1 00:00:21,323 --> 00:00:24,083 Welcome to Rossini's Carnival! 2 00:00:24,083 --> 00:00:26,443 Enter...if you dare! 3 00:00:26,443 --> 00:00:28,723 Fun and games for the whole family. 4 00:00:28,723 --> 00:00:32,523 Acrobatics, competitions, prizes. 5 00:00:32,523 --> 00:00:34,243 DING! 6 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:35,683 Hello, boys and girls! 7 00:00:35,683 --> 00:00:37,683 Have a bob at these apples. 8 00:00:37,683 --> 00:00:40,563 What are those? You've got to get an apple with your teeth. Right. 9 00:00:40,563 --> 00:00:42,963 Ready... Yeah. ..steady...go! 10 00:00:44,803 --> 00:00:46,243 Donkey rides a penny. 11 00:00:46,243 --> 00:00:48,843 Macaroons, scones. Come on. 12 00:00:50,563 --> 00:00:52,403 Ooh! Oh. 13 00:00:52,403 --> 00:00:55,283 I see...marriage. 14 00:00:55,283 --> 00:00:57,283 Marriage? That's good. 15 00:00:57,283 --> 00:00:59,123 It's good. 16 00:00:59,123 --> 00:01:00,643 Who to? 17 00:01:00,643 --> 00:01:03,043 Can I have a go on the coconuts? No! You're here to work? 18 00:01:03,043 --> 00:01:06,643 Oh, come on, Nance, let her have one go. Yeah, don't be a fun sponge. 19 00:01:06,643 --> 00:01:08,923 I've already told you - we're not on a jolly! 20 00:01:08,923 --> 00:01:11,683 Fagin said we're not to come back empty-handed. 21 00:01:11,683 --> 00:01:14,363 He can't pay the rent with coconuts, can he? 22 00:01:14,363 --> 00:01:16,923 Now hurry up, I'm meant to be meeting Bill. 23 00:01:16,923 --> 00:01:18,963 My crystal ball tells me 24 00:01:18,963 --> 00:01:22,563 the first woman you set eyes on when you step out of my tent will be... 25 00:01:22,563 --> 00:01:24,163 SHE GASPS 26 00:01:24,163 --> 00:01:26,083 ..your wife! 27 00:01:26,083 --> 00:01:27,443 Right. 28 00:01:27,443 --> 00:01:28,963 HE CHUCKLES 29 00:01:28,963 --> 00:01:30,403 Nancy? 30 00:01:30,403 --> 00:01:31,883 It is you! 31 00:01:31,883 --> 00:01:33,523 Hi, Bet. 32 00:01:33,523 --> 00:01:35,523 Come and hit the target. 33 00:01:35,523 --> 00:01:37,043 I'm just a bit busy. 34 00:01:37,043 --> 00:01:38,963 Ah, baby-sitting, are ya? 35 00:01:38,963 --> 00:01:41,523 Come down with the kiddies? 36 00:01:41,523 --> 00:01:43,643 Was that it? 37 00:01:43,643 --> 00:01:46,003 Eh, that's it. 38 00:01:46,003 --> 00:01:47,683 Next! 39 00:01:48,923 --> 00:01:50,723 And excuse me, sir. 40 00:01:50,723 --> 00:01:51,923 What? 41 00:01:51,923 --> 00:01:55,003 Give my crystal ball back or I'll put a curse on ya! 42 00:01:56,923 --> 00:01:58,923 Have a good day. 43 00:01:58,923 --> 00:02:00,843 So you're back at Fagin's then? 44 00:02:00,843 --> 00:02:02,963 Don't know how you can stand it. 45 00:02:02,963 --> 00:02:04,883 Bye! 46 00:02:11,243 --> 00:02:13,083 What you doing? What's wrong with your eyes? 47 00:02:13,083 --> 00:02:15,643 Well, a fortune teller said that the first woman that I see 48 00:02:15,643 --> 00:02:18,163 will be the woman that I marry. 49 00:02:18,163 --> 00:02:20,883 DONKEY BRAYS 50 00:02:20,883 --> 00:02:24,763 When she said first woman, she must have meant first woman with hands. 51 00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:35,043 That's more like it - Nancy. 52 00:02:35,043 --> 00:02:38,123 That's the future Mrs Sykes. 53 00:02:38,123 --> 00:02:40,603 Who'd have though, eh, Tom? 54 00:02:40,603 --> 00:02:44,883 All this time, the perfect woman was right under my nose. 55 00:02:44,883 --> 00:02:48,163 All I need now is a ring. 56 00:02:48,163 --> 00:02:51,003 Want me to nick one for you? No, no, no, no, no, no. 57 00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:53,283 Want to do it proper. 58 00:02:53,283 --> 00:02:55,683 I'm going to buy one, show her that I mean it. 59 00:02:55,683 --> 00:02:57,843 Rings are pricey. How you going to afford that? 60 00:02:57,843 --> 00:02:59,763 I'll think of something. 61 00:03:00,803 --> 00:03:04,603 What? Can I try that one? No, you're too small. 62 00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:08,363 Hello, Nancy, and how are you? 63 00:03:08,363 --> 00:03:10,443 Even better now I've seen you. 64 00:03:10,443 --> 00:03:11,603 Oh, yeah? 65 00:03:11,603 --> 00:03:14,403 Yeah, cos you can look after this lot. 66 00:03:14,403 --> 00:03:16,483 I'm having a day off. See ya! 67 00:03:18,643 --> 00:03:21,683 Bet! What you done with the kids? Oh, got rid of them. 68 00:03:21,683 --> 00:03:23,403 Oh, let me have a go of that. 69 00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,243 CHEERS 70 00:03:25,243 --> 00:03:27,763 So what Fagin's idea then? 71 00:03:27,763 --> 00:03:29,563 Bill? 72 00:03:29,563 --> 00:03:31,803 Bill. What idea? 73 00:03:31,803 --> 00:03:33,083 The job we're here for. 74 00:03:33,083 --> 00:03:35,803 You know, the one that's not for the faint-hearted. Yeah, yeah. 75 00:03:35,803 --> 00:03:38,243 Oh, yeah. Job, yeah, come on. Follow me. 76 00:03:38,243 --> 00:03:39,803 LOUD DOOR KNOCK 77 00:03:39,803 --> 00:03:41,683 Fagin, open the door! 78 00:03:44,723 --> 00:03:46,163 LOUD DOOR KNOCK 79 00:03:46,163 --> 00:03:47,723 Fagin! I'm not stupid. 80 00:03:47,723 --> 00:03:50,123 I know you're in there. 81 00:03:50,123 --> 00:03:52,043 How do you know I'm in here? 82 00:03:52,043 --> 00:03:54,563 Cos you're never anywhere else, you pillock! 83 00:03:54,563 --> 00:03:57,723 Right, I've got a key, I'm coming in, but make sure you're decent. 84 00:03:57,723 --> 00:03:59,923 Me, decent? 85 00:03:59,923 --> 00:04:02,283 Ha, that'll be the day! I can't wait any longer for rent. 86 00:04:02,283 --> 00:04:04,723 Fagin, I need it today. 87 00:04:04,723 --> 00:04:07,843 Not tomorrow morning, not Friday breakfast. 88 00:04:07,843 --> 00:04:10,723 Today, now, this instant! 89 00:04:10,723 --> 00:04:12,443 This is all I got. 90 00:04:12,443 --> 00:04:13,803 Take it or leave it. 91 00:04:13,803 --> 00:04:15,243 It's fat. 92 00:04:15,243 --> 00:04:16,843 Keep your fat! 93 00:04:16,843 --> 00:04:18,323 It's money I want. 94 00:04:18,323 --> 00:04:20,283 I got a husband in the debtor's prison! 95 00:04:20,283 --> 00:04:24,203 Every day I'm late with payments the interest rockets! 96 00:04:24,203 --> 00:04:27,323 His debts are chasing me like a rabid pig! 97 00:04:27,323 --> 00:04:29,843 I can't outrun 'em any more! 98 00:04:31,643 --> 00:04:34,883 He ain't well. I've never seen him so bad! 99 00:04:36,283 --> 00:04:38,443 Oh, Min! Don't you "Oh, Min!" me! 100 00:04:38,443 --> 00:04:41,163 Just get me the money. All right. 101 00:04:41,163 --> 00:04:42,883 I can't have him die in that place 102 00:04:42,883 --> 00:04:45,723 cos I was soft on you and your flock of brats! 103 00:04:45,723 --> 00:04:48,363 Where are they? I've sent them to Carnival. 104 00:04:48,363 --> 00:04:51,003 Oh, on a jolly? No, no, no, no. 105 00:04:51,003 --> 00:04:52,963 Getting money, lots of it. 106 00:04:52,963 --> 00:04:54,563 Oh, well, that's handy, 107 00:04:54,563 --> 00:04:58,603 cos if you don't pay by tomorrow morning, you're out. 108 00:04:58,603 --> 00:05:02,323 And I don't want you taking my pots and pans and my linens neither! 109 00:05:02,323 --> 00:05:05,603 I need to be able to rent to someone who can afford the going rate. 110 00:05:05,603 --> 00:05:07,283 Respectable types. 111 00:05:07,283 --> 00:05:09,883 No need for that. Bill's with them. He'll knock them into shape. 112 00:05:09,883 --> 00:05:11,763 They'll be pocket-dipping galore. 113 00:05:11,763 --> 00:05:15,243 I wouldn't be surprised if they bring back six month's rent. 114 00:05:15,243 --> 00:05:18,403 Well, let's hope they do, eh, for your sake. 115 00:05:18,403 --> 00:05:21,723 Otherwise, you'll be bedding down in the doss-house. 116 00:05:21,723 --> 00:05:23,443 I mean it. 117 00:05:30,763 --> 00:05:32,443 Ow! 118 00:05:32,443 --> 00:05:33,763 Too hot! 119 00:05:33,763 --> 00:05:35,323 Gather round, listen. 120 00:05:35,323 --> 00:05:39,203 At a Carnival, the best tent for picking pockets 121 00:05:39,203 --> 00:05:40,683 is that one there... 122 00:05:40,683 --> 00:05:44,243 Get pricked by the spines of Cactus Man! 123 00:05:44,243 --> 00:05:46,843 ..because nobody's watching their wallets. 124 00:05:48,283 --> 00:05:51,363 They're all too busy looking at the oddbods in cages. 125 00:05:51,363 --> 00:05:55,243 Look into the eye of the Cyclops! 126 00:05:55,243 --> 00:05:56,603 Nah, I hate freak shows. 127 00:05:56,603 --> 00:05:59,483 What's fun about gawping at someone just cos they look a bit different? 128 00:05:59,483 --> 00:06:02,963 They can't help it, can they? I love them. They're well funny. 129 00:06:04,883 --> 00:06:06,923 Well, I ain't going in. I know why. 130 00:06:06,923 --> 00:06:10,163 Cos they'll mistake you for one of the freaks, won't they? Ooh! 131 00:06:13,403 --> 00:06:15,483 What you say? 132 00:06:17,403 --> 00:06:19,203 You heard me. 133 00:06:23,643 --> 00:06:26,003 Oi, what's going over there? 134 00:06:26,003 --> 00:06:27,563 Get off! 135 00:06:27,563 --> 00:06:30,563 Oi! You're making a scene! 136 00:06:31,563 --> 00:06:34,363 You lot, no trouble in my theatre. 137 00:06:34,363 --> 00:06:35,563 Police, get 'em! 138 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,083 Trouble! Run! 139 00:06:38,083 --> 00:06:39,523 Run! 140 00:06:39,523 --> 00:06:41,123 Stop them! 141 00:06:41,123 --> 00:06:43,203 POLICE WHISTLE BLOWS 142 00:06:44,323 --> 00:06:45,723 Oi, you pebble! 143 00:06:45,723 --> 00:06:48,523 You messed it all up. We can't rob them now! 144 00:06:53,803 --> 00:06:55,923 Go, go, go! 145 00:07:00,883 --> 00:07:03,723 They went that way. Thanks, mate. 146 00:07:03,723 --> 00:07:05,603 Idiot! 147 00:07:07,203 --> 00:07:09,963 HEAVY-BREATHING FIGURE APPROACHES 148 00:07:13,723 --> 00:07:15,963 Oh, you're back early. 149 00:07:15,963 --> 00:07:18,203 Must be a good one? 150 00:07:22,123 --> 00:07:24,723 Was that it? 151 00:07:24,723 --> 00:07:26,923 What about the punters in the freak show tent? 152 00:07:26,923 --> 00:07:30,203 Well, we never went in, did we? 153 00:07:30,203 --> 00:07:33,643 Why not? Tom and Polly started scrapping. Ssh! 154 00:07:34,763 --> 00:07:36,083 Where is she now? 155 00:07:36,083 --> 00:07:39,163 Dunno. The police came, so we had to do a runner. 156 00:07:39,163 --> 00:07:40,523 Then we split up. 157 00:07:40,523 --> 00:07:42,403 You're supposed to be robbin' incognito, 158 00:07:42,403 --> 00:07:44,403 not making an exhibition of yourself. 159 00:07:44,403 --> 00:07:46,283 Polly jumped me. 160 00:07:46,283 --> 00:07:49,763 Why did she do that? I don't know. She just flipped for no reason. 161 00:07:49,763 --> 00:07:53,403 You said she belonged in the freak show. I never said that. 162 00:07:54,563 --> 00:07:57,123 Anybody else hear this thing that he never said? 163 00:07:59,003 --> 00:08:01,123 Right... 164 00:08:01,123 --> 00:08:03,123 ..come here. 165 00:08:07,763 --> 00:08:09,083 I've had it with you, son. 166 00:08:09,083 --> 00:08:11,003 You're a liability. 167 00:08:11,003 --> 00:08:12,883 What's that? 168 00:08:12,883 --> 00:08:14,003 You've lost your bottle. 169 00:08:14,003 --> 00:08:16,523 You couldn't nick fluff out of your own belly button. 170 00:08:16,523 --> 00:08:19,163 Yeah, that's cos I've got an outie. 171 00:08:19,163 --> 00:08:22,163 Ever since you come out of prison, you've been a box of nerves, right? 172 00:08:22,163 --> 00:08:24,203 Taking your frustration out on everybody else 173 00:08:24,203 --> 00:08:25,803 cos you know you've lost it. 174 00:08:25,803 --> 00:08:28,003 Bullying, teasing, causing trouble. 175 00:08:28,003 --> 00:08:29,323 Don't talk rubbish. 176 00:08:29,323 --> 00:08:32,123 I'm on the breadline here and you're another mouth to feed, 177 00:08:32,123 --> 00:08:33,443 and all I get is gip. 178 00:08:33,443 --> 00:08:36,323 Well, time's up. 179 00:08:36,323 --> 00:08:38,243 All right, time's up, is it? 180 00:08:39,323 --> 00:08:41,243 Get out! 181 00:08:41,243 --> 00:08:42,603 Now! 182 00:08:42,603 --> 00:08:45,123 Get out, get out! Whoa! 183 00:08:45,123 --> 00:08:47,283 Talk to me like that! 184 00:08:47,283 --> 00:08:50,723 Fagin! Fagin! 185 00:08:50,723 --> 00:08:53,243 You don't mean it, do ya? Fagin! 186 00:09:06,403 --> 00:09:08,763 Never seen him like this before. 187 00:09:08,763 --> 00:09:11,083 Things must be dark in his head. 188 00:09:36,243 --> 00:09:37,763 You all right, Fagin? 189 00:09:37,763 --> 00:09:40,323 Hey, look at this. 190 00:09:40,323 --> 00:09:42,163 Won myself a bag of walnuts. 191 00:09:42,163 --> 00:09:45,923 You know, I didn't even nick them. I won them fair and square. 192 00:09:45,923 --> 00:09:48,563 HE SIGHS 193 00:09:48,563 --> 00:09:50,923 You was supposed to be looking after the youngsters. 194 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:53,403 What you talking about? I did. 195 00:09:53,403 --> 00:09:55,323 Oh, did you? 196 00:09:55,323 --> 00:09:57,363 Toffee apple, walnuts. 197 00:09:57,363 --> 00:09:59,363 Where are the kids, eh? 198 00:09:59,363 --> 00:10:01,003 Where's Polly? 199 00:10:01,003 --> 00:10:04,043 You know her and Tom had a scrap and she didn't come home? 200 00:10:05,523 --> 00:10:07,083 I wish you'd never come back. 201 00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,803 Oh, thank you, that's nice to know. 202 00:10:13,203 --> 00:10:14,883 I don't need this. 203 00:10:16,043 --> 00:10:17,443 I'm not a kid any more. 204 00:10:17,443 --> 00:10:20,043 Aren't ya? Giddying off to the fair? 205 00:10:20,043 --> 00:10:21,803 Anyway, where you going to go? 206 00:10:21,803 --> 00:10:24,163 I'm all you've got. 207 00:10:24,163 --> 00:10:26,243 Keep your nuts! 208 00:10:27,483 --> 00:10:29,483 I hope you choke on 'em! 209 00:10:38,483 --> 00:10:41,123 Oi, you, I need an engagement ring! 210 00:10:41,123 --> 00:10:42,683 Sorry, sir, we're just closed. 211 00:10:42,683 --> 00:10:44,723 No, you ain't. 212 00:10:44,723 --> 00:10:47,683 What do ladies like, huh? 213 00:10:47,683 --> 00:10:49,243 Now... 214 00:10:49,243 --> 00:10:51,163 Er, it's too pearly. 215 00:10:53,243 --> 00:10:55,683 That was too necklacey. 216 00:10:55,683 --> 00:10:57,443 Well, that one looks like a cup. 217 00:10:57,443 --> 00:10:59,763 That IS a cup. Oh. 218 00:10:59,763 --> 00:11:02,883 Ooh, now that... 219 00:11:02,883 --> 00:11:05,763 ..that will look sensational on Nancy's hand. 220 00:11:05,763 --> 00:11:08,003 Yeah, I'll take that one. 221 00:11:08,003 --> 00:11:10,723 I think that might be a bit out of your price range, sir. 222 00:11:12,443 --> 00:11:14,363 No, it ain't. 223 00:11:14,363 --> 00:11:15,883 Come on. 224 00:11:15,883 --> 00:11:18,323 Open up. Come on! 225 00:11:18,323 --> 00:11:20,723 Where's my necklace? How did I get here? 226 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:23,643 Don't make so much noise or the Rossinis will come in and beat us! 227 00:11:23,643 --> 00:11:27,723 They own you now. Own me? What you talking about "own me"? 228 00:11:27,723 --> 00:11:29,043 Let me out! 229 00:11:29,043 --> 00:11:31,123 You're just another freak in their show like us. 230 00:11:31,123 --> 00:11:32,443 Freak show? 231 00:11:32,443 --> 00:11:34,843 I ain't going anywhere near a freak show! 232 00:11:34,843 --> 00:11:37,123 It's too late for that. 233 00:11:37,123 --> 00:11:38,763 Who are you anyway? 234 00:11:38,763 --> 00:11:41,443 Fanny. Emlyn. Kenneth. 235 00:11:41,443 --> 00:11:44,003 Don't be alarmed by our appearances. 236 00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:47,003 The Rossinis stuck a cow's eye right in the centre of me crust. 237 00:11:47,003 --> 00:11:49,003 It's rubbish close up, 238 00:11:49,003 --> 00:11:53,083 but from a distance really puts the punters off their pollock. 239 00:11:53,083 --> 00:11:56,763 You'll never believe what I've bought. You're going to love this. 240 00:11:56,763 --> 00:11:58,763 Do as they say, girl. He's dangerous. 241 00:11:58,763 --> 00:12:00,043 Proper shocker! 242 00:12:00,043 --> 00:12:01,363 HE LAUGHS 243 00:12:01,363 --> 00:12:05,963 A real oddity this time, and no additional work required. 244 00:12:08,243 --> 00:12:10,723 Oi, you, out! 245 00:12:14,403 --> 00:12:17,083 So what do you reckon? 246 00:12:19,443 --> 00:12:21,883 She don't look anything special to me. 247 00:12:21,883 --> 00:12:23,923 You ain't seen her freaky bit yet. 248 00:12:23,923 --> 00:12:26,123 Oi, mush, show her your duck legs. 249 00:12:26,123 --> 00:12:28,483 My what? Duck legs. 250 00:12:28,483 --> 00:12:30,483 She's got legs like a mallard. 251 00:12:30,483 --> 00:12:32,483 Eh? No, I ain't. 252 00:12:32,483 --> 00:12:35,243 Course you have. That's what I paid a fiver for! 253 00:12:35,243 --> 00:12:38,923 I ain't got duck legs. I got human legs. See? 254 00:12:38,923 --> 00:12:40,563 Oh, Lionel! 255 00:12:40,563 --> 00:12:42,723 You've been had, like that time you bought a mermaid 256 00:12:42,723 --> 00:12:45,083 and it was just a dead seal in a tutu! 257 00:12:45,083 --> 00:12:47,483 That toerag told me that she had full-on duck legs - 258 00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:50,203 flippers, yellow webby bits and all that and whatnot, didn't he? 259 00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:52,683 What toerag? Shut up! 260 00:12:55,323 --> 00:12:57,763 Well, we've got her now, 261 00:12:57,763 --> 00:13:01,563 so we'll have to do something with her, won't we? Yeah. 262 00:13:01,563 --> 00:13:04,483 Let's get to work on her. Yeah, come on. 263 00:13:04,483 --> 00:13:05,643 Get off me! 264 00:13:05,643 --> 00:13:09,243 You're not going to stick bits on my face and make me look stupid. 265 00:13:09,243 --> 00:13:12,443 I dread to think what they're going to do to her. 266 00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:17,283 Nancy! Nancy! 267 00:13:17,283 --> 00:13:18,763 Nancy! 268 00:13:18,763 --> 00:13:21,043 Nancy! Nancy! 269 00:13:21,043 --> 00:13:22,763 Oh, there you are. 270 00:13:22,763 --> 00:13:25,203 Can I have a word? Oh, not now, Bill. 271 00:13:25,203 --> 00:13:27,803 What's the matter? Fagin's been on at me again. 272 00:13:27,803 --> 00:13:30,323 I don't know what to do. I've got nowhere else to go. 273 00:13:30,323 --> 00:13:32,243 I could tell you what to do. 274 00:13:32,243 --> 00:13:34,043 Easy, easy, easy. Live with me. 275 00:13:34,043 --> 00:13:37,443 There's a lovely space in a corner, just under the damp spot. 276 00:13:37,443 --> 00:13:38,923 Just about your size. 277 00:13:38,923 --> 00:13:41,243 I've never lived with a woman before, granted, 278 00:13:41,243 --> 00:13:44,083 but I have lived with a dog, and you can't be that different. 279 00:13:44,083 --> 00:13:46,483 Bill, I'm desperate, but I'm not that desperate. 280 00:13:46,483 --> 00:13:48,003 You haven't got a choice. 281 00:13:48,003 --> 00:13:49,723 It's been decided by destiny. 282 00:13:49,723 --> 00:13:52,243 You can't argue with the ball. 283 00:13:53,763 --> 00:13:55,963 Yeah, the carnival, the fortune teller. 284 00:13:55,963 --> 00:13:57,843 She told me that when I leave the tent, 285 00:13:57,843 --> 00:14:00,323 the first person I see is going to be my wife. 286 00:14:00,323 --> 00:14:04,363 And that person, woman, that lucky woman, is you, sausage. 287 00:14:05,843 --> 00:14:09,283 SHE LAUGHS 288 00:14:09,283 --> 00:14:13,163 Bill, I don't care what the stupid ball has to say. 289 00:14:13,163 --> 00:14:16,443 You know the main reason why I naffed off from Fagin's 290 00:14:16,443 --> 00:14:19,563 all those years ago was because of you and your moods? 291 00:14:19,563 --> 00:14:21,123 I've changed. 292 00:14:21,123 --> 00:14:23,443 Have you? No! Right then. 293 00:14:26,083 --> 00:14:28,363 I've had it with you, son. 294 00:14:28,363 --> 00:14:30,203 You're a liability... Lost your bottle... 295 00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,443 Couldn't nick fluff... Since you come out of prison... 296 00:14:32,443 --> 00:14:34,803 Bullying... You're a liability... 297 00:14:34,803 --> 00:14:36,603 Get out, now! 298 00:14:37,643 --> 00:14:40,603 I suppose you won't be wanting this, then? 299 00:14:44,563 --> 00:14:47,603 A knuckleduster? It's better than a wedding ring, innit? 300 00:14:47,603 --> 00:14:51,243 Who wants one little ring on one finger where you can have four 301 00:14:51,243 --> 00:14:53,043 on all four of your lovely little... 302 00:14:53,043 --> 00:14:54,763 Mmm! 303 00:14:54,763 --> 00:14:56,443 Sorry. 304 00:14:57,763 --> 00:15:01,763 All right, then... Eh? ..we will have a marriage. Yeah? 305 00:15:01,763 --> 00:15:03,403 Only not that kind of marriage. 306 00:15:03,403 --> 00:15:06,043 It'll be a business marriage. 307 00:15:06,043 --> 00:15:07,403 What's that? 308 00:15:07,403 --> 00:15:11,403 Well, a man and a woman make a good team, innit? 309 00:15:11,403 --> 00:15:14,643 I mean, with me by your side, think of all the scams you could pull. 310 00:15:14,643 --> 00:15:15,843 Yeah, scams. 311 00:15:15,843 --> 00:15:17,803 LAUGHS 312 00:15:17,803 --> 00:15:20,523 This is going to come in handy, things we're going to do. 313 00:15:22,123 --> 00:15:23,803 I'll give you 50/50 on all takings. 314 00:15:23,803 --> 00:15:25,083 Nah, 50/50. 315 00:15:25,083 --> 00:15:27,363 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. 316 00:15:27,363 --> 00:15:29,603 Halves or not at all. 317 00:15:32,563 --> 00:15:34,163 Half. 318 00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:40,363 You can't leave. I'm clinging on by my fingertips here. 319 00:15:40,363 --> 00:15:41,923 That's your problem. 320 00:15:41,923 --> 00:15:45,283 I've had enough. I'm not being your nursemaid skivvy again. 321 00:15:45,283 --> 00:15:46,723 I'm better than that. 322 00:15:46,723 --> 00:15:50,163 I've got talents. Yeah, talents that I gave you. 323 00:15:50,163 --> 00:15:53,483 When you came back from the palace, I welcomed you with open palms. 324 00:15:53,483 --> 00:15:55,643 Oh, yeah, well, eternally grateful and all that, 325 00:15:55,643 --> 00:15:57,923 but I've more than paid you back over the years. 326 00:15:57,923 --> 00:16:00,643 Where you going to go? There's nowhere but here. 327 00:16:00,643 --> 00:16:03,043 I'm going to Bill's, if you must know. 328 00:16:03,043 --> 00:16:04,883 We're striking out on our own. 329 00:16:05,963 --> 00:16:08,323 You and Bill? 330 00:16:08,323 --> 00:16:10,003 You slimy pair of toads. 331 00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:13,283 You walk out of here, you're never coming back. 332 00:16:13,283 --> 00:16:15,403 Fine by me. 333 00:16:19,363 --> 00:16:21,483 DOOR SLAMS 334 00:16:33,523 --> 00:16:35,323 This is serious. 335 00:16:35,323 --> 00:16:38,763 That's Nancy, Tom, Polly, all gone in one day. 336 00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:40,243 We could be next. 337 00:16:40,243 --> 00:16:41,683 Polly's not back yet? 338 00:16:41,683 --> 00:16:43,123 What if something happened to her? 339 00:16:43,123 --> 00:16:45,803 All right, listen, right. This is what we're going to do. 340 00:16:45,803 --> 00:16:47,803 Go to the carnival, have a look around. 341 00:16:47,803 --> 00:16:51,443 If we find her and bring her back, Fagin will be happy, right? 342 00:16:51,443 --> 00:16:54,243 Now, come on, let's go. 343 00:16:54,243 --> 00:16:55,603 Sit still, will ya? 344 00:16:55,603 --> 00:16:57,883 You'll make it worse. 345 00:16:57,883 --> 00:17:00,483 Stop fidgeting, you little worm! 346 00:17:00,483 --> 00:17:02,003 Ooh, stop it! 347 00:17:02,003 --> 00:17:04,763 What are we going to do with you? 348 00:17:08,083 --> 00:17:10,283 Crocodile, snake...no. 349 00:17:12,883 --> 00:17:14,443 Donkey? No. 350 00:17:14,443 --> 00:17:16,643 Elephant? Too small. 351 00:17:16,643 --> 00:17:18,803 What's all that for? Shut up! 352 00:17:20,363 --> 00:17:21,643 Voila! 353 00:17:21,643 --> 00:17:23,403 LAUGHS 354 00:17:25,123 --> 00:17:27,443 Hold still! 355 00:17:27,443 --> 00:17:28,923 Yes. 356 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:30,443 What we going to call her, then? 357 00:17:30,443 --> 00:17:32,563 I know - Ram Girl. 358 00:17:33,603 --> 00:17:35,723 Part-ram, part-human. 359 00:17:35,723 --> 00:17:37,283 But rams are fellas, in't they? 360 00:17:37,283 --> 00:17:39,243 Even more of an oddity then, innit? 361 00:17:39,243 --> 00:17:41,363 Ooh! 362 00:17:41,363 --> 00:17:43,763 I think you're on to a winner there, Lionel, eh? 363 00:17:43,763 --> 00:17:46,243 When I get out of here, I'll make you pay for this. 364 00:17:46,243 --> 00:17:49,403 I'll make you wish you'd never been born! Baa-baa! 365 00:17:49,403 --> 00:17:51,283 Feisty little thing, ain't she? 366 00:17:51,283 --> 00:17:53,963 I'll tell you what, why don't you get the glue pot, 367 00:17:53,963 --> 00:17:56,603 I'll get these ready and we'll stick 'em on her. 368 00:17:56,603 --> 00:18:01,043 Oh, but first we need to cut a patch for those horns, don't we? 369 00:18:01,043 --> 00:18:04,963 Yeah, hold still unless you want me to nip one of your lobes off! 370 00:18:04,963 --> 00:18:07,003 Come here! 371 00:18:22,483 --> 00:18:26,043 What do you want? Fagin turfed me out. 372 00:18:26,043 --> 00:18:28,323 So? I've got nowhere else to go. 373 00:18:28,323 --> 00:18:30,203 I can't even afford a doss-house. 374 00:18:30,203 --> 00:18:32,963 BILL PRETENDS TO CRY 375 00:18:32,963 --> 00:18:36,403 It's not my problem. Find somewhere else. I've got company. 376 00:18:36,403 --> 00:18:40,563 Who took that rap for you over that house-break up Shoreditch way? 377 00:18:40,563 --> 00:18:42,403 Quiet! 378 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,963 Don't want people earwigging! 379 00:18:45,963 --> 00:18:47,563 Right? 380 00:18:51,763 --> 00:18:54,003 Oh, no, not Tom. 381 00:18:54,003 --> 00:18:57,083 What you doing here? I've come here to get away from that lot. 382 00:18:57,083 --> 00:18:58,723 Get rid of him. 383 00:18:58,723 --> 00:19:00,523 But... Ka-ka-ka...Ssh! 384 00:19:00,523 --> 00:19:02,283 Quiet, quiet. 385 00:19:02,283 --> 00:19:04,563 Let me deal with this. 386 00:19:06,043 --> 00:19:09,123 Nance, I do sort of owe the boy. 387 00:19:09,123 --> 00:19:11,483 Don't care. He could come in handy for jobs and that. 388 00:19:11,483 --> 00:19:14,603 As a what? He could do the grubby stuff that we don't want to do! No! 389 00:19:14,603 --> 00:19:16,243 Nance, Nance... 390 00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:19,443 We could use him. 391 00:19:21,563 --> 00:19:24,083 All right, then, we'll try him out. 392 00:19:24,083 --> 00:19:26,363 But if he ain't any good, he goes. 393 00:19:26,363 --> 00:19:29,483 Yes, if you ain't any good, you goes. 394 00:19:29,483 --> 00:19:31,803 Now, move it, furry chops. 395 00:19:31,803 --> 00:19:33,963 You are in Bullseye's bed. 396 00:19:35,403 --> 00:19:37,203 Sit! 397 00:19:37,203 --> 00:19:38,723 Go on. 398 00:19:41,443 --> 00:19:42,603 Good boy. 399 00:19:42,603 --> 00:19:44,683 BULLSEYE BARKS 400 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:47,443 Right, now, what's this idea you was telling me about? 401 00:19:47,443 --> 00:19:48,723 Oh, yeah, the idea. 402 00:19:48,723 --> 00:19:51,883 So it might be a nice little pocket-filler... 403 00:19:51,883 --> 00:19:53,203 ..but there's a catch. 404 00:19:53,203 --> 00:19:55,203 What kind of catch? 405 00:19:55,203 --> 00:19:57,723 It's a very, very bad thing. 406 00:19:57,723 --> 00:20:00,043 Like, go to Hell bad. 407 00:20:00,043 --> 00:20:02,083 Well, I'm already halfway there. 408 00:20:02,083 --> 00:20:03,883 Might as well go the whole hog. 409 00:20:03,883 --> 00:20:06,523 THEY LAUGH 410 00:20:07,763 --> 00:20:10,243 Help! Help me! Help me! 411 00:20:10,243 --> 00:20:12,283 He's going to kill me! 412 00:20:16,963 --> 00:20:19,643 Oh, we're too late! 413 00:20:19,643 --> 00:20:21,083 It's gone. 414 00:20:22,763 --> 00:20:27,563 We always leave such a mess behind and muggins here has to sweep it up. 415 00:20:29,283 --> 00:20:31,523 That's Polly's necklace. 416 00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:34,043 Oi, give it back! It's mine. 417 00:20:34,043 --> 00:20:36,763 Where did you get it? Fell off one of the wagons. 418 00:20:36,763 --> 00:20:38,163 Finders keepers. 419 00:20:38,163 --> 00:20:40,483 You mean Polly's in one of the wagons? 420 00:20:40,483 --> 00:20:42,843 How should I know? Do you think they've taken her? 421 00:20:42,843 --> 00:20:44,723 Where have they gone? 422 00:20:44,723 --> 00:20:47,123 I don't talk without a penny in my palm. 423 00:20:47,123 --> 00:20:50,323 Just tell us, will ya, or I'll sweep you a new face! 424 00:20:50,323 --> 00:20:52,443 All right, all right. 425 00:20:52,443 --> 00:20:54,603 They left for Rochester a few hours ago. 426 00:20:54,603 --> 00:20:57,483 That's the last stop before they leave the continent. 427 00:20:57,483 --> 00:20:59,163 The continent? 428 00:20:59,163 --> 00:21:02,003 You mean France and then Gibraltar? 429 00:21:02,003 --> 00:21:04,203 Yeah. Now can I have my broom back? 430 00:21:04,203 --> 00:21:05,923 Shall we tell Fagin? 431 00:21:05,923 --> 00:21:08,403 We ain't got time. Which way's Rochester? 432 00:21:09,963 --> 00:21:11,923 That way. 433 00:21:16,803 --> 00:21:19,963 Oh, no, it's THAT way! 434 00:21:21,203 --> 00:21:23,323 Got it wrong. 435 00:21:27,643 --> 00:21:29,243 Rouse yourself! 436 00:21:29,243 --> 00:21:32,523 We got a job on - house-break. 437 00:21:32,523 --> 00:21:35,603 Whose house? You'll see. 438 00:21:35,603 --> 00:21:37,723 THEY LAUGH 439 00:21:41,123 --> 00:21:42,563 So where's this house then? 440 00:21:43,843 --> 00:21:46,323 You're looking at it. 441 00:21:46,323 --> 00:21:48,003 This ain't a house. 442 00:21:48,003 --> 00:21:49,363 Yes, it is. 443 00:21:49,363 --> 00:21:50,883 It's God's house. 444 00:21:52,723 --> 00:21:55,283 Now, take this axe, 445 00:21:55,283 --> 00:21:57,083 crack open the door 446 00:21:57,083 --> 00:21:58,883 and smash open the collection box. 447 00:21:58,883 --> 00:22:00,403 That's for the poor, ain't it? 448 00:22:00,403 --> 00:22:02,483 You want to be in our little outfit, 449 00:22:02,483 --> 00:22:04,723 you've got to prove yourself or you're out! 450 00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:06,323 This ain't kids' stuff any more. 451 00:22:07,443 --> 00:22:10,283 You're with the big boys now. 452 00:22:10,283 --> 00:22:12,603 Fagin said you'd lost your bottle. 453 00:22:13,683 --> 00:22:15,363 I ain't lost my bottle. 454 00:22:15,363 --> 00:22:17,283 Well, show us, then! Go on! 455 00:22:26,443 --> 00:22:29,163 Sweet dreams, mutton breath. 456 00:22:29,163 --> 00:22:31,723 See you at the show in the morning. 457 00:22:31,723 --> 00:22:32,923 HE LAUGHS 458 00:22:32,923 --> 00:22:35,243 You all right, love? 459 00:22:35,243 --> 00:22:36,363 No. 460 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:39,443 What have they done to her? 461 00:22:42,643 --> 00:22:46,443 Oh, that looks unpleasant. 462 00:22:46,443 --> 00:22:47,923 Yeah, it is. 463 00:22:47,923 --> 00:22:49,243 How am I supposed to sleep? 464 00:22:49,243 --> 00:22:51,163 Can't even lie down. 465 00:22:52,403 --> 00:22:54,203 Here, lean on this. 466 00:23:01,163 --> 00:23:04,083 When do you think we'll make the crossing to the continent? 467 00:23:04,083 --> 00:23:05,323 Day after tomorrow. 468 00:23:05,323 --> 00:23:08,083 Rossinis said it were for good this time. 469 00:23:08,083 --> 00:23:10,203 For good? 470 00:23:10,203 --> 00:23:12,363 We're never coming back? 471 00:23:13,563 --> 00:23:17,003 What do you mean? We're never coming back? 472 00:23:17,003 --> 00:23:18,643 Didn't you know? 473 00:23:18,643 --> 00:23:21,003 We're going on a tour to Europe. 474 00:23:21,003 --> 00:23:23,363 More money to be made there. 475 00:23:23,363 --> 00:23:24,923 I can't go to Europe. 476 00:23:24,923 --> 00:23:26,203 I've got to go home. 477 00:23:26,203 --> 00:23:27,883 I never said goodbye. 478 00:23:27,883 --> 00:23:30,243 First night's always the worst. 479 00:23:30,243 --> 00:23:32,203 You'll get used to it. 480 00:23:32,203 --> 00:23:33,763 No, I won't. 481 00:23:33,763 --> 00:23:36,283 I'll never get used to this! 482 00:23:36,283 --> 00:23:37,803 She's right. 483 00:23:37,803 --> 00:23:39,843 15 years I've been here. 484 00:23:39,843 --> 00:23:42,603 I never got used to it. 485 00:23:42,603 --> 00:23:45,123 Why do you let them treat you like this? 486 00:23:45,123 --> 00:23:47,363 We get fed and watered, 487 00:23:47,363 --> 00:23:50,483 which is more than we get begging on the street. 488 00:23:50,483 --> 00:23:54,443 You're either dressing up like this or at t'workhouse. 489 00:23:54,443 --> 00:23:59,163 I used to be a tosher, rummaging through the sewers, night and day, 490 00:23:59,163 --> 00:24:03,803 knee-deep in bum grease, just searching for the odd groat. 491 00:24:03,803 --> 00:24:05,883 There was no way to make a living. 492 00:24:05,883 --> 00:24:07,923 The Rossinis know this. 493 00:24:07,923 --> 00:24:10,643 That is where they take advantage. 494 00:24:11,723 --> 00:24:13,523 We've got no choice. 495 00:24:15,483 --> 00:24:17,563 Everyone's got a choice. 496 00:24:21,563 --> 00:24:24,963 I feel so stupid, so embarrassed! 497 00:24:27,003 --> 00:24:28,883 I don't want to be here! 498 00:24:31,203 --> 00:24:33,043 I want to go home. 499 00:24:40,163 --> 00:24:41,883 God bless. Here's to the big man. 500 00:24:41,883 --> 00:24:43,523 THEY LAUGH 501 00:24:43,523 --> 00:24:44,843 Who, me? 502 00:24:46,763 --> 00:24:49,083 What did I tell you? Tom done good there. 503 00:24:49,083 --> 00:24:52,403 You were right. Yeah, it's a fair old haul. 504 00:24:52,403 --> 00:24:54,443 Ssh! You'll wake him! 505 00:24:58,043 --> 00:25:02,443 Bill, tell me the truth, how did you pay for this knuckleduster? 506 00:25:02,443 --> 00:25:05,923 That'd be telling. Did you nick it? No! 507 00:25:05,923 --> 00:25:07,803 No, I didn't nick it. Come on. 508 00:25:07,803 --> 00:25:09,203 Tell me, we're a team. I didn't. 509 00:25:09,203 --> 00:25:12,523 No secrets. All right, all right. 510 00:25:12,523 --> 00:25:15,883 I sold Polly to the freak show at the carnival. 511 00:25:17,003 --> 00:25:19,523 Ah, you never? I did. 512 00:25:19,523 --> 00:25:22,283 I said, right, she had duck legs. 513 00:25:22,283 --> 00:25:24,963 THEY LAUGH 514 00:25:24,963 --> 00:25:27,523 That is clever. I know. 515 00:25:28,923 --> 00:25:30,563 Bit cruel, though, innit? 516 00:25:30,563 --> 00:25:32,483 Not a very nice life, Carnival. 517 00:25:32,483 --> 00:25:34,603 Oh, don't be so soft. She'll have a lovely life. 518 00:25:34,603 --> 00:25:36,843 She'll get to travel the world, meet new people. 519 00:25:36,843 --> 00:25:38,563 She'll learn to quack. Quack-quack! 520 00:25:38,563 --> 00:25:41,123 THEY LAUGH 521 00:25:44,643 --> 00:25:47,523 They're in Rochester now and they'll be on the Continent next week. 522 00:25:47,523 --> 00:25:49,603 She's going to go far, that girl. 523 00:25:49,603 --> 00:25:52,883 Let's toast to our little Polly, duck-legged little Polly. 524 00:25:52,883 --> 00:25:56,723 Our little Polly. Our little Polly. Quackity-quack-quack-quack! 525 00:25:59,483 --> 00:26:02,083 Oh, where are we? 526 00:26:02,083 --> 00:26:04,483 This is a nightmare. 527 00:26:04,483 --> 00:26:06,563 We should be here by now. 528 00:26:12,323 --> 00:26:14,203 Where you going? 529 00:26:14,203 --> 00:26:18,203 Going back. That crossing sweeper stitched us up. 530 00:26:18,203 --> 00:26:20,923 It's your fault for trying to broom his face. 531 00:26:26,243 --> 00:26:27,963 Wakey-wakey! 532 00:26:27,963 --> 00:26:29,883 Rise and shine! 533 00:26:29,883 --> 00:26:33,163 Polly and Dodger, stand by your beds. 534 00:26:34,603 --> 00:26:36,363 Pol, Tangy. 535 00:26:36,363 --> 00:26:38,003 Tangy, Tangy, Tangy. 536 00:26:39,763 --> 00:26:42,563 Ah, not funny, not funny. 537 00:26:43,563 --> 00:26:45,563 I got ya. 538 00:26:51,323 --> 00:26:53,363 Dodger. 539 00:26:56,883 --> 00:26:58,883 Charley? 540 00:27:04,163 --> 00:27:05,643 Ha! 541 00:27:05,643 --> 00:27:07,683 After all I've done... 542 00:27:08,763 --> 00:27:11,563 ..they left me. 543 00:27:11,563 --> 00:27:13,523 Traitors! 544 00:27:22,323 --> 00:27:24,323 Idiot. 545 00:27:24,323 --> 00:27:26,803 All your life. 546 00:27:26,803 --> 00:27:29,443 LOUD BANGS 547 00:27:30,763 --> 00:27:32,443 I've broke my spoon now. 548 00:27:42,523 --> 00:27:44,683 Got my rent then, have ya? 549 00:27:46,003 --> 00:27:48,643 First Nancy, now Dodger and the others. 550 00:27:48,643 --> 00:27:51,323 All abandoned me. 551 00:27:51,323 --> 00:27:54,643 If they don't pay me, I can't pay you so... 552 00:27:56,523 --> 00:27:59,083 ..I'm going. 553 00:27:59,083 --> 00:28:01,683 OK, see you, then. 554 00:28:01,683 --> 00:28:04,443 Now you want to kick me out. 555 00:28:04,443 --> 00:28:06,323 I'm friendless and alone. 556 00:28:07,923 --> 00:28:10,323 No point in being around any more. 557 00:28:10,323 --> 00:28:13,083 Do you want to lay it on any thicker? 558 00:28:14,163 --> 00:28:16,443 We come into this Earth alone. 559 00:28:16,443 --> 00:28:18,323 We leave this Earth alone. 560 00:28:18,323 --> 00:28:20,083 Unless you're a twin. 561 00:28:23,403 --> 00:28:25,643 I hope somebody rents the attic. 562 00:28:27,283 --> 00:28:30,483 Got a couple of families lined up already, actually. 563 00:28:32,403 --> 00:28:34,123 Ah, good. 564 00:28:36,323 --> 00:28:39,323 I'm going then. Yeah, so you keep saying. 565 00:28:45,763 --> 00:28:47,163 End of an era, innit? 566 00:28:47,163 --> 00:28:50,563 What era? The era where you don't pay me no money? 567 00:28:50,563 --> 00:28:53,403 I hope you ain't nicked any of my linens! 568 00:28:53,403 --> 00:28:55,283 I don't nick linens. 569 00:28:56,483 --> 00:28:58,763 Bye. Ta-ta! 570 00:29:03,723 --> 00:29:05,963 Fagin... 571 00:29:05,963 --> 00:29:08,643 Aah, Minnie... 572 00:29:08,643 --> 00:29:11,243 ..I knew you wouldn't see me on the street. 573 00:29:11,243 --> 00:29:13,283 I need my key back. 574 00:29:21,563 --> 00:29:23,603 Now sling your hook. 575 00:29:28,803 --> 00:29:31,923 MOURNFUL VIOLIN MUSIC PLAYS 576 00:30:14,203 --> 00:30:15,963 BULLSEYE WHIMPERS 577 00:30:15,963 --> 00:30:18,443 Tom! 578 00:30:19,643 --> 00:30:21,683 He's taken the money! What? 579 00:30:21,683 --> 00:30:24,963 He's taken the money. He's taken the money? He's taken the money! 580 00:30:24,963 --> 00:30:28,083 They money? He's taken the money! 581 00:30:28,083 --> 00:30:29,883 I'm going to kill him. 582 00:30:29,883 --> 00:30:32,763 I'm going to kill him. I'm going to kill him. 583 00:30:53,563 --> 00:30:55,843 Once again, ladies and gentlemen, 584 00:30:55,843 --> 00:30:59,803 welcome to Rossini's Quirks of Nature. 585 00:30:59,803 --> 00:31:03,643 Ladies, have your smelling salts at the ready. 586 00:31:03,643 --> 00:31:07,203 Gentlemen, you better have yours at the ready too. 587 00:31:07,203 --> 00:31:10,283 I hope none of you have had a big dinner, 588 00:31:10,283 --> 00:31:13,803 cos it's bound to end up on the floor! 589 00:31:13,803 --> 00:31:17,643 Behold the Cactus Man from Mars... 590 00:31:17,643 --> 00:31:19,283 Graaar! 591 00:31:19,283 --> 00:31:23,243 ..who landed on our planet in a meteor gust, 592 00:31:23,243 --> 00:31:28,083 whose deadly spines have the power to cause thunderstorms 593 00:31:28,083 --> 00:31:30,203 and give wasps headaches. 594 00:31:31,363 --> 00:31:34,203 Beware the Cyclops. 595 00:31:34,203 --> 00:31:37,003 Aaargh! 596 00:31:37,003 --> 00:31:41,883 Now this monstrosity was spat out of Hell's back passage. 597 00:31:41,883 --> 00:31:45,643 His single eye can see nothing but evil... 598 00:31:45,643 --> 00:31:47,363 Aaargh! 599 00:31:47,363 --> 00:31:51,563 ..and he feeds on the innocent flesh of puffins. 600 00:31:51,563 --> 00:31:53,163 Aaargh! 601 00:31:55,803 --> 00:31:58,643 Oh, yes, you are right to tremble and quake, 602 00:31:58,643 --> 00:32:00,683 for this is Kandaka, 603 00:32:00,683 --> 00:32:02,843 part-dog, part-ape, 604 00:32:02,843 --> 00:32:05,523 the missing link. 605 00:32:05,523 --> 00:32:08,363 And finally, my latest attraction. 606 00:32:08,363 --> 00:32:12,843 The treat you're about to meet has never been seen before. 607 00:32:12,843 --> 00:32:14,843 Half-human, half-ram. 608 00:32:14,843 --> 00:32:19,963 Behold, as you witness one of God's biggest blunders. 609 00:32:19,963 --> 00:32:21,923 Ladies and gentlemen... 610 00:32:23,563 --> 00:32:26,083 ..Ram Girl! 611 00:32:27,843 --> 00:32:30,083 I said, Ram Girl. 612 00:32:30,083 --> 00:32:31,963 Get up and turn around. 613 00:32:31,963 --> 00:32:33,643 I want my money back. No. 614 00:32:34,803 --> 00:32:36,683 I said get up and turn around. 615 00:32:36,683 --> 00:32:40,723 Oh, just do as he says, girl, just do as he says. 616 00:32:48,603 --> 00:32:52,203 Come on, do the little jig I taught you. 617 00:32:53,923 --> 00:32:55,683 Do it. 618 00:32:56,963 --> 00:32:59,043 LAUGHTER 619 00:33:07,883 --> 00:33:09,923 Put some more oomph into it. 620 00:33:09,923 --> 00:33:12,483 I'll give you oomph! Come here! 621 00:33:12,483 --> 00:33:15,003 You see how wild she is, ladies and gentlemen? 622 00:33:15,003 --> 00:33:17,243 See what I've got to put up with? 623 00:33:17,243 --> 00:33:21,883 I hope these iron bars can hold her, or we'll all be torn to shreds. 624 00:33:21,883 --> 00:33:23,443 Think it's funny, do ya? 625 00:33:23,443 --> 00:33:25,723 APPLAUSE 626 00:33:27,323 --> 00:33:29,963 Can't be far now. You said that three hours ago. 627 00:33:29,963 --> 00:33:32,523 I've got little legs, remember. I'm tired now. 628 00:33:32,523 --> 00:33:34,283 Oh, come on! 629 00:33:36,203 --> 00:33:40,083 All right, Fagin. I'm sure I can squeeze you in somewhere. 630 00:33:40,083 --> 00:33:42,483 COUGHING 631 00:33:46,723 --> 00:33:48,883 How much for the bed? Fourpence. 632 00:33:50,323 --> 00:33:53,323 What about the rug? Tuppence. 633 00:33:53,323 --> 00:33:55,083 Look, if you want one, you have to be quick 634 00:33:55,083 --> 00:33:57,163 cos I've only got one space left. 635 00:34:01,243 --> 00:34:03,243 I ain't got enough for the bed. 636 00:34:04,723 --> 00:34:07,363 It'll have to be a rug. 637 00:34:07,363 --> 00:34:10,163 Squeeze in there next to that geezer. 638 00:34:18,523 --> 00:34:21,083 MAN RETCHES AND SPITS 639 00:34:38,083 --> 00:34:41,563 Eh, old Ram Girl's my finest creation yet. 640 00:34:41,563 --> 00:34:43,323 Oh, cease your boasting, will ya? 641 00:34:43,323 --> 00:34:45,483 You ain't stopped jabbering about that all night. 642 00:34:45,483 --> 00:34:48,003 You're just jealous because my acts make more bunts 643 00:34:48,003 --> 00:34:50,163 than your fortune-telling codswallop! 644 00:34:50,163 --> 00:34:53,883 If you don't shut up, your future's going to come to a very sudden end. 645 00:34:53,883 --> 00:34:57,043 You wouldn't dare. Try me. 646 00:34:57,043 --> 00:35:00,363 I'm going to check on the menagerie and have a squad in the river. 647 00:35:03,123 --> 00:35:06,163 I'm knocking off now. It's all quiet here. Yeah, yeah. 648 00:35:11,963 --> 00:35:14,083 Right. 649 00:35:14,083 --> 00:35:16,123 Where am I? 650 00:35:16,123 --> 00:35:18,283 Mr Rossini? 651 00:35:18,283 --> 00:35:19,603 Who's asking? 652 00:35:19,603 --> 00:35:22,083 Can I have a word? 653 00:35:22,083 --> 00:35:24,283 Who are you? 654 00:35:24,283 --> 00:35:27,643 Someone sold something to you that wasn't for sale. 655 00:35:27,643 --> 00:35:30,003 I want to buy it back. 656 00:35:30,003 --> 00:35:32,603 What was it? Polly. 657 00:35:32,603 --> 00:35:34,763 Who? 658 00:35:34,763 --> 00:35:36,563 The Ram Girl. 659 00:35:36,563 --> 00:35:38,483 Ah. 660 00:35:38,483 --> 00:35:40,963 She's not for sale. 661 00:35:40,963 --> 00:35:44,163 I'll offer you twice what you paid, all right? 662 00:35:44,163 --> 00:35:46,843 No, she's mine. 663 00:35:46,843 --> 00:35:48,843 Now clear off! 664 00:35:50,363 --> 00:35:52,643 Well? 665 00:35:52,643 --> 00:35:54,283 Out! 666 00:36:07,243 --> 00:36:08,963 It's no use. 667 00:36:08,963 --> 00:36:10,283 They won't come off. 668 00:36:10,283 --> 00:36:13,283 It's a special glue the Rossinis use. 669 00:36:13,283 --> 00:36:15,203 You have to wait for your skin to shed. 670 00:36:15,203 --> 00:36:17,683 How long's that going to take? How long is a piece of string? 671 00:36:17,683 --> 00:36:19,843 Yeah, well, I ain't giving up. 672 00:37:02,483 --> 00:37:04,283 HE LAUGHS 673 00:37:04,283 --> 00:37:06,083 Oh, yes. 674 00:37:06,083 --> 00:37:09,003 It's no use, love, you're never getting out of here. 675 00:37:09,003 --> 00:37:12,043 Rossini's clowns are everywhere. 676 00:37:12,043 --> 00:37:14,363 Don't you think we've tried? 677 00:37:14,363 --> 00:37:16,803 There's no escape. 678 00:37:17,963 --> 00:37:20,763 KEYS JANGLE 679 00:37:23,483 --> 00:37:26,203 Tom, what you doing here? 680 00:37:26,203 --> 00:37:29,323 I've come to rescue you. I thought I belonged in one of these? 681 00:37:31,243 --> 00:37:33,683 Bill sold you to the Carnival to get Nancy a wedding ring. 682 00:37:33,683 --> 00:37:35,643 Bill? Bill sold me? 683 00:37:37,323 --> 00:37:39,243 He said you had duck legs. 684 00:37:39,243 --> 00:37:41,043 You ain't got duck legs, have ya? 685 00:37:41,043 --> 00:37:43,643 What do you think? Don't look at me like that. 686 00:37:43,643 --> 00:37:46,203 I nicked all of his money to buy you back. 687 00:37:46,203 --> 00:37:49,163 Oh! Did you now? 688 00:37:49,163 --> 00:37:52,083 Trying to steal our freaks, were you, eh? 689 00:37:52,083 --> 00:37:54,363 Lionel! 690 00:37:54,363 --> 00:37:58,123 Lionel! What? Lionel! What you want? I'm busy! 691 00:37:58,123 --> 00:38:00,003 Eh, what's going on here? 692 00:38:00,003 --> 00:38:01,643 We've got a thief. 693 00:38:01,643 --> 00:38:03,763 A nasty little thief. 694 00:38:06,083 --> 00:38:07,603 Hold on a minute, 695 00:38:07,603 --> 00:38:11,323 you're a little bleeder who tried to buy back Ram Girl. Eh? 696 00:38:11,323 --> 00:38:13,323 Grab him! 697 00:38:19,403 --> 00:38:21,443 He tried to bite me! Animal! 698 00:38:21,443 --> 00:38:23,763 He's a lively one, this one. 699 00:38:36,083 --> 00:38:38,003 So what we going to do with this one? 700 00:38:38,003 --> 00:38:40,123 Stick a snout on him and call him Porky Boy! 701 00:38:40,123 --> 00:38:42,523 Good idea. In the cage. 702 00:38:45,523 --> 00:38:47,643 It's empty. They've gone. 703 00:38:47,643 --> 00:38:49,043 How did they get out? 704 00:38:49,043 --> 00:38:50,923 Get in the cage! 705 00:38:57,043 --> 00:38:59,723 Now you know how it feels. 706 00:38:59,723 --> 00:39:01,523 How are we going to get out of here? 707 00:39:01,523 --> 00:39:03,603 You're the mind-reader. 708 00:39:05,923 --> 00:39:08,603 I found their cash. 709 00:39:08,603 --> 00:39:10,243 See, I don't need YOUR money. 710 00:39:10,243 --> 00:39:12,963 I've got the money from the real freaks in there, the Rossinis. 711 00:39:12,963 --> 00:39:14,363 It's all their takings. 712 00:39:14,363 --> 00:39:17,203 Right, let's dish this out then, shall we? 713 00:39:17,203 --> 00:39:18,723 Right, that's for you. 714 00:39:18,723 --> 00:39:20,083 That's for you. 715 00:39:20,083 --> 00:39:23,243 That's for you, and the rest is for me. 716 00:39:23,243 --> 00:39:25,283 See you later. Stay safe. 717 00:39:26,283 --> 00:39:29,123 Help! Help us! 718 00:39:29,123 --> 00:39:31,203 Polly! We've come to rescue you. 719 00:39:31,203 --> 00:39:33,443 You're a bit late. I rescued myself. 720 00:39:36,243 --> 00:39:38,363 What about me? 721 00:39:38,363 --> 00:39:39,603 Eh? 722 00:39:39,603 --> 00:39:42,163 Help! Waste of time. 723 00:39:58,563 --> 00:40:01,723 Polly, what you doing here? 724 00:40:01,723 --> 00:40:04,243 Come to take you home. 725 00:40:04,243 --> 00:40:07,043 We ain't got an home. We're gaffless. 726 00:40:07,043 --> 00:40:10,043 Why do you think I'm kipping on a rope? 727 00:40:14,963 --> 00:40:16,923 Oh, my dears... 728 00:40:18,363 --> 00:40:20,083 ..you come back! 729 00:40:20,083 --> 00:40:22,483 We never left. 730 00:40:24,603 --> 00:40:28,323 Tom! Couldn't nick the fluff from my own belly button, eh? 731 00:40:28,323 --> 00:40:30,443 I knew you had it in ya! 732 00:40:30,443 --> 00:40:31,763 Ha-ha! 733 00:40:33,283 --> 00:40:36,003 Where'd you get this from? From the poor box at church. 734 00:40:38,003 --> 00:40:40,603 You never nick from the poor. 735 00:40:40,603 --> 00:40:42,483 I've taught you better than that. 736 00:40:42,483 --> 00:40:45,003 It's like picking your own pocket. 737 00:40:45,003 --> 00:40:48,123 You steal from the Almighty, he'll steal from you. 738 00:40:48,123 --> 00:40:52,843 Now, this is going back where it belongs. 739 00:40:52,843 --> 00:40:54,603 MAN RETCHES AND SPITS 740 00:40:54,603 --> 00:40:56,763 Oi, here. 741 00:40:59,443 --> 00:41:02,803 Do the world a favour - buy yourself a bowl to flob in. 742 00:41:07,683 --> 00:41:10,523 Right, let's get out of this gaff. 743 00:41:10,523 --> 00:41:12,843 Yes! Terrible service. 744 00:41:20,443 --> 00:41:23,723 A round of the usual for the gang, and our gaff back, please. 745 00:41:23,723 --> 00:41:25,763 Polly, do the honours. 746 00:41:27,963 --> 00:41:30,323 Hmm, not bad. I'm having that. 747 00:41:30,323 --> 00:41:31,843 Oi, not all of it! 748 00:41:31,843 --> 00:41:33,523 You're three months behind. 749 00:41:34,843 --> 00:41:37,603 Well, at least you can get your husband out now. 750 00:41:37,603 --> 00:41:39,203 Who? 751 00:41:39,203 --> 00:41:40,763 Oh, me husband, yeah. 752 00:41:40,763 --> 00:41:42,603 Oh, yeah. 753 00:41:42,603 --> 00:41:45,803 Oh, will he ever get out? 754 00:41:45,803 --> 00:41:49,363 Chitling, where's my money? 755 00:41:50,963 --> 00:41:54,603 Now, Bill, I can explain, all right. 756 00:41:56,003 --> 00:41:57,763 Hello, Bill. 757 00:41:57,763 --> 00:42:00,443 Oh...hello, Pol. 758 00:42:00,443 --> 00:42:03,243 What are you doing here? 759 00:42:03,243 --> 00:42:06,043 Hope you're not too sentimental about those teeth of yours. 760 00:42:06,043 --> 00:42:08,403 Or any other part of your body. 761 00:42:10,603 --> 00:42:12,323 Aaargh! 762 00:42:16,363 --> 00:42:19,883 Freedom! 763 00:42:23,083 --> 00:42:25,083 Shut up. Shut up.