1
00:00:26,173 --> 00:00:28,536
-Action.
-Design.
2
00:01:08,314 --> 00:01:10,644
-Another one?
3
00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:14,648
Well, I'm still vertical,
so I'd like to change that.
4
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,758
:
Ho, ho.
5
00:01:27,399 --> 00:01:29,465
MAN:
Bitter. Pint.
6
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:32,435
You just get off?
7
00:01:37,541 --> 00:01:39,442
I'm taking a break.
8
00:01:39,477 --> 00:01:41,642
Between shifts,
I guess you could say.
9
00:01:41,677 --> 00:01:43,347
-Hmm.
-You ain't driving, are you?
10
00:01:43,382 --> 00:01:46,185
I steer a little, but the
reindeer do most of the work.
11
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,552
Mm-hmm.
12
00:01:50,587 --> 00:01:52,620
This is my, uh,
fourth year as a Santa.
13
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:53,951
Ah.
14
00:01:53,986 --> 00:01:55,293
How about you?
15
00:01:55,328 --> 00:01:57,625
Lost count.
16
00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:00,628
I forget why I started doing it
in the first place.
17
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:03,697
Same reason anybody
does anything.
18
00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,699
The money.
19
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:08,306
:
Money. Money.
20
00:02:08,341 --> 00:02:10,308
This whole planet runs on greed.
21
00:02:15,172 --> 00:02:17,480
It's the look on
the kiddies' faces, innit?
22
00:02:17,515 --> 00:02:19,218
That's what does it for me.
23
00:02:19,253 --> 00:02:22,848
-Ah, the look. Yeah, that look.
24
00:02:22,883 --> 00:02:25,081
Lasts about two seconds.
25
00:02:25,116 --> 00:02:27,358
As soon as they're finished
unwrapping,
26
00:02:27,393 --> 00:02:29,921
they want the next present,
27
00:02:29,956 --> 00:02:32,594
they want the next cool thing.
28
00:02:32,629 --> 00:02:34,596
That's how this world works.
29
00:02:34,631 --> 00:02:36,697
And kids--
what kids have become.
30
00:02:36,732 --> 00:02:40,899
They're just like
little junkies.
31
00:02:40,934 --> 00:02:43,506
They're little shits.
They just demand.
32
00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:45,167
They don't believe.
33
00:02:45,202 --> 00:02:48,775
They just want, crave, consume.
34
00:02:53,815 --> 00:02:56,178
Maybe this is my last year.
35
00:02:58,325 --> 00:03:00,292
The last Christmas.
36
00:03:04,089 --> 00:03:07,596
Well, I can't stand seeing
another Santa in distress.
37
00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:10,368
Put his drinks on my tab.
38
00:03:10,403 --> 00:03:11,930
-Okay?
-Yeah.
39
00:03:11,965 --> 00:03:14,471
Oh, very merry of you. Okay.
40
00:03:14,506 --> 00:03:16,968
I better get going.
41
00:03:17,003 --> 00:03:18,970
Presents aren't gonna
deliver themselves.
42
00:03:20,237 --> 00:03:22,281
Oh, uh...
43
00:03:22,316 --> 00:03:24,140
For your grandson.
Save me a trip.
44
00:03:24,175 --> 00:03:26,208
It's, uh, that new video game.
45
00:03:26,243 --> 00:03:28,815
It's Astro Blaster,
Blaster Astro.
46
00:03:28,850 --> 00:03:30,817
I-I don't know.
47
00:03:30,852 --> 00:03:32,291
Merry Christmas.
48
00:03:32,326 --> 00:03:34,656
How'd he know
my grandson's name?
49
00:03:34,691 --> 00:03:37,956
-How'd he know I have
a grandson? -
50
00:03:37,991 --> 00:03:42,059
Oi! That door leads to the roof.
51
00:03:42,094 --> 00:03:43,467
Piss head.
52
00:03:43,502 --> 00:03:45,964
Go easy on him. It's Christmas.
53
00:03:48,166 --> 00:03:51,607
Hey! You can't be up here.
54
00:03:51,642 --> 00:03:55,171
If you break your neck,
I'm the one...
55
00:04:15,028 --> 00:04:17,303
My God.
56
00:04:22,541 --> 00:04:24,343
It's...
57
00:04:26,413 --> 00:04:27,709
...beauti...
58
00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:17,022
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.
59
00:05:17,057 --> 00:05:19,222
There she is. Hello, muffin.
60
00:05:20,258 --> 00:05:22,368
Let's go see Grandma.
61
00:05:24,295 --> 00:05:25,833
Ooh.
62
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,901
Merry Christmas.
63
00:05:30,301 --> 00:05:31,773
Merry Christmas, Trudy.
64
00:05:31,808 --> 00:05:33,104
Merry...
65
00:05:33,139 --> 00:05:34,842
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!
66
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:38,076
Merry Christmas, Daddy,
ya filthy animal.
67
00:05:39,783 --> 00:05:41,849
She got to stay up late
and watch Home Alone.
68
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:42,916
Uh-huh.
69
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:45,853
It was so funny.
70
00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:48,383
-Yep.
-That... that hurts.
71
00:05:48,418 --> 00:05:49,791
-All morning.
-Okay, um...
72
00:05:49,826 --> 00:05:51,661
Thank you.
73
00:05:52,796 --> 00:05:54,763
For doing this.
74
00:05:54,798 --> 00:05:56,831
I'm not doing it for you.
75
00:05:58,637 --> 00:06:00,769
-It's Christmas!
-Yeah!
76
00:06:20,087 --> 00:06:21,658
Merry Christmas, Al.
77
00:06:21,693 --> 00:06:23,462
Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas.
78
00:06:23,497 --> 00:06:25,497
-Mr. Lightstone.
-Hey, Al.
79
00:06:25,532 --> 00:06:26,960
Hey, you back there, Tru?
80
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,632
Yeah, I bet you're excited
for Christmas.
81
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,568
What did you ask Santa for?
82
00:06:30,603 --> 00:06:32,229
-Not to work on Christmas Eve.
83
00:06:32,264 --> 00:06:33,736
Must've been naughty this year,
84
00:06:33,771 --> 00:06:35,507
-'cause here I am.
-Mm-hmm.
85
00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:37,509
Just make sure you let Santa
through the gates later, Al.
86
00:06:37,544 --> 00:06:38,939
-Yeah.
-Have a merry one, now.
87
00:06:38,974 --> 00:06:40,941
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas, Al.
88
00:06:40,976 --> 00:06:42,976
Merry Christmas, Tru.
89
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:44,406
-Thank you, Al.
-Yeah.
90
00:07:07,464 --> 00:07:09,904
I can't remember
where the second one is.
91
00:07:13,206 --> 00:07:15,041
MALE VOICE :
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
92
00:07:15,076 --> 00:07:17,010
Merry Christmas.
93
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:19,111
Hope you're on the nice list.
94
00:07:19,146 --> 00:07:21,817
WOMAN:
That doesn't go over there.
95
00:07:29,519 --> 00:07:31,288
WOMAN:
Excuse me.
96
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,327
What the hell is this?
97
00:07:37,362 --> 00:07:39,571
You are the worst
catering company on the planet.
98
00:07:39,606 --> 00:07:41,573
It's lengthwise, not width.
99
00:07:41,608 --> 00:07:43,399
Unbelievable.
100
00:07:59,956 --> 00:08:01,186
Okay.
101
00:08:01,221 --> 00:08:03,353
Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas.
102
00:08:03,388 --> 00:08:05,388
-Hi.
-I'm fine. Thank you so much.
103
00:08:08,129 --> 00:08:11,636
I'll never get over the fact
that you grew up like this.
104
00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:15,398
My therapist says
I'll never get over it, either.
105
00:08:16,368 --> 00:08:17,609
I need a drink.
106
00:08:22,308 --> 00:08:25,375
-Hey, look at that.
107
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,287
Hi, Linda.
108
00:08:36,322 --> 00:08:38,355
-Hey.
-How's it going, Alva?
109
00:08:38,390 --> 00:08:40,258
Mm-hmm. You gained weight.
110
00:08:40,293 --> 00:08:43,096
-Looks good on you, though.
111
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:45,032
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.
112
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,638
'Sup, limp dick?
113
00:08:48,268 --> 00:08:49,806
I got great feelings
about this Christmas.
114
00:08:49,841 --> 00:08:52,039
-You want to know why?
-Yeah.
115
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:53,975
'Cause I think this is the year
116
00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:55,977
that Mom's gonna
kick herself upstairs
117
00:08:56,012 --> 00:08:58,650
and choose one of us
to start running the show.
118
00:08:58,685 --> 00:09:02,918
And I got to tell you, Jason,
that I'm gunning for your ass.
119
00:09:04,581 --> 00:09:06,284
What would a Lightstone
family Christmas be
120
00:09:06,319 --> 00:09:08,055
without groveling
and infighting?
121
00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:11,091
SERVER:
Your rosé, ma'am.
122
00:09:11,126 --> 00:09:13,764
Honey, smile. It's Christmas.
123
00:09:13,799 --> 00:09:14,930
Mm.
124
00:09:14,965 --> 00:09:16,426
Good. Good girl.
125
00:09:18,936 --> 00:09:22,003
I am sorry about my sister.
126
00:09:27,538 --> 00:09:29,615
It is really nice to see you.
127
00:09:31,685 --> 00:09:33,982
To have you here.
128
00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:40,615
Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up
on all the hot goss.
129
00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:42,661
Hot goss. Okay.
130
00:09:42,696 --> 00:09:46,423
Um, well, you remember Bert,
my sister's pride and joy.
131
00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:50,196
Yo, yo, yo.
This is the Bert Locker
132
00:09:50,231 --> 00:09:54,101
living that bling life
on Christmas Eve.
133
00:09:55,566 --> 00:09:57,104
Hashtag "blessed."
134
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,777
He just got
what I can only assume
135
00:09:59,812 --> 00:10:02,846
will be his first of many
sexual harassment accusations.
136
00:10:02,881 --> 00:10:04,716
Mom paid off the school,
137
00:10:04,751 --> 00:10:06,685
and now the gymnasium
is named after us.
138
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,687
Of course she did.
139
00:10:08,722 --> 00:10:09,820
What about Tragic Mike?
140
00:10:09,855 --> 00:10:11,547
All I'm saying is,
141
00:10:11,582 --> 00:10:13,384
if I was on one of those planes,
142
00:10:13,419 --> 00:10:15,386
9/11 would've ended
with a bunch of terrorists
143
00:10:15,421 --> 00:10:19,126
skydiving over Connecticut
without their parachutes.
144
00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:21,161
-Yeah. You like that?
-Yes. Yes.
145
00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:23,394
-Yeah, I do like it.
-Ooh.
146
00:10:23,429 --> 00:10:25,660
-Kiss me in front of my son.
-Now, huh?
147
00:10:25,695 --> 00:10:28,366
-Mm...
148
00:10:28,401 --> 00:10:30,401
He might actually be
a decent actor.
149
00:10:30,436 --> 00:10:32,502
-Hmm. -He's been doing
an Oscar-worthy job
150
00:10:32,537 --> 00:10:35,010
-of pretending to find
my sister appealing. -
151
00:10:35,045 --> 00:10:37,375
Now he wants Mom
to fund a film for him.
152
00:10:40,578 --> 00:10:42,545
-It's Gertrude!
-It's Mom.
153
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:44,580
-Okay, let's do this.
-Okay, okay. Come on.
154
00:10:44,615 --> 00:10:46,219
-Come on. Bert, get over here.
-No. Mom. Mom!
155
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:47,550
-Positions.
-Game time, buddy.
156
00:10:47,585 --> 00:10:49,321
-Okay. Okay.
-This is my good side.
157
00:10:49,356 --> 00:10:51,059
-I'm busy. -ALVA:
We've gone over this! Come on!
158
00:10:51,094 --> 00:10:52,225
MORGAN:
Gosh. Okay.
159
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:53,424
ALVA:
Bert, get in the middle.
160
00:10:53,459 --> 00:10:54,766
:
So it begins.
161
00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:56,658
Seriously, come.
You know what that means.
162
00:10:56,693 --> 00:10:58,770
Shall we jockey forward?
163
00:10:58,805 --> 00:11:00,464
No.
164
00:11:01,698 --> 00:11:04,171
No, we can hang back.
165
00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:05,700
Yeah.
166
00:11:05,735 --> 00:11:07,273
Trudy, honey?
167
00:11:09,145 --> 00:11:10,441
Come on over here.
168
00:11:11,818 --> 00:11:14,016
Just, like...
169
00:11:14,051 --> 00:11:15,754
GERTRUDE:
Threaten 'em or bribe 'em.
170
00:11:15,789 --> 00:11:17,085
This isn't rocket science.
171
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,581
Same shit we always do.
172
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,584
That's what?
173
00:11:21,619 --> 00:11:23,894
That's the best you can do?
174
00:11:23,929 --> 00:11:25,764
Excited to see your grandma?
175
00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:27,194
Listen, you cocksucker.
176
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:29,097
It's Christmas,
so why don't you take
177
00:11:29,132 --> 00:11:31,033
your best offer, gift wrap it,
178
00:11:31,068 --> 00:11:33,970
and ram it up your fucking box.
179
00:11:35,402 --> 00:11:37,776
Maybe you don't
realize who I am.
180
00:11:37,811 --> 00:11:39,272
Those were Grandma words.
You know, forget them.
181
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,076
Oh, boy.
Look at Mr. Cool back here.
182
00:11:41,111 --> 00:11:43,375
Yeah, what's your angle, man?
Hmm?
183
00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,916
No angle.
I'm not doing anything.
184
00:11:45,951 --> 00:11:47,478
:
Oh, yeah.
185
00:11:47,513 --> 00:11:49,249
No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No!
186
00:11:49,284 --> 00:11:52,054
Don't shit in my mouth
and tell me it's chocolate cake.
187
00:11:52,089 --> 00:11:53,385
Grandma's cool.
188
00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:55,750
GERTRUDE:
I can make that story go away...
189
00:11:55,785 --> 00:11:57,422
I think your brother's
up to something.
190
00:11:57,457 --> 00:11:59,127
No, I just decided
to let you guys
191
00:11:59,162 --> 00:12:00,964
have all the fun
sucking up to Mom today.
192
00:12:00,999 --> 00:12:03,725
Please. You are King Suck-up.
193
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,760
You named your kid Gertrude.
194
00:12:07,302 --> 00:12:09,401
Alva, you named
your son Bertrude.
195
00:12:09,436 --> 00:12:11,601
Okay.
196
00:12:11,636 --> 00:12:13,504
Sorry, Bert,
but that's not a real name.
197
00:12:13,539 --> 00:12:16,078
Sorry, Linda. We can't all be
lucky enough to have daughters.
198
00:12:16,113 --> 00:12:17,849
Mom, I can hear you.
199
00:12:19,215 --> 00:12:21,677
You know something we don't.
What is it?
200
00:12:21,712 --> 00:12:23,283
No, I don't. I don't.
201
00:12:23,318 --> 00:12:24,581
I got it. Bingo.
202
00:12:24,616 --> 00:12:25,857
I'm onto you, man. Come on!
203
00:12:25,892 --> 00:12:27,617
-We were just...
-Come on,
204
00:12:27,652 --> 00:12:28,959
come on, come on, come on.
205
00:12:28,994 --> 00:12:31,093
-You big sack of shit.
-Ooh.
206
00:12:31,128 --> 00:12:32,864
No wonder your husband left you.
207
00:12:32,899 --> 00:12:34,965
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
208
00:12:36,232 --> 00:12:38,463
Merry Christmas to you, too,
Senator.
209
00:12:39,466 --> 00:12:41,169
-Merry Christmas, Mommy.
-Merry Christmas.
210
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:44,304
LINDA:
Merry Christmas.
211
00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:46,735
Why in the hell are you standing
all the way back there?
212
00:12:47,881 --> 00:12:49,771
Merry Christmas, Grandma!
213
00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:51,883
-Aw.
-Little bitch.
214
00:12:51,918 --> 00:12:54,314
Little Gertrude. And how is
my favorite granddaughter?
215
00:12:54,349 --> 00:12:56,712
Everybody calls me Trudy now.
216
00:12:56,747 --> 00:12:58,351
Trudy?
217
00:13:00,025 --> 00:13:02,157
-Well, that makes her
sound like a whore. -Okay.
218
00:13:02,192 --> 00:13:04,555
Oh, she doesn't even know
the meaning of the word.
219
00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:06,997
I'm starving. Let's eat.
220
00:13:07,032 --> 00:13:08,559
ALVA:
Great.
221
00:13:08,594 --> 00:13:10,968
And, Mom, I think Gertrude
is a beautiful name.
222
00:13:11,003 --> 00:13:13,333
Mm-hmm.
I only call her Gertrude.
223
00:13:13,368 --> 00:13:14,664
-Merry Christmas, Gertrude.
-Come on, Bertrude.
224
00:14:19,599 --> 00:14:22,138
Another fucking Christmas.
225
00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:27,440
TRUDY:
I made these all by myself.
226
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,145
-JASON: No way.
-LINDA: Mm-hmm.
227
00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,147
I even made one
that looks exactly like Santa.
228
00:14:31,182 --> 00:14:33,578
-Exactly.
-Yeah.
229
00:14:34,581 --> 00:14:35,987
Santa gets a candy cane, too?
230
00:14:36,022 --> 00:14:37,285
Yeah.
231
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,682
Mm, okay.
232
00:14:40,191 --> 00:14:41,751
It's perfect.
233
00:14:41,786 --> 00:14:43,555
No peeking.
234
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:45,887
This house has so many chimneys.
235
00:14:47,528 --> 00:14:49,594
How will Santa know
which one to come down?
236
00:14:49,629 --> 00:14:51,431
Oh, Santa just knows.
237
00:14:51,466 --> 00:14:52,971
Christmas magic.
238
00:14:56,141 --> 00:14:57,976
Honey, what's wrong?
239
00:14:58,011 --> 00:15:01,144
Daddy never took me to see
Santa at the mall this year.
240
00:15:02,147 --> 00:15:04,180
LINDA:
He didn't.
241
00:15:06,646 --> 00:15:08,646
I am so sorry.
242
00:15:10,617 --> 00:15:12,518
This year has been weird.
243
00:15:12,553 --> 00:15:16,192
I never got to tell Santa
what I wanted for Christmas.
244
00:15:16,227 --> 00:15:18,557
Oh, honey. Come here.
245
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,926
You know what?
246
00:15:24,961 --> 00:15:29,205
You go put your pj's on,
247
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,076
and I will be two minutes.
248
00:15:38,084 --> 00:15:40,183
:
Yes!
249
00:15:41,747 --> 00:15:44,286
Okay...
250
00:15:52,197 --> 00:15:53,790
:
Yes.
251
00:15:57,598 --> 00:15:59,433
Yes!
252
00:16:01,239 --> 00:16:05,505
Because you have been so good
to me and Mommy this year,
253
00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:09,476
we decided that
you could have one gift...
254
00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:11,313
early!
255
00:16:11,348 --> 00:16:13,612
-Really?
256
00:16:17,717 --> 00:16:19,783
What is it?
257
00:16:21,952 --> 00:16:25,393
That is a very special
walkie-talkie.
258
00:16:25,428 --> 00:16:26,823
It's magic.
259
00:16:26,858 --> 00:16:28,198
-Magic?
-Mm-hmm.
260
00:16:28,233 --> 00:16:30,497
What you got right there
261
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,928
is a direct hotline
to Santa Claus himself.
262
00:16:32,963 --> 00:16:35,601
-I can talk to Santa?
-Oh, yeah.
263
00:16:35,636 --> 00:16:39,407
It's just like writing him
a letter... but better.
264
00:16:39,442 --> 00:16:40,573
Mm-hmm.
265
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:43,345
Now, the only thing is,
266
00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:45,776
he might not have time
to answer you.
267
00:16:45,811 --> 00:16:47,580
He's delivering a lot
of presents tonight.
268
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,186
Mm-hmm.
269
00:16:49,221 --> 00:16:51,551
But he'll hear everything
you want to say to him.
270
00:16:58,087 --> 00:16:59,889
Hello, Santa?
271
00:16:59,924 --> 00:17:03,365
This is Trudy Lightstone.
272
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,532
I hope you're having
a nice night.
273
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,699
JASON:
Mm.
274
00:17:07,734 --> 00:17:12,176
It's really cold tonight,
so don't forget your mittens.
275
00:17:13,245 --> 00:17:16,576
So, I wanted to tell you, Santa,
276
00:17:16,611 --> 00:17:18,578
I was extra good this year,
277
00:17:18,613 --> 00:17:22,285
so I wrote a big list for you
with all the stuff I wanted.
278
00:17:23,684 --> 00:17:25,783
But then...
279
00:17:25,818 --> 00:17:29,094
then I realized
I don't need any of that.
280
00:17:30,262 --> 00:17:33,626
I really only want
one present for Christmas.
281
00:17:35,465 --> 00:17:38,994
I want Mommy and Daddy
to make up
282
00:17:39,029 --> 00:17:41,304
so we can be a family again.
283
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,406
Okay.
284
00:17:44,441 --> 00:17:46,375
Good night, Santa.
285
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,774
Good night, Mr. Bunny.
286
00:18:02,294 --> 00:18:03,953
Which one of you did that?
287
00:18:05,363 --> 00:18:06,791
You can't go two seconds without
288
00:18:06,826 --> 00:18:08,529
crapping on the roof
like a bunch of pigeons?
289
00:18:10,236 --> 00:18:13,138
So unprofessional.
290
00:18:16,132 --> 00:18:18,506
You know, Rudolph
will never do this crap.
291
00:18:31,752 --> 00:18:33,389
Hmm.
292
00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:39,494
Mmm.
293
00:18:46,338 --> 00:18:48,371
Mmm, mmm.
294
00:18:49,605 --> 00:18:51,737
Homemade.
295
00:18:51,772 --> 00:18:53,244
Mmm.
296
00:18:57,074 --> 00:18:59,041
Ugh.
297
00:18:59,076 --> 00:19:00,548
Skim.
298
00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:12,560
Oh, yeah.
299
00:19:12,595 --> 00:19:14,529
That's the stuff.
300
00:19:19,063 --> 00:19:20,931
Mmm.
301
00:19:21,934 --> 00:19:23,868
DuBoi...
302
00:19:23,903 --> 00:19:26,871
-On some prewar shit
right there. -
303
00:19:26,906 --> 00:19:29,137
-Good shit.
304
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,425
Mmm.
305
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:44,020
That pairs well.
306
00:19:44,055 --> 00:19:46,660
What do we have here?
307
00:20:02,942 --> 00:20:04,777
Oh, yeah.
308
00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:06,680
That's the stuff.
309
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:18,890
-You know, uh...
310
00:20:18,925 --> 00:20:21,893
Christmas is all right,
311
00:20:21,928 --> 00:20:25,303
but you Americans don't
celebrate my favorite holiday.
312
00:20:26,295 --> 00:20:28,097
Oh, yeah? What?
313
00:20:28,132 --> 00:20:29,637
Boxing Day.
314
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,771
Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here,
315
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,476
live streaming the dream,
you know.
316
00:21:06,511 --> 00:21:08,973
They say the richest man...
317
00:21:10,174 --> 00:21:11,877
Say goodbye.
318
00:21:11,912 --> 00:21:13,648
And if you...
319
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,817
Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick.
320
00:21:17,852 --> 00:21:19,654
Damn it!
321
00:21:19,689 --> 00:21:22,118
When he was small,
I begged you to beat him.
322
00:21:39,742 --> 00:21:41,709
Hey. Merry Christmas.
323
00:21:41,744 --> 00:21:43,546
Or should I say
"happy holidays" now?
324
00:21:43,581 --> 00:21:45,581
Right? I mean, it's like,
people, make up your minds.
325
00:21:45,616 --> 00:21:47,682
-You know what I'm saying?
-Can I help you?
326
00:21:47,717 --> 00:21:49,651
Oh, yeah. I sure hope so.
See, uh,
327
00:21:49,686 --> 00:21:51,422
my car broke down
a little ways...
328
00:21:51,457 --> 00:21:53,182
Out here?
This is a private road.
329
00:21:53,217 --> 00:21:55,184
You're telling me.
330
00:21:55,219 --> 00:21:57,318
It's the first place
I've seen for miles.
331
00:21:57,353 --> 00:21:58,693
I think I got frostbite.
332
00:21:58,728 --> 00:22:00,090
Where the hell am I, anyway?
333
00:22:00,125 --> 00:22:01,762
G.T. Lightstone family compound.
334
00:22:01,797 --> 00:22:03,368
I'll call you a tow.
335
00:22:12,709 --> 00:22:14,676
All right, revelers.
336
00:22:14,711 --> 00:22:16,414
:
Time to steal Christmas.
337
00:22:16,449 --> 00:22:17,712
Sound off.
338
00:22:17,747 --> 00:22:19,208
Jingle. Check.
339
00:22:19,243 --> 00:22:20,913
Peppermint. Check.
340
00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:22,376
Sugarplum. Check.
341
00:22:22,411 --> 00:22:25,346
Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up.
342
00:22:25,381 --> 00:22:27,348
Candy Cane. Check.
343
00:22:27,383 --> 00:22:29,889
-Go for Frosty.
-Go for Tinsel.
344
00:22:29,924 --> 00:22:31,759
Go for Gingerbread.
345
00:22:31,794 --> 00:22:34,465
Are we gonna use these stupid
code names all night?
346
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:36,093
:
'Tis the season.
347
00:22:36,128 --> 00:22:39,800
Welcome to your worst
Christmas ever.
348
00:22:39,835 --> 00:22:43,100
Trudy loves seeing Santa
at the mall.
349
00:22:44,136 --> 00:22:45,872
She loves going with her father.
350
00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:47,445
And you should've
taken her yesterday,
351
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:48,908
like you do every Christmas,
352
00:22:48,943 --> 00:22:50,547
but we didn't even
hear from you.
353
00:22:50,582 --> 00:22:51,944
Mom put me on a special project.
354
00:22:51,979 --> 00:22:53,484
-It's complicated.
-But it's not,
355
00:22:53,519 --> 00:22:55,585
because it keeps happening
over and over.
356
00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:57,851
-Your mother forcing herself
between us. -You're right.
357
00:23:02,825 --> 00:23:04,990
What if we could give Trudy
her Christmas wish?
358
00:23:05,025 --> 00:23:07,124
You're trying to win me back
359
00:23:07,159 --> 00:23:09,731
with a romantic weekend
at your mother's?
360
00:23:09,766 --> 00:23:12,932
What if things
really changed this time?
361
00:23:14,837 --> 00:23:17,134
We got out from under
my mother's thumb.
362
00:23:17,169 --> 00:23:19,136
We'll walk away.
363
00:23:19,171 --> 00:23:21,545
From the company, the family.
364
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,978
Tonight.
365
00:23:26,981 --> 00:23:28,343
What are you up to?
366
00:24:13,764 --> 00:24:15,060
Let's go.
367
00:24:15,095 --> 00:24:17,458
We need to get you out of here.
368
00:24:17,493 --> 00:24:19,394
Mommy, where are you going?
369
00:24:19,429 --> 00:24:21,132
-She's going for the panic room!
-What?
370
00:24:21,167 --> 00:24:22,573
-Yes. Go, Bertrude.
-Without us?
371
00:24:28,504 --> 00:24:30,372
Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.
372
00:24:52,198 --> 00:24:54,099
GERTRUDE:
There isn't room for all of us.
373
00:24:54,134 --> 00:24:55,837
She can fit at least two of us.
Mom, take me.
374
00:24:55,872 --> 00:24:57,773
-Mom!
-Oh. Yeah.
375
00:24:57,808 --> 00:24:59,533
M-Mom, can Bert come, too?
376
00:25:02,142 --> 00:25:03,438
Okay. Move it or lose it, son.
377
00:25:03,473 --> 00:25:05,077
-Move it!
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.
378
00:25:05,112 --> 00:25:07,244
You're supposed to protect us.
379
00:25:07,279 --> 00:25:08,619
We protect the primary asset.
380
00:25:12,790 --> 00:25:14,053
Who the hell are you?
381
00:25:14,088 --> 00:25:16,759
You can call me Mr. Scrooge.
382
00:25:17,729 --> 00:25:18,959
Hilarious.
383
00:25:18,994 --> 00:25:20,389
Get him.
384
00:25:29,103 --> 00:25:31,334
Bah humbug, motherfucker.
385
00:25:40,851 --> 00:25:42,917
SCROOGE:
Hey. Step aside.
386
00:25:44,448 --> 00:25:46,822
Tinsel, Peppermint,
sweep upstairs.
387
00:25:46,857 --> 00:25:48,857
I want all the Lightstones
together.
388
00:25:49,827 --> 00:25:51,486
Kill anybody else you find.
389
00:26:01,707 --> 00:26:04,466
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.
390
00:26:05,469 --> 00:26:07,678
LINDA:
Trudy, honey, we got to go.
391
00:26:08,846 --> 00:26:10,505
JASON:
Wake up, honey. Wake up.
392
00:26:10,540 --> 00:26:13,013
Maybe we can get out the back
by the servants' stairs.
393
00:26:20,121 --> 00:26:22,451
Oh, come on. Not now. Not now.
394
00:26:23,619 --> 00:26:25,586
Fuck! Fuck!
395
00:26:25,621 --> 00:26:27,258
Mistletoe, gingerbread.
396
00:26:51,317 --> 00:26:52,349
Hey!
397
00:26:55,189 --> 00:26:56,485
Oh. Oh.
398
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,025
:
Hi.
399
00:26:58,060 --> 00:27:00,621
You got me.
400
00:27:00,656 --> 00:27:03,063
I don't want any trouble, okay?
401
00:27:03,098 --> 00:27:04,900
Downstairs. Now.
402
00:27:04,935 --> 00:27:08,563
Look, mister,
I don't want to get involved.
403
00:27:08,598 --> 00:27:10,840
I just...
I just have a job to do.
404
00:27:10,875 --> 00:27:12,336
Okay? That's it.
405
00:27:12,371 --> 00:27:14,910
I'm just gonna take my bag,
406
00:27:14,945 --> 00:27:17,473
and I'm just gonna
scooch up that chimney.
407
00:27:19,114 --> 00:27:20,751
Enough talk. Let's go.
408
00:27:21,754 --> 00:27:23,380
You don't want to do this.
409
00:27:23,415 --> 00:27:24,645
What? This?
410
00:27:26,352 --> 00:27:27,725
Now, move!
411
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,683
-Are you deaf?
412
00:27:29,718 --> 00:27:31,729
Fucking move!
413
00:27:42,467 --> 00:27:44,335
No, no, no.
414
00:27:44,370 --> 00:27:47,503
No! Wait!
415
00:27:47,538 --> 00:27:48,944
Wait.
416
00:27:48,979 --> 00:27:50,506
Wait! Don't go!
417
00:27:50,541 --> 00:27:52,409
Come back!
418
00:29:07,486 --> 00:29:09,156
Oh, fuck!
419
00:29:33,314 --> 00:29:34,885
Oh, shit.
420
00:29:56,271 --> 00:29:59,877
Damn chickenshit reindeer
leave me here to die.
421
00:30:08,613 --> 00:30:11,680
:
422
00:30:22,066 --> 00:30:23,494
GERTRUDE:
Cute.
423
00:30:23,529 --> 00:30:26,431
Do you have any idea
who you're fucking with?
424
00:30:30,107 --> 00:30:32,943
I know exactly
who I'm fucking with.
425
00:30:32,978 --> 00:30:34,835
Oh, wait, wait.
Did you actually think
426
00:30:34,870 --> 00:30:36,507
that I spent months
427
00:30:36,542 --> 00:30:39,114
planning a complex break-in
to the most secure
428
00:30:39,149 --> 00:30:40,874
private residence in the country
429
00:30:40,909 --> 00:30:42,579
and I didn't know
who lived here?
430
00:30:42,614 --> 00:30:44,053
Well, you're wrong.
431
00:30:44,088 --> 00:30:47,023
'Cause your staff are dead.
432
00:30:47,058 --> 00:30:49,190
-Your security are dead.
433
00:30:49,225 --> 00:30:52,325
Now, sit down
and shut the fuck up!
434
00:31:20,454 --> 00:31:22,487
Oh, fuck.
435
00:31:25,591 --> 00:31:26,997
We planned it. It's all right.
436
00:31:27,032 --> 00:31:28,493
It'll be solved
in a couple minutes.
437
00:31:28,528 --> 00:31:30,165
Better be solved.
438
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,431
So much like a scene
from my movie Dark Ransom.
439
00:31:32,466 --> 00:31:33,795
Oh, my God.
440
00:31:35,007 --> 00:31:36,600
If they didn't have guns,
441
00:31:36,635 --> 00:31:38,635
I could take out three,
maybe four of them.
442
00:31:38,670 --> 00:31:40,571
ALVA:
Try all of them.
443
00:31:40,606 --> 00:31:43,310
Ew, Mom. Yuck.
444
00:31:43,345 --> 00:31:45,312
If you'd really done
your research, you'd know
445
00:31:45,347 --> 00:31:47,842
that my brother Rory
was kidnapped in the '70s.
446
00:31:48,944 --> 00:31:51,450
But my father
never called the police.
447
00:31:51,485 --> 00:31:54,090
Dad sent in our own
private extraction team,
448
00:31:54,125 --> 00:31:57,522
and Rory was home
safe and sound a week later.
449
00:31:57,557 --> 00:32:01,130
And the kidnappers
were never found.
450
00:32:01,165 --> 00:32:03,033
If you get me.
451
00:32:04,696 --> 00:32:06,300
I know.
452
00:32:06,335 --> 00:32:09,171
I know all about
your extraction team
453
00:32:09,206 --> 00:32:11,041
that you affectionately call
"the Kill Squad"
454
00:32:11,076 --> 00:32:13,043
behind closed doors.
455
00:32:13,078 --> 00:32:14,935
I also know
that they're on their way
456
00:32:14,970 --> 00:32:16,937
and how long it's gonna
take 'em to get here.
457
00:32:16,972 --> 00:32:19,610
I even know their credit ratings
and their dick sizes.
458
00:32:19,645 --> 00:32:21,447
If you get me.
459
00:32:21,482 --> 00:32:23,614
Then you should also know
you're already dead.
460
00:32:23,649 --> 00:32:25,385
We don't do ransoms.
461
00:32:25,420 --> 00:32:27,948
Again, I know. I know.
462
00:32:27,983 --> 00:32:29,950
See, I know a lot, Gertrude.
463
00:32:29,985 --> 00:32:31,886
I really do.
464
00:32:31,921 --> 00:32:34,988
Like the fact that you have
300 million in U.S. dollars
465
00:32:35,023 --> 00:32:37,166
sitting in your personal vault
downstairs.
466
00:32:37,201 --> 00:32:39,234
-The fuck?
-That's right.
467
00:32:39,269 --> 00:32:42,171
300 million that
the U.S. government
468
00:32:42,206 --> 00:32:45,504
gave Lightstone to quietly
distribute in the Middle East
469
00:32:45,539 --> 00:32:47,341
to all the worst people,
470
00:32:47,376 --> 00:32:51,543
to grease the wheels
and keep that sweet oil flowing.
471
00:32:51,578 --> 00:32:56,009
300 million that-- oops--
disappeared in the fog of war.
472
00:32:56,044 --> 00:32:59,012
Except it didn't really
disappear, did it, Gerty?
473
00:32:59,047 --> 00:33:00,420
'Cause you stole it.
474
00:33:00,455 --> 00:33:01,916
Did you know about this?
475
00:33:01,951 --> 00:33:03,522
SCROOGE:
Man, this family.
476
00:33:03,557 --> 00:33:06,723
This moneygrubbing family.
477
00:33:06,758 --> 00:33:08,560
Clinging desperately
to your wealth,
478
00:33:08,595 --> 00:33:10,859
when your poor employees
don't even have enough coal
479
00:33:10,894 --> 00:33:12,927
to keep Tiny Tim warm.
480
00:33:12,962 --> 00:33:15,897
What is it with you
and all this Christmas shit?
481
00:33:15,932 --> 00:33:17,899
Talk all you want.
482
00:33:17,934 --> 00:33:19,703
You'll never get in the vault.
483
00:33:19,738 --> 00:33:23,036
Oh, oh, oh, because when
you-you hit the panic button,
484
00:33:23,071 --> 00:33:24,873
it reset the combination?
485
00:33:24,908 --> 00:33:28,283
I keep telling you, I know.
486
00:33:33,488 --> 00:33:36,291
This is what breaking
into a vault has turned into?
487
00:33:36,326 --> 00:33:40,922
Remember when you just had to
drill holes and blow shit up?
488
00:33:40,957 --> 00:33:42,462
I don't know,
maybe I'm getting old,
489
00:33:42,497 --> 00:33:44,101
but there was something
romantic about that.
490
00:33:44,136 --> 00:33:46,202
CANDY CANE :
Boss, you copy?
491
00:33:46,237 --> 00:33:48,138
I'm kind of busy here.
492
00:33:48,173 --> 00:33:50,503
You're gonna want to see this.
493
00:33:59,910 --> 00:34:01,712
Maybe he fell.
494
00:34:01,747 --> 00:34:03,252
You rappel down buildings
with him.
495
00:34:03,287 --> 00:34:05,287
You gonna tell me
he just fell out a window?
496
00:34:06,356 --> 00:34:08,323
All right, look lively, gang.
497
00:34:08,358 --> 00:34:10,017
We got a gopher.
498
00:34:25,606 --> 00:34:27,177
LINDA:
You know what?
499
00:34:27,212 --> 00:34:31,148
Um, I think Mr. Bunny
wants to go to sleep.
500
00:34:31,183 --> 00:34:33,106
So, let's tuck him in.
501
00:34:33,141 --> 00:34:34,679
Okay?
502
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:37,550
It's gonna be okay.
503
00:34:51,665 --> 00:34:54,028
Hello? Santa?
504
00:34:54,063 --> 00:34:56,030
Are you there?
505
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,510
Shit.
506
00:35:07,912 --> 00:35:10,451
This is
Candy Cane at checkpoint three.
507
00:35:10,486 --> 00:35:12,046
Oh, shit.
508
00:35:12,081 --> 00:35:13,817
Shit. Shit. Shit.
509
00:35:17,053 --> 00:35:18,921
Video game.
510
00:35:20,155 --> 00:35:21,528
Video game.
511
00:35:21,563 --> 00:35:23,827
Didn't anybody ask
for a bat or a sword
512
00:35:23,862 --> 00:35:26,731
-or Molotov cocktails?
513
00:35:35,379 --> 00:35:37,038
:
Wait.
514
00:35:51,956 --> 00:35:53,758
CHILD'S VOICE :
Mommy, I love you.
515
00:35:54,959 --> 00:35:57,025
Poetry book.
516
00:35:57,060 --> 00:35:59,368
Die Hard on Blu-ray. Fuck!
517
00:36:13,582 --> 00:36:15,516
Safety's on, dipshit.
518
00:36:26,298 --> 00:36:28,188
Wait. Hang on. Hang on.
519
00:36:29,730 --> 00:36:32,126
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Look.
520
00:36:32,161 --> 00:36:33,633
I don't want to kill you.
521
00:36:37,639 --> 00:36:41,377
Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard.
522
00:36:41,412 --> 00:36:43,280
Eh?
523
00:36:43,942 --> 00:36:46,206
Santa...
524
00:36:46,241 --> 00:36:47,977
I'm gonna rip
your fucking balls off.
525
00:37:01,630 --> 00:37:03,465
Oh, shit.
526
00:38:48,264 --> 00:38:50,671
Ah, God.
527
00:38:50,706 --> 00:38:52,299
Whew.
528
00:38:53,368 --> 00:38:56,545
Whew. Whew.
529
00:38:56,580 --> 00:38:58,371
:
This is Candy Cane checking in.
530
00:38:58,406 --> 00:39:00,274
Compound is clear and secured.
531
00:39:02,487 --> 00:39:04,278
Copy. What's the
status on the Kill Squad?
532
00:39:06,150 --> 00:39:08,051
Kill Squad
won't be here for two hours.
533
00:39:08,086 --> 00:39:10,691
So we're doing good. The outer
seal's already been breached.
534
00:39:10,726 --> 00:39:13,221
Is there a 911 thing on here?
535
00:39:13,256 --> 00:39:15,795
My...
536
00:39:15,830 --> 00:39:17,764
Am I doing that correct?
537
00:39:17,799 --> 00:39:19,194
Hello?
538
00:39:19,229 --> 00:39:21,130
Hello, can anybody hear me?
539
00:39:21,165 --> 00:39:23,605
TRUDY:
Can you hear me, Santa?
540
00:39:25,433 --> 00:39:26,740
Hello?
541
00:39:26,775 --> 00:39:28,236
Santa?
542
00:39:31,439 --> 00:39:33,142
Yeah, this is Santa.
543
00:39:36,114 --> 00:39:38,455
I hope I'm not bothering you.
544
00:39:40,151 --> 00:39:42,756
Daddy said you were
very busy tonight.
545
00:39:44,694 --> 00:39:46,562
I'm...
546
00:39:46,597 --> 00:39:48,795
I'm on a break.
547
00:39:48,830 --> 00:39:50,863
Who-who am I speaking to?
548
00:39:53,362 --> 00:39:55,428
My name is Trudy Lightstone,
549
00:39:55,463 --> 00:39:58,772
and I've been very good
this year.
550
00:39:58,807 --> 00:40:00,675
Trudy...
551
00:40:02,976 --> 00:40:04,844
Trudy Lightstone.
552
00:40:13,888 --> 00:40:16,152
Yeah, Trudy.
553
00:40:16,187 --> 00:40:18,627
You're on my nice list.
554
00:40:18,662 --> 00:40:20,827
You've been a very good girl
this year.
555
00:40:22,490 --> 00:40:24,534
Where are you now, Trudy?
556
00:40:26,065 --> 00:40:28,835
I'm in a big room
with all my relatives.
557
00:40:28,870 --> 00:40:32,069
There's two bad men with guns
watching us.
558
00:40:34,843 --> 00:40:36,678
SANTA:
Oh, no. Six left.
559
00:40:36,713 --> 00:40:38,647
TRUDY:
Are you gonna help us, Santa?
560
00:40:40,046 --> 00:40:42,013
Yeah. Of course
I'm gonna help you.
561
00:40:42,048 --> 00:40:44,884
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna get you out of there.
562
00:40:44,919 --> 00:40:48,184
Take all these bad guys
on my naughty list...
563
00:40:49,253 --> 00:40:51,858
I'm gonna take a lump of coal,
564
00:40:51,893 --> 00:40:55,565
each and every one of them,
and shove it straight up...
565
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:56,698
The ass.
566
00:40:59,736 --> 00:41:01,395
Well, I mean, come on, sweetie.
567
00:41:01,430 --> 00:41:04,101
We want to keep you
on the nice list, you know.
568
00:41:05,709 --> 00:41:08,039
Sorry.
Can I say "butthole," then?
569
00:41:09,042 --> 00:41:10,371
I mean, it's borderline.
570
00:41:10,406 --> 00:41:12,142
How about "anus"?
571
00:41:12,177 --> 00:41:16,553
Technically, yes,
uh, "anus" is the tech...
572
00:41:16,588 --> 00:41:18,346
Okay, look, uh, Tru...
uh, Trudy.
573
00:41:18,381 --> 00:41:21,052
I got to call for help,
and the phone lines are down.
574
00:41:21,087 --> 00:41:23,659
You probably know this house
better than anybody.
575
00:41:23,694 --> 00:41:25,518
You got any suggestions?
576
00:41:25,553 --> 00:41:27,091
I have an idea.
577
00:41:29,700 --> 00:41:32,096
All right, you're telling me
there's a goddamn Santa Claus
578
00:41:32,131 --> 00:41:33,801
running around here?
579
00:41:37,268 --> 00:41:39,268
Okay, well,
he looks jolly as fuck,
580
00:41:39,303 --> 00:41:40,940
but who the hell is he?
581
00:41:40,975 --> 00:41:42,942
There's no Santa listed
on the employee manifest.
582
00:41:42,977 --> 00:41:44,405
Yeah, there's more.
583
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:46,044
Frosty hasn't checked in.
I can't reach him.
584
00:41:46,079 --> 00:41:47,947
All right, keep trying.
585
00:41:50,622 --> 00:41:52,248
All right, it's official.
586
00:41:52,283 --> 00:41:54,118
We got a gopher on the loose,
and he's dangerous.
587
00:41:54,153 --> 00:41:55,416
Watch your backs.
588
00:42:00,423 --> 00:42:03,094
Al? Al?
589
00:42:09,333 --> 00:42:11,168
Oh, shit.
590
00:42:19,013 --> 00:42:20,815
Oh, shit!
591
00:42:20,850 --> 00:42:23,818
SCROOGE :
Frosty, what's your status?
592
00:42:27,351 --> 00:42:29,417
Frosty, sound off.
593
00:42:30,420 --> 00:42:33,289
Uh, Frosty?
594
00:42:34,622 --> 00:42:36,160
Is-is that, uh...
595
00:42:36,195 --> 00:42:38,096
is that the naughty guy
I met in the basement?
596
00:42:38,131 --> 00:42:39,966
Your-your friend is dead.
597
00:42:40,001 --> 00:42:43,068
Uh, he got a star in his face,
then his head caught on fire.
598
00:42:43,103 --> 00:42:44,938
It's a long story.
599
00:42:44,973 --> 00:42:47,743
Oh.
600
00:42:47,778 --> 00:42:49,943
Is this... is this our Santy?
601
00:42:49,978 --> 00:42:52,847
Is this our... our Santy Claus?
602
00:42:52,882 --> 00:42:54,343
Yeah, it is.
603
00:42:55,346 --> 00:42:57,181
To whom am I speaking?
604
00:42:57,216 --> 00:42:59,183
Well, for tonight,
I'm Mr. Scrooge.
605
00:42:59,218 --> 00:43:03,121
Now, what is it
that you want exactly, Santa?
606
00:43:03,156 --> 00:43:05,695
I want you to put down
your weapons,
607
00:43:05,730 --> 00:43:08,665
I want you to let
this family go,
608
00:43:08,700 --> 00:43:10,524
and then I want to find
my reindeer,
609
00:43:10,559 --> 00:43:12,702
and I want to continue
delivering my presents.
610
00:43:15,630 --> 00:43:17,267
Are you fucking with me?
611
00:43:17,302 --> 00:43:19,632
All right, who the hell
are you really, huh?
612
00:43:19,667 --> 00:43:22,173
Some security guard who's
watched too many action flicks?
613
00:43:22,208 --> 00:43:24,780
Some loser ex-cop
stuck in a mall
614
00:43:24,815 --> 00:43:26,815
playing dress-up with fat kids
pissing on your lap?
615
00:43:26,850 --> 00:43:28,344
Stop me when I get it right.
616
00:43:28,379 --> 00:43:30,445
It's a little more complicated
than that.
617
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,216
Not to me, it's not.
618
00:43:32,251 --> 00:43:34,218
'Cause I want to make it
my personal mission,
619
00:43:34,253 --> 00:43:38,651
my holiday to-do list,
to find you and to end you
620
00:43:38,686 --> 00:43:42,226
and to wipe my ass with you
and this whole fucking holiday.
621
00:43:42,261 --> 00:43:44,899
That's what I want
for Christmas, Santa.
622
00:43:44,934 --> 00:43:49,068
That is a terrible thing
to want for Christmas.
623
00:43:49,103 --> 00:43:52,566
But maybe you and I should
discuss that in person.
624
00:43:53,943 --> 00:43:56,504
Santa Claus is coming to town.
625
00:44:08,023 --> 00:44:09,352
Shit.
626
00:44:19,397 --> 00:44:20,770
All right, who did you hire
627
00:44:20,805 --> 00:44:23,333
to play Santa at
your Christmas party, huh?
628
00:44:23,368 --> 00:44:25,401
-I said, who's playing Santa
629
00:44:25,436 --> 00:44:26,941
at your fucked-up
Christmas party?
630
00:44:26,976 --> 00:44:29,878
:
I didn't hire a Santa.
631
00:44:29,913 --> 00:44:32,573
I never have a Santa.
It's tacky.
632
00:44:32,608 --> 00:44:34,047
SCROOGE:
So, who is he?
633
00:44:36,887 --> 00:44:39,679
Huh? Who is he?
634
00:44:39,714 --> 00:44:41,384
Somebody better start talking,
635
00:44:41,419 --> 00:44:44,453
or I'm gonna bash
her brains in with this...
636
00:44:44,488 --> 00:44:48,732
Damn, Gertrude. You really got
a thing for nutcrackers, huh?
637
00:44:50,230 --> 00:44:54,265
So, I'm gonna torture
everyone in your family
638
00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:57,103
until you tell me who's
running around your mansion
639
00:44:57,138 --> 00:44:59,809
playing Santa
and fucking with my shit.
640
00:44:59,844 --> 00:45:01,811
And who should I pick first?
641
00:45:01,846 --> 00:45:03,307
Should I go by age?
642
00:45:03,342 --> 00:45:04,913
-Shh.
643
00:45:04,948 --> 00:45:06,739
Or should I go by IQ?
644
00:45:06,774 --> 00:45:10,083
Pick Jason.
He's my mom's favorite.
645
00:45:10,118 --> 00:45:12,118
-Yep. Him.
-The one in the sweater.
646
00:45:12,153 --> 00:45:14,582
All right.
Jason Lightstone it is.
647
00:45:14,617 --> 00:45:15,924
-The number one son.
-No.
648
00:45:15,959 --> 00:45:17,288
Wait, wait, wait.
No, we don't need...
649
00:45:17,323 --> 00:45:18,828
We don't need to do that.
No, it's okay.
650
00:45:18,863 --> 00:45:20,797
No. No, no, no.
We don't need to do this.
651
00:45:20,832 --> 00:45:22,062
No. No, no, no, no.
652
00:45:22,097 --> 00:45:23,657
Don't, don't, don't.
653
00:45:23,692 --> 00:45:26,066
-No, don't... Put it...
Don't... No. -
654
00:45:26,101 --> 00:45:28,068
-No, no, no, no. No, no.
-Give me this fucking...
655
00:45:37,112 --> 00:45:39,948
I'm telling you,
no one hired a Santa.
656
00:45:39,983 --> 00:45:41,477
All right, all right,
all right. You're right.
657
00:45:41,512 --> 00:45:42,511
You're right.
Let's stop it. Let's stop it.
658
00:45:42,546 --> 00:45:44,678
What are we doing here? Come on.
659
00:45:44,713 --> 00:45:47,780
What are we, amateurs?
We're half-assing this.
660
00:45:47,815 --> 00:45:50,717
Come on. It's not called
a finger cracker.
661
00:45:51,995 --> 00:45:53,929
Okay, Candy Cane.
662
00:45:53,964 --> 00:45:55,359
Stick one of his bozaks
in there.
663
00:45:55,394 --> 00:45:56,657
I'm not touching his balls.
664
00:45:56,692 --> 00:45:58,296
What, are you a princess
all of a sudden?
665
00:45:58,331 --> 00:46:00,100
I've seen you
scoop out brains before.
666
00:46:00,135 --> 00:46:01,365
You want me
to scoop his brains out,
667
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:02,795
I'll scoop his brains out
right now,
668
00:46:02,830 --> 00:46:04,038
but I'm not touching his junk.
669
00:46:04,073 --> 00:46:05,468
I don't care who does it.
670
00:46:05,503 --> 00:46:07,041
I better be looking
at flat balls,
671
00:46:07,076 --> 00:46:08,339
like, in three seconds.
672
00:46:08,374 --> 00:46:10,803
I'll do it.
673
00:46:10,838 --> 00:46:12,178
Krampus. Perfect.
674
00:46:12,213 --> 00:46:13,674
Oh, not that guy. Not that guy.
675
00:46:13,709 --> 00:46:15,049
That's what I love
about sociopaths.
676
00:46:15,084 --> 00:46:16,380
Always up for trying new things.
677
00:46:16,415 --> 00:46:17,810
You don't need to do this, okay?
678
00:46:17,845 --> 00:46:19,713
No, it's all right.
Um... Oh, no.
679
00:46:19,748 --> 00:46:22,155
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
680
00:46:22,190 --> 00:46:24,553
:
Oh, God. Oh, my God.
681
00:46:26,326 --> 00:46:27,787
KRAMPUS:
Put your nuts in.
682
00:46:27,822 --> 00:46:29,294
Yummy, yummy.
683
00:46:29,329 --> 00:46:31,967
Stop hurting my daddy...
684
00:46:32,002 --> 00:46:34,266
or Santa will get mad.
685
00:46:35,269 --> 00:46:37,533
Ah, what a cutie.
686
00:46:37,568 --> 00:46:39,634
So, what do we know
about Santa, little one?
687
00:46:39,669 --> 00:46:41,306
She doesn't know anything
about Santa.
688
00:46:42,408 --> 00:46:44,045
He wasn't asking you.
689
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,575
She's playing make-believe.
690
00:46:46,610 --> 00:46:48,918
She's pretending
to talk to Santa.
691
00:46:48,953 --> 00:46:50,920
It's not pretend.
Santa's my friend,
692
00:46:50,955 --> 00:46:52,548
and he said
he's going to save us.
693
00:46:52,583 --> 00:46:53,890
JASON:
No.
694
00:46:53,925 --> 00:46:56,222
-And beat you up.
-Oh, is he?
695
00:46:56,257 --> 00:46:58,653
I bet he'd come out of hiding
if you asked him to, huh?
696
00:46:58,688 --> 00:47:00,391
What do you say you come with me
697
00:47:00,426 --> 00:47:02,426
-and we play a little game
with him, huh? -No, no, no.
698
00:47:02,461 --> 00:47:03,933
Trudy, come on.
Tell him the truth now.
699
00:47:03,968 --> 00:47:05,660
-You aren't talking to Santa.
-Yes, I am.
700
00:47:05,695 --> 00:47:07,167
No, you're not. Come on, now.
701
00:47:07,202 --> 00:47:09,664
-Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy,
Santa isn't real!
702
00:47:17,982 --> 00:47:19,707
I'm sorry, honey.
703
00:47:20,908 --> 00:47:22,875
Santa's just a thing
adults tell kids
704
00:47:22,910 --> 00:47:24,954
to make them feel better, okay?
705
00:47:27,222 --> 00:47:29,288
Your mommy and I
give you the presents,
706
00:47:29,323 --> 00:47:31,290
and we say they're from Santa.
707
00:47:32,557 --> 00:47:34,029
He's not coming to save us.
708
00:47:34,064 --> 00:47:36,262
He doesn't exist.
709
00:47:36,297 --> 00:47:38,594
It's all made-up.
710
00:47:40,268 --> 00:47:42,235
-Really?
-Aw.
711
00:47:42,270 --> 00:47:45,040
What a way to find out
that there's no Santa.
712
00:47:45,075 --> 00:47:47,075
Hey, let's come back Easter
and ruin the Easter Bunny
713
00:47:47,110 --> 00:47:49,044
-for her, too, huh?
714
00:47:49,079 --> 00:47:50,573
-Trudy!
-Come back here!
715
00:47:50,608 --> 00:47:52,113
-Stop her!
-Trudy! -Hey!
716
00:47:52,148 --> 00:47:53,477
CANDY CANE:
You idiots, stay at your posts.
717
00:47:53,512 --> 00:47:54,808
LINDA:
Trudy!
718
00:47:54,843 --> 00:47:57,019
I'll find this little brat.
719
00:49:03,384 --> 00:49:04,680
Okay.
720
00:49:33,414 --> 00:49:36,382
TRUDY :
Santa. Santa.
721
00:49:36,417 --> 00:49:38,252
-Santa!
722
00:49:39,849 --> 00:49:41,684
This is Trudy.
723
00:49:42,687 --> 00:49:45,688
-Are you okay, Santa?
724
00:49:47,758 --> 00:49:49,230
Hi. Hey.
725
00:49:49,265 --> 00:49:51,023
Are you okay?
726
00:49:51,058 --> 00:49:53,102
I'm good. Uh...
727
00:49:53,137 --> 00:49:55,335
I was just wrapping
something up.
728
00:49:55,370 --> 00:49:57,568
I ran away and hid in the attic.
729
00:49:57,603 --> 00:50:00,901
Okay. If you're safe...
730
00:50:00,936 --> 00:50:03,904
uh, just stay there
and, uh, stay quiet, all right?
731
00:50:03,939 --> 00:50:08,711
Okay. I can set up booby traps,
like in Home Alone.
732
00:50:08,746 --> 00:50:10,251
Okay, I don't know
what that means,
733
00:50:10,286 --> 00:50:11,912
but, uh, yeah, do that.
734
00:50:11,947 --> 00:50:13,815
Just do it quietly.
735
00:50:15,291 --> 00:50:17,258
Are you really Santa?
736
00:50:21,088 --> 00:50:23,099
Of course I am, sweetheart.
737
00:50:24,234 --> 00:50:26,795
My daddy says
there isn't any Santa.
738
00:50:28,601 --> 00:50:31,569
He says parents just tell
their kids that Santa's real
739
00:50:31,604 --> 00:50:33,208
to make them feel better.
740
00:50:33,243 --> 00:50:36,035
He said they give us presents
741
00:50:36,070 --> 00:50:38,411
and say they're from Santa.
742
00:50:38,446 --> 00:50:40,578
Yeah.
743
00:50:40,613 --> 00:50:42,877
Yeah, a lot of parents say that.
744
00:50:42,912 --> 00:50:46,683
But I still bring presents
to kids that need me.
745
00:50:48,082 --> 00:50:50,192
Kids who really believe.
746
00:50:51,756 --> 00:50:54,625
How do you know
who really needs you?
747
00:50:54,660 --> 00:50:56,891
Christmas magic.
748
00:50:56,926 --> 00:50:58,992
I'm not really sure
how it works.
749
00:51:06,804 --> 00:51:09,145
But, uh...
750
00:51:11,380 --> 00:51:14,480
I remember, um...
751
00:51:14,515 --> 00:51:16,416
when Trudy Lightstone
wrote to me.
752
00:51:16,451 --> 00:51:18,913
She must have been
about six years old,
753
00:51:18,948 --> 00:51:22,686
and she said that
she felt lonely sometimes.
754
00:51:22,721 --> 00:51:24,985
She missed having a best friend.
755
00:51:25,020 --> 00:51:26,426
And so I brought her
756
00:51:26,461 --> 00:51:28,263
a beautiful little
stuffed rabbit.
757
00:51:28,298 --> 00:51:29,693
Mr. Bunny.
758
00:51:29,728 --> 00:51:31,662
And then I remember
the next year,
759
00:51:31,697 --> 00:51:33,829
and you said you had
this amazing dream
760
00:51:33,864 --> 00:51:37,635
and that, afterwards,
all you wanted to do was...
761
00:51:37,670 --> 00:51:39,175
To fly!
762
00:51:39,210 --> 00:51:41,243
:
To fly. To fly.
763
00:51:42,807 --> 00:51:47,106
I mean, Santa might have
some magic, but...
764
00:51:47,141 --> 00:51:50,747
making a little girl fly?
765
00:51:53,015 --> 00:51:57,325
But giving you a kite,
766
00:51:57,360 --> 00:52:00,658
floating just beneath
the clouds,
767
00:52:00,693 --> 00:52:03,463
well, it's about
as good as it gets.
768
00:52:03,498 --> 00:52:05,300
I knew it.
769
00:52:05,335 --> 00:52:07,533
I knew you were real, Santa.
770
00:52:10,439 --> 00:52:13,209
Don't be too hard
on your parents, all right?
771
00:52:15,378 --> 00:52:17,906
Grown-ups have a hard time
believing things.
772
00:52:18,942 --> 00:52:21,316
Can you use your Christmas magic
773
00:52:21,351 --> 00:52:23,483
to make them
love each other again?
774
00:52:23,518 --> 00:52:25,914
I wish I had that kind of power.
775
00:52:26,917 --> 00:52:30,556
Mrs. Claus and I have been
going on year, uh,
776
00:52:30,591 --> 00:52:32,723
1,100, and...
777
00:52:33,792 --> 00:52:36,364
Grown-up relationships
are complicated.
778
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,664
It takes work.
779
00:52:39,699 --> 00:52:41,567
A lot of work.
780
00:52:43,967 --> 00:52:46,198
Do you still love her?
781
00:52:46,233 --> 00:52:48,035
Yeah, I do.
782
00:52:49,236 --> 00:52:52,413
And sometimes, even if you want
to make somebody happy...
783
00:52:53,944 --> 00:52:56,076
...the magic just goes away.
784
00:52:58,113 --> 00:53:00,520
Hey.
785
00:53:00,555 --> 00:53:02,214
I've got an idea.
786
00:53:02,249 --> 00:53:03,787
This will be fun.
787
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:08,396
Why don't you guys
open your presents?
788
00:53:08,431 --> 00:53:12,763
I want to see what you
rich assholes get each other.
789
00:53:12,798 --> 00:53:18,472
And some of you might not
make it till tomorrow morning,
790
00:53:18,507 --> 00:53:21,277
so this could be
your only chance.
791
00:53:22,269 --> 00:53:23,807
Come on.
792
00:53:23,842 --> 00:53:26,315
Where's the Christmas spirit?
793
00:53:27,978 --> 00:53:30,110
Uh...
794
00:53:31,179 --> 00:53:35,423
Gertrude, uh, I got you
something pretty special.
795
00:53:35,458 --> 00:53:36,820
KRAMPUS:
Did you hear that, Gertrude?
796
00:53:36,855 --> 00:53:38,789
He got you something amazing.
797
00:53:38,824 --> 00:53:41,726
:
Oh, what could it be?
798
00:53:41,761 --> 00:53:43,959
Oh, my God, this is exciting.
799
00:53:43,994 --> 00:53:46,225
Mom.
800
00:53:46,260 --> 00:53:47,930
Can I call you Mom?
801
00:53:49,164 --> 00:53:50,669
Mrs. Lightstone.
802
00:53:52,706 --> 00:53:55,971
Okay, so in the business,
they call this...
803
00:53:56,974 --> 00:53:58,281
...a pitch deck.
804
00:53:59,449 --> 00:54:00,514
-Pitch deck.
-Yeah.
805
00:54:00,549 --> 00:54:02,241
It's called Explosive Force.
806
00:54:02,276 --> 00:54:03,946
Starring me.
807
00:54:03,981 --> 00:54:05,519
And if you look in the back,
808
00:54:05,554 --> 00:54:09,182
there are the financial numbers.
809
00:54:09,217 --> 00:54:12,394
I'm kind of a big deal in Asia.
810
00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:16,156
Parts of Asia, at least.
811
00:54:16,191 --> 00:54:18,257
We were in parts of Asia once,
and, like,
812
00:54:18,292 --> 00:54:19,929
we couldn't even go
to a restaurant.
813
00:54:19,964 --> 00:54:23,295
Ah, what is there
a better gift than...
814
00:54:23,330 --> 00:54:26,540
gift of a golden opportunity?
815
00:54:28,203 --> 00:54:30,203
KRAMPUS :
Oh, no.
816
00:54:31,547 --> 00:54:34,108
Granny doesn't like it.
817
00:54:34,143 --> 00:54:36,418
Mother, I got you something
really special.
818
00:54:42,987 --> 00:54:45,526
It's a sentimental photo
of the day I was born.
819
00:54:45,561 --> 00:54:47,627
I remember.
820
00:54:47,662 --> 00:54:49,057
I was there.
821
00:54:49,092 --> 00:54:51,125
KRAMPUS:
She doesn't give a shit.
822
00:54:53,734 --> 00:54:55,327
-Swing and miss again!
823
00:54:55,362 --> 00:54:56,702
This is so fun.
824
00:54:56,737 --> 00:54:58,000
ALVA:
Mommy, how about another one?
825
00:54:58,035 --> 00:54:59,639
I got you a lot of good things.
826
00:54:59,674 --> 00:55:01,674
-I'll grab one.
-Alva, Alva, sit down.
827
00:55:01,709 --> 00:55:03,379
You've already given me one.
It's...
828
00:55:03,414 --> 00:55:04,677
It's Jason's turn.
829
00:55:04,712 --> 00:55:06,140
JASON:
Uh...
830
00:55:06,175 --> 00:55:09,748
I th... I-I think
I left it in the car.
831
00:55:09,783 --> 00:55:11,849
No, I-I saw you put one
under the tree earlier.
832
00:55:11,884 --> 00:55:14,313
-No. It's in the...
-Yeah, I did.
833
00:55:14,348 --> 00:55:17,426
I could've sworn.
You know what, it's, uh...
834
00:55:17,461 --> 00:55:19,527
Y-You don't... you don't...
you don't... you...
835
00:55:19,562 --> 00:55:21,826
It's this one, right?
Yeah, I got you, bro.
836
00:55:21,861 --> 00:55:23,355
Come on.
837
00:55:25,095 --> 00:55:27,128
Thank you.
838
00:55:28,197 --> 00:55:30,439
It's my favorite whiskey.
839
00:55:30,474 --> 00:55:33,068
You can skip the note.
840
00:55:56,500 --> 00:55:58,159
Thank you, Jason.
841
00:56:03,672 --> 00:56:05,969
What's the card say?
842
00:56:06,004 --> 00:56:08,939
I think I'll just keep that
between Jason and I.
843
00:56:08,974 --> 00:56:12,910
No one really needs to know.
Right, Jason?
844
00:56:15,486 --> 00:56:17,112
Right.
845
00:56:18,313 --> 00:56:20,489
TRUDY: Did you ever have
a mommy and daddy?
846
00:56:22,526 --> 00:56:24,559
Yeah, of course
I had a mommy and daddy.
847
00:56:24,594 --> 00:56:27,925
I wasn't...
I wasn't always Santa Claus.
848
00:56:28,961 --> 00:56:31,027
I had a life before this.
849
00:56:32,195 --> 00:56:34,668
A long, long, long time ago.
850
00:56:39,103 --> 00:56:41,972
They used to call me, uh...
851
00:56:42,007 --> 00:56:44,139
Nicomund.
852
00:56:47,848 --> 00:56:49,342
SANTA:
Nicomund the Red.
853
00:56:51,148 --> 00:56:53,786
TRUDY:
You had a different job then?
854
00:56:53,821 --> 00:56:56,492
SANTA:
Yeah, you could say that.
855
00:56:56,527 --> 00:56:58,318
I was a warrior.
856
00:56:58,353 --> 00:57:00,661
A raider. A thief.
857
00:57:00,696 --> 00:57:04,423
-And if somebody got in my way,
858
00:57:04,458 --> 00:57:05,996
me and Skullcrusher would...
859
00:57:06,031 --> 00:57:07,503
TRUDY:
Who's Skullcrusher?
860
00:57:08,495 --> 00:57:11,639
Skullcrusher's my, uh...
861
00:57:11,674 --> 00:57:14,301
my hammer.
862
00:57:14,336 --> 00:57:16,611
My favorite hammer.
863
00:57:16,646 --> 00:57:19,042
I was a surgeon with that thing.
864
00:57:19,077 --> 00:57:21,374
Used to be able to take
three heads, line 'em up...
865
00:57:22,916 --> 00:57:25,620
But why?
866
00:57:25,655 --> 00:57:27,182
What?
867
00:57:27,217 --> 00:57:29,525
Why'd you do those things?
868
00:57:31,694 --> 00:57:33,562
Because I was mean.
869
00:57:35,027 --> 00:57:36,928
And I was greedy.
870
00:57:38,932 --> 00:57:41,900
And I wanted gold, jewels.
871
00:57:41,935 --> 00:57:44,331
Yeah, I mean, if there was
a naughty list back then,
872
00:57:44,366 --> 00:57:46,366
I'd be top dog.
873
00:57:48,073 --> 00:57:50,007
Well, maybe...
874
00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:52,405
What?
875
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:54,407
Maybe all those bad things
you used to do...
876
00:57:55,751 --> 00:57:58,620
...maybe you can use them
to do good things instead.
877
00:57:59,623 --> 00:58:01,986
To help.
878
00:58:02,021 --> 00:58:03,856
What do you mean?
879
00:58:03,891 --> 00:58:08,322
Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy.
880
00:58:08,357 --> 00:58:11,600
That night, you gave me
what I wished for.
881
00:58:11,635 --> 00:58:13,459
A best friend.
882
00:58:14,528 --> 00:58:17,265
'Cause you're good and kind.
883
00:58:17,300 --> 00:58:20,741
And you mean more than just
the presents you bring.
884
00:58:20,776 --> 00:58:23,370
That's why I believe in you,
Santa.
885
00:58:23,405 --> 00:58:25,647
That's why I believe.
886
00:58:31,380 --> 00:58:32,984
Thank you.
887
00:58:34,988 --> 00:58:38,924
You stay hidden, Trudy,
till I come get you.
888
00:58:38,959 --> 00:58:40,893
Stay safe.
889
00:58:42,094 --> 00:58:44,699
All right,
we got satellite confirmation.
890
00:58:44,734 --> 00:58:46,866
Extraction team's on the go.
891
00:58:46,901 --> 00:58:49,198
ETA: 30 minutes.
892
00:58:49,233 --> 00:58:50,771
We're on schedule.
893
00:58:50,806 --> 00:58:52,300
Everything's good.
894
00:58:52,335 --> 00:58:53,807
-All right, fellas.
895
00:58:53,842 --> 00:58:55,303
Look alive, look alive.
896
00:58:55,338 --> 00:58:57,239
You all know the plan,
897
00:58:57,274 --> 00:59:00,715
and I like my operations
like I like to fuck:
898
00:59:00,750 --> 00:59:03,410
hard and fast
with minimal cleanup.
899
00:59:03,445 --> 00:59:07,887
Now, some idiot gets
in your way, what do you do?
900
00:59:07,922 --> 00:59:09,955
ALL:
Fuck their shit up right!
901
00:59:09,990 --> 00:59:11,594
Damn right.
902
00:59:12,586 --> 00:59:14,960
-Time to lube up.
903
00:59:16,359 --> 00:59:18,766
Let's go, motherfuckers!
Let's go!
904
00:59:24,939 --> 00:59:26,972
:
This fucking family.
905
00:59:46,554 --> 00:59:48,587
MALE VOICE :
Ho, ho, ho, ho.
906
00:59:48,622 --> 00:59:50,325
-Merry Christmas.
907
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:51,667
Happy holidays.
908
00:59:51,702 --> 00:59:52,800
Traitor.
909
00:59:54,397 --> 00:59:56,364
I got him in the east wing.
910
00:59:56,399 --> 00:59:58,707
All right,
we're on our way. Hold him.
911
01:00:12,085 --> 01:00:13,887
Step aside.
912
01:00:27,771 --> 01:00:30,464
SCROOGE :
Now, how did this tired, old,
913
01:00:30,499 --> 01:00:33,038
fat piece of shit
get the drop on us?
914
01:00:33,073 --> 01:00:34,633
GINGERBREAD:
I don't know.
915
01:00:34,668 --> 01:00:36,635
CANDY CANE:
He's not even armed.
916
01:00:36,670 --> 01:00:38,912
This bag is the only thing
he had on him.
917
01:00:38,947 --> 01:00:40,210
SCROOGE:
What's in there?
918
01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:42,949
Can't see anything.
919
01:00:47,285 --> 01:00:48,614
SCROOGE:
Here, give it to me.
920
01:00:59,770 --> 01:01:02,364
What kind of moron...
921
01:01:02,399 --> 01:01:04,432
carries a chess set with him?
922
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:09,877
What the fuck?
923
01:01:09,912 --> 01:01:12,275
Doesn't make any sense.
Look at all this shit.
924
01:01:19,581 --> 01:01:22,351
So, you're gonna tell us what's
the gimmick with the bag?
925
01:01:22,386 --> 01:01:24,122
It's magic.
926
01:01:24,157 --> 01:01:26,828
You put your hand in,
out comes a present.
927
01:01:28,799 --> 01:01:31,261
I don't really understand
how it works, either.
928
01:01:32,726 --> 01:01:35,771
So, you're Mr. Scrooge.
929
01:01:35,806 --> 01:01:37,729
That's right.
930
01:01:37,764 --> 01:01:39,467
But who are you?
931
01:01:39,502 --> 01:01:41,568
Weihnachtsmann.
932
01:01:43,077 --> 01:01:44,747
Julenissen.
933
01:01:45,849 --> 01:01:47,750
Shèngdàn Laorén.
934
01:01:48,775 --> 01:01:51,787
Babbo Natale, Père Noel,
Kris Kringle.
935
01:01:51,822 --> 01:01:54,416
Jolly old Saint Nick.
936
01:01:54,451 --> 01:01:57,254
People call me a lot of things.
937
01:01:58,290 --> 01:02:00,796
SCROOGE:
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.
938
01:02:00,831 --> 01:02:03,260
Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"?
939
01:02:03,295 --> 01:02:06,725
If you're Santa,
where's your reindeer?
940
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:08,760
They were on the roof
941
01:02:08,795 --> 01:02:11,301
until that guy I turned
into an ice kebab just...
942
01:02:13,877 --> 01:02:15,338
You don't believe me?
943
01:02:15,373 --> 01:02:16,768
Go check.
944
01:02:16,803 --> 01:02:19,474
Prancer left
a tasty log up there.
945
01:02:19,509 --> 01:02:21,278
SCROOGE:
This fucking guy.
946
01:02:21,313 --> 01:02:23,148
You don't think...
947
01:02:23,183 --> 01:02:26,118
Now, I know you're an idiot,
but don't be an idiot out loud.
948
01:02:26,153 --> 01:02:28,186
Come on,
he's just in Santy Claus
949
01:02:28,221 --> 01:02:30,188
with a fucking trick bag.
950
01:02:30,223 --> 01:02:32,256
SANTA:
Oh, no!
951
01:02:32,291 --> 01:02:33,994
That bag was full
of kids' dreams!
952
01:02:34,029 --> 01:02:35,996
SCROOGE:
Oh, come on.
953
01:02:36,031 --> 01:02:38,163
Everybody knows that
Christmas dreams are bullshit.
954
01:02:39,166 --> 01:02:41,364
My father used to make
a big deal out of it
955
01:02:41,399 --> 01:02:43,366
every Christmas.
956
01:02:43,401 --> 01:02:45,599
Every freaking Christmas
with the presents
957
01:02:45,634 --> 01:02:47,876
and the candy
and the decorations
958
01:02:47,911 --> 01:02:51,374
and the Christmas caroling
and all that bullshit.
959
01:02:52,883 --> 01:02:55,180
And then when I was...
960
01:02:55,215 --> 01:02:58,711
I don't know, ten, 11,
961
01:02:58,746 --> 01:03:00,647
he got laid off,
and that Christmas,
962
01:03:00,682 --> 01:03:02,022
couldn't even afford a tree.
963
01:03:02,057 --> 01:03:03,716
No Christmas dinner, no gifts.
964
01:03:03,751 --> 01:03:06,026
Nothing, nada, culo, dick.
965
01:03:07,029 --> 01:03:08,490
But our neighbors...
966
01:03:08,525 --> 01:03:10,327
our neighbors,
oh, they had it all.
967
01:03:10,362 --> 01:03:12,065
I could see
all that yuletide cheer
968
01:03:12,100 --> 01:03:14,727
through their window mocking me.
969
01:03:14,762 --> 01:03:18,632
So Christmas Eve
rolls around, and...
970
01:03:18,667 --> 01:03:21,701
I waited for everybody
to go to bed.
971
01:03:21,736 --> 01:03:24,913
And then I snuck in there
to take it all.
972
01:03:26,180 --> 01:03:28,543
Only problem was that
the gramps got up to take a piss
973
01:03:28,578 --> 01:03:30,809
and the two of us scared
the shit out of each other.
974
01:03:30,844 --> 01:03:34,153
And, um, he fell down the stairs
975
01:03:34,188 --> 01:03:38,553
and-and broke his neck,
and he died in the hospital.
976
01:03:38,588 --> 01:03:40,093
Everybody thought that I did it,
977
01:03:40,128 --> 01:03:41,721
and every time
I tried to tell them,
978
01:03:41,756 --> 01:03:43,866
I tried to tell them that...
979
01:03:45,694 --> 01:03:47,903
Anyway, maybe I did do it.
980
01:03:47,938 --> 01:03:49,938
Maybe I did push him.
981
01:03:49,973 --> 01:03:51,940
Poor old fucker.
982
01:03:51,975 --> 01:03:55,273
So, you see,
Christmas ruined my life.
983
01:03:55,308 --> 01:03:56,868
Okay? But you know what?
984
01:03:56,903 --> 01:03:58,342
It set me on the path
985
01:03:58,377 --> 01:04:00,377
and made me the great man
that I am today.
986
01:04:00,412 --> 01:04:02,214
I'm sorry, Jimmy.
987
01:04:03,217 --> 01:04:04,612
I really am.
988
01:04:05,648 --> 01:04:07,681
But I do gifts.
I do Christmas cheer.
989
01:04:07,716 --> 01:04:09,925
I don't get involved
in people's lives.
990
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:13,588
Oh, yeah? Yeah, well,
maybe you fucking should!
991
01:04:18,232 --> 01:04:21,398
Um, how did he know your name?
992
01:04:21,433 --> 01:04:23,037
Oh, Bjorn.
993
01:04:23,072 --> 01:04:25,204
What's your excuse?
994
01:04:25,239 --> 01:04:26,898
Huh?
995
01:04:26,933 --> 01:04:30,077
Didn't I get you that Huffy bike
you wanted back in '82?
996
01:04:30,112 --> 01:04:33,377
One you wrote me 50 times about!
997
01:04:33,412 --> 01:04:34,983
What about you, Kira?
998
01:04:35,018 --> 01:04:37,953
Well, you made your brother
eat worms.
999
01:04:37,988 --> 01:04:39,581
That's naughty!
1000
01:04:39,616 --> 01:04:41,451
Okay, how does he know
about my bike?
1001
01:04:41,486 --> 01:04:44,993
It's a lucky guess, like:
"Hey, do you like big tits?"
1002
01:04:45,028 --> 01:04:47,259
Come on, every kid wants
a fucking bike.
1003
01:04:47,294 --> 01:04:50,394
-You're gonna tell me who you
work for... -Oh, Christ. No.
1004
01:04:50,429 --> 01:04:53,496
...then you've got five seconds
to tell me who you really are.
1005
01:04:53,531 --> 01:04:56,301
Five, four, three, two...
1006
01:04:56,336 --> 01:04:57,973
I'm Santa Claus!
1007
01:04:58,008 --> 01:05:00,107
Well, not anymore.
1008
01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:27,200
GINGERBREAD:
Is it snowing?
1009
01:05:27,235 --> 01:05:30,302
Is he doing this
with Santa magic?
1010
01:05:36,904 --> 01:05:39,146
Let it snow!
1011
01:05:51,017 --> 01:05:52,984
It's not snow.
1012
01:05:53,019 --> 01:05:54,392
It's Styrofoam.
1013
01:05:54,427 --> 01:05:56,493
I told you this guy's
a big phony.
1014
01:06:11,037 --> 01:06:13,147
Where'd he go?
1015
01:06:13,182 --> 01:06:14,643
GINGERBREAD:
He went up the chimney.
1016
01:06:14,678 --> 01:06:16,249
-I saw it.
-I don't know,
1017
01:06:16,284 --> 01:06:18,251
he had a rig
or some pulley system
1018
01:06:18,286 --> 01:06:20,319
-that just yanked him up.
-You can't fit up there.
1019
01:06:20,354 --> 01:06:21,914
-It's impossible.
-Oh, you see one weird thing,
1020
01:06:21,949 --> 01:06:24,092
and then you think
you're in a fairy tale?
1021
01:06:24,127 --> 01:06:25,423
KRAMPUS :
Incoming.
1022
01:06:25,458 --> 01:06:26,325
We've got sleigh bells
approaching.
1023
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:28,063
Oh, my God.
1024
01:06:28,098 --> 01:06:29,922
It's his reindeer.
1025
01:06:31,728 --> 01:06:33,695
-It's the extraction team.
1026
01:06:33,730 --> 01:06:35,697
Pull yourselves together!
1027
01:06:50,879 --> 01:06:54,947
And that is the sound
of my Kill Squad.
1028
01:06:56,588 --> 01:06:58,621
Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now.
1029
01:06:58,656 --> 01:07:00,689
Huh? What are you gonna do?
You little elf bitch.
1030
01:07:00,724 --> 01:07:02,229
Fu...
1031
01:07:02,264 --> 01:07:03,428
Bertie.
1032
01:07:03,463 --> 01:07:04,858
Hashtag "blessed."
1033
01:07:07,962 --> 01:07:10,468
Yeah!
1034
01:07:10,503 --> 01:07:11,700
Parkour.
1035
01:07:11,735 --> 01:07:12,899
Kill him, babe!
1036
01:07:12,934 --> 01:07:15,275
-Oh!
1037
01:07:16,410 --> 01:07:17,937
Morgan's gonna save us.
1038
01:07:19,842 --> 01:07:23,316
Jean-Claude Van Dipshit
just ditched us, sweetie.
1039
01:07:30,589 --> 01:07:32,490
Hold your fire.
1040
01:07:32,525 --> 01:07:34,052
Barrel roll!
1041
01:07:35,759 --> 01:07:37,055
Easy, easy.
1042
01:07:37,090 --> 01:07:38,958
-Yeah!
-Easy.
1043
01:07:38,993 --> 01:07:40,300
Identify yourself.
1044
01:07:40,335 --> 01:07:42,797
I'm one of the hostages.
1045
01:07:42,832 --> 01:07:45,965
Morgan Steel, the actor.
1046
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,935
Played a lot of soldiers
in my career.
1047
01:07:48,970 --> 01:07:52,213
Can I just say, thank you
for your service. Semper fi.
1048
01:07:53,282 --> 01:07:55,150
What's the situation inside?
1049
01:07:55,185 --> 01:07:57,647
Bunch of ex-military guys,
1050
01:07:57,682 --> 01:07:59,649
but I got to warn you,
they know you're coming.
1051
01:07:59,684 --> 01:08:01,255
I think they're ready for you.
1052
01:08:01,290 --> 01:08:03,015
They better be.
1053
01:08:03,050 --> 01:08:05,116
We're on a tight schedule.
1054
01:08:05,151 --> 01:08:06,986
Shit.
1055
01:08:10,398 --> 01:08:12,497
Oh, f...
1056
01:08:12,532 --> 01:08:15,665
-All right, let's move out.
-Let's move out.
1057
01:08:19,869 --> 01:08:21,638
Come on.
1058
01:08:21,673 --> 01:08:23,871
You got to be kidding me.
1059
01:08:23,906 --> 01:08:25,510
Hey, Thorp,
you're ten minutes late.
1060
01:08:25,545 --> 01:08:27,006
What kept you?
1061
01:08:27,041 --> 01:08:29,382
Looks to me like your net's
got a hole in it.
1062
01:08:29,417 --> 01:08:31,714
Or are you just letting your
hostages out for some exercise?
1063
01:08:31,749 --> 01:08:34,046
No, no, no. We got
a wild gopher running around
1064
01:08:34,081 --> 01:08:36,521
complicating shit
and causing problems.
1065
01:08:36,556 --> 01:08:38,292
Who? Lightstone security?
1066
01:08:38,327 --> 01:08:39,722
Nah, I don't think so.
Some intruder dressed as Santa.
1067
01:08:39,757 --> 01:08:41,295
But I'm telling you,
I'm telling you,
1068
01:08:41,330 --> 01:08:43,297
there's something weird
about him.
1069
01:08:43,332 --> 01:08:45,057
Might be the real Santa.
1070
01:08:45,092 --> 01:08:47,367
-The fuck did she just say?
-Nothing, nothing.
1071
01:08:47,402 --> 01:08:48,500
She's joking.
1072
01:08:48,535 --> 01:08:50,898
My squad will take care of it.
1073
01:08:53,375 --> 01:08:55,969
Beta Team, go find this asshole.
1074
01:08:56,004 --> 01:08:58,246
Go.
1075
01:08:58,281 --> 01:09:02,382
Now, let's unwrap our present,
shall we?
1076
01:09:02,417 --> 01:09:04,714
All right, you heard the man.
1077
01:09:04,749 --> 01:09:07,255
Time to kill Santa.
1078
01:09:07,290 --> 01:09:09,818
I've got him. He's on the roof.
1079
01:09:09,853 --> 01:09:11,952
Roger that. I got eyes on him.
1080
01:09:29,477 --> 01:09:31,444
Right, Sugarplum.
Hit that button.
1081
01:09:38,420 --> 01:09:40,255
Here we go.
1082
01:09:40,290 --> 01:09:41,718
Our skeleton key.
1083
01:09:41,753 --> 01:09:43,555
The "open" magic stick.
1084
01:09:43,590 --> 01:09:45,425
This better fucking work.
1085
01:09:45,460 --> 01:09:48,021
I'm flushing my career for this,
my reputation.
1086
01:09:48,056 --> 01:09:50,562
Yeah, well, then you can
buy yourself a new rep.
1087
01:09:59,672 --> 01:10:01,309
THORP:
As a kid, I loved
1088
01:10:01,344 --> 01:10:03,377
unwrapping Christmas presents
so much
1089
01:10:03,412 --> 01:10:06,072
that my mom would wrap
empty boxes for me.
1090
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:09,284
I didn't care
that nothing was inside.
1091
01:10:21,463 --> 01:10:23,925
Is this a fucking joke?
1092
01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:25,190
No.
1093
01:10:26,666 --> 01:10:28,567
You said it would
fucking be here!
1094
01:10:28,602 --> 01:10:32,065
I'm telling you,
my intel was rock solid.
1095
01:10:32,100 --> 01:10:34,474
I had guys on the inside.
1096
01:10:35,774 --> 01:10:39,138
300 million in cash
was delivered here yesterday
1097
01:10:39,173 --> 01:10:41,283
to this fucking mansion.
1098
01:10:46,521 --> 01:10:49,148
Somebody must've intercepted it.
1099
01:10:53,154 --> 01:10:55,187
Son of a bitch.
1100
01:11:17,684 --> 01:11:19,046
Oh, shit.
1101
01:11:19,081 --> 01:11:21,719
Santa, you okay?
1102
01:11:21,754 --> 01:11:23,490
:
Santa.
1103
01:11:23,525 --> 01:11:25,624
A bunch of new bad guys
showed up.
1104
01:11:25,659 --> 01:11:27,626
They're on the naughty list.
1105
01:11:27,661 --> 01:11:30,398
They got their gadgets
and their gizmos on them.
1106
01:11:31,401 --> 01:11:33,863
I'm sorry.
I think this is it, kid.
1107
01:11:33,898 --> 01:11:35,634
No, no, don't say that.
1108
01:11:35,669 --> 01:11:37,636
The naughty list...
1109
01:11:37,671 --> 01:11:39,902
just grows and grows.
1110
01:11:48,847 --> 01:11:52,585
He's in that structure.
Body cams on.
1111
01:11:52,620 --> 01:11:54,686
TRUDY:
Don't give up.
1112
01:11:54,721 --> 01:11:57,150
You make a wish this time,
Santa.
1113
01:11:57,185 --> 01:11:58,921
Just this once.
1114
01:11:58,956 --> 01:12:01,858
If you could have anything
in this world,
1115
01:12:01,893 --> 01:12:03,926
what would it be?
1116
01:12:09,868 --> 01:12:12,869
I wish I could see
Mrs. Claus again,
1117
01:12:12,904 --> 01:12:16,037
tell her how much I love her.
1118
01:12:16,072 --> 01:12:18,842
Then you make
that wish come true.
1119
01:12:18,877 --> 01:12:21,009
-Oh, shit.
1120
01:12:21,044 --> 01:12:23,209
No, no, no, no. No, no.
1121
01:12:24,916 --> 01:12:26,377
Oh, God.
1122
01:12:26,412 --> 01:12:29,248
No.
1123
01:12:41,735 --> 01:12:44,703
You said these guys,
they're naughty.
1124
01:12:44,738 --> 01:12:47,607
And what do you do
to the naughty ones?
1125
01:12:47,642 --> 01:12:49,477
I give them a lump of coal.
1126
01:12:49,512 --> 01:12:51,578
Yeah. Give them their lumps.
1127
01:12:53,109 --> 01:12:55,142
Take that coal and shove it
straight up their...
1128
01:12:55,177 --> 01:12:57,485
-Anuses.
-Yeah!
1129
01:13:03,493 --> 01:13:04,987
They're right outside.
1130
01:13:19,542 --> 01:13:21,905
Santa's gonna eat
through these guys
1131
01:13:21,940 --> 01:13:23,808
like a plate full of cookies.
1132
01:13:28,474 --> 01:13:29,715
Move, move.
1133
01:13:33,556 --> 01:13:35,314
Hey, lock it up.
1134
01:13:37,186 --> 01:13:38,988
Lights down.
1135
01:13:40,189 --> 01:13:42,288
Stay at my back.
1136
01:13:42,323 --> 01:13:44,191
All right, we got this, boys.
1137
01:14:03,311 --> 01:14:05,520
All right, where the fuck
is my money?!
1138
01:14:05,555 --> 01:14:07,753
Where's the money?!
1139
01:14:18,832 --> 01:14:21,393
All right, I've been
a sweetheart up to now.
1140
01:14:21,428 --> 01:14:22,999
But that's all over.
1141
01:14:23,034 --> 01:14:24,704
No more fucking games!
1142
01:14:24,739 --> 01:14:26,365
Where's the money?
1143
01:14:26,400 --> 01:14:29,203
Or I will shoot every last
one of you and enjoy it.
1144
01:14:33,616 --> 01:14:36,243
-It's in the vault.
-I just looked in the vault.
1145
01:14:36,278 --> 01:14:37,750
Had the money been in there,
1146
01:14:37,785 --> 01:14:39,345
I'd have a different
expression on my face.
1147
01:14:39,380 --> 01:14:40,819
Impossible.
1148
01:14:40,854 --> 01:14:42,887
Takes days to get
into that thing.
1149
01:14:42,922 --> 01:14:46,286
Not if we have the key,
Mrs. Lightstone.
1150
01:14:47,795 --> 01:14:49,828
GERTRUDE:
Thorp.
1151
01:14:51,293 --> 01:14:53,733
You can't trust anyone
these days.
1152
01:14:53,768 --> 01:14:55,933
SCROOGE:
I'm not sure how, but you
1153
01:14:55,968 --> 01:14:58,837
or one of your shithead kids
moved the money.
1154
01:14:58,872 --> 01:15:00,674
And this upsets me.
1155
01:15:00,709 --> 01:15:02,709
It upsets me
1156
01:15:02,744 --> 01:15:06,471
in a way that makes me want to
just randomly shoot at people.
1157
01:15:07,474 --> 01:15:09,716
Hold on. Just... Sorry.
1158
01:15:09,751 --> 01:15:11,245
-Um...
-What? What?
1159
01:15:11,280 --> 01:15:12,719
Uh, what if you randomly shoot
1160
01:15:12,754 --> 01:15:14,985
the only person
who knows where it is?
1161
01:15:16,219 --> 01:15:18,351
Oh, fuck you people!
1162
01:15:53,190 --> 01:15:54,662
SANTA:
Suck on this.
1163
01:16:19,689 --> 01:16:21,249
I need some feedback, guys.
1164
01:16:22,791 --> 01:16:24,725
Guys, what the hell is going on?
1165
01:17:09,695 --> 01:17:11,200
-What's that?
-Huh?
1166
01:17:50,241 --> 01:17:52,109
Jesus Christ.
1167
01:17:53,079 --> 01:17:55,541
Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick.
1168
01:18:08,061 --> 01:18:10,688
-Oh, God!
-There you go.
1169
01:18:10,723 --> 01:18:12,327
A little stocking stuffer.
1170
01:18:13,330 --> 01:18:16,804
Where is it?
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
1171
01:18:16,839 --> 01:18:19,400
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
1172
01:18:19,435 --> 01:18:21,809
-I got to watch.
-Fuck!
1173
01:18:23,241 --> 01:18:25,439
Ho-Ho-Holy shit.
1174
01:18:27,850 --> 01:18:30,444
Gertrude would never
trust anybody
1175
01:18:30,479 --> 01:18:32,743
who wasn't blood
with this kind of info.
1176
01:18:32,778 --> 01:18:34,646
So...
1177
01:18:34,681 --> 01:18:38,221
the in-laws wouldn't know shit,
1178
01:18:38,256 --> 01:18:40,619
which means
that I can shoot her...
1179
01:18:42,326 --> 01:18:44,293
...unless you tell me
where the fucking money is.
1180
01:18:44,328 --> 01:18:46,328
Please don't, okay?
It's Christmas.
1181
01:18:46,363 --> 01:18:48,165
Shut up!
1182
01:18:49,300 --> 01:18:50,761
I swear,
I'll blow her brains out
1183
01:18:50,796 --> 01:18:52,070
unless you tell me
where the money went.
1184
01:18:52,105 --> 01:18:54,303
I did it!
1185
01:18:54,338 --> 01:18:56,811
-What?
-Okay. Yeah, I did it.
1186
01:18:56,846 --> 01:18:58,736
-I moved the money.
-No, d-don't-don't be an idiot.
1187
01:18:58,771 --> 01:19:00,408
-What?
-The money's our only leverage.
1188
01:19:00,443 --> 01:19:02,146
Well, my wife has a fucking
gun to her head, so...
1189
01:19:02,181 --> 01:19:04,016
Yeah, how did you find out
that we were coming, huh?
1190
01:19:04,051 --> 01:19:05,611
I didn't. I was stealing it.
1191
01:19:07,054 --> 01:19:08,350
-Yeah, coincidence.
-Oh, my God.
1192
01:19:08,385 --> 01:19:09,857
I was planning to take the money
1193
01:19:09,892 --> 01:19:12,827
and leave with my wife
and daughter tonight
1194
01:19:12,862 --> 01:19:14,785
and never come back here.
1195
01:19:14,820 --> 01:19:18,294
Oh, and then my mom would, uh,
1196
01:19:18,329 --> 01:19:20,296
read the note with her whiskey
in the morning
1197
01:19:20,331 --> 01:19:22,001
and know what I had done.
1198
01:19:22,036 --> 01:19:24,366
For years,
I have been telling you
1199
01:19:24,401 --> 01:19:26,874
to stop caring about
your mother's fucking money!
1200
01:19:26,909 --> 01:19:29,976
And you think the solution
was to steal a bunch of it.
1201
01:19:30,979 --> 01:19:32,946
Well, it...
yeah, it does sound stupid
1202
01:19:32,981 --> 01:19:34,541
when you say it like that.
1203
01:19:34,576 --> 01:19:36,543
ALVA:
How can you do this right now?
1204
01:19:36,578 --> 01:19:38,677
It's disgusting. After all
that Mother has given us?
1205
01:19:38,712 --> 01:19:40,679
Come on, Alva.
Everything she ever gave you,
1206
01:19:40,714 --> 01:19:42,021
she made damn sure we knew
1207
01:19:42,056 --> 01:19:43,352
she had the power
to take right back.
1208
01:19:43,387 --> 01:19:47,191
I have spent years
groveling to you.
1209
01:19:47,226 --> 01:19:49,963
In the meanwhile,
I was destroying
1210
01:19:49,998 --> 01:19:51,998
the only good thing in my life.
1211
01:19:52,033 --> 01:19:53,494
KRAMPUS:
What are we doing here, huh?
1212
01:19:53,529 --> 01:19:56,233
Family therapy or doing a heist?
1213
01:19:56,268 --> 01:19:59,335
-Yeah, enough of this sharing
bullshit. -
1214
01:19:59,370 --> 01:20:01,040
All right. Where'd you put it?
1215
01:20:07,510 --> 01:20:09,884
Look at this little idiot.
1216
01:20:13,747 --> 01:20:15,186
Oh, no.
1217
01:20:15,221 --> 01:20:16,990
What?
1218
01:20:17,025 --> 01:20:18,893
-The bad guys found me.
-Okay.
1219
01:20:18,928 --> 01:20:20,719
I'm coming.
1220
01:20:27,431 --> 01:20:31,103
You know, booby traps don't work
unless you hide them.
1221
01:20:33,943 --> 01:20:35,272
You little moron.
1222
01:20:38,607 --> 01:20:40,772
-Jesus! Shit!
1223
01:20:44,877 --> 01:20:46,778
GINGERBREAD:
Help me! Help me! Help!
1224
01:20:48,320 --> 01:20:50,452
You'll be f...
You'll be fine.
1225
01:20:50,487 --> 01:20:52,454
Sit tight.
I'll be back in a sec.
1226
01:20:55,591 --> 01:20:57,756
Right after I kill
this little piece of shit!
1227
01:21:00,662 --> 01:21:02,937
You little fucking brat.
1228
01:21:51,482 --> 01:21:53,185
You're dead!
1229
01:21:53,220 --> 01:21:55,550
You're so fucking dead!
1230
01:22:02,823 --> 01:22:05,131
Fucking piece of shit.
1231
01:22:10,468 --> 01:22:12,974
You little...
1232
01:22:30,554 --> 01:22:32,356
-Incoming!
1233
01:22:51,245 --> 01:22:53,047
Son of a fucking...
1234
01:23:03,125 --> 01:23:05,015
Fuck.
1235
01:23:05,050 --> 01:23:06,753
I got you now, kid.
1236
01:23:06,788 --> 01:23:08,392
Yeah? Heads up.
1237
01:23:10,792 --> 01:23:12,330
That's all you got?
You fucking...
1238
01:23:15,137 --> 01:23:17,566
Enough of this shit.
1239
01:23:43,264 --> 01:23:44,296
Santa!
1240
01:23:54,440 --> 01:23:56,737
Hi, Trudy. Hi.
1241
01:23:56,772 --> 01:23:59,542
I made booby traps like
in the movie. It was so funny.
1242
01:23:59,577 --> 01:24:02,039
:
Ho, ho, ho.
1243
01:24:08,080 --> 01:24:11,818
Trudy, I want you to, uh...
just do me a favor.
1244
01:24:12,854 --> 01:24:15,756
Just turn around
and close your eyes.
1245
01:24:15,791 --> 01:24:18,495
Maybe put your fingers
in your ears and, uh,
1246
01:24:18,530 --> 01:24:21,597
sing "Jingle Bells"
as loud as you can.
1247
01:24:28,309 --> 01:24:31,244
You were about to murder
an innocent child.
1248
01:24:32,445 --> 01:24:34,148
Innocent?
1249
01:24:34,183 --> 01:24:35,908
-It's naughty.
1250
01:24:35,943 --> 01:24:37,283
Naughty.
1251
01:24:38,220 --> 01:24:39,747
-Naughty!
1252
01:24:39,782 --> 01:24:41,419
It's part of
the Lightstone legacy.
1253
01:24:41,454 --> 01:24:43,190
We're horrible people.
1254
01:24:43,225 --> 01:24:45,016
So I get why you did
what you did.
1255
01:24:45,051 --> 01:24:47,117
When your grandfather told me
I'd never run the company
1256
01:24:47,152 --> 01:24:49,427
because a girl
doesn't have what it takes,
1257
01:24:49,462 --> 01:24:51,429
I had to snatch the reins
away from him.
1258
01:24:51,464 --> 01:24:52,958
But the point is,
1259
01:24:52,993 --> 01:24:54,663
a Lightstone takes
what's theirs.
1260
01:24:54,698 --> 01:24:56,269
I'm proud of you, son.
1261
01:24:56,304 --> 01:24:57,831
All right, where the hell is it?
1262
01:25:00,033 --> 01:25:01,901
The money's hidden inside.
1263
01:25:03,377 --> 01:25:06,279
And the Three Wise Men
presented him with gifts
1264
01:25:06,314 --> 01:25:09,073
of frankincense, myrrh...
1265
01:25:11,253 --> 01:25:14,320
...and cold hard cash.
1266
01:25:14,355 --> 01:25:15,882
Load it up, boys.
1267
01:25:15,917 --> 01:25:18,225
All right,
we're securing the money.
1268
01:25:18,260 --> 01:25:20,051
Kill the hostages
and meet us outside.
1269
01:25:20,086 --> 01:25:21,822
What?
1270
01:25:21,857 --> 01:25:23,824
No.
1271
01:25:25,828 --> 01:25:27,124
BERT:
Mom.
1272
01:25:27,159 --> 01:25:28,565
It's fine, Bert.
1273
01:25:28,600 --> 01:25:29,962
Everything's fine.
1274
01:25:29,997 --> 01:25:32,063
Okay.
1275
01:25:32,098 --> 01:25:34,208
Everybody, get up.
1276
01:25:34,243 --> 01:25:38,641
:
It's time for a murder.
1277
01:25:38,676 --> 01:25:41,072
Come on. Come on.
You don't want to kill us.
1278
01:25:41,107 --> 01:25:42,513
You really don't.
1279
01:25:42,548 --> 01:25:44,713
Oh, yes, I do.
1280
01:25:44,748 --> 01:25:47,848
I really, really, really do.
1281
01:25:47,883 --> 01:25:49,487
And I'm gonna start with you.
1282
01:25:49,522 --> 01:25:50,884
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1283
01:25:50,919 --> 01:25:52,050
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.
1284
01:25:53,922 --> 01:25:55,526
You got to kill
Aunt Linda first.
1285
01:25:55,561 --> 01:25:57,495
What the hell, Bert?
1286
01:25:57,530 --> 01:25:59,332
You want to squeeze in
being a little shit
1287
01:25:59,367 --> 01:26:00,993
before you die, Bertrude?
1288
01:26:01,028 --> 01:26:02,533
-I say shoot him first.
-What?
1289
01:26:02,568 --> 01:26:04,601
Wait. No, no, no.
Don't shoot him.
1290
01:26:04,636 --> 01:26:06,702
Don't shoot him first.
And don't you call him
1291
01:26:06,737 --> 01:26:08,341
a little shit,
you gold-digging bitch.
1292
01:26:08,376 --> 01:26:10,200
Okay. I changed my mind.
1293
01:26:10,235 --> 01:26:12,169
-Shoot the alcoholic bitch
first. -Don't call my mom
1294
01:26:12,204 --> 01:26:14,281
-an alcoholic bitch.
-Your mom's an alcoholic.
1295
01:26:14,316 --> 01:26:16,041
-I'm sorry.
-You're a gold-digging bitch.
1296
01:26:16,076 --> 01:26:18,285
Oh, I'm a gold-digger,
when I have a whole-ass career?
1297
01:26:18,320 --> 01:26:19,847
You're not even part
of the fucking family.
1298
01:26:19,882 --> 01:26:22,553
-She's an engineer.
-You know goddamn well...
1299
01:26:22,588 --> 01:26:23,785
Shut up!
1300
01:26:27,659 --> 01:26:31,562
Just like rats in a barrel.
1301
01:26:32,565 --> 01:26:34,730
Why don't you die
with some dignity?
1302
01:26:39,803 --> 01:26:41,704
Get off of me!
1303
01:26:41,739 --> 01:26:43,376
ALVA:
Okay, okay.
1304
01:26:43,411 --> 01:26:44,707
BERT:
Fuck you!
1305
01:26:44,742 --> 01:26:47,138
LINDA:
This is for yelling at my child!
1306
01:26:47,173 --> 01:26:48,645
ALVA:
Creep!
1307
01:26:48,680 --> 01:26:50,383
That's for slapping me,
motherfucker!
1308
01:26:50,418 --> 01:26:52,209
This is for
your dumb fucking hat!
1309
01:27:01,792 --> 01:27:03,594
Is he...
1310
01:27:03,629 --> 01:27:05,024
Is he dead?
1311
01:27:08,931 --> 01:27:10,766
Yeah.
1312
01:27:11,769 --> 01:27:13,472
Thanks, Linda.
1313
01:27:13,507 --> 01:27:16,475
Well, it's nice to do something
as a family for a change.
1314
01:27:17,775 --> 01:27:19,346
--Oh, shit!
1315
01:27:19,381 --> 01:27:21,172
KRAMPUS:
I'm gonna...
1316
01:27:25,354 --> 01:27:26,980
ALVA:
That was for Morgan.
1317
01:27:27,015 --> 01:27:31,787
He may have been stupid,
but he was very, very hot.
1318
01:27:33,219 --> 01:27:35,659
Oh. Trudy!
1319
01:27:35,694 --> 01:27:37,958
-Mommy!
1320
01:27:37,993 --> 01:27:39,762
Thank God, baby.
1321
01:27:39,797 --> 01:27:41,632
Are you okay?
1322
01:27:41,667 --> 01:27:43,337
I'm okay, Mommy.
1323
01:27:43,372 --> 01:27:44,536
Okay.
1324
01:27:44,571 --> 01:27:46,967
This is my friend, Santa.
1325
01:27:51,479 --> 01:27:53,512
What the fuck?
1326
01:27:53,547 --> 01:27:55,349
I can't thank you enough,
Mister...
1327
01:27:55,384 --> 01:27:57,714
Claus. But please call me Santa.
1328
01:27:57,749 --> 01:27:59,210
Mm-hmm.
1329
01:27:59,245 --> 01:28:01,113
SANTA:
You guys should get out of here.
1330
01:28:01,148 --> 01:28:02,686
It's dangerous.
1331
01:28:02,721 --> 01:28:04,886
They took my husband
and her grandmother.
1332
01:28:06,923 --> 01:28:08,461
Anybody know how to work
these gizmos?
1333
01:28:08,496 --> 01:28:09,858
I think so.
1334
01:28:09,893 --> 01:28:11,530
I used to hunt with my dad.
1335
01:28:11,565 --> 01:28:12,729
Ow.
1336
01:28:12,764 --> 01:28:14,566
Copy that. How's that looking?
1337
01:28:14,601 --> 01:28:17,129
-Yeah, I got it on lockdown.
-Heads on a swivel, boys.
1338
01:28:18,605 --> 01:28:20,066
-Incoming!
-Heads up!
1339
01:28:21,575 --> 01:28:23,003
-Oh, oh! Who's shooting?
1340
01:28:23,038 --> 01:28:24,840
-Who's...
1341
01:28:24,875 --> 01:28:27,579
-Cap, get down!
-Watch it! Watch it!
1342
01:28:32,916 --> 01:28:35,114
Gun 'em down. Mow them all down.
1343
01:28:51,198 --> 01:28:53,935
-All right, let's get the fuck
out of here. -Let's go.
1344
01:28:53,970 --> 01:28:56,377
-Go where?
-Come on, move, you old bat.
1345
01:28:57,303 --> 01:28:58,973
Get your fucking
hands off of me.
1346
01:29:09,150 --> 01:29:11,557
Oh! Oh, shit.
1347
01:29:11,592 --> 01:29:14,824
My balls! My fucking balls!
1348
01:29:31,843 --> 01:29:34,415
Ow, my balls! Why did you
shoot me in the ball...
1349
01:29:38,179 --> 01:29:40,619
Oh, Jesus.
1350
01:29:40,654 --> 01:29:42,214
Sorry.
1351
01:29:44,317 --> 01:29:46,823
Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus.
We got this.
1352
01:29:46,858 --> 01:29:49,155
JASON:
Who is that guy?
1353
01:29:49,190 --> 01:29:51,498
He said he was Mr. Claus.
1354
01:29:53,458 --> 01:29:55,502
-Fuck. Trudy.
-No, no.
1355
01:29:55,537 --> 01:29:56,998
She's in the house. She's okay.
1356
01:29:57,033 --> 01:29:58,505
She's safe.
1357
01:29:58,540 --> 01:30:00,672
-Oh, thank God.
-Yeah.
1358
01:30:21,354 --> 01:30:22,925
LINDA:
No, no.
1359
01:30:22,960 --> 01:30:25,499
-Oh... go, go, go, go, go.
-No, no, no. Wait, wait.
1360
01:31:11,272 --> 01:31:13,580
Oh, shit!
1361
01:31:16,112 --> 01:31:18,618
-Ho, ho!
1362
01:31:20,512 --> 01:31:21,555
Fuck!
1363
01:32:05,491 --> 01:32:07,832
-Fucking die.
1364
01:33:01,283 --> 01:33:03,118
SCROOGE:
Come on. Come on. Come on.
1365
01:33:03,153 --> 01:33:06,187
Yeah, over here. Over here.
1366
01:33:06,222 --> 01:33:07,551
Santa!
1367
01:33:08,521 --> 01:33:10,290
Come on!
1368
01:33:10,325 --> 01:33:11,863
Yeah.
1369
01:33:55,601 --> 01:33:56,677
Fuck.
1370
01:34:20,560 --> 01:34:22,593
You're real?
1371
01:34:24,069 --> 01:34:26,366
You're... him.
1372
01:34:29,371 --> 01:34:30,876
You're you.
1373
01:34:30,911 --> 01:34:33,505
That's what I've been trying
to tell you.
1374
01:34:33,540 --> 01:34:36,750
The real goddamn Santa Claus.
1375
01:34:36,785 --> 01:34:39,280
This is not your night, pal.
1376
01:34:39,315 --> 01:34:42,448
Oh, I don't know.
I think you're wrong.
1377
01:34:42,483 --> 01:34:45,759
I think my whole shitty life's
built up to this moment.
1378
01:34:45,794 --> 01:34:47,222
Because when I kill you,
1379
01:34:47,257 --> 01:34:50,390
this whole goddamn holiday
finally ends.
1380
01:34:52,295 --> 01:34:53,932
Whatever it takes...
1381
01:34:55,903 --> 01:34:57,936
...Christmas dies tonight.
1382
01:35:50,287 --> 01:35:51,781
Whoa!
1383
01:37:17,110 --> 01:37:19,605
The last Christmas.
1384
01:37:29,650 --> 01:37:31,958
Not if you still believe.
1385
01:37:33,918 --> 01:37:35,929
No!
1386
01:38:04,190 --> 01:38:07,521
I have no idea what the fuck
is going on here.
1387
01:38:10,031 --> 01:38:11,932
But this ends now.
1388
01:38:17,104 --> 01:38:18,829
Damn right it does.
1389
01:38:28,049 --> 01:38:30,016
LINDA:
Trudy, be careful.
1390
01:38:33,879 --> 01:38:35,780
TRUDY:
Santa!
1391
01:38:35,815 --> 01:38:38,156
Oh, no. Santa.
1392
01:38:39,720 --> 01:38:41,192
Oh, no.
1393
01:38:48,168 --> 01:38:50,135
You saved my daughter.
1394
01:38:51,138 --> 01:38:52,533
SANTA:
No.
1395
01:38:53,536 --> 01:38:55,008
She saved me.
1396
01:38:55,043 --> 01:38:57,934
Help him. Please help him.
1397
01:38:57,969 --> 01:39:00,310
Honey, I don't think
there's anything we can do.
1398
01:39:00,345 --> 01:39:01,641
SANTA:
It's okay. It's okay.
1399
01:39:01,676 --> 01:39:03,808
It's too late for that.
1400
01:39:03,843 --> 01:39:05,986
Too late.
1401
01:39:06,978 --> 01:39:09,781
I'm cold.
1402
01:39:09,816 --> 01:39:11,849
I haven't felt cold in years.
1403
01:39:11,884 --> 01:39:13,917
We need to keep him warm.
1404
01:39:14,986 --> 01:39:17,195
All of the fires are going out.
1405
01:39:17,230 --> 01:39:19,362
We need to find
something to burn.
1406
01:39:20,761 --> 01:39:22,200
I got an idea.
1407
01:39:25,370 --> 01:39:27,073
Whoa.
1408
01:39:28,736 --> 01:39:30,241
No.
1409
01:39:30,276 --> 01:39:32,474
No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no.
1410
01:39:32,509 --> 01:39:33,574
TRUDY:
Please, Santa.
1411
01:39:33,609 --> 01:39:36,379
I don't want you to die.
1412
01:39:39,747 --> 01:39:41,351
ALVA:
Jason, let's slow this down.
1413
01:39:41,386 --> 01:39:42,979
What are you doing?
1414
01:39:43,014 --> 01:39:46,356
I've lived longer
than any man should ever live.
1415
01:39:46,391 --> 01:39:48,985
He's pretty much dead.
What the hell is happening?
1416
01:39:49,020 --> 01:39:51,064
-You don't need to burn money.
-Okay. More. Yeah.
1417
01:39:51,099 --> 01:39:54,397
You can't die, Santa.
You have to get up.
1418
01:39:54,432 --> 01:39:56,894
I think I used up
all my Christmas magic.
1419
01:39:57,864 --> 01:39:59,402
Sorry.
1420
01:40:01,736 --> 01:40:05,375
I'm s... I'm sorry I can't
give you what you asked for.
1421
01:40:06,873 --> 01:40:09,214
Take that. Take that.
1422
01:40:09,249 --> 01:40:10,644
TRUDY:
But you did.
1423
01:40:13,616 --> 01:40:15,748
Santa, please don't die.
1424
01:40:15,783 --> 01:40:18,421
Wake up. Wake up.
1425
01:40:18,456 --> 01:40:21,017
We need to get him
close to the fire.
1426
01:40:21,052 --> 01:40:22,887
Jason.
1427
01:40:23,824 --> 01:40:25,560
:
Just wake up.
1428
01:40:26,596 --> 01:40:28,024
Please.
1429
01:40:28,059 --> 01:40:29,927
No.
1430
01:40:34,307 --> 01:40:37,407
Oh, I am so, so sorry.
1431
01:40:42,513 --> 01:40:45,184
-This man...
1432
01:40:46,253 --> 01:40:49,749
This brave, brave man,
whoever he was...
1433
01:40:49,784 --> 01:40:51,080
He's Santa.
1434
01:40:51,115 --> 01:40:53,423
The real Santa. He is.
1435
01:40:53,458 --> 01:40:56,327
And I still believe in him.
1436
01:40:57,330 --> 01:40:59,957
I'll always believe in you,
Santa.
1437
01:41:04,700 --> 01:41:06,436
I believe in him, too.
1438
01:41:09,672 --> 01:41:12,442
He saved Trudy.
1439
01:41:12,477 --> 01:41:14,543
He saved our family.
1440
01:41:16,712 --> 01:41:18,877
What's realer than that?
1441
01:41:22,850 --> 01:41:24,619
Then maybe...
1442
01:41:27,228 --> 01:41:29,162
I believe in him, too.
1443
01:41:30,154 --> 01:41:31,626
So do I.
1444
01:41:32,662 --> 01:41:36,026
Oh, shit.
1445
01:41:36,061 --> 01:41:38,204
I guess...
1446
01:41:38,239 --> 01:41:40,305
I guess I do, too.
1447
01:41:40,340 --> 01:41:42,098
ALVA:
Fuck me.
1448
01:41:42,133 --> 01:41:43,869
I believe, too.
1449
01:41:54,387 --> 01:41:55,815
Oh, my God.
1450
01:41:55,850 --> 01:41:57,047
Santa!
1451
01:42:02,054 --> 01:42:03,493
JASON:
You...
1452
01:42:05,431 --> 01:42:07,233
You were dead.
1453
01:42:08,236 --> 01:42:10,896
Christmas magic.
1454
01:42:10,931 --> 01:42:13,470
I still don't really
understand...
1455
01:42:13,505 --> 01:42:15,175
how it works.
1456
01:42:20,941 --> 01:42:23,073
Thank you.
1457
01:42:23,108 --> 01:42:25,141
I don't know
how we can ever repay you.
1458
01:42:25,176 --> 01:42:27,077
Well, you brought me back
from the dead,
1459
01:42:27,112 --> 01:42:28,584
so we'll call it even.
1460
01:42:29,851 --> 01:42:31,323
Even?
1461
01:42:31,358 --> 01:42:33,688
We just burned
half a million dollars.
1462
01:42:34,724 --> 01:42:36,185
-Look, Santa!
-Hmm?
1463
01:42:36,220 --> 01:42:37,692
Look who came.
1464
01:42:44,932 --> 01:42:48,340
Now you show up, huh?
1465
01:42:48,375 --> 01:42:49,902
You leave me here to die,
1466
01:42:49,937 --> 01:42:52,201
come back after
all the work's done, huh?
1467
01:42:52,236 --> 01:42:54,907
You know what? I should make
you guys into a stew
1468
01:42:54,942 --> 01:42:56,942
and feed you to the elves!
1469
01:42:59,210 --> 01:43:03,850
Yes, Blitzen!
Yes, I'm talking to you!
1470
01:43:03,885 --> 01:43:05,786
You, too, Prancer.
1471
01:43:11,255 --> 01:43:13,563
You got my sack.
1472
01:43:13,598 --> 01:43:17,435
My spare... You went home
and you got my spare sack?
1473
01:43:19,571 --> 01:43:22,198
Oh, God, I can't stay mad
at you guys.
1474
01:43:22,233 --> 01:43:23,936
I...
1475
01:43:23,971 --> 01:43:28,138
:
Aw. I can't. I can't.
1476
01:43:28,173 --> 01:43:30,910
Aw.
1477
01:43:31,946 --> 01:43:34,045
Aw.
1478
01:43:44,959 --> 01:43:46,596
Hello, beautiful.
1479
01:43:46,631 --> 01:43:48,301
Skullcrusher!
1480
01:44:01,514 --> 01:44:03,107
Guess this is goodbye.
1481
01:44:03,142 --> 01:44:04,449
I got to go.
1482
01:44:05,551 --> 01:44:07,452
Do you have to?
1483
01:44:11,051 --> 01:44:13,249
It's Christmas Eve,
and there's a lot of...
1484
01:44:13,284 --> 01:44:14,855
boys and girls on the nice list
1485
01:44:14,890 --> 01:44:17,187
that want their presents,
you know?
1486
01:44:19,367 --> 01:44:20,894
Thank you.
1487
01:44:21,897 --> 01:44:23,633
For what?
1488
01:44:23,668 --> 01:44:25,470
For believing in me.
1489
01:44:25,505 --> 01:44:28,407
For reminding me
that Christmas still matters.
1490
01:44:30,136 --> 01:44:32,675
And that I still...
1491
01:44:32,710 --> 01:44:34,875
matter.
1492
01:44:36,648 --> 01:44:38,582
You gave me
my "ho, ho, ho" back.
1493
01:44:48,693 --> 01:44:50,858
All right. Get out of here.
1494
01:44:54,732 --> 01:44:57,403
Merry Christmas!
1495
01:45:00,067 --> 01:45:01,330
Hyah!
1496
01:45:01,365 --> 01:45:04,839
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!
1497
01:45:04,874 --> 01:45:06,973
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
1498
01:45:07,008 --> 01:45:10,339
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
1499
01:45:10,374 --> 01:45:13,386
On, Donner and Blitzen!
1500
01:45:13,421 --> 01:45:17,082
Come on, you beautiful bastards!
1501
01:45:17,117 --> 01:45:20,316
We've got some work to do!
1502
01:45:20,351 --> 01:45:23,396
Hyah!
1503
01:45:23,431 --> 01:45:26,025
Ho, ho, ho!
1504
01:45:26,060 --> 01:45:29,259
Merry Christmas!
1505
01:46:57,657 --> 01:46:59,822
Hey, yo!
What's Gucci, squad fam?
1506
01:46:59,857 --> 01:47:02,957
It's the Bert Locker,
living the dream.
1507
01:47:02,992 --> 01:47:05,025
You know what? See this guy?
Dead as hell.
1508
01:47:05,060 --> 01:47:06,796
Santa's real, all right?
1509
01:47:06,831 --> 01:47:08,633
Don't end up
on the naughty list.
1510
01:47:08,668 --> 01:47:09,964
Do better.
1511
01:47:09,999 --> 01:47:12,098
Bert Lightstone out.