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- [thud]
- [heavy metal music]
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- Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!
- [animals roaring]
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Oh, how I love it so!
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Of course, there are so many reasons
why animals throw down.
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- [bear roars]
- To protect, to defend territory,
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- for mating dominance...
- [snarls]
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...and just because animals
seem to find roughhousing way rad.
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[monkeys screeching]
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So, I figured, why not sit back,
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and watch them bash
each other's brains out!
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[kangaroo] Why are you hitting yourself?
Stop hitting yourself!
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[Mother Nature] Here, on my...
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Absurd Planet!
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[wind howling]
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Those guys we just saw duking it out
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are called elephant seals.
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Folks are always asking me,
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"How did you come up
with such a mush-faced
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mammal mashup anyway?"
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Worthy question, nerds.
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- [lively music]
- [elephant trumpets]
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I simply took the rubbery schnozzola
of the feisty elephant,
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combined it with the salty sleek seal,
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and voilà!
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[fart noise]
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One of the most beautiful creatures
on Earth,
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[chuckles smugly] if I do say so myself.
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[grunts and snarls wetly]
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Oh, hello, my pugnacious pretty.
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He sounds like a lactose-intolerant
old guy at a grilled-cheese convention,
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but those bubbling burp-like vocalizations
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are designed to make the ladies
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fall weird-head over flappy-flippers
for him.
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[grunting]
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And by the time the males
are eight years old...
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[grunting]
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...the battle for dominance begins.
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[snarling]
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- [heavy metal music]
- [Pedro] Q, you're about to get wrecked.
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- [video game music]
- [game VO] Let's begin.
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[heavy metal music continues]
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[chomping]
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[video game sounds]
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[chomping]
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[Pedro] Oh, yeah, there we go!
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[heavy metal climaxes]
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[Mother Nature] Way to go, Pedro!
Now, show me how you win gracefully.
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[Pedro] I win, I win, I win, I win...
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Uh-uh! That's not at all
what I had in mind.
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I win, I win...
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[dramatic music]
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Animals of the same species
tussle all the time,
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like two dads
fighting over who gets to man the grill.
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- [growling]
- But when push comes to shove,
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neither pudgy, sunburnt wuss
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is ultimately ready to stick his neck out
to wage war.
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- Unlike these typically mild-mannered Gs.
- [gentle music]
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Giraffes are often thought of
as one of the most gentle giants
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in the Sahara.
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Look at 'em. Just eating trees and stuff.
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[giraffe] Mm-mm.
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- [dramatic music]
- But today, these two alpha males
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standing over 19 feet tall
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and weighing in at 3,500 pounds,
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have one good reason
to check themselves
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before they neck-wreck themselves!
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- [female giraffe] Yoo-hoo, boys!
- [cheesy music]
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[Mother Nature] Girls! Duh.
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I don't know why they can't just
do something romantic,
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like write her a poem.
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[male giraffe]
Roses are red, your neck is long,
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I would really enjoy
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- if you played with my...
- [music slows down]
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[embarrassed] O-kay...
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[giraffe squealing]
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[Mother Nature]
Maybe fighting is better than poetry.
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[male giraffe] What?
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I was gonna say "gong."
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[gong crashes]
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[Mother Nature]
Anyway, the fight starts off simply.
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A little nudging here,
a little shoving there.
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But soon, the battle intensifies,
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and they whip their heads back and forth
at breakneck speeds!
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They're trying to knock
the other off balance.
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Or even knock the other one out cold!
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In the end,
the giraffe who loses the battle,
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hangs his head low and droops his ears.
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And the winner gets to enjoy
a little more necking
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with his new lady friend.
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[female giraffe] Ooh, you're so
randomly stronger than that other giraffe.
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[playful music]
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[Mother Nature] These are cormorants.
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Seabirds enjoying
their daily dive for fish.
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Looks like fun.
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Dive, gorge, repeat.
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But you remember that old chestnut
that goes...
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"Sometimes,
the hunter becomes the hunted"?
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- [menacing music]
- Hard to fathom this shark
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not getting to enjoy
his early-bird special.
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[menacing music continues]
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But nooo...
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[music ends]
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A fight that's over before it even starts.
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That attack turned out
to be water off a cormorant's back.
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For... now.
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[music reprises]
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[cormorant]
Heading into your stomach, chief.
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[Mother Nature] These next critters
are worldwide prizefighters.
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From Asia to Europe to North America,
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nothing can stop these winged warriors
from exchanging stinging blows.
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But unfortunately, back in Giraffe City,
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I can't stop these two dingleberries
from commentating on them.
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Thanks, Mother Nature,
we love you, too. I'm Brian.
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And I'm Bhryann.
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[driving rock music]
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- And we're...
- [together] The Battle Bug Bros!
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[Bhryann] We have got an epic match-up
today between the hornets and the bees!
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[Brian] Hold onto your flatbill bros,
because this place is about to get lit.
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[Bhryann] So lit! Check it out!
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The hornets are moving in on the beehive!
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They're gonna destroy all their larvae,
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and then they're just gonna
annihilate the whole hive after broseph.
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[Brian] Dude, those hornets have no chill,
Joe Brogan.
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[Bhryann] Straight-up savages!
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The hornets actually decapitate the bees,
cutting their bodies in half!
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[Brian] Dude, that's nasty.
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But hornets have a massive advantage.
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One hornet can easily shred,
like, 20 bees.
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[Bhryann] Wa-hoa! That hornet's eating him
like a little breakfast bee-rito!
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[Brian] Dude,
remember that girl at the burrito place?
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She gave me her number
but then you called her.
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[Bhryann]
Dude, her name was Betty Burrito,
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and she was, like, super annoying.
I said I was sorry!
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[Brian] You still owe me three tacos, bro.
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But wait! These bees have figured out
an extreme way
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of fighting back
against these gnarly hornets.
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[Bhryann] That's right, bro!
Epic comeback by Bee-town!
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The bees will surround
the hornet in a ball,
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and then vibrate their wings and muscles
to generate so much heat
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that they literally
cook the hornet to death.
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[Brian] The little bro-becue.
That's cookin' with gas!
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[Bhryann] Dude!
I hope we never fight like that!
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[Brian] We just did, bro!
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[Bhryann] I love you, Betty Burrito!
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[Brian] Too soon, dude!
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- [Bhryann] We are...
- [together] The Battle Bug Bros!
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[Mother Nature] Every great bruiser has
an adrenaline-inducing training regimen.
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Rocky... Van Damme... Mulan...
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[hard rock music]
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...Bieber.
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And in East Africa, there's an iron church
where some of the best creature combatants
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earn their stripes
by clangin' and bangin'.
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[hard rock continues]
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[gerenuk] I know what you're thinking.
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You look at me and you say,
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I wish I was lucky
like that gorgeous beast.
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He has killer genes.
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Wrong!
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We "jerenuks" have little use for denim,
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and number "B,"
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I didn't always look
like this chiseled, golden gladiator.
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[Mother Nature]
You're pronounced "gerenuk."
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But you're already ripped like Triple G.
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- What's your secret?
- Secrets are for ostriches, shorty.
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Just hard work, eating right,
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plants, veggies,
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physical fitness,
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and intense, vein-popping,
isometric flexing when I make stools.
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That's my gospel, Mona.
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[Mother Nature] So what kind of animals
work out at your gym?
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[gerenuk] Any animal
tired of getting rocked by predators,
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intruders on their turf,
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or ones just wanting to get ready for his,
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or her, woke special mate.
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Testify, wildebeest!
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[Ted] I used to run from lions
and cheetahs.
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Now I just walk right up to 'em
and get in their face!
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[gerenuk]
Great doorbell camera footage, Ted.
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See! The results are clear.
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[Mother Nature] So you're telling these
animals not to run away from predators?
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[gerenuk] I am.
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But results may vary.
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Like this result...
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which was bad.
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I built this gym with my blood, sweat,
deer tears and fears, Mother Nature.
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This is "Jerenuk's" Gym. That's me.
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I'm the "jerenuk." And I have this gym.
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[Mother Nature]
You're pronounced "gerenuk"!
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[gerenuk] Here at Gerenuk's "gim,"
I put the "buff" in buffalo,
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the "war" in warthog,
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the "hell" in gaz-hell,
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and the "hyah!" in hyena.
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[Mother Nature] And the "bull" in bull.
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[gerenuk] No! Days! Off!
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[hard rock ends]
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[birds chirping]
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[Mother Nature]
The most cinematic fight scenes
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always have the perfect musical score
to amp up the drama,
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and I think to not include
a heart-pumping musical montage right now
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would be downright... funk-ay!
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♪ Kick it! ♪
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[funk music playing]
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♪ Don't let me funk you up ♪
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♪ Ooh! I'm gonna funk you up ♪
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- ♪ Ow! ♪
- ♪ Don't let me funk you up ♪
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00:09:42,164 --> 00:09:44,166
♪ Ooh! I'm gonna funk you up ♪
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♪ Yow! It's a rumble ♪
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♪ In a jungle ♪
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- ♪ I'm about to lose my cool ♪
- ♪ Ooh! ♪
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♪ It's a clashing of the titans
You gonna be the fool ♪
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♪ It's a stingin' sensation
When you're cracked upside the head ♪
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♪ It's survival of the fittest
You got me seein' red. Ooh! ♪
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♪ I have big fists ♪
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♪ You have got sharp teeth ♪
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- ♪ I'm gon' knock you out ♪
- ♪ To this funky beat ♪
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♪ I'm gonna fight for my life ♪
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♪ You gotta fight for your life ♪
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00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:23,789
- ♪ I'm gonna fight for my life ♪
- ♪ Don't let me funk you up ♪
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00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:25,541
♪ I'm gonna funk you up ♪
220
00:10:25,625 --> 00:10:30,087
- ♪ You gotta fight for your life ♪
- ♪ I'm gonna funk you up ♪
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♪ Funk you up ♪
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♪ Hey! ♪
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[growling]
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[Mother Nature]
Not all animals fight for survival,
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or in the name of some
testosterone-fueled mating rage.
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- [thwack]
- Some of my fuzzy little furballs
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play "King of the Mountain"
for completely good-natured reasons.
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For fun!
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- [chirpy folk music]
- Like this wee marmot of North America.
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- Wait! Where's my marmot?
- [music ends suddenly]
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[man] I've taken your marmot.
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[Mother Nature]
You kidnapped my marmot?
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Why? What's the ransom?
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00:11:00,785 --> 00:11:01,619
[man] More.
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00:11:01,702 --> 00:11:03,162
[Mother Nature] More marmots?
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00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:07,792
Okay, but they're not what I would call
the easiest animals to keep as pets.
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- [chirpy folk music]
- All they do is play-fight constantly
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00:11:11,337 --> 00:11:14,674
and they're also known for their
high-pitched chirps and whistles.
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[high-pitched chirping]
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00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:20,262
In fact, they whistle so much
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00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:23,808
that Whistler Mountain in British Columbia
was named after them.
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00:11:23,891 --> 00:11:25,267
[man] Bor-ing!
243
00:11:25,810 --> 00:11:28,020
More... marmots!
244
00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:31,982
[Mother Nature]
Okay, but, plus... they love to eat.
245
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:34,902
- They never stop eating and whistling...
- [chirping]
246
00:11:34,985 --> 00:11:37,822
- and play fighting, and eating...
- [chirping]
247
00:11:37,905 --> 00:11:39,740
- But you're in charge, boss.
- [chirps]
248
00:11:39,990 --> 00:11:41,867
Take more marmots.
249
00:11:41,951 --> 00:11:43,828
- [man] Ugh! I was so wrong.
- [chirps]
250
00:11:43,911 --> 00:11:45,913
- These things are the worst!
- [chirping]
251
00:11:45,996 --> 00:11:47,498
- Stop play-fighting!
- [chirps]
252
00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:49,792
- Ah! Stop play-fighting!
- [chirping]
253
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:52,002
[Mother Nature] Good luck with all that!
254
00:11:52,086 --> 00:11:54,714
- [man] I swear, I'll find human friends!
- [chirping]
255
00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:57,591
For the love of everything
good and decent...
256
00:11:57,675 --> 00:12:00,094
- Take. Back. Your. Marmots!
- [chirping loudly]
257
00:12:00,511 --> 00:12:03,556
- [Mother Nature] 'Kay, byeee!
- [chirping]
258
00:12:04,056 --> 00:12:05,057
[new age music]
259
00:12:09,228 --> 00:12:10,228
[male moose] I...
260
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:11,813
am...
261
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:13,774
moose.
262
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,235
A giant...
263
00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:18,445
deer.
264
00:12:22,116 --> 00:12:23,576
My antlers...
265
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,953
are made of bone...
266
00:12:26,871 --> 00:12:27,955
velvet...
267
00:12:29,373 --> 00:12:31,083
and pride.
268
00:12:34,545 --> 00:12:35,545
Mad...
269
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,089
mating moose...
270
00:12:38,674 --> 00:12:40,134
must mess...
271
00:12:41,552 --> 00:12:42,552
with many...
272
00:12:43,345 --> 00:12:44,388
moose...
273
00:12:45,055 --> 00:12:46,098
males.
274
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:52,313
[yawning]
275
00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:55,107
I don't wanna fight...
276
00:12:55,900 --> 00:12:56,900
today.
277
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:58,778
Today...
278
00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:00,529
Today...
279
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:01,988
Today...
280
00:13:02,698 --> 00:13:03,741
Guess I'll...
281
00:13:04,241 --> 00:13:05,241
vam-...
282
00:13:05,826 --> 00:13:06,826
moose?
283
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,747
[salesman] Introducing
a new board game adventure
284
00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:11,749
from your friends in Absurd Games!
285
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,334
[all together] Yay!
286
00:13:13,417 --> 00:13:16,212
If you love boards, and you love hippos,
287
00:13:16,295 --> 00:13:20,674
then you're gonna shout "hip hip hooray"
for Hangry Hangry Hippos.
288
00:13:20,758 --> 00:13:22,301
[impersonates child] How do we play?
289
00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:25,221
[salesman]
This game is all about staying alive.
290
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,889
[impersonates child] How do I win?
291
00:13:26,972 --> 00:13:30,142
[salesman] Great question, Timmy!
In the African Sahara,
292
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,938
these fired-up hippos will show off
how big their jaws are
293
00:13:34,021 --> 00:13:38,484
to send a warning to any predator
to stay off their territory
294
00:13:38,567 --> 00:13:41,487
and to stay away from their mates.
295
00:13:41,570 --> 00:13:42,696
Fun, right?
296
00:13:42,780 --> 00:13:45,115
[Timmy] Those hippos seem angry.
297
00:13:45,199 --> 00:13:46,408
[salesman] Shut up, Timmy!
298
00:13:46,826 --> 00:13:49,578
If the hippo challenger
ignores the warning,
299
00:13:49,662 --> 00:13:52,206
then it's time to fight to the death!
300
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:54,416
[Timmy] Hippos die in this game?
301
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,210
[salesman] Ha! You bet they do,
302
00:13:56,293 --> 00:14:00,756
and that's why kids love the silly game
of Hangry Hangry Hippos!
303
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:02,633
[Timmy] I don't like this.
304
00:14:02,716 --> 00:14:04,385
[salesman] I said shut up, Timmy!
305
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:06,512
- [Timmy crying]
- [man] All hippos were harmed
306
00:14:06,595 --> 00:14:09,356
in the making of this Hangry Hangry Hippos
Board Game: The Commercial.
307
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:11,433
[anthemic rock music]
308
00:14:11,725 --> 00:14:17,231
[Brian] We're back with another epic fight
between two of Nature's gnarliest insects!
309
00:14:17,356 --> 00:14:21,610
Rhino beetle and then, like,
another rhino beetle!
310
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:25,447
- I'm Brian.
- And I'm Bhryann. And we're...
311
00:14:25,656 --> 00:14:27,741
[together] The Battle Bug Bros!
312
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:30,995
[Brian] These bros are really
sizing each other up!
313
00:14:31,078 --> 00:14:34,790
[Bhryann] Dude, in Asia,
sometimes these guys are kept as pets.
314
00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:37,501
[Brian] Whoa! Trivia alert, Einstein!
315
00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:39,545
Here we go, it's on!
316
00:14:39,628 --> 00:14:43,549
Looks like one beetle already has
the other beetle in a death grip.
317
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:46,093
[Bhryann] That rhino bro looks shook.
318
00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:48,387
But why are they even squabbling, dude?
319
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:50,306
[Brian] Excellent quest, bro!
320
00:14:50,389 --> 00:14:52,224
You'd think they'd just hug it out,
321
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:53,976
but they have these mega horns,
322
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,979
and they use them
to always battle each other over females.
323
00:14:57,062 --> 00:15:00,357
- Sound familiar, bro?
- [Bhryann] Dude, Shelly was my girl!
324
00:15:00,441 --> 00:15:02,484
I still can't believe
you took her to the luau.
325
00:15:02,568 --> 00:15:05,696
[Brian] Mahalo, dude! Shelly sucked!
326
00:15:05,779 --> 00:15:08,407
I promise, next luau, I'm taking you!
327
00:15:08,490 --> 00:15:10,326
[Bhryann] Ohana for life, dude.
328
00:15:11,368 --> 00:15:14,663
Anyway, it looks like this beetle's
about to do an epic body slam!
329
00:15:15,205 --> 00:15:17,708
Just like the legend Hulk Bro-gan, dude.
330
00:15:17,791 --> 00:15:21,170
[Brian laughing] Yeah, dude!
Rhino beetles use their big horns
331
00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,631
to lift and push each other around.
332
00:15:23,839 --> 00:15:27,927
The victorious beetle will eventually
break off the other dude's horn,
333
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:32,181
causing him to be, like,
extra embarrassed and run away.
334
00:15:32,640 --> 00:15:34,934
[Bhryann]
I'd never break off your horns, dude.
335
00:15:35,017 --> 00:15:38,395
[Brian] Thanks, man.
That would totally harsh our bro-jo!
336
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:39,647
And that was...
337
00:15:39,730 --> 00:15:41,941
[together] The Battle Bug Bros!
338
00:15:42,483 --> 00:15:44,323
- [Bhryann] Shelly, hit me up sometime.
- Dude!
339
00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:47,529
Not cool,
Bhryann with a "Y," "H," and two "N"s!
340
00:15:50,074 --> 00:15:52,534
[Mother Nature]
One of the most gratifying aspects
341
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,663
of watching
two of my most tenacious species
342
00:15:55,746 --> 00:15:57,831
beat the bubblegum out of each other,
343
00:15:57,915 --> 00:16:00,459
is wondering who's gonna come out on top.
344
00:16:01,001 --> 00:16:02,586
- [dramatic music]
- [fight bell dings]
345
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:04,046
So, in this corner,
346
00:16:04,129 --> 00:16:06,799
we have the Indian grey mongoose,
347
00:16:06,882 --> 00:16:09,009
found primarily in Asia.
348
00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:12,596
Mongooses are bold and inquisitive,
349
00:16:12,846 --> 00:16:14,264
but also wary,
350
00:16:14,848 --> 00:16:17,601
and rarely venture out far from cover.
351
00:16:18,602 --> 00:16:20,729
Beware the shy ones!
352
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:25,526
Mongooses and their kin,
like meerkats, are omnivores,
353
00:16:25,609 --> 00:16:28,779
their diet consisting mainly
of prey that they catch.
354
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,490
Such as scorpions, beetles,
355
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:33,325
other crunchy insects,
356
00:16:33,742 --> 00:16:37,538
and you can bet your Rikki-Tikki-Tavi,
357
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:38,998
also snakes.
358
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:43,043
- [mongooses snarl]
- Which leads us to our next competitor:
359
00:16:43,127 --> 00:16:44,837
The cobra snake.
360
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:47,548
Cobras are highly venomous,
361
00:16:47,631 --> 00:16:51,593
with the ability to rear back
and fan out their hoods when threatened.
362
00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,303
They have short fangs
363
00:16:53,387 --> 00:16:57,725
and a sinister talent
to inject neurotoxins into their prey.
364
00:16:57,808 --> 00:16:58,642
[cobra] Strike!
365
00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:02,479
Which is often a fatal blow
to the nervous system.
366
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:03,563
[cobra] Strike!
367
00:17:03,605 --> 00:17:05,232
So, sports fans...
368
00:17:05,315 --> 00:17:06,859
[cobra] Strike three, you're dead!
369
00:17:06,942 --> 00:17:08,610
...place your bets!
370
00:17:09,319 --> 00:17:13,991
Let's see what happens
when these two powerhouses collide!
371
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:16,076
[cobra] Hey, Mr. Mongoose.
372
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,661
I'm about to get loose,
373
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:19,413
and knock you on your caboose.
374
00:17:19,955 --> 00:17:21,248
Oh, hello, Mr. Cobra,
375
00:17:21,331 --> 00:17:24,835
I'm so sorry,
but I'm just gonna have to eat your baby.
376
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:26,462
[musical climax]
377
00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:31,967
- [spectators applaud]
- [announcer] And here we go!
378
00:17:32,593 --> 00:17:34,344
Ooh, watch out Daniel-san,
379
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:37,389
Cobra Kai is poised and ready to kill.
380
00:17:38,098 --> 00:17:40,017
The mongoose goes straight to work!
381
00:17:40,642 --> 00:17:42,644
And just like Ali in the jungle,
382
00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:45,189
the mongoose is trying
to exhaust the cobra
383
00:17:45,272 --> 00:17:46,940
with a little bit of rope-a-dope.
384
00:17:47,483 --> 00:17:50,277
Is he playing with toxic fire? Yes!
385
00:17:50,611 --> 00:17:53,614
Uh, wait a minute,
I was just handed a scientific note.
386
00:17:53,697 --> 00:17:56,158
The mongoose isn't playing
with toxic fire.
387
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:59,536
He's actually immune
to venomous snake bites.
388
00:17:59,661 --> 00:18:02,456
Harold, does that change
the judge's scorecard?
389
00:18:02,539 --> 00:18:06,126
[Harold] How would I know?
It's a mongoose fighting a cobra. Shut up!
390
00:18:06,210 --> 00:18:08,128
[announcer] And down goes cobra!
391
00:18:08,212 --> 00:18:10,214
- Down goes cobra!
- [spectators groan]
392
00:18:10,297 --> 00:18:11,632
Let's take another look.
393
00:18:11,715 --> 00:18:14,593
A spectacular move from the mongoose,
394
00:18:14,676 --> 00:18:18,806
as it accelerates and takes down
the mighty serpent.
395
00:18:19,223 --> 00:18:22,267
I am absolutely going to plotz!
396
00:18:22,351 --> 00:18:24,311
♪ I like-ah the pangolin ♪
397
00:18:24,394 --> 00:18:26,313
♪ I like-ah the horny toad ♪
398
00:18:26,396 --> 00:18:28,357
♪ I like-ah the man o' war ♪
399
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:30,317
♪ I like-ah the crab in the road ♪
400
00:18:30,400 --> 00:18:32,319
♪ I like-ah the Jumping Stick ♪
401
00:18:32,402 --> 00:18:34,279
♪ A super-engorged brown tick ♪
402
00:18:34,363 --> 00:18:36,323
♪ A magical unicorn tang ♪
403
00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:38,367
♪ A deer with a crazy fang ♪
404
00:18:38,450 --> 00:18:42,746
♪ And they like yooou ♪
405
00:18:43,455 --> 00:18:44,455
♪ Pah! ♪