Read all about it! Police raise reward for The Dodger!
£20 reward. That's a lot of money!
Police net closes in on pickpocket gang.
We're looking for a boy. Top hat, 12 years old.
He's more than just one boy.
He's become some kind of folk hero for the poor,
glamorising crime.
SCREAMS Have you seen this boy?
No. Right.
He writes to me, you know. Personal, offensive letters.
"Still no luck ketching me..."
"The Dodger."
Arrgh!
We're looking for boy a fitting this description.
I want... 12-year-old boy, known as The Dodger. Dodger?
..Dodger... You seen Dodger?
..dead.
Excuse me, sir. Have you seen these people?
Two escaped convicts? Escaped from prison yesterday?
Oh, no, we're surrounded. The place is swarming with coppers.
Nah, it's all right, they're really far away.
You're looking in the wrong end, you plum.
Oh, am I? Oh.
OH! OK, now they're really close.
I can't believe I'm stuck in here with a load of kids.
Feel like the old woman who lived in a shoe.
I can't stay cooped up in here. I'm too much man for one room.
Same four walls.
I can't be on the run. I'd rather be in prison than on the run.
They're very dangerous men. Have you seen them?
Would you tell me if you did? No.
Bullseye needs a walk. Bullseye needs a walk. Bullseye needs a walk.
BULLSEYE BARKS Bullseye, I know!
Have you seen these people? Have you seen these...
Fagin!
Get out here! Come on! KNOCKING ON DOOR
Fagin! Open this door!
Being sentenced to death must have really shook him up.
The police are coming in!
KNOCKING AND BARKING
We're closed!
It's not a drink we want. We want to ask you some questions.
We're looking for some escaped convicts. Open the door.
Bothering innocent people on a work day, it ain't fair.
Right, have you seen these people?
Never seen them before in my life.
I ain't showed you the picture yet.
Never seen them before in my life.
Make way.
Check the cellar, see if it's clean.
Yeah.
You're wasting your time.
I'll be the judge of that.
What's above there?
Clouds.
There's four floors up there.
It's condemned. Deathtrap. Out of bounds.
Is it clean?
No, it was a tip. Soot everywhere.
Needs a good old sweep.
I mean, is anyone hiding down there?
Oh, I didn't check.
Go and check. Yeah.
FOOTSTEPS RECEDE
CLATTERING Argh!
Armed police!
CLATTERING
Anyone under there?
Under there? CLATTERING
ACCORDION WHEEZES
What's under there? METAL CLANGS
Buckets.
FOOTSTEPS APPROACH
Well?
Nothing. Right, take us upstairs now.
OK. Yeah. All right.
But I ain't responsible if you plummet.
Upstairs? Upstairs, you say?
Don't panic. Minnie will sort 'em out.
Coming up the stairs with the police.
OK, panic.
Bullseye! Bullseye!
Oh, it's the police, coming up the stairs.
BULLSEYE BARKS Bullseye! Bullseye!
Can't have a copper seeing this.
Coming up the stairs with the police!
Bullseye! Come on, the police are coming.
Oops, butterfingers! SHE GIGGLES
Give me those.
Right!
Police!
That door's locked. It's where I keep me linens.
There's no-one in there.
What's through there? Nothing.
Just a roof.
And what's through this door here?
Eh?
No! Don't go in that door! Don't open that door up!
No...
I told you not to open it!
The balcony collapsed yonks ago.
Come on, there's nothing here.
Let's go.
You're going then, are you?
Yeah.
The police are leaving, are they?
Bye-bye, police.
They've gone.
DOORS CREAK
That's bought us a bit of time.
Eyeballs will all be looking elsewhere tonight.
All this hiding out makes me hungry.
You lot, go get me dinner.
But first, you gotta catch it.
Doctor Quink? Yes, madam.
Do you think I'll live to see the snowdrops bloom one last time?
Oh, yes, madam.
I've every confidence you will live until Christmas.
But the snowdrops bloom in January.
Really? Oh.
In that case, no.
Mr Fox Talbot is here, madam, for your sitting.
Countess, forgive me, but do you think it's wise
to sit for a painting in your condition?
It's not painting.
It's taking a calotype.
A what?
A calotype captures images
from this lens onto paper.
Ah, yes, a pine-apple.
I've seen one of those.
Oh, these urchins, how dirty they are.
Yes. This was taken in a slum in East London.
Do they smell?
Very much. But it's to be expected, for they have no washing facilities.
I don't know how you could bear to get within sniffing distance.
Oh! Look at that one.
Her filthy hair.
There could be a whole family of chaffinches
living in that bird's nest.
Ma'am? What?
That's her. The one we've been looking for.
She's alive.
We have to hurry.
Send someone - quickly.
Big smiles.
I hate crabbing.
They're all show and no meat,
and they taste about as good as their sense of direction.
Why does Fagin disappear in his room like that?
I don't know, but he's been doing it as long as I've known him.
He disappears for ages sometimes.
He was in there for a month once.
How many crabs you got?
None.
Dodger?
Huh?
You got naff all as well?
I got bigger things on my mind than crabs.
What, lobsters?
No.
SHIP BELL RINGS
Ships.
When we were crabbing, I was watching all the boats
coming in and out of the dock, right?
Every hour, when a new boat moored up, a customs officer
had to go on and log all the cargo.
Sorry - there's a bit of a delay, lads.
If you want to come in back a couple of hours, it'll be done by then.
While that happened, all the sailors, they didn't want to
just sit there and twiddle their thumbs,
so they went off to the pub for a few shandies.
For one whole hour, there was just one geezer - the customs officer -
in charge of all that cargo.
It was floating there, just ready for the taking.
Oh, yeah! LAUGHTER
I don't get it.
What do you mean you don't get it? There's nothing to get.
The boats come, they wait, the crew go off on their jollies,
we go on rob all the stuff, we go home, we've had a lovely day.
We're stealing a boat?
Oh, Bill! No!
Look, what are we going to do with a boat?
We don't need the boat, Bill!
All we're doing is robbing the cargo... - ..that's on the boat.
Right! Right.
But just for the sake of anybody who may have,
I don't know, missed a detail, or doesn't understand,
could you explain, very slowly, one more time?
Aww... Bill, are you stupid, or what?
THEY GIGGLE
You sent for me, Your Majesty.
Yes.
I'm in a very difficult situation, Sir Charles.
I am sure you are aware, as a monarch, I am not supposed
to get involved in politics.
Yes, indeed, ma'am.
But on this occasion, I have decided to go against protocol
and use my divine right as queen and ruler of the British Empire
to relieve you of your duties with immediate effect.
What?
You didn't find that grubby little boy who tried to kill me,
so I'm going to hire someone who can.
Your Majesty, with all due respect, the Prime Minister
and the Home Secretary are the only people
who can appoint, indeed fire, the chief of police...
And they have already signed...it.
Your Maj... Your Majesty.
I have spent 11 years building up this police force.
I have so much work left undone.
That is exactly why I am relieving you of your duties.
We need some new blood, someone not so long in the tooth.
Your precious police force will be in better hands.
What does long in the tooth mean?
The expression alludes to a horse's gums receding with age and making
the teeth appear longer.
Yes, but what does horse's teeth have to do with elderly humans?
Hmm.
Very true, Bertie.
Perhaps it should be long in the ear.
Long in the ear? Hmm.
Yes, well, men's ears don't stop growing, do they?
Even after they've died. Their bodies wither away
and their ears just plough on like giant pink lily pads.
Oh.
Are you still here?
Yes.
Why?
Let's go.
What time does he have his lunch?
As soon as the clock strikes.
Well, he did yesterday.
CLOCK BELL CHIMES
There he is.
Come on.
OK. We're looking for the shipping chart.
Oi, Chaz, have a look. Is this it?
Shipping chart, that's it.
Look, all the names of the boats coming in this week.
The Glory - it's bringing in tallow. That's sheep's fat, innit?
No, I don't fancy getting nicked for a lump of blubber.
Queen Victoria, with sugar.
Sugar!
Oh, that's more like it.
Come on!
SURPRISE!
I'm not in the mood.
Oh, but we've organised a leaving party for you, sir.
I don't want a party.
Well, at least take the card. Everyone's signed it who can write.
Sir, does the reward with Dodger still stand
even though you're leaving?
Yes, of course.
I'd gladly give my whole fortune to see that greasy little cadger
six feet under after what he's done to me.
Move, man.
Sorry, sir. A little bit awkward, but you're going to have to leave
the evidence, sir.
Right.
And your keys, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Right, move, move!
Duff, get my case, man. Yes, sir.
Sad day. Yeah. Sad day.
Are you all right? Yeah.
Duff? Yeah. It's the other way.
Yes. Yeah? Yeah. You're all right?
Yeah.
No. Come forward. Yeah.
And then you turn, and then you go.
The other way. It's too big. Can we take the door handles off?
No, Duff. Don't be silly. You've got to just go the other way, Duff.
Duff... You've got to pivot.
What?
Turn. Have you got it?
Yeah. All right.
Not that... Duff, come on.
It's the other way.
Not that...like that. Come back.
You're all right.
Yeah, that way.
No, not like...
Like that. There you go.
Are you all right? Yeah.
It's heavy.
CLATTER! Oh!
What was the name of the captain again?
Riggs, the West Indian Sugar Company.
SHE SCREAMS
Don't wriggle! It only makes it worse.
Get off me!
Charley!
Who are you? What do you want?
Charley!
Where are you taking me?
Sit there and shut up.
Driver!
Can I take the bag off?
No!
How'd it go?
Charley's been snatched.
By the police?
No, by the Grundles! Who? The farmer and his wife.
They've taken her back up north, to the farm.
We need to get her back now.
No, you rob the ship first. We need money fast.
What one you springing?
But Charley...
Charley, Charley... Forget Charley!
Tell us what's on the bleeding ship.
No.
Not unless you let me go after Charley.
You rob the ship and then we can go and fetch her.
The Queen Victoria.
It's bringing in sugar from the West Indies.
Sugar! Sweet, white gold.
Worth a mint, that is. Fetches a high price on black market.
Yeah, toffs scoff that stuff up like there's no tomorrow!
Dodger, you fetch one lump of sugar
and the days of empty guts are behind us!
HE LAUGHS AND BULLSEYE BARKS
Stupid... Stupid...
Stupid leaving card!
"..forward to ketching up..."
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait.
"Ketching..."
"Ketching up."
"Ketching me." The spelling, the handwriting.
Sir, does the reward with Dodger still stand,
even though you're leaving?
£20 reward, that's a lot of money.
I'm not well off, sir. Got a lot of mouths to feed, sir.
Blathers.
Where are you, Dodger?
Where are you?
GLASS SMASHES
Arrgh!
What in God's slippers are you doing? This is my office.
I was just keeping the seat warm until they find a replacement, sir.
Oh, don't give me that, you snake.
What are you talking about?
Look, the letter from Dodger.
Well, you wrote it.
The handwriting on the leaving card is the same as Dodger's.
You had us all thinking you were looking for a boy who could write,
a boy who lives south of the river.
Why would I do that, sir?
So that you could stay one step ahead of us,
find Dodger, keep the reward,
line your own pockets.
But I can't keep the reward now, can I, sir?
Police aren't allowed.
Well, someone else could.
Someone who you put up to it.
Yes, I knew it.
I've faced down hundreds of criminals in my time.
I can see when a man has got something to hide.
You...
..are a disgrace to my police force.
And to think you were lying all the time, and for what? Greed.
Greed?
I need the money!
We get paid peanuts here.
I've got 11 kids and a wife with only one leg.
How else am I supposed to put crumbs on the table?
These are the only clothes I own.
Part of the reason why I took this job was to get a decent
pair of boots.
I've got wear this garb and get spat at on a Sunday,
same as every other day of the week.
But I don't suppose you would understand that, sir -
you and your fancy clothes and your theatre tickets.
Breaking and entering.
Criminal damage.
I've got a good mind to arrest you, sir.
HE LAUGHS
Bribery and obstruction of justice - that won't go down well in court.
Even though everyone was looking the other way,
you still couldn't find The Dodger.
But I will, even if it kills me.
And when I'm done with him...
..I'm coming for you.
Don't worry, Charley, I'll bring you back home.
Stir yourself. We've arrived.
We did what you asked. We got her back.
Now maybe you won't throw us off the farm, eh?
Are we square?
Yeah. Now, go. Go on.
I'm not going with them?
No, there's someone who wants to meet you.
Who'd want to meet her? THEY CHUCKLE
Eh...
..do we get a ride home in your nice carriage?
You've got legs, haven't you? Walk.
Cheeky...
Come on.
Go on, the Countess is waiting.
What does a countess want to see me for?
Come in, urchin.
SHE GASPS
You have his eyes.
Whose eyes?
And his hair. Whose hair?!
You look just like your father.
What?
Your father.
How did you know me dad?
Even I don't know me dad, and he's me dad.
I begat you.
You what?
I birthed you.
Eh?
Damn it, girl, I'm your mother.
I can't take it in.
She can't be my mother -
that pasty thing in the greenhouse?
She is. How?
When the Countess were 18, her father put on
a ball to celebrate.
So, of course, they needed musicians.
One of them was called Zafar.
The Countess was rather taken by him.
She became pregnant.
Take it away. I don't want to see it.
We arranged to take you to the best family we could find.
They promised me they would look after you like their own.
I shall call it Charley, after my favourite pig.
Don't worry, it's in safe hands.
What happened to me dad?
He never came back again.
I don't like pickle.
Morning, Sir Charles.
Thank you, Miss Piptree.
Leave my morning foods there.
Oh, what's all this?
I'm still looking for that juvenile delinquent they call Dodger.
Oh, him. Yeah.
Little wretch.
All my friends are scared to walk the streets in case he strikes.
Yeah, I think he's part of a gang who dwells in this area.
But we've searched every building, every tunnel, every cellar, and...
..nothing.
I suppose you've tried The Three Tipples, have you?
The Three Tipples? It's a tavern around the back of the docks.
I used to work nearby, in the orphanage.
We had some children from there once.
They'd escaped from a strange fellow who lived above the pub.
Above the pub, you say?
Yeah, up in the roof. That's where they slept, ate, everything.
He trained them to be pickpockets, just like your Dodger fella.
There isn't a pub or tavern called The Three Tipples.
Oh. Mind you, I am going back years.
It might be long gone by now.
Anyway, I'll leave you to it.
Wait...
The Three Tipples.
It's the same pub.
They changed the name.
So, one more time, how are we going to rob the boat?
I'm getting the sailors. Polly, you're going to be on lookout.
Minnie, you're going to help Bill keep the sailors busy.
Hey, sailors love a bet. Let's crack open the cards! Ha-ha!
Dodger, give us your pack. Come on.
Don't lose them, they're special.
Now, Tang, I need you under this table.
You're going to slip the watches out of the pockets and you're going
to stop the watch. Can I steal one? No, no.
Now, I know it feels very wrong not to nick, but you've got to put
everything back. When they look at their clocks,
it's got to be like they've got all the time in the world.
Now, once Minnie bolts that door and she shouts, "Lock-in",
Dodger and Tom get down to the docks sharpish.
Tom ties up the customs officer, Dodger, you rob the boat.
We're going to be drowning in sugar by this time tonight.
LAUGHTER
Why can't I go in the boat? I'm more experienced.
Because Dodger's niftier than you, and Fagin says
you've lost your bottle.
Lost my bottle, have I?
Yes. How do you think it feels when you lot call me a failure?
Eh?
I've done time for you, remember?
Anyway, don't know why you're listening to Fagin.
He's a wreck. He's quivering in his room right now. He's abandoned you.
He's abandoned all of us.
Stop whingeing! And you'll do as you're told!
You, boy, once you're on board, you stuff your sack
and you come right back here.
As soon as you're here,
we'll let the sailors go, none the wiser.
Let's go.
Come on! Move!
Captain Riggs, Queen Victoria. Ah, Captain Riggs.
Sorry, there's a backlog. Come back about two. Should be done by then.
Very well.
Hello, boys. Any of you lads feeling thirsty?
Can I recommend the Fiddler's Arms? Best tavern in London,
and all the food and drink is half price for sailors.
I don't need the best tavern, just the nearest.
It is the nearest.
That's the nearest.
Ah, well, that might be the nearest, but it's the worstest.
I mean, that's if you want rat pee on your fish and chips.
They use it to top up the vinegar.
Just saying.
Lead the way.
As you can see, urchin,
I'm dying, and my sins sit heavy upon my soul.
My pastor has told me I must ask your forgiveness
if I am to pass into the Kingdom of Heaven.
Forgiveness for what?
Abandoning you as a babe in arms.
So that's why you wanted me back?
So you could die without me sitting on your guilty conscience.
Well, do I have your forgiveness?
No. I beg your pardon?
I don't forgive you.
Oh, don't be ridiculous, urchin.
Give me your forgiveness at once.
You're only doing this for yourself.
You never for one second thought about me.
Say you forgive me.
No! You're ashamed of me.
You left me to rot on that farm like a turnip!
Well, I'm not a turnip, and I don't forgive you.
What do you want? Money?
Just take me home.
Is that it?
It might not seem much to you, with your mansions
and your fancy plants, but it's all I want.
Although I will have that.
Come back here!
Forgive me!
Not far now, boys.
Just along here.
I thought you said the tavern was round the corner.
It is round the corner. I just didn't say what corner.
They're coming! Get ready!
And this is the one.
Here we go, lads. The finest tavern in London.
This is the finest? I'd hate to see the worst.
This is my gaff you're talking about.
Welcome, welcome, lovely sailors, to London Town.
Five drinks - on the house.
HE CLEARS THROAT
We can't drink this.
What's wrong with it?
It's ale. We don't drink.
What? You said you were thirsty.
Yes. Not for booze!
We have to keep a clear head for the journey back.
Five lemonades, please.
Lemonade?!
Are you sure you don't want anything stronger?
Lemonade will be fine.
OK, yeah, sure.
Lemonade. Lemonade it is.
Gentlemen, come and join me on the finest table.
HE CHUCKLES
Have a seat, lads, have a seat.
Is that a lemon? No.
Sorry, sir, it's a lock-in. No admittance.
Gentlemen, how about a game of cards?
We don't gamble.
Oh.
Which nunnery did you find this lot at?
Sailors that don't drink or gamble.
I've got an idea.
Why not play for charity?
A worthy cause.
What cause?
Seasick sailors?
Wonky dogs.
Well, if it's for a good cause, we can play.
OK! It's a lock-in!
Dodger, you've got exactly one hour. Go, go, go!
Right. Do you know pontoon?
Of course.
OK, I'll start. Bill, you deal.
Aye-aye, captain.
FORCED LAUGHTER
Because you're a captain.
You're a captain.
Should we deal the cards? HE CHUCKLES
Have you got the crowbars?
I thought you brought them.
I thought you were supposed to get them.
No, I told you to bring them. No, you were supposed to get them!
Now, go get them. Go to the lair and I'll meet you there, all right?
Why do I have to... Just...GO!
Twist.
Twist. Stick. No.
Twist.
But you must have been bust by now. No, sir! Twist on.
Twist.
Yes! I win. 21. SHE CHUCKLES
You cards need to add up to 21.
They do.
One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine, ten,
11, 12, 13, 14, 15,
16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21!
No, the value of the cards needs to add up to 21,
not the number of cards!
Oh, yeah, that's pontoon. This is "pontewn".
Completely different rules.
We need to head back to the ship in, er...
Oh, but it's earlier than I thought.
Let's play another game.
I want a game that requires skill and mental agility.
A game that stretches the intellect
and utilises all the cunning that one possesses.
Snap! Yes!
Oh, excuse me.
Is that the Queen Victoria? I forgot my specs.
Oh, no, that's the Victoria Queen, convict ship.
It's full of the worst fellas in London.
It's going to Australia.
Oh, right. Queen Victoria is down there.
Blue bow. You can't miss it.
You don't want to get them mixed up.
There he is.
Like a rat in a trap.
You're the... Chief of police.
Yes. Well, I was.
Thanks to you, everything I ever stood for
was thrown out of the window,
like gut sluice from a chamber pot.
But...
..I've got you now.
Game over.
Look, I'm not as bad as you think I am.
I'm just trying to get by.
Oh, spare me the poor little urchin speech.
You stole my mother.
Where is she?
Sell her, did you?
I never sold her!
I was actually going to give her back.
Oh, stop lying for once.
No-one ever believes me.
You can't see any good in me, can you?
No, I can't.
Suppose I should thank you, really.
What? You made me.
What on Earth are you talking about?
You're the one who slapped the posters of my mug all over town.
Got my name out there.
People on the far side of London whose pockets
are never so much as tickled
are looking behind them,
thinking Dodger's out to get them.
Before you, I was just a boy who nicked stuff.
Now...
..I'm a legend.
Oh, be quiet, boy. You can't jabber your way out of this one.
You are going to swing
and I'm going to watch every second with pleasure.
Fagin. Well, we seem to have a visitor.
Looks like it's curtains for us.
Bedspreads too.
Where's the rest of your men?
I came alone.
This is my beef. My business.
I want Dodger.
So, er, no back-up?
No, I don't intend to share my prize.
Anyway, it turns out you can't trust anyone. Now...
..are you going to come quietly?
Well, since you've got this piece of steel and that look in your eye,
I don't think I've got any choice.
Good. I'm going to have to handcuff you, you know that.
The law's the law. Fair's fair.
Fagin. Shut up.
Boy?
You want me...?
Cuff him.
Come on. Fagin...?
Do it, Dodger. He's serious.
Right.
Come here, boy.
Show me your wrists.
No. No, I won't!
Dodger, listen to the gentleman.
I'm arresting you for petty theft, grand theft,
attempted assassination of the monarch,
treason, breaking and entering,
impersonating a person of substance,
theft of ancient artefacts,
desecration of said ancient artefacts,
the making of forged money,
and the theft of my mother.
Right, come on.
It's the hangman for you both.
I suppose you'll want to
take us out main door and humiliate us
in front of the whole street.
Indeed. Right, this way.
Come on, boy.
Would you mind?
That door.
No!
Leave him, Dodger. Let him swing.
Help me!
Only if you let him go.
Over...
..my...
..dead...
Fagin, we can... No!
..body.
No!
HE CHUCKLES
I nicked the key from his pocket, didn't I?
I told you you'd never be as fast as me.
Lightest fingers in the milky universe.
You've just killed the chief of police.
I didn't kill anyone. I gave him his chance, he didn't take it.
We just stood there.
We could have helped him.
Jack!
For once in your life, listen.
I've lost so much - so much that means something to me.
I'm not prepared to lose you as well, and certainly not
for some unhinged mutton shunter. Understand?
Now, get down the docks and make us all millionaires.
I'll try.
Good boy.
DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES
Tom! What kept ya?!
Don't worry about it. Is this the ship?
Yeah.
What about the customs officer? Taken care of.
Right, then. I'll see you in a minute.
Yeah, yeah, I'll see you in a minute.
Don't forget to rattle if the sailors come back.
I won't.
Tom, you've got some competition with the old Dodger, here.
Dodger's not one of our own, though, is he?
All he cares about is getting in Fagin's good books.
Dodger's niftier than you, and Fagin says
you've lost your bottle.
Snap! SHE LAUGHS
CHURCH BELL RINGS Hold on.
Did I just hear a church bell?
No! No, no, no, no, no.
You might just have a bit of water in your ears.
But wait...
The clock tower says two o'clock.
Er...that's just a painting.
You made a painting go bong?!
My watch has stopped!
Mine too.
And mine. Mine too. Mine too.
Well, what are you waiting for? Get back to the ship!
No, no, no, no, no... No, no, no...
How many times have I told you? It's a lock-in. You can't go inside.
Move! SHOUTING
Move! We don't have time for this!
What about Dodger?!
SHIP CREAKS
No! no, no, no!
Where's Blathers? He's in there. In there? Yeah.
DOOR OPENS
It's Sir Charles.
He's had an accident. What? I think he's a goner.
Oh. Quick!
Get back to the ship! Look what time it is!
The sailors are coming. Where's Dodger?
Er... He's gone. He's gone!
The ship has gone. The ship's gone and he's on it.
Hello. You want to see a card trick?
Oh.
HE GULPS
Stop, this is it.
Fiddler's Arms. Home.
Charley, if you need anything,
you know where to find me.
I don't need anyone.
DOG WHINES
Where's Dodger?
It's too late. We've lost him.
He's gone.
Jack?
Nice to meet you.
I'm Dodger.