1 00:00:46,539 --> 00:00:49,041 {\an8}(英國,布里斯托) 2 00:00:50,209 --> 00:00:53,796 {\an8}(平安夜) 3 00:01:09,311 --> 00:01:10,312 再一杯? 4 00:01:10,396 --> 00:01:13,315 我還站得直挺挺的,當然要 5 00:01:20,072 --> 00:01:22,408 (伯尼祝你聖誕快樂) 6 00:01:23,659 --> 00:01:24,743 呵呵 7 00:01:27,371 --> 00:01:28,873 一品脫啤酒 8 00:01:30,958 --> 00:01:32,167 剛下班? 9 00:01:37,506 --> 00:01:41,343 等等還要輪班,也算是一種下班啦 10 00:01:41,427 --> 00:01:42,970 你不會要開車吧? 11 00:01:43,053 --> 00:01:45,931 我只要控制方向,都是馴鹿在跑 12 00:01:49,727 --> 00:01:54,523 這是我第四年扮聖誕老人了,你呢? 13 00:01:55,065 --> 00:01:56,233 數不清了 14 00:01:57,651 --> 00:02:00,487 我都忘了一開始幹嘛要做這件事 15 00:02:00,571 --> 00:02:02,990 跟所有人一樣吧 16 00:02:04,033 --> 00:02:05,451 為了錢 17 00:02:05,534 --> 00:02:07,036 錢哪… 18 00:02:08,620 --> 00:02:10,915 整座星球根本靠貪婪在運轉 19 00:02:14,877 --> 00:02:17,129 孩子臉上的表情很棒吧? 20 00:02:17,213 --> 00:02:18,881 那是支持我的動力 21 00:02:18,964 --> 00:02:21,050 表情啊,說得對 22 00:02:22,801 --> 00:02:24,762 大概開心兩秒吧 23 00:02:24,845 --> 00:02:29,183 一拆開禮物,他們就想要下一個 24 00:02:29,725 --> 00:02:32,019 只想要更新的酷東西 25 00:02:32,519 --> 00:02:34,355 這世界就是這麼回事 26 00:02:34,438 --> 00:02:39,568 瞧這些孩子都變成什麼了, 一群小廢物 27 00:02:40,569 --> 00:02:44,990 一堆小混蛋,只想要求,不願相信 28 00:02:45,074 --> 00:02:48,202 他們只會要個不停,拼命消費 29 00:02:53,749 --> 00:02:55,709 這可能是我最後一年吧 30 00:02:58,212 --> 00:02:59,755 最後一個聖誕節 31 00:03:04,134 --> 00:03:08,013 我可受不了又看到一個聖誕老人崩潰 32 00:03:08,597 --> 00:03:11,058 他的酒錢算我的吧 -好 33 00:03:11,141 --> 00:03:13,227 你人真好,謝啦 34 00:03:14,353 --> 00:03:15,729 我得走了 35 00:03:16,939 --> 00:03:19,275 禮物可不會自己飛出去 36 00:03:22,069 --> 00:03:23,904 這是妳孫子的,省得我跑一趟 37 00:03:24,363 --> 00:03:26,532 是他想要的新電玩 38 00:03:26,615 --> 00:03:29,368 太空歷險什麼的,我搞不清楚 39 00:03:29,451 --> 00:03:30,452 (給麥奇 聖誕老人贈) 40 00:03:30,536 --> 00:03:31,537 聖誕快… 41 00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:33,831 你怎麼知道我孫子的名字? 42 00:03:35,207 --> 00:03:37,084 你怎麼知道我有孫子? 43 00:03:37,793 --> 00:03:38,919 欸! 44 00:03:39,587 --> 00:03:41,797 那扇門是去屋頂的! 45 00:03:41,881 --> 00:03:43,215 醉鬼 46 00:03:43,299 --> 00:03:45,718 算了吧,現在是聖誕節啊 47 00:03:48,012 --> 00:03:49,013 嘿! 48 00:03:49,513 --> 00:03:51,390 你不能上來這裡 49 00:03:51,473 --> 00:03:54,059 要是你摔下去,我可就… 50 00:04:14,872 --> 00:04:16,332 我的天 51 00:04:23,172 --> 00:04:24,173 真是… 52 00:04:26,258 --> 00:04:27,509 美… 53 00:04:51,450 --> 00:04:54,286 {\an8}(康乃狄克州,格林威治) 54 00:04:56,413 --> 00:04:57,873 (媽) 55 00:05:14,598 --> 00:05:16,308 嗨,是我 56 00:05:17,142 --> 00:05:19,061 她在這邊,我的小可愛 57 00:05:20,145 --> 00:05:21,814 我們去看奶奶了 58 00:05:26,735 --> 00:05:27,736 聖誕快樂 59 00:05:30,322 --> 00:05:32,324 聖誕快樂,楚蒂,過來 60 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:37,788 聖誕快樂,爸拔,“你這禽獸” 61 00:05:39,164 --> 00:05:41,500 她熬夜看《小鬼當家》了 62 00:05:41,584 --> 00:05:43,627 好喔 -那部片超好笑 63 00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:46,964 對 -那… 64 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,257 有點刺耳 65 00:05:48,340 --> 00:05:49,508 整個早上都這樣 -好 66 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:51,176 謝謝妳 67 00:05:52,636 --> 00:05:53,762 願意這麼做 68 00:05:54,555 --> 00:05:55,848 我不是為了你 69 00:05:58,350 --> 00:06:00,477 聖誕節要到了! -對! 70 00:06:20,623 --> 00:06:23,167 聖誕快樂,艾爾 -琳達,聖誕快樂 71 00:06:23,250 --> 00:06:25,211 萊史東先生 -嗨,艾爾 72 00:06:25,294 --> 00:06:26,378 楚蒂,妳在後座嗎? 73 00:06:27,129 --> 00:06:30,257 妳一定很期待聖誕節 -你要什麼禮物? 74 00:06:30,341 --> 00:06:31,926 平安夜不要上班 75 00:06:32,009 --> 00:06:34,136 但我今年太淘氣了,所以沒拿到禮物 76 00:06:35,054 --> 00:06:37,223 那你要記得讓聖誕老人進來喔 77 00:06:37,306 --> 00:06:38,849 好 -祝你們開心 78 00:06:38,933 --> 00:06:40,809 聖誕快樂 -聖誕快樂,艾爾 79 00:06:40,893 --> 00:06:42,853 聖誕快樂,楚蒂 80 00:06:42,937 --> 00:06:44,146 謝謝你,艾爾 -小事 81 00:07:13,259 --> 00:07:16,470 呵呵呵,聖誕快樂 82 00:07:17,012 --> 00:07:18,889 希望你在乖小孩名單上 83 00:07:35,322 --> 00:07:36,657 這是怎樣? 84 00:07:37,157 --> 00:07:39,326 你們是全世界最爛的外燴公司 85 00:07:39,410 --> 00:07:41,370 我說的是長不是寬 86 00:07:41,453 --> 00:07:42,580 真是的 87 00:07:59,805 --> 00:08:00,931 好 88 00:08:01,015 --> 00:08:03,100 大家好,聖誕快樂 89 00:08:03,601 --> 00:08:05,311 嗨 -不用了,謝謝你 90 00:08:05,394 --> 00:08:06,645 這看起來很棒 91 00:08:08,147 --> 00:08:11,400 我永遠不會習慣你是這樣長大的 92 00:08:12,902 --> 00:08:15,362 我的心理師也說我放不下這些 93 00:08:16,238 --> 00:08:17,698 我得喝一杯 94 00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,747 妳看這個 95 00:08:34,381 --> 00:08:36,467 嗨,琳達 -妳好 96 00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:38,344 最近好嗎,愛芙? 97 00:08:39,261 --> 00:08:40,679 妳變胖了 98 00:08:41,472 --> 00:08:43,057 但很適合妳 99 00:08:43,140 --> 00:08:44,350 謝謝 100 00:08:45,434 --> 00:08:46,518 你好嗎,弱雞? 101 00:08:47,603 --> 00:08:50,231 我覺得這個聖誕節一定會很讚 102 00:08:50,314 --> 00:08:52,149 想知道為什麼嗎? -請說 103 00:08:52,233 --> 00:08:55,819 因為我猜老媽今年只會出一張嘴了 104 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:58,530 我們其中之一會接棒發號施令 105 00:08:58,614 --> 00:09:02,826 我得說,傑森,我可不會放過你 106 00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:07,748 萊史東家的聖誕節怎麼少得了 阿諛內鬥 107 00:09:09,291 --> 00:09:10,459 您的粉紅酒,夫人 108 00:09:10,543 --> 00:09:13,671 親愛的,笑一個,這是聖誕節欸 109 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:16,590 好女孩 110 00:09:19,051 --> 00:09:22,054 我替我姐姐向妳道歉 111 00:09:27,434 --> 00:09:29,103 很高興見到妳 112 00:09:31,647 --> 00:09:32,815 謝謝妳來 113 00:09:37,361 --> 00:09:39,822 我錯過了什麼八卦,快幫我惡補 114 00:09:40,739 --> 00:09:42,408 八卦啊,好 115 00:09:44,201 --> 00:09:46,829 妳記得伯特,我姊的人生成就 116 00:09:46,912 --> 00:09:50,207 嘿唷,伯特駕到 117 00:09:50,291 --> 00:09:54,128 在平安夜大放光芒 118 00:09:55,504 --> 00:09:56,839 #天祐伯特 119 00:09:57,548 --> 00:09:59,425 我只能說他沒多久前 120 00:09:59,508 --> 00:10:02,595 被控告性騷擾,以後一定還有更多 121 00:10:03,137 --> 00:10:06,390 老媽捐錢給學校,蓋了萊史東體育館 122 00:10:06,473 --> 00:10:08,142 很像她會做的事 123 00:10:08,225 --> 00:10:09,560 那悲劇麥克呢? 124 00:10:10,102 --> 00:10:13,105 我只能說,要是我也搭了那時的飛機 125 00:10:13,188 --> 00:10:15,190 那9/11的結局就會是一群恐怖份子 126 00:10:15,274 --> 00:10:18,777 在康乃狄克州的天空體驗自由落體 127 00:10:19,445 --> 00:10:21,488 真讚! -是嗎?妳喜歡? 128 00:10:21,572 --> 00:10:22,907 我很喜歡 -太好了 129 00:10:23,407 --> 00:10:24,909 在我兒子前面親我 130 00:10:28,204 --> 00:10:30,915 說不定他其實是實力派 131 00:10:30,998 --> 00:10:34,752 他假裝我姊很辣的演技可以拿奧斯卡了 132 00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,171 現在他要老媽出錢讓他拍片 133 00:10:38,714 --> 00:10:40,674 不可能,我不會買帳的 134 00:10:40,758 --> 00:10:41,842 是葛楚! 135 00:10:41,926 --> 00:10:42,927 老媽來了 136 00:10:43,010 --> 00:10:44,929 來吧 -好,快點 137 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:46,722 伯特,快過來就位 -媽,我不要 138 00:10:46,805 --> 00:10:47,890 該上場了 -好 139 00:10:47,973 --> 00:10:49,266 我這面比較好看 -我很忙 140 00:10:49,350 --> 00:10:51,435 我們練習過了,快 -老天,好 141 00:10:52,436 --> 00:10:54,438 伯特,去中間 -要開始了 142 00:10:54,521 --> 00:10:56,357 夠了,你知道這是怎麼回事 143 00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,817 我們要擠到前排嗎? 144 00:10:58,901 --> 00:10:59,902 不用 145 00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:02,988 我們可以待在後頭 146 00:11:04,198 --> 00:11:05,199 對 147 00:11:05,950 --> 00:11:07,076 楚蒂,親愛的 148 00:11:08,994 --> 00:11:10,412 過來這邊 149 00:11:12,289 --> 00:11:13,290 拜託… 150 00:11:14,291 --> 00:11:17,253 選擇威脅或賄賂,沒那麼難 151 00:11:17,336 --> 00:11:19,046 每次都這樣 152 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,423 什麼? 153 00:11:22,091 --> 00:11:23,676 這就是你們的拿手絕活了? 154 00:11:23,759 --> 00:11:25,553 看到奶奶開心嗎? 155 00:11:25,636 --> 00:11:26,929 聽好,你們這些小混蛋 156 00:11:27,012 --> 00:11:30,140 現在可是聖誕節, 給我拿出你們的誠意 157 00:11:30,224 --> 00:11:33,727 包裝得美美的, 然後他媽的給我吞下去 158 00:11:34,979 --> 00:11:37,565 看來你們沒搞清楚我是誰 159 00:11:37,648 --> 00:11:40,859 奶奶都沒變呢 -喲,酷小子在後面啊 160 00:11:40,943 --> 00:11:42,194 就是啊,你在打什麼主意? 161 00:11:43,529 --> 00:11:45,739 沒有主意,我啥都不會做 162 00:11:45,823 --> 00:11:47,241 最好是 163 00:11:47,324 --> 00:11:49,076 不,不,不! 164 00:11:49,159 --> 00:11:51,912 少在那邊假好心想騙我吃屎 165 00:11:52,705 --> 00:11:53,789 奶奶真酷 166 00:11:53,873 --> 00:11:55,374 我會澄清那些謠言 167 00:11:55,457 --> 00:11:57,251 我覺得妳弟有什麼陰謀 -沒有 168 00:11:57,334 --> 00:12:00,796 我剛決定,今天讓你們 好好拍老媽馬屁 169 00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,632 最好是,你才是馬屁精 170 00:12:03,716 --> 00:12:05,634 你連小孩都取名葛楚 171 00:12:06,552 --> 00:12:09,263 愛芙,妳兒子叫做伯楚 172 00:12:09,805 --> 00:12:10,806 怎樣 173 00:12:10,890 --> 00:12:12,892 抱歉,伯特, 但那個名字是編的 174 00:12:12,975 --> 00:12:15,686 不好意思,不是每個人 都有幸能生女兒 175 00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,479 媽,我聽見了 176 00:12:18,898 --> 00:12:21,317 你知道什麼祕密?快說 177 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:22,902 我什麼都不知道 178 00:12:22,985 --> 00:12:25,529 我懂了,我就知道你有鬼 179 00:12:25,613 --> 00:12:27,281 快說! -我們只是… 180 00:12:27,364 --> 00:12:28,616 快點… 181 00:12:28,699 --> 00:12:32,578 妳這個沒用的東西,難怪被老公拋棄 182 00:12:36,123 --> 00:12:38,083 也祝妳聖誕快樂,參議員 183 00:12:39,168 --> 00:12:41,503 聖誕快樂,媽咪 -聖誕快樂 184 00:12:42,338 --> 00:12:43,464 對,老媽 -聖誕快樂 185 00:12:43,547 --> 00:12:46,425 你們幹嘛都給我站在後面? 186 00:12:47,843 --> 00:12:49,553 聖誕快樂,奶奶! 187 00:12:49,637 --> 00:12:51,013 小賤貨 188 00:12:51,096 --> 00:12:54,558 小葛楚,我最愛的小孫女好嗎? 189 00:12:54,642 --> 00:12:56,435 大家現在都叫我楚蒂 190 00:12:57,019 --> 00:12:58,020 楚蒂? 191 00:12:59,730 --> 00:13:01,857 這名字聽起來很像妓女 -好了 192 00:13:02,691 --> 00:13:04,443 她根本不知道那個字的意思 193 00:13:04,526 --> 00:13:06,695 我餓死了,開動吧 194 00:13:06,779 --> 00:13:07,780 自大狂 195 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,367 老媽,我覺得葛楚是個好聽的名字 196 00:13:11,450 --> 00:13:12,868 我只叫她葛楚 197 00:13:12,952 --> 00:13:14,995 聖誕快樂,葛楚 -夠了,伯楚 198 00:13:15,079 --> 00:13:16,080 (香草餅乾) 199 00:13:16,163 --> 00:13:18,207 當孩子們沉睡後 200 00:13:18,290 --> 00:13:20,918 輕輕地溜下樓梯 201 00:13:21,919 --> 00:13:25,256 鎖上所有的門窗 202 00:13:25,756 --> 00:13:29,468 只有你我和聖誕老人 203 00:13:29,552 --> 00:13:32,596 輕手輕腳 悄然無聲 204 00:13:33,389 --> 00:13:36,350 把玩具放在聖誕樹下 205 00:13:37,142 --> 00:13:40,479 趴在地上 匍匐前進 206 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:44,316 只有你我和聖誕老人 207 00:13:53,158 --> 00:13:54,618 (禮物清單:錢 錢 錢 錢 電玩) 208 00:13:54,702 --> 00:13:56,370 魔幻時刻就快到來 209 00:13:56,453 --> 00:13:59,623 夜半鐘聲即將響起 210 00:14:00,165 --> 00:14:04,044 飛行雪橇終於飛走 211 00:14:04,128 --> 00:14:07,506 大家都會有個歡樂聖誕節 212 00:14:08,173 --> 00:14:11,468 向超級無敵棒的聖誕老人 213 00:14:11,969 --> 00:14:15,306 舉杯致敬 214 00:14:15,973 --> 00:14:19,310 只有你我和聖誕老人 215 00:14:19,393 --> 00:14:21,854 又是一個該死的聖誕節 216 00:14:25,733 --> 00:14:27,318 這些都是我自己做的 217 00:14:27,401 --> 00:14:28,903 太厲害了吧 218 00:14:28,986 --> 00:14:31,530 我還做了跟聖誕老人一模一樣的 219 00:14:31,614 --> 00:14:34,283 一模一樣 -對 220 00:14:34,366 --> 00:14:36,160 聖誕老人也有拐杖糖嗎? 221 00:14:36,243 --> 00:14:37,995 有 -好 222 00:14:40,581 --> 00:14:41,582 非常完美 223 00:14:42,124 --> 00:14:43,584 不准偷看喔 224 00:14:43,667 --> 00:14:46,587 這間房子有太多煙囪了 225 00:14:47,254 --> 00:14:49,381 聖誕老人怎麼知道要從哪個下來? 226 00:14:49,465 --> 00:14:51,008 他就是知道 227 00:14:51,383 --> 00:14:52,551 是聖誕節的魔法 228 00:14:56,138 --> 00:14:57,640 親愛的,怎麼了? 229 00:14:57,723 --> 00:15:00,726 爸拔今年沒帶我去購物中心 看聖誕老人 230 00:15:01,602 --> 00:15:03,270 沒有嗎? 231 00:15:06,273 --> 00:15:07,691 真的很對不起 232 00:15:10,694 --> 00:15:12,196 今年真的很奇怪 233 00:15:12,988 --> 00:15:16,200 我沒有機會跟聖誕老人說我想要什麼 234 00:15:16,909 --> 00:15:18,202 寶貝,過來這裡 235 00:15:22,248 --> 00:15:23,249 我告訴妳喔 236 00:15:24,708 --> 00:15:27,419 妳先去換睡衣 237 00:15:29,088 --> 00:15:31,590 等我兩分鐘 238 00:15:37,721 --> 00:15:38,722 好 239 00:15:41,600 --> 00:15:43,894 好唷 240 00:15:43,978 --> 00:15:45,521 什麼?是這個嗎? 241 00:15:45,604 --> 00:15:46,772 拜託,這個 242 00:15:52,361 --> 00:15:53,487 太好了 243 00:15:57,533 --> 00:15:58,534 搞定 244 00:16:00,953 --> 00:16:05,165 因為妳今年是爸媽的乖小孩 245 00:16:05,249 --> 00:16:10,963 我們決定妳可以先拿一個禮物 246 00:16:11,046 --> 00:16:12,172 真的嗎? 247 00:16:18,304 --> 00:16:19,471 這是什麼? 248 00:16:21,682 --> 00:16:24,560 這是一個很特殊的對講機 249 00:16:25,728 --> 00:16:27,771 魔法對講機 -魔法? 250 00:16:28,397 --> 00:16:30,524 妳手上這台 251 00:16:30,608 --> 00:16:33,193 是聖誕老人的直撥熱線 252 00:16:33,277 --> 00:16:35,279 我可以跟他講話? -對 253 00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:39,158 就像寫信那樣,只是更方便 254 00:16:40,868 --> 00:16:43,037 不過呢 255 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,539 他不一定有空回答妳 256 00:16:45,623 --> 00:16:48,042 因為今晚他忙著到處發禮物 257 00:16:48,667 --> 00:16:51,253 但是他還是會聽見妳跟他說的話 258 00:16:58,177 --> 00:16:59,637 聖誕老人,你在嗎? 259 00:17:00,512 --> 00:17:02,264 我是楚蒂萊史東 260 00:17:03,557 --> 00:17:05,351 祝你今天晚上過得開心 261 00:17:07,644 --> 00:17:11,398 今天晚上很冷,別忘了戴手套 262 00:17:13,234 --> 00:17:16,111 我要跟你說,聖誕老人 263 00:17:16,654 --> 00:17:18,572 我今年特別乖 264 00:17:18,655 --> 00:17:22,034 所以我有很長的禮物清單要給你 265 00:17:23,619 --> 00:17:24,620 可是… 266 00:17:25,663 --> 00:17:28,874 我後來發現那些我都不想要 267 00:17:30,334 --> 00:17:33,045 我只想要一個聖誕禮物 268 00:17:35,256 --> 00:17:37,466 就是媽媽跟爸爸和好 269 00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:40,844 讓我們一家團聚 270 00:17:42,388 --> 00:17:43,389 好了 271 00:17:44,014 --> 00:17:45,307 晚安,聖誕老人 272 00:17:47,434 --> 00:17:48,852 晚安,兔兔先生 273 00:18:02,241 --> 00:18:03,868 是哪一個幹的? 274 00:18:04,994 --> 00:18:08,789 兩秒不拉屎都不行嗎?你們是鴿子嗎? 275 00:18:09,874 --> 00:18:12,459 超不專業的 276 00:18:16,255 --> 00:18:18,090 魯道夫就從來不會這樣 277 00:18:49,413 --> 00:18:50,456 自家手作 278 00:18:58,672 --> 00:18:59,798 脫脂牛奶 279 00:19:10,601 --> 00:19:13,520 這才對嘛 280 00:19:20,569 --> 00:19:21,570 (1938) 281 00:19:21,654 --> 00:19:25,866 {\an8}杜波斯的酒,戰前的好東西 282 00:19:26,700 --> 00:19:27,701 靠北讚 283 00:19:42,383 --> 00:19:43,634 很搭 284 00:19:44,176 --> 00:19:46,011 還有什麼呢? 285 00:20:02,611 --> 00:20:05,656 爽,這樣才對 286 00:20:15,833 --> 00:20:16,876 你知道嗎? 287 00:20:19,211 --> 00:20:20,713 聖誕節也沒關係 288 00:20:21,672 --> 00:20:24,884 但你們美國佬都不過我最愛的節日 289 00:20:26,093 --> 00:20:27,678 喔?什麼節日? 290 00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:29,221 打到骨折日 291 00:21:02,838 --> 00:21:06,091 唷,我是B萊史東,直播美夢中 292 00:21:06,634 --> 00:21:08,552 他們說富到流油的人… 293 00:21:10,054 --> 00:21:11,055 說再見吧 294 00:21:12,056 --> 00:21:13,057 如果你們… 295 00:21:14,225 --> 00:21:15,935 不,奶奶 296 00:21:16,018 --> 00:21:18,520 妳的網路爛死了,該死的 297 00:21:19,563 --> 00:21:21,899 他小時候我就拜託妳揍他了 298 00:21:39,500 --> 00:21:41,293 嘿,聖誕快樂 299 00:21:41,377 --> 00:21:44,046 還是應該說佳節愉快呢? 300 00:21:44,129 --> 00:21:46,340 大家怎麼都不統一一下啊? 301 00:21:46,423 --> 00:21:48,259 有何貴幹? -要請你幫個忙 302 00:21:48,342 --> 00:21:51,095 我的車拋錨了 303 00:21:51,178 --> 00:21:53,764 在這邊?這裡是私人土地 304 00:21:53,847 --> 00:21:54,890 我怎麼知道呢 305 00:21:54,974 --> 00:21:58,102 我走了好遠才看到這房子,我都凍壞了 306 00:21:58,185 --> 00:21:59,395 這裡到底是什麼鬼地方? 307 00:21:59,478 --> 00:22:02,940 這裡是萊史東莊園,我幫你叫拖車 308 00:22:08,779 --> 00:22:11,740 (萊宅) 309 00:22:12,783 --> 00:22:14,243 好了,壞蛋們 310 00:22:14,326 --> 00:22:17,371 準備聖誕開搶,完畢 311 00:22:17,454 --> 00:22:18,831 鈴鐺,好了 312 00:22:19,373 --> 00:22:21,625 薄荷,好了 -糖梅,好了 313 00:22:22,167 --> 00:22:24,962 坎卜斯,準備大鬧一場了 314 00:22:25,546 --> 00:22:26,922 拐杖糖,好了 315 00:22:27,006 --> 00:22:29,466 糖霜,沒問題 -金箔,沒問題 316 00:22:29,550 --> 00:22:31,385 薑餅,沒問題 317 00:22:31,468 --> 00:22:34,179 我們一定要用這些蠢代號嗎? 318 00:22:34,263 --> 00:22:35,723 這樣才有氣氛 319 00:22:36,432 --> 00:22:38,809 準備迎接你們最糟的聖誕節吧 320 00:22:40,561 --> 00:22:42,563 楚蒂最愛去購物中心看聖誕老人了 321 00:22:43,772 --> 00:22:45,441 她喜歡和父親一起去 322 00:22:45,524 --> 00:22:48,777 你昨天應該帶她去,就像每年那樣 323 00:22:48,861 --> 00:22:50,154 但你完全沒和我們聯絡 324 00:22:50,237 --> 00:22:52,448 老媽要我去做件特別的事,很複雜 325 00:22:52,531 --> 00:22:55,159 不是的,這種事情總是一再重演 326 00:22:55,242 --> 00:22:56,869 你媽媽強行介入我們之間 327 00:22:56,952 --> 00:22:57,995 妳說得對 328 00:23:02,666 --> 00:23:04,627 也許我們能實現楚蒂的願望? 329 00:23:05,920 --> 00:23:08,631 跟你媽度過浪漫週末會讓我回心轉意? 330 00:23:08,714 --> 00:23:12,218 如果這次真的不一樣呢? 331 00:23:14,470 --> 00:23:16,555 我們可以逃出我媽的掌控 332 00:23:17,181 --> 00:23:18,766 我們拋下一切 333 00:23:18,849 --> 00:23:21,101 離開公司、家族 334 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:25,564 今晚就走 335 00:23:27,107 --> 00:23:28,525 你在打什麼主意? 336 00:24:13,904 --> 00:24:15,698 我們走 -妳要立刻離開 337 00:24:16,574 --> 00:24:17,950 媽咪,妳要去哪裡? 338 00:24:19,076 --> 00:24:20,703 她要去避難 -啊? 339 00:24:20,786 --> 00:24:22,204 對,快走,伯楚 -丟下我們? 340 00:24:28,002 --> 00:24:29,587 該死 341 00:24:51,817 --> 00:24:54,570 空間不夠所有人進去 -至少能再兩個 342 00:24:54,653 --> 00:24:56,113 媽,帶我進去 -媽! 343 00:24:56,822 --> 00:24:57,823 好 344 00:24:57,907 --> 00:24:59,158 媽,伯特也能進去嗎? 345 00:25:01,785 --> 00:25:03,704 好,不快點就死定了,快 346 00:25:05,414 --> 00:25:06,665 你們應該保護我們 347 00:25:06,749 --> 00:25:08,209 我們保護主要資產 348 00:25:12,421 --> 00:25:13,672 你是什麼人? 349 00:25:14,215 --> 00:25:16,342 你可以叫我小氣財神 350 00:25:17,343 --> 00:25:18,594 真好笑 351 00:25:18,677 --> 00:25:20,012 抓住他 352 00:25:29,230 --> 00:25:31,023 去死吧,混蛋 353 00:25:40,491 --> 00:25:41,659 嘿,閃開 354 00:25:44,078 --> 00:25:46,413 金箔、薄荷,去樓上搜一搜 355 00:25:46,497 --> 00:25:48,499 把萊史東家的人都抓過來 356 00:25:49,458 --> 00:25:51,085 其他的人格殺勿論 357 00:26:01,428 --> 00:26:04,056 靠! 358 00:26:05,224 --> 00:26:07,101 楚蒂,親愛的,我們要走了 359 00:26:09,186 --> 00:26:10,187 醒醒,寶貝,醒醒 360 00:26:10,271 --> 00:26:12,648 說不定能從僕役用樓梯逃走 361 00:26:20,030 --> 00:26:22,074 拜託,不會吧,就這麼巧! 362 00:26:22,616 --> 00:26:24,952 靠! 363 00:26:25,953 --> 00:26:27,872 懈寄生、薑餅 364 00:26:51,478 --> 00:26:52,521 嘿 365 00:26:56,984 --> 00:26:59,528 被你發現了 366 00:27:00,279 --> 00:27:02,114 我不想惹麻煩,好嗎? 367 00:27:02,197 --> 00:27:03,824 立刻跟我下樓 368 00:27:04,533 --> 00:27:06,702 聽我說,先生 369 00:27:07,328 --> 00:27:11,373 我不想淌渾水,我還有正事要辦 370 00:27:11,999 --> 00:27:13,792 所以我要拿起我的袋子 371 00:27:14,501 --> 00:27:16,378 從煙囪爬出去 372 00:27:18,756 --> 00:27:20,341 廢話少說,走了 373 00:27:21,634 --> 00:27:22,968 你惹錯人了 374 00:27:23,052 --> 00:27:24,261 什麼?你嗎? 375 00:27:25,971 --> 00:27:27,348 現在下樓 376 00:27:28,682 --> 00:27:30,726 你聾了嗎?他媽的給我站起來 377 00:27:42,363 --> 00:27:43,906 不… 378 00:27:43,989 --> 00:27:46,575 不,等等! 379 00:27:47,535 --> 00:27:48,536 等一下 380 00:27:48,619 --> 00:27:51,997 等一下,別走,回來啊! 381 00:29:07,531 --> 00:29:08,741 媽的咧 382 00:29:33,515 --> 00:29:34,516 糟糕 383 00:29:56,413 --> 00:29:59,333 那些膽小鬼馴鹿居然棄我不顧 384 00:30:08,425 --> 00:30:14,348 暴戾夜,血腥夜 385 00:30:14,431 --> 00:30:17,059 別亂動 386 00:30:17,142 --> 00:30:20,646 如果你們不想被爆頭 387 00:30:21,689 --> 00:30:22,940 真可愛 388 00:30:23,023 --> 00:30:26,026 你知道你惹了什麼人嗎? 389 00:30:29,697 --> 00:30:32,074 我當然知道自己惹了什麼人 390 00:30:33,075 --> 00:30:34,410 等等,難道妳真的以為 391 00:30:34,493 --> 00:30:37,746 我籌畫了好幾個月的縝密行動 392 00:30:37,830 --> 00:30:40,499 要闖入全國保全最嚴密的住家 393 00:30:40,583 --> 00:30:42,501 卻不知道住在裡面的人是誰? 394 00:30:42,585 --> 00:30:43,669 這妳就錯了 395 00:30:44,545 --> 00:30:48,340 因為妳的人都死了,保全也死了 396 00:30:48,424 --> 00:30:51,927 所以給我坐下,閉上妳的臭嘴! 397 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:22,041 靠 398 00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:28,380 沒事的,只要幾分鐘就可以搞定 399 00:31:28,464 --> 00:31:29,465 最好是能搞定 400 00:31:29,548 --> 00:31:32,301 這情節好像我最愛的電影《暗夜贖金》 401 00:31:32,384 --> 00:31:33,385 我的天 402 00:31:34,637 --> 00:31:36,055 只要他們沒有槍 403 00:31:36,138 --> 00:31:38,224 我就能打倒其中三、四個人吧 404 00:31:38,307 --> 00:31:39,642 全部打倒不是更好 405 00:31:40,935 --> 00:31:42,853 媽,好噁 406 00:31:42,937 --> 00:31:44,396 你如果真的做了功課 407 00:31:44,480 --> 00:31:47,483 就會知道我哥哥羅瑞70年代被綁架過 408 00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,569 但我爸完全沒有聯絡警察 409 00:31:51,278 --> 00:31:53,739 他派出我們私人的搶救小組 410 00:31:53,822 --> 00:31:56,325 羅瑞一個星期後毫髮無傷地回家了 411 00:31:57,743 --> 00:31:59,912 綁架犯從此人間蒸發 412 00:32:01,247 --> 00:32:02,623 你懂我意思吧 413 00:32:04,625 --> 00:32:05,876 我知道 414 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,754 我知道妳家的搶救小組 415 00:32:08,837 --> 00:32:12,258 你們私下的暱稱是“殺人特攻隊” 416 00:32:12,341 --> 00:32:14,343 我也知道他們正在路上 417 00:32:14,426 --> 00:32:16,178 也知道他們要多久時間會到 418 00:32:16,262 --> 00:32:20,432 我還知道他們的雞雞評分,妳懂嗎? 419 00:32:20,516 --> 00:32:22,810 那你就知道自己死定了 420 00:32:23,310 --> 00:32:24,895 我們不會付贖金 421 00:32:24,979 --> 00:32:27,565 我說了,我都知道 422 00:32:27,648 --> 00:32:30,818 我知道的可多了,葛楚,真的 423 00:32:31,610 --> 00:32:35,155 像是妳現在有三億美元現金 424 00:32:35,239 --> 00:32:37,324 放在樓下的私人金庫裡 425 00:32:37,408 --> 00:32:39,410 什麼? -沒錯 426 00:32:39,493 --> 00:32:42,872 美國政府給萊史東家的三億美元 427 00:32:42,955 --> 00:32:46,917 準備發給中東那些人渣 428 00:32:47,001 --> 00:32:51,213 打通關節,讓原油順暢流動 429 00:32:51,297 --> 00:32:55,551 三億美元,哇咧,在戰火中就沒了 430 00:32:55,634 --> 00:32:58,137 但也不是真的沒了,對吧,葛楚? 431 00:32:58,679 --> 00:33:00,014 因為被妳偷走了 432 00:33:00,097 --> 00:33:03,100 你都知道? -唉,這家人啊 433 00:33:03,183 --> 00:33:06,270 這貪財的一家 434 00:33:06,353 --> 00:33:08,147 死命抓著你們的錢財 435 00:33:08,230 --> 00:33:12,026 而你們的員工窮到沒錢買煤取暖 436 00:33:12,109 --> 00:33:14,528 你講這麼多聖誕節鬼話有屁用? 437 00:33:15,779 --> 00:33:19,450 講再多你也進不了金庫 438 00:33:20,242 --> 00:33:24,747 因為妳按了緊急按鈕,密碼已經改了? 439 00:33:24,830 --> 00:33:27,708 要講幾遍,我都知道 440 00:33:33,214 --> 00:33:35,925 現在闖進金庫還要這樣搞? 441 00:33:36,592 --> 00:33:40,512 記得以前只要鑽洞炸掉就好的日子嗎? 442 00:33:40,596 --> 00:33:43,724 我大概是老了,不過那樣還挺浪漫的 443 00:33:44,266 --> 00:33:45,309 老大,聽到了嗎? 444 00:33:46,143 --> 00:33:47,311 我現在有點忙 445 00:33:47,811 --> 00:33:49,313 你最好來看一下 446 00:33:59,823 --> 00:34:00,866 他可能摔下來了 447 00:34:01,367 --> 00:34:03,202 妳和他一起從大樓垂降過 448 00:34:03,285 --> 00:34:05,454 卻覺得他會從窗戶跌下來? 449 00:34:06,288 --> 00:34:08,749 大家打起精神,敵暗我明 450 00:34:25,307 --> 00:34:30,896 我覺得兔兔先生想睡了 451 00:34:30,980 --> 00:34:33,732 我們讓他睡覺好嗎? 452 00:34:35,568 --> 00:34:36,859 沒事的 453 00:34:51,332 --> 00:34:55,044 聖誕老人,你在嗎? 454 00:35:01,427 --> 00:35:02,678 該死 455 00:35:07,933 --> 00:35:09,894 拐杖糖在第三檢查點 456 00:35:11,103 --> 00:35:12,479 該死… 457 00:35:12,563 --> 00:35:13,731 該死 458 00:35:16,525 --> 00:35:17,818 電玩遊戲 459 00:35:19,612 --> 00:35:20,779 電玩遊戲 460 00:35:20,863 --> 00:35:25,409 沒有人許願球棒、寶劍或汽油彈嗎? 461 00:35:34,835 --> 00:35:35,836 等等 462 00:35:51,936 --> 00:35:53,229 媽咪,我愛妳 463 00:35:54,438 --> 00:35:55,564 詩集 464 00:35:56,523 --> 00:35:58,317 藍光版《終極警探》,媽的! 465 00:36:01,403 --> 00:36:02,488 我的媽啊 466 00:36:02,571 --> 00:36:04,782 我的媽啊 哦嗚 467 00:36:04,865 --> 00:36:06,825 聖誕老人在哪裡? 468 00:36:06,909 --> 00:36:08,702 我的媽啊 哦嗚 469 00:36:08,786 --> 00:36:10,871 聖誕老人在哪裡? 470 00:36:10,955 --> 00:36:11,956 我的媽啊 哦嗚 471 00:36:12,039 --> 00:36:13,415 他帶來的玩具呢? 472 00:36:13,499 --> 00:36:14,959 保險沒開,廢物 473 00:36:16,794 --> 00:36:18,170 我的媽啊 474 00:36:18,254 --> 00:36:20,172 我的媽啊 哦嗚 475 00:36:20,256 --> 00:36:22,383 聖誕老人在哪裡? 476 00:36:22,466 --> 00:36:23,759 我的媽啊 哦嗚 477 00:36:23,842 --> 00:36:25,678 我正在找他 因為 478 00:36:25,761 --> 00:36:27,638 等等,你等一下 479 00:36:27,721 --> 00:36:28,973 今晚是平安夜 480 00:36:29,056 --> 00:36:30,140 等一下 481 00:36:30,766 --> 00:36:33,060 聽好,我不想殺你 482 00:36:33,143 --> 00:36:36,063 我知道我應該乖乖睡覺 483 00:36:37,064 --> 00:36:40,818 “哇,又高又胖的白鬍子傢伙” 484 00:36:40,901 --> 00:36:43,320 但我還是偷偷瞄瞄窗外 485 00:36:43,404 --> 00:36:44,446 聖誕老人 486 00:36:45,656 --> 00:36:47,408 我他媽的要抓爆你的蛋蛋 487 00:36:50,202 --> 00:36:52,246 希望他不會忘記 488 00:36:52,329 --> 00:36:54,498 敲打他的響板 489 00:36:54,582 --> 00:36:58,127 呼喚他的馴鹿 490 00:36:58,210 --> 00:37:00,087 喔 潘丘 喔 悍妞 491 00:37:00,170 --> 00:37:01,171 喔 佩卓 喔 閃電 492 00:37:01,255 --> 00:37:02,256 靠 493 00:37:02,339 --> 00:37:03,465 喔耶 494 00:37:03,549 --> 00:37:06,218 喔耶 喔耶 495 00:37:06,302 --> 00:37:07,469 我的媽啊 496 00:37:07,553 --> 00:37:09,805 我的媽啊 哦嗚 497 00:37:09,889 --> 00:37:11,515 聖誕老人在哪裡? 498 00:37:11,599 --> 00:37:12,683 我的媽啊 哦嗚 499 00:37:12,766 --> 00:37:15,519 聖誕老人在哪裡? 500 00:37:15,603 --> 00:37:17,271 我的媽啊 哦嗚 501 00:37:17,354 --> 00:37:20,107 今晚是平安夜 502 00:37:29,909 --> 00:37:31,493 希望他不會忘記 503 00:37:31,994 --> 00:37:33,579 敲打他的響板 504 00:37:33,662 --> 00:37:37,499 呼喚他的馴鹿 505 00:37:38,167 --> 00:37:39,543 喔 潘丘 喔 悍妞 506 00:37:39,627 --> 00:37:41,420 喔 佩卓 喔 閃電 507 00:37:41,503 --> 00:37:42,838 喔耶 508 00:37:42,922 --> 00:37:45,341 喔耶 喔耶 509 00:37:45,424 --> 00:37:46,675 我的媽啊 510 00:37:46,759 --> 00:37:48,302 我的媽啊 哦嗚 511 00:37:48,385 --> 00:37:51,013 聖誕老人在哪裡? 512 00:37:51,931 --> 00:37:54,642 聖誕老人在哪裡? 513 00:37:54,725 --> 00:37:56,227 我的媽啊 哦嗚 514 00:37:56,310 --> 00:37:59,271 今晚是平安夜 515 00:38:00,147 --> 00:38:02,066 今晚是平安夜 516 00:38:02,149 --> 00:38:03,776 我的媽啊 517 00:38:03,859 --> 00:38:05,903 今晚是平安夜 518 00:38:05,986 --> 00:38:07,238 我的媽啊 519 00:38:48,529 --> 00:38:49,530 老天 520 00:38:56,829 --> 00:39:00,207 拐杖糖回報,莊園一切正常安全 521 00:39:02,126 --> 00:39:04,253 收到,殺人特攻隊怎麼樣了? 522 00:39:05,379 --> 00:39:07,464 殺人特攻隊還要兩小時才會到 523 00:39:07,548 --> 00:39:10,467 我們一切順利,已經突破外層了 524 00:39:10,551 --> 00:39:12,469 這可以報警嗎? 525 00:39:14,138 --> 00:39:15,139 我… 526 00:39:15,806 --> 00:39:17,182 我這樣做對嗎? 527 00:39:17,266 --> 00:39:18,601 有人嗎? 528 00:39:18,684 --> 00:39:20,561 有人聽見我的聲音嗎? 529 00:39:20,644 --> 00:39:22,062 聖誕老人,你在嗎? 530 00:39:25,149 --> 00:39:26,150 誰? 531 00:39:26,233 --> 00:39:27,651 聖誕老人? 532 00:39:30,905 --> 00:39:32,531 對,我是聖誕老人 533 00:39:35,743 --> 00:39:37,620 希望我沒有打擾你 534 00:39:39,663 --> 00:39:42,082 爸拔說你今晚很忙 535 00:39:44,168 --> 00:39:45,169 我… 536 00:39:46,295 --> 00:39:47,838 剛好在休息 537 00:39:48,631 --> 00:39:50,299 妳叫什麼名字啊? 538 00:39:52,885 --> 00:39:54,845 我的名字是楚蒂萊史東 539 00:39:54,929 --> 00:39:57,306 我今年都很乖 540 00:39:58,974 --> 00:40:00,184 楚蒂 541 00:40:02,728 --> 00:40:04,271 楚蒂萊史東 542 00:40:04,813 --> 00:40:06,065 (乖孩子 楚蒂萊史東) 543 00:40:06,148 --> 00:40:07,524 (對動物友善、聽爸媽的話) 544 00:40:07,608 --> 00:40:08,692 (邀請怪咖參加派對) 545 00:40:08,776 --> 00:40:10,319 (房間整潔、對人和善 ) 546 00:40:13,364 --> 00:40:14,615 對,楚蒂 547 00:40:15,824 --> 00:40:17,368 妳在我的乖孩子名單上 548 00:40:18,202 --> 00:40:20,204 妳今年是很乖的孩子 549 00:40:22,122 --> 00:40:23,624 楚蒂,妳現在在哪裡? 550 00:40:25,543 --> 00:40:28,504 我和全家族在一個大房間裡 551 00:40:28,587 --> 00:40:31,507 有兩個拿槍的壞人在監視我們 552 00:40:34,134 --> 00:40:35,135 {\an8}(壞孩子) 553 00:40:35,219 --> 00:40:36,554 {\an8}還有六個 554 00:40:36,637 --> 00:40:38,055 {\an8}你能不能來救我們,聖誕老人? 555 00:40:39,974 --> 00:40:41,642 好,我當然會去救妳 556 00:40:41,725 --> 00:40:43,894 我會…我會把妳救出來 557 00:40:44,395 --> 00:40:47,606 抓走那些在壞孩子名單上的壞人 558 00:40:48,649 --> 00:40:50,693 我會拿出大塊的煤炭 559 00:40:51,402 --> 00:40:54,989 一個壞孩子一塊,直接塞到他們的… 560 00:40:55,072 --> 00:40:56,073 屁股裡 561 00:40:59,535 --> 00:41:00,953 等等,親愛的 562 00:41:01,036 --> 00:41:03,497 我們還想讓妳留在乖孩子名單上 563 00:41:05,332 --> 00:41:07,459 對不起,那“屁眼”可以嗎? 564 00:41:08,252 --> 00:41:09,795 這算是擦邊球吧 565 00:41:09,879 --> 00:41:11,589 那“肛門”呢? 566 00:41:12,172 --> 00:41:15,551 嚴格來說,這算專有名… 567 00:41:16,051 --> 00:41:17,761 好了,楚蒂 568 00:41:17,845 --> 00:41:20,472 我要找幫手,但電話線不通 569 00:41:20,556 --> 00:41:22,933 妳應該很熟悉這間房子 570 00:41:23,434 --> 00:41:24,685 有什麼建議嗎? 571 00:41:25,227 --> 00:41:26,520 我想到了 572 00:41:29,273 --> 00:41:33,235 你是說有一個天殺的聖誕老人在這裡? 573 00:41:37,156 --> 00:41:40,451 他該死的看起來很歡樂,到底是誰? 574 00:41:40,534 --> 00:41:42,328 員工名單上沒有聖誕老人 575 00:41:42,411 --> 00:41:43,913 對,還有一件事 576 00:41:43,996 --> 00:41:46,081 糖霜沒有回報,我找不到他 577 00:41:46,165 --> 00:41:47,416 好,繼續找 578 00:41:50,836 --> 00:41:53,339 正式宣布,有漏網之魚在搗蛋 579 00:41:53,422 --> 00:41:54,882 他很危險,你們要小心 580 00:42:00,387 --> 00:42:02,514 艾爾,艾爾! 581 00:42:08,979 --> 00:42:10,314 太糟糕了 582 00:42:19,156 --> 00:42:20,199 該死 583 00:42:20,282 --> 00:42:23,035 糖霜,你現在怎麼樣? 584 00:42:26,872 --> 00:42:28,832 糖霜,完畢 585 00:42:31,919 --> 00:42:33,420 糖霜? 586 00:42:34,505 --> 00:42:37,591 我在地下室碰到的那個壞蛋嗎? 587 00:42:37,675 --> 00:42:39,134 你朋友死了 588 00:42:39,218 --> 00:42:42,846 他被星星砸到臉,然後頭著火了 589 00:42:42,930 --> 00:42:44,390 說來話長 590 00:42:47,351 --> 00:42:49,436 你就是我們的聖誕老人嗎? 591 00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:52,314 我們親愛的聖誕老人嗎? 592 00:42:52,398 --> 00:42:53,774 對,我就是 593 00:42:55,150 --> 00:42:56,610 請問你是哪位? 594 00:42:56,694 --> 00:42:58,612 今天晚上我叫做小氣財神 595 00:42:58,696 --> 00:43:02,575 請問你到底想幹嘛,聖誕老人? 596 00:43:02,658 --> 00:43:05,119 我要你們放下武器 597 00:43:06,078 --> 00:43:08,080 我要你們放過這家人 598 00:43:08,831 --> 00:43:10,291 然後我要找到我的馴鹿 599 00:43:10,374 --> 00:43:12,710 繼續去發禮物 600 00:43:15,462 --> 00:43:16,714 你他媽的跟我開玩笑嗎? 601 00:43:17,381 --> 00:43:19,049 好了,你到底是誰? 602 00:43:19,133 --> 00:43:21,594 是看太多動作片的保全嗎? 603 00:43:21,677 --> 00:43:24,930 還是失業的遜警察在購物中心cosplay 604 00:43:25,014 --> 00:43:27,975 有胖小子在你大腿撒尿嗎?說中了吧? 605 00:43:28,058 --> 00:43:29,852 比你說的還要複雜一點 606 00:43:29,935 --> 00:43:31,812 我覺得不會 607 00:43:31,896 --> 00:43:33,731 因為這是我個人的任務 608 00:43:33,814 --> 00:43:36,108 我的佳節待辦事項 609 00:43:36,191 --> 00:43:38,277 就是找到你,除掉你 610 00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:41,822 用你來擦屁股,度過這個爛節日 611 00:43:41,906 --> 00:43:44,283 這就是我要的聖誕禮物,聖誕老人 612 00:43:44,366 --> 00:43:48,495 你聖誕節的願望真是糟糕 613 00:43:49,163 --> 00:43:51,999 但也許我應該跟你當面討論一下 614 00:43:53,584 --> 00:43:55,628 “聖誕老人要來了” 615 00:44:07,765 --> 00:44:08,766 該死的 616 00:44:18,859 --> 00:44:22,738 誰找了扮裝聖誕老人來參加聖誕趴? 617 00:44:22,821 --> 00:44:26,909 是誰來這個爛爆的聖誕趴扮聖誕老人? 618 00:44:26,992 --> 00:44:29,161 我沒有找聖誕老人 619 00:44:29,245 --> 00:44:31,372 我從來不找聖誕老人,超俗的 620 00:44:32,039 --> 00:44:33,290 那他是誰? 621 00:44:37,920 --> 00:44:39,088 他是誰? 622 00:44:39,171 --> 00:44:42,800 你們最好快招,不然我砸爛你們的頭 623 00:44:44,260 --> 00:44:48,138 該死,葛楚,妳真的很喜歡胡桃鉗吧? 624 00:44:49,181 --> 00:44:53,686 我要折磨妳的每一個家人 625 00:44:53,769 --> 00:44:57,898 直到有人說出那個亂跑的 聖誕老人是誰 626 00:44:57,982 --> 00:44:59,483 居然壞了我的好事 627 00:44:59,567 --> 00:45:01,068 先選誰好呢? 628 00:45:01,944 --> 00:45:03,320 是不是按照年齡呢? 629 00:45:04,405 --> 00:45:06,156 還是按照智商? 630 00:45:07,116 --> 00:45:09,451 選傑森,我媽最喜歡他了 631 00:45:09,535 --> 00:45:11,495 對,選他 -穿毛衣的那個 632 00:45:11,579 --> 00:45:13,956 好,就從傑森萊史東開始 633 00:45:14,039 --> 00:45:16,417 寶貝兒子 -等一等 634 00:45:16,500 --> 00:45:18,836 不用這樣的,沒關係 635 00:45:18,919 --> 00:45:21,463 不,不,不,我們不用這樣 636 00:45:21,547 --> 00:45:23,090 不,不要… 637 00:45:23,173 --> 00:45:25,467 不要,不要放…不 638 00:45:25,551 --> 00:45:26,844 不… 639 00:45:26,927 --> 00:45:29,096 把手指交出來 -等一下 640 00:45:33,100 --> 00:45:34,310 爸拔! 641 00:45:36,562 --> 00:45:39,356 我說了,沒人找聖誕老人來 642 00:45:39,440 --> 00:45:40,733 好啦,妳說的是 643 00:45:40,816 --> 00:45:43,068 住手,住手,我們幹嘛呢 644 00:45:43,152 --> 00:45:47,239 好了,我們是外行人嗎?很不專業欸 645 00:45:47,323 --> 00:45:50,826 好了,這可不是手指鉗 646 00:45:52,161 --> 00:45:54,747 拐杖糖,把他的蛋蛋塞進去 647 00:45:54,830 --> 00:45:56,290 我才不要摸他的蛋蛋 648 00:45:56,373 --> 00:46:00,085 怎麼變公主了?妳連腦袋都用手挖過 649 00:46:00,169 --> 00:46:02,213 你要我把他的腦袋挖出來,我就照做 650 00:46:02,296 --> 00:46:04,840 但我不要摸他的蛋蛋 -隨便誰都好 651 00:46:04,924 --> 00:46:08,385 但三秒後,我要看到他的蛋變荷包蛋 652 00:46:08,469 --> 00:46:09,470 我來 653 00:46:10,304 --> 00:46:11,597 坎卜斯,做得好 654 00:46:11,680 --> 00:46:13,933 不要他 -所以我最喜歡反社會人格了 655 00:46:14,016 --> 00:46:15,809 總是喜歡嘗試新事物 -等一下 656 00:46:15,893 --> 00:46:18,354 不用這樣嘛,沒關係的 657 00:46:18,437 --> 00:46:21,565 不,不要,我的天哪 658 00:46:21,649 --> 00:46:24,026 我的天哪… 659 00:46:25,778 --> 00:46:28,697 把你的胡桃放進去,真好吃 660 00:46:29,240 --> 00:46:30,866 不要傷害我爸拔 661 00:46:31,408 --> 00:46:33,202 不然聖誕老人會生氣 662 00:46:35,829 --> 00:46:36,956 真是小可愛 663 00:46:37,581 --> 00:46:39,333 妳認識聖誕老人嗎? 664 00:46:39,416 --> 00:46:40,751 她什麼都不知道 665 00:46:41,710 --> 00:46:43,003 他沒有問你 666 00:46:43,546 --> 00:46:46,257 她只是愛幻想 667 00:46:46,340 --> 00:46:48,008 她假裝自己在跟聖誕老人說話 668 00:46:48,551 --> 00:46:50,344 不是假裝,聖誕老人是我朋友 669 00:46:50,427 --> 00:46:52,930 他說要來救我們 -不 670 00:46:53,013 --> 00:46:55,641 還會揍扁你們 -是嗎? 671 00:46:55,724 --> 00:46:58,978 那妳應該可以叫他出來,不要躲了吧? 672 00:46:59,770 --> 00:47:01,855 妳要不要和我一起跟他玩個遊戲? 673 00:47:01,939 --> 00:47:04,400 楚蒂,說實話, 妳沒有跟聖誕老人說話 674 00:47:04,483 --> 00:47:06,569 我有 -不,妳沒有,快說實話 675 00:47:06,652 --> 00:47:09,113 我有 -該死,楚蒂,聖誕老人是假的 676 00:47:18,080 --> 00:47:19,123 很抱歉,親愛的 677 00:47:20,791 --> 00:47:24,128 聖誕老人是大人騙小孩的 678 00:47:27,214 --> 00:47:30,759 禮物是我們給的,再騙妳是聖誕老人 679 00:47:32,428 --> 00:47:34,513 他不會來救我們,他不存在 680 00:47:36,265 --> 00:47:37,433 這些都是假的 681 00:47:39,810 --> 00:47:40,811 真的嗎? 682 00:47:41,729 --> 00:47:44,440 沒想到妳會這樣發現聖誕老人的真相 683 00:47:44,523 --> 00:47:47,610 復活節我們再來戳破復活節兔子好了 684 00:47:49,278 --> 00:47:50,779 楚蒂! -快回來! 685 00:47:50,863 --> 00:47:52,740 你們這些笨蛋,堅守崗位 686 00:47:52,823 --> 00:47:54,199 楚蒂! 687 00:47:54,283 --> 00:47:55,910 我會找到這個小混蛋 688 00:49:03,102 --> 00:49:04,103 好 689 00:49:14,905 --> 00:49:15,906 好喔 690 00:49:32,339 --> 00:49:33,382 聖誕老人 691 00:49:34,174 --> 00:49:36,594 聖誕老人,聖誕老人! 692 00:49:39,805 --> 00:49:41,098 我是楚蒂 693 00:49:42,099 --> 00:49:43,475 你還好嗎,聖誕老人? 694 00:49:47,521 --> 00:49:49,732 嗨,我在 -你還好嗎? 695 00:49:50,649 --> 00:49:51,650 我沒事 696 00:49:52,818 --> 00:49:54,278 我只是在包東西 697 00:49:55,362 --> 00:49:56,947 我逃走了,躲在閣樓 698 00:49:57,031 --> 00:49:59,116 好,如果妳現在安全 699 00:50:00,784 --> 00:50:03,662 就安靜待在那,不要亂跑 700 00:50:03,746 --> 00:50:06,040 好,我可以設陷阱 701 00:50:06,874 --> 00:50:08,125 就像《小鬼當家》那樣 702 00:50:08,209 --> 00:50:11,337 好,我不知道妳在說什麼,但就做吧 703 00:50:11,420 --> 00:50:12,755 但不要發出聲音 704 00:50:14,924 --> 00:50:16,717 你真的是聖誕老人嗎? 705 00:50:20,846 --> 00:50:22,473 我當然是,親愛的 706 00:50:23,599 --> 00:50:25,935 我爸爸說沒有聖誕老人 707 00:50:28,187 --> 00:50:32,650 他說禮物是爸媽買的, 聖誕老人是假的 708 00:50:33,317 --> 00:50:37,363 他說他們只是騙我們是聖誕老人送的 709 00:50:38,072 --> 00:50:39,073 對 710 00:50:40,199 --> 00:50:42,243 對,很多爸媽都那樣說 711 00:50:42,326 --> 00:50:46,080 但是我還是會送禮物給需要我的孩子 712 00:50:47,790 --> 00:50:49,416 那些真的相信我的孩子 713 00:50:51,460 --> 00:50:53,420 你怎麼知道誰真的需要你? 714 00:50:54,630 --> 00:50:58,259 聖誕節魔法,我也不知道是什麼原理 715 00:51:06,267 --> 00:51:07,268 但是 716 00:51:10,729 --> 00:51:11,981 我記得 717 00:51:14,108 --> 00:51:16,443 楚蒂萊史東寫信給我的時候 718 00:51:16,527 --> 00:51:18,821 她應該是六歲吧 719 00:51:19,321 --> 00:51:21,657 她說自己有時候覺得很孤單 720 00:51:22,199 --> 00:51:24,451 她很想念以前有好朋友的時候 721 00:51:24,535 --> 00:51:27,705 所以我送給她一隻兔兔填充玩偶 722 00:51:27,788 --> 00:51:28,956 兔兔先生 723 00:51:29,039 --> 00:51:31,083 我記得隔一年 724 00:51:31,166 --> 00:51:35,754 妳說自己做了好夢,然後 725 00:51:35,838 --> 00:51:38,591 妳只想要… -飛高高! 726 00:51:38,674 --> 00:51:40,885 飛,飛高… 727 00:51:42,386 --> 00:51:43,804 我的意思是 728 00:51:44,513 --> 00:51:50,185 雖然有魔法,但讓小女孩飛就有點… 729 00:51:53,105 --> 00:51:55,149 但是我可以給妳風箏 730 00:51:56,984 --> 00:51:58,986 在雲的下方飄 731 00:51:59,987 --> 00:52:02,823 我盡力了 732 00:52:02,907 --> 00:52:04,116 我就知道 733 00:52:04,742 --> 00:52:06,744 我就知道你是真的,聖誕老人 734 00:52:09,788 --> 00:52:11,999 不要怪妳爸媽,好嗎? 735 00:52:14,752 --> 00:52:17,046 大人有時候很難相信一些事 736 00:52:19,256 --> 00:52:23,052 你能用聖誕魔法讓他們重新相愛嗎? 737 00:52:23,135 --> 00:52:25,346 我也希望自己有那種力量 738 00:52:26,388 --> 00:52:31,101 我和聖誕奶奶已經結婚1100年了 739 00:52:31,185 --> 00:52:32,186 我們… 740 00:52:33,312 --> 00:52:35,773 大人的感情很複雜 741 00:52:36,857 --> 00:52:38,025 需要努力 742 00:52:39,360 --> 00:52:40,527 很多的努力 743 00:52:43,364 --> 00:52:44,740 你還愛她嗎? 744 00:52:46,033 --> 00:52:47,409 我愛她 745 00:52:48,661 --> 00:52:51,580 但有時候,就算你想讓某人幸福 746 00:52:53,374 --> 00:52:55,376 魔法還是會消失 747 00:52:58,337 --> 00:52:59,338 嘿 748 00:53:00,381 --> 00:53:01,924 我有個想法 749 00:53:02,675 --> 00:53:04,260 這樣一定很好玩 750 00:53:04,343 --> 00:53:08,097 你們不如來開禮物吧? 751 00:53:09,181 --> 00:53:13,352 我想看你們這些有錢的 混蛋都送些什麼 752 00:53:13,435 --> 00:53:17,356 而且你們可能有人活不到明天 753 00:53:18,774 --> 00:53:20,943 這就是開禮物唯一的機會了 754 00:53:22,403 --> 00:53:25,531 拜託,有點聖誕精神吧? 755 00:53:31,036 --> 00:53:35,082 葛楚,我幫妳準備了很特別的東西 756 00:53:35,165 --> 00:53:38,502 聽到了嗎,葛楚?他有好東西給妳 757 00:53:39,169 --> 00:53:40,713 會是什麼呢? 758 00:53:41,463 --> 00:53:43,632 我的天,好刺激喔 759 00:53:43,716 --> 00:53:44,717 媽 760 00:53:46,385 --> 00:53:47,595 我可以叫妳媽嗎? 761 00:53:48,888 --> 00:53:50,472 萊史東夫人 762 00:53:52,433 --> 00:53:56,478 在業界,這個叫做提案集 763 00:53:56,562 --> 00:53:57,980 (投資人財務規畫) 764 00:53:59,148 --> 00:54:00,149 提案集 765 00:54:00,232 --> 00:54:03,777 這部片叫做《爆炸力》,由我主演 766 00:54:03,861 --> 00:54:08,866 妳看後面會有財務數字 767 00:54:08,949 --> 00:54:12,077 我在亞洲滿受歡迎的 768 00:54:14,163 --> 00:54:15,831 至少是一部分的亞洲 769 00:54:15,915 --> 00:54:19,627 我們去過那部分亞洲,連餐廳都去不了 770 00:54:20,502 --> 00:54:26,217 有什麼是比投資金雞母更好的禮物呢? 771 00:54:28,510 --> 00:54:30,471 糟糕 772 00:54:31,222 --> 00:54:33,349 奶奶不喜歡 773 00:54:34,350 --> 00:54:36,101 母親,我準備的東西真的很特別 774 00:54:42,733 --> 00:54:45,236 是我出生那天的紀念照 775 00:54:45,903 --> 00:54:46,987 我記得 776 00:54:47,780 --> 00:54:48,781 我也在那裡 777 00:54:49,323 --> 00:54:50,824 她根本把這當屁 778 00:54:53,452 --> 00:54:55,037 再次揮棒落空 779 00:54:55,913 --> 00:54:58,249 真是太精彩了 -媽咪,另一個呢? 780 00:54:58,332 --> 00:54:59,875 我準備了很多好東西,我拿一個 781 00:54:59,959 --> 00:55:03,045 愛芙,坐下吧,妳已經送一個了 782 00:55:03,128 --> 00:55:04,505 輪到傑森了 783 00:55:07,550 --> 00:55:09,426 我好像忘在車上了 784 00:55:09,510 --> 00:55:11,554 沒有,我剛剛有看到你放東西在樹下 785 00:55:12,346 --> 00:55:15,558 不對,那是… -真的,我發誓 786 00:55:15,641 --> 00:55:17,101 你知道嗎?那是… 787 00:55:17,184 --> 00:55:18,644 你不…不… 788 00:55:18,727 --> 00:55:19,895 是這個吧? 789 00:55:21,105 --> 00:55:23,107 我拿了,就送啊 790 00:55:25,276 --> 00:55:26,318 謝謝 791 00:55:27,861 --> 00:55:29,572 是我最喜歡的威士忌 792 00:55:30,906 --> 00:55:32,241 卡片就不用看了 793 00:55:56,849 --> 00:55:57,850 謝謝你,傑森 794 00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:05,733 卡片上寫什麼? 795 00:56:06,275 --> 00:56:08,652 這是我跟傑森的祕密 796 00:56:09,194 --> 00:56:11,405 別人不必知道 797 00:56:11,488 --> 00:56:12,573 對吧,傑森? 798 00:56:15,409 --> 00:56:16,410 對 799 00:56:18,329 --> 00:56:20,206 你有爸爸媽媽嗎? 800 00:56:22,458 --> 00:56:24,627 當然,我有過爸爸媽媽 801 00:56:26,086 --> 00:56:27,588 我不是一出生就是聖誕老人的 802 00:56:28,672 --> 00:56:30,382 我以前也有人生 803 00:56:31,926 --> 00:56:34,178 很久很久以前 804 00:56:39,058 --> 00:56:40,517 他們叫我… 805 00:56:42,102 --> 00:56:43,103 尼康蒙德 806 00:56:47,691 --> 00:56:48,984 血紅的尼康蒙德 807 00:56:50,778 --> 00:56:52,655 你那時候有另一份工作嗎? 808 00:56:53,572 --> 00:56:54,865 對,可以這麼說 809 00:56:56,492 --> 00:57:00,371 我是戰士、掠奪者、小偷 810 00:57:01,372 --> 00:57:03,165 如果有人擋住我的路 811 00:57:04,625 --> 00:57:07,169 我跟爆頭錘會… -爆頭錘是誰? 812 00:57:08,462 --> 00:57:10,089 爆頭錘是我的… 813 00:57:11,507 --> 00:57:12,591 錘子 814 00:57:14,301 --> 00:57:15,761 我最愛用的錘子 815 00:57:16,470 --> 00:57:18,639 有它在手,我所向無敵 816 00:57:18,722 --> 00:57:21,100 可以一次打爆三顆頭,排成一排 817 00:57:22,851 --> 00:57:23,894 為什麼呢? 818 00:57:25,771 --> 00:57:26,772 什麼? 819 00:57:26,855 --> 00:57:29,233 為什麼你要那樣? 820 00:57:31,443 --> 00:57:32,778 因為我很壞 821 00:57:34,989 --> 00:57:36,073 而且很貪心 822 00:57:38,826 --> 00:57:41,078 我想要黃金、珠寶 823 00:57:42,329 --> 00:57:45,666 如果當時有壞孩子名單, 我一定是榜首 824 00:57:47,710 --> 00:57:49,128 但是也許… 825 00:57:50,796 --> 00:57:51,797 什麼? 826 00:57:51,881 --> 00:57:54,091 也許你從前做的壞事 827 00:57:55,467 --> 00:57:58,304 現在能拿來做好事 828 00:57:59,221 --> 00:58:00,472 能幫助人 829 00:58:02,016 --> 00:58:03,058 什麼意思? 830 00:58:03,642 --> 00:58:07,104 兔兔先生不只是玩具 831 00:58:08,272 --> 00:58:10,691 那天晚上你實現了我的願望 832 00:58:11,609 --> 00:58:13,152 讓我有最好的朋友 833 00:58:14,194 --> 00:58:16,780 因為你很善良又仁慈 834 00:58:17,364 --> 00:58:19,867 你的意義勝過你送的那些禮物 835 00:58:20,784 --> 00:58:22,661 所以我才相信你,聖誕老人 836 00:58:23,412 --> 00:58:24,955 這是我相信你的原因 837 00:58:31,378 --> 00:58:32,421 謝謝妳 838 00:58:34,590 --> 00:58:37,718 妳躲好,楚蒂,等我去接妳 839 00:58:39,178 --> 00:58:40,221 保護自己 840 00:58:41,805 --> 00:58:44,558 好,衛星已經確認了 841 00:58:44,642 --> 00:58:46,685 搶救小組已經在路上 842 00:58:46,769 --> 00:58:48,646 預計還有30分鐘抵達 843 00:58:49,230 --> 00:58:51,982 一切符合預期,沒有問題 844 00:58:52,775 --> 00:58:55,694 好了,大夥兒,打起精神 845 00:58:55,778 --> 00:58:56,904 你們都知道計畫 846 00:58:56,987 --> 00:59:00,491 我的行動要跟打砲一樣 847 00:59:00,574 --> 00:59:03,118 乾淨俐落,快速完事 848 00:59:03,661 --> 00:59:07,540 如果有白癡擋路,你們要怎麼做? 849 00:59:07,623 --> 00:59:09,625 讓那混蛋滿地找牙 850 00:59:09,708 --> 00:59:11,252 就是這樣 851 00:59:12,127 --> 00:59:13,420 準備大幹一場 852 00:59:16,257 --> 00:59:18,425 出發,你們這些小王八蛋 853 00:59:24,848 --> 00:59:26,433 該死的這家人 854 00:59:48,330 --> 00:59:49,999 聖誕快樂 855 00:59:50,082 --> 00:59:52,501 佳節愉快 -叛徒 856 00:59:54,962 --> 00:59:57,423 他在東側 -我們過去了,拖住他 857 01:00:12,313 --> 01:00:13,606 讓開 858 01:00:27,828 --> 01:00:32,041 這又喘又肥的糟老頭怎麼能痛宰我們? 859 01:00:32,833 --> 01:00:35,294 我不知道 -他連武器都沒有 860 01:00:35,878 --> 01:00:37,922 他身上就背著這個袋子而已 861 01:00:38,005 --> 01:00:39,131 裡面有什麼? 862 01:00:40,883 --> 01:00:42,134 啥都看不到 863 01:00:47,806 --> 01:00:48,891 東西給我 864 01:01:00,069 --> 01:01:04,114 怎麼會有白癡背著西洋棋走來走去? 865 01:01:08,369 --> 01:01:09,537 搞什麼鬼? 866 01:01:09,620 --> 01:01:11,997 莫名其妙,都是些破東西 867 01:01:19,421 --> 01:01:22,424 你要告訴我們這個袋子的機關嗎? 868 01:01:22,508 --> 01:01:23,801 那是魔法 869 01:01:23,884 --> 01:01:26,512 把手放進去,就能拿出禮物 870 01:01:28,514 --> 01:01:30,724 其實我也不太懂它的原理 871 01:01:32,560 --> 01:01:35,980 你就是小氣財神吧? 872 01:01:36,063 --> 01:01:39,233 對,那你又是誰? 873 01:01:39,858 --> 01:01:41,277 白鬍子老公公 874 01:01:42,820 --> 01:01:44,363 聖尼古拉斯 875 01:01:45,739 --> 01:01:47,491 聖誕老人 876 01:01:48,534 --> 01:01:51,787 耶誕老公公、聖誕老公公、紅衣主教 877 01:01:51,871 --> 01:01:54,123 歡樂的老聖尼古拉斯 878 01:01:54,206 --> 01:01:56,375 我有各種名字 879 01:01:58,002 --> 01:02:00,421 哈哈哈,很好笑 880 01:02:00,504 --> 01:02:02,965 還是我應該說“呵呵呵”? 881 01:02:03,507 --> 01:02:06,385 如果你是聖誕老人,你的馴鹿呢? 882 01:02:06,468 --> 01:02:08,429 牠們本來停在屋頂上 883 01:02:08,512 --> 01:02:11,265 都是被我做成冷凍肉串的那傢伙… 884 01:02:13,893 --> 01:02:16,604 你不相信我?去看啊 885 01:02:16,687 --> 01:02:19,189 歡欣可是留了一大坨在上面 886 01:02:19,273 --> 01:02:21,191 這老頭是瘋子 887 01:02:21,275 --> 01:02:23,569 你不覺得… -我知道妳是笨蛋 888 01:02:23,652 --> 01:02:25,779 但不必敲鑼打鼓告訴大家 889 01:02:25,863 --> 01:02:29,909 他只是穿著戲服,帶著魔術袋的傢伙 890 01:02:30,451 --> 01:02:34,663 不!那個袋子裝的都是孩子的夢想! 891 01:02:34,747 --> 01:02:37,833 夠了,大家都知道聖誕節願望都是屁 892 01:02:39,210 --> 01:02:43,047 我爸以前每個聖誕節都很認真 893 01:02:43,130 --> 01:02:45,382 每個他媽的聖誕節都準備了禮物 894 01:02:45,466 --> 01:02:47,593 還有糖果、裝飾那些的 895 01:02:47,676 --> 01:02:51,055 還唱聖誕歌,全都是狗屁 896 01:02:52,973 --> 01:02:54,391 後來我… 897 01:02:55,059 --> 01:02:59,230 大概10歲的時候吧,他被裁員了 898 01:02:59,313 --> 01:03:01,774 我們連聖誕樹都買不起了 899 01:03:01,857 --> 01:03:04,109 沒有聖誕大餐、沒有禮物,啥都沒有 900 01:03:04,193 --> 01:03:05,694 空空的,連個屁都沒有 901 01:03:06,695 --> 01:03:08,155 但是我們的鄰居 902 01:03:08,239 --> 01:03:09,949 鄰居什麼都有 903 01:03:10,491 --> 01:03:13,827 我從窗戶看他們開心過節, 像是嘲笑我 904 01:03:14,745 --> 01:03:16,914 等到平安夜那天 905 01:03:19,041 --> 01:03:20,876 我等所有人都上床睡覺後 906 01:03:21,627 --> 01:03:24,380 溜進他們家,打算全部偷走 907 01:03:26,465 --> 01:03:28,926 沒想到老爺爺起床尿尿 908 01:03:29,009 --> 01:03:31,804 我們倆都被對方嚇死了,結果… 909 01:03:33,264 --> 01:03:35,391 他從樓梯上跌下來,摔斷了脖子 910 01:03:35,474 --> 01:03:37,601 在醫院裡死掉了 911 01:03:38,936 --> 01:03:41,438 大家都以為是我幹的, 每次我要解釋… 912 01:03:41,522 --> 01:03:42,856 我一直想要解釋 913 01:03:45,734 --> 01:03:47,152 算了,可能真是我幹的吧 914 01:03:48,362 --> 01:03:51,156 說不定我真的推了他,可憐的臭老頭 915 01:03:51,699 --> 01:03:56,036 懂了嗎?聖誕節毀了我的人生 916 01:03:56,120 --> 01:04:00,291 但是也讓我走上這條路, 讓我這麼成功 917 01:04:00,374 --> 01:04:01,876 我很遺憾,吉米 918 01:04:03,294 --> 01:04:04,295 我是真心的 919 01:04:05,337 --> 01:04:09,592 但我送禮物,帶來歡笑, 卻不插手人生 920 01:04:09,675 --> 01:04:13,137 是嗎?說不定你該死的應該要! 921 01:04:19,310 --> 01:04:21,145 他怎麼知道你的名字? 922 01:04:21,770 --> 01:04:24,940 畢旺,你的理由又是什麼? 923 01:04:26,692 --> 01:04:29,695 1982那年不是給你想要的腳踏車了嗎? 924 01:04:29,778 --> 01:04:32,281 你寫了50次信說想要的那輛啊! 925 01:04:33,782 --> 01:04:35,242 妳呢,琪拉? 926 01:04:35,326 --> 01:04:37,620 妳還讓弟弟吃蟲 927 01:04:37,703 --> 01:04:39,246 真是不乖! 928 01:04:39,330 --> 01:04:41,415 他怎麼知道腳踏車的事? 929 01:04:41,498 --> 01:04:44,835 隨便猜的,像是說你喜歡大奶一樣 930 01:04:44,919 --> 01:04:46,921 拜託,哪個小孩不想要腳踏車 931 01:04:47,004 --> 01:04:49,757 告訴我你老闆是誰 -老天,不 932 01:04:49,840 --> 01:04:52,676 你有五秒鐘告訴我你的真實身分 933 01:04:52,760 --> 01:04:55,763 五、四、三、二 934 01:04:55,846 --> 01:04:57,640 我是聖誕老人! 935 01:04:57,723 --> 01:04:59,183 就要不是了 936 01:05:25,417 --> 01:05:26,877 下雪了嗎? 937 01:05:26,961 --> 01:05:29,755 是他施的聖誕魔法嗎? 938 01:05:37,137 --> 01:05:38,847 讓雪下吧 939 01:05:51,193 --> 01:05:52,653 不是雪 940 01:05:52,736 --> 01:05:56,198 只是雪花泡沫,我就說他是冒牌貨 941 01:06:10,754 --> 01:06:11,755 他去哪了? 942 01:06:13,591 --> 01:06:15,926 他溜進煙囪了,我看到了 943 01:06:16,010 --> 01:06:19,430 好像有什麼鑽頭或滑輪讓他往上飛了 944 01:06:19,513 --> 01:06:21,098 你進不去的,不可能 945 01:06:21,181 --> 01:06:23,767 看到一件怪事你就以為這是童話世界? 946 01:06:23,851 --> 01:06:26,020 來了,雪橇鈴聲響叮噹 947 01:06:26,103 --> 01:06:28,647 我的天,他的馴鹿來了 948 01:06:32,109 --> 01:06:35,404 是搶救小組,你給我振作一點 949 01:06:50,628 --> 01:06:54,048 那聲音,我的殺人特攻隊來了 950 01:06:56,300 --> 01:06:59,094 你們完了,等著瞧吧! 951 01:06:59,178 --> 01:07:01,472 你這個爛妖精還有什麼花樣? 952 01:07:02,640 --> 01:07:04,558 伯特 -#天祐伯特 953 01:07:08,437 --> 01:07:09,438 讚啦! 954 01:07:10,272 --> 01:07:11,482 跑酷 955 01:07:11,565 --> 01:07:12,650 殺了他,寶貝 956 01:07:16,111 --> 01:07:17,613 摩根會救我們的 957 01:07:19,573 --> 01:07:22,993 那個動作巨猩棄我們不顧了,親愛的 958 01:07:30,292 --> 01:07:31,710 先不要開火 959 01:07:32,253 --> 01:07:33,504 無敵風火輪! 960 01:07:35,464 --> 01:07:36,757 沒事沒事 961 01:07:37,466 --> 01:07:38,634 不要開槍 962 01:07:38,717 --> 01:07:40,010 表明你的身分 963 01:07:40,761 --> 01:07:42,429 我是人質之一 964 01:07:42,513 --> 01:07:44,056 摩根史帝 965 01:07:44,640 --> 01:07:45,683 我是演員 966 01:07:46,350 --> 01:07:48,644 演出過很多次士兵 967 01:07:48,727 --> 01:07:51,939 我想謝謝你們的付出,永遠忠誠 968 01:07:53,023 --> 01:07:54,858 裡面情況如何? 969 01:07:55,568 --> 01:07:57,403 好幾個退伍軍人 970 01:07:57,486 --> 01:07:59,613 但我警告你們,他們知道你們要來 971 01:07:59,697 --> 01:08:00,906 我覺得他們有備而來 972 01:08:00,990 --> 01:08:03,993 最好是,我們行程很趕 973 01:08:05,411 --> 01:08:06,662 該死 974 01:08:11,166 --> 01:08:12,167 真是… 975 01:08:12,251 --> 01:08:13,836 好了,我們開始動作 976 01:08:14,336 --> 01:08:15,337 動起來 977 01:08:17,715 --> 01:08:19,717 (壞孩子) 978 01:08:19,800 --> 01:08:20,800 拜託 979 01:08:21,885 --> 01:08:23,554 別開玩笑了 980 01:08:23,637 --> 01:08:26,514 索普,你遲到了,怎麼了? 981 01:08:26,599 --> 01:08:29,059 看來你的網子有破洞了 982 01:08:29,143 --> 01:08:31,604 還是你只是讓人質出來運動一下? 983 01:08:31,687 --> 01:08:33,772 不,裡面有人搗亂我們的計畫 984 01:08:33,856 --> 01:08:36,233 讓情況變得很棘手,問題一堆 985 01:08:36,317 --> 01:08:37,568 誰?萊史東家的保全嗎? 986 01:08:37,651 --> 01:08:39,987 我覺得不是,是一個穿 聖誕裝闖入的人 987 01:08:40,070 --> 01:08:42,531 我得說,那個人很古怪 988 01:08:42,615 --> 01:08:44,074 他可能真的是聖誕老人 989 01:08:45,576 --> 01:08:48,204 她說什麼鬼話? -沒事,她在開玩笑 990 01:08:49,287 --> 01:08:50,581 我的小隊會處理 991 01:08:53,125 --> 01:08:56,629 B組,去找出那個混蛋 992 01:08:58,171 --> 01:09:02,092 現在要來開禮物了,對吧? 993 01:09:02,635 --> 01:09:06,138 你們都聽到了,追殺聖誕老人 994 01:09:07,181 --> 01:09:09,016 我看到了,他在屋頂上 995 01:09:09,767 --> 01:09:11,477 收到,我看到了 996 01:09:29,202 --> 01:09:31,162 好,糖梅,按下按鍵 997 01:09:38,461 --> 01:09:39,921 搞定了 998 01:09:40,005 --> 01:09:41,423 我們的萬能鑰匙 999 01:09:41,507 --> 01:09:43,467 開門魔法棒 1000 01:09:43,550 --> 01:09:45,094 這東西最好有用 1001 01:09:45,177 --> 01:09:47,679 我已經賭上我的職業生涯和名聲了 1002 01:09:47,763 --> 01:09:50,224 你可以再買新的名聲 1003 01:09:59,984 --> 01:10:03,028 小時候我最喜歡拆聖誕禮物了 1004 01:10:03,112 --> 01:10:05,781 我媽都用包裝紙把空盒子包起來 1005 01:10:07,199 --> 01:10:08,951 裡面沒有東西我也不在乎 1006 01:10:21,797 --> 01:10:24,884 這是他媽的惡作劇嗎? -不 1007 01:10:26,844 --> 01:10:28,220 你說錢會在這裡面的! 1008 01:10:28,304 --> 01:10:29,680 我跟你說 1009 01:10:30,389 --> 01:10:33,851 我的情報很可靠,有內鬼接應我 1010 01:10:35,728 --> 01:10:40,983 昨天有三億元送到這他媽的豪宅啊 1011 01:10:46,488 --> 01:10:48,365 一定是被人攔截了 1012 01:10:53,162 --> 01:10:54,872 王八蛋 1013 01:11:17,811 --> 01:11:18,812 該死 1014 01:11:19,355 --> 01:11:21,482 聖誕老人,你還好嗎? 1015 01:11:22,149 --> 01:11:23,359 聖誕老人? 1016 01:11:23,442 --> 01:11:26,320 新來了一群人,都在壞孩子名單上 1017 01:11:27,321 --> 01:11:30,074 他們身上有很多厲害的玩意兒 1018 01:11:31,450 --> 01:11:33,536 抱歉了,孩子,我恐怕不行了 1019 01:11:33,619 --> 01:11:35,287 不,別這麼說 1020 01:11:35,371 --> 01:11:36,539 壞孩子名單 1021 01:11:38,082 --> 01:11:39,583 變得越來越長 1022 01:11:49,051 --> 01:11:52,263 他在那棟建築裡,開夜視攝影機 1023 01:11:52,346 --> 01:11:53,681 不要放棄 1024 01:11:54,390 --> 01:11:56,809 這次你來許願,聖誕老人 1025 01:11:56,892 --> 01:11:58,811 只有這一次 1026 01:11:58,894 --> 01:12:01,105 如果你能許一個願望 1027 01:12:02,106 --> 01:12:03,649 那會是什麼? 1028 01:12:09,863 --> 01:12:12,074 我希望能再看到聖誕奶奶一眼 1029 01:12:13,409 --> 01:12:15,119 告訴她我有多愛她 1030 01:12:16,287 --> 01:12:18,539 那麼你就要實現這個願望 1031 01:12:19,498 --> 01:12:20,541 該死 1032 01:12:21,166 --> 01:12:22,918 不,不,不 1033 01:12:24,879 --> 01:12:26,088 我的天 1034 01:12:27,882 --> 01:12:28,924 不 1035 01:12:41,478 --> 01:12:44,398 你說這些人是壞小孩 1036 01:12:44,481 --> 01:12:46,692 你要怎麼對付壞小孩? 1037 01:12:47,484 --> 01:12:49,153 我會拿出大塊的煤炭 1038 01:12:49,236 --> 01:12:51,280 對,用煤炭給他們好看 1039 01:12:52,823 --> 01:12:55,367 把煤炭直接塞到他們的… 1040 01:12:55,451 --> 01:12:57,203 肛門 -對! 1041 01:13:03,209 --> 01:13:04,710 他們就在外面 1042 01:13:19,225 --> 01:13:21,143 聖誕老人要來打爆這些傢伙了 1043 01:13:21,977 --> 01:13:23,479 就像捏碎一盤餅乾那樣 1044 01:13:29,109 --> 01:13:30,110 動作快 1045 01:13:33,489 --> 01:13:34,657 嘿,鎖門 1046 01:13:37,076 --> 01:13:38,244 燈關掉 1047 01:13:40,079 --> 01:13:41,288 躲在我後面 1048 01:14:03,394 --> 01:14:05,354 好,我的錢他媽的在哪裡? 1049 01:14:05,437 --> 01:14:07,606 錢在哪裡? 1050 01:14:18,701 --> 01:14:21,453 夠了,我目前為止都對你們很好 1051 01:14:21,537 --> 01:14:24,665 但現在結束了,不玩什麼鬼遊戲了! 1052 01:14:25,165 --> 01:14:29,044 錢在哪裡?不說我就一個個斃了你們 1053 01:14:33,465 --> 01:14:34,967 在金庫裡 1054 01:14:35,050 --> 01:14:37,261 我剛剛去看過,要是裡面有錢 1055 01:14:37,344 --> 01:14:39,138 我現在就不會是這個臉了 1056 01:14:39,221 --> 01:14:40,598 不可能 1057 01:14:40,681 --> 01:14:42,725 要闖進去要好幾天 1058 01:14:42,808 --> 01:14:46,478 但我們有鑰匙,萊史東夫人 1059 01:14:47,688 --> 01:14:48,689 索普 1060 01:14:51,191 --> 01:14:53,611 這年頭誰都信不過了 1061 01:14:54,153 --> 01:14:58,782 不管是妳還是妳哪個蠢孩子把錢弄走了 1062 01:14:58,866 --> 01:15:00,492 我都很不爽 1063 01:15:00,576 --> 01:15:06,332 不爽到我想要隨便殺個人發洩 1064 01:15:07,374 --> 01:15:08,584 等一下,不好意思 1065 01:15:09,960 --> 01:15:11,086 什麼?什麼? 1066 01:15:11,170 --> 01:15:13,756 如果你殺死了知道錢在哪的人怎麼辦? 1067 01:15:16,508 --> 01:15:18,177 你們這些該死的傢伙 1068 01:15:22,973 --> 01:15:28,020 我們等待了整整一年 1069 01:15:29,647 --> 01:15:33,984 期盼這一天到來 1070 01:15:35,861 --> 01:15:40,532 大家開開心心齊聚一堂 1071 01:15:41,617 --> 01:15:43,285 和樂融融 1072 01:15:45,579 --> 01:15:49,542 歡樂時刻總會來臨 1073 01:15:51,168 --> 01:15:52,920 人人都能和平共處 1074 01:15:53,003 --> 01:15:54,046 看我的 1075 01:15:57,841 --> 01:16:02,388 也能活得長長久久 1076 01:16:03,931 --> 01:16:07,101 每個人都自由自在 1077 01:16:07,184 --> 01:16:10,437 你我都能發光發熱 1078 01:16:10,521 --> 01:16:13,482 聖誕佳節最開心 1079 01:16:13,566 --> 01:16:16,694 聖誕佳節最溫馨 1080 01:16:16,777 --> 01:16:19,488 希望天天都是聖誕節 1081 01:16:19,572 --> 01:16:21,115 給我點回應吧 1082 01:16:22,199 --> 01:16:23,492 到底是怎麼回事? 1083 01:16:23,576 --> 01:16:24,577 (失去訊號) 1084 01:16:24,660 --> 01:16:25,703 小孩眼中充滿歡樂 1085 01:16:25,786 --> 01:16:28,330 老人臉上露出微笑 1086 01:16:28,414 --> 01:16:32,751 永遠都能歡度聖誕節 1087 01:16:34,628 --> 01:16:38,591 我們今晚都是一家人 1088 01:16:40,092 --> 01:16:44,763 不管你的膚色是黑或是白 1089 01:16:47,057 --> 01:16:51,687 因為我們都能齊聲歡唱 1090 01:16:52,229 --> 01:16:54,189 和樂融融 1091 01:16:56,358 --> 01:17:00,404 一切都還來得及 1092 01:17:01,822 --> 01:17:03,407 這世界可以變成 1093 01:17:03,991 --> 01:17:06,869 一個更好的地方 1094 01:17:08,871 --> 01:17:13,250 只要維持祥和氣氛 1095 01:17:14,668 --> 01:17:17,546 不只在聖誕節這天 1096 01:17:17,630 --> 01:17:21,550 都能散佈和平訊息 1097 01:17:22,676 --> 01:17:26,013 聖誕佳節最開心 1098 01:17:26,096 --> 01:17:28,682 聖誕佳節最溫馨 1099 01:17:28,766 --> 01:17:33,562 希望天天都是聖誕節 1100 01:17:35,064 --> 01:17:38,651 小孩眼中充滿歡樂 1101 01:17:38,734 --> 01:17:41,487 老人臉上露出微笑 1102 01:17:41,570 --> 01:17:45,741 永遠都能歡度聖誕節 1103 01:17:47,451 --> 01:17:49,036 今晚是平安夜 1104 01:17:49,995 --> 01:17:51,372 我的老天爺啊 1105 01:17:52,957 --> 01:17:55,876 不,我是聖誕老公公 1106 01:17:55,960 --> 01:17:58,254 今天是聖誕節 1107 01:17:59,880 --> 01:18:02,508 摯愛的親朋好友齊聚一堂 1108 01:18:03,092 --> 01:18:07,388 到處都充滿溫馨祥和氛圍 1109 01:18:08,389 --> 01:18:10,057 天哪! -給你吧 1110 01:18:10,599 --> 01:18:12,184 放在襪子裡的禮物 1111 01:18:13,644 --> 01:18:15,563 在哪裡?媽的 1112 01:18:15,646 --> 01:18:17,147 靠,靠 1113 01:18:17,231 --> 01:18:19,233 靠… 1114 01:18:19,316 --> 01:18:21,193 這我非看不可 -靠! 1115 01:18:23,737 --> 01:18:26,323 我的媽媽咪啊 1116 01:18:28,033 --> 01:18:32,580 葛楚不可能把這種事告訴外人 1117 01:18:32,663 --> 01:18:33,664 所以 1118 01:18:34,498 --> 01:18:37,042 姻親不可能知道 1119 01:18:38,127 --> 01:18:41,046 所以我可以斃了她 1120 01:18:41,964 --> 01:18:44,091 除非你們告訴我該死的錢在哪裡 1121 01:18:44,174 --> 01:18:47,136 不要,拜託,是聖誕節欸 -閉嘴! 1122 01:18:49,138 --> 01:18:52,391 你們要是不說,我保證她的頭會爆開 1123 01:18:52,474 --> 01:18:53,559 是我! 1124 01:18:54,727 --> 01:18:56,645 什麼? -對,是我幹的 1125 01:18:56,729 --> 01:18:58,814 我把錢移走了 -你別傻了 1126 01:18:58,898 --> 01:19:00,691 那錢是我們唯一的籌碼! -什麼? 1127 01:19:00,774 --> 01:19:02,526 有槍指著我老婆的頭啊! 1128 01:19:02,610 --> 01:19:04,486 對,你怎麼知道我們會來? 1129 01:19:04,570 --> 01:19:06,322 我不知道,我只是把錢偷走了 1130 01:19:06,405 --> 01:19:08,490 對!只是巧合 -我的天哪 1131 01:19:08,574 --> 01:19:10,242 我打算把錢帶走 1132 01:19:10,326 --> 01:19:12,369 今晚就帶著妻女落跑 1133 01:19:12,453 --> 01:19:13,787 永遠不再回來 1134 01:19:14,955 --> 01:19:19,001 然後我媽會在隔天一早 1135 01:19:19,084 --> 01:19:21,837 邊喝威士忌邊看卡片,發現真相 1136 01:19:21,921 --> 01:19:24,089 多年來我一直告訴你 1137 01:19:24,173 --> 01:19:26,759 不要管你媽那些該死的錢了! 1138 01:19:26,842 --> 01:19:29,762 結果你的解決方法卻是偷走一大筆錢 1139 01:19:30,846 --> 01:19:34,391 對,妳這麼一講聽起來是很蠢 1140 01:19:34,475 --> 01:19:37,019 你現在怎麼能這樣?真是噁心 1141 01:19:37,102 --> 01:19:38,812 媽媽都給了我們那麼多啊 1142 01:19:38,896 --> 01:19:40,648 拜託,愛芙,她給我們一切 1143 01:19:40,731 --> 01:19:43,234 都是為了確保我們知道她有權全數收回 1144 01:19:43,901 --> 01:19:47,029 這麼多年來我對妳卑躬屈膝 1145 01:19:47,112 --> 01:19:52,034 同時卻摧毀了我生命中 唯一美好的事物 1146 01:19:52,660 --> 01:19:56,080 現在是怎樣?家族治療還是搶劫? 1147 01:19:56,163 --> 01:19:58,624 談心時間結束了 1148 01:19:58,707 --> 01:20:00,876 好了,錢在哪裡? 1149 01:20:07,341 --> 01:20:08,717 瞧瞧這個小傻瓜 1150 01:20:14,265 --> 01:20:16,308 糟糕 -怎麼了? 1151 01:20:16,392 --> 01:20:17,810 壞人找到我了 1152 01:20:17,893 --> 01:20:19,228 好 1153 01:20:19,311 --> 01:20:20,479 我來了 1154 01:20:27,611 --> 01:20:30,948 告訴妳,看得到的陷阱是沒用的 1155 01:20:33,826 --> 01:20:35,119 妳這個小笨蛋 1156 01:20:39,415 --> 01:20:40,583 老天,靠北! 1157 01:20:44,753 --> 01:20:47,089 救救我! 1158 01:20:48,173 --> 01:20:50,301 你…你會沒事的 1159 01:20:51,260 --> 01:20:53,012 坐好,我等等就回來 1160 01:20:55,514 --> 01:20:57,600 讓我先殺了這個小混蛋 1161 01:21:01,437 --> 01:21:03,397 妳這個該死的小混蛋 1162 01:21:52,363 --> 01:21:54,698 妳死定了!媽的妳死定了! 1163 01:22:02,706 --> 01:22:04,375 該死的爛東西 1164 01:22:10,756 --> 01:22:11,757 妳這個… 1165 01:22:30,943 --> 01:22:32,194 看我的! 1166 01:22:52,006 --> 01:22:53,632 該死的混… 1167 01:23:03,017 --> 01:23:04,018 靠 1168 01:23:05,311 --> 01:23:06,687 抓到妳了,小鬼 1169 01:23:06,770 --> 01:23:08,230 是嗎?注意頭上 1170 01:23:10,691 --> 01:23:12,192 妳就這麼點能耐? 1171 01:23:15,237 --> 01:23:16,614 我受夠了 1172 01:23:43,098 --> 01:23:44,141 聖誕老人! 1173 01:23:54,401 --> 01:23:56,570 嗨,楚蒂 1174 01:23:56,654 --> 01:23:59,990 我學電影做陷阱,好好玩 1175 01:24:08,249 --> 01:24:09,667 楚蒂,我要妳… 1176 01:24:10,501 --> 01:24:11,669 幫我一個忙 1177 01:24:12,753 --> 01:24:15,798 轉過去,眼睛閉起來 1178 01:24:15,881 --> 01:24:20,719 把手指塞進耳朵,大聲唱聖誕快樂歌 1179 01:24:22,096 --> 01:24:25,724 叮叮噹,叮叮噹,鈴聲多響亮 1180 01:24:26,225 --> 01:24:28,102 你看他不懼風霜… 1181 01:24:28,185 --> 01:24:31,105 妳差點殺掉一個無辜的孩子 1182 01:24:32,273 --> 01:24:34,692 無辜? -妳很壞 1183 01:24:35,776 --> 01:24:38,028 壞小孩 -面容多麼慈祥 1184 01:24:38,112 --> 01:24:39,572 壞小孩! 1185 01:24:39,655 --> 01:24:42,992 這是萊史東家的遺傳,我們很壞 1186 01:24:43,075 --> 01:24:44,869 所以我懂你為什麼會這麼做 1187 01:24:44,952 --> 01:24:47,413 你外公告訴我,公司永遠不會交給我 1188 01:24:47,496 --> 01:24:49,665 因為女生沒有能力 1189 01:24:49,748 --> 01:24:51,834 我只好把公司從他手裡搶過來 1190 01:24:51,917 --> 01:24:54,962 重點是,萊史東家的人會為自己爭取 1191 01:24:55,045 --> 01:24:56,088 我以你為傲,兒子 1192 01:24:56,171 --> 01:24:58,048 好了,東西到底在哪裡? 1193 01:24:59,967 --> 01:25:01,552 錢就藏在裡面 1194 01:25:03,721 --> 01:25:07,558 三智者給祂禮物,分別是乳香 1195 01:25:08,434 --> 01:25:09,602 沒藥 1196 01:25:11,395 --> 01:25:14,148 還有冷冰冰的現鈔 1197 01:25:14,231 --> 01:25:15,733 裝起來吧,兄弟 1198 01:25:15,816 --> 01:25:17,860 好了,我們拿到錢了 1199 01:25:18,527 --> 01:25:20,946 殺掉人質,我們外面會合 1200 01:25:21,030 --> 01:25:22,865 什麼?不行 1201 01:25:26,285 --> 01:25:29,705 媽 -沒事,伯特,沒事的 1202 01:25:29,788 --> 01:25:30,998 好了 1203 01:25:32,166 --> 01:25:33,542 都給我站起來 1204 01:25:34,376 --> 01:25:38,797 殺人時間到 1205 01:25:38,881 --> 01:25:42,343 拜託,你們不想殺我們的,真的 1206 01:25:43,260 --> 01:25:44,553 我想殺 1207 01:25:45,095 --> 01:25:47,640 我真的真的很想殺 1208 01:25:47,723 --> 01:25:49,308 我要從妳開始 1209 01:25:49,391 --> 01:25:51,310 不… -等一下 1210 01:25:54,271 --> 01:25:57,316 你應該先殺舅媽 -搞屁啊,伯特? 1211 01:25:57,399 --> 01:26:00,819 你連在死前都不放過當混蛋嗎? 1212 01:26:00,903 --> 01:26:02,363 我建議你先殺他 -什麼? 1213 01:26:02,446 --> 01:26:05,574 等一下,不!不要先殺他 1214 01:26:05,658 --> 01:26:09,119 不准叫他混蛋,妳這個拜金女 1215 01:26:09,203 --> 01:26:11,997 好,我改變心意,先殺這個酒鬼女人 1216 01:26:12,081 --> 01:26:14,708 不准叫我媽酒鬼女人 -你媽就是酒鬼 1217 01:26:14,792 --> 01:26:16,544 妳是拜金女 -我是拜金女? 1218 01:26:16,627 --> 01:26:18,587 那我幹嘛工作? -妳到底來幹嘛? 1219 01:26:18,671 --> 01:26:20,130 妳根本不是這個家的一份子 1220 01:26:20,214 --> 01:26:22,174 她是工程師! -妳倒是很懂嘛… 1221 01:26:22,258 --> 01:26:23,551 閉嘴! 1222 01:26:23,634 --> 01:26:24,843 我根本不知道 1223 01:26:27,763 --> 01:26:30,641 真是狗咬狗一嘴毛 1224 01:26:32,351 --> 01:26:34,603 你們不能有點尊嚴地死去嗎? 1225 01:26:39,692 --> 01:26:40,985 放開我! 1226 01:26:41,610 --> 01:26:42,611 好了好了 1227 01:26:43,279 --> 01:26:44,530 去你的! 1228 01:26:45,072 --> 01:26:47,825 居然吼我兒子 -怪胎! 1229 01:26:47,908 --> 01:26:49,702 居然搧我巴掌,王八蛋 1230 01:26:49,785 --> 01:26:52,079 然後你的帽子醜得要命! 1231 01:27:01,630 --> 01:27:02,715 他… 1232 01:27:03,465 --> 01:27:04,758 是不是死了? 1233 01:27:09,305 --> 01:27:10,556 對 1234 01:27:12,057 --> 01:27:13,058 謝了,琳達 1235 01:27:13,767 --> 01:27:16,353 一家人同心協力是挺好的改變 1236 01:27:18,731 --> 01:27:20,232 該死! -我要… 1237 01:27:25,487 --> 01:27:26,864 這是幫摩根報仇 1238 01:27:27,531 --> 01:27:31,619 他可能很蠢,但身材真的很讚 1239 01:27:34,580 --> 01:27:36,498 楚蒂! -媽咪! 1240 01:27:38,167 --> 01:27:39,376 感謝老天,寶貝 1241 01:27:40,961 --> 01:27:43,130 妳沒事吧? -我沒事,媽咪 1242 01:27:43,214 --> 01:27:44,215 好 1243 01:27:44,298 --> 01:27:46,759 這是我朋友,聖誕老人 1244 01:27:51,472 --> 01:27:53,307 搞什麼鬼? 1245 01:27:53,390 --> 01:27:55,017 謝謝… 1246 01:27:55,100 --> 01:27:58,145 尼可拉斯, 叫我聖誕老人就好 1247 01:27:59,897 --> 01:28:02,149 你們應該趕快離開,這裡很危險 1248 01:28:02,691 --> 01:28:04,735 他們帶走了我丈夫和她祖母 1249 01:28:06,278 --> 01:28:09,156 有人會用這東西嗎? -我應該會 1250 01:28:09,240 --> 01:28:10,908 我以前會跟爸爸去打獵 1251 01:28:12,660 --> 01:28:13,702 收到 1252 01:28:13,786 --> 01:28:15,454 情況如何? -一切順利 1253 01:28:15,538 --> 01:28:16,830 保持警覺,兄弟 1254 01:28:18,415 --> 01:28:19,416 我來了! 1255 01:28:19,500 --> 01:28:20,501 小心了! 1256 01:28:22,419 --> 01:28:23,837 誰開槍了?是誰… 1257 01:28:25,256 --> 01:28:26,423 隊長,趴下! 1258 01:28:33,055 --> 01:28:34,932 格殺勿論,火力全開 1259 01:28:52,074 --> 01:28:53,325 夠了,我們他媽的快閃 1260 01:28:53,409 --> 01:28:54,785 走吧 -去哪裡? 1261 01:28:54,869 --> 01:28:57,121 動作快點,老屁股 -走吧 1262 01:28:57,204 --> 01:28:58,831 不要用你的髒手碰我 1263 01:29:09,884 --> 01:29:11,427 該死 1264 01:29:11,510 --> 01:29:14,638 我的蛋蛋!我的蛋蛋! 1265 01:29:15,389 --> 01:29:16,390 好 1266 01:29:31,864 --> 01:29:35,451 我的蛋,你幹嘛要射我的… 1267 01:29:38,078 --> 01:29:39,455 噢,耶穌 1268 01:29:41,081 --> 01:29:42,082 對不起 1269 01:29:44,210 --> 01:29:46,712 別擔心我們,尼可拉斯,交給我們吧 1270 01:29:47,713 --> 01:29:51,091 那是誰? -他說自己是尼可拉斯 1271 01:29:53,677 --> 01:29:56,805 糟糕,楚蒂 -她在房子裡,沒事 1272 01:29:56,889 --> 01:29:58,224 她很安全 1273 01:29:58,849 --> 01:30:00,768 感謝神 -對啊 1274 01:30:22,081 --> 01:30:23,415 不,不要 1275 01:30:23,499 --> 01:30:25,376 靠! -不…等等 1276 01:31:10,671 --> 01:31:13,382 該死! 1277 01:31:15,968 --> 01:31:17,428 呵呵! 1278 01:31:18,470 --> 01:31:19,471 呵呵! 1279 01:31:20,306 --> 01:31:21,307 靠! 1280 01:32:06,018 --> 01:32:07,436 去死吧 1281 01:33:00,948 --> 01:33:02,741 來啊,你來啊 1282 01:33:02,825 --> 01:33:04,827 對,在這邊,在這邊! 1283 01:33:05,995 --> 01:33:06,996 聖誕老人! 1284 01:33:08,247 --> 01:33:09,290 來吧! 1285 01:33:10,583 --> 01:33:11,584 就是這樣 1286 01:33:55,336 --> 01:33:56,337 靠 1287 01:34:05,846 --> 01:34:07,431 (壞小孩 吉米馬丁尼茲) 1288 01:34:13,562 --> 01:34:15,689 {\an8}(殺了最好的朋友、傷了媽媽的心) 1289 01:34:15,773 --> 01:34:17,524 {\an8}(小偷、殺人犯、痛恨聖誕節) 1290 01:34:20,361 --> 01:34:21,403 你是真的? 1291 01:34:23,656 --> 01:34:25,991 你就是他 1292 01:34:29,286 --> 01:34:30,496 你就是你 1293 01:34:30,579 --> 01:34:33,499 我講了很多次了 1294 01:34:33,582 --> 01:34:36,460 該死的真聖誕老人 1295 01:34:37,127 --> 01:34:39,004 你今晚運氣不好,老弟 1296 01:34:39,630 --> 01:34:41,465 是嗎?我覺得你錯了 1297 01:34:42,174 --> 01:34:44,969 我覺得我的悲慘一生都是為了這一刻 1298 01:34:45,511 --> 01:34:50,516 因為只要殺了你,這該死的節日就沒了 1299 01:34:51,475 --> 01:34:52,977 我會不計代價 1300 01:34:55,771 --> 01:34:57,606 聖誕節就在今晚終結 1301 01:36:25,861 --> 01:36:26,904 來吧! 1302 01:36:26,987 --> 01:36:28,280 來吧,我們結束一切吧! 1303 01:37:16,829 --> 01:37:19,582 最後一個聖誕節 1304 01:37:29,592 --> 01:37:31,302 只要你相信,就不會結束 1305 01:37:33,596 --> 01:37:35,139 不! 1306 01:38:03,876 --> 01:38:07,087 我搞不懂現在到底是怎樣 1307 01:38:10,257 --> 01:38:11,592 但一切要結束了 1308 01:38:17,056 --> 01:38:18,515 你說得沒錯 1309 01:38:28,025 --> 01:38:29,652 楚蒂,小心 1310 01:38:33,697 --> 01:38:34,698 聖誕老人 1311 01:38:35,991 --> 01:38:37,785 糟糕,聖誕老人 1312 01:38:39,411 --> 01:38:40,829 糟了 1313 01:38:48,379 --> 01:38:49,797 你救了我女兒 1314 01:38:50,965 --> 01:38:52,216 不 1315 01:38:53,300 --> 01:38:54,718 是她救了我 1316 01:38:55,344 --> 01:38:57,721 快救他,救救他 1317 01:38:57,805 --> 01:39:00,057 親愛的,我們恐怕無能為力 1318 01:39:00,140 --> 01:39:01,308 沒關係,沒關係 1319 01:39:01,934 --> 01:39:04,353 太晚了,來不及了 1320 01:39:06,689 --> 01:39:07,690 好冷 1321 01:39:09,900 --> 01:39:11,527 我好多年不覺得冷了 1322 01:39:12,278 --> 01:39:13,612 要讓他保暖 1323 01:39:15,030 --> 01:39:18,242 火快滅了,我們要找東西來燒 1324 01:39:21,078 --> 01:39:22,371 我有個想法 1325 01:39:29,211 --> 01:39:32,172 不,不行,傑森,不行 1326 01:39:32,715 --> 01:39:36,051 拜託,聖誕老人,你不要死 1327 01:39:39,889 --> 01:39:42,641 傑森,先等一下,你要幹嘛? 1328 01:39:43,475 --> 01:39:45,978 我已經比凡人活得久很多了 1329 01:39:46,061 --> 01:39:47,605 他就只剩一口氣了 1330 01:39:47,688 --> 01:39:50,190 你們在想什麼?不需要燒錢吧 1331 01:39:50,274 --> 01:39:51,275 好,再多一點,對 1332 01:39:51,358 --> 01:39:54,028 你不能死,聖誕老人,你要醒來 1333 01:39:54,111 --> 01:39:56,405 我的聖誕魔法大概用完了 1334 01:39:58,157 --> 01:39:59,158 對不起 1335 01:40:01,577 --> 01:40:02,578 我很… 1336 01:40:02,661 --> 01:40:05,080 我很抱歉不能實現妳的願望 1337 01:40:07,166 --> 01:40:08,334 這拿去,拿去 1338 01:40:08,417 --> 01:40:09,668 但你已經實現了 1339 01:40:13,714 --> 01:40:16,759 聖誕老人,不要死,醒醒 1340 01:40:17,301 --> 01:40:18,302 醒醒啊 1341 01:40:18,385 --> 01:40:20,221 我們要讓他靠近火堆 1342 01:40:20,763 --> 01:40:21,764 傑森 1343 01:40:24,141 --> 01:40:25,184 醒醒啊 1344 01:40:26,602 --> 01:40:27,645 拜託 1345 01:40:27,728 --> 01:40:28,729 不 1346 01:40:34,652 --> 01:40:36,570 我真的覺得很遺憾 1347 01:40:42,201 --> 01:40:43,494 這個人… 1348 01:40:46,038 --> 01:40:49,416 這個勇敢無畏的人…不管他是誰 1349 01:40:49,500 --> 01:40:53,128 他是聖誕老人,真的聖誕老人,真的 1350 01:40:53,796 --> 01:40:56,006 而且我還是相信他 1351 01:40:57,049 --> 01:40:59,134 我永遠都相信你,聖誕老人 1352 01:41:04,765 --> 01:41:06,058 我也相信他 1353 01:41:09,311 --> 01:41:10,479 他救了楚蒂 1354 01:41:12,314 --> 01:41:13,774 他救了我們全家 1355 01:41:16,485 --> 01:41:18,153 有什麼比這更真實的? 1356 01:41:23,033 --> 01:41:24,243 那麼也許… 1357 01:41:27,329 --> 01:41:28,831 我也相信他 1358 01:41:29,915 --> 01:41:31,292 我也是 1359 01:41:34,128 --> 01:41:36,171 該死,我應該… 1360 01:41:38,007 --> 01:41:39,967 我應該也相信吧 1361 01:41:40,050 --> 01:41:41,927 媽的 1362 01:41:42,011 --> 01:41:43,512 我也相信 1363 01:41:54,607 --> 01:41:56,692 天哪 -聖誕老人! 1364 01:42:02,406 --> 01:42:03,407 你… 1365 01:42:05,201 --> 01:42:06,869 你不是死了嗎? 1366 01:42:07,828 --> 01:42:09,330 這是聖誕魔法 1367 01:42:10,664 --> 01:42:14,835 我還是搞不清楚原理是什麼 1368 01:42:21,467 --> 01:42:22,760 謝謝你 1369 01:42:22,843 --> 01:42:24,803 我不知道該怎麼報答你 1370 01:42:25,387 --> 01:42:28,224 你們讓我死而復生,所以扯平了 1371 01:42:29,516 --> 01:42:32,937 扯平了?我們燒光了50萬現金欸 1372 01:42:34,396 --> 01:42:36,774 聖誕老人,你看看是誰來了? 1373 01:42:44,573 --> 01:42:47,451 現在你們倒是出現了 1374 01:42:48,577 --> 01:42:51,622 把我丟下來等死,等我搞定了才回來 1375 01:42:51,705 --> 01:42:56,085 聽著,我要把你們煮成燉肉給精靈吃 1376 01:42:58,462 --> 01:43:03,634 對,就是在說你,閃電! 1377 01:43:03,717 --> 01:43:05,427 還有你,歡欣 1378 01:43:11,016 --> 01:43:13,686 你們拿了我的袋子,備用的 1379 01:43:13,769 --> 01:43:16,397 你們回家拿了我的備用袋子? 1380 01:43:19,108 --> 01:43:21,860 唉唷,真是沒辦法生你們的氣了 1381 01:43:24,363 --> 01:43:26,865 沒辦法 1382 01:43:36,542 --> 01:43:39,962 (你應該也會需要這個 聖誕奶奶) 1383 01:43:45,134 --> 01:43:47,928 嘿,美女 -是爆頭錘! 1384 01:44:01,233 --> 01:44:04,069 看來該說再見了,我得走了 1385 01:44:05,321 --> 01:44:06,488 你一定要走嗎? 1386 01:44:10,743 --> 01:44:11,994 今天是平安夜啊 1387 01:44:12,077 --> 01:44:14,580 名單上還有很多乖小孩 1388 01:44:14,705 --> 01:44:16,874 他們都在等我去發禮物 1389 01:44:19,335 --> 01:44:20,586 謝謝妳 1390 01:44:21,670 --> 01:44:22,671 為什麼? 1391 01:44:23,505 --> 01:44:25,132 謝謝妳相信我 1392 01:44:25,216 --> 01:44:28,010 提醒我聖誕節還是很重要的 1393 01:44:29,970 --> 01:44:33,265 我也還有存在的意義 1394 01:44:36,393 --> 01:44:38,229 妳讓我重新找回“呵呵呵” 1395 01:44:48,364 --> 01:44:50,157 好了,該閃了 1396 01:44:54,411 --> 01:44:57,373 聖誕快樂! 1397 01:45:00,876 --> 01:45:06,757 猛衝、舞者、歡欣、雌狐,快跑! 1398 01:45:06,840 --> 01:45:13,013 慧星、邱比特、暴雷、閃電,衝啊! 1399 01:45:13,097 --> 01:45:16,767 走吧,你們這些美麗的小混蛋! 1400 01:45:16,850 --> 01:45:19,770 我們還得去幹活兒呢! 1401 01:45:23,065 --> 01:45:25,234 呵呵呵! 1402 01:45:25,734 --> 01:45:29,196 聖誕快樂! 1403 01:46:57,368 --> 01:47:02,706 嘿唷,伯特駕到! 有好料的給伯粉 1404 01:47:02,790 --> 01:47:05,167 看到這傢伙了嗎?他死到底了 1405 01:47:05,251 --> 01:47:08,379 聖誕老人是真的,小心別進壞孩子名單 1406 01:47:08,462 --> 01:47:10,714 要乖,伯特萊史東,先閃 1407 01:47:12,049 --> 01:47:14,051 翻譯:甯安