1
00:00:03,975 --> 00:00:06,052
(grand orchestral fanfare
playing)

2
00:00:26,173 --> 00:00:28,536
<i>-Action.</i>
<i>-Design.</i>

3
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:30,670
(tires squealing)

4
00:00:33,609 --> 00:00:35,939
♪<i> Ding, dong, ding</i> ♪

5
00:00:37,107 --> 00:00:40,075
♪<i> Ding, dong, ding</i> ♪

6
00:00:40,110 --> 00:00:43,155
("A Holly Jolly Christmas"
by Burl Ives playing)

7
00:00:46,820 --> 00:00:49,986
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪

8
00:00:50,021 --> 00:00:53,132
♪ It's the best time
of the year ♪

9
00:00:54,366 --> 00:00:57,796
♪ I don't know
if there'll be snow ♪

10
00:00:57,831 --> 00:01:00,403
♪ But have a cup of cheer ♪

11
00:01:00,438 --> 00:01:03,769
♪ Have a holly jolly Christmas ♪

12
00:01:03,804 --> 00:01:06,277
♪ And when you walk
down the street... ♪

13
00:01:08,314 --> 00:01:10,644
-(belches)
-Another one?

14
00:01:10,679 --> 00:01:14,648
Well, I'm still vertical,
so I'd like to change that.

15
00:01:14,683 --> 00:01:17,948
♪ Oh, ho, the mistletoe ♪

16
00:01:17,983 --> 00:01:20,324
♪ Hung where you can see ♪

17
00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:23,657
♪ Somebody waits for you... ♪

18
00:01:23,692 --> 00:01:25,758
(chuckling):
Ho, ho.

19
00:01:25,793 --> 00:01:27,364
(gags)

20
00:01:27,399 --> 00:01:29,465
MAN:
Bitter. Pint.

21
00:01:30,699 --> 00:01:32,435
You just get off?

22
00:01:32,470 --> 00:01:35,174
♪ And in case you didn't hear ♪

23
00:01:35,209 --> 00:01:37,506
♪ Oh, by golly,
have a holly... ♪

24
00:01:37,541 --> 00:01:39,442
I'm taking a break.

25
00:01:39,477 --> 00:01:41,642
Between shifts,
I guess you could say.

26
00:01:41,677 --> 00:01:43,347
-MAN: Hmm.
-You ain't driving, are you?

27
00:01:43,382 --> 00:01:46,185
I steer a little, but the
reindeer do most of the work.

28
00:01:46,220 --> 00:01:49,045
(laughter)

29
00:01:49,080 --> 00:01:50,552
Mm-hmm.

30
00:01:50,587 --> 00:01:52,620
This is my, uh,
fourth year as a Santa.

31
00:01:52,655 --> 00:01:53,951
Ah.

32
00:01:53,986 --> 00:01:55,293
How about you?

33
00:01:55,328 --> 00:01:57,625
Lost count.

34
00:01:57,660 --> 00:02:00,628
I forget why I started doing it
in the first place.

35
00:02:00,663 --> 00:02:03,697
Same reason anybody
does anything.

36
00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,699
The money.

37
00:02:05,734 --> 00:02:08,306
(chuckling):
Money. Money.

38
00:02:08,341 --> 00:02:10,308
This whole planet runs on greed.

39
00:02:10,343 --> 00:02:11,903
(crunching)

40
00:02:11,938 --> 00:02:15,137
(grunts, sighs)

41
00:02:15,172 --> 00:02:17,480
MAN: It's the look on
the kiddies' faces, innit?

42
00:02:17,515 --> 00:02:19,218
That's what does it for me.

43
00:02:19,253 --> 00:02:22,848
-Ah, the look. Yeah, that look.
-(man chuckles)

44
00:02:22,883 --> 00:02:25,081
Lasts about two seconds.

45
00:02:25,116 --> 00:02:27,358
As soon as they're finished
unwrapping,

46
00:02:27,393 --> 00:02:29,921
they want the next present,

47
00:02:29,956 --> 00:02:32,594
they want the next cool thing.

48
00:02:32,629 --> 00:02:34,596
That's how this world works.

49
00:02:34,631 --> 00:02:36,697
And kids--
what kids have become.

50
00:02:36,732 --> 00:02:40,899
They're just like
little junkies.

51
00:02:40,934 --> 00:02:43,506
They're little shits.
They just demand.

52
00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:45,167
They don't believe.

53
00:02:45,202 --> 00:02:48,775
They just want, crave, consume.

54
00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:50,711
(sighs softly)

55
00:02:53,815 --> 00:02:56,178
Maybe this is my last year.

56
00:02:56,213 --> 00:02:58,290
♪ ♪

57
00:02:58,325 --> 00:03:00,292
The last Christmas.

58
00:03:04,089 --> 00:03:07,596
Well, I can't stand seeing
another Santa in distress.

59
00:03:07,631 --> 00:03:08,795
(belches)

60
00:03:08,830 --> 00:03:10,368
Put his drinks on my tab.

61
00:03:10,403 --> 00:03:11,930
-Okay?
-Yeah.

62
00:03:11,965 --> 00:03:14,471
Oh, very merry of you. Okay.

63
00:03:14,506 --> 00:03:16,968
I better get going.

64
00:03:17,003 --> 00:03:18,970
Presents aren't gonna
deliver themselves.

65
00:03:19,005 --> 00:03:20,202
(laughter)

66
00:03:20,237 --> 00:03:22,281
Oh, uh...

67
00:03:22,316 --> 00:03:24,140
For your grandson.
Save me a trip.

68
00:03:24,175 --> 00:03:26,208
It's, uh, that new video game.

69
00:03:26,243 --> 00:03:28,815
It's<i> Astro Blaster,</i>
<i>Blaster Astro.</i>

70
00:03:28,850 --> 00:03:30,817
I-I don't know.

71
00:03:30,852 --> 00:03:32,291
Merry Christmas. (belches)

72
00:03:32,326 --> 00:03:34,656
How'd he know
my grandson's name?

73
00:03:34,691 --> 00:03:37,956
-How'd he know I have
a grandson? -(door opens)

74
00:03:37,991 --> 00:03:42,059
Oi! That door leads to the roof.

75
00:03:42,094 --> 00:03:43,467
Piss head.

76
00:03:43,502 --> 00:03:45,964
Go easy on him. It's Christmas.

77
00:03:48,166 --> 00:03:51,607
Hey! You can't be up here.

78
00:03:51,642 --> 00:03:55,171
If you break your neck,
I'm the one...

79
00:03:55,206 --> 00:03:57,613
(panting)

80
00:04:07,625 --> 00:04:09,592
♪ ♪

81
00:04:09,627 --> 00:04:11,396
(sleigh bells jingling)

82
00:04:12,894 --> 00:04:14,993
(sighs)

83
00:04:15,028 --> 00:04:17,303
My God.

84
00:04:22,541 --> 00:04:24,343
It's...

85
00:04:24,378 --> 00:04:26,378
(retching)

86
00:04:26,413 --> 00:04:27,709
...beauti...

87
00:04:29,647 --> 00:04:32,010
(gasping)

88
00:04:32,045 --> 00:04:34,078
♪ ♪

89
00:04:37,424 --> 00:04:39,490
("Deck the Halls" playing)

90
00:04:49,568 --> 00:04:51,568
(music ends)

91
00:04:58,038 --> 00:04:59,378
(dog barking nearby)

92
00:04:59,413 --> 00:05:01,006
(sighs)

93
00:05:01,041 --> 00:05:02,876
(rummaging)

94
00:05:04,011 --> 00:05:06,044
(vehicle approaches, horn honks)

95
00:05:09,588 --> 00:05:11,456
(bells jingling)

96
00:05:14,758 --> 00:05:17,022
Hi. Hi, hi, hi.

97
00:05:17,057 --> 00:05:19,222
There she is. Hello, muffin.

98
00:05:20,258 --> 00:05:22,368
Let's go see Grandma.

99
00:05:24,295 --> 00:05:25,833
Ooh.

100
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,901
Merry Christmas.

101
00:05:30,301 --> 00:05:31,773
Merry Christmas, Trudy.

102
00:05:31,808 --> 00:05:33,104
Merry...

103
00:05:33,139 --> 00:05:34,842
Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah!

104
00:05:34,877 --> 00:05:38,076
Merry Christmas, Daddy,
ya filthy animal.

105
00:05:38,111 --> 00:05:39,748
(Trudy chuckling)

106
00:05:39,783 --> 00:05:41,849
She got to stay up late
and watch<i> Home Alone.</i>

107
00:05:41,884 --> 00:05:42,916
Uh-huh.

108
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:45,853
It was so funny. (screams)

109
00:05:45,888 --> 00:05:48,383
-Yep.
-That... that hurts.

110
00:05:48,418 --> 00:05:49,791
-All morning.
-Okay, um...

111
00:05:49,826 --> 00:05:51,661
Thank you.

112
00:05:52,796 --> 00:05:54,763
For doing this.

113
00:05:54,798 --> 00:05:56,831
I'm not doing it for you.

114
00:05:58,637 --> 00:06:00,769
-It's Christmas!
-Yeah!

115
00:06:00,804 --> 00:06:02,837
♪ ♪

116
00:06:20,087 --> 00:06:21,658
Merry Christmas, Al.

117
00:06:21,693 --> 00:06:23,462
Hi, Linda. Merry Christmas.

118
00:06:23,497 --> 00:06:25,497
-Mr. Lightstone.
-Hey, Al.

119
00:06:25,532 --> 00:06:26,960
Hey, you back there, Tru?

120
00:06:26,995 --> 00:06:28,632
Yeah, I bet you're excited
for Christmas.

121
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:30,568
What did you ask Santa for?

122
00:06:30,603 --> 00:06:32,229
-Not to work on Christmas Eve.
-(laughs)

123
00:06:32,264 --> 00:06:33,736
Must've been naughty this year,

124
00:06:33,771 --> 00:06:35,507
-'cause here I am.
-Mm-hmm.

125
00:06:35,542 --> 00:06:37,509
Just make sure you let Santa
through the gates later, Al.

126
00:06:37,544 --> 00:06:38,939
-Yeah.
-Have a merry one, now.

127
00:06:38,974 --> 00:06:40,941
-Merry Christmas.
-Merry Christmas, Al.

128
00:06:40,976 --> 00:06:42,976
Merry Christmas, Tru.

129
00:06:43,011 --> 00:06:44,406
-(laughs) Thank you, Al.
-Yeah.

130
00:06:44,441 --> 00:06:46,485
♪ ♪

131
00:07:01,832 --> 00:07:03,865
♪ ♪

132
00:07:05,638 --> 00:07:07,429
(busy chatter)

133
00:07:07,464 --> 00:07:09,904
MAN: I can't remember
where the second one is.

134
00:07:13,206 --> 00:07:15,041
MALE VOICE (recorded):
Ho, ho, ho, ho.

135
00:07:15,076 --> 00:07:17,010
Merry Christmas.

136
00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:19,111
Hope you're on the nice list.

137
00:07:19,146 --> 00:07:21,817
WOMAN:
That doesn't go over there.

138
00:07:21,852 --> 00:07:23,885
(chatter continues indistinctly)

139
00:07:29,519 --> 00:07:31,288
WOMAN:
Excuse me.

140
00:07:31,323 --> 00:07:33,356
(chatter continues indistinctly)

141
00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,327
What the hell is this?

142
00:07:37,362 --> 00:07:39,571
You are the worst
catering company on the planet.

143
00:07:39,606 --> 00:07:41,573
It's lengthwise, not width.

144
00:07:41,608 --> 00:07:43,399
Unbelievable.

145
00:07:43,434 --> 00:07:45,511
♪ ♪

146
00:07:52,179 --> 00:07:53,618
(watch beeps)

147
00:07:59,956 --> 00:08:01,186
Okay.

148
00:08:01,221 --> 00:08:03,353
Hi. Hi, guys. Merry Christmas.

149
00:08:03,388 --> 00:08:05,388
-Hi.
-I'm fine. Thank you so much.

150
00:08:05,423 --> 00:08:08,094
("The Twelve Days of Christmas"
playing)

151
00:08:08,129 --> 00:08:11,636
I'll never get over the fact
that you grew up like this.

152
00:08:13,068 --> 00:08:15,398
My therapist says
I'll never get over it, either.

153
00:08:16,368 --> 00:08:17,609
I need a drink.

154
00:08:17,644 --> 00:08:19,204
♪ Two turtledoves ♪

155
00:08:19,239 --> 00:08:22,273
♪ And a partridge
in a pear tree... ♪

156
00:08:22,308 --> 00:08:25,375
-(whistle tooting)
-Hey, look at that.

157
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,287
Hi, Linda.

158
00:08:36,322 --> 00:08:38,355
-(chuckling): Hey.
-How's it going, Alva?

159
00:08:38,390 --> 00:08:40,258
Mm-hmm. You gained weight.

160
00:08:40,293 --> 00:08:43,096
-(coughing)
-Looks good on you, though.

161
00:08:43,131 --> 00:08:45,032
-Thank you.
-Mm-hmm.

162
00:08:45,067 --> 00:08:46,638
'Sup, limp dick?

163
00:08:46,673 --> 00:08:48,233
(sighs)

164
00:08:48,268 --> 00:08:49,806
I got great feelings
about this Christmas.

165
00:08:49,841 --> 00:08:52,039
-You want to know why?
-Yeah.

166
00:08:52,074 --> 00:08:53,975
'Cause I think this is the year

167
00:08:54,010 --> 00:08:55,977
that Mom's gonna
kick herself upstairs

168
00:08:56,012 --> 00:08:58,650
and choose one of us
to start running the show.

169
00:08:58,685 --> 00:09:02,918
And I got to tell you, Jason,
that I'm gunning for your ass.

170
00:09:02,953 --> 00:09:04,546
(clicks tongue)

171
00:09:04,581 --> 00:09:06,284
What would a Lightstone
family Christmas be

172
00:09:06,319 --> 00:09:08,055
without groveling
and infighting?

173
00:09:08,090 --> 00:09:09,452
(Alva chuckling)

174
00:09:09,487 --> 00:09:11,091
SERVER:
Your rosé, ma'am.

175
00:09:11,126 --> 00:09:13,764
Honey, smile. It's Christmas.

176
00:09:13,799 --> 00:09:14,930
Mm.

177
00:09:14,965 --> 00:09:16,426
Good. Good girl.

178
00:09:16,461 --> 00:09:17,867
(chuckles)

179
00:09:18,936 --> 00:09:22,003
I am sorry about my sister.

180
00:09:22,038 --> 00:09:24,643
♪ Making spirits bright ♪

181
00:09:24,678 --> 00:09:27,503
♪ What fun it is
to ride and sing... ♪

182
00:09:27,538 --> 00:09:29,615
It is really nice to see you.

183
00:09:31,685 --> 00:09:33,982
To have you here.

184
00:09:34,017 --> 00:09:37,315
♪ Jingle all the way... ♪

185
00:09:37,350 --> 00:09:40,615
Okay, I'm behind. Catch me up
on all the hot goss.

186
00:09:40,650 --> 00:09:42,661
Hot goss. Okay.

187
00:09:42,696 --> 00:09:46,423
Um, well, you remember Bert,
my sister's pride and joy.

188
00:09:46,458 --> 00:09:50,196
Yo, yo, yo.
This is the Bert Locker

189
00:09:50,231 --> 00:09:54,101
living that bling life
on Christmas Eve.

190
00:09:54,136 --> 00:09:55,531
(laughs, inhales sharply)

191
00:09:55,566 --> 00:09:57,104
Hashtag "blessed."

192
00:09:57,139 --> 00:09:59,777
He just got
what I can only assume

193
00:09:59,812 --> 00:10:02,846
will be his first of many
sexual harassment accusations.

194
00:10:02,881 --> 00:10:04,716
Mom paid off the school,

195
00:10:04,751 --> 00:10:06,685
and now the gymnasium
is named after us.

196
00:10:06,720 --> 00:10:08,687
Of course she did.

197
00:10:08,722 --> 00:10:09,820
What about Tragic Mike?

198
00:10:09,855 --> 00:10:11,547
All I'm saying is,

199
00:10:11,582 --> 00:10:13,384
if I was on one of those planes,

200
00:10:13,419 --> 00:10:15,386
9/11 would've ended
with a bunch of terrorists

201
00:10:15,421 --> 00:10:19,126
skydiving over Connecticut
without their parachutes.

202
00:10:19,161 --> 00:10:21,161
-(grunts) Yeah. You like that?
-ALVA: Yes. Yes.

203
00:10:21,196 --> 00:10:23,394
-Yeah, I do like it.
-Ooh.

204
00:10:23,429 --> 00:10:25,660
-Kiss me in front of my son.
-Now, huh?

205
00:10:25,695 --> 00:10:28,366
-Mm...
-(Alva chuckles)

206
00:10:28,401 --> 00:10:30,401
He might actually be
a decent actor.

207
00:10:30,436 --> 00:10:32,502
-Hmm. -He's been doing
an Oscar-worthy job

208
00:10:32,537 --> 00:10:35,010
-of pretending to find
my sister appealing. -(laughs)

209
00:10:35,045 --> 00:10:37,375
Now he wants Mom
to fund a film for him.

210
00:10:37,410 --> 00:10:38,882
(laughing)

211
00:10:38,917 --> 00:10:40,543
(indistinct chatter)

212
00:10:40,578 --> 00:10:42,545
-MORGAN: It's Gertrude!
-It's Mom.

213
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:44,580
-Okay, let's do this.
-Okay, okay. Come on.

214
00:10:44,615 --> 00:10:46,219
-Come on. Bert, get over here.
-No. Mom. Mom!

215
00:10:46,254 --> 00:10:47,550
-Positions.
-Game time, buddy.

216
00:10:47,585 --> 00:10:49,321
-Okay. Okay.
-This is my good side.

217
00:10:49,356 --> 00:10:51,059
-BERT: I'm busy. -ALVA:
We've gone over this! Come on!

218
00:10:51,094 --> 00:10:52,225
MORGAN:
Gosh. Okay.

219
00:10:52,260 --> 00:10:53,424
ALVA:
Bert, get in the middle.

220
00:10:53,459 --> 00:10:54,766
(sighs):
So it begins.

221
00:10:54,801 --> 00:10:56,658
Seriously, come.
You know what that means.

222
00:10:56,693 --> 00:10:58,770
Shall we jockey forward?

223
00:10:58,805 --> 00:11:00,464
No.

224
00:11:01,698 --> 00:11:04,171
No, we can hang back.

225
00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:05,700
Yeah.

226
00:11:05,735 --> 00:11:07,273
Trudy, honey?

227
00:11:09,145 --> 00:11:10,441
Come on over here.

228
00:11:10,476 --> 00:11:11,783
-(growls playfully)
-(Trudy chuckles)

229
00:11:11,818 --> 00:11:14,016
Just, like...

230
00:11:14,051 --> 00:11:15,754
GERTRUDE:
Threaten 'em or bribe 'em.

231
00:11:15,789 --> 00:11:17,085
This isn't rocket science.

232
00:11:17,120 --> 00:11:18,581
Same shit we always do.

233
00:11:20,222 --> 00:11:21,584
That's what?

234
00:11:21,619 --> 00:11:23,894
That's the best you can do?

235
00:11:23,929 --> 00:11:25,764
Excited to see your grandma?

236
00:11:25,799 --> 00:11:27,194
Listen, you cocksucker.

237
00:11:27,229 --> 00:11:29,097
It's Christmas,
so why don't you take

238
00:11:29,132 --> 00:11:31,033
your best offer, gift wrap it,

239
00:11:31,068 --> 00:11:33,970
and ram it up your fucking box.

240
00:11:34,005 --> 00:11:35,367
(Alva clears throat)

241
00:11:35,402 --> 00:11:37,776
GERTRUDE: Maybe you don't
realize who I am.

242
00:11:37,811 --> 00:11:39,272
Those were Grandma words.
You know, forget them.

243
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,076
ALVA: Oh, boy.
Look at Mr. Cool back here.

244
00:11:41,111 --> 00:11:43,375
Yeah, what's your angle, man?
Hmm?

245
00:11:43,410 --> 00:11:45,916
No angle.
I'm not doing anything.

246
00:11:45,951 --> 00:11:47,478
(scoffing):
Oh, yeah.

247
00:11:47,513 --> 00:11:49,249
GERTRUDE: No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No!

248
00:11:49,284 --> 00:11:52,054
Don't shit in my mouth
and tell me it's chocolate cake.

249
00:11:52,089 --> 00:11:53,385
(chuckles) Grandma's cool.

250
00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:55,750
GERTRUDE:
I can make that story go away...

251
00:11:55,785 --> 00:11:57,422
I think your brother's
up to something.

252
00:11:57,457 --> 00:11:59,127
No, I just decided
to let you guys

253
00:11:59,162 --> 00:12:00,964
have all the fun
sucking up to Mom today.

254
00:12:00,999 --> 00:12:03,725
Please. You are King Suck-up.

255
00:12:03,760 --> 00:12:05,760
You named your kid Gertrude.

256
00:12:05,795 --> 00:12:07,267
(Linda scoffs)

257
00:12:07,302 --> 00:12:09,401
Alva, you named
your son Bertrude.

258
00:12:09,436 --> 00:12:11,601
Okay.

259
00:12:11,636 --> 00:12:13,504
Sorry, Bert,
but that's not a real name.

260
00:12:13,539 --> 00:12:16,078
Sorry, Linda. We can't all be
lucky enough to have daughters.

261
00:12:16,113 --> 00:12:17,849
Mom, I can hear you.

262
00:12:19,215 --> 00:12:21,677
You know something we don't.
What is it?

263
00:12:21,712 --> 00:12:23,283
No, I don't. I don't.

264
00:12:23,318 --> 00:12:24,581
I got it. Bingo.

265
00:12:24,616 --> 00:12:25,857
I'm onto you, man. Come on!

266
00:12:25,892 --> 00:12:27,617
-We were just...
-MORGAN: Come on,

267
00:12:27,652 --> 00:12:28,959
come on, come on, come on.

268
00:12:28,994 --> 00:12:31,093
-GERTRUDE: You big sack of shit.
-Ooh.

269
00:12:31,128 --> 00:12:32,864
No wonder your husband left you.

270
00:12:32,899 --> 00:12:34,965
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

271
00:12:36,232 --> 00:12:38,463
Merry Christmas to you, too,
Senator.

272
00:12:39,466 --> 00:12:41,169
-Merry Christmas, Mommy.
-Merry Christmas.

273
00:12:41,204 --> 00:12:42,599
(chuckling)

274
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:44,304
LINDA:
Merry Christmas.

275
00:12:44,339 --> 00:12:46,735
Why in the hell are you standing
all the way back there?

276
00:12:47,881 --> 00:12:49,771
Merry Christmas, Grandma!

277
00:12:49,806 --> 00:12:51,883
-GERTRUDE: Aw.
-Little bitch.

278
00:12:51,918 --> 00:12:54,314
Little Gertrude. And how is
my favorite granddaughter?

279
00:12:54,349 --> 00:12:56,712
Everybody calls me Trudy now.

280
00:12:56,747 --> 00:12:58,351
Trudy?

281
00:13:00,025 --> 00:13:02,157
-Well, that makes her
sound like a whore. -Okay.

282
00:13:02,192 --> 00:13:04,555
Oh, she doesn't even know
the meaning of the word.

283
00:13:04,590 --> 00:13:06,997
I'm starving. Let's eat.

284
00:13:07,032 --> 00:13:08,559
ALVA:
Great.

285
00:13:08,594 --> 00:13:10,968
And, Mom, I think Gertrude
is a beautiful name.

286
00:13:11,003 --> 00:13:13,333
Mm-hmm.
I only call her Gertrude.

287
00:13:13,368 --> 00:13:14,664
-Merry Christmas, Gertrude.
-Come on, Bertrude.

288
00:13:14,699 --> 00:13:18,371
♪ When the kids
are fast asleep ♪

289
00:13:18,406 --> 00:13:20,978
♪ Gently down the stairs
we'll creep ♪

290
00:13:21,013 --> 00:13:22,738
(swallows, gags)

291
00:13:22,773 --> 00:13:25,576
♪ Then we'll lock and bolt
all the doors ♪

292
00:13:25,611 --> 00:13:29,151
♪ Just you and me
and Santa Claus ♪

293
00:13:29,186 --> 00:13:30,680
(groans)

294
00:13:30,715 --> 00:13:33,485
♪ We'll be as quiet
as quiet can be ♪

295
00:13:33,520 --> 00:13:36,851
♪ Planting toys under the tree ♪

296
00:13:36,886 --> 00:13:40,591
♪ We'll be crawling around
on all fours ♪

297
00:13:40,626 --> 00:13:42,362
♪ Just you and me ♪

298
00:13:42,397 --> 00:13:44,859
-♪ And Santa Claus ♪
-(belching)

299
00:13:44,894 --> 00:13:46,399
(whooping)

300
00:13:46,434 --> 00:13:48,467
♪ ♪

301
00:13:52,374 --> 00:13:54,341
♪ For soon will be ♪

302
00:13:54,376 --> 00:13:56,112
-♪ That magic time ♪
-(scoffs)

303
00:13:56,147 --> 00:13:58,708
♪ When we hear
that midnight chime ♪

304
00:13:58,743 --> 00:14:00,446
-(wind whistling)
-(urine splattering)

305
00:14:00,481 --> 00:14:02,085
-♪ When that flying sleigh ♪
-(grunts)

306
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:04,450
♪ Finally flies away ♪

307
00:14:04,485 --> 00:14:07,717
♪ We'll have a very merry
Christmas Day ♪

308
00:14:07,752 --> 00:14:12,128
♪ We'll raise a toast
to the team with the most ♪

309
00:14:12,163 --> 00:14:15,527
♪ The best there ever was ♪

310
00:14:15,562 --> 00:14:19,564
♪ You and me
and Santa Claus... ♪

311
00:14:19,599 --> 00:14:22,138
Another fucking Christmas.

312
00:14:24,109 --> 00:14:25,735
(song ends)

313
00:14:25,770 --> 00:14:27,440
TRUDY:
<i>I made these all by myself.</i>

314
00:14:27,475 --> 00:14:29,145
-JASON:<i> No way.</i>
-LINDA:<i> Mm-hmm.</i>

315
00:14:29,180 --> 00:14:31,147
TRUDY: I even made one
that looks exactly like Santa.

316
00:14:31,182 --> 00:14:33,578
-Exactly.
-JASON (laughs): Yeah.

317
00:14:34,581 --> 00:14:35,987
Santa gets a candy cane, too?

318
00:14:36,022 --> 00:14:37,285
Yeah.

319
00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:38,682
Mm, okay.

320
00:14:40,191 --> 00:14:41,751
It's perfect.

321
00:14:41,786 --> 00:14:43,555
No peeking.

322
00:14:43,590 --> 00:14:45,887
This house has so many chimneys.

323
00:14:45,922 --> 00:14:47,493
(Linda chuckles)

324
00:14:47,528 --> 00:14:49,594
How will Santa know
which one to come down?

325
00:14:49,629 --> 00:14:51,431
Oh, Santa just knows.

326
00:14:51,466 --> 00:14:52,971
Christmas magic.

327
00:14:56,141 --> 00:14:57,976
Honey, what's wrong?

328
00:14:58,011 --> 00:15:01,144
Daddy never took me to see
Santa at the mall this year.

329
00:15:02,147 --> 00:15:04,180
LINDA:
He didn't.

330
00:15:06,646 --> 00:15:08,646
I am so sorry.

331
00:15:10,617 --> 00:15:12,518
This year has been weird.

332
00:15:12,553 --> 00:15:16,192
I never got to tell Santa
what I wanted for Christmas.

333
00:15:16,227 --> 00:15:18,557
Oh, honey. Come here.

334
00:15:22,464 --> 00:15:24,926
You know what?

335
00:15:24,961 --> 00:15:29,205
You go put your pj's on,

336
00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:32,076
and I will be two minutes.

337
00:15:33,904 --> 00:15:35,981
♪ ♪

338
00:15:38,084 --> 00:15:40,183
(hushed):
Yes!

339
00:15:41,747 --> 00:15:44,286
Okay...

340
00:15:44,321 --> 00:15:47,157
(muttering)

341
00:15:52,197 --> 00:15:53,790
(sighs):
Yes.

342
00:15:53,825 --> 00:15:55,858
(paper rustling)

343
00:15:57,598 --> 00:15:59,433
Yes!

344
00:16:01,239 --> 00:16:05,505
Because you have been so good
to me and Mommy this year,

345
00:16:05,540 --> 00:16:09,476
we decided that
you could have one gift...

346
00:16:09,511 --> 00:16:11,313
(gasps) early!

347
00:16:11,348 --> 00:16:13,612
-Really?
-(Jason chuckling)

348
00:16:17,717 --> 00:16:19,783
What is it?

349
00:16:21,952 --> 00:16:25,393
That is a very special
walkie-talkie.

350
00:16:25,428 --> 00:16:26,823
It's magic.

351
00:16:26,858 --> 00:16:28,198
-Magic?
-Mm-hmm.

352
00:16:28,233 --> 00:16:30,497
What you got right there

353
00:16:30,532 --> 00:16:32,928
is a direct hotline
to Santa Claus himself.

354
00:16:32,963 --> 00:16:35,601
-I can talk to Santa?
-Oh, yeah.

355
00:16:35,636 --> 00:16:39,407
It's just like writing him
a letter... but better.

356
00:16:39,442 --> 00:16:40,573
Mm-hmm.

357
00:16:40,608 --> 00:16:43,345
Now, the only thing is,

358
00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:45,776
he might not have time
to answer you.

359
00:16:45,811 --> 00:16:47,580
He's delivering a lot
of presents tonight.

360
00:16:47,615 --> 00:16:49,186
Mm-hmm.

361
00:16:49,221 --> 00:16:51,551
But he'll hear everything
you want to say to him.

362
00:16:55,887 --> 00:16:58,052
(beeps, crackles)

363
00:16:58,087 --> 00:16:59,889
Hello, Santa?

364
00:16:59,924 --> 00:17:03,365
This is Trudy Lightstone.

365
00:17:03,400 --> 00:17:05,532
I hope you're having
a nice night.

366
00:17:05,567 --> 00:17:07,699
JASON:
Mm. (kissing rapidly)

367
00:17:07,734 --> 00:17:12,176
It's really cold tonight,
so don't forget your mittens.

368
00:17:13,245 --> 00:17:16,576
So, I wanted to tell you, Santa,

369
00:17:16,611 --> 00:17:18,578
I was extra good this year,

370
00:17:18,613 --> 00:17:22,285
so I wrote a big list for you
with all the stuff I wanted.

371
00:17:23,684 --> 00:17:25,783
But then...

372
00:17:25,818 --> 00:17:29,094
then I realized
I don't need any of that.

373
00:17:30,262 --> 00:17:33,626
I really only want
one present for Christmas.

374
00:17:35,465 --> 00:17:38,994
I want Mommy and Daddy
to make up

375
00:17:39,029 --> 00:17:41,304
so we can be a family again.

376
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:44,406
Okay.

377
00:17:44,441 --> 00:17:46,375
Good night, Santa.

378
00:17:47,840 --> 00:17:49,774
Good night, Mr. Bunny.

379
00:17:54,011 --> 00:17:56,286
(sighs)

380
00:17:57,388 --> 00:17:58,816
(footsteps squishing)

381
00:17:58,851 --> 00:18:01,192
(groans)

382
00:18:02,294 --> 00:18:03,953
Which one of you did that?

383
00:18:03,988 --> 00:18:05,328
(reindeer grunting)

384
00:18:05,363 --> 00:18:06,791
You can't go two seconds without

385
00:18:06,826 --> 00:18:08,529
crapping on the roof
like a bunch of pigeons?

386
00:18:08,564 --> 00:18:10,201
(huffing)

387
00:18:10,236 --> 00:18:13,138
So unprofessional.

388
00:18:14,702 --> 00:18:16,097
(sighs)

389
00:18:16,132 --> 00:18:18,506
You know, Rudolph
will never do this crap.

390
00:18:19,542 --> 00:18:22,213
-(jingling)
-(whooshing)

391
00:18:23,381 --> 00:18:25,348
(sighs, grunts)

392
00:18:25,383 --> 00:18:27,416
♪ ♪

393
00:18:31,752 --> 00:18:33,389
Hmm.

394
00:18:37,725 --> 00:18:39,494
Mmm.

395
00:18:44,094 --> 00:18:46,303
(chuckling)

396
00:18:46,338 --> 00:18:48,371
Mmm, mmm.

397
00:18:49,605 --> 00:18:51,737
Homemade.

398
00:18:51,772 --> 00:18:53,244
Mmm.

399
00:18:53,279 --> 00:18:54,938
(slurps)

400
00:18:57,074 --> 00:18:59,041
Ugh.

401
00:18:59,076 --> 00:19:00,548
Skim.

402
00:19:10,890 --> 00:19:12,560
Oh, yeah.

403
00:19:12,595 --> 00:19:14,529
That's the stuff.

404
00:19:19,063 --> 00:19:20,931
Mmm.

405
00:19:21,934 --> 00:19:23,868
DuBoi...

406
00:19:23,903 --> 00:19:26,871
-On some prewar shit
right there. -(cork pops)

407
00:19:26,906 --> 00:19:29,137
-Good shit.
-(cork clatters on floor)

408
00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:35,781
("We Wish You a Merry Christmas"
melody plays)

409
00:19:39,457 --> 00:19:40,885
(melody ends)

410
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,425
(exhales sharply) Mmm.

411
00:19:42,460 --> 00:19:44,020
That pairs well.

412
00:19:44,055 --> 00:19:46,660
What do we have here?

413
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,664
(sighing)

414
00:19:59,906 --> 00:20:01,774
(chair vibrating)

415
00:20:02,942 --> 00:20:04,777
Oh, yeah.

416
00:20:04,812 --> 00:20:06,680
That's the stuff.

417
00:20:09,652 --> 00:20:11,487
(slurping)

418
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:18,890
-You know, uh...
-(sighs)

419
00:20:18,925 --> 00:20:21,893
Christmas is all right,

420
00:20:21,928 --> 00:20:25,303
but you Americans don't
celebrate my favorite holiday.

421
00:20:26,295 --> 00:20:28,097
Oh, yeah? What?

422
00:20:28,132 --> 00:20:29,637
Boxing Day.

423
00:20:31,201 --> 00:20:33,102
(glass shatters)

424
00:20:33,137 --> 00:20:35,170
♪ ♪

425
00:20:40,045 --> 00:20:42,144
(watch beeping)

426
00:20:42,179 --> 00:20:44,212
(chiming)

427
00:20:49,791 --> 00:20:51,824
(watches chiming)

428
00:20:56,468 --> 00:20:58,501
(watch chiming)

429
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,771
Yo, yo. B. Lightstone here,

430
00:21:04,806 --> 00:21:06,476
live streaming the dream,
you know.

431
00:21:06,511 --> 00:21:08,973
They say the richest man...

432
00:21:10,174 --> 00:21:11,877
Say goodbye.

433
00:21:11,912 --> 00:21:13,648
And if you...

434
00:21:15,080 --> 00:21:17,817
Grandma! Your Wi-Fi sucks dick.

435
00:21:17,852 --> 00:21:19,654
Damn it!

436
00:21:19,689 --> 00:21:22,118
When he was small,
I begged you to beat him.

437
00:21:22,153 --> 00:21:24,087
(gasps softly)

438
00:21:39,742 --> 00:21:41,709
Hey. Merry Christmas.

439
00:21:41,744 --> 00:21:43,546
Or should I say
"happy holidays" now?

440
00:21:43,581 --> 00:21:45,581
Right? I mean, it's like,
people, make up your minds.

441
00:21:45,616 --> 00:21:47,682
-You know what I'm saying?
-Can I help you?

442
00:21:47,717 --> 00:21:49,651
Oh, yeah. I sure hope so.
See, uh,

443
00:21:49,686 --> 00:21:51,422
my car broke down
a little ways...

444
00:21:51,457 --> 00:21:53,182
Out here?
This is a private road.

445
00:21:53,217 --> 00:21:55,184
You're telling me. (chuckles)

446
00:21:55,219 --> 00:21:57,318
It's the first place
I've seen for miles.

447
00:21:57,353 --> 00:21:58,693
I think I got frostbite.

448
00:21:58,728 --> 00:22:00,090
Where the hell am I, anyway?

449
00:22:00,125 --> 00:22:01,762
G.T. Lightstone family compound.

450
00:22:01,797 --> 00:22:03,368
I'll call you a tow.

451
00:22:06,032 --> 00:22:07,801
-(silenced gunshot)
-(grunts)

452
00:22:10,135 --> 00:22:12,674
♪ ♪

453
00:22:12,709 --> 00:22:14,676
All right, revelers.

454
00:22:14,711 --> 00:22:16,414
(over earpiece):
Time to steal Christmas.

455
00:22:16,449 --> 00:22:17,712
Sound off.

456
00:22:17,747 --> 00:22:19,208
Jingle. Check.

457
00:22:19,243 --> 00:22:20,913
Peppermint. Check.

458
00:22:20,948 --> 00:22:22,376
Sugarplum. Check.

459
00:22:22,411 --> 00:22:25,346
Krampus. Ready to fuck shit up.

460
00:22:25,381 --> 00:22:27,348
Candy Cane. Check.

461
00:22:27,383 --> 00:22:29,889
-Go for Frosty.
-Go for Tinsel.

462
00:22:29,924 --> 00:22:31,759
Go for Gingerbread.

463
00:22:31,794 --> 00:22:34,465
Are we gonna use these stupid
code names all night?

464
00:22:34,500 --> 00:22:36,093
(over earpiece):
'Tis the season.

465
00:22:36,128 --> 00:22:39,800
Welcome to your worst
Christmas ever.

466
00:22:39,835 --> 00:22:43,100
Trudy loves seeing Santa
at the mall.

467
00:22:44,136 --> 00:22:45,872
She loves going with her father.

468
00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:47,445
And you should've
taken her yesterday,

469
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:48,908
like you do every Christmas,

470
00:22:48,943 --> 00:22:50,547
but we didn't even
hear from you.

471
00:22:50,582 --> 00:22:51,944
Mom put me on a special project.

472
00:22:51,979 --> 00:22:53,484
-It's complicated.
-But it's not,

473
00:22:53,519 --> 00:22:55,585
because it keeps happening
over and over.

474
00:22:55,620 --> 00:22:57,851
-Your mother forcing herself
between us. -You're right.

475
00:22:59,756 --> 00:23:01,789
♪ ♪

476
00:23:02,825 --> 00:23:04,990
What if we could give Trudy
her Christmas wish?

477
00:23:05,025 --> 00:23:07,124
(scoffs)
You're trying to win me back

478
00:23:07,159 --> 00:23:09,731
with a romantic weekend
at your mother's?

479
00:23:09,766 --> 00:23:12,932
What if things
really changed this time?

480
00:23:14,837 --> 00:23:17,134
We got out from under
my mother's thumb.

481
00:23:17,169 --> 00:23:19,136
We'll walk away.

482
00:23:19,171 --> 00:23:21,545
From the company, the family.

483
00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:25,978
Tonight.

484
00:23:26,981 --> 00:23:28,343
What are you up to?

485
00:23:28,378 --> 00:23:31,456
(distant gunfire)

486
00:23:33,020 --> 00:23:34,723
-(rapid gunfire)
-(grunts)

487
00:23:38,355 --> 00:23:39,959
(chair vibrating)

488
00:23:39,994 --> 00:23:41,961
-(distant gunfire)
-(snorts)

489
00:23:46,066 --> 00:23:47,461
(vibrating stops)

490
00:23:47,496 --> 00:23:49,034
(gunfire continues)

491
00:23:53,711 --> 00:23:55,975
(groaning)

492
00:24:03,512 --> 00:24:05,017
(gunfire continues)

493
00:24:05,052 --> 00:24:07,690
(grunting)

494
00:24:07,725 --> 00:24:09,890
(panting quietly)

495
00:24:09,925 --> 00:24:12,156
(whimpering)

496
00:24:12,191 --> 00:24:13,729
-(Candy Cane yells)
-(grunts)

497
00:24:13,764 --> 00:24:15,060
Let's go.

498
00:24:15,095 --> 00:24:17,458
We need to get you out of here.

499
00:24:17,493 --> 00:24:19,394
Mommy, where are you going?

500
00:24:19,429 --> 00:24:21,132
-She's going for the panic room!
-What?

501
00:24:21,167 --> 00:24:22,573
-Yes. Go, Bertrude.
-Without us?

502
00:24:22,608 --> 00:24:24,905
-(gunfire continues)
-(groaning)

503
00:24:27,074 --> 00:24:28,469
(grunts)

504
00:24:28,504 --> 00:24:30,372
ALVA: Fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck.

505
00:24:39,218 --> 00:24:40,789
(gunfire)

506
00:24:52,198 --> 00:24:54,099
GERTRUDE:
There isn't room for all of us.

507
00:24:54,134 --> 00:24:55,837
She can fit at least two of us.
Mom, take me.

508
00:24:55,872 --> 00:24:57,773
-Mom! (stammers)
-Oh. Yeah.

509
00:24:57,808 --> 00:24:59,533
M-Mom, can Bert come, too?

510
00:24:59,568 --> 00:25:02,107
-(device beeps)
-(whirring)

511
00:25:02,142 --> 00:25:03,438
Okay. Move it or lose it, son.

512
00:25:03,473 --> 00:25:05,077
-Move it!
-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

513
00:25:05,112 --> 00:25:07,244
You're supposed to protect us.

514
00:25:07,279 --> 00:25:08,619
We protect the primary asset.

515
00:25:12,790 --> 00:25:14,053
Who the hell are you?

516
00:25:14,088 --> 00:25:16,759
You can call me Mr. Scrooge.

517
00:25:17,729 --> 00:25:18,959
Hilarious.

518
00:25:18,994 --> 00:25:20,389
Get him.

519
00:25:21,161 --> 00:25:22,963
(grunting and groaning)

520
00:25:29,103 --> 00:25:31,334
Bah humbug, motherfucker.

521
00:25:34,779 --> 00:25:36,812
♪ ♪

522
00:25:40,851 --> 00:25:42,917
SCROOGE:
Hey. Step aside.

523
00:25:44,448 --> 00:25:46,822
Tinsel, Peppermint,
sweep upstairs.

524
00:25:46,857 --> 00:25:48,857
I want all the Lightstones
together.

525
00:25:49,827 --> 00:25:51,486
Kill anybody else you find.

526
00:25:55,866 --> 00:25:59,263
(panting, whimpering)

527
00:26:01,707 --> 00:26:04,466
Fuck. Fuck, fuck.

528
00:26:05,469 --> 00:26:07,678
LINDA:
Trudy, honey, we got to go.

529
00:26:08,846 --> 00:26:10,505
JASON:
Wake up, honey. Wake up.

530
00:26:10,540 --> 00:26:13,013
Maybe we can get out the back
by the servants' stairs.

531
00:26:16,821 --> 00:26:18,249
(gasps)

532
00:26:18,284 --> 00:26:20,086
(crackles, whistles)

533
00:26:20,121 --> 00:26:22,451
Oh, come on. Not now. Not now.

534
00:26:22,486 --> 00:26:23,584
(crackles, whistles)

535
00:26:23,619 --> 00:26:25,586
Fuck! Fuck!

536
00:26:25,621 --> 00:26:27,258
Mistletoe, gingerbread.

537
00:26:27,293 --> 00:26:29,194
(crackles, whistles)

538
00:26:31,495 --> 00:26:33,165
(gasps)

539
00:26:40,845 --> 00:26:43,175
(banging)

540
00:26:51,317 --> 00:26:52,349
Hey!

541
00:26:52,384 --> 00:26:54,021
(jingling)

542
00:26:55,189 --> 00:26:56,485
Oh. Oh.

543
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:58,025
(chuckling):
Hi.

544
00:26:58,060 --> 00:27:00,621
You got me.

545
00:27:00,656 --> 00:27:03,063
I don't want any trouble, okay?

546
00:27:03,098 --> 00:27:04,900
Downstairs. Now.

547
00:27:04,935 --> 00:27:08,563
Look, mister,
I don't want to get involved.

548
00:27:08,598 --> 00:27:10,840
I just...
I just have a job to do.

549
00:27:10,875 --> 00:27:12,336
Okay? That's it.

550
00:27:12,371 --> 00:27:14,910
I'm just gonna take my bag,

551
00:27:14,945 --> 00:27:17,473
and I'm just gonna
scooch up that chimney.

552
00:27:17,508 --> 00:27:19,079
(both grunt)

553
00:27:19,114 --> 00:27:20,751
Enough talk. Let's go.

554
00:27:21,754 --> 00:27:23,380
You don't want to do this.

555
00:27:23,415 --> 00:27:24,645
What? This?

556
00:27:24,680 --> 00:27:26,317
(both grunt)

557
00:27:26,352 --> 00:27:27,725
Now, move!

558
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,683
-(groaning)
-Are you deaf?

559
00:27:29,718 --> 00:27:31,729
Fucking move!

560
00:27:31,764 --> 00:27:33,027
(Tinsel gasps)

561
00:27:33,062 --> 00:27:35,062
(grunting)

562
00:27:38,628 --> 00:27:40,870
(snorting, grunting)

563
00:27:40,905 --> 00:27:42,432
(rapid hoofbeats)

564
00:27:42,467 --> 00:27:44,335
No, no, no.

565
00:27:44,370 --> 00:27:47,503
No! Wait!

566
00:27:47,538 --> 00:27:48,944
Wait.

567
00:27:48,979 --> 00:27:50,506
Wait! Don't go!

568
00:27:50,541 --> 00:27:52,409
Come back!

569
00:27:55,986 --> 00:27:58,052
(grunting)

570
00:28:00,254 --> 00:28:03,090
(both yelling)

571
00:28:03,125 --> 00:28:05,422
(grunting and groaning)

572
00:28:05,457 --> 00:28:07,655
-(sizzling)
-(screaming)

573
00:28:11,837 --> 00:28:13,364
(steam hissing)

574
00:28:13,399 --> 00:28:15,564
(groaning)

575
00:28:15,599 --> 00:28:17,632
(both yelling, grunting)

576
00:28:22,848 --> 00:28:24,914
(groaning)

577
00:28:29,855 --> 00:28:32,020
(crackling, whistling)

578
00:28:34,321 --> 00:28:37,190
(grunting and groaning)

579
00:28:50,535 --> 00:28:53,206
(strained grunting)

580
00:28:57,377 --> 00:28:59,641
(screaming)

581
00:29:02,855 --> 00:29:05,317
(yells)

582
00:29:07,486 --> 00:29:09,156
Oh, fuck!

583
00:29:10,621 --> 00:29:12,357
(grunts)

584
00:29:12,392 --> 00:29:15,459
(coughs, groans)

585
00:29:16,825 --> 00:29:18,869
(groaning)

586
00:29:33,314 --> 00:29:34,885
Oh, shit.

587
00:29:34,920 --> 00:29:36,986
(wind whistling)

588
00:29:42,895 --> 00:29:45,159
(frustrated grunt)

589
00:29:45,194 --> 00:29:47,689
(panting, gasping)

590
00:29:56,271 --> 00:29:59,877
Damn chickenshit reindeer
leave me here to die.

591
00:30:08,613 --> 00:30:11,680
(to tune of "Silent Night"):
♪ Violent night ♪

592
00:30:11,715 --> 00:30:14,749
♪ Gory night ♪

593
00:30:14,784 --> 00:30:17,224
♪ All is calm ♪

594
00:30:17,259 --> 00:30:21,063
♪ If all doesn't want to get
shot in the fucking head. ♪

595
00:30:22,066 --> 00:30:23,494
GERTRUDE:
Cute.

596
00:30:23,529 --> 00:30:26,431
Do you have any idea
who you're fucking with?

597
00:30:28,534 --> 00:30:30,072
(groaning)

598
00:30:30,107 --> 00:30:32,943
I know exactly
who I'm fucking with.

599
00:30:32,978 --> 00:30:34,835
Oh, wait, wait.
Did you actually think

600
00:30:34,870 --> 00:30:36,507
that I spent months

601
00:30:36,542 --> 00:30:39,114
planning a complex break-in
to the most secure

602
00:30:39,149 --> 00:30:40,874
private residence in the country

603
00:30:40,909 --> 00:30:42,579
and I didn't know
who lived here?

604
00:30:42,614 --> 00:30:44,053
Well, you're wrong.

605
00:30:44,088 --> 00:30:47,023
'Cause your staff are dead.

606
00:30:47,058 --> 00:30:49,190
-Your security are dead.
-(grunts)

607
00:30:49,225 --> 00:30:52,325
Now, sit down
and shut the fuck up!

608
00:30:54,395 --> 00:30:56,131
(Trudy screams)

609
00:31:00,401 --> 00:31:02,797
♪ ♪

610
00:31:20,454 --> 00:31:22,487
Oh, fuck.

611
00:31:25,591 --> 00:31:26,997
We planned it. It's all right.

612
00:31:27,032 --> 00:31:28,493
It'll be solved
in a couple minutes.

613
00:31:28,528 --> 00:31:30,165
Better be solved.

614
00:31:30,200 --> 00:31:32,431
So much like a scene
from my movie<i> Dark Ransom.</i>

615
00:31:32,466 --> 00:31:33,795
Oh, my God.

616
00:31:35,007 --> 00:31:36,600
If they didn't have guns,

617
00:31:36,635 --> 00:31:38,635
I could take out three,
maybe four of them.

618
00:31:38,670 --> 00:31:40,571
ALVA:
Try all of them.

619
00:31:40,606 --> 00:31:43,310
Ew, Mom. Yuck.

620
00:31:43,345 --> 00:31:45,312
If you'd really done
your research, you'd know

621
00:31:45,347 --> 00:31:47,842
that my brother Rory
was kidnapped in the '70s.

622
00:31:48,944 --> 00:31:51,450
But my father
never called the police.

623
00:31:51,485 --> 00:31:54,090
Dad sent in our own
private extraction team,

624
00:31:54,125 --> 00:31:57,522
and Rory was home
safe and sound a week later.

625
00:31:57,557 --> 00:32:01,130
And the kidnappers
were never found.

626
00:32:01,165 --> 00:32:03,033
If you get me.

627
00:32:04,696 --> 00:32:06,300
I know.

628
00:32:06,335 --> 00:32:09,171
I know all about
your extraction team

629
00:32:09,206 --> 00:32:11,041
that you affectionately call
"the Kill Squad"

630
00:32:11,076 --> 00:32:13,043
behind closed doors.

631
00:32:13,078 --> 00:32:14,935
I also know
that they're on their way

632
00:32:14,970 --> 00:32:16,937
and how long it's gonna
take 'em to get here.

633
00:32:16,972 --> 00:32:19,610
I even know their credit ratings
and their dick sizes.

634
00:32:19,645 --> 00:32:21,447
If you get me.

635
00:32:21,482 --> 00:32:23,614
Then you should also know
you're already dead.

636
00:32:23,649 --> 00:32:25,385
We don't do ransoms.

637
00:32:25,420 --> 00:32:27,948
Again, I know. I know.

638
00:32:27,983 --> 00:32:29,950
See, I know a lot, Gertrude.

639
00:32:29,985 --> 00:32:31,886
I really do.

640
00:32:31,921 --> 00:32:34,988
Like the fact that you have
300 million in U.S. dollars

641
00:32:35,023 --> 00:32:37,166
sitting in your personal vault
downstairs.

642
00:32:37,201 --> 00:32:39,234
-The fuck?
-SCROOGE: That's right.

643
00:32:39,269 --> 00:32:42,171
300 million that
the U.S. government

644
00:32:42,206 --> 00:32:45,504
gave Lightstone to quietly
distribute in the Middle East

645
00:32:45,539 --> 00:32:47,341
to all the worst people,

646
00:32:47,376 --> 00:32:51,543
to grease the wheels
and keep that sweet oil flowing.

647
00:32:51,578 --> 00:32:56,009
300 million that-- oops--
disappeared in the fog of war.

648
00:32:56,044 --> 00:32:59,012
Except it didn't really
disappear, did it, Gerty?

649
00:32:59,047 --> 00:33:00,420
'Cause you stole it.

650
00:33:00,455 --> 00:33:01,916
Did you know about this?

651
00:33:01,951 --> 00:33:03,522
SCROOGE:
Man, this family.

652
00:33:03,557 --> 00:33:06,723
This moneygrubbing family.

653
00:33:06,758 --> 00:33:08,560
Clinging desperately
to your wealth,

654
00:33:08,595 --> 00:33:10,859
when your poor employees
don't even have enough coal

655
00:33:10,894 --> 00:33:12,927
to keep Tiny Tim warm.

656
00:33:12,962 --> 00:33:15,897
What is it with you
and all this Christmas shit?

657
00:33:15,932 --> 00:33:17,899
Talk all you want.

658
00:33:17,934 --> 00:33:19,703
You'll never get in the vault.

659
00:33:19,738 --> 00:33:23,036
Oh, oh, oh, because when
you-you hit the panic button,

660
00:33:23,071 --> 00:33:24,873
it reset the combination?

661
00:33:24,908 --> 00:33:28,283
I keep telling you, I know.

662
00:33:29,418 --> 00:33:31,451
♪ ♪

663
00:33:33,488 --> 00:33:36,291
SCROOGE: This is what breaking
into a vault has turned into?

664
00:33:36,326 --> 00:33:40,922
Remember when you just had to
drill holes and blow shit up?

665
00:33:40,957 --> 00:33:42,462
I don't know,
maybe I'm getting old,

666
00:33:42,497 --> 00:33:44,101
but there was something
romantic about that.

667
00:33:44,136 --> 00:33:46,202
CANDY CANE (over radio):
Boss, you copy?

668
00:33:46,237 --> 00:33:48,138
I'm kind of busy here.

669
00:33:48,173 --> 00:33:50,503
You're gonna want to see this.

670
00:33:59,910 --> 00:34:01,712
Maybe he fell.

671
00:34:01,747 --> 00:34:03,252
You rappel down buildings
with him.

672
00:34:03,287 --> 00:34:05,287
You gonna tell me
he just fell out a window?

673
00:34:06,356 --> 00:34:08,323
All right, look lively, gang.

674
00:34:08,358 --> 00:34:10,017
We got a gopher.

675
00:34:25,606 --> 00:34:27,177
LINDA:
You know what?

676
00:34:27,212 --> 00:34:31,148
Um, I think Mr. Bunny
wants to go to sleep.

677
00:34:31,183 --> 00:34:33,106
So, let's tuck him in.

678
00:34:33,141 --> 00:34:34,679
Okay?

679
00:34:35,880 --> 00:34:37,550
It's gonna be okay.

680
00:34:39,785 --> 00:34:41,818
♪ ♪

681
00:34:51,665 --> 00:34:54,028
Hello? Santa?

682
00:34:54,063 --> 00:34:56,030
Are you there?

683
00:34:57,671 --> 00:34:59,704
(panting)

684
00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:03,510
Shit.

685
00:35:05,976 --> 00:35:07,877
(radio crackles)

686
00:35:07,912 --> 00:35:10,451
(over radio): This is
Candy Cane at checkpoint three.

687
00:35:10,486 --> 00:35:12,046
(gasps) Oh, shit.

688
00:35:12,081 --> 00:35:13,817
Shit. Shit. Shit.

689
00:35:13,852 --> 00:35:15,885
(panting)

690
00:35:17,053 --> 00:35:18,921
Video game.

691
00:35:20,155 --> 00:35:21,528
Video game.

692
00:35:21,563 --> 00:35:23,827
Didn't anybody ask
for a bat or a sword

693
00:35:23,862 --> 00:35:26,731
-or Molotov cocktails?
-(door opens)

694
00:35:35,379 --> 00:35:37,038
(whispers):
Wait.

695
00:35:43,552 --> 00:35:45,585
♪ ♪

696
00:35:50,185 --> 00:35:51,921
(grunts)

697
00:35:51,956 --> 00:35:53,758
CHILD'S VOICE (recorded):
Mommy, I love you.

698
00:35:53,793 --> 00:35:54,924
("¿Dónde Está Santa Claus?"
by Toni Stante playing)

699
00:35:54,959 --> 00:35:57,025
Poetry book.

700
00:35:57,060 --> 00:35:59,368
<i>Die Hard</i> on Blu-ray. Fuck!

701
00:35:59,403 --> 00:36:01,095
(grunting)

702
00:36:01,130 --> 00:36:04,835
-♪ Mamacita ♪
-♪<i> Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

703
00:36:04,870 --> 00:36:07,442
-♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
-♪<i> Mamacita</i> ♪

704
00:36:07,477 --> 00:36:09,609
-(grunts, chokes)
-♪<i> Ah-ooh</i> ♪

705
00:36:09,644 --> 00:36:12,040
-♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪
-♪<i> Mamacita, ah-ooh...</i> ♪

706
00:36:12,075 --> 00:36:13,547
-(grunts)
-(gun clicks)

707
00:36:13,582 --> 00:36:15,516
Safety's on, dipshit.

708
00:36:15,551 --> 00:36:17,287
(grunting continues)

709
00:36:17,322 --> 00:36:20,521
-♪ Mamacita ♪
-♪<i> Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

710
00:36:20,556 --> 00:36:22,952
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪

711
00:36:22,987 --> 00:36:24,525
♪<i> Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

712
00:36:24,560 --> 00:36:26,263
♪ I look for him because ♪

713
00:36:26,298 --> 00:36:28,188
Wait. Hang on. Hang on.

714
00:36:28,223 --> 00:36:29,695
♪ It's Christmas Eve... ♪

715
00:36:29,730 --> 00:36:32,126
Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait. Look.

716
00:36:32,161 --> 00:36:33,633
I don't want to kill you.

717
00:36:33,668 --> 00:36:34,964
(chuckles)

718
00:36:34,999 --> 00:36:37,604
(laughing)

719
00:36:37,639 --> 00:36:41,377
Wow, a big fat guy, gray beard.

720
00:36:41,412 --> 00:36:43,280
Eh?

721
00:36:43,942 --> 00:36:46,206
Santa...

722
00:36:46,241 --> 00:36:47,977
I'm gonna rip
your fucking balls off.

723
00:36:48,012 --> 00:36:50,980
(both yelling)

724
00:36:51,015 --> 00:36:52,619
(grunting with effort)

725
00:36:52,654 --> 00:36:55,424
♪ I hope he won't forget
to crack his castanets ♪

726
00:36:55,459 --> 00:36:59,087
♪ And to his reindeer say ♪

727
00:36:59,122 --> 00:37:01,595
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen..." ♪

728
00:37:01,630 --> 00:37:03,465
Oh, shit. (grunts)

729
00:37:03,500 --> 00:37:04,796
(pained grunting)

730
00:37:04,831 --> 00:37:06,798
(machine beeping)

731
00:37:06,833 --> 00:37:09,306
-♪ Mamacita ♪
-♪<i> Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

732
00:37:09,341 --> 00:37:11,506
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪

733
00:37:11,541 --> 00:37:13,266
(screams)

734
00:37:13,301 --> 00:37:16,104
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪

735
00:37:16,139 --> 00:37:17,842
♪<i> Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

736
00:37:17,877 --> 00:37:19,580
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪

737
00:37:19,615 --> 00:37:21,483
♪<i> Christmas Eve</i> ♪

738
00:37:21,518 --> 00:37:24,277
♪ ♪

739
00:37:24,312 --> 00:37:26,015
(grunts fiercely)

740
00:37:26,050 --> 00:37:28,490
(screaming, groaning)

741
00:37:29,724 --> 00:37:30,954
(pained yelling)

742
00:37:30,989 --> 00:37:32,461
♪ I hope he won't forget ♪

743
00:37:32,496 --> 00:37:34,188
♪ To crack his castanets ♪

744
00:37:34,223 --> 00:37:38,027
-(screams, grunts)
-♪ And to his reindeer say ♪

745
00:37:38,062 --> 00:37:41,998
♪ "Oh, Pancho, oh, Vixen,
oh, Pedro, oh, Blitzen ♪

746
00:37:42,033 --> 00:37:45,936
♪ Olé, olé, olé" ♪

747
00:37:45,971 --> 00:37:48,873
-♪ Mamacita ♪
-♪<i> Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

748
00:37:48,908 --> 00:37:51,348
♪ ¿Dónde está Santa Claus? ♪

749
00:37:51,383 --> 00:37:52,547
♪<i> Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

750
00:37:52,582 --> 00:37:54,516
♪ Oh, where is Santa Claus? ♪

751
00:37:54,551 --> 00:37:56,452
♪<i> Mamacita, ah-ooh</i> ♪

752
00:37:56,487 --> 00:37:59,851
-♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
-♪<i> Christmas Eve</i> ♪

753
00:37:59,886 --> 00:38:02,788
♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪

754
00:38:02,823 --> 00:38:04,625
♪<i> Mamacita</i> ♪

755
00:38:04,660 --> 00:38:06,660
-♪ It's Christmas Eve ♪
-♪<i> Mamacita.</i> ♪

756
00:38:06,695 --> 00:38:08,794
-(yells)
-(screaming in pain)

757
00:38:08,829 --> 00:38:10,224
(song ends)

758
00:38:10,259 --> 00:38:12,930
(Frosty screaming hysterically)

759
00:38:16,408 --> 00:38:18,573
(whimpers, growls)

760
00:38:20,544 --> 00:38:22,236
(whimpering)

761
00:38:24,075 --> 00:38:25,613
(gasping)

762
00:38:30,620 --> 00:38:32,620
-(electrical crackling)
-(sputtering)

763
00:38:44,260 --> 00:38:46,403
-(grunts)
-(steam hissing)

764
00:38:46,438 --> 00:38:48,229
(chuckles)

765
00:38:48,264 --> 00:38:50,671
Ah, God.

766
00:38:50,706 --> 00:38:52,299
Whew.

767
00:38:53,368 --> 00:38:56,545
Whew. Whew.

768
00:38:56,580 --> 00:38:58,371
(over radio):
This is Candy Cane checking in.

769
00:38:58,406 --> 00:39:00,274
Compound is clear and secured.

770
00:39:00,309 --> 00:39:02,452
-(radio crackling, beeping)
-(grunting)

771
00:39:02,487 --> 00:39:04,278
SCROOGE: Copy. What's the
status on the Kill Squad?

772
00:39:04,313 --> 00:39:06,115
(coughing)

773
00:39:06,150 --> 00:39:08,051
GINGERBREAD: Kill Squad
won't be here for two hours.

774
00:39:08,086 --> 00:39:10,691
So we're doing good. The outer
seal's already been breached.

775
00:39:10,726 --> 00:39:13,221
Is there a 911 thing on here?

776
00:39:13,256 --> 00:39:15,795
(whimpers) My...

777
00:39:15,830 --> 00:39:17,764
Am I doing that correct?

778
00:39:17,799 --> 00:39:19,194
Hello?

779
00:39:19,229 --> 00:39:21,130
Hello, can anybody hear me?

780
00:39:21,165 --> 00:39:23,605
TRUDY:
Can you hear me, Santa?

781
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:25,398
♪ ♪

782
00:39:25,433 --> 00:39:26,740
Hello?

783
00:39:26,775 --> 00:39:28,236
Santa?

784
00:39:31,439 --> 00:39:33,142
Yeah, this is Santa.

785
00:39:36,114 --> 00:39:38,455
I hope I'm not bothering you.

786
00:39:40,151 --> 00:39:42,756
Daddy said you were
very busy tonight.

787
00:39:44,694 --> 00:39:46,562
I'm...

788
00:39:46,597 --> 00:39:48,795
I'm on a break.

789
00:39:48,830 --> 00:39:50,863
Who-who am I speaking to?

790
00:39:53,362 --> 00:39:55,428
My name is Trudy Lightstone,

791
00:39:55,463 --> 00:39:58,772
and I've been very good
this year.

792
00:39:58,807 --> 00:40:00,675
(grunts) Trudy...

793
00:40:00,710 --> 00:40:02,941
(panting)

794
00:40:02,976 --> 00:40:04,844
Trudy Lightstone.

795
00:40:08,377 --> 00:40:09,948
(chuckles)

796
00:40:13,888 --> 00:40:16,152
Yeah, Trudy.

797
00:40:16,187 --> 00:40:18,627
You're on my nice list.

798
00:40:18,662 --> 00:40:20,827
You've been a very good girl
this year.

799
00:40:22,490 --> 00:40:24,534
Where are you now, Trudy?

800
00:40:26,065 --> 00:40:28,835
TRUDY: I'm in a big room
with all my relatives.

801
00:40:28,870 --> 00:40:32,069
There's two bad men with guns
watching us.

802
00:40:34,843 --> 00:40:36,678
SANTA:
Oh, no. Six left.

803
00:40:36,713 --> 00:40:38,647
TRUDY:
Are you gonna help us, Santa?

804
00:40:40,046 --> 00:40:42,013
Yeah. Of course
I'm gonna help you.

805
00:40:42,048 --> 00:40:44,884
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna get you out of there.

806
00:40:44,919 --> 00:40:48,184
Take all these bad guys
on my naughty list...

807
00:40:49,253 --> 00:40:51,858
I'm gonna take a lump of coal,

808
00:40:51,893 --> 00:40:55,565
each and every one of them,
and shove it straight up...

809
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:56,698
The ass.

810
00:40:59,736 --> 00:41:01,395
Well, I mean, come on, sweetie.

811
00:41:01,430 --> 00:41:04,101
We want to keep you
on the nice list, you know.

812
00:41:05,709 --> 00:41:08,039
Sorry.
Can I say "butthole," then?

813
00:41:09,042 --> 00:41:10,371
I mean, it's borderline.

814
00:41:10,406 --> 00:41:12,142
How about "anus"?

815
00:41:12,177 --> 00:41:16,553
(sighs) Technically, yes,
uh, "anus" is the tech...

816
00:41:16,588 --> 00:41:18,346
Okay, look, uh, Tru...
uh, Trudy.

817
00:41:18,381 --> 00:41:21,052
I got to call for help,
and the phone lines are down.

818
00:41:21,087 --> 00:41:23,659
You probably know this house
better than anybody.

819
00:41:23,694 --> 00:41:25,518
You got any suggestions?

820
00:41:25,553 --> 00:41:27,091
I have an idea.

821
00:41:29,700 --> 00:41:32,096
All right, you're telling me
there's a goddamn Santa Claus

822
00:41:32,131 --> 00:41:33,801
running around here?

823
00:41:37,268 --> 00:41:39,268
Okay, well,
he looks jolly as fuck,

824
00:41:39,303 --> 00:41:40,940
but who the hell is he?

825
00:41:40,975 --> 00:41:42,942
There's no Santa listed
on the employee manifest.

826
00:41:42,977 --> 00:41:44,405
Yeah, there's more.

827
00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:46,044
Frosty hasn't checked in.
I can't reach him.

828
00:41:46,079 --> 00:41:47,947
All right, keep trying.

829
00:41:47,982 --> 00:41:50,587
♪ ♪

830
00:41:50,622 --> 00:41:52,248
All right, it's official.

831
00:41:52,283 --> 00:41:54,118
We got a gopher on the loose,
and he's dangerous.

832
00:41:54,153 --> 00:41:55,416
Watch your backs.

833
00:41:55,451 --> 00:41:57,484
♪ ♪

834
00:42:00,423 --> 00:42:03,094
Al? Al?

835
00:42:09,333 --> 00:42:11,168
Oh, shit.

836
00:42:17,308 --> 00:42:18,978
(clicking)

837
00:42:19,013 --> 00:42:20,815
Oh, shit!

838
00:42:20,850 --> 00:42:23,818
SCROOGE (over radio):
Frosty, what's your status?

839
00:42:27,351 --> 00:42:29,417
Frosty, sound off.

840
00:42:30,420 --> 00:42:33,289
Uh, Frosty?

841
00:42:34,622 --> 00:42:36,160
Is-is that, uh...

842
00:42:36,195 --> 00:42:38,096
is that the naughty guy
I met in the basement?

843
00:42:38,131 --> 00:42:39,966
Your-your friend is dead.

844
00:42:40,001 --> 00:42:43,068
Uh, he got a star in his face,
then his head caught on fire.

845
00:42:43,103 --> 00:42:44,938
It's a long story.

846
00:42:44,973 --> 00:42:47,743
Oh.

847
00:42:47,778 --> 00:42:49,943
Is this... is this our Santy?

848
00:42:49,978 --> 00:42:52,847
Is this our... our Santy Claus?

849
00:42:52,882 --> 00:42:54,343
Yeah, it is.

850
00:42:55,346 --> 00:42:57,181
To whom am I speaking?

851
00:42:57,216 --> 00:42:59,183
Well, for tonight,
I'm Mr. Scrooge.

852
00:42:59,218 --> 00:43:03,121
Now, what is it
that you want exactly, Santa?

853
00:43:03,156 --> 00:43:05,695
I want you to put down
your weapons,

854
00:43:05,730 --> 00:43:08,665
I want you to let
this family go,

855
00:43:08,700 --> 00:43:10,524
and then I want to find
my reindeer,

856
00:43:10,559 --> 00:43:12,702
and I want to continue
delivering my presents.

857
00:43:15,630 --> 00:43:17,267
Are you fucking with me?

858
00:43:17,302 --> 00:43:19,632
All right, who the hell
are you really, huh?

859
00:43:19,667 --> 00:43:22,173
Some security guard who's
watched too many action flicks?

860
00:43:22,208 --> 00:43:24,780
Some loser ex-cop
stuck in a mall

861
00:43:24,815 --> 00:43:26,815
playing dress-up with fat kids
pissing on your lap?

862
00:43:26,850 --> 00:43:28,344
Stop me when I get it right.

863
00:43:28,379 --> 00:43:30,445
It's a little more complicated
than that.

864
00:43:30,480 --> 00:43:32,216
Not to me, it's not.

865
00:43:32,251 --> 00:43:34,218
'Cause I want to make it
my personal mission,

866
00:43:34,253 --> 00:43:38,651
my holiday to-do list,
to find you and to end you

867
00:43:38,686 --> 00:43:42,226
and to wipe my ass with you
and this whole fucking holiday.

868
00:43:42,261 --> 00:43:44,899
That's what I want
for Christmas, Santa.

869
00:43:44,934 --> 00:43:49,068
That is a terrible thing
to want for Christmas.

870
00:43:49,103 --> 00:43:52,566
But maybe you and I should
discuss that in person.

871
00:43:53,943 --> 00:43:56,504
Santa Claus is coming to town.

872
00:43:58,277 --> 00:44:00,013
(sighs)

873
00:44:00,048 --> 00:44:02,081
(trickling)

874
00:44:08,023 --> 00:44:09,352
Shit.

875
00:44:19,397 --> 00:44:20,770
All right, who did you hire

876
00:44:20,805 --> 00:44:23,333
to play Santa at
your Christmas party, huh?

877
00:44:23,368 --> 00:44:25,401
-(gasping, coughing)
-I said, who's playing Santa

878
00:44:25,436 --> 00:44:26,941
at your fucked-up
Christmas party?

879
00:44:26,976 --> 00:44:29,878
(gasping, straining):
I didn't hire a Santa.

880
00:44:29,913 --> 00:44:32,573
I never have a Santa.
It's tacky.

881
00:44:32,608 --> 00:44:34,047
SCROOGE:
So, who is he?

882
00:44:34,082 --> 00:44:36,852
♪ Oh, what fun
it is to ride... ♪

883
00:44:36,887 --> 00:44:39,679
Huh? Who is he?

884
00:44:39,714 --> 00:44:41,384
Somebody better start talking,

885
00:44:41,419 --> 00:44:44,453
or I'm gonna bash
her brains in with this...

886
00:44:44,488 --> 00:44:48,732
Damn, Gertrude. You really got
a thing for nutcrackers, huh?

887
00:44:50,230 --> 00:44:54,265
So, I'm gonna torture
everyone in your family

888
00:44:54,300 --> 00:44:57,103
until you tell me who's
running around your mansion

889
00:44:57,138 --> 00:44:59,809
playing Santa
and fucking with my shit.

890
00:44:59,844 --> 00:45:01,811
And who should I pick first?

891
00:45:01,846 --> 00:45:03,307
Should I go by age?

892
00:45:03,342 --> 00:45:04,913
-(Trudy whimpers)
-LINDA: Shh.

893
00:45:04,948 --> 00:45:06,739
Or should I go by IQ?

894
00:45:06,774 --> 00:45:10,083
Pick Jason.
He's my mom's favorite.

895
00:45:10,118 --> 00:45:12,118
-Yep. Him.
-The one in the sweater.

896
00:45:12,153 --> 00:45:14,582
All right.
Jason Lightstone it is.

897
00:45:14,617 --> 00:45:15,924
-The number one son.
-No.

898
00:45:15,959 --> 00:45:17,288
Wait, wait, wait.
No, we don't need...

899
00:45:17,323 --> 00:45:18,828
We don't need to do that.
No, it's okay.

900
00:45:18,863 --> 00:45:20,797
No. No, no, no.
We don't need to do this.

901
00:45:20,832 --> 00:45:22,062
No. No, no, no, no.

902
00:45:22,097 --> 00:45:23,657
Don't, don't, don't.

903
00:45:23,692 --> 00:45:26,066
-No, don't... Put it...
Don't... No. -(muttering)

904
00:45:26,101 --> 00:45:28,068
-No, no, no, no. No, no.
-Give me this fucking...

905
00:45:28,103 --> 00:45:31,104
-(Jason whimpers, screams)
-(snaps)

906
00:45:31,139 --> 00:45:32,732
-(grunts)
-(groaning)

907
00:45:32,767 --> 00:45:34,844
-(whimpering gasp)
-(screams)

908
00:45:34,879 --> 00:45:37,077
(groaning)

909
00:45:37,112 --> 00:45:39,948
I'm telling you,
no one hired a Santa.

910
00:45:39,983 --> 00:45:41,477
All right, all right,
all right. You're right.

911
00:45:41,512 --> 00:45:42,511
You're right.
Let's stop it. Let's stop it.

912
00:45:42,546 --> 00:45:44,678
What are we doing here? Come on.

913
00:45:44,713 --> 00:45:47,780
What are we, amateurs?
We're half-assing this.

914
00:45:47,815 --> 00:45:50,717
Come on. It's not called
a finger cracker.

915
00:45:51,995 --> 00:45:53,929
Okay, Candy Cane.

916
00:45:53,964 --> 00:45:55,359
Stick one of his bozaks
in there.

917
00:45:55,394 --> 00:45:56,657
I'm not touching his balls.

918
00:45:56,692 --> 00:45:58,296
What, are you a princess
all of a sudden?

919
00:45:58,331 --> 00:46:00,100
I've seen you
scoop out brains before.

920
00:46:00,135 --> 00:46:01,365
CANDY CANE: You want me
to scoop his brains out,

921
00:46:01,400 --> 00:46:02,795
I'll scoop his brains out
right now,

922
00:46:02,830 --> 00:46:04,038
but I'm not touching his junk.

923
00:46:04,073 --> 00:46:05,468
I don't care who does it.

924
00:46:05,503 --> 00:46:07,041
I better be looking
at flat balls,

925
00:46:07,076 --> 00:46:08,339
like, in three seconds.

926
00:46:08,374 --> 00:46:10,803
I'll do it.

927
00:46:10,838 --> 00:46:12,178
Krampus. Perfect.

928
00:46:12,213 --> 00:46:13,674
Oh, not that guy. Not that guy.

929
00:46:13,709 --> 00:46:15,049
That's what I love
about sociopaths.

930
00:46:15,084 --> 00:46:16,380
Always up for trying new things.

931
00:46:16,415 --> 00:46:17,810
You don't need to do this, okay?

932
00:46:17,845 --> 00:46:19,713
No, it's all right.
Um... Oh, no.

933
00:46:19,748 --> 00:46:22,155
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

934
00:46:22,190 --> 00:46:24,553
(panting):
Oh, God. Oh, my God.

935
00:46:24,588 --> 00:46:26,291
(Jason whimpers)

936
00:46:26,326 --> 00:46:27,787
KRAMPUS:
Put your nuts in.

937
00:46:27,822 --> 00:46:29,294
Yummy, yummy.

938
00:46:29,329 --> 00:46:31,967
Stop hurting my daddy...

939
00:46:32,002 --> 00:46:34,266
or Santa will get mad.

940
00:46:35,269 --> 00:46:37,533
Ah, what a cutie.

941
00:46:37,568 --> 00:46:39,634
So, what do we know
about Santa, little one?

942
00:46:39,669 --> 00:46:41,306
She doesn't know anything
about Santa.

943
00:46:41,341 --> 00:46:42,373
(groans)

944
00:46:42,408 --> 00:46:44,045
He wasn't asking you.

945
00:46:44,080 --> 00:46:46,575
She's playing make-believe.

946
00:46:46,610 --> 00:46:48,918
She's pretending
to talk to Santa.

947
00:46:48,953 --> 00:46:50,920
It's not pretend.
Santa's my friend,

948
00:46:50,955 --> 00:46:52,548
and he said
he's going to save us.

949
00:46:52,583 --> 00:46:53,890
JASON:
No.

950
00:46:53,925 --> 00:46:56,222
-And beat you up.
-SCROOGE: Oh, is he?

951
00:46:56,257 --> 00:46:58,653
I bet he'd come out of hiding
if you asked him to, huh?

952
00:46:58,688 --> 00:47:00,391
What do you say you come with me

953
00:47:00,426 --> 00:47:02,426
-and we play a little game
with him, huh? -No, no, no.

954
00:47:02,461 --> 00:47:03,933
Trudy, come on.
Tell him the truth now.

955
00:47:03,968 --> 00:47:05,660
-You aren't talking to Santa.
-Yes, I am.

956
00:47:05,695 --> 00:47:07,167
No, you're not. Come on, now.

957
00:47:07,202 --> 00:47:09,664
-Yes, I am. -Damn it, Trudy,
Santa isn't real!

958
00:47:09,699 --> 00:47:11,006
(gasps)

959
00:47:11,041 --> 00:47:12,304
(sighs)

960
00:47:15,243 --> 00:47:17,947
♪ ♪

961
00:47:17,982 --> 00:47:19,707
I'm sorry, honey.

962
00:47:20,908 --> 00:47:22,875
Santa's just a thing
adults tell kids

963
00:47:22,910 --> 00:47:24,954
to make them feel better, okay?

964
00:47:27,222 --> 00:47:29,288
Your mommy and I
give you the presents,

965
00:47:29,323 --> 00:47:31,290
and we say they're from Santa.

966
00:47:31,325 --> 00:47:32,522
(Jason sighs)

967
00:47:32,557 --> 00:47:34,029
He's not coming to save us.

968
00:47:34,064 --> 00:47:36,262
He doesn't exist.

969
00:47:36,297 --> 00:47:38,594
It's all made-up.

970
00:47:40,268 --> 00:47:42,235
-Really?
-SCROOGE: Aw.

971
00:47:42,270 --> 00:47:45,040
What a way to find out
that there's no Santa.

972
00:47:45,075 --> 00:47:47,075
Hey, let's come back Easter
and ruin the Easter Bunny

973
00:47:47,110 --> 00:47:49,044
-for her, too, huh?
-(Krampus chuckling)

974
00:47:49,079 --> 00:47:50,573
-LINDA: Trudy!
-Come back here!

975
00:47:50,608 --> 00:47:52,113
-Stop her!
-Trudy! -Hey!

976
00:47:52,148 --> 00:47:53,477
CANDY CANE:
You idiots, stay at your posts.

977
00:47:53,512 --> 00:47:54,808
LINDA:
Trudy!

978
00:47:54,843 --> 00:47:57,019
I'll find this little brat.

979
00:47:59,991 --> 00:48:02,024
(panting)

980
00:48:05,788 --> 00:48:07,821
♪ ♪

981
00:48:10,694 --> 00:48:12,760
(sighs)

982
00:48:19,835 --> 00:48:22,473
(song playing with eerie,
indistinct chanted vocal)

983
00:48:37,688 --> 00:48:39,721
(song continues with eerie,
indistinct chanted vocal)

984
00:48:46,730 --> 00:48:48,796
(shuddering breaths)

985
00:48:55,574 --> 00:48:57,805
(short, pained breaths)

986
00:49:03,384 --> 00:49:04,680
Okay.

987
00:49:13,691 --> 00:49:16,527
(panting)

988
00:49:19,664 --> 00:49:21,136
(grunts)

989
00:49:21,171 --> 00:49:22,500
(exhales)

990
00:49:23,437 --> 00:49:25,239
(song ends)

991
00:49:25,274 --> 00:49:26,999
(panting)

992
00:49:27,034 --> 00:49:29,078
(people screaming, shouting)

993
00:49:33,414 --> 00:49:36,382
TRUDY (over radio):
Santa. Santa.

994
00:49:36,417 --> 00:49:38,252
-Santa!
-(gasps)

995
00:49:38,287 --> 00:49:39,814
(panting)

996
00:49:39,849 --> 00:49:41,684
This is Trudy.

997
00:49:42,687 --> 00:49:45,688
-Are you okay, Santa?
-(breathing heavily, grunting)

998
00:49:47,758 --> 00:49:49,230
Hi. Hey.

999
00:49:49,265 --> 00:49:51,023
Are you okay?

1000
00:49:51,058 --> 00:49:53,102
I'm good. Uh...

1001
00:49:53,137 --> 00:49:55,335
I was just wrapping
something up.

1002
00:49:55,370 --> 00:49:57,568
I ran away and hid in the attic.

1003
00:49:57,603 --> 00:50:00,901
Okay. If you're safe...

1004
00:50:00,936 --> 00:50:03,904
uh, just stay there
and, uh, stay quiet, all right?

1005
00:50:03,939 --> 00:50:08,711
Okay. I can set up booby traps,
like in<i> Home Alone.</i>

1006
00:50:08,746 --> 00:50:10,251
Okay, I don't know
what that means,

1007
00:50:10,286 --> 00:50:11,912
but, uh, yeah, do that.

1008
00:50:11,947 --> 00:50:13,815
Just do it quietly.

1009
00:50:15,291 --> 00:50:17,258
Are you really Santa?

1010
00:50:17,293 --> 00:50:19,326
(chuckling)

1011
00:50:21,088 --> 00:50:23,099
Of course I am, sweetheart.

1012
00:50:24,234 --> 00:50:26,795
My daddy says
there isn't any Santa.

1013
00:50:28,601 --> 00:50:31,569
He says parents just tell
their kids that Santa's real

1014
00:50:31,604 --> 00:50:33,208
to make them feel better.

1015
00:50:33,243 --> 00:50:36,035
He said they give us presents

1016
00:50:36,070 --> 00:50:38,411
and say they're from Santa.

1017
00:50:38,446 --> 00:50:40,578
Yeah.

1018
00:50:40,613 --> 00:50:42,877
Yeah, a lot of parents say that.

1019
00:50:42,912 --> 00:50:46,683
But I still bring presents
to kids that need me.

1020
00:50:48,082 --> 00:50:50,192
Kids who really believe.

1021
00:50:51,756 --> 00:50:54,625
How do you know
who really needs you?

1022
00:50:54,660 --> 00:50:56,891
Christmas magic.

1023
00:50:56,926 --> 00:50:58,992
I'm not really sure
how it works.

1024
00:50:59,027 --> 00:51:00,202
(chuckles)

1025
00:51:06,804 --> 00:51:09,145
But, uh...

1026
00:51:09,180 --> 00:51:11,345
(sighs)

1027
00:51:11,380 --> 00:51:14,480
I remember, um...

1028
00:51:14,515 --> 00:51:16,416
when Trudy Lightstone
wrote to me.

1029
00:51:16,451 --> 00:51:18,913
She must have been
about six years old,

1030
00:51:18,948 --> 00:51:22,686
and she said that
she felt lonely sometimes.

1031
00:51:22,721 --> 00:51:24,985
She missed having a best friend.

1032
00:51:25,020 --> 00:51:26,426
And so I brought her

1033
00:51:26,461 --> 00:51:28,263
a beautiful little
stuffed rabbit.

1034
00:51:28,298 --> 00:51:29,693
Mr. Bunny.

1035
00:51:29,728 --> 00:51:31,662
And then I remember
the next year,

1036
00:51:31,697 --> 00:51:33,829
and you said you had
this amazing dream

1037
00:51:33,864 --> 00:51:37,635
and that, afterwards,
all you wanted to do was...

1038
00:51:37,670 --> 00:51:39,175
To fly!

1039
00:51:39,210 --> 00:51:41,243
(laughing):
To fly. To fly.

1040
00:51:42,807 --> 00:51:47,106
I mean, Santa might have
some magic, but...

1041
00:51:47,141 --> 00:51:50,747
making a little girl fly?

1042
00:51:53,015 --> 00:51:57,325
But giving you a kite,

1043
00:51:57,360 --> 00:52:00,658
floating just beneath
the clouds,

1044
00:52:00,693 --> 00:52:03,463
well, it's about
as good as it gets.

1045
00:52:03,498 --> 00:52:05,300
I knew it.

1046
00:52:05,335 --> 00:52:07,533
I knew you were real, Santa.

1047
00:52:10,439 --> 00:52:13,209
Don't be too hard
on your parents, all right?

1048
00:52:15,378 --> 00:52:17,906
Grown-ups have a hard time
believing things.

1049
00:52:18,942 --> 00:52:21,316
Can you use your Christmas magic

1050
00:52:21,351 --> 00:52:23,483
to make them
love each other again?

1051
00:52:23,518 --> 00:52:25,914
I wish I had that kind of power.

1052
00:52:26,917 --> 00:52:30,556
Mrs. Claus and I have been
going on year, uh,

1053
00:52:30,591 --> 00:52:32,723
1,100, and...

1054
00:52:33,792 --> 00:52:36,364
Grown-up relationships
are complicated.

1055
00:52:37,400 --> 00:52:39,664
It takes work.

1056
00:52:39,699 --> 00:52:41,567
A lot of work.

1057
00:52:43,967 --> 00:52:46,198
Do you still love her?

1058
00:52:46,233 --> 00:52:48,035
Yeah, I do.

1059
00:52:49,236 --> 00:52:52,413
And sometimes, even if you want
to make somebody happy...

1060
00:52:53,944 --> 00:52:56,076
...the magic just goes away.

1061
00:52:58,113 --> 00:53:00,520
Hey.

1062
00:53:00,555 --> 00:53:02,214
I've got an idea.

1063
00:53:02,249 --> 00:53:03,787
This will be fun.

1064
00:53:05,120 --> 00:53:08,396
Why don't you guys
open your presents?

1065
00:53:08,431 --> 00:53:12,763
I want to see what you
rich assholes get each other.

1066
00:53:12,798 --> 00:53:18,472
And some of you might not
make it till tomorrow morning,

1067
00:53:18,507 --> 00:53:21,277
so this could be
your only chance.

1068
00:53:22,269 --> 00:53:23,807
Come on.

1069
00:53:23,842 --> 00:53:26,315
Where's the Christmas spirit?

1070
00:53:27,978 --> 00:53:30,110
Uh...

1071
00:53:31,179 --> 00:53:35,423
Gertrude, uh, I got you
something pretty special.

1072
00:53:35,458 --> 00:53:36,820
KRAMPUS:
Did you hear that, Gertrude?

1073
00:53:36,855 --> 00:53:38,789
He got you something amazing.

1074
00:53:38,824 --> 00:53:41,726
(giggling excitedly):
Oh, what could it be?

1075
00:53:41,761 --> 00:53:43,959
Oh, my God, this is exciting.

1076
00:53:43,994 --> 00:53:46,225
Mom.

1077
00:53:46,260 --> 00:53:47,930
Can I call you Mom?

1078
00:53:49,164 --> 00:53:50,669
Mrs. Lightstone.

1079
00:53:52,706 --> 00:53:55,971
Okay, so in the business,
they call this...

1080
00:53:56,974 --> 00:53:58,281
...a pitch deck.

1081
00:53:59,449 --> 00:54:00,514
-Pitch deck.
-MORGAN: Yeah.

1082
00:54:00,549 --> 00:54:02,241
It's called<i> Explosive Force.</i>

1083
00:54:02,276 --> 00:54:03,946
Starring me.

1084
00:54:03,981 --> 00:54:05,519
And if you look in the back,

1085
00:54:05,554 --> 00:54:09,182
there are the financial numbers.

1086
00:54:09,217 --> 00:54:12,394
I'm kind of a big deal in Asia.

1087
00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:16,156
Parts of Asia, at least.

1088
00:54:16,191 --> 00:54:18,257
We were in parts of Asia once,
and, like,

1089
00:54:18,292 --> 00:54:19,929
we couldn't even go
to a restaurant.

1090
00:54:19,964 --> 00:54:23,295
Ah, what is there
a better gift than...

1091
00:54:23,330 --> 00:54:26,540
gift of a golden opportunity?

1092
00:54:28,203 --> 00:54:30,203
KRAMPUS (laughing):
Oh, no.

1093
00:54:30,238 --> 00:54:31,512
(laughing)

1094
00:54:31,547 --> 00:54:34,108
Granny doesn't like it. (laughs)

1095
00:54:34,143 --> 00:54:36,418
Mother, I got you something
really special.

1096
00:54:42,987 --> 00:54:45,526
It's a sentimental photo
of the day I was born.

1097
00:54:45,561 --> 00:54:47,627
I remember.

1098
00:54:47,662 --> 00:54:49,057
I was there.

1099
00:54:49,092 --> 00:54:51,125
KRAMPUS:
She doesn't give a shit.

1100
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:53,699
(laughing)

1101
00:54:53,734 --> 00:54:55,327
-Swing and miss again!
-(glass shatters)

1102
00:54:55,362 --> 00:54:56,702
This is so fun.

1103
00:54:56,737 --> 00:54:58,000
ALVA:
Mommy, how about another one?

1104
00:54:58,035 --> 00:54:59,639
I got you a lot of good things.

1105
00:54:59,674 --> 00:55:01,674
-I'll grab one.
-Alva, Alva, sit down.

1106
00:55:01,709 --> 00:55:03,379
You've already given me one.
It's...

1107
00:55:03,414 --> 00:55:04,677
It's Jason's turn.

1108
00:55:04,712 --> 00:55:06,140
JASON:
Uh...

1109
00:55:06,175 --> 00:55:09,748
I th... I-I think
I left it in the car.

1110
00:55:09,783 --> 00:55:11,849
No, I-I saw you put one
under the tree earlier.

1111
00:55:11,884 --> 00:55:14,313
-No. It's in the...
-Yeah, I did.

1112
00:55:14,348 --> 00:55:17,426
I could've sworn.
You know what, it's, uh...

1113
00:55:17,461 --> 00:55:19,527
Y-You don't... you don't...
you don't... you...

1114
00:55:19,562 --> 00:55:21,826
It's this one, right?
Yeah, I got you, bro.

1115
00:55:21,861 --> 00:55:23,355
Come on.

1116
00:55:23,390 --> 00:55:25,060
(panting quietly)

1117
00:55:25,095 --> 00:55:27,128
Thank you.

1118
00:55:28,197 --> 00:55:30,439
It's my favorite whiskey.

1119
00:55:30,474 --> 00:55:33,068
You can skip the note.

1120
00:55:40,880 --> 00:55:42,913
♪ ♪

1121
00:55:52,122 --> 00:55:54,155
(sighs)

1122
00:55:56,500 --> 00:55:58,159
Thank you, Jason.

1123
00:56:03,672 --> 00:56:05,969
What's the card say?

1124
00:56:06,004 --> 00:56:08,939
I think I'll just keep that
between Jason and I.

1125
00:56:08,974 --> 00:56:12,910
No one really needs to know.
Right, Jason?

1126
00:56:15,486 --> 00:56:17,112
Right.

1127
00:56:18,313 --> 00:56:20,489
TRUDY:<i> Did you ever have</i>
<i>a mommy and daddy?</i>

1128
00:56:20,524 --> 00:56:22,491
(grunts)

1129
00:56:22,526 --> 00:56:24,559
(chuckling): Yeah, of course
I had a mommy and daddy.

1130
00:56:24,594 --> 00:56:27,925
I wasn't...
I wasn't always Santa Claus.

1131
00:56:28,961 --> 00:56:31,027
I had a life before this.

1132
00:56:32,195 --> 00:56:34,668
A long, long, long time ago.

1133
00:56:39,103 --> 00:56:41,972
They used to call me, uh...

1134
00:56:42,007 --> 00:56:44,139
Nicomund.

1135
00:56:44,174 --> 00:56:46,174
<i>(flames rumbling)</i>

1136
00:56:46,209 --> 00:56:47,813
(panting)

1137
00:56:47,848 --> 00:56:49,342
SANTA:
<i>Nicomund the Red.</i>

1138
00:56:49,377 --> 00:56:51,113
(people yelling)

1139
00:56:51,148 --> 00:56:53,786
TRUDY:
<i>You had a different job then?</i>

1140
00:56:53,821 --> 00:56:56,492
SANTA:
<i>Yeah, you could say that.</i>

1141
00:56:56,527 --> 00:56:58,318
<i>I was a warrior.</i>

1142
00:56:58,353 --> 00:57:00,661
<i>A raider. A thief.</i>

1143
00:57:00,696 --> 00:57:04,423
-(man screams)
<i>-And if somebody got in my way,</i>

1144
00:57:04,458 --> 00:57:05,996
<i>me and Skullcrusher would...</i>

1145
00:57:06,031 --> 00:57:07,503
TRUDY:
<i>Who's Skullcrusher?</i>

1146
00:57:08,495 --> 00:57:11,639
Skullcrusher's my, uh...

1147
00:57:11,674 --> 00:57:14,301
my hammer.

1148
00:57:14,336 --> 00:57:16,611
My favorite hammer.

1149
00:57:16,646 --> 00:57:19,042
I was a surgeon with that thing.

1150
00:57:19,077 --> 00:57:21,374
Used to be able to take
three heads, line 'em up...

1151
00:57:21,409 --> 00:57:22,881
(makes thudding sound)

1152
00:57:22,916 --> 00:57:25,620
But why?

1153
00:57:25,655 --> 00:57:27,182
What?

1154
00:57:27,217 --> 00:57:29,525
Why'd you do those things?

1155
00:57:31,694 --> 00:57:33,562
Because I was mean.

1156
00:57:35,027 --> 00:57:36,928
And I was greedy.

1157
00:57:38,932 --> 00:57:41,900
And I wanted gold, jewels.

1158
00:57:41,935 --> 00:57:44,331
Yeah, I mean, if there was
a naughty list back then,

1159
00:57:44,366 --> 00:57:46,366
I'd be top dog.

1160
00:57:48,073 --> 00:57:50,007
Well, maybe...

1161
00:57:51,010 --> 00:57:52,405
What?

1162
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:54,407
Maybe all those bad things
you used to do...

1163
00:57:55,751 --> 00:57:58,620
...maybe you can use them
to do good things instead.

1164
00:57:59,623 --> 00:58:01,986
To help.

1165
00:58:02,021 --> 00:58:03,856
What do you mean?

1166
00:58:03,891 --> 00:58:08,322
Mr. Bunny, he wasn't just a toy.

1167
00:58:08,357 --> 00:58:11,600
That night, you gave me
what I wished for.

1168
00:58:11,635 --> 00:58:13,459
A best friend.

1169
00:58:14,528 --> 00:58:17,265
'Cause you're good and kind.

1170
00:58:17,300 --> 00:58:20,741
And you mean more than just
the presents you bring.

1171
00:58:20,776 --> 00:58:23,370
That's why I believe in you,
Santa.

1172
00:58:23,405 --> 00:58:25,647
That's why I believe.

1173
00:58:27,079 --> 00:58:29,145
(exhaling sharply)

1174
00:58:31,380 --> 00:58:32,984
Thank you.

1175
00:58:34,988 --> 00:58:38,924
You stay hidden, Trudy,
till I come get you.

1176
00:58:38,959 --> 00:58:40,893
Stay safe.

1177
00:58:42,094 --> 00:58:44,699
SCROOGE: All right,
we got satellite confirmation.

1178
00:58:44,734 --> 00:58:46,866
Extraction team's on the go.

1179
00:58:46,901 --> 00:58:49,198
ETA: 30 minutes.

1180
00:58:49,233 --> 00:58:50,771
We're on schedule.

1181
00:58:50,806 --> 00:58:52,300
Everything's good.

1182
00:58:52,335 --> 00:58:53,807
-(engines revving)
-THORP: All right, fellas.

1183
00:58:53,842 --> 00:58:55,303
Look alive, look alive.

1184
00:58:55,338 --> 00:58:57,239
You all know the plan,

1185
00:58:57,274 --> 00:59:00,715
and I like my operations
like I like to fuck:

1186
00:59:00,750 --> 00:59:03,410
hard and fast
with minimal cleanup.

1187
00:59:03,445 --> 00:59:07,887
Now, some idiot gets
in your way, what do you do?

1188
00:59:07,922 --> 00:59:09,955
ALL:
Fuck their shit up right!

1189
00:59:09,990 --> 00:59:11,594
Damn right.

1190
00:59:12,586 --> 00:59:14,960
-Time to lube up.
-(engines revving)

1191
00:59:16,359 --> 00:59:18,766
Let's go, motherfuckers!
Let's go!

1192
00:59:24,939 --> 00:59:26,972
(whispers):
This fucking family.

1193
00:59:46,554 --> 00:59:48,587
MALE VOICE (recorded):
Ho, ho, ho, ho.

1194
00:59:48,622 --> 00:59:50,325
-(gasps)
-Merry Christmas.

1195
00:59:50,360 --> 00:59:51,667
Happy holidays.

1196
00:59:51,702 --> 00:59:52,800
Traitor.

1197
00:59:52,835 --> 00:59:54,362
(grunts)

1198
00:59:54,397 --> 00:59:56,364
I got him in the east wing.

1199
00:59:56,399 --> 00:59:58,707
SCROOGE: All right,
we're on our way. Hold him.

1200
00:59:58,742 --> 01:00:00,137
(grunting, panting)

1201
01:00:00,172 --> 01:00:02,601
(yells)

1202
01:00:02,636 --> 01:00:03,910
(gasps)

1203
01:00:07,718 --> 01:00:09,751
(both grunting)

1204
01:00:12,085 --> 01:00:13,887
Step aside.

1205
01:00:18,586 --> 01:00:20,729
-(gunshot)
-(whooshing)

1206
01:00:23,195 --> 01:00:25,228
♪ ♪

1207
01:00:27,771 --> 01:00:30,464
SCROOGE (in other room):
Now, how did this tired, old,

1208
01:00:30,499 --> 01:00:33,038
fat piece of shit
get the drop on us?

1209
01:00:33,073 --> 01:00:34,633
GINGERBREAD:
I don't know.

1210
01:00:34,668 --> 01:00:36,635
CANDY CANE:
He's not even armed.

1211
01:00:36,670 --> 01:00:38,912
This bag is the only thing
he had on him.

1212
01:00:38,947 --> 01:00:40,210
SCROOGE:
What's in there?

1213
01:00:41,180 --> 01:00:42,949
Can't see anything.

1214
01:00:47,285 --> 01:00:48,614
SCROOGE:
Here, give it to me.

1215
01:00:59,770 --> 01:01:02,364
What kind of moron...

1216
01:01:02,399 --> 01:01:04,432
carries a chess set with him?

1217
01:01:08,240 --> 01:01:09,877
What the fuck?

1218
01:01:09,912 --> 01:01:12,275
Doesn't make any sense.
Look at all this shit.

1219
01:01:12,310 --> 01:01:14,277
(thuds, strings twang)

1220
01:01:14,312 --> 01:01:16,576
(chuckling)

1221
01:01:19,581 --> 01:01:22,351
So, you're gonna tell us what's
the gimmick with the bag?

1222
01:01:22,386 --> 01:01:24,122
It's magic.

1223
01:01:24,157 --> 01:01:26,828
You put your hand in,
out comes a present.

1224
01:01:28,799 --> 01:01:31,261
I don't really understand
how it works, either.

1225
01:01:32,726 --> 01:01:35,771
So, you're Mr. Scrooge.

1226
01:01:35,806 --> 01:01:37,729
That's right.

1227
01:01:37,764 --> 01:01:39,467
But who are you?

1228
01:01:39,502 --> 01:01:41,568
Weihnachtsmann.

1229
01:01:43,077 --> 01:01:44,747
Julenissen.

1230
01:01:45,849 --> 01:01:47,750
Shèngdàn Laorén.

1231
01:01:48,775 --> 01:01:51,787
Babbo Natale, Père Noel,
Kris Kringle.

1232
01:01:51,822 --> 01:01:54,416
Jolly old Saint Nick.

1233
01:01:54,451 --> 01:01:57,254
People call me a lot of things.

1234
01:01:58,290 --> 01:02:00,796
SCROOGE:
Ha, ha, ha. Very funny.

1235
01:02:00,831 --> 01:02:03,260
Or should I say, "Ho, ho, ho"?

1236
01:02:03,295 --> 01:02:06,725
If you're Santa,
where's your reindeer?

1237
01:02:06,760 --> 01:02:08,760
They were on the roof

1238
01:02:08,795 --> 01:02:11,301
until that guy I turned
into an ice kebab just...

1239
01:02:11,336 --> 01:02:13,842
(Santa imitates rapid gunfire)

1240
01:02:13,877 --> 01:02:15,338
You don't believe me?

1241
01:02:15,373 --> 01:02:16,768
Go check.

1242
01:02:16,803 --> 01:02:19,474
Prancer left
a tasty log up there.

1243
01:02:19,509 --> 01:02:21,278
SCROOGE:
This fucking guy.

1244
01:02:21,313 --> 01:02:23,148
You don't think...

1245
01:02:23,183 --> 01:02:26,118
Now, I know you're an idiot,
but don't be an idiot out loud.

1246
01:02:26,153 --> 01:02:28,186
Come on,
he's just in Santy Claus

1247
01:02:28,221 --> 01:02:30,188
with a fucking trick bag.

1248
01:02:30,223 --> 01:02:32,256
SANTA:
Oh, no!

1249
01:02:32,291 --> 01:02:33,994
That bag was full
of kids' dreams!

1250
01:02:34,029 --> 01:02:35,996
SCROOGE:
Oh, come on.

1251
01:02:36,031 --> 01:02:38,163
Everybody knows that
Christmas dreams are bullshit.

1252
01:02:39,166 --> 01:02:41,364
My father used to make
a big deal out of it

1253
01:02:41,399 --> 01:02:43,366
every Christmas.

1254
01:02:43,401 --> 01:02:45,599
Every freaking Christmas
with the presents

1255
01:02:45,634 --> 01:02:47,876
and the candy
and the decorations

1256
01:02:47,911 --> 01:02:51,374
and the Christmas caroling
and all that bullshit.

1257
01:02:52,883 --> 01:02:55,180
And then when I was...

1258
01:02:55,215 --> 01:02:58,711
I don't know, ten, 11,

1259
01:02:58,746 --> 01:03:00,647
he got laid off,
and that Christmas,

1260
01:03:00,682 --> 01:03:02,022
couldn't even afford a tree.

1261
01:03:02,057 --> 01:03:03,716
No Christmas dinner, no gifts.

1262
01:03:03,751 --> 01:03:06,026
Nothing, nada,<i> culo,</i> dick.

1263
01:03:07,029 --> 01:03:08,490
But our neighbors...

1264
01:03:08,525 --> 01:03:10,327
our neighbors,
oh, they had it all.

1265
01:03:10,362 --> 01:03:12,065
I could see
all that yuletide cheer

1266
01:03:12,100 --> 01:03:14,727
through their window mocking me.

1267
01:03:14,762 --> 01:03:18,632
So Christmas Eve
rolls around, and...

1268
01:03:18,667 --> 01:03:21,701
I waited for everybody
to go to bed.

1269
01:03:21,736 --> 01:03:24,913
And then I snuck in there
to take it all.

1270
01:03:26,180 --> 01:03:28,543
Only problem was that
the gramps got up to take a piss

1271
01:03:28,578 --> 01:03:30,809
and the two of us scared
the shit out of each other.

1272
01:03:30,844 --> 01:03:34,153
And, um, he fell down the stairs

1273
01:03:34,188 --> 01:03:38,553
and-and broke his neck,
and he died in the hospital.

1274
01:03:38,588 --> 01:03:40,093
Everybody thought that I did it,

1275
01:03:40,128 --> 01:03:41,721
and every time
I tried to tell them,

1276
01:03:41,756 --> 01:03:43,866
I tried to tell them that...

1277
01:03:45,694 --> 01:03:47,903
Anyway, maybe I did do it.

1278
01:03:47,938 --> 01:03:49,938
Maybe I did push him.

1279
01:03:49,973 --> 01:03:51,940
Poor old fucker.

1280
01:03:51,975 --> 01:03:55,273
So, you see,
Christmas ruined my life.

1281
01:03:55,308 --> 01:03:56,868
Okay? But you know what?

1282
01:03:56,903 --> 01:03:58,342
It set me on the path

1283
01:03:58,377 --> 01:04:00,377
and made me the great man
that I am today.

1284
01:04:00,412 --> 01:04:02,214
I'm sorry, Jimmy.

1285
01:04:03,217 --> 01:04:04,612
I really am.

1286
01:04:05,648 --> 01:04:07,681
But I do gifts.
I do Christmas cheer.

1287
01:04:07,716 --> 01:04:09,925
I don't get involved
in people's lives.

1288
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:13,588
Oh, yeah? Yeah, well,
maybe you fucking should!

1289
01:04:18,232 --> 01:04:21,398
Um, how did he know your name?

1290
01:04:21,433 --> 01:04:23,037
Oh, Bjorn.

1291
01:04:23,072 --> 01:04:25,204
What's your excuse?

1292
01:04:25,239 --> 01:04:26,898
Huh?

1293
01:04:26,933 --> 01:04:30,077
Didn't I get you that Huffy bike
you wanted back in '82?

1294
01:04:30,112 --> 01:04:33,377
One you wrote me 50 times about!

1295
01:04:33,412 --> 01:04:34,983
What about you, Kira?

1296
01:04:35,018 --> 01:04:37,953
Well, you made your brother
eat worms.

1297
01:04:37,988 --> 01:04:39,581
That's naughty!

1298
01:04:39,616 --> 01:04:41,451
Okay, how does he know
about my bike?

1299
01:04:41,486 --> 01:04:44,993
It's a lucky guess, like:
"Hey, do you like big tits?"

1300
01:04:45,028 --> 01:04:47,259
Come on, every kid wants
a fucking bike.

1301
01:04:47,294 --> 01:04:50,394
-You're gonna tell me who you
work for... -Oh, Christ. No.

1302
01:04:50,429 --> 01:04:53,496
...then you've got five seconds
to tell me who you really are.

1303
01:04:53,531 --> 01:04:56,301
Five, four, three, two...

1304
01:04:56,336 --> 01:04:57,973
I'm Santa Claus!

1305
01:04:58,008 --> 01:05:00,107
Well, not anymore.

1306
01:05:02,012 --> 01:05:04,045
♪ ♪

1307
01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:27,200
GINGERBREAD:
Is it snowing?

1308
01:05:27,235 --> 01:05:30,302
CANDY CANE: Is he doing this
with Santa magic?

1309
01:05:36,904 --> 01:05:39,146
Let it snow!

1310
01:05:51,017 --> 01:05:52,984
It's not snow.

1311
01:05:53,019 --> 01:05:54,392
It's Styrofoam.

1312
01:05:54,427 --> 01:05:56,493
I told you this guy's
a big phony.

1313
01:05:56,528 --> 01:05:58,231
(grunts)

1314
01:06:00,169 --> 01:06:02,202
(whooshing)

1315
01:06:06,076 --> 01:06:08,109
(groaning)

1316
01:06:09,442 --> 01:06:11,002
(grunts, sighs)

1317
01:06:11,037 --> 01:06:13,147
Where'd he go?

1318
01:06:13,182 --> 01:06:14,643
GINGERBREAD:
He went up the chimney.

1319
01:06:14,678 --> 01:06:16,249
-I saw it.
-SCROOGE: I don't know,

1320
01:06:16,284 --> 01:06:18,251
he had a rig
or some pulley system

1321
01:06:18,286 --> 01:06:20,319
-that just yanked him up.
-You can't fit up there.

1322
01:06:20,354 --> 01:06:21,914
-It's impossible.
-Oh, you see one weird thing,

1323
01:06:21,949 --> 01:06:24,092
and then you think
you're in a fairy tale?

1324
01:06:24,127 --> 01:06:25,423
KRAMPUS (over radio):
Incoming.

1325
01:06:25,458 --> 01:06:26,325
We've got sleigh bells
approaching.

1326
01:06:26,360 --> 01:06:28,063
Oh, my God.

1327
01:06:28,098 --> 01:06:29,922
It's his reindeer.

1328
01:06:31,728 --> 01:06:33,695
-(hits table)
-It's the extraction team.

1329
01:06:33,730 --> 01:06:35,697
Pull yourselves together!

1330
01:06:35,732 --> 01:06:38,304
(engines revving)

1331
01:06:41,276 --> 01:06:43,309
♪ ♪

1332
01:06:47,480 --> 01:06:49,480
(engines revving in distance)

1333
01:06:50,879 --> 01:06:54,947
And that is the sound
of my Kill Squad.

1334
01:06:54,982 --> 01:06:56,553
(Bert laughing)

1335
01:06:56,588 --> 01:06:58,621
Oh, you're fizzity-fucked now.

1336
01:06:58,656 --> 01:07:00,689
Huh? What are you gonna do?
You little elf bitch.

1337
01:07:00,724 --> 01:07:02,229
Fu... (grunts)

1338
01:07:02,264 --> 01:07:03,428
(gasps) Bertie.

1339
01:07:03,463 --> 01:07:04,858
Hashtag "blessed."

1340
01:07:04,893 --> 01:07:07,927
(yells, grunts)

1341
01:07:07,962 --> 01:07:10,468
Yeah! (yells)

1342
01:07:10,503 --> 01:07:11,700
Parkour.

1343
01:07:11,735 --> 01:07:12,899
Kill him, babe!

1344
01:07:12,934 --> 01:07:15,275
-(yells) Oh!
-(others gasping)

1345
01:07:16,410 --> 01:07:17,937
Morgan's gonna save us.

1346
01:07:19,842 --> 01:07:23,316
Jean-Claude Van Dipshit
just ditched us, sweetie.

1347
01:07:30,589 --> 01:07:32,490
Hold your fire.

1348
01:07:32,525 --> 01:07:34,052
Barrel roll!

1349
01:07:34,087 --> 01:07:35,724
(grunting, panting)

1350
01:07:35,759 --> 01:07:37,055
Easy, easy.

1351
01:07:37,090 --> 01:07:38,958
-(grunts) Yeah!
-Easy.

1352
01:07:38,993 --> 01:07:40,300
Identify yourself.

1353
01:07:40,335 --> 01:07:42,797
I'm one of the hostages.

1354
01:07:42,832 --> 01:07:45,965
Morgan Steel, the actor.

1355
01:07:46,000 --> 01:07:48,935
Played a lot of soldiers
in my career.

1356
01:07:48,970 --> 01:07:52,213
Can I just say, thank you
for your service. Semper fi.

1357
01:07:53,282 --> 01:07:55,150
What's the situation inside?

1358
01:07:55,185 --> 01:07:57,647
Bunch of ex-military guys,

1359
01:07:57,682 --> 01:07:59,649
but I got to warn you,
they know you're coming.

1360
01:07:59,684 --> 01:08:01,255
I think they're ready for you.

1361
01:08:01,290 --> 01:08:03,015
They better be.

1362
01:08:03,050 --> 01:08:05,116
We're on a tight schedule.

1363
01:08:05,151 --> 01:08:06,986
Shit.

1364
01:08:10,398 --> 01:08:12,497
(gasps) Oh, f...

1365
01:08:12,532 --> 01:08:15,665
-All right, let's move out.
-Let's move out.

1366
01:08:19,869 --> 01:08:21,638
Come on.

1367
01:08:21,673 --> 01:08:23,871
You got to be kidding me.

1368
01:08:23,906 --> 01:08:25,510
SCROOGE: Hey, Thorp,
you're ten minutes late.

1369
01:08:25,545 --> 01:08:27,006
What kept you?

1370
01:08:27,041 --> 01:08:29,382
Looks to me like your net's
got a hole in it.

1371
01:08:29,417 --> 01:08:31,714
Or are you just letting your
hostages out for some exercise?

1372
01:08:31,749 --> 01:08:34,046
No, no, no. We got
a wild gopher running around

1373
01:08:34,081 --> 01:08:36,521
complicating shit
and causing problems.

1374
01:08:36,556 --> 01:08:38,292
Who? Lightstone security?

1375
01:08:38,327 --> 01:08:39,722
Nah, I don't think so.
Some intruder dressed as Santa.

1376
01:08:39,757 --> 01:08:41,295
But I'm telling you,
I'm telling you,

1377
01:08:41,330 --> 01:08:43,297
there's something weird
about him.

1378
01:08:43,332 --> 01:08:45,057
Might be the real Santa.

1379
01:08:45,092 --> 01:08:47,367
-The fuck did she just say?
-SCROOGE: Nothing, nothing.

1380
01:08:47,402 --> 01:08:48,500
She's joking.

1381
01:08:48,535 --> 01:08:50,898
My squad will take care of it.

1382
01:08:53,375 --> 01:08:55,969
Beta Team, go find this asshole.

1383
01:08:56,004 --> 01:08:58,246
Go.

1384
01:08:58,281 --> 01:09:02,382
Now, let's unwrap our present,
shall we?

1385
01:09:02,417 --> 01:09:04,714
All right, you heard the man.

1386
01:09:04,749 --> 01:09:07,255
Time to kill Santa.

1387
01:09:07,290 --> 01:09:09,818
I've got him. He's on the roof.

1388
01:09:09,853 --> 01:09:11,952
Roger that. I got eyes on him.

1389
01:09:15,892 --> 01:09:18,596
(gasping)

1390
01:09:19,797 --> 01:09:21,698
(screams)

1391
01:09:22,866 --> 01:09:25,372
(groaning)

1392
01:09:25,407 --> 01:09:27,440
(panting, grunting)

1393
01:09:29,477 --> 01:09:31,444
Right, Sugarplum.
Hit that button.

1394
01:09:31,479 --> 01:09:33,446
(tapping keys)

1395
01:09:33,481 --> 01:09:35,547
(clunking, whirring)

1396
01:09:38,420 --> 01:09:40,255
Here we go.

1397
01:09:40,290 --> 01:09:41,718
Our skeleton key.

1398
01:09:41,753 --> 01:09:43,555
The "open" magic stick.

1399
01:09:43,590 --> 01:09:45,425
This better fucking work.

1400
01:09:45,460 --> 01:09:48,021
I'm flushing my career for this,
my reputation.

1401
01:09:48,056 --> 01:09:50,562
Yeah, well, then you can
buy yourself a new rep.

1402
01:09:59,672 --> 01:10:01,309
THORP:
As a kid, I loved

1403
01:10:01,344 --> 01:10:03,377
unwrapping Christmas presents
so much

1404
01:10:03,412 --> 01:10:06,072
that my mom would wrap
empty boxes for me.

1405
01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:09,284
I didn't care
that nothing was inside.

1406
01:10:13,455 --> 01:10:15,488
♪ ♪

1407
01:10:21,463 --> 01:10:23,925
Is this a fucking joke?

1408
01:10:23,960 --> 01:10:25,190
No.

1409
01:10:26,666 --> 01:10:28,567
THORP: You said it would
fucking be here!

1410
01:10:28,602 --> 01:10:32,065
I'm telling you,
my intel was rock solid.

1411
01:10:32,100 --> 01:10:34,474
I had guys on the inside.

1412
01:10:35,774 --> 01:10:39,138
300 million in cash
was delivered here yesterday

1413
01:10:39,173 --> 01:10:41,283
to this fucking mansion.

1414
01:10:46,521 --> 01:10:49,148
Somebody must've intercepted it.

1415
01:10:53,154 --> 01:10:55,187
Son of a bitch.

1416
01:10:57,697 --> 01:11:00,368
(groaning)

1417
01:11:06,200 --> 01:11:08,904
(panting)

1418
01:11:15,385 --> 01:11:17,649
(groans)

1419
01:11:17,684 --> 01:11:19,046
Oh, shit.

1420
01:11:19,081 --> 01:11:21,719
Santa, you okay?

1421
01:11:21,754 --> 01:11:23,490
(over radio):
Santa.

1422
01:11:23,525 --> 01:11:25,624
A bunch of new bad guys
showed up.

1423
01:11:25,659 --> 01:11:27,626
They're on the naughty list.

1424
01:11:27,661 --> 01:11:30,398
They got their gadgets
and their gizmos on them.

1425
01:11:31,401 --> 01:11:33,863
I'm sorry.
I think this is it, kid.

1426
01:11:33,898 --> 01:11:35,634
No, no, don't say that.

1427
01:11:35,669 --> 01:11:37,636
The naughty list...

1428
01:11:37,671 --> 01:11:39,902
just grows and grows.

1429
01:11:46,614 --> 01:11:48,812
(device whirring)

1430
01:11:48,847 --> 01:11:52,585
He's in that structure.
Body cams on.

1431
01:11:52,620 --> 01:11:54,686
TRUDY:
Don't give up.

1432
01:11:54,721 --> 01:11:57,150
You make a wish this time,
Santa.

1433
01:11:57,185 --> 01:11:58,921
Just this once.

1434
01:11:58,956 --> 01:12:01,858
If you could have anything
in this world,

1435
01:12:01,893 --> 01:12:03,926
what would it be?

1436
01:12:09,868 --> 01:12:12,869
SANTA: I wish I could see
Mrs. Claus again,

1437
01:12:12,904 --> 01:12:16,037
tell her how much I love her.

1438
01:12:16,072 --> 01:12:18,842
Then you make
that wish come true.

1439
01:12:18,877 --> 01:12:21,009
-(ring clinking)
-Oh, shit.

1440
01:12:21,044 --> 01:12:23,209
No, no, no, no. No, no.

1441
01:12:23,244 --> 01:12:24,881
(grunting)

1442
01:12:24,916 --> 01:12:26,377
Oh, God.

1443
01:12:26,412 --> 01:12:29,248
(grunts) No.

1444
01:12:31,417 --> 01:12:33,461
♪ ♪

1445
01:12:41,735 --> 01:12:44,703
You said these guys,
they're naughty.

1446
01:12:44,738 --> 01:12:47,607
And what do you do
to the naughty ones?

1447
01:12:47,642 --> 01:12:49,477
I give them a lump of coal.

1448
01:12:49,512 --> 01:12:51,578
Yeah. Give them their lumps.

1449
01:12:53,109 --> 01:12:55,142
Take that coal and shove it
straight up their...

1450
01:12:55,177 --> 01:12:57,485
-Anuses.
-Yeah!

1451
01:12:57,520 --> 01:12:59,179
♪ ♪

1452
01:13:03,493 --> 01:13:04,987
They're right outside.

1453
01:13:05,022 --> 01:13:06,560
(whooshing)

1454
01:13:06,595 --> 01:13:08,320
♪ ♪

1455
01:13:19,542 --> 01:13:21,905
Santa's gonna eat
through these guys

1456
01:13:21,940 --> 01:13:23,808
like a plate full of cookies.

1457
01:13:24,811 --> 01:13:26,877
(whispering)

1458
01:13:28,474 --> 01:13:29,715
Move, move.

1459
01:13:33,556 --> 01:13:35,314
Hey, lock it up.

1460
01:13:37,186 --> 01:13:38,988
Lights down.

1461
01:13:40,189 --> 01:13:42,288
Stay at my back.

1462
01:13:42,323 --> 01:13:44,191
All right, we got this, boys.

1463
01:13:44,226 --> 01:13:45,830
(fierce grunting)

1464
01:13:46,668 --> 01:13:48,998
(yelling in pain)

1465
01:13:53,466 --> 01:13:55,609
-(yelps, groans)
-(neck snaps)

1466
01:13:55,644 --> 01:13:57,677
♪ ♪

1467
01:14:00,374 --> 01:14:01,879
(gasps)

1468
01:14:01,914 --> 01:14:03,276
(pained yelling)

1469
01:14:03,311 --> 01:14:05,520
All right, where the fuck
is my money?!

1470
01:14:05,555 --> 01:14:07,753
Where's the money?!

1471
01:14:09,350 --> 01:14:11,350
(yells)

1472
01:14:18,832 --> 01:14:21,393
All right, I've been
a sweetheart up to now.

1473
01:14:21,428 --> 01:14:22,999
But that's all over.

1474
01:14:23,034 --> 01:14:24,704
No more fucking games!

1475
01:14:24,739 --> 01:14:26,365
Where's the money?

1476
01:14:26,400 --> 01:14:29,203
Or I will shoot every last
one of you and enjoy it.

1477
01:14:33,616 --> 01:14:36,243
-It's in the vault.
-I just looked in the vault.

1478
01:14:36,278 --> 01:14:37,750
Had the money been in there,

1479
01:14:37,785 --> 01:14:39,345
I'd have a different
expression on my face.

1480
01:14:39,380 --> 01:14:40,819
Impossible.

1481
01:14:40,854 --> 01:14:42,887
Takes days to get
into that thing.

1482
01:14:42,922 --> 01:14:46,286
Not if we have the key,
Mrs. Lightstone.

1483
01:14:47,795 --> 01:14:49,828
GERTRUDE:
Thorp.

1484
01:14:49,863 --> 01:14:51,258
(sighs)

1485
01:14:51,293 --> 01:14:53,733
You can't trust anyone
these days.

1486
01:14:53,768 --> 01:14:55,933
SCROOGE:
I'm not sure how, but you

1487
01:14:55,968 --> 01:14:58,837
or one of your shithead kids
moved the money.

1488
01:14:58,872 --> 01:15:00,674
And this upsets me.

1489
01:15:00,709 --> 01:15:02,709
It upsets me

1490
01:15:02,744 --> 01:15:06,471
in a way that makes me want to
just randomly shoot at people.

1491
01:15:07,474 --> 01:15:09,716
Hold on. Just... Sorry.

1492
01:15:09,751 --> 01:15:11,245
-Um...
-What? What?

1493
01:15:11,280 --> 01:15:12,719
Uh, what if you randomly shoot

1494
01:15:12,754 --> 01:15:14,985
the only person
who knows where it is?

1495
01:15:16,219 --> 01:15:18,351
Oh, fuck you people!

1496
01:15:18,386 --> 01:15:20,419
♪ ♪

1497
01:15:23,127 --> 01:15:27,998
♪ We waited
all through the year ♪

1498
01:15:29,100 --> 01:15:34,103
♪ For the day to appear ♪

1499
01:15:34,138 --> 01:15:35,940
(grunting and groaning)

1500
01:15:35,975 --> 01:15:41,715
♪ When we could be together ♪

1501
01:15:41,750 --> 01:15:44,080
♪ In harmony ♪

1502
01:15:44,115 --> 01:15:45,653
(yells)

1503
01:15:45,688 --> 01:15:47,787
♪ You know the time will come ♪

1504
01:15:47,822 --> 01:15:50,757
(grunts, screams)

1505
01:15:50,792 --> 01:15:53,155
♪ Peace on Earth for everyone ♪

1506
01:15:53,190 --> 01:15:54,662
SANTA:
Suck on this.

1507
01:15:54,697 --> 01:15:57,192
(grunting, gurgling)

1508
01:15:59,196 --> 01:16:04,001
♪ And we can live forever ♪

1509
01:16:04,036 --> 01:16:07,268
♪ In a world where we are free ♪

1510
01:16:07,303 --> 01:16:10,436
♪ Let it shine for you and me ♪

1511
01:16:10,471 --> 01:16:13,648
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪

1512
01:16:13,683 --> 01:16:16,849
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪

1513
01:16:16,884 --> 01:16:19,654
♪ That makes you wish it was
Christmas every day... ♪

1514
01:16:19,689 --> 01:16:21,249
I need some feedback, guys.

1515
01:16:21,284 --> 01:16:22,756
(grunting and yelling
over monitor)

1516
01:16:22,791 --> 01:16:24,725
Guys, what the hell is going on?

1517
01:16:25,728 --> 01:16:28,454
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪

1518
01:16:28,489 --> 01:16:32,799
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪

1519
01:16:34,737 --> 01:16:39,498
-♪ We're all as one tonight ♪
-(grunting and groaning)

1520
01:16:39,533 --> 01:16:44,140
♪ Makes no difference
if you're Black or white ♪

1521
01:16:44,175 --> 01:16:47,011
(grunting and groaning continue)

1522
01:16:47,046 --> 01:16:49,640
♪ 'Cause we can sing together ♪

1523
01:16:49,675 --> 01:16:52,313
(screaming)

1524
01:16:52,348 --> 01:16:54,348
♪ In harmony ♪

1525
01:16:56,484 --> 01:17:01,190
♪ I know it's not too late ♪

1526
01:17:01,225 --> 01:17:04,160
♪ The world would be ♪

1527
01:17:04,195 --> 01:17:07,427
-♪ A better place ♪
-(engine starts, rumbles)

1528
01:17:09,695 --> 01:17:11,200
-What's that?
-Huh?

1529
01:17:11,235 --> 01:17:13,334
♪ If we can keep the spirit ♪

1530
01:17:13,369 --> 01:17:15,303
(grunting and groaning continue)

1531
01:17:15,338 --> 01:17:17,712
♪ More than one day
in the year ♪

1532
01:17:17,747 --> 01:17:21,749
♪ Send a message
loud and clear ♪

1533
01:17:23,346 --> 01:17:26,215
♪ There's something
about Christmastime ♪

1534
01:17:26,250 --> 01:17:28,888
♪ Something about
Christmastime ♪

1535
01:17:28,923 --> 01:17:33,057
♪ That makes you wish
it was Christmas every day ♪

1536
01:17:33,092 --> 01:17:35,158
(grunting, screaming)

1537
01:17:35,193 --> 01:17:38,832
♪ To see the joy
in the children's eyes ♪

1538
01:17:38,867 --> 01:17:41,659
♪ The way that
the old folks smile ♪

1539
01:17:41,694 --> 01:17:46,466
♪ Says that Christmas
will never go away ♪

1540
01:17:47,469 --> 01:17:50,206
♪ It's the time of year
when everyone's together... ♪

1541
01:17:50,241 --> 01:17:52,109
Jesus Christ.

1542
01:17:53,079 --> 01:17:55,541
Nope. Just jolly old Saint Nick.

1543
01:17:55,576 --> 01:17:57,851
♪ Here on Christmas Day ♪

1544
01:17:57,886 --> 01:17:59,512
(grunts)

1545
01:17:59,547 --> 01:18:03,219
♪ When the ones you love
are there ♪

1546
01:18:03,254 --> 01:18:08,026
♪ You can feel the magic
in the air... ♪

1547
01:18:08,061 --> 01:18:10,688
-(grunts) Oh, God!
-There you go.

1548
01:18:10,723 --> 01:18:12,327
A little stocking stuffer.

1549
01:18:13,330 --> 01:18:16,804
Where is it?
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

1550
01:18:16,839 --> 01:18:19,400
Fuck, fuck, fuck.

1551
01:18:19,435 --> 01:18:21,809
-I got to watch.
-Fuck!

1552
01:18:23,241 --> 01:18:25,439
Ho-Ho-Holy shit.

1553
01:18:25,474 --> 01:18:27,815
♪ Christmas will never
go away. ♪

1554
01:18:27,850 --> 01:18:30,444
Gertrude would never
trust anybody

1555
01:18:30,479 --> 01:18:32,743
who wasn't blood
with this kind of info.

1556
01:18:32,778 --> 01:18:34,646
So...

1557
01:18:34,681 --> 01:18:38,221
the in-laws wouldn't know shit,

1558
01:18:38,256 --> 01:18:40,619
which means
that I can shoot her...

1559
01:18:40,654 --> 01:18:42,291
(gasping)

1560
01:18:42,326 --> 01:18:44,293
...unless you tell me
where the fucking money is.

1561
01:18:44,328 --> 01:18:46,328
LINDA: Please don't, okay?
It's Christmas.

1562
01:18:46,363 --> 01:18:48,165
Shut up!

1563
01:18:49,300 --> 01:18:50,761
I swear,
I'll blow her brains out

1564
01:18:50,796 --> 01:18:52,070
unless you tell me
where the money went.

1565
01:18:52,105 --> 01:18:54,303
I did it!

1566
01:18:54,338 --> 01:18:56,811
-What?
-JASON: Okay. Yeah, I did it.

1567
01:18:56,846 --> 01:18:58,736
-I moved the money.
-No, d-don't-don't be an idiot.

1568
01:18:58,771 --> 01:19:00,408
-What?
-The money's our only leverage.

1569
01:19:00,443 --> 01:19:02,146
Well, my wife has a fucking
gun to her head, so...

1570
01:19:02,181 --> 01:19:04,016
Yeah, how did you find out
that we were coming, huh?

1571
01:19:04,051 --> 01:19:05,611
I didn't. I was stealing it.

1572
01:19:05,646 --> 01:19:07,019
(Linda sighs)

1573
01:19:07,054 --> 01:19:08,350
-Yeah, coincidence.
-ALVA: Oh, my God.

1574
01:19:08,385 --> 01:19:09,857
I was planning to take the money

1575
01:19:09,892 --> 01:19:12,827
and leave with my wife
and daughter tonight

1576
01:19:12,862 --> 01:19:14,785
and never come back here.

1577
01:19:14,820 --> 01:19:18,294
Oh, and then my mom would, uh,

1578
01:19:18,329 --> 01:19:20,296
read the note with her whiskey
in the morning

1579
01:19:20,331 --> 01:19:22,001
and know what I had done.

1580
01:19:22,036 --> 01:19:24,366
For years,
I have been telling you

1581
01:19:24,401 --> 01:19:26,874
to stop caring about
your mother's fucking money!

1582
01:19:26,909 --> 01:19:29,976
And you think the solution
was to steal a bunch of it.

1583
01:19:30,979 --> 01:19:32,946
Well, it...
yeah, it does sound stupid

1584
01:19:32,981 --> 01:19:34,541
when you say it like that.

1585
01:19:34,576 --> 01:19:36,543
ALVA:
How can you do this right now?

1586
01:19:36,578 --> 01:19:38,677
It's disgusting. After all
that Mother has given us?

1587
01:19:38,712 --> 01:19:40,679
Come on, Alva.
Everything she ever gave you,

1588
01:19:40,714 --> 01:19:42,021
she made damn sure we knew

1589
01:19:42,056 --> 01:19:43,352
she had the power
to take right back.

1590
01:19:43,387 --> 01:19:47,191
I have spent years
groveling to you.

1591
01:19:47,226 --> 01:19:49,963
In the meanwhile,
I was destroying

1592
01:19:49,998 --> 01:19:51,998
the only good thing in my life.

1593
01:19:52,033 --> 01:19:53,494
KRAMPUS:
What are we doing here, huh?

1594
01:19:53,529 --> 01:19:56,233
Family therapy or doing a heist?

1595
01:19:56,268 --> 01:19:59,335
-Yeah, enough of this sharing
bullshit. -(Linda gasps)

1596
01:19:59,370 --> 01:20:01,040
All right. Where'd you put it?

1597
01:20:05,871 --> 01:20:07,475
(Candy Cane scoffs)

1598
01:20:07,510 --> 01:20:09,884
Look at this little idiot.

1599
01:20:13,747 --> 01:20:15,186
Oh, no.

1600
01:20:15,221 --> 01:20:16,990
What?

1601
01:20:17,025 --> 01:20:18,893
-The bad guys found me.
-Okay.

1602
01:20:18,928 --> 01:20:20,719
I'm coming.

1603
01:20:27,431 --> 01:20:31,103
You know, booby traps don't work
unless you hide them.

1604
01:20:33,943 --> 01:20:35,272
You little moron.

1605
01:20:38,607 --> 01:20:40,772
-(yelling)
-Jesus! Shit!

1606
01:20:41,742 --> 01:20:43,918
(Gingerbread continues yelling)

1607
01:20:44,877 --> 01:20:46,778
GINGERBREAD:
Help me! Help me! Help!

1608
01:20:46,813 --> 01:20:48,285
(yelling, gurgling)

1609
01:20:48,320 --> 01:20:50,452
You'll be f... (gags)
You'll be fine.

1610
01:20:50,487 --> 01:20:52,454
Sit tight.
I'll be back in a sec.

1611
01:20:54,062 --> 01:20:55,556
(pained yelling)

1612
01:20:55,591 --> 01:20:57,756
Right after I kill
this little piece of shit!

1613
01:21:00,662 --> 01:21:02,937
(panting)
You little fucking brat.

1614
01:21:02,972 --> 01:21:04,906
(creaking)

1615
01:21:08,010 --> 01:21:10,637
(grunts, whimpers)

1616
01:21:20,154 --> 01:21:21,186
(grunts)

1617
01:21:22,255 --> 01:21:24,618
(screams)

1618
01:21:28,525 --> 01:21:30,063
(grunts)

1619
01:21:30,098 --> 01:21:32,065
(yelling)

1620
01:21:32,100 --> 01:21:33,495
(squishing)

1621
01:21:33,530 --> 01:21:36,201
(screaming)

1622
01:21:38,601 --> 01:21:40,832
(grunts, yelps)

1623
01:21:40,867 --> 01:21:43,538
(gasping breaths)

1624
01:21:44,541 --> 01:21:45,903
(yells in pain)

1625
01:21:45,938 --> 01:21:47,982
(whimpering)

1626
01:21:50,151 --> 01:21:51,447
(grunts)

1627
01:21:51,482 --> 01:21:53,185
You're dead!

1628
01:21:53,220 --> 01:21:55,550
You're so fucking dead!

1629
01:22:02,823 --> 01:22:05,131
Fucking piece of shit.

1630
01:22:10,468 --> 01:22:12,974
(scoffs) You little...

1631
01:22:22,909 --> 01:22:24,711
(gasping)

1632
01:22:27,980 --> 01:22:30,519
(grunting)

1633
01:22:30,554 --> 01:22:32,356
-Incoming!
-(gasps)

1634
01:22:35,856 --> 01:22:38,527
(straining)

1635
01:22:40,069 --> 01:22:41,365
(yelps)

1636
01:22:41,400 --> 01:22:42,531
(chuckles)

1637
01:22:44,403 --> 01:22:46,568
(straining)

1638
01:22:46,603 --> 01:22:47,866
(gasps)

1639
01:22:49,210 --> 01:22:51,210
(groaning)

1640
01:22:51,245 --> 01:22:53,047
(screams) Son of a fucking...

1641
01:22:53,082 --> 01:22:54,378
(chuckles)

1642
01:22:58,010 --> 01:22:59,218
-(crunching)
-(screaming)

1643
01:23:00,947 --> 01:23:03,090
(groaning)

1644
01:23:03,125 --> 01:23:05,015
Fuck. (whimpers)

1645
01:23:05,050 --> 01:23:06,753
I got you now, kid.

1646
01:23:06,788 --> 01:23:08,392
Yeah? Heads up.

1647
01:23:09,131 --> 01:23:10,757
(chuckles)

1648
01:23:10,792 --> 01:23:12,330
That's all you got?
You fucking...

1649
01:23:12,365 --> 01:23:15,102
(grunts, groans)

1650
01:23:15,137 --> 01:23:17,566
Enough of this shit. (spits)

1651
01:23:25,279 --> 01:23:27,312
♪ ♪

1652
01:23:31,252 --> 01:23:33,285
(panting)

1653
01:23:40,789 --> 01:23:42,261
(hammer drops to floor)

1654
01:23:43,264 --> 01:23:44,296
Santa!

1655
01:23:45,497 --> 01:23:47,398
(Santa grunts)

1656
01:23:54,440 --> 01:23:56,737
Hi, Trudy. Hi.

1657
01:23:56,772 --> 01:23:59,542
I made booby traps like
in the movie. It was so funny.

1658
01:23:59,577 --> 01:24:02,039
(chuckling):
Ho, ho, ho.

1659
01:24:02,074 --> 01:24:03,711
(rustling)

1660
01:24:03,746 --> 01:24:05,482
(grunting weakly)

1661
01:24:08,080 --> 01:24:11,818
Trudy, I want you to, uh...
just do me a favor.

1662
01:24:12,854 --> 01:24:15,756
Just turn around
and close your eyes.

1663
01:24:15,791 --> 01:24:18,495
Maybe put your fingers
in your ears and, uh,

1664
01:24:18,530 --> 01:24:21,597
sing "Jingle Bells"
as loud as you can.

1665
01:24:21,632 --> 01:24:23,599
♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

1666
01:24:23,634 --> 01:24:25,931
♪ Jingle all the way ♪

1667
01:24:25,966 --> 01:24:28,274
♪ Oh, how fun it is to ride... ♪

1668
01:24:28,309 --> 01:24:31,244
You were about to murder
an innocent child.

1669
01:24:31,279 --> 01:24:32,410
♪ Jingle bells,
jingle bells... ♪

1670
01:24:32,445 --> 01:24:34,148
Innocent?

1671
01:24:34,183 --> 01:24:35,908
-It's naughty.
-(Trudy continues singing)

1672
01:24:35,943 --> 01:24:37,283
Naughty.

1673
01:24:38,220 --> 01:24:39,747
-Naughty!
-(squishing thud)

1674
01:24:39,782 --> 01:24:41,419
It's part of
the Lightstone legacy.

1675
01:24:41,454 --> 01:24:43,190
We're horrible people.

1676
01:24:43,225 --> 01:24:45,016
So I get why you did
what you did.

1677
01:24:45,051 --> 01:24:47,117
When your grandfather told me
I'd never run the company

1678
01:24:47,152 --> 01:24:49,427
because a girl
doesn't have what it takes,

1679
01:24:49,462 --> 01:24:51,429
I had to snatch the reins
away from him.

1680
01:24:51,464 --> 01:24:52,958
But the point is,

1681
01:24:52,993 --> 01:24:54,663
a Lightstone takes
what's theirs.

1682
01:24:54,698 --> 01:24:56,269
I'm proud of you, son.

1683
01:24:56,304 --> 01:24:57,831
All right, where the hell is it?

1684
01:24:57,866 --> 01:24:59,998
(choral Christmas music
playing over speakers)

1685
01:25:00,033 --> 01:25:01,901
The money's hidden inside.

1686
01:25:03,377 --> 01:25:06,279
SCROOGE: And the Three Wise Men
presented him with gifts

1687
01:25:06,314 --> 01:25:09,073
of frankincense, myrrh...

1688
01:25:11,253 --> 01:25:14,320
...and cold hard cash.

1689
01:25:14,355 --> 01:25:15,882
Load it up, boys.

1690
01:25:15,917 --> 01:25:18,225
All right,
we're securing the money.

1691
01:25:18,260 --> 01:25:20,051
Kill the hostages
and meet us outside.

1692
01:25:20,086 --> 01:25:21,822
What?

1693
01:25:21,857 --> 01:25:23,824
No. (grunts)

1694
01:25:23,859 --> 01:25:25,793
♪ ♪

1695
01:25:25,828 --> 01:25:27,124
BERT:
Mom.

1696
01:25:27,159 --> 01:25:28,565
It's fine, Bert.

1697
01:25:28,600 --> 01:25:29,962
Everything's fine.

1698
01:25:29,997 --> 01:25:32,063
Okay.

1699
01:25:32,098 --> 01:25:34,208
Everybody, get up.

1700
01:25:34,243 --> 01:25:38,641
(singsongy):
It's time for a murder.

1701
01:25:38,676 --> 01:25:41,072
Come on. Come on.
You don't want to kill us.

1702
01:25:41,107 --> 01:25:42,513
You really don't.

1703
01:25:42,548 --> 01:25:44,713
Oh, yes, I do.

1704
01:25:44,748 --> 01:25:47,848
I really, really, really do.

1705
01:25:47,883 --> 01:25:49,487
And I'm gonna start with you.

1706
01:25:49,522 --> 01:25:50,884
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

1707
01:25:50,919 --> 01:25:52,050
Wait, wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait.

1708
01:25:53,922 --> 01:25:55,526
You got to kill
Aunt Linda first.

1709
01:25:55,561 --> 01:25:57,495
What the hell, Bert?

1710
01:25:57,530 --> 01:25:59,332
You want to squeeze in
being a little shit

1711
01:25:59,367 --> 01:26:00,993
before you die, Bertrude?

1712
01:26:01,028 --> 01:26:02,533
-I say shoot him first.
-BERT: What?

1713
01:26:02,568 --> 01:26:04,601
ALVA: Wait. No, no, no.
Don't shoot him.

1714
01:26:04,636 --> 01:26:06,702
Don't shoot him first.
And don't you call him

1715
01:26:06,737 --> 01:26:08,341
a little shit,
you gold-digging bitch.

1716
01:26:08,376 --> 01:26:10,200
Okay. I changed my mind.

1717
01:26:10,235 --> 01:26:12,169
-Shoot the alcoholic bitch
first. -Don't call my mom

1718
01:26:12,204 --> 01:26:14,281
-an alcoholic bitch.
-Your mom's an alcoholic.

1719
01:26:14,316 --> 01:26:16,041
-I'm sorry.
-You're a gold-digging bitch.

1720
01:26:16,076 --> 01:26:18,285
Oh, I'm a gold-digger,
when I have a whole-ass career?

1721
01:26:18,320 --> 01:26:19,847
You're not even part
of the fucking family.

1722
01:26:19,882 --> 01:26:22,553
-She's an engineer.
-You know goddamn well...

1723
01:26:22,588 --> 01:26:23,785
Shut up!

1724
01:26:25,492 --> 01:26:27,624
(sighs)

1725
01:26:27,659 --> 01:26:31,562
Just like rats in a barrel.

1726
01:26:32,565 --> 01:26:34,730
Why don't you die
with some dignity?

1727
01:26:34,765 --> 01:26:36,534
-(grunts)
-(flame whooshes)

1728
01:26:36,569 --> 01:26:38,602
(yelling, grunting)

1729
01:26:39,803 --> 01:26:41,704
Get off of me!

1730
01:26:41,739 --> 01:26:43,376
ALVA:
Okay, okay.

1731
01:26:43,411 --> 01:26:44,707
BERT:
Fuck you!

1732
01:26:44,742 --> 01:26:47,138
LINDA:
This is for yelling at my child!

1733
01:26:47,173 --> 01:26:48,645
ALVA:
Creep!

1734
01:26:48,680 --> 01:26:50,383
That's for slapping me,
motherfucker!

1735
01:26:50,418 --> 01:26:52,209
ALVA: This is for
your dumb fucking hat!

1736
01:26:52,244 --> 01:26:54,519
(grunting, yelling continue)

1737
01:26:57,458 --> 01:26:59,359
(all panting)

1738
01:27:01,792 --> 01:27:03,594
Is he...

1739
01:27:03,629 --> 01:27:05,024
Is he dead?

1740
01:27:08,931 --> 01:27:10,766
Yeah.

1741
01:27:11,769 --> 01:27:13,472
Thanks, Linda.

1742
01:27:13,507 --> 01:27:16,475
Well, it's nice to do something
as a family for a change.

1743
01:27:16,510 --> 01:27:17,740
(laughter)

1744
01:27:17,775 --> 01:27:19,346
-(grunts)
-(screaming) -Oh, shit!

1745
01:27:19,381 --> 01:27:21,172
KRAMPUS:
I'm gonna... (grunts)

1746
01:27:21,207 --> 01:27:23,713
(gurgling)

1747
01:27:25,354 --> 01:27:26,980
ALVA:
That was for Morgan.

1748
01:27:27,015 --> 01:27:31,787
He may have been stupid,
but he was very, very hot.

1749
01:27:33,219 --> 01:27:35,659
Oh. Trudy!

1750
01:27:35,694 --> 01:27:37,958
-Mommy!
-(sighs, grunts)

1751
01:27:37,993 --> 01:27:39,762
Thank God, baby.

1752
01:27:39,797 --> 01:27:41,632
(sighs heavily) Are you okay?

1753
01:27:41,667 --> 01:27:43,337
I'm okay, Mommy.

1754
01:27:43,372 --> 01:27:44,536
Okay.

1755
01:27:44,571 --> 01:27:46,967
This is my friend, Santa.

1756
01:27:51,479 --> 01:27:53,512
What the fuck?

1757
01:27:53,547 --> 01:27:55,349
I can't thank you enough,
Mister...

1758
01:27:55,384 --> 01:27:57,714
Claus. But please call me Santa.

1759
01:27:57,749 --> 01:27:59,210
Mm-hmm.

1760
01:27:59,245 --> 01:28:01,113
SANTA:
You guys should get out of here.

1761
01:28:01,148 --> 01:28:02,686
It's dangerous.

1762
01:28:02,721 --> 01:28:04,886
They took my husband
and her grandmother.

1763
01:28:06,923 --> 01:28:08,461
Anybody know how to work
these gizmos?

1764
01:28:08,496 --> 01:28:09,858
I think so.

1765
01:28:09,893 --> 01:28:11,530
I used to hunt with my dad.

1766
01:28:11,565 --> 01:28:12,729
Ow.

1767
01:28:12,764 --> 01:28:14,566
Copy that. How's that looking?

1768
01:28:14,601 --> 01:28:17,129
-Yeah, I got it on lockdown.
-Heads on a swivel, boys.

1769
01:28:17,164 --> 01:28:18,570
(gunfire)

1770
01:28:18,605 --> 01:28:20,066
-Incoming!
-Heads up!

1771
01:28:20,101 --> 01:28:21,540
(gasps)

1772
01:28:21,575 --> 01:28:23,003
-(bullets whizzing)
-Oh, oh! Who's shooting?

1773
01:28:23,038 --> 01:28:24,840
-Who's...
-(yelps)

1774
01:28:24,875 --> 01:28:27,579
-PEPPERMINT: Cap, get down!
-SCROOGE: Watch it! Watch it!

1775
01:28:28,615 --> 01:28:31,242
(gasping)

1776
01:28:31,277 --> 01:28:32,881
(grunts, sputters)

1777
01:28:32,916 --> 01:28:35,114
Gun 'em down. Mow them all down.

1778
01:28:37,019 --> 01:28:39,690
(whimpering)

1779
01:28:43,058 --> 01:28:44,992
(yells)

1780
01:28:45,027 --> 01:28:47,060
(gunfire continues)

1781
01:28:51,198 --> 01:28:53,935
-All right, let's get the fuck
out of here. -Let's go.

1782
01:28:53,970 --> 01:28:56,377
-Go where?
-Come on, move, you old bat.

1783
01:28:57,303 --> 01:28:58,973
GERTRUDE: Get your fucking
hands off of me.

1784
01:29:00,878 --> 01:29:02,449
(grunts)

1785
01:29:04,618 --> 01:29:06,816
(engines starting)

1786
01:29:07,984 --> 01:29:09,115
(yells)

1787
01:29:09,150 --> 01:29:11,557
Oh! Oh, shit.

1788
01:29:11,592 --> 01:29:14,824
My balls! My fucking balls!

1789
01:29:19,259 --> 01:29:21,831
-(engine sputtering)
-(grunting)

1790
01:29:23,505 --> 01:29:25,406
(screaming)

1791
01:29:31,843 --> 01:29:34,415
Ow, my balls! Why did you
shoot me in the ball...

1792
01:29:35,616 --> 01:29:38,144
(choral Christmas music
continues over speakers)

1793
01:29:38,179 --> 01:29:40,619
Oh, Jesus.

1794
01:29:40,654 --> 01:29:42,214
Sorry.

1795
01:29:42,249 --> 01:29:44,282
(panting)

1796
01:29:44,317 --> 01:29:46,823
Don't worry about us, Mr. Claus.
We got this.

1797
01:29:46,858 --> 01:29:49,155
JASON:
Who is that guy?

1798
01:29:49,190 --> 01:29:51,498
He said he was Mr. Claus.

1799
01:29:53,458 --> 01:29:55,502
-Fuck. Trudy.
-No, no.

1800
01:29:55,537 --> 01:29:56,998
She's in the house. She's okay.

1801
01:29:57,033 --> 01:29:58,505
She's safe.

1802
01:29:58,540 --> 01:30:00,672
-Oh, thank God.
-Yeah.

1803
01:30:00,707 --> 01:30:02,773
(both panting)

1804
01:30:04,304 --> 01:30:06,337
♪ ♪

1805
01:30:19,825 --> 01:30:21,319
(gun clicks)

1806
01:30:21,354 --> 01:30:22,925
LINDA:
No, no.

1807
01:30:22,960 --> 01:30:25,499
-Oh... go, go, go, go, go.
-No, no, no. Wait, wait.

1808
01:30:25,534 --> 01:30:27,567
(grunting and groaning)

1809
01:30:31,870 --> 01:30:33,969
(screaming)

1810
01:30:34,004 --> 01:30:35,234
(grunts)

1811
01:30:37,975 --> 01:30:39,876
(panting)

1812
01:30:44,476 --> 01:30:46,014
(grunting, panting)

1813
01:30:46,049 --> 01:30:48,346
(choral Christmas music
continues over speakers)

1814
01:30:50,317 --> 01:30:52,559
-(whimpers)
-(grunts)

1815
01:30:52,594 --> 01:30:55,221
(screaming)

1816
01:30:57,764 --> 01:30:59,962
♪ ♪

1817
01:30:59,997 --> 01:31:02,162
(engines buzzing nearby)

1818
01:31:07,235 --> 01:31:08,740
(yells)

1819
01:31:11,272 --> 01:31:13,580
Oh, shit!

1820
01:31:16,112 --> 01:31:18,618
-Ho, ho!
-(engine revving)

1821
01:31:20,512 --> 01:31:21,555
Fuck!

1822
01:31:33,899 --> 01:31:36,493
(choral Christmas music
playing over speakers)

1823
01:31:36,528 --> 01:31:38,297
(gasping weakly)

1824
01:31:41,874 --> 01:31:44,402
(straining, gasping)

1825
01:31:44,437 --> 01:31:45,612
(grunts)

1826
01:31:46,879 --> 01:31:48,615
(grunting)

1827
01:31:54,315 --> 01:31:55,589
(yelps)

1828
01:31:58,891 --> 01:32:00,924
(whimpers softly)

1829
01:32:05,491 --> 01:32:07,832
-(gasping weakly)
-Fucking die.

1830
01:32:10,672 --> 01:32:12,738
(straining)

1831
01:32:17,338 --> 01:32:19,305
(Linda exhales sharply)

1832
01:32:19,340 --> 01:32:21,406
(coughing)

1833
01:32:22,948 --> 01:32:24,915
(choral Christmas music ends)

1834
01:32:24,950 --> 01:32:26,884
(coughing, gasping)

1835
01:32:26,919 --> 01:32:29,018
(grunting)

1836
01:32:30,857 --> 01:32:33,187
(panting)

1837
01:32:40,933 --> 01:32:42,966
♪ ♪

1838
01:32:55,310 --> 01:32:57,508
♪ ♪

1839
01:33:01,283 --> 01:33:03,118
SCROOGE:
Come on. Come on. Come on.

1840
01:33:03,153 --> 01:33:06,187
Yeah, over here. Over here.

1841
01:33:06,222 --> 01:33:07,551
Santa!

1842
01:33:08,521 --> 01:33:10,290
Come on!

1843
01:33:10,325 --> 01:33:11,863
Yeah.

1844
01:33:11,898 --> 01:33:14,195
(engine revving)

1845
01:33:22,007 --> 01:33:23,633
(screaming)

1846
01:33:23,668 --> 01:33:25,338
(grunts)

1847
01:33:27,980 --> 01:33:30,651
(groaning, panting)

1848
01:33:35,053 --> 01:33:37,152
(grunting)

1849
01:33:37,187 --> 01:33:38,824
(bullets ricocheting)

1850
01:33:44,326 --> 01:33:46,161
(groaning)

1851
01:33:52,334 --> 01:33:54,037
(gun clicking)

1852
01:33:54,072 --> 01:33:55,566
(gasping)

1853
01:33:55,601 --> 01:33:56,677
Fuck.

1854
01:34:02,850 --> 01:34:05,444
(Santa groaning)

1855
01:34:07,789 --> 01:34:09,855
♪ ♪

1856
01:34:20,560 --> 01:34:22,593
You're real?

1857
01:34:24,069 --> 01:34:26,366
You're... him.

1858
01:34:29,371 --> 01:34:30,876
You're you.

1859
01:34:30,911 --> 01:34:33,505
That's what I've been trying
to tell you.

1860
01:34:33,540 --> 01:34:36,750
The real goddamn Santa Claus.

1861
01:34:36,785 --> 01:34:39,280
This is not your night, pal.

1862
01:34:39,315 --> 01:34:42,448
Oh, I don't know.
I think you're wrong.

1863
01:34:42,483 --> 01:34:45,759
I think my whole shitty life's
built up to this moment.

1864
01:34:45,794 --> 01:34:47,222
Because when I kill you,

1865
01:34:47,257 --> 01:34:50,390
this whole goddamn holiday
finally ends.

1866
01:34:52,295 --> 01:34:53,932
Whatever it takes...

1867
01:34:55,903 --> 01:34:57,936
...Christmas dies tonight.

1868
01:34:57,971 --> 01:35:00,466
(yelling, grunting)

1869
01:35:04,978 --> 01:35:07,077
(engine revving)

1870
01:35:07,112 --> 01:35:08,111
(yells, whimpers)

1871
01:35:08,146 --> 01:35:09,211
(grunting)

1872
01:35:09,246 --> 01:35:10,817
(screams)

1873
01:35:10,852 --> 01:35:12,643
(grunting and groaning)

1874
01:35:20,191 --> 01:35:23,159
(both yelling)

1875
01:35:30,531 --> 01:35:32,971
(both panting, grunting)

1876
01:35:33,006 --> 01:35:35,039
(Santa coughing)

1877
01:35:38,671 --> 01:35:40,814
(grunting, panting)

1878
01:35:43,445 --> 01:35:45,016
(Scrooge chuckles)

1879
01:35:50,287 --> 01:35:51,781
Whoa! (grunts)

1880
01:35:51,816 --> 01:35:53,959
(laughs, grunts)

1881
01:35:53,994 --> 01:35:56,192
(grunting and groaning)

1882
01:36:00,297 --> 01:36:02,968
(yells in pain)

1883
01:36:08,041 --> 01:36:10,844
(song playing
with indistinct chanted vocal)

1884
01:36:10,879 --> 01:36:13,176
(grunting and groaning continue)

1885
01:36:16,918 --> 01:36:19,853
♪ ♪

1886
01:36:33,429 --> 01:36:36,100
(screaming)

1887
01:36:41,272 --> 01:36:44,504
(Scrooge straining)

1888
01:36:47,773 --> 01:36:50,444
(both straining)

1889
01:36:52,745 --> 01:36:54,712
(yells in pain)

1890
01:36:57,519 --> 01:36:59,783
(laughs)

1891
01:37:04,196 --> 01:37:06,097
(screams)

1892
01:37:06,132 --> 01:37:09,133
(grunting and groaning continue)

1893
01:37:17,110 --> 01:37:19,605
The last Christmas.

1894
01:37:20,707 --> 01:37:23,576
(grunting)

1895
01:37:29,650 --> 01:37:31,958
Not if you still believe.

1896
01:37:33,918 --> 01:37:35,929
No!

1897
01:37:35,964 --> 01:37:38,723
(grunting, screaming)

1898
01:37:45,138 --> 01:37:48,073
(laughing)

1899
01:37:49,736 --> 01:37:51,769
(continues laughing)

1900
01:37:54,576 --> 01:37:57,313
(gunfire)

1901
01:38:02,617 --> 01:38:04,155
(Santa grunting)

1902
01:38:04,190 --> 01:38:07,521
I have no idea what the fuck
is going on here.

1903
01:38:10,031 --> 01:38:11,932
But this ends now.

1904
01:38:17,104 --> 01:38:18,829
Damn right it does.

1905
01:38:20,767 --> 01:38:22,800
(engines buzzing)

1906
01:38:28,049 --> 01:38:30,016
LINDA:
Trudy, be careful.

1907
01:38:31,646 --> 01:38:33,844
(panting, groaning)

1908
01:38:33,879 --> 01:38:35,780
TRUDY:
Santa!

1909
01:38:35,815 --> 01:38:38,156
Oh, no. Santa.

1910
01:38:39,720 --> 01:38:41,192
Oh, no.

1911
01:38:44,494 --> 01:38:46,362
(Jason sighs)

1912
01:38:48,168 --> 01:38:50,135
You saved my daughter.

1913
01:38:51,138 --> 01:38:52,533
SANTA:
No.

1914
01:38:53,536 --> 01:38:55,008
She saved me.

1915
01:38:55,043 --> 01:38:57,934
Help him. Please help him.

1916
01:38:57,969 --> 01:39:00,310
Honey, I don't think
there's anything we can do.

1917
01:39:00,345 --> 01:39:01,641
SANTA:
It's okay. It's okay.

1918
01:39:01,676 --> 01:39:03,808
It's too late for that.

1919
01:39:03,843 --> 01:39:05,986
Too late.

1920
01:39:06,978 --> 01:39:09,781
I'm cold. (whimpers)

1921
01:39:09,816 --> 01:39:11,849
I haven't felt cold in years.

1922
01:39:11,884 --> 01:39:13,917
We need to keep him warm.

1923
01:39:14,986 --> 01:39:17,195
All of the fires are going out.

1924
01:39:17,230 --> 01:39:19,362
We need to find
something to burn.

1925
01:39:20,761 --> 01:39:22,200
I got an idea.

1926
01:39:25,370 --> 01:39:27,073
Whoa.

1927
01:39:28,736 --> 01:39:30,241
No.

1928
01:39:30,276 --> 01:39:32,474
No, no, no, no. No, Jason, no.

1929
01:39:32,509 --> 01:39:33,574
TRUDY:
Please, Santa.

1930
01:39:33,609 --> 01:39:36,379
I don't want you to die.

1931
01:39:39,747 --> 01:39:41,351
ALVA:
Jason, let's slow this down.

1932
01:39:41,386 --> 01:39:42,979
What are you doing?

1933
01:39:43,014 --> 01:39:46,356
I've lived longer
than any man should ever live.

1934
01:39:46,391 --> 01:39:48,985
He's pretty much dead.
What the hell is happening?

1935
01:39:49,020 --> 01:39:51,064
-You don't need to burn money.
-JASON: Okay. More. Yeah.

1936
01:39:51,099 --> 01:39:54,397
You can't die, Santa.
You have to get up.

1937
01:39:54,432 --> 01:39:56,894
I think I used up
all my Christmas magic.

1938
01:39:57,864 --> 01:39:59,402
Sorry.

1939
01:40:01,736 --> 01:40:05,375
I'm s... I'm sorry I can't
give you what you asked for.

1940
01:40:05,410 --> 01:40:06,838
(sniffling)

1941
01:40:06,873 --> 01:40:09,214
Take that. Take that.

1942
01:40:09,249 --> 01:40:10,644
TRUDY:
But you did.

1943
01:40:13,616 --> 01:40:15,748
Santa, please don't die.

1944
01:40:15,783 --> 01:40:18,421
Wake up. Wake up.

1945
01:40:18,456 --> 01:40:21,017
We need to get him
close to the fire.

1946
01:40:21,052 --> 01:40:22,887
Jason.

1947
01:40:23,824 --> 01:40:25,560
(crying):
Just wake up.

1948
01:40:26,596 --> 01:40:28,024
Please.

1949
01:40:28,059 --> 01:40:29,927
No.

1950
01:40:34,307 --> 01:40:37,407
Oh, I am so, so sorry.

1951
01:40:42,513 --> 01:40:45,184
-This man...
-(Trudy crying)

1952
01:40:46,253 --> 01:40:49,749
This brave, brave man,
whoever he was...

1953
01:40:49,784 --> 01:40:51,080
He's Santa.

1954
01:40:51,115 --> 01:40:53,423
The real Santa. He is.

1955
01:40:53,458 --> 01:40:56,327
And I still believe in him.

1956
01:40:57,330 --> 01:40:59,957
I'll always believe in you,
Santa.

1957
01:41:04,700 --> 01:41:06,436
I believe in him, too.

1958
01:41:09,672 --> 01:41:12,442
He saved Trudy.

1959
01:41:12,477 --> 01:41:14,543
He saved our family.

1960
01:41:16,712 --> 01:41:18,877
What's realer than that?

1961
01:41:22,850 --> 01:41:24,619
Then maybe...

1962
01:41:27,228 --> 01:41:29,162
I believe in him, too.

1963
01:41:30,154 --> 01:41:31,626
(sighs) So do I.

1964
01:41:32,662 --> 01:41:36,026
Oh, shit.

1965
01:41:36,061 --> 01:41:38,204
I guess...

1966
01:41:38,239 --> 01:41:40,305
I guess I do, too.

1967
01:41:40,340 --> 01:41:42,098
ALVA:
Fuck me.

1968
01:41:42,133 --> 01:41:43,869
I believe, too.

1969
01:41:49,041 --> 01:41:51,074
♪ ♪

1970
01:41:53,177 --> 01:41:54,352
(coughs)

1971
01:41:54,387 --> 01:41:55,815
(gasps) Oh, my God.

1972
01:41:55,850 --> 01:41:57,047
Santa!

1973
01:41:58,655 --> 01:42:00,226
(Santa grunting)

1974
01:42:00,261 --> 01:42:02,019
(panting)

1975
01:42:02,054 --> 01:42:03,493
JASON:
You...

1976
01:42:05,431 --> 01:42:07,233
You were dead.

1977
01:42:08,236 --> 01:42:10,896
Christmas magic.

1978
01:42:10,931 --> 01:42:13,470
I still don't really
understand...

1979
01:42:13,505 --> 01:42:15,175
how it works.

1980
01:42:16,904 --> 01:42:19,608
(Santa chuckling)

1981
01:42:20,941 --> 01:42:23,073
Thank you.

1982
01:42:23,108 --> 01:42:25,141
I don't know
how we can ever repay you.

1983
01:42:25,176 --> 01:42:27,077
Well, you brought me back
from the dead,

1984
01:42:27,112 --> 01:42:28,584
so we'll call it even.

1985
01:42:29,851 --> 01:42:31,323
(scoffs) Even?

1986
01:42:31,358 --> 01:42:33,688
We just burned
half a million dollars.

1987
01:42:34,724 --> 01:42:36,185
-Look, Santa!
-Hmm?

1988
01:42:36,220 --> 01:42:37,692
Look who came.

1989
01:42:37,727 --> 01:42:40,024
♪ ♪

1990
01:42:40,059 --> 01:42:42,092
(reindeer grunting)

1991
01:42:44,932 --> 01:42:48,340
Now you show up, huh?

1992
01:42:48,375 --> 01:42:49,902
You leave me here to die,

1993
01:42:49,937 --> 01:42:52,201
come back after
all the work's done, huh?

1994
01:42:52,236 --> 01:42:54,907
You know what? I should make
you guys into a stew

1995
01:42:54,942 --> 01:42:56,942
and feed you to the elves!

1996
01:42:56,977 --> 01:42:59,175
(reindeer grunting)

1997
01:42:59,210 --> 01:43:03,850
Yes, Blitzen!
Yes, I'm talking to you!

1998
01:43:03,885 --> 01:43:05,786
You, too, Prancer.

1999
01:43:11,255 --> 01:43:13,563
You got my sack.

2000
01:43:13,598 --> 01:43:17,435
My spare... You went home
and you got my spare sack?

2001
01:43:19,571 --> 01:43:22,198
Oh, God, I can't stay mad
at you guys.

2002
01:43:22,233 --> 01:43:23,936
I... (sniffles)

2003
01:43:23,971 --> 01:43:28,138
(chuckling):
Aw. I can't. I can't.

2004
01:43:28,173 --> 01:43:30,910
Aw. (chuckles)

2005
01:43:31,946 --> 01:43:34,045
Aw.

2006
01:43:34,080 --> 01:43:35,519
(sighs)

2007
01:43:38,953 --> 01:43:40,293
(chuckles)

2008
01:43:44,959 --> 01:43:46,596
Hello, beautiful.

2009
01:43:46,631 --> 01:43:48,301
Skullcrusher!

2010
01:43:55,706 --> 01:43:58,938
(takes deep breath)

2011
01:44:01,514 --> 01:44:03,107
Guess this is goodbye.

2012
01:44:03,142 --> 01:44:04,449
I got to go.

2013
01:44:05,551 --> 01:44:07,452
Do you have to?

2014
01:44:08,389 --> 01:44:11,016
(sighs)

2015
01:44:11,051 --> 01:44:13,249
It's Christmas Eve,
and there's a lot of...

2016
01:44:13,284 --> 01:44:14,855
boys and girls on the nice list

2017
01:44:14,890 --> 01:44:17,187
that want their presents,
you know?

2018
01:44:19,367 --> 01:44:20,894
Thank you.

2019
01:44:21,897 --> 01:44:23,633
For what?

2020
01:44:23,668 --> 01:44:25,470
For believing in me.

2021
01:44:25,505 --> 01:44:28,407
For reminding me
that Christmas still matters.

2022
01:44:30,136 --> 01:44:32,675
And that I still...

2023
01:44:32,710 --> 01:44:34,875
matter.

2024
01:44:34,910 --> 01:44:36,613
(sighs)

2025
01:44:36,648 --> 01:44:38,582
You gave me
my "ho, ho, ho" back.

2026
01:44:41,488 --> 01:44:43,279
(chuckling)

2027
01:44:43,314 --> 01:44:45,358
♪ ♪

2028
01:44:48,693 --> 01:44:50,858
All right. Get out of here.

2029
01:44:54,732 --> 01:44:57,403
Merry Christmas!

2030
01:45:00,067 --> 01:45:01,330
Hyah!

2031
01:45:01,365 --> 01:45:04,839
Now, Dasher! Now, Dancer!

2032
01:45:04,874 --> 01:45:06,973
Now, Prancer and Vixen!

2033
01:45:07,008 --> 01:45:10,339
On, Comet! On, Cupid!

2034
01:45:10,374 --> 01:45:13,386
On, Donner and Blitzen!

2035
01:45:13,421 --> 01:45:17,082
Come on, you beautiful bastards!

2036
01:45:17,117 --> 01:45:20,316
We've got some work to do!

2037
01:45:20,351 --> 01:45:23,396
Hyah!

2038
01:45:23,431 --> 01:45:26,025
Ho, ho, ho!

2039
01:45:26,060 --> 01:45:29,259
Merry Christmas!

2040
01:45:29,294 --> 01:45:31,371
♪ ♪

2041
01:45:33,265 --> 01:45:35,936
("Merry Christmas Everybody"
by Slade playing)

2042
01:45:40,481 --> 01:45:46,144
♪ Are you hanging up
your stocking on your wall? ♪

2043
01:45:48,379 --> 01:45:54,053
♪ It's the time that
every Santa has a ball ♪

2044
01:45:55,958 --> 01:45:59,762
♪ Does he ride
a red-nosed reindeer? ♪

2045
01:45:59,797 --> 01:46:03,469
♪ Does a ton-up on his sleigh? ♪

2046
01:46:03,504 --> 01:46:09,134
♪ Do the fairies
keep him sober for a day? ♪

2047
01:46:10,137 --> 01:46:12,445
♪ So here it is ♪

2048
01:46:12,480 --> 01:46:14,447
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

2049
01:46:14,482 --> 01:46:19,045
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪

2050
01:46:19,080 --> 01:46:22,378
♪ Look to the future now ♪

2051
01:46:22,413 --> 01:46:29,627
♪ It's only just begun ♪

2052
01:46:29,662 --> 01:46:35,358
♪ Are you waiting for
the family to arrive? ♪

2053
01:46:37,329 --> 01:46:39,472
♪ Are you sure you got ♪

2054
01:46:39,507 --> 01:46:42,937
♪ The room to spare inside? ♪

2055
01:46:44,809 --> 01:46:48,437
♪ Does your granny
always tell ya ♪

2056
01:46:48,472 --> 01:46:52,177
♪ That the old songs
are the best? ♪

2057
01:46:52,212 --> 01:46:55,180
♪ Then she's up
and rock-and-rolling ♪

2058
01:46:55,215 --> 01:46:57,622
♪ With the rest ♪

2059
01:46:57,657 --> 01:46:59,822
Hey, yo!
What's Gucci, squad fam?

2060
01:46:59,857 --> 01:47:02,957
It's the Bert Locker,
living the dream.

2061
01:47:02,992 --> 01:47:05,025
You know what? See this guy?
Dead as hell.

2062
01:47:05,060 --> 01:47:06,796
Santa's real, all right?

2063
01:47:06,831 --> 01:47:08,633
Don't end up
on the naughty list.

2064
01:47:08,668 --> 01:47:09,964
Do better.

2065
01:47:09,999 --> 01:47:12,098
Bert Lightstone out.

2066
01:47:12,133 --> 01:47:14,166
♪ So here it is ♪

2067
01:47:14,201 --> 01:47:16,168
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

2068
01:47:16,203 --> 01:47:20,612
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪

2069
01:47:20,647 --> 01:47:23,978
♪ Look to the future now ♪

2070
01:47:24,013 --> 01:47:30,182
♪ It's only just begun ♪

2071
01:47:30,217 --> 01:47:32,525
♪ So here it is ♪

2072
01:47:32,560 --> 01:47:34,527
♪ Merry Christmas ♪

2073
01:47:34,562 --> 01:47:37,827
♪ Everybody's having fun ♪

2074
01:47:37,862 --> 01:47:42,293
-♪<i> It's Christmas!</i> ♪
-♪ Look to the future now ♪

2075
01:47:42,328 --> 01:47:49,971
♪ It's only just begun. ♪

2076
01:47:50,006 --> 01:47:51,808
(song ends)

2077
01:47:51,843 --> 01:47:53,337
("Santa Has Had Enough of
Christmas" by Dom Lewis plays)

2078
01:47:53,372 --> 01:47:55,009
♪<i> Ding dong merrily on high</i> ♪

2079
01:47:55,044 --> 01:47:57,242
♪ Let's be good ♪

2080
01:47:57,277 --> 01:48:01,147
-♪ This coming yuletide ♪
-♪<i> Ding dong verily the sky</i> ♪

2081
01:48:01,182 --> 01:48:03,589
♪ Or you'll see ♪

2082
01:48:03,624 --> 01:48:08,924
♪ Kris Kringle's cruel side ♪

2083
01:48:08,959 --> 01:48:12,224
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪

2084
01:48:12,259 --> 01:48:15,359
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪

2085
01:48:15,394 --> 01:48:18,395
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪

2086
01:48:18,430 --> 01:48:21,431
-♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
-♪<i> Unhappy!</i> ♪

2087
01:48:21,466 --> 01:48:24,874
♪ He's told you once,
he's told you twice ♪

2088
01:48:24,909 --> 01:48:27,877
♪ Too much naughty,
not enough nice ♪

2089
01:48:27,912 --> 01:48:33,047
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪

2090
01:48:34,413 --> 01:48:37,348
♪ Where's the love
and where's the joy? ♪

2091
01:48:37,383 --> 01:48:40,549
♪ Always cash and never a toy ♪

2092
01:48:40,584 --> 01:48:45,796
♪ Santa Claus has had enough
of Christmas ♪

2093
01:48:45,831 --> 01:48:51,934
♪ Ah... ♪

2094
01:48:53,740 --> 01:48:55,872
♪ Santa's getting mad ♪

2095
01:48:55,907 --> 01:48:57,973
-♪<i> Don't you make Santa crazy</i> ♪
-♪ Better not be bad ♪

2096
01:48:58,008 --> 01:49:00,569
-♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪ -♪<i> Baby</i> ♪

2097
01:49:00,604 --> 01:49:03,308
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪

2098
01:49:03,343 --> 01:49:06,652
-♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
-♪<i> Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho</i> ♪

2099
01:49:06,687 --> 01:49:09,886
♪ If you don't want ♪

2100
01:49:09,921 --> 01:49:12,955
♪ Coal this Christmas ♪

2101
01:49:12,990 --> 01:49:16,123
♪ Deck the halls
with boughs of holly ♪

2102
01:49:16,158 --> 01:49:19,324
♪ Make sure you keep
Santa jolly ♪

2103
01:49:19,359 --> 01:49:22,558
♪ Don't make his reindeer ♪

2104
01:49:22,593 --> 01:49:27,134
♪ Cause you some pain, dear ♪

2105
01:49:27,169 --> 01:49:30,335
♪ Santa's getting mad,
better not be bad ♪

2106
01:49:30,370 --> 01:49:33,646
♪ Gonna go to bed on time
this Christmas ♪

2107
01:49:33,681 --> 01:49:36,605
♪ We don't want to be
on that list ♪

2108
01:49:36,640 --> 01:49:39,817
-♪ Santa Claus is gonna get ♪
-♪<i> Ooh-ooh...</i> ♪

2109
01:49:39,852 --> 01:49:42,578
♪<i> Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

2110
01:49:42,613 --> 01:49:44,415
♪<i> Ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

2111
01:49:44,450 --> 01:49:47,792
♪ Don't make him crazy ♪

2112
01:49:47,827 --> 01:49:49,288
♪<i> Ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

2113
01:49:49,323 --> 01:49:52,456
♪<i> Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

2114
01:49:52,491 --> 01:49:55,492
♪<i> Ooh-fa-la-la,</i>
<i>ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

2115
01:49:55,527 --> 01:49:58,803
♪<i> Ooh-fa-la-la, ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

2116
01:49:58,838 --> 01:50:01,674
♪<i> Ooh-fa-la-la,</i>
<i>ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

2117
01:50:01,709 --> 01:50:03,632
♪<i> Ooh-fa-la-la</i> ♪

2118
01:50:03,667 --> 01:50:06,679
♪ Hark, the herald angels sing ♪

2119
01:50:06,714 --> 01:50:09,473
♪ Dashing through the snow ♪

2120
01:50:09,508 --> 01:50:11,145
♪ On the first day
of Christmas ♪

2121
01:50:11,180 --> 01:50:12,850
♪ My true love gave to me ♪

2122
01:50:12,885 --> 01:50:15,611
♪ Good King Wenceslas
looked out ♪

2123
01:50:15,646 --> 01:50:18,515
♪ On the Feast of Stephen ♪

2124
01:50:18,550 --> 01:50:21,386
-♪ Jingle bells. ♪
-(song ends)

2125
01:50:21,421 --> 01:50:23,487
♪ ♪

2126
01:50:44,345 --> 01:50:47,049
♪ Ding dong merrily on high ♪

2127
01:50:47,084 --> 01:50:50,217
♪ In heaven,
the bells are ringing ♪

2128
01:50:50,252 --> 01:50:52,285
♪ ♪

2129
01:51:09,876 --> 01:51:17,948
♪ Glo-o-o-oria ♪

2130
01:51:17,983 --> 01:51:20,181
♪ Hosanna ♪

2131
01:51:20,216 --> 01:51:28,090
♪ In excelsis. ♪

2132
01:51:28,125 --> 01:51:30,191
(music ends)