1 00:00:24,883 --> 00:00:27,963 No! Dodge it! 2 00:00:30,403 --> 00:00:32,683 Where are your mum and dad? How should I know? 3 00:00:32,683 --> 00:00:34,683 There's more to that girl than you know. 4 00:00:36,083 --> 00:00:37,483 What are you playing at? 5 00:00:37,483 --> 00:00:38,643 No! 6 00:00:39,843 --> 00:00:41,003 SHOUTING 7 00:00:41,003 --> 00:00:43,083 Now he comes alive. 8 00:00:43,083 --> 00:00:45,243 Oi, stop there! Come here! 9 00:00:45,243 --> 00:00:48,603 Only God can help those children now. 10 00:00:48,603 --> 00:00:52,243 Right! Fagin's the name, pleased to meet you, my dears. 11 00:00:52,243 --> 00:00:54,723 Oh, you've got a home, have you? 12 00:00:54,723 --> 00:00:56,643 Well, it's gone. Burnt down. 13 00:00:56,643 --> 00:00:59,203 It was like Bonfire Night. No survivors. 14 00:00:59,203 --> 00:01:01,043 You'll have to make do with here, 15 00:01:01,043 --> 00:01:03,243 start an orphanage without the beds. 16 00:01:05,563 --> 00:01:07,763 Fagin! Listen, listen! 17 00:01:07,763 --> 00:01:08,963 Shut up! Bill. 18 00:01:08,963 --> 00:01:10,683 Oh, yeah. Shush, shush, shush. 19 00:01:10,683 --> 00:01:12,243 You'll wake the kids up. 20 00:01:12,243 --> 00:01:14,163 Shh! What are you doing here? 21 00:01:14,163 --> 00:01:16,123 I've just been talking to an old mate of mine 22 00:01:16,123 --> 00:01:18,043 down the pub and I've got a job on. 23 00:01:18,043 --> 00:01:20,523 And it's a big 'un. So, I'm going to need them two new 24 00:01:20,523 --> 00:01:21,883 sprats tomorrow night. 25 00:01:21,883 --> 00:01:23,763 Tomorrow night? 26 00:01:23,763 --> 00:01:25,363 I'm not a miracle worker, Bill. 27 00:01:25,363 --> 00:01:27,163 These things take time. 28 00:01:27,163 --> 00:01:28,403 The kid's had a bit of a knock. 29 00:01:28,403 --> 00:01:30,763 It turns out the orphanage down Smeaton Street 30 00:01:30,763 --> 00:01:33,523 that burnt down used to be his gaffe. 31 00:01:33,523 --> 00:01:36,963 And the girl, well, I mean, she's straight out of the nest. 32 00:01:36,963 --> 00:01:39,203 Still got the country shine on her. 33 00:01:39,203 --> 00:01:42,203 So, what? Well, they'll need a couple of weeks training 34 00:01:42,203 --> 00:01:44,563 before I let them loose in front of the public. 35 00:01:44,563 --> 00:01:46,963 What are you talking about? Polly says that the boy's very 36 00:01:46,963 --> 00:01:49,363 quick with his mitts, a real wizard with the cards, 37 00:01:49,363 --> 00:01:51,683 and if you can shuffle cards, you can shuffle pockets. 38 00:01:51,683 --> 00:01:53,763 Yeah, but it's giving him the guts to do it, in't it? 39 00:01:53,763 --> 00:01:57,323 That's what takes time. Give him half the guts in half the time! 40 00:01:57,323 --> 00:02:00,203 I need four extra hands, right? 41 00:02:02,283 --> 00:02:04,043 What are they going to be doing? 42 00:02:04,043 --> 00:02:05,963 You get them ready 43 00:02:05,963 --> 00:02:08,403 and then I'll tell you, yeah? 44 00:02:08,403 --> 00:02:11,203 I don't want you stealing my thunder. 45 00:02:11,203 --> 00:02:12,323 Mm? 46 00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:19,843 Goodnight! Come on, Bullseye. 47 00:02:22,163 --> 00:02:25,923 GRUNTING 48 00:02:28,683 --> 00:02:30,923 THUNDER RUMBLES 49 00:02:30,923 --> 00:02:33,603 PANTING 50 00:02:37,163 --> 00:02:41,843 LAUGHTER 51 00:02:44,363 --> 00:02:46,923 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 52 00:02:46,923 --> 00:02:48,883 Bless the Queen! God save the Queen! 53 00:02:53,003 --> 00:02:55,323 The time for change is now. 54 00:02:55,323 --> 00:02:57,683 We must fight for our rights. 55 00:02:57,683 --> 00:03:01,843 My father lost his life defending an empire that couldn't care 56 00:03:01,843 --> 00:03:03,323 less about him. 57 00:03:03,323 --> 00:03:05,563 We need a revolution! 58 00:03:05,563 --> 00:03:08,203 Kick down the palace doors, let the people 59 00:03:08,203 --> 00:03:12,363 flood in and take what we've paid for in taxes and blood. 60 00:03:12,363 --> 00:03:13,523 What's going on over there? 61 00:03:13,523 --> 00:03:17,163 We must abolish the monarchy and create a fair and equal 62 00:03:17,163 --> 00:03:19,523 Republic of Great Britain! Oi. 63 00:03:19,523 --> 00:03:22,803 Off your box. I'm exercising my freedom of speech. 64 00:03:22,803 --> 00:03:25,003 Not around here you ain't. Come on, off it. 65 00:03:25,003 --> 00:03:28,683 Go on. Everyone else, go home. 66 00:03:28,683 --> 00:03:30,923 Don't listen to that. Dirty words about the queen. 67 00:03:30,923 --> 00:03:35,243 Home. Come on. Home. We should have arrested her. 68 00:03:35,243 --> 00:03:36,523 I don't trust her. 69 00:03:36,523 --> 00:03:37,963 I'm going to follow her. 70 00:03:37,963 --> 00:03:39,923 BELL TOLLS 71 00:03:54,963 --> 00:03:57,003 What are you doing in my bed? 72 00:03:57,003 --> 00:04:00,083 Hey? Come on! Get off! 73 00:04:03,603 --> 00:04:05,843 Ow, you're hurting me! Good! 74 00:04:08,563 --> 00:04:09,923 Oi, leave it out! Oi! 75 00:04:11,723 --> 00:04:13,723 Tom, ha! What are you doing here? 76 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:18,403 So, you've replaced me already, have you? I've kept my mouth shut 77 00:04:18,403 --> 00:04:19,923 for you, for all of you! 78 00:04:21,683 --> 00:04:24,803 And this is how I'm repaid? Hang about, you're not due to be released 79 00:04:24,803 --> 00:04:26,483 from prison till tomorrow. 80 00:04:26,483 --> 00:04:28,123 I escaped, didn't I? 81 00:04:28,123 --> 00:04:29,563 A day before your release? 82 00:04:29,563 --> 00:04:32,923 Why? The escape plan took longer than I thought. 83 00:04:32,923 --> 00:04:34,563 How much longer? 84 00:04:34,563 --> 00:04:36,403 About six months. 85 00:04:36,403 --> 00:04:37,963 FAGIN SNORTS It's not funny! 86 00:04:37,963 --> 00:04:42,203 I had to dig through the walls with this, a toffee hammer. 87 00:04:42,203 --> 00:04:44,123 Well, it's nice to see you, my dear. 88 00:04:44,123 --> 00:04:47,323 Now, shake hands. We're all on the same side here. 89 00:04:47,323 --> 00:04:49,163 Who is he anyway? I don't know. 90 00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:51,003 What's your name? 91 00:04:51,003 --> 00:04:54,883 Jack. Oh, we're not having another Jack in the gang. Why not? 92 00:04:54,883 --> 00:04:56,683 I've had a lot down the years and they've all 93 00:04:56,683 --> 00:04:59,003 ended up dead or worse. Worse? 94 00:04:59,003 --> 00:05:01,363 One of them joined the police force. 95 00:05:01,363 --> 00:05:03,443 We'll have to call you something else, a dodgy name 96 00:05:03,443 --> 00:05:04,483 for a dodgy geezer. 97 00:05:05,683 --> 00:05:08,283 Ha! I've got it. 98 00:05:08,283 --> 00:05:09,803 Dodger. 99 00:05:09,803 --> 00:05:11,083 That's not fair. 100 00:05:11,083 --> 00:05:13,643 He's been here two minutes, he's got a nickname already. 101 00:05:13,643 --> 00:05:15,243 You never use my nickname. 102 00:05:15,243 --> 00:05:16,403 That's cos it's stupid. 103 00:05:16,403 --> 00:05:18,683 What's stupid about Mr Walnut? 104 00:05:18,683 --> 00:05:19,923 It suits me. 105 00:05:19,923 --> 00:05:22,043 I'm hard as nuts and I'm a nutter. 106 00:05:22,043 --> 00:05:23,283 I'm not calling you that. 107 00:05:23,283 --> 00:05:25,163 People will think you're a squirrel! 108 00:05:33,403 --> 00:05:34,443 Oi, oi. 109 00:05:35,603 --> 00:05:39,203 If I catch you sleeping in my kipping spot again, Dodger... 110 00:05:40,723 --> 00:05:42,723 ..I'll finish you off for real. 111 00:05:42,723 --> 00:05:46,803 Right, come on, we don't want to miss the busiest time of the day. 112 00:05:46,803 --> 00:05:51,203 Busiest time for what? Work, my dears. Work! 113 00:05:51,203 --> 00:05:53,563 Work? I knew there'd be a catch. 114 00:05:54,803 --> 00:05:58,163 What sort of work are we doing, then? How can I put this? 115 00:05:58,163 --> 00:05:59,403 We're pocket rummagers. 116 00:05:59,403 --> 00:06:02,323 What? Watch lifters. 117 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:06,363 Ragged magpies with a beady eye on all that glitters. 118 00:06:07,443 --> 00:06:09,803 Hang on. You're criminals! 119 00:06:11,083 --> 00:06:12,643 Oh, we don't like that word. 120 00:06:12,643 --> 00:06:16,483 No, we never say the F-word. F-word? Thieves. 121 00:06:16,483 --> 00:06:18,643 Look, there's nicking and there's nicking. 122 00:06:18,643 --> 00:06:19,843 We're somewhere in between. 123 00:06:19,843 --> 00:06:22,483 We only steal from people who won't miss it. 124 00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:25,803 We skim a snuff box here, a handkerchief there, 125 00:06:25,803 --> 00:06:27,923 maybe a few coins. But at the end of the day, 126 00:06:27,923 --> 00:06:30,123 we put it in a big pot and give it to the poor. 127 00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:33,803 Yeah, us. We're a family, see, and like a family, 128 00:06:33,803 --> 00:06:35,603 we look after each other. 129 00:06:36,723 --> 00:06:38,563 That's nice. 130 00:06:38,563 --> 00:06:39,723 Come on. 131 00:06:58,323 --> 00:07:01,043 Who are you? Don't you know how to knock? 132 00:07:01,043 --> 00:07:02,163 Oh, police. 133 00:07:02,163 --> 00:07:05,163 I let myself in and yes, I do know how to knock. 134 00:07:05,163 --> 00:07:07,763 See? Now, I weren't happy about those dirty words 135 00:07:07,763 --> 00:07:09,683 you were saying outside about the Queen, yeah? 136 00:07:09,683 --> 00:07:11,923 There's been a lot of death threats against her lately, 137 00:07:11,923 --> 00:07:14,483 and I need to check everyone out. That's why I'm here. 138 00:07:14,483 --> 00:07:18,923 Sir, let me assure you, I don't like the Queen and I believe 139 00:07:18,923 --> 00:07:22,203 in social equality, but I'd never wish her harm. Mm. 140 00:07:23,563 --> 00:07:26,843 OK, thanks very much. Sorry to have kept you. 141 00:07:26,843 --> 00:07:28,083 Oh. 142 00:07:34,403 --> 00:07:38,083 Now, that is a very sharp knife. You want to be careful 143 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:39,323 where you throw that. 144 00:07:39,323 --> 00:07:42,043 One time I nearly sliced my finger off chopping an egg. 145 00:07:43,603 --> 00:07:44,843 I will. 146 00:07:44,843 --> 00:07:45,883 It was a boiled egg. 147 00:07:47,323 --> 00:07:48,483 Thanks. 148 00:07:50,003 --> 00:07:51,043 She's all right. 149 00:07:54,203 --> 00:07:57,283 Come here. Now, listen. 150 00:07:57,283 --> 00:08:00,123 We are pickpockets. 151 00:08:00,123 --> 00:08:02,363 And pickpocketing is like a dance. 152 00:08:02,363 --> 00:08:04,883 You've got to find the right partner, learn the moves. 153 00:08:04,883 --> 00:08:06,803 First, you need a target. 154 00:08:06,803 --> 00:08:10,763 Someone without their wits about 'em, someone with their guard down. 155 00:08:10,763 --> 00:08:13,363 Someone doing two things at the same time. 156 00:08:13,363 --> 00:08:17,523 Look! See that woman there wasting water on leafy things. 157 00:08:17,523 --> 00:08:20,323 Now, your job is to pinch that lady's purse 158 00:08:20,323 --> 00:08:22,963 without being caught. I'm not doing that! 159 00:08:22,963 --> 00:08:25,603 Yes, you are. I'm going to make you do it. No, I'm not! Why not? 160 00:08:25,603 --> 00:08:27,843 I don't take things that don't belong to me. 161 00:08:27,843 --> 00:08:29,763 You're a country girl, in't you? 162 00:08:29,763 --> 00:08:32,083 Have you ever filched eggs off a hen? 163 00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:34,763 Have you? Yeah, but that's... Well, this is just the same, only 164 00:08:34,763 --> 00:08:37,163 it's coins in pockets. Tang's on lookout. 165 00:08:37,163 --> 00:08:39,763 I don't want to be on lookout. It's not fair. 166 00:08:39,763 --> 00:08:41,283 I want to steal things. 167 00:08:41,283 --> 00:08:43,643 Oh, Tang, you have stolen something. 168 00:08:43,643 --> 00:08:47,123 You've stolen my heart. Now get on lookout! 169 00:08:47,123 --> 00:08:48,843 What if we don't want to do it? 170 00:08:48,843 --> 00:08:50,883 What if we don't want to do it? 171 00:08:50,883 --> 00:08:53,483 Listen, if we don't rob, we don't get food. 172 00:08:53,483 --> 00:08:55,203 If we don't get food, we don't eat. 173 00:08:55,203 --> 00:08:58,003 If we don't eat, we starve. If we starve, we die. 174 00:08:58,003 --> 00:08:59,723 Do you want to die? 175 00:08:59,723 --> 00:09:01,643 I didn't think so. Get on with it! 176 00:09:06,363 --> 00:09:07,523 I don't want to do this. 177 00:09:08,603 --> 00:09:10,243 Nor me. 178 00:09:10,243 --> 00:09:11,883 We've got no choice, do we, Charley? 179 00:09:11,883 --> 00:09:14,683 Let's just do a runner. Keep it down. 180 00:09:14,683 --> 00:09:16,443 He's watching us. 181 00:09:16,443 --> 00:09:18,643 I'll do the talking. You nick the purse. 182 00:09:18,643 --> 00:09:19,883 What? 183 00:09:19,883 --> 00:09:21,323 Oh, hello, Miss. Oh. 184 00:09:21,323 --> 00:09:24,123 Yeah, it's a lovely day, ain't it? Is it? 185 00:09:24,123 --> 00:09:25,803 I'm an orphan. 186 00:09:25,803 --> 00:09:27,603 Oh, boohoo. 187 00:09:27,603 --> 00:09:29,763 Um, want to see a magic trick? 188 00:09:29,763 --> 00:09:31,123 No, I hate magic. 189 00:09:31,123 --> 00:09:32,363 Oh, go on! 190 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:34,523 Well, make it quick, I ain't paying you! 191 00:09:34,523 --> 00:09:36,403 All right, all right. Come on! 192 00:09:36,403 --> 00:09:39,203 Pick a card, any card. Here you go. 193 00:09:40,323 --> 00:09:43,003 You're wasting your time, mate. You're wasting your time. 194 00:09:43,003 --> 00:09:44,603 I shuffle them, right? 195 00:09:44,603 --> 00:09:47,283 Then I'll give them a little more of a shuffle. Any more shuffling, 196 00:09:47,283 --> 00:09:49,923 I'll shuffle off. No, just a little bit more, don't worry. 197 00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,723 Oi! Trying to rob from me, were you? 198 00:09:51,723 --> 00:09:54,283 Well, you'll have to try harder than that to get this purse! 199 00:09:54,283 --> 00:09:56,123 Ha! They've done it. 200 00:09:56,123 --> 00:09:57,723 Let's go. 201 00:09:57,723 --> 00:10:01,283 Where did they go? No, please! Go away. 202 00:10:01,283 --> 00:10:02,763 I see you. 203 00:10:02,763 --> 00:10:04,803 Come out from there, you little thieves. 204 00:10:04,803 --> 00:10:06,483 You're not going to get away with this! 205 00:10:06,483 --> 00:10:07,763 What do you reckon? 206 00:10:10,883 --> 00:10:13,403 I reckon you should stop training up those poor nippers 207 00:10:13,403 --> 00:10:15,363 to do your dirty work, Fagin. 208 00:10:15,363 --> 00:10:17,723 You know each other? Unfortunately, yeah. 209 00:10:17,723 --> 00:10:19,123 I'm his landlord. 210 00:10:19,123 --> 00:10:21,763 But not for much longer if he don't cough up his rent. 211 00:10:21,763 --> 00:10:23,443 I told you, day after tomorrow. 212 00:10:23,443 --> 00:10:25,803 Me and Bill have got a big 'un on the boil. Yeah, yeah. 213 00:10:25,803 --> 00:10:27,163 You always say that. 214 00:10:27,163 --> 00:10:30,523 What do you reckon? My new spinners. Their first tinkle? 215 00:10:30,523 --> 00:10:32,363 Very impressive. 216 00:10:32,363 --> 00:10:34,883 Didn't feel a whisper. Like being robbed by a fairy. 217 00:10:34,883 --> 00:10:38,603 Looks like you passed the test. Test? 218 00:10:38,603 --> 00:10:40,363 You mean we've got to do that again? 219 00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:42,883 Yeah, in this game there's hundreds of pockets to be picked. 220 00:10:42,883 --> 00:10:44,883 Yeah, and I've done most of them already. 221 00:10:44,883 --> 00:10:48,443 Oi, Min! We're gasping in here. 222 00:10:48,443 --> 00:10:50,483 Yeah, yeah. All right. I'm coming. 223 00:10:50,483 --> 00:10:52,523 Come on. I'll buy you a drink. 224 00:10:53,883 --> 00:10:56,643 No, not you again! LAUGHTER AND CHATTER 225 00:10:56,643 --> 00:10:59,243 I'm getting you one, don't you worry! In the corner. 226 00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:01,683 Go. Chop, chop, corner. 227 00:11:01,683 --> 00:11:03,163 Come on. Min! 228 00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:05,083 Dandelion and burdocks for the kids. 229 00:11:06,643 --> 00:11:08,843 Tom! Shh! 230 00:11:08,843 --> 00:11:10,923 Tom! Shh, I'm on the run! 231 00:11:14,283 --> 00:11:16,443 HE HUMS ENTHUSIASTICALLY 232 00:11:16,443 --> 00:11:18,043 Little dancing boy! 233 00:11:20,523 --> 00:11:21,883 Come on! 234 00:11:21,883 --> 00:11:22,923 Get in here! 235 00:11:22,923 --> 00:11:26,283 Quiet! I said quiet! 236 00:11:26,283 --> 00:11:29,563 Or you'll be wearing Bullseye's jewels around your neck. 237 00:11:29,563 --> 00:11:32,443 Look who just got out of the nick. 238 00:11:32,443 --> 00:11:33,883 It's Tom Chitling! 239 00:11:33,883 --> 00:11:35,763 CHEERING 240 00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:39,363 All right, Tom? Now, he went inside a boy 241 00:11:39,363 --> 00:11:41,723 and he come out a... Well, I was going to say man, 242 00:11:41,723 --> 00:11:43,563 but we're not quite there yet, are we, Tom? 243 00:11:43,563 --> 00:11:45,843 LAUGHTER 244 00:11:45,843 --> 00:11:50,843 Now, not only did he take the rap for me, 245 00:11:50,843 --> 00:11:52,763 but he took it for a fair few of yous and all, 246 00:11:52,763 --> 00:11:55,243 and you know who you are. 247 00:11:55,243 --> 00:12:00,283 So, to celebrate, the next round is on Fagin! 248 00:12:00,283 --> 00:12:02,203 CHEERING 249 00:12:02,203 --> 00:12:03,403 What? 250 00:12:03,403 --> 00:12:06,563 SHOUTING 251 00:12:08,443 --> 00:12:11,523 So, how does it feel to be a free man? 252 00:12:11,523 --> 00:12:14,163 Well, it would have felt a lot better if I hadn't have found 253 00:12:14,163 --> 00:12:15,683 that twerp in my bed. 254 00:12:15,683 --> 00:12:18,483 Yeah, well, you're going to have to whip them all back into shape. 255 00:12:18,483 --> 00:12:20,363 Yeah? Show them who's boss! 256 00:12:20,363 --> 00:12:23,483 Yeah? Like woo! Woo! Woo! 257 00:12:23,483 --> 00:12:26,323 How am I supposed to feed this lot if you keep slapping me 258 00:12:26,323 --> 00:12:27,363 with a bar bill? 259 00:12:27,363 --> 00:12:30,323 Money will be no object this time tomorrow. 260 00:12:30,323 --> 00:12:33,083 Trust me, I've got a plan on the bubble. 261 00:12:36,403 --> 00:12:37,523 A good one. 262 00:12:40,043 --> 00:12:41,683 SHEEP BLEATS 263 00:12:45,763 --> 00:12:47,563 Morning, Mrs Grundles. 264 00:12:48,603 --> 00:12:52,003 Good morning, Sally. 265 00:12:52,003 --> 00:12:53,563 Shall we? 266 00:12:53,563 --> 00:12:56,283 You mentioned last time that Charley needed new boots? 267 00:12:56,283 --> 00:12:57,803 Yes, that's right. 268 00:12:57,803 --> 00:13:00,763 Oh, she grows faster than a nettle in a bog patch, that girl. 269 00:13:03,803 --> 00:13:06,643 And new boots are ever so expensive these days. 270 00:13:10,363 --> 00:13:12,243 Ever so expensive. 271 00:13:15,163 --> 00:13:18,083 Oh, but how I love her. 272 00:13:18,083 --> 00:13:22,123 Oh! Do you know, she's like a daughter to me 273 00:13:22,123 --> 00:13:25,443 or a second cousin twice removed. 274 00:13:25,443 --> 00:13:27,563 I didn't see her in the field this morning. 275 00:13:29,083 --> 00:13:31,763 Well, that's because she is in the barn, 276 00:13:31,763 --> 00:13:34,283 helping the cows with their udders. 277 00:13:34,283 --> 00:13:36,843 One of them's got a bit of a blockage. 278 00:13:36,843 --> 00:13:38,283 No, she isn't. 279 00:13:38,283 --> 00:13:40,403 Otis, go and shovel some dung. 280 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:41,803 Why do I have to do it? 281 00:13:41,803 --> 00:13:43,643 Because I said so! 282 00:13:43,643 --> 00:13:45,323 If she hadn't upped and run off to London, 283 00:13:45,323 --> 00:13:47,443 I wouldn't be shovelling cowpat all day! 284 00:13:47,443 --> 00:13:49,923 Who's upped and run off to London? Charley's run off, has she? 285 00:13:49,923 --> 00:13:52,123 No, no, no. He talks a lot of cobblers. 286 00:13:52,123 --> 00:13:55,043 Mr Grundles dropped him on his bonce once too many times 287 00:13:55,043 --> 00:13:57,563 when he were a nipper. You're lying. 288 00:13:57,563 --> 00:13:59,443 She has, hasn't she? She's gone. 289 00:13:59,443 --> 00:14:02,243 You were supposed to look after her. That's what you're paid for! 290 00:14:02,243 --> 00:14:05,283 All right. So, she has run off, but it's not my fault 291 00:14:05,283 --> 00:14:07,083 she's had her head turned by some lad. 292 00:14:07,083 --> 00:14:08,563 Well, where's she gone? 293 00:14:08,563 --> 00:14:11,683 Last I heard she was heading for an orphanage. An orphanage? 294 00:14:11,683 --> 00:14:14,323 Which one? How should I know? 295 00:14:14,323 --> 00:14:16,043 I should never have trusted you. 296 00:14:16,043 --> 00:14:18,643 She wouldn't have run off if you'd treated her well. 297 00:14:18,643 --> 00:14:22,643 Oh, you cheeky mare. Treating her well?! 298 00:14:22,643 --> 00:14:25,043 You've got some flaming nerve, haven't you? 299 00:14:25,043 --> 00:14:27,803 We all know your secret! 300 00:14:29,683 --> 00:14:34,203 You stupid, stupid boy! 301 00:14:34,203 --> 00:14:36,443 YELLING 302 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:38,763 Get your latest gossip right here! 303 00:14:38,763 --> 00:14:44,643 Queen Victoria to meet own waxwork at Madame Tussauds exhibition. 304 00:14:50,003 --> 00:14:54,283 Duff, Blathers, I have here an anonymous letter threatening 305 00:14:54,283 --> 00:14:55,683 the Queen's life. 306 00:14:55,683 --> 00:14:57,043 Tomorrow she is unveiling 307 00:14:57,043 --> 00:14:58,763 her waxwork at Madame Tussauds. 308 00:14:58,763 --> 00:15:02,363 I need you to get down there and check security immediately. 309 00:15:02,363 --> 00:15:04,723 No, sir, it's the end of our shift! Yeah. 310 00:15:04,723 --> 00:15:06,203 Not any more it isn't! 311 00:15:06,203 --> 00:15:08,163 The Queen's life depends on you. 312 00:15:13,923 --> 00:15:15,083 Voila! 313 00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:17,003 Le salle historique. 314 00:15:17,003 --> 00:15:20,323 Madam, we're here to give a quick reconnaissance, check every cranny 315 00:15:20,323 --> 00:15:21,923 before the royal visit tomorrow. 316 00:15:21,923 --> 00:15:26,403 Anything I can do to help Monsieur "Blazers", Monsieur "Doof". 317 00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:29,123 Right, now, listen and listen good. 318 00:15:29,123 --> 00:15:31,283 There's going to be a big old crowd down at 319 00:15:31,283 --> 00:15:34,043 Madame Tussauds Waxwork Museum tomorrow morning. 320 00:15:34,043 --> 00:15:37,683 They look just like the real people, don't they? Who's that? 321 00:15:37,683 --> 00:15:39,923 Napoleon Bonaparte, of course. 322 00:15:39,923 --> 00:15:42,603 Queen Victoria herself is popping 323 00:15:42,603 --> 00:15:45,443 down the gaffe to have a look at her own waxwork. 324 00:15:45,443 --> 00:15:46,763 Who's that? 325 00:15:46,763 --> 00:15:49,163 William Shakespeare. Oh! 326 00:15:49,163 --> 00:15:51,723 It's going to be crammed with toffs so you can forget picking 327 00:15:51,723 --> 00:15:55,443 snot rags out of pockets. It'll be pound notes, jewelled snuff boxes 328 00:15:55,443 --> 00:15:56,483 all the way. 329 00:15:56,483 --> 00:15:58,123 Who's that? 330 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,483 Queen Elizabeth. Oh! 331 00:16:00,483 --> 00:16:03,123 What about these two? I mean, they don't know what they're doing. 332 00:16:03,123 --> 00:16:04,363 We need a big gang. 333 00:16:04,363 --> 00:16:06,523 More hands means more pickings. 334 00:16:06,523 --> 00:16:07,803 Make it work. 335 00:16:07,803 --> 00:16:09,923 If you've got any questions, ask the others. 336 00:16:09,923 --> 00:16:11,683 They'll help you. Won't you? 337 00:16:11,683 --> 00:16:12,723 Who's that? 338 00:16:14,003 --> 00:16:15,523 That is my assistant. 339 00:16:15,523 --> 00:16:17,443 Afternoon. All right? 340 00:16:17,443 --> 00:16:19,403 Do you mind if we have a look back there? 341 00:16:19,403 --> 00:16:22,083 That door leads to my workshop upstairs. 342 00:16:22,083 --> 00:16:25,003 It is not for the public. Madame, 343 00:16:25,003 --> 00:16:27,643 we're not the public, we're the police. 344 00:16:27,643 --> 00:16:29,283 Doof, this way. 345 00:16:30,843 --> 00:16:32,283 Do not touch anything. 346 00:16:32,283 --> 00:16:34,003 No, we won't. It's fine. 347 00:16:34,003 --> 00:16:37,283 CLATTERING 348 00:16:38,683 --> 00:16:39,923 Merci. 349 00:16:43,483 --> 00:16:45,723 CLATTERING Sorry! 350 00:16:45,723 --> 00:16:47,043 Bill, screw your head on. 351 00:16:47,043 --> 00:16:49,803 It is risky. Security's going to be well tight. 352 00:16:49,803 --> 00:16:51,683 We'll never make it past the front door. 353 00:16:51,683 --> 00:16:54,123 So, this is my workshop. 354 00:16:54,123 --> 00:16:57,363 How long does it take to make one of these waxwork dollies, then? 355 00:16:57,363 --> 00:16:58,883 Three or four months. 356 00:16:58,883 --> 00:17:01,443 Cor, blimey. You can have half a baby in that time. 357 00:17:01,443 --> 00:17:05,043 You're going to sneak in another way, Bill's way. 358 00:17:05,043 --> 00:17:07,443 Tonight. Tonight? 359 00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:11,763 Well, it all seems watertight as far as security's concerned. 360 00:17:11,763 --> 00:17:13,323 Secure. 361 00:17:13,323 --> 00:17:15,363 We've secured the perimeter. 362 00:17:15,363 --> 00:17:18,443 Uh-huh. Doof, you happy? Is it secure? Yeah. 363 00:17:18,443 --> 00:17:20,563 It looks secure to me, sir. It's secured. Yeah. 364 00:17:20,563 --> 00:17:24,603 So, you'll have nothing to worry about cos we are the best police 365 00:17:24,603 --> 00:17:27,083 force London has to offer. 366 00:17:27,083 --> 00:17:29,483 We're the only police force London has to offer. 367 00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:32,843 It takes a lot to startle us. 368 00:17:32,843 --> 00:17:34,443 BANGING AND SCREAMING 369 00:17:34,443 --> 00:17:36,043 Who's that?! 370 00:17:36,043 --> 00:17:38,523 It is only the wishy-washy window man. 371 00:17:38,523 --> 00:17:42,723 Now, as it happens, an old cellmate of mine works as a window 372 00:17:42,723 --> 00:17:47,683 cleaner at Madame Tussauds Waxwork Museum. 373 00:17:47,683 --> 00:17:49,843 He says that there's a skylight on the roof. 374 00:17:49,843 --> 00:17:53,283 What he's going to do is leave a ladder right on the side, 375 00:17:53,283 --> 00:17:58,443 you lot will scarper up, go in, wait out the night inside. 376 00:17:58,443 --> 00:18:00,963 Once the morning crowds pour in, you get amongst them, 377 00:18:00,963 --> 00:18:04,443 fill your boots, climb back out the roof, job done. 378 00:18:04,443 --> 00:18:07,923 I can't do the job tomorrow. And why's that? Because I'm on the run, 379 00:18:07,923 --> 00:18:10,603 remember? If I get caught, I'll go straight back inside and it'll 380 00:18:10,603 --> 00:18:12,523 be a double stretch this time. 381 00:18:12,523 --> 00:18:14,683 You better make sure you don't get caught, then! 382 00:18:16,323 --> 00:18:18,563 What's under there, then? No, no, no! 383 00:18:18,563 --> 00:18:21,603 Who's that? This is Queen Victoria. 384 00:18:21,603 --> 00:18:23,883 Oh, looks a bit pale. 385 00:18:23,883 --> 00:18:25,803 Looks like she needs a kip and some carrots. 386 00:18:26,883 --> 00:18:28,403 She's not finished. 387 00:18:28,403 --> 00:18:32,163 I have to beautify her, which is why I must get back to my work. 388 00:18:32,163 --> 00:18:34,603 Oh, only 15 hours to go. 389 00:18:37,923 --> 00:18:40,923 Right, final minutiae. Eh? 390 00:18:40,923 --> 00:18:43,523 Bill's smudging out on the roof, anything goes bandy 391 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,163 inside, you speak to Tom. 392 00:18:45,163 --> 00:18:47,003 He's number one when I'm not around. 393 00:18:48,203 --> 00:18:49,923 Good luck. 394 00:18:49,923 --> 00:18:51,203 Let's go. 395 00:18:53,603 --> 00:18:55,323 You'll be fine, my dear. 396 00:19:00,603 --> 00:19:02,003 What are you looking at? 397 00:19:02,003 --> 00:19:03,403 DOG WHINES 398 00:19:04,803 --> 00:19:06,923 CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS 399 00:19:06,923 --> 00:19:09,443 LAUGHTER 400 00:19:09,443 --> 00:19:10,803 This had better be good. 401 00:19:10,803 --> 00:19:13,243 I'm having a party. Sit. 402 00:19:13,243 --> 00:19:17,563 Your Majesty, I am sorry to trouble you at this hour, but I wish to talk 403 00:19:17,563 --> 00:19:20,803 to you about the royal visit that you have planned. 404 00:19:20,803 --> 00:19:24,523 Really, must we? Yeah. Well, go on, then. What of it? 405 00:19:24,523 --> 00:19:28,563 I seriously advise you to think twice before attending. 406 00:19:28,563 --> 00:19:33,563 Thinking once, thinking twice. 407 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:35,363 Nope, I'm still going. 408 00:19:35,363 --> 00:19:37,283 Going where? What visit is this? 409 00:19:37,283 --> 00:19:40,083 Oh, that funny French woman Madame Thingamajig has made 410 00:19:40,083 --> 00:19:42,043 me into a waxwork. Sit. 411 00:19:42,043 --> 00:19:45,083 Surely the chamber of horrors is full already? 412 00:19:48,323 --> 00:19:50,083 Bertie! 413 00:19:50,083 --> 00:19:53,243 This is my cousin, Bertie. 414 00:19:53,243 --> 00:19:55,123 Also my fiancee. 415 00:19:55,123 --> 00:19:58,123 Good evening, sir. One should not change one's plans for fear of 416 00:19:58,123 --> 00:19:59,803 what may or may not happen. 417 00:19:59,803 --> 00:20:02,083 I am the queen and ruler of the Empire so I can do whatever 418 00:20:02,083 --> 00:20:06,203 I like, which includes invading any country I fancy 419 00:20:06,203 --> 00:20:09,003 or attending the unveiling of my waxwork, 420 00:20:09,003 --> 00:20:11,363 whether I'm advised to or not. 421 00:20:11,363 --> 00:20:12,483 I see. 422 00:20:14,203 --> 00:20:17,723 Delivery for you, Madame. Delivery? 423 00:20:17,723 --> 00:20:19,283 I'm not expecting anything. 424 00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:26,963 Plaster, materials. I did not order this. 425 00:20:26,963 --> 00:20:28,443 It must be a mistake. 426 00:20:29,963 --> 00:20:32,163 Leave it till the morning, I am too busy. 427 00:20:37,723 --> 00:20:39,763 Shh, shh! Shh! Hush! 428 00:20:39,763 --> 00:20:41,083 Shh, shh, shh! 429 00:20:46,843 --> 00:20:49,043 Just finally... 430 00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:53,083 Perfect. 431 00:20:58,563 --> 00:20:59,843 OK, good. 432 00:20:59,843 --> 00:21:04,163 Frank, take Her Majesty to the exhibition hall. 433 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:05,803 She is finally ready. 434 00:21:06,963 --> 00:21:08,243 Magnifique, huh? 435 00:21:09,763 --> 00:21:11,403 Who is this man? 436 00:21:11,403 --> 00:21:14,283 He's boring. Mm, chief of police or something silly. 437 00:21:14,283 --> 00:21:16,723 Your Majesty, forgive me. 438 00:21:16,723 --> 00:21:19,043 Have you actually read this letter? 439 00:21:19,043 --> 00:21:21,083 The one that says I'm going to be killed tomorrow? 440 00:21:21,083 --> 00:21:23,883 Yes. I get crackpot letters like that every week 441 00:21:23,883 --> 00:21:25,763 and I'm still here, aren't I? 442 00:21:25,763 --> 00:21:29,003 With all due respect, ma'am, I really think you should cancel 443 00:21:29,003 --> 00:21:30,643 all public engagements. 444 00:21:30,643 --> 00:21:31,843 Mm. 445 00:21:31,843 --> 00:21:36,123 No. It is worth being shot at to see how much one is loved. 446 00:21:36,123 --> 00:21:37,163 Well... 447 00:21:38,283 --> 00:21:39,923 HE MIMICS GUNSHOT 448 00:21:57,323 --> 00:21:58,963 Right. 449 00:21:58,963 --> 00:22:00,723 Now's our chance. 450 00:22:00,723 --> 00:22:03,683 Now you sure you girls can handle it? 451 00:22:03,683 --> 00:22:06,283 Any more comments like that and your face will be having a date 452 00:22:06,283 --> 00:22:07,883 with that pavement. Yeah, all right! 453 00:22:11,963 --> 00:22:13,803 Who's going first? 454 00:22:13,803 --> 00:22:17,243 We didn't win the Battle of Waterloo by postponing an appointment. 455 00:22:17,243 --> 00:22:20,003 No, we won with defiance and courage. 456 00:22:20,003 --> 00:22:23,283 I know, Ma'am. I was there. 457 00:22:23,283 --> 00:22:26,403 And it is with that same defiance and courage that I will go 458 00:22:26,403 --> 00:22:28,563 and visit my waxy self tomorrow. 459 00:22:28,563 --> 00:22:30,083 Come what may. Hm? 460 00:22:33,643 --> 00:22:36,123 Malta! Malta? 461 00:22:36,123 --> 00:22:38,163 That's where I shall invade next. 462 00:22:38,163 --> 00:22:40,683 It's already yours, ma'am. 463 00:22:40,683 --> 00:22:42,843 Is it? Mm. 464 00:22:42,843 --> 00:22:44,723 Oh, good! 465 00:22:47,563 --> 00:22:48,603 Hi! 466 00:22:55,243 --> 00:22:57,323 Right. Come on, you first. 467 00:22:57,323 --> 00:22:58,763 Come on! 468 00:22:58,763 --> 00:23:01,963 Why do I have to go first? Cos I said so! Move. 469 00:23:06,203 --> 00:23:07,443 Hurry up! 470 00:23:13,283 --> 00:23:15,203 Don't forget. Keep quiet. 471 00:23:15,203 --> 00:23:17,843 You've got posh pockets to pick first thing in the morning. 472 00:23:17,843 --> 00:23:18,883 Yeah? 473 00:23:23,163 --> 00:23:24,443 Girl. 474 00:23:28,643 --> 00:23:31,643 Come on, you sprat! Move! Tang, Tang! 475 00:23:34,123 --> 00:23:35,283 Here we go. 476 00:23:39,363 --> 00:23:40,843 DOOR OPENS 477 00:23:40,843 --> 00:23:42,123 Someone's coming! 478 00:23:54,083 --> 00:23:55,403 Come out now. She's gone. 479 00:23:57,163 --> 00:23:59,883 Chitling. Yeah. Come on. 480 00:23:59,883 --> 00:24:03,083 It's a long way down, Bill. Come on. 481 00:24:03,083 --> 00:24:04,443 Yeah, all right. 482 00:24:08,483 --> 00:24:09,683 HE YELPS 483 00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:14,323 This place is creepy. 484 00:24:14,323 --> 00:24:15,643 Have a nice night. 485 00:24:19,403 --> 00:24:20,563 SCREAMING 486 00:24:20,563 --> 00:24:25,043 Wah, wah, wah, wah! Shh! Shut up! 487 00:24:25,043 --> 00:24:26,643 This is serious. 488 00:24:26,643 --> 00:24:27,923 Yeah? 489 00:24:27,923 --> 00:24:30,163 I ain't going back to the nick for you. 490 00:24:30,163 --> 00:24:32,443 All right? Now... 491 00:24:34,483 --> 00:24:36,523 ..follow me. 492 00:24:36,523 --> 00:24:37,563 Come on! 493 00:24:43,883 --> 00:24:48,003 PIANO PLAYS 494 00:24:51,803 --> 00:24:53,323 Home time! 495 00:24:53,323 --> 00:24:55,363 Yeah, yeah, I'm going. 496 00:24:55,363 --> 00:24:58,243 Oh, please, please, please stop. You're giving me a gut's ache. 497 00:24:58,243 --> 00:24:59,763 You can't even play the piano. 498 00:25:01,363 --> 00:25:02,443 I'm sad, Minnie. 499 00:25:03,643 --> 00:25:06,603 Sadness follows me like a shadow. 500 00:25:06,603 --> 00:25:08,283 Why are you even here? 501 00:25:08,283 --> 00:25:10,603 You've got the place to yourself, the kids are out on a job 502 00:25:10,603 --> 00:25:13,603 for the night, make the most of the peace and quiet! 503 00:25:13,603 --> 00:25:15,803 I don't like peace and quiet. I like noise. 504 00:25:17,003 --> 00:25:20,643 Dogs donging, bells barking, noise and confusion. 505 00:25:20,643 --> 00:25:22,723 I hate being left alone with me thoughts. 506 00:25:27,523 --> 00:25:30,323 KEYS JANGLE DISCORDANTLY Do you want to talk about it? 507 00:25:31,883 --> 00:25:35,203 Look, Fagin, I might be a ruthless boot when it comes to business 508 00:25:35,203 --> 00:25:39,483 and beer barrels, but I've got a heart in here...somewhere. 509 00:25:43,563 --> 00:25:45,083 Lucky you. 510 00:25:45,083 --> 00:25:46,723 I lost mine a long time ago. 511 00:25:48,163 --> 00:25:49,603 PIANO KEYS JANGLE 512 00:25:52,243 --> 00:25:53,723 That's my tea cup! 513 00:26:43,443 --> 00:26:46,483 Shh, shh, shh, shh! 514 00:27:06,323 --> 00:27:09,323 Spooky-looking things, ain't they? Look at that one. 515 00:27:13,923 --> 00:27:15,683 Tom! No, Tom! 516 00:27:15,683 --> 00:27:18,363 Oh, look what you've done! What are you like? 517 00:27:18,363 --> 00:27:20,883 We're going to get caught! What did you do that for? 518 00:27:20,883 --> 00:27:22,843 What if you've wrecked it? Shut up! 519 00:27:22,843 --> 00:27:24,523 DISTANT TALKING 520 00:27:24,523 --> 00:27:25,883 Hide! 521 00:27:25,883 --> 00:27:27,843 There's nowhere to hide! 522 00:27:27,843 --> 00:27:28,883 In here, innit? 523 00:27:39,923 --> 00:27:41,563 SIGHING 524 00:27:47,963 --> 00:27:50,323 One little sip to warm me cockle. 525 00:27:58,163 --> 00:28:01,123 So, how long does the night watch last, then? 526 00:28:01,123 --> 00:28:03,163 All night, of course. 527 00:28:03,163 --> 00:28:05,483 That's why it's called night watch, Doof. 528 00:28:06,883 --> 00:28:08,683 Why do we have to stay here all night? 529 00:28:08,683 --> 00:28:11,643 It's not like the waxworks are going to cause any trouble, is it? 530 00:28:11,643 --> 00:28:13,203 Someone threatened to kill the queen 531 00:28:13,203 --> 00:28:15,963 at the unveiling, ain't they? 532 00:28:15,963 --> 00:28:17,483 Why would they want to do that? 533 00:28:17,483 --> 00:28:19,443 Why would anyone want to kill our queen? 534 00:28:19,443 --> 00:28:20,923 She's lovely. 535 00:28:20,923 --> 00:28:23,443 Some people don't like the royals. Why not? 536 00:28:23,443 --> 00:28:26,683 Cos they got more than us, ain't they? And they think 537 00:28:26,683 --> 00:28:29,763 that we should all be equal, like in France, 538 00:28:29,763 --> 00:28:32,163 where they chopped off the king's nodel 539 00:28:32,163 --> 00:28:34,203 and all the toffs, they got their noddles 540 00:28:34,203 --> 00:28:37,043 sliced off, too. Chh, chh, chh! All gone. 541 00:28:38,083 --> 00:28:39,803 Hang on. 542 00:28:39,803 --> 00:28:42,003 What if the Queen killer... Yeah? 543 00:28:42,003 --> 00:28:47,283 Right? Is like in this room, disguised as one of the wax works. 544 00:28:48,803 --> 00:28:54,283 I read a story in the penny paper about a bloke who got trapped 545 00:28:54,283 --> 00:28:55,843 in a wax work place. 546 00:28:57,123 --> 00:28:59,443 Next morning, he was dead. 547 00:29:00,603 --> 00:29:03,483 They reckon it was one of the waxworks. 548 00:29:04,923 --> 00:29:07,483 You know what? I'm just going to go to the privy. No, no, no, no. 549 00:29:07,483 --> 00:29:10,483 No, no. No, please. Duff, stop it. 550 00:29:10,483 --> 00:29:12,083 BUMPING Oh! 551 00:29:13,483 --> 00:29:14,723 What was that? 552 00:29:14,723 --> 00:29:16,083 Shh, shh! 553 00:29:16,083 --> 00:29:17,363 It came from over there. 554 00:29:18,403 --> 00:29:20,963 By Queen Elizabeth. All right, all right. 555 00:29:20,963 --> 00:29:23,283 I'll lift and you strike! 556 00:29:29,963 --> 00:29:32,603 Go, go, go, go! Get it, get it! YELLING 557 00:29:32,603 --> 00:29:35,043 Get it, get it, get it! 558 00:29:35,043 --> 00:29:36,363 Get it! 559 00:29:36,363 --> 00:29:38,163 YELLING 560 00:29:38,163 --> 00:29:40,683 You've got it! There's nothing there! Got it? 561 00:29:40,683 --> 00:29:43,003 There's nothing there. What was it? Nothing there. 562 00:29:53,243 --> 00:29:54,523 HE BELCHES 563 00:29:57,803 --> 00:30:01,603 I need to go to the toilet! You can't. Not yet. 564 00:30:01,603 --> 00:30:04,483 Oh, but it always happens when I play hide and seek. 565 00:30:04,483 --> 00:30:07,443 This isn't hide and seek, this is serious. We could die! 566 00:30:07,443 --> 00:30:08,603 Shh! 567 00:30:09,923 --> 00:30:12,923 Now, stay quiet until the morning. Shh! 568 00:30:21,843 --> 00:30:27,323 Today, is a momentous occasion for the Metropolitan Police, 569 00:30:27,323 --> 00:30:31,083 being asked to protect Her Majesty the Queen. 570 00:30:31,083 --> 00:30:32,203 We are ready. 571 00:30:33,323 --> 00:30:38,723 Not since the Battle of Waterloo have I faced such a gargantuan task. 572 00:30:40,563 --> 00:30:43,923 You men, you will be my troops. 573 00:30:45,163 --> 00:30:48,523 I want every person who enters the building checked for concealed 574 00:30:48,523 --> 00:30:52,763 weapons, no matter how innocent they appear to be. 575 00:30:52,763 --> 00:30:57,443 There is a clear and present danger to the queen. 576 00:30:58,603 --> 00:30:59,883 Be on your guard. 577 00:31:01,003 --> 00:31:04,043 The future of the monarchy depends on you. 578 00:31:11,203 --> 00:31:12,403 Checked. 579 00:31:12,403 --> 00:31:15,163 Off you go, sir. Thank you. 580 00:31:15,163 --> 00:31:17,883 Yes, is he all right? He's all right, got nice knees. 581 00:31:17,883 --> 00:31:19,723 This is nice, where did you get this from? 582 00:31:19,723 --> 00:31:21,003 Market? 583 00:31:21,003 --> 00:31:23,803 CHEERING God save the Queen! 584 00:31:23,803 --> 00:31:24,963 God save the Queen! 585 00:31:26,243 --> 00:31:28,923 Turn around. Keep turning. 586 00:31:28,923 --> 00:31:32,403 Just turn him around. Keep turning. Yeah, he's done. Good, good. 587 00:31:32,403 --> 00:31:34,883 Enjoy the show. No, that way. It's that way, mate. 588 00:31:44,043 --> 00:31:45,843 Stay vigilant, Ma'am. 589 00:31:45,843 --> 00:31:47,203 That's your job. 590 00:31:58,083 --> 00:32:01,083 Come to see the dollies, yeah? It's clean. Is it? 591 00:32:01,083 --> 00:32:03,123 Yeah. It's pretty clean, it's a clean beard. 592 00:32:05,123 --> 00:32:07,443 What are you finding? He's got a truncheon! 593 00:32:07,443 --> 00:32:10,963 Oh, no, he's one of us. Oh. He's one of us. He's one of us. 594 00:32:10,963 --> 00:32:12,563 OK, come on. All right. Come on. 595 00:32:24,123 --> 00:32:26,563 All right, this is it. 596 00:32:26,563 --> 00:32:28,843 We get out there, blend in and pick as many toffs' 597 00:32:28,843 --> 00:32:30,163 pockets as we can. 598 00:32:31,283 --> 00:32:32,323 Here I go. 599 00:32:38,803 --> 00:32:42,963 Right, now's the time. If anything goes wrong, I'll do that, 600 00:32:42,963 --> 00:32:45,443 got to get out as quick as you can. All right? 601 00:32:45,443 --> 00:32:47,203 Let's go. Good luck. 602 00:33:06,323 --> 00:33:07,883 Enjoy the show. See you later. 603 00:33:09,923 --> 00:33:10,963 Guilty! 604 00:33:12,563 --> 00:33:13,603 SHE MOUTHS 605 00:33:21,603 --> 00:33:22,843 Get on with it! 606 00:33:34,003 --> 00:33:37,363 What? What are you doing? Thief! 607 00:33:37,363 --> 00:33:38,403 Thief! 608 00:33:40,083 --> 00:33:41,283 They're going to find us! 609 00:33:41,283 --> 00:33:43,163 There he is! WHISTLE BLOWS 610 00:33:43,163 --> 00:33:45,723 All right. Where did he go? Where did he go? Which way? 611 00:33:45,723 --> 00:33:48,003 I don't want to do this. Me neither. 612 00:33:50,203 --> 00:33:52,963 There you are. What was you thinking? You completely bottled it! 613 00:33:52,963 --> 00:33:54,843 We spent all night hiding out for nothing. 614 00:33:54,843 --> 00:33:57,443 Some leader you are. Shut up. All right? No-one disrespected me 615 00:33:57,443 --> 00:33:59,323 like that in the nick. I was king of the cage. 616 00:33:59,323 --> 00:34:01,723 Yeah, maybe. But out here you're king of the cowards. 617 00:34:01,723 --> 00:34:02,963 Yeah. 618 00:34:02,963 --> 00:34:04,803 Let's go. What about the other two? 619 00:34:04,803 --> 00:34:06,483 Let's go! Leave them. 620 00:34:06,483 --> 00:34:08,083 Hurry up! 621 00:34:09,883 --> 00:34:12,763 Ah! Your Royal Highness. 622 00:34:12,763 --> 00:34:14,203 Welcome. 623 00:34:14,203 --> 00:34:16,603 You are honoured to have me here. 624 00:34:16,603 --> 00:34:18,803 When do I get a waxwork of me? 625 00:34:18,803 --> 00:34:20,483 Oh, yes, can I get a spare one 626 00:34:20,483 --> 00:34:22,683 to take to parties when Albert's too tired? 627 00:34:33,763 --> 00:34:36,123 APPLAUSE 628 00:34:36,123 --> 00:34:40,723 After many months of hard work, I present to you - 629 00:34:40,723 --> 00:34:41,963 yourself. 630 00:34:43,363 --> 00:34:45,083 GASPING 631 00:34:45,083 --> 00:34:47,763 Yes, you may well gasp. 632 00:34:47,763 --> 00:34:51,243 It is as if they were separated at birth. No? 633 00:34:52,563 --> 00:34:53,843 SHE GASPS 634 00:34:53,843 --> 00:34:55,963 Are you trying to make me a laughing stock? 635 00:34:55,963 --> 00:34:58,523 No, Your Majesty! Do my eyes look east to India 636 00:34:58,523 --> 00:34:59,963 and west to the Americas? 637 00:34:59,963 --> 00:35:02,283 Let's go, let's get out of here! Yeah! 638 00:35:02,283 --> 00:35:04,163 This is not how I left the figure! 639 00:35:04,163 --> 00:35:07,443 I assure Your Majesty, someone has tampered with it! 640 00:35:13,883 --> 00:35:16,603 Waterloo, I was there. 641 00:35:25,203 --> 00:35:26,323 Please. 642 00:35:26,323 --> 00:35:28,963 I am but a poor French artist, 643 00:35:28,963 --> 00:35:30,123 Your Majesty. 644 00:35:32,163 --> 00:35:33,923 I beg of you! 645 00:35:36,803 --> 00:35:38,603 GASPING 646 00:35:41,963 --> 00:35:44,283 SHOUTING 647 00:35:44,283 --> 00:35:46,483 Stop the assassin! 648 00:35:46,483 --> 00:35:49,083 Check the rooms upstairs! Go! 649 00:35:51,243 --> 00:35:52,283 Oi! 650 00:35:58,083 --> 00:36:00,523 Bill! Bill! 651 00:36:00,523 --> 00:36:02,163 SNORING 652 00:36:02,163 --> 00:36:03,443 Bill, we need the ladder! 653 00:36:04,563 --> 00:36:07,563 Looks like Bill isn't coming. 654 00:36:07,563 --> 00:36:09,363 What did you stop me for? 655 00:36:09,363 --> 00:36:10,883 You were going to kill the Queen. 656 00:36:10,883 --> 00:36:12,763 I was doing it for us! 657 00:36:12,763 --> 00:36:15,163 Us? Yes, the poor. 658 00:36:15,163 --> 00:36:16,803 The unwashed. 659 00:36:16,803 --> 00:36:18,403 Up the stairs, quick! 660 00:36:18,403 --> 00:36:22,083 I had a plan all worked out and you ruined it! 661 00:36:22,083 --> 00:36:24,523 I just don't see how killing the queen helps. 662 00:36:24,523 --> 00:36:28,803 Because all of our taxes pay for her palaces and parties. 663 00:36:28,803 --> 00:36:31,363 We're forced to work until we drop, 664 00:36:31,363 --> 00:36:33,083 and what do we get in return? 665 00:36:33,083 --> 00:36:34,323 Nothing! 666 00:36:34,323 --> 00:36:37,603 I don't see her rushing to help every child who dies of starvation, 667 00:36:37,603 --> 00:36:40,563 every mother who's forced to give birth in the gutter! 668 00:36:40,563 --> 00:36:43,643 But shooting her is a bit much, innit? 669 00:36:43,643 --> 00:36:46,003 Couldn't you just sit down and have a natter? 670 00:36:46,003 --> 00:36:47,203 He's down there. 671 00:36:47,203 --> 00:36:51,363 He's down there! The time for a natter has passed. 672 00:36:51,363 --> 00:36:54,043 This is it. Hang on! In here! 673 00:36:54,043 --> 00:36:56,483 Open this door now! Open this door! We are the police! 674 00:36:56,483 --> 00:36:59,163 I wanted the whole world to watch. 675 00:36:59,163 --> 00:37:01,803 I wanted there to be a waxwork of me! 676 00:37:01,803 --> 00:37:04,243 One day I will go down in history! 677 00:37:04,243 --> 00:37:08,203 Maud Hawk will be remembered as the woman who destroyed the monarchy 678 00:37:08,203 --> 00:37:10,843 and brought about a fairer society! 679 00:37:10,843 --> 00:37:11,883 No! 680 00:37:13,403 --> 00:37:15,283 Bull's-eye! 681 00:37:15,283 --> 00:37:17,243 Come on! Charley, go, hurry up! 682 00:37:20,683 --> 00:37:21,883 Oh! 683 00:37:27,883 --> 00:37:30,323 No, no, come here! 684 00:37:30,323 --> 00:37:31,763 Right, come on. Down! 685 00:37:32,803 --> 00:37:35,043 Break it down! Break it down! 686 00:37:35,043 --> 00:37:36,923 GRUNTING 687 00:37:37,923 --> 00:37:40,643 Oh, go again. Gentlemen! Step aside! 688 00:37:42,483 --> 00:37:43,803 SHE ROARS 689 00:37:43,803 --> 00:37:44,883 Stay back, madam! 690 00:37:44,883 --> 00:37:48,203 Leave this to us! Where did they go? They must have got out on the roof! 691 00:37:48,203 --> 00:37:49,603 Come on, let's get up there! 692 00:37:54,443 --> 00:37:56,163 Hurry up! Move, move! 693 00:37:56,163 --> 00:37:57,963 Go on. Get down, get down! 694 00:37:57,963 --> 00:37:59,883 Move, move! POLICE WHISTLE BLOWS 695 00:37:59,883 --> 00:38:01,123 Run! Run! 696 00:38:02,323 --> 00:38:03,683 Oh, gate! 697 00:38:04,763 --> 00:38:06,203 WHISTLE 698 00:38:14,323 --> 00:38:17,283 All right. Fagin's is this way. Fagin? 699 00:38:17,283 --> 00:38:19,483 I ain't going back there. That man's a bad 'un! 700 00:38:19,483 --> 00:38:21,163 I'd rather kip on the streets. 701 00:38:21,163 --> 00:38:22,883 This ain't the countryside. 702 00:38:22,883 --> 00:38:24,643 This is London. 703 00:38:24,643 --> 00:38:28,403 And one night out in the open could be your last. 704 00:38:28,403 --> 00:38:30,643 Come here, come here! 705 00:38:30,643 --> 00:38:32,483 That's them! Let's go! 706 00:38:33,523 --> 00:38:36,163 He was supposed to be protecting me! Your Majesty, 707 00:38:36,163 --> 00:38:38,923 it was a temporary lapse of concentration, and one I deeply 708 00:38:38,923 --> 00:38:42,403 regret. You were acting as if you were on a day trip, gawping 709 00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:45,043 at the waxworks, you didn't even buy a ticket! 710 00:38:45,043 --> 00:38:48,763 I have a good mind to relieve you of your post. 711 00:38:48,763 --> 00:38:52,163 But I won't, cos you're a war hero or something, apparently, 712 00:38:52,163 --> 00:38:54,123 and because I'm feeling generous. 713 00:38:54,123 --> 00:38:57,243 But take this as a warning, Sir Charles. 714 00:38:57,243 --> 00:38:59,523 Of course, Your Majesty, thank you. 715 00:38:59,523 --> 00:39:02,443 I can assure you that I and my police force will do all we can 716 00:39:02,443 --> 00:39:04,243 to apprehend the culprit. 717 00:39:04,243 --> 00:39:06,363 Yes. You'd better. 718 00:39:06,363 --> 00:39:11,563 Perhaps if Your Majesty could describe the person you saw 719 00:39:11,563 --> 00:39:13,523 carrying the pistol in his hand? 720 00:39:15,283 --> 00:39:17,083 Small. Common. 721 00:39:18,083 --> 00:39:21,283 About ten years old. Wore a top hat. 722 00:39:21,283 --> 00:39:22,883 Top hat? Yes, a top hat. 723 00:39:28,523 --> 00:39:30,483 Did he look anything like this? 724 00:39:30,483 --> 00:39:31,723 Oh! 725 00:39:33,803 --> 00:39:36,923 That's him, that's the boy who tried to kill me. 726 00:39:51,203 --> 00:39:54,643 Polly, where's Dodger? I don't know, do I? 727 00:39:54,643 --> 00:39:57,323 Why don't you know? Because I was robbing. I can't babysit 728 00:39:57,323 --> 00:39:59,763 and rob, I've got enough to do. Fair point. 729 00:39:59,763 --> 00:40:02,403 Tang, what happened? 730 00:40:03,643 --> 00:40:04,763 I don't know. 731 00:40:12,683 --> 00:40:13,843 What are you doing? 732 00:40:13,843 --> 00:40:16,603 I'm pickpocketing, just to prove to you I can still do it! 733 00:40:16,603 --> 00:40:18,403 It's too late for that. 734 00:40:18,403 --> 00:40:21,243 You should have kept your fingers nimble before you muffed the job up. 735 00:40:21,243 --> 00:40:22,763 The damage is done. 736 00:40:22,763 --> 00:40:25,163 Look, I'm sorry, all right? 737 00:40:25,163 --> 00:40:29,163 You were in charge. I can't believe you left the new kids behind. 738 00:40:29,163 --> 00:40:30,563 Yeah, yeah. 739 00:40:30,563 --> 00:40:31,883 You can talk! Me? 740 00:40:31,883 --> 00:40:33,243 Yeah, you! 741 00:40:33,243 --> 00:40:35,323 The place was crawling with coppers. 742 00:40:35,323 --> 00:40:36,803 I had to get out of there fast. 743 00:40:36,803 --> 00:40:40,323 If I get caught, it's a death sentence for me. 744 00:40:40,323 --> 00:40:42,843 Fagin, Fagin! 745 00:40:42,843 --> 00:40:43,883 And you. 746 00:40:45,083 --> 00:40:49,163 What, and me! I'm the one who's only just got out the nick! 747 00:40:49,163 --> 00:40:51,923 You know we're never going to see those two again, don't you? 748 00:40:51,923 --> 00:40:54,883 They were good little learners, showed potential. 749 00:40:54,883 --> 00:40:56,923 They've probably joined another gang now, 750 00:40:56,923 --> 00:40:58,603 the Toshes or the Mud Larks. 751 00:40:59,883 --> 00:41:02,243 They know our names, where we live. 752 00:41:02,243 --> 00:41:03,803 What if they rat on us? 753 00:41:03,803 --> 00:41:05,283 BANGING 754 00:41:05,283 --> 00:41:06,323 Someone's coming! 755 00:41:23,363 --> 00:41:24,403 Hello? 756 00:41:29,563 --> 00:41:31,283 You've come back. 757 00:41:31,283 --> 00:41:32,803 Where else were we going to go? 758 00:41:33,843 --> 00:41:35,763 Anyone see you? 759 00:41:35,763 --> 00:41:36,883 No. 760 00:41:38,763 --> 00:41:40,443 So, how did you do? 761 00:41:41,843 --> 00:41:42,883 Well, I... 762 00:41:44,443 --> 00:41:46,803 I saved the Queen's life. 763 00:41:46,803 --> 00:41:48,843 So what? 764 00:41:48,843 --> 00:41:50,283 I thought you'd be proud. 765 00:41:50,283 --> 00:41:52,083 I can't eat pride, can I? 766 00:41:54,683 --> 00:41:57,603 So, that's it? That's the whole story? 767 00:41:57,603 --> 00:41:59,363 I don't even like the monarchy. 768 00:41:59,363 --> 00:42:02,603 Bunch of cake-eating parasites as far as I'm concerned. 769 00:42:02,603 --> 00:42:04,163 Oh, there is one more thing. 770 00:42:05,963 --> 00:42:08,083 I nicked this purse from Madame Tussaud. 771 00:42:09,163 --> 00:42:10,363 If you want it? 772 00:42:13,403 --> 00:42:14,443 Tom. 773 00:42:15,443 --> 00:42:19,043 You've got some competition with the old Dodger here. 774 00:42:19,043 --> 00:42:21,603 You've just bought yourself a bed for life, son. 775 00:42:21,603 --> 00:42:23,723 And you, good girl. 776 00:42:23,723 --> 00:42:26,963 Polly, open the tin of peaches. 777 00:42:26,963 --> 00:42:28,483 It's party time. 778 00:42:28,483 --> 00:42:30,483 LAUGHTER 779 00:42:33,763 --> 00:42:38,283 Read all about it! Chief of police under pressure to hunt 780 00:42:38,283 --> 00:42:40,323 down child criminal! 781 00:42:40,323 --> 00:42:42,163 Read all about it! 782 00:42:46,123 --> 00:42:47,403 Urgh!