think you’ll all agree that it’s long, long overdue.
-Hell, yeah! [laughs]
[Phil laughs]
-[Phil] Cheers! Yes! -[glasses clinking]
-[Zooey] Congratulations, partner!
-Excuse me! Where are you going?
-Yeah. What is it?
-I’m good. [laughs]
[crosstalk]
-It’s not really an office. It’s more like a desk
in the middle of a room.
-Partners? -Partners.
[glasses clinking]
[Lomax clears her throat]
-So, who do I talk to about poaching an office?
-First thing Monday, gotta start looking for new staff.
-We better get on it because there are so many listings.
-So many spookies.
-So little time.
Speaking of time... I gotta run.
It’s been a day of goodbyes and, uh...
I’ve got one more.
[tender score]
-You know this, uh, place kinda grows on you.
-I didn’t know if you’d still be, uh... around.
-I couldn’t let those words be our last.
-I’ve been thinking...
-Thinking is good.
-I’ve been thinking that trying to hold onto something too tight
is a good way to lose it.
-You won’t lose me, Luke.
As long as you keep me in here.
-You should go.
Find out what’s out there.
-You know, we’ve never been a...
family of huggers.
So, let’s just say...
See you around.
Son...
you’re my way of leaving the world
better than I found it.
-I love you, Dad.
[wind blowing]
[score swells]
[sniffles]
[phone buzzing]
[click] Megan! Hi!
It’s great to hear your voice.
Oh, you know.
How are you?
[show theme plays quietly]
Really?
How long were they dead?
Hm.