1 00:00:35,285 --> 00:00:36,703 That is a good crowd. 2 00:00:37,037 --> 00:00:38,371 Will we disappoint you? 3 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:39,956 Who knows? 4 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:41,124 We don't know. 5 00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:43,001 We don't know what will happen. 6 00:00:43,084 --> 00:00:44,419 - No. - Why, Thomas? 7 00:00:44,502 --> 00:00:46,379 Because this is a completely improvised show. 8 00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,630 What does that mean? 9 00:00:47,714 --> 00:00:50,276 - Everything's made up. - What do you mean "everything's made up"? 10 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,886 You say something, I say, "Yes and..." 11 00:00:54,596 --> 00:00:55,722 So, if I say something like, 12 00:00:55,805 --> 00:00:57,390 "These meatballs are really tasty." 13 00:00:57,474 --> 00:01:00,060 I go, "Yes, and they are made of meat." 14 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,938 - And that... is improv. - That's improv! 15 00:01:06,941 --> 00:01:07,941 Great. 16 00:01:09,277 --> 00:01:10,361 - Wow. - Yeah. 17 00:01:10,445 --> 00:01:12,781 Wow, I hope we get to that meatball scene. 18 00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:14,240 Oh, man. 19 00:01:14,324 --> 00:01:15,324 It's a good scene. 20 00:01:15,450 --> 00:01:17,202 Oh, it's going to be a great scene. 21 00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:20,038 Neither one of those people sounded like stereotypical Italian people 22 00:01:20,121 --> 00:01:21,956 that might run an Italian meatball shop. 23 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,417 - No, we played it very kind of natural. - Very natural. 24 00:01:25,126 --> 00:01:28,421 But, if we get to a meatball scene in the show... 25 00:01:30,131 --> 00:01:30,965 Mamma Mia! 26 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:38,973 - Mamma... Mia. - We have to now. 27 00:01:39,182 --> 00:01:41,601 So, I ask you, this audience... 28 00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:44,354 what is something that you're looking forward to, 29 00:01:44,437 --> 00:01:46,147 or something that you're dreading? 30 00:01:46,231 --> 00:01:47,958 - Job interview! - Thanksgiving! 31 00:01:47,982 --> 00:01:49,901 - I heard... - I heard a job interview. 32 00:01:49,984 --> 00:01:52,505 I heard job interview. Job interview was the first thing I heard. 33 00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:54,249 It's a real thing? We'll ask more questions. 34 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:55,115 Yeah. 35 00:01:55,198 --> 00:01:56,592 - Okay, great. - When you explain it, 36 00:01:56,616 --> 00:01:58,409 maybe don't say the exact job just in case... 37 00:01:59,494 --> 00:02:01,496 But any specific, any character, 38 00:02:01,579 --> 00:02:03,265 anything you could tell us would be very helpful. 39 00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,892 - So, please tell us. - Is that coming up? 40 00:02:04,916 --> 00:02:08,753 Yeah, I'm gonna get an email soon, I don't know when, to schedule it. 41 00:02:08,837 --> 00:02:11,673 You're going to get an email to let you know how well you did 42 00:02:11,756 --> 00:02:13,633 in the job interview that you recently had? 43 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,761 No, I'm going to get an email telling me when the job interview is. 44 00:02:16,845 --> 00:02:18,485 Oh, okay. 45 00:02:18,513 --> 00:02:21,933 You're worried about even getting the job interview. Okay. 46 00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:24,102 You're like... very far back. 47 00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:27,981 You just had the idea that you wanted a job. 48 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,525 We can work with it. 49 00:02:30,608 --> 00:02:32,485 We can get with it. We can get there. 50 00:02:33,194 --> 00:02:34,195 Uh... 51 00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:35,947 So... 52 00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:38,824 What... 53 00:02:39,159 --> 00:02:42,078 What stage came prior to this? 54 00:02:42,162 --> 00:02:44,956 There was a video interview. Then this is round two of the interview. 55 00:02:45,039 --> 00:02:47,542 - Oh, man! This is a job. - Yeah. In person? 56 00:02:47,625 --> 00:02:50,336 Uh, it's either going to be in person or over the phone. 57 00:02:50,420 --> 00:02:53,381 So, you could potentially go from video to phone? 58 00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,082 Yeah, that's good. That's good. 59 00:02:57,135 --> 00:02:59,220 Now, let me hear what you sound like, baby. 60 00:03:03,433 --> 00:03:05,852 With... Can I ask, like, would this be with... 61 00:03:05,977 --> 00:03:08,062 This couldn't be possibly with the same person. 62 00:03:08,146 --> 00:03:10,541 It would be for a diff... You'd be interviewing with a different... 63 00:03:10,565 --> 00:03:13,401 The video interview was with an automated system. 64 00:03:16,654 --> 00:03:18,615 Okay, so your first round... 65 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:19,616 Who are you... Wait! 66 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:22,577 Who are you video chatting with 67 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,204 if it's an automated system? 68 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,956 Uh, what type of job is this? 69 00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:29,667 It's, uh... It's actually a photography internship 70 00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,629 for a... weekend... 71 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,590 A photography internship for... 72 00:03:35,673 --> 00:03:37,926 Uh, okay. It's for Saturday Night Live. 73 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:39,093 - Oh! - Oh! 74 00:03:39,177 --> 00:03:40,845 This motherfucker! 75 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:44,974 Whoo! 76 00:03:45,558 --> 00:03:46,558 Shit! 77 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:49,646 Man, you're living my dream. 78 00:03:51,147 --> 00:03:53,667 What would your job be? To take pictures of the sketches actually happening 79 00:03:53,691 --> 00:03:55,360 or backstage stuff? Or what is it? 80 00:03:55,443 --> 00:03:58,363 - I have no idea. - You don't know what you're applying for? 81 00:03:58,613 --> 00:04:01,407 It just said... It just said "Photography Department." 82 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,534 - My man... - Man, this is crazy. 83 00:04:03,618 --> 00:04:06,663 Multiple interviews for... an internship... 84 00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:09,874 ...that you don't even know what you do during. 85 00:04:11,292 --> 00:04:13,544 So when you say video interview, who was it with then 86 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:15,105 if it's an automated video interview? 87 00:04:15,129 --> 00:04:18,007 It was a weird system. It had, like... For example, it would say, 88 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,511 "You have 30 seconds to read the question and then a minute to record your answer." 89 00:04:21,594 --> 00:04:24,806 They're making you interview yourself? 90 00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:26,849 That, that is... 91 00:04:26,933 --> 00:04:28,768 - Wait. I'm confused. - No wonder... 92 00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:31,437 the fucking youth of America is disillusioned... 93 00:04:32,855 --> 00:04:34,565 ...with the employment process. 94 00:04:35,149 --> 00:04:36,901 What the fuck is that? 95 00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,861 - That's so mean. - Can you give us an example? 96 00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:41,698 It's, like, somewhat basic interview questions like: 97 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:44,325 "What has your previous experience led you to?" 98 00:04:44,409 --> 00:04:45,994 So, you asked yourself that? 99 00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,704 For real? 100 00:04:49,247 --> 00:04:51,517 What is your dream dream job out of everything at the end? 101 00:04:51,541 --> 00:04:53,459 Let's say 10 years from now, you would be... 102 00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,545 you would be beyond happy if blank happened. 103 00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,464 Working in the building that I'm applying for. 104 00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:00,925 - Ah, what a sweet boy. - As a photographer? 105 00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:02,176 - Anything. - Anything! 106 00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:03,862 You don't care about photography. 107 00:05:06,180 --> 00:05:07,932 Alright. Anything else? Any other... 108 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,768 Any other friends or characters you're taking along the way? 109 00:05:10,852 --> 00:05:14,480 Uh, there was another one of my friends who applied to the same position, 110 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,625 and I'm the one who got the interview. 111 00:05:16,649 --> 00:05:19,485 What's he like? What's that other friend, guy or girl, like? 112 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:22,989 Uh, he is just as passionate about it as me. 113 00:05:23,406 --> 00:05:25,033 Oh. Is it... Is it icy now? 114 00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:26,659 No. 115 00:05:26,743 --> 00:05:28,619 No, he got another... We applied to multiple. 116 00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:30,872 He got some, and I got some. So, yeah. 117 00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:32,415 Thank you very much. Give it up. 118 00:05:32,498 --> 00:05:33,916 - Give it up one time. - My man. 119 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,043 Cool. So... 120 00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:39,589 Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you Middleditch and Schwartz. 121 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:47,638 - The interview is beginning now. - Fuck! 122 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,608 Please read the following question. 123 00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,611 Um, can you hear me? 124 00:06:02,362 --> 00:06:03,422 - Please read... - Fuck! 125 00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:06,657 - ...the following question. - If you can hear me, you're talking now. 126 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:09,118 So, there's no reason for me to read the question. 127 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:11,204 Please read the following question. 128 00:06:11,287 --> 00:06:14,665 Um, "why do I want to be a photographer?" Oh, uh... 129 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,709 You now have five seconds to answer. 130 00:06:18,169 --> 00:06:20,171 Um... I'm not sure I do. 131 00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:21,339 Okay. 132 00:06:21,422 --> 00:06:23,049 Your time has expired. 133 00:06:23,132 --> 00:06:24,801 Okay. 134 00:06:26,344 --> 00:06:27,720 This is good. This is good. 135 00:06:28,513 --> 00:06:30,098 - Okay. - Next question. 136 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:32,475 Uh, "what is my biggest weakness?" 137 00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,852 - Okay. - You have 12 seconds... 138 00:06:34,936 --> 00:06:36,687 ...to respond. 139 00:06:37,105 --> 00:06:39,357 Okay, I guess my biggest weakness... 140 00:06:39,565 --> 00:06:42,735 uh, is that I'm, like, a little bit too neat. 141 00:06:42,819 --> 00:06:45,363 Um... Oops. 142 00:06:45,446 --> 00:06:47,907 - And... - Your time has expired. 143 00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:48,825 Good. 144 00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,636 If you can hear me, I won't need more than 12 145 00:06:50,660 --> 00:06:54,038 - for the rest of the questions. - The next question is a multiple choice. 146 00:06:56,624 --> 00:06:57,834 Okay. Can you read it? 147 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,752 I will read the question. 148 00:07:04,048 --> 00:07:06,634 Hey, can I ask you a before you do it? How am I doing? 149 00:07:07,343 --> 00:07:08,594 - At 1 a.m... - Fuck. 150 00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:11,305 ...on a Tuesday night... 151 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:16,102 do you find yourself most likely to be A: 152 00:07:16,769 --> 00:07:17,895 watching TV, 153 00:07:18,438 --> 00:07:21,065 B: watching TV... 154 00:07:21,149 --> 00:07:23,192 ...C: watching TV, 155 00:07:23,818 --> 00:07:27,071 or D: masturbating and watching TV? 156 00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:30,199 What time... What time at night? 157 00:07:32,034 --> 00:07:34,370 You have five seconds to answer the question. 158 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:37,457 Um... 159 00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:41,893 - Your time has expired. - Fuck! 160 00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:48,134 Your failure to answer the question has been noted. 161 00:07:48,259 --> 00:07:50,803 Fuck. I won't do it again. That is literally the last... 162 00:07:50,887 --> 00:07:52,305 I will not do that again. 163 00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:56,309 The next question... 164 00:07:58,227 --> 00:08:01,105 ...is a visual skills challenge. 165 00:08:05,943 --> 00:08:08,029 I know you probably can't hear me... 166 00:08:08,112 --> 00:08:09,530 To the best of your ability... 167 00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:16,420 - I don't understand what... - To the best of your ability... 168 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,331 embody... 169 00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:21,249 a gazelle. 170 00:08:24,670 --> 00:08:27,006 - To the best of my... - You have a full minute... 171 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:32,053 ...to embody a gazelle. 172 00:08:34,430 --> 00:08:35,430 Bonus points... 173 00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:39,936 for showing that you understand what a gazelle eats... 174 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:44,750 - What does this have to do with... - ...and is stalked and hunted by. 175 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:46,943 And what it's hunted by? 176 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:48,694 Correct. 177 00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:51,364 - You can hear me. - Uh... 178 00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:57,411 Uh... You have a one minute to complete the challenge. 179 00:08:57,495 --> 00:08:59,622 Can you show me on the screen a picture of a gazelle, 180 00:08:59,705 --> 00:09:01,165 just so I can copy it, please? 181 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,249 Oh, my God. 182 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,545 Here is a picture of a gazelle. 183 00:09:06,420 --> 00:09:07,420 Let me see it. 184 00:09:09,215 --> 00:09:10,216 Look at the screen. 185 00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:14,929 Alright, great. Thank you. Asshole. 186 00:09:15,012 --> 00:09:15,846 Alright. 187 00:09:17,890 --> 00:09:19,976 I can't tell. Am I on camera here? 188 00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:21,059 Yeah? 189 00:09:22,019 --> 00:09:23,187 Okay. One minute started? 190 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:26,148 - I feel like... - You have 50 seconds remaining. 191 00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:28,317 I feel like this is embarrassing 192 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,821 uh, because this has nothing to do with the job itself, and, um... 193 00:09:32,863 --> 00:09:34,423 - You have 40 seconds remaining. - Okay. 194 00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:36,951 Uh... 195 00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,954 Uh, fuck! 196 00:09:40,037 --> 00:09:42,957 That's it. Yeah, you're a... 197 00:09:44,875 --> 00:09:46,085 You're a gazelle. 198 00:09:47,545 --> 00:09:49,964 You're a gazelle, and you want this job, don't you, gazelle? 199 00:09:51,841 --> 00:09:54,093 You're gonna do whatever you have to. 200 00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:56,429 Oh, yeah. 201 00:09:57,346 --> 00:09:58,639 Bouncing around, yeah? 202 00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:00,391 Are you fast? 203 00:10:01,017 --> 00:10:02,768 Are you hungry, you little gazelle? 204 00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:05,771 - Show me what you eat. - I don't want to do this. 205 00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:08,649 Show me what you eat. 206 00:10:08,733 --> 00:10:11,068 There's some grass. You nibble at that. Yeah. 207 00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:15,239 - This is so fucking demeaning. - You're a hungry little gazelle. 208 00:10:16,365 --> 00:10:18,951 Oh, no, there's a male gazelle behind you. 209 00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:21,162 No. 210 00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:23,247 That's a minute, right? That's a minute? 211 00:10:24,332 --> 00:10:26,167 - Time has expired. - Great. Thank God. 212 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:28,628 All right. 213 00:10:28,711 --> 00:10:30,171 This is the final question. 214 00:10:35,426 --> 00:10:36,886 What do you stand for? 215 00:10:43,768 --> 00:10:44,852 Okay, how much time? 216 00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,605 You have one second to answer the question. 217 00:10:49,357 --> 00:10:52,193 - That's insane. - It is a single word response. 218 00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:54,445 Okay. Okay. Tell me when it starts. 219 00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:56,447 You may begin now. 220 00:10:56,572 --> 00:10:57,572 Kindness. 221 00:10:58,240 --> 00:10:59,742 Aw! 222 00:11:17,176 --> 00:11:19,929 - Did I get it? - Well done. Well done. 223 00:11:23,349 --> 00:11:24,475 Computer, shut down. 224 00:11:25,935 --> 00:11:27,269 Computer shutting down. 225 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:31,440 Uh... I'm so sorry. Who are you? 226 00:11:31,899 --> 00:11:32,899 Timothy... 227 00:11:34,318 --> 00:11:35,903 Great. 228 00:11:35,986 --> 00:11:37,321 - Timothy. - Timothy III. 229 00:11:37,405 --> 00:11:38,405 Hey, Timothy. 230 00:11:39,073 --> 00:11:40,991 - Timothy III. - Are you Timothy III? 231 00:11:41,075 --> 00:11:43,536 - I'm the Timothy III. - Oh, my God. 232 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:46,163 - I run this place. - This is incredible. 233 00:11:46,247 --> 00:11:47,164 Yes. 234 00:11:47,248 --> 00:11:49,041 - Yeah, so nice to meet you. - Yeah. 235 00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:52,920 My name was almost going to be Forne Bicheals. 236 00:11:53,003 --> 00:11:53,838 Yes. 237 00:11:55,047 --> 00:11:56,966 You're the head of this entire sketch show. 238 00:11:57,049 --> 00:11:59,176 But my mother, at the last minute, 239 00:12:00,219 --> 00:12:02,138 decided to name me Timothy III. 240 00:12:02,763 --> 00:12:03,973 I have no last name. 241 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,225 It's literally Timothy III. 242 00:12:06,684 --> 00:12:08,412 - May I ask you a question? - Yes, of course. 243 00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:10,604 Does that mean your father and your father's father 244 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:12,457 - were just named Timothy and Timothy II? - No. 245 00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:13,816 No, so this is a weird one. 246 00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:15,901 - My mother was an eccentric... - Okay. 247 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:19,363 ...but she instilled in me two things: 248 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:21,115 A work ethic, 249 00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:24,201 and a pretty crazy comedy bone. 250 00:12:27,705 --> 00:12:29,665 That is pretty crazy. I'm a huge fan of your show. 251 00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:32,251 One of the reasons why I want actually do photography for it 252 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:35,004 is because I... I grew up with it. I love it so much. 253 00:12:35,087 --> 00:12:37,339 Yes, yes, yes, we all grew up with it. 254 00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,345 - It's a very funny show. - Yeah, it's hilarious. 255 00:12:45,347 --> 00:12:47,808 - You're Kyle, correct? - I'm what? 256 00:12:51,145 --> 00:12:52,897 - Your name is Kyle. - Kyle, yeah. 257 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:53,980 Yeah. 258 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:58,527 It was a very peculiar video interview. 259 00:12:59,403 --> 00:13:02,048 - I just answered the question... - I'll review the footage. 260 00:13:03,449 --> 00:13:04,909 I'll review the footage with... 261 00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:07,036 excruciating detail. 262 00:13:07,828 --> 00:13:09,639 It seems if you have so much time to talk to me now, 263 00:13:09,663 --> 00:13:11,543 why wouldn't we just do the interview in person? 264 00:13:13,709 --> 00:13:15,294 - It doesn't work like that. - Okay. 265 00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,008 You'll be receiving an email. 266 00:13:22,843 --> 00:13:23,843 Okay. 267 00:13:24,428 --> 00:13:27,181 And then we can take this thing to the next level. 268 00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:30,024 - I would love that. - I'm thinking telephone. 269 00:13:32,186 --> 00:13:34,647 Uh... Okay. So, this, a confirmation email, 270 00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:36,565 then a telephone call for me to come in person 271 00:13:36,649 --> 00:13:37,849 to have an interview with you? 272 00:13:40,069 --> 00:13:41,069 No. 273 00:13:41,904 --> 00:13:42,947 But you'll see. 274 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,282 They all see in the end. 275 00:13:46,742 --> 00:13:47,742 Hey Timothy? 276 00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:49,328 - Uh... - I really, um... 277 00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,040 Me, the only person in the room. 278 00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:54,542 - You, Kyle. - Yeah. Kyle. 279 00:13:54,708 --> 00:13:55,543 Kyle, was it? 280 00:13:55,626 --> 00:13:56,627 - Kyle. - Go, Kyle. 281 00:13:56,710 --> 00:13:59,150 I just wanna say I've been watching your show for a long time. 282 00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:02,007 I'm sure everybody says this, but I'm, like... I'm a huge fan. 283 00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,851 And if I start here, I don't know where I go, 284 00:14:03,884 --> 00:14:05,946 but I will work my ass off for you. I guarantee that. 285 00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:08,615 I couldn't say that in the interview, 'cause they asked me to be a gazelle. 286 00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:11,725 Yes, it did, didn't it? 287 00:14:13,352 --> 00:14:14,436 Well, that's very... 288 00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:16,188 kind of you. 289 00:14:16,939 --> 00:14:20,067 I can't wait for you to hear that last... 290 00:14:28,742 --> 00:14:29,742 Oh, shit. 291 00:14:29,910 --> 00:14:30,786 I got an email. 292 00:14:32,538 --> 00:14:33,538 That was quick. 293 00:14:34,039 --> 00:14:36,417 Let me have it read itself. 294 00:14:38,669 --> 00:14:40,671 Uh... 295 00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:42,715 I could read it if it doesn't want to read itself. 296 00:14:43,674 --> 00:14:45,277 - You're... - Or maybe... 297 00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:50,014 Your Postmates order is ready. 298 00:14:53,142 --> 00:14:54,518 That's not how Postmates works. 299 00:14:56,145 --> 00:14:57,563 Usually just comes up on the app. 300 00:14:59,648 --> 00:15:01,400 - Uh... - Hey, hey, hey, Kyle. 301 00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:03,527 Hey, man, how'd it go? 302 00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,130 - Dude, it went amazing. - That's great. 303 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,030 Yeah, what's up, man? 304 00:15:07,489 --> 00:15:09,617 Oh, no, I hit your microphone a little bit. 305 00:15:10,951 --> 00:15:13,203 Oh, no, I hit your microphone a lot a bit. 306 00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,289 How do you think we fix it? 307 00:15:15,372 --> 00:15:16,457 I'm wearing a microphone? 308 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:20,669 Someone will come on stage if it fucked everything up. 309 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:22,254 I think I fixed it. Don't touch it. 310 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,006 Hey, what's up, man? 311 00:15:27,426 --> 00:15:29,762 - You didn't establish your name, right? - No. 312 00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:32,848 - Hey, Sawson? Let me say something. - Yeah. 313 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,141 I got in there, and no joke... 314 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:36,310 I went there. I talked right to this computer, 315 00:15:36,393 --> 00:15:38,520 right to the computer that was in there, right? 316 00:15:38,604 --> 00:15:40,624 I did this whole thing. And I think I did pretty well 317 00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:43,067 because afterwards, Timothy III came up to me. 318 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:46,041 - You talked to Timothy III? - Yeah, dude. 319 00:15:46,779 --> 00:15:48,489 Weird. 320 00:15:48,572 --> 00:15:50,449 Did you get in... Did you get your... 321 00:15:50,532 --> 00:15:52,284 Yeah, I did the video interview, yeah. 322 00:15:52,409 --> 00:15:53,702 Well, how did it go, man? 323 00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,079 Hey, um... 324 00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:58,374 Did they, uh... 325 00:15:58,457 --> 00:16:01,137 - This is gonna sound so dumb. - No, Sawson, come on. We're friends. 326 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:03,921 Did they, uh... 327 00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:09,802 ask you to get fucked by a gazelle as a gazelle? 328 00:16:11,720 --> 00:16:12,596 Sorry, I missed it. 329 00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:15,307 Did they ask me to get fucked? Say it again? 330 00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,062 Like, in a mime situation. 331 00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:21,897 Yeah, I played a gazelle. I was a gazelle. 332 00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,524 Okay, how far did you get? 333 00:16:23,607 --> 00:16:24,608 Because... 334 00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:31,323 In mine, after I ate the grass, he made me... 335 00:16:31,407 --> 00:16:33,283 - Yeah, I ate the grass. - Okay. 336 00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:34,994 How did you do it? 337 00:16:35,077 --> 00:16:37,204 Can you show me? I feel like my gazelle was weird. 338 00:16:39,415 --> 00:16:42,710 - I mean, I don't know what I... - Just show me what you did. 339 00:16:42,793 --> 00:16:44,604 If it's a minute long, I'll occupy every minute. 340 00:16:44,628 --> 00:16:46,548 So, I hopped right in there. I'm bouncing around. 341 00:16:46,630 --> 00:16:49,466 Oh, yeah. Oh, that's a good gazelle. 342 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:50,968 That's a good gazelle, yeah. 343 00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:52,970 And then, I'm eating the grass, right? 344 00:16:53,053 --> 00:16:54,263 Oh, yeah! Fuck! 345 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:55,556 Fuck. Now, yeah, fuck. 346 00:16:55,639 --> 00:16:58,267 And then he says, "There's a male gazelle behind you." 347 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,227 - I'm like, okay. - Yeah, and then I stopped. 348 00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:01,790 And that was where it stopped for me. 349 00:17:02,438 --> 00:17:04,582 'Cause I took so long in the beginning, they only had... 350 00:17:04,606 --> 00:17:06,525 No, it stopped for me there, too. 351 00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:08,693 Sawson. 352 00:17:08,736 --> 00:17:10,946 That's cool that Timothy III talked to you. 353 00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:12,150 Did Timothy III talk to you? 354 00:17:12,197 --> 00:17:13,197 No. 355 00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:14,992 Hey, can I ask you a question? 356 00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:16,617 Yeah. 357 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:18,453 Look at me. 358 00:17:18,620 --> 00:17:19,620 I already am. 359 00:17:22,624 --> 00:17:25,210 Did you have to pretend to get fucked by a bigger gazelle? 360 00:17:26,754 --> 00:17:27,880 I got kids, man. 361 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:30,716 I know, man. 362 00:17:30,799 --> 00:17:33,302 That's why it's insane to me you're applying for an internship. 363 00:17:35,345 --> 00:17:37,282 - I know it pays, but it's not a lot. - I got kids. 364 00:17:37,306 --> 00:17:39,016 I got kids, I'm in college... 365 00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:41,435 I know. It's a scenario that happens. 366 00:17:42,561 --> 00:17:43,687 Sawson, what happened? 367 00:17:44,813 --> 00:17:46,523 The male gazelle took me. 368 00:17:48,525 --> 00:17:50,110 Daddy, what did you say? 369 00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,653 Uh... 370 00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:53,614 Go to bed, Pawson. 371 00:17:56,742 --> 00:17:59,703 I was trying to, but you were making so much noise up here. 372 00:17:59,787 --> 00:18:01,371 It's just me and Kyle. We're talking. 373 00:18:01,455 --> 00:18:02,581 What's up, Kyle? 374 00:18:02,831 --> 00:18:03,916 Oh, what... what's up? 375 00:18:03,999 --> 00:18:06,376 Hey, it's cool to be in college, right? 376 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:08,045 - Yeah. - Cool to be in college. 377 00:18:08,128 --> 00:18:09,004 Yeah, you should go. 378 00:18:09,088 --> 00:18:11,131 Fraternities! 379 00:18:11,465 --> 00:18:12,925 - What? - Fraternities! 380 00:18:13,008 --> 00:18:14,384 Oh, yeah, yeah. 381 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,013 Us two photography students are definitely in a fraternity. 382 00:18:21,725 --> 00:18:24,144 Hey, when I grow up, I want to be just like you. 383 00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,063 - M... Me? - Yeah. 384 00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,988 You sure you don't wanna be like your old man? 385 00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:30,275 I heard you got fucked by a gazelle. 386 00:18:32,861 --> 00:18:33,946 Alright. 387 00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:35,531 Huh. What a cool kid. 388 00:18:39,785 --> 00:18:41,078 Whoever gets the job, who cares? 389 00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:44,164 - We're supposed to get the email in a bit. - You're right. I know, and I... 390 00:18:44,248 --> 00:18:47,251 I got some leads on some other stuff, but I don't want to fucking do it. 391 00:18:47,334 --> 00:18:49,086 I want the leads on your shit. 392 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,881 I don't want to fucking take pictures for The New York Times. 393 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:55,968 That's a huge... 394 00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:57,427 The New York Times! 395 00:18:57,970 --> 00:18:59,847 Dude, it's a huge publication. 396 00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:02,641 I want to do comedy! 397 00:19:03,934 --> 00:19:06,094 I mean, there's some funny stuff in The New York Times. 398 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:09,606 They want to send me away, overseas to get really engaging photos. 399 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,108 That's insane. Is that true? 400 00:19:11,191 --> 00:19:12,693 That's an amazing job. 401 00:19:12,776 --> 00:19:15,779 - Is that your lead? - Around the world to various conflicts. 402 00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:17,781 That's incredible. 403 00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,634 That's what they're offering? You got that job? 404 00:19:19,658 --> 00:19:21,285 I want to do jokes and bits. 405 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:27,583 When do you have your callback interview for The New York Times? 406 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:30,377 - Is it soon? - Yeah. 407 00:19:30,627 --> 00:19:32,880 - It's... today. - Great. 408 00:19:33,380 --> 00:19:36,216 Take it seriously. That job is amazing. 409 00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:37,926 For real, Saws. For real. 410 00:19:39,553 --> 00:19:40,553 Alright. 411 00:19:40,637 --> 00:19:43,140 Yeah, I guess. When's your callback... 412 00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:47,603 I mean, I got an email that says I should be expecting a fucking fax pretty soon. 413 00:19:49,771 --> 00:19:52,399 And if the fax goes well, I'm going to have this phone call... 414 00:19:52,941 --> 00:19:55,777 with, possibly, Timothy III. I don't mean to rub it in your face, man. 415 00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:58,280 I know you got a kid and you're in college, but it's like... 416 00:19:59,239 --> 00:20:01,325 But that New York Times thing. That's huge. 417 00:20:02,743 --> 00:20:04,036 - Yeah, I guess. - Hey. 418 00:20:04,745 --> 00:20:07,664 Just remember, no matter what, in 10 years from now, 419 00:20:07,789 --> 00:20:09,750 we're going to take pictures together, right? 420 00:20:10,417 --> 00:20:11,960 Yeah, what was our promise again? 421 00:20:13,629 --> 00:20:15,464 In 10 years... 422 00:20:16,757 --> 00:20:19,384 we'll be taking pictures together. 423 00:20:20,802 --> 00:20:21,802 Oh, yeah. 424 00:20:22,429 --> 00:20:23,429 Yeah. 425 00:20:25,724 --> 00:20:27,643 Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. 426 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,830 - You're gonna be great, okay? - And you're gonna be great too. 427 00:20:30,854 --> 00:20:32,231 - Thanks. - Hope you get that fax. 428 00:20:32,314 --> 00:20:34,114 - I'll go to mine, you go to yours. - Alright. 429 00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,158 Mr. Times? 430 00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,750 Yes? 431 00:20:52,459 --> 00:20:54,127 - Uh... - Sawson! 432 00:20:54,503 --> 00:20:55,712 - Sawson, yeah. - Sawson. 433 00:20:56,004 --> 00:20:57,214 We're expecting you. 434 00:20:58,382 --> 00:20:59,383 Come, come. 435 00:20:59,716 --> 00:21:01,635 - Door open or closed? - Huh? 436 00:21:01,843 --> 00:21:03,387 - Door open or closed? - Well... 437 00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:04,888 Nowadays... 438 00:21:05,347 --> 00:21:06,347 Take a seat. 439 00:21:14,815 --> 00:21:17,401 Sawson, I'll tell you something before you sit down. 440 00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:22,781 Every moment of this interview, starting when you sit in that seat 441 00:21:22,864 --> 00:21:24,491 is a part of the interview. 442 00:21:25,784 --> 00:21:26,784 Yes, sir. 443 00:21:27,286 --> 00:21:28,453 Sawson, take a seat. 444 00:21:32,749 --> 00:21:33,749 Why? 445 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:44,052 'Cause it's... my dream to take photos, sir. 446 00:21:45,220 --> 00:21:47,139 Okay, I'll give you a hypothetical. 447 00:21:47,222 --> 00:21:50,517 We take you to a foreign country. We are at arms with them right now. You... 448 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:51,600 - Boring. - What? 449 00:21:56,815 --> 00:21:57,858 What? 450 00:21:58,942 --> 00:22:01,382 You must have misheard me. I'll give you a different scenario. 451 00:22:02,029 --> 00:22:04,614 There's conflict, conflict at the White House. 452 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:07,784 The only way we can get in there is someone has to go in there, 453 00:22:07,868 --> 00:22:10,537 take the photographs that will give us the story that we need. 454 00:22:12,539 --> 00:22:15,334 Have you ever seen the movie Mission: Impossible, sir? 455 00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:18,712 Of course not. I work at The New York Times. 456 00:22:19,421 --> 00:22:21,381 I did a review... Someone did a review on it once. 457 00:22:22,132 --> 00:22:24,452 But if you want to read it, you have to get a subscription. 458 00:22:25,635 --> 00:22:28,472 You get to just see this much, and then you have to pay. 459 00:22:28,805 --> 00:22:30,891 Continue. 460 00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:33,351 Well... 461 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:35,019 I get a harness... 462 00:22:35,395 --> 00:22:36,813 put myself in the harness. 463 00:22:36,897 --> 00:22:37,773 I get to the roof. 464 00:22:37,856 --> 00:22:39,775 How I got to the roof, I can't tell you that. 465 00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:41,901 But I'm there. 466 00:22:42,527 --> 00:22:43,527 I find the vent. 467 00:22:43,945 --> 00:22:44,945 I go in the vent. 468 00:22:45,614 --> 00:22:47,657 - I'm squirming around in there. - Good. 469 00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:49,927 People in the White House are like, "What's that sound?" 470 00:22:49,951 --> 00:22:52,245 - Right. - If I need to, I'll whisper, 471 00:22:52,371 --> 00:22:53,955 "Nothing, don't worry about it." 472 00:22:54,831 --> 00:22:56,458 Sawson, this is very good. 473 00:22:57,167 --> 00:23:00,337 Sawson, this is very good and nothing like Mission: Impossible so far. 474 00:23:01,421 --> 00:23:02,421 I'm squirming around. 475 00:23:02,464 --> 00:23:04,925 I get to the exit vent where the documents are held. 476 00:23:05,008 --> 00:23:07,135 What are you gonna do now if this is your exit vent? 477 00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:08,419 Sawson, what are you gonna do? 478 00:23:08,470 --> 00:23:09,721 I open up the vent... 479 00:23:10,597 --> 00:23:14,518 I attach my harness to the, to the... top part of the shaft. 480 00:23:14,601 --> 00:23:17,104 Good, good, good. Be general about it. Don't know much. 481 00:23:18,438 --> 00:23:20,690 - And I lower myself in. - How fast? 482 00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:21,857 Slow. 483 00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:24,595 What happens if they can hear you? 484 00:23:24,653 --> 00:23:27,280 Is there some way you can make sure you don't talk too loud? 485 00:23:27,364 --> 00:23:29,699 I go... "Shh, stop talking so loud." 486 00:23:31,159 --> 00:23:33,203 And there's probably lasers, right? 487 00:23:33,286 --> 00:23:34,204 Yeah, there is. 488 00:23:34,287 --> 00:23:37,958 Now... I may be borrowing this from another movie, but, uh... 489 00:23:38,875 --> 00:23:40,377 I might do a little of this. 490 00:23:42,712 --> 00:23:44,714 Oh... 491 00:23:45,173 --> 00:23:47,175 Very nice. 492 00:23:47,926 --> 00:23:51,721 Very nice! 493 00:23:51,847 --> 00:23:54,641 Do you know what's insane? I totally forgot about that movie, 494 00:23:54,724 --> 00:23:55,851 and the second you did that, 495 00:23:55,934 --> 00:23:58,687 I realized I watched just that part 100 times. 496 00:23:59,646 --> 00:24:02,125 - I can't believe how perfect that was. - All teenage boys did. 497 00:24:02,149 --> 00:24:03,024 - Yeah! - Yes! 498 00:24:03,150 --> 00:24:05,068 Uh, isn't it fun being a teenage boy? 499 00:24:06,069 --> 00:24:07,404 Sir, you're a teenager? 500 00:24:07,487 --> 00:24:09,573 Well, I'm in college right now. 501 00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:12,492 Mr. Times, you're in college? 502 00:24:12,576 --> 00:24:14,119 - Well, yes. - Me too. 503 00:24:14,202 --> 00:24:17,539 The only way to keep up with the Times is to take someone who's younger. 504 00:24:17,622 --> 00:24:19,062 Keep up with the Times is my family. 505 00:24:19,124 --> 00:24:21,324 Keeping Up with the Times is my reality show. 506 00:24:23,253 --> 00:24:24,421 That worked out well. 507 00:24:26,256 --> 00:24:27,256 I like you. 508 00:24:27,716 --> 00:24:28,842 I like you a lot. 509 00:24:29,050 --> 00:24:30,050 Oh, really? 510 00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:31,136 Yeah, really. 511 00:24:31,845 --> 00:24:35,682 You know, we have this stupid thing the guys are trying to put on me. 512 00:24:35,765 --> 00:24:36,892 - Right? - What? 513 00:24:36,975 --> 00:24:39,436 They want to start a new humor section of The New York Times. 514 00:24:40,270 --> 00:24:43,523 - Ha. - I know. Ha, ha, ha, ha. How stupid! 515 00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:47,277 Who'd want to take pictures of comedians laughing... goofing around? 516 00:24:50,614 --> 00:24:51,614 You're hard, sir. 517 00:24:55,660 --> 00:24:56,495 Uh... 518 00:24:56,620 --> 00:24:58,497 It's nothing much, really? I mean... 519 00:24:58,872 --> 00:25:01,208 it's a... humble nine inches. 520 00:25:02,209 --> 00:25:03,502 Humble nine? 521 00:25:04,002 --> 00:25:05,212 It's a short nine. 522 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:06,505 Short nine? 523 00:25:07,047 --> 00:25:08,590 Yeah, she's a short nine, sir. 524 00:25:11,343 --> 00:25:12,343 Oh, this? 525 00:25:12,385 --> 00:25:14,065 - She's a short nine. - She's a short nine. 526 00:25:16,139 --> 00:25:18,808 I hope something happens, like hashtag shortnine. 527 00:25:18,934 --> 00:25:22,437 - Hashtag shortnine. - I told that guy to go fuck himself. 528 00:25:22,521 --> 00:25:24,314 No! 529 00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:25,524 Sir, uh... 530 00:25:26,024 --> 00:25:27,567 I know it's hardly my place. 531 00:25:27,651 --> 00:25:29,361 I'm a potential intern. 532 00:25:29,444 --> 00:25:30,946 I don't even have the job yet. 533 00:25:31,988 --> 00:25:34,157 But... to be truthful, sir, 534 00:25:34,449 --> 00:25:36,159 uh, comedy is a passion of mine. 535 00:25:36,243 --> 00:25:37,619 Yeah, right. Tell me one joke. 536 00:25:39,663 --> 00:25:42,165 Make me laugh. Make The New York Times laugh. 537 00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:45,709 If... 538 00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:49,506 What... does the sound a... doodie make? 539 00:25:50,715 --> 00:25:52,635 - What sound does a doodie make? - To remind you, 540 00:25:52,717 --> 00:25:55,136 you're interviewing for The New York Times. 541 00:25:56,054 --> 00:25:57,889 And right now, you've asked me: 542 00:25:57,973 --> 00:26:00,100 "What does the sound a doodie make?" 543 00:26:00,850 --> 00:26:02,185 The New York Times. 544 00:26:02,269 --> 00:26:04,437 Many call it the top of the top. 545 00:26:04,688 --> 00:26:07,124 - The most prestigious, the most brainy... - I understand, sir. 546 00:26:07,148 --> 00:26:09,234 You don't flip to the back and see a pun. 547 00:26:09,359 --> 00:26:10,777 You flip to the back and you see... 548 00:26:10,860 --> 00:26:12,279 Well, the back... it's different. 549 00:26:13,321 --> 00:26:14,364 But the front... 550 00:26:15,907 --> 00:26:17,033 The titles grab you! 551 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:20,078 So, your question to me is: 552 00:26:20,203 --> 00:26:22,205 "What does the sound a poopy make?" 553 00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:24,749 - "Doodie," sir. - What... 554 00:26:25,625 --> 00:26:28,086 I find that in humor, wording is very important. 555 00:26:29,129 --> 00:26:30,129 Very good. 556 00:26:30,255 --> 00:26:31,715 What does the sound a doodie make? 557 00:26:55,530 --> 00:26:58,325 That person has eaten way too much fiber. 558 00:27:00,785 --> 00:27:02,829 Can you not? 559 00:27:03,330 --> 00:27:04,414 The mustache, sir. 560 00:27:05,624 --> 00:27:06,624 It's new. 561 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:12,255 Alright. 562 00:27:18,970 --> 00:27:19,970 Expect a letter. 563 00:27:30,023 --> 00:27:32,233 Hey, yeah, this is... this is he. 564 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:33,359 Timothy? 565 00:27:33,693 --> 00:27:36,196 Go to the corner of 42nd and 1st. 566 00:27:37,739 --> 00:27:38,865 You want me to do what? 567 00:27:38,948 --> 00:27:41,951 Be there at 3:00 p.m. on the corner of 42nd and 1st. 568 00:27:42,035 --> 00:27:44,996 I am on 42nd and 2nd. 569 00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,248 So, I have to go one block east. It's about, uh... 570 00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:49,376 I guess it'll take like two and a half minutes. 571 00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:51,836 Oh. You're pretty close. Okay, well... 572 00:27:52,253 --> 00:27:53,373 What am I looking for? 573 00:27:53,421 --> 00:27:55,215 There's a ton of cars. This is New York City. 574 00:27:56,132 --> 00:27:57,050 Look for the... 575 00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:59,844 Oh, God. Look for the white Ford Fiesta. 576 00:28:03,264 --> 00:28:05,475 It's a custom license plate. 577 00:28:05,558 --> 00:28:06,935 What does the license plate say? 578 00:28:07,018 --> 00:28:09,187 It's a custom one. It says, "GOOFS." 579 00:28:11,022 --> 00:28:12,022 "GOOFS1." 580 00:28:12,982 --> 00:28:14,651 Okay, yeah. Do you want me to jump in? 581 00:28:14,734 --> 00:28:15,860 - Enter. - Enter. 582 00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:19,406 Uh, there's... 583 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:21,032 There's, uh... 584 00:28:21,116 --> 00:28:22,116 What the fuck? 585 00:28:26,538 --> 00:28:27,831 - Kyle. - Timothy. 586 00:28:28,331 --> 00:28:29,416 - The... - Third. 587 00:28:29,499 --> 00:28:30,333 Yes. 588 00:28:33,920 --> 00:28:34,920 Oh. 589 00:28:35,797 --> 00:28:36,797 Excellent. 590 00:28:37,173 --> 00:28:39,134 I believe we do this in this car. 591 00:28:41,094 --> 00:28:42,094 Safety first. 592 00:28:42,846 --> 00:28:43,680 Not me. 593 00:28:53,940 --> 00:28:54,940 Actually... 594 00:28:56,025 --> 00:28:56,860 What's wrong? 595 00:28:56,985 --> 00:28:58,611 Hey... 596 00:28:58,695 --> 00:28:59,738 Hey, hey, hey, hey! 597 00:29:01,114 --> 00:29:03,450 Hey. What's wrong, man? 598 00:29:03,742 --> 00:29:05,994 Everybody takes photos of the good times... 599 00:29:06,536 --> 00:29:07,536 the "ha-has," 600 00:29:08,329 --> 00:29:09,497 the knee slappers... 601 00:29:10,832 --> 00:29:14,377 but nobody takes photos of... me. 602 00:29:15,545 --> 00:29:17,255 This character makes me nervous. 603 00:29:18,006 --> 00:29:19,758 - Why? - Because... 604 00:29:21,634 --> 00:29:24,471 It's just... I'm worried about it being too real. 605 00:29:26,806 --> 00:29:28,349 Okay. For you personally? 606 00:29:28,767 --> 00:29:30,810 Or for who... whom the bell tolls? 607 00:29:30,894 --> 00:29:33,313 - For whom the bell tolls? - Okay. 608 00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:36,399 In order to make me feel better about it, can we give him something 609 00:29:36,483 --> 00:29:38,359 that really makes him totally different? 610 00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:39,860 Sure. 611 00:29:39,903 --> 00:29:41,343 Uh, he's got webbed feet. 612 00:29:41,404 --> 00:29:43,323 Okay. 613 00:29:43,531 --> 00:29:46,075 And also I own a cat farm. 614 00:29:48,661 --> 00:29:49,788 How's your cat farm? 615 00:29:50,079 --> 00:29:51,079 Great! 616 00:29:56,961 --> 00:29:58,421 Great. A pond in the middle. 617 00:29:58,505 --> 00:30:00,632 I swim like fucking lightning through that. 618 00:30:05,011 --> 00:30:06,346 - Great. - Alright, I feel better. 619 00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:12,227 Oh, no. 620 00:30:13,228 --> 00:30:14,521 One real thing of emotion. 621 00:30:14,604 --> 00:30:15,730 Yes, but... 622 00:30:16,523 --> 00:30:19,442 I'm nervous it's not going to happen... at the show. 623 00:30:19,734 --> 00:30:22,129 - Come on. Your show is... - We've gotta go elsewhere for it! 624 00:30:22,153 --> 00:30:23,363 Where do we have to go? 625 00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:24,989 - Overseas. - No. 626 00:30:25,073 --> 00:30:25,907 Yes! 627 00:30:26,032 --> 00:30:28,368 You've got to capture the goofs and the spoofs, 628 00:30:28,827 --> 00:30:31,120 and even the real moments overseas. 629 00:30:31,204 --> 00:30:33,164 I'm talking in war-torn countries. 630 00:30:33,248 --> 00:30:35,083 No, it sounds like you're literally sending me 631 00:30:35,166 --> 00:30:37,126 to some sort of New York Times mission. 632 00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:39,379 The New York Times. 633 00:30:39,963 --> 00:30:42,215 - That's your villain? - That's my rival. 634 00:30:43,341 --> 00:30:44,717 The sketch show's rival 635 00:30:44,801 --> 00:30:46,970 - is The New York Times. - The New York Times! 636 00:30:48,596 --> 00:30:49,596 Okay. 637 00:30:50,014 --> 00:30:51,140 Hey, don't look at me. 638 00:30:51,224 --> 00:30:52,392 I own a cat farm. 639 00:30:54,853 --> 00:30:56,771 - Sure. - I'm a simple cat farmer. 640 00:30:56,855 --> 00:31:00,024 Sure. Sure. Sure. 641 00:31:02,151 --> 00:31:03,695 - Uh. All right. - Here we are. 642 00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,949 Hey, man, you can't stop here. 643 00:31:08,032 --> 00:31:10,326 Hey, sorry. My friend owns a cat farm. 644 00:31:10,410 --> 00:31:12,537 We're just trying to get to the airport, to JFK. 645 00:31:12,620 --> 00:31:13,620 All right. 646 00:31:19,335 --> 00:31:20,211 Okay. 647 00:31:20,295 --> 00:31:21,629 You want this job, don't you? 648 00:31:21,713 --> 00:31:24,608 I need this job, but what I wanna do is take pictures of comedians and stuff. 649 00:31:24,632 --> 00:31:26,068 I don't wanna go to different places 650 00:31:26,092 --> 00:31:27,892 where battles are happening and take pictures. 651 00:31:28,428 --> 00:31:30,305 It's the only thing I could think of. 652 00:31:33,433 --> 00:31:35,226 I'll talk to you soon, I guess. 653 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:36,560 Yes. 654 00:31:36,769 --> 00:31:39,480 I guess I'll get on a plane to a different battlefield. 655 00:31:40,106 --> 00:31:41,274 Alright, sure. 656 00:31:43,776 --> 00:31:44,776 Hey. 657 00:31:46,279 --> 00:31:47,279 Oh. Sorry. 658 00:31:52,702 --> 00:31:53,702 Yes. 659 00:31:53,870 --> 00:31:54,870 Sorry. 660 00:31:55,747 --> 00:31:58,142 Sorry, I just need to take a shit before I get on the flight. 661 00:31:58,166 --> 00:31:59,000 All right, man. 662 00:31:59,083 --> 00:32:00,501 - Good to know. - Sorry. 663 00:32:00,877 --> 00:32:02,378 Hey, uh, hey... buddy. 664 00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:03,462 I am sorry. 665 00:32:03,922 --> 00:32:06,466 I didn't know you were zipping up your fly. I'm sorry. 666 00:32:06,549 --> 00:32:07,549 It's alright. 667 00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:10,094 I'll take a sh... I guess I'll take a shit. 668 00:32:11,679 --> 00:32:13,973 People don't usually just say "Hey" to me in the bathroom. 669 00:32:14,057 --> 00:32:15,475 - Then I'll say it. - Do I know you? 670 00:32:15,558 --> 00:32:16,809 - No, no, no, no. - Oh, okay. 671 00:32:16,893 --> 00:32:18,662 I'm a college student that's about to go to war. 672 00:32:18,686 --> 00:32:19,520 Alright. 673 00:32:21,648 --> 00:32:22,774 Have a good flight. 674 00:32:22,857 --> 00:32:25,193 - Alright. Well, really nice to meet you. - Yeah. 675 00:32:25,610 --> 00:32:27,070 Really nice to meet you. 676 00:32:28,446 --> 00:32:29,614 What a good dude. 677 00:32:30,531 --> 00:32:32,659 What a good fucking dude. 678 00:32:33,242 --> 00:32:34,410 What a nice guy. 679 00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:43,044 Oh, my God. 680 00:32:43,127 --> 00:32:45,814 - What's happening? What's happening? - I'm reading The New York Times! 681 00:32:45,838 --> 00:32:47,966 They got this new comedy column. 682 00:32:48,675 --> 00:32:49,759 The photos... 683 00:32:51,844 --> 00:32:52,844 Are they funny? 684 00:32:52,887 --> 00:32:54,639 Oh, my God! They're hilarious. 685 00:32:55,556 --> 00:32:58,267 - What's the guy's... - Unbelievable! I'm from New York! 686 00:33:00,061 --> 00:33:01,896 I'm from New York. I'm at JFK. 687 00:33:02,021 --> 00:33:04,273 That's a perfectly plausible thing. 688 00:33:05,316 --> 00:33:06,818 I'm... I'm from New York also. 689 00:33:06,901 --> 00:33:08,861 I grew up in Riverdale, then moved to Westchester, 690 00:33:08,903 --> 00:33:10,071 but this is how I speak. 691 00:33:10,154 --> 00:33:11,154 Riverdale? 692 00:33:11,364 --> 00:33:12,657 - No, not... - Like the TV show? 693 00:33:12,740 --> 00:33:14,117 No. It's like... 694 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:15,868 Never heard of it! 695 00:33:17,036 --> 00:33:17,870 Wow! 696 00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:20,873 Oh, dude, your everything bagel with cream cheese is on the ground. 697 00:33:22,542 --> 00:33:23,543 Oh, man. 698 00:33:25,294 --> 00:33:27,338 It went cream cheese side down. 699 00:33:28,006 --> 00:33:29,799 - Sorry, dude. - Ah! 700 00:33:31,926 --> 00:33:33,803 - Very cool, man. - Set it on my knee, there. 701 00:33:33,928 --> 00:33:37,432 You sound like the most New York person I've ever met in my entire life. 702 00:33:37,515 --> 00:33:39,559 Are you kidding me? Born and raised here. 703 00:33:40,226 --> 00:33:41,226 What borough? 704 00:33:41,811 --> 00:33:43,604 Fucking, fucking... 705 00:33:44,022 --> 00:33:45,398 King of Queens, baby. 706 00:33:47,150 --> 00:33:48,276 You're Kevin James? 707 00:33:48,401 --> 00:33:49,861 No, I'm not Kevin James. 708 00:33:49,944 --> 00:33:51,112 I know the guy, though. 709 00:33:51,738 --> 00:33:52,780 I'm just kidding. 710 00:33:52,864 --> 00:33:55,658 You know... I just... I'm from Queens. 711 00:33:55,742 --> 00:33:56,742 Okay. 712 00:33:57,785 --> 00:33:59,871 You got a favorite restaurant over there? 713 00:34:00,246 --> 00:34:01,122 Yeah. Are you kidding? 714 00:34:01,205 --> 00:34:03,833 It's this Italian spot. They do incredible meatballs. 715 00:34:10,089 --> 00:34:12,884 These guys, though, they are from Italy. 716 00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:16,095 I mean, they couldn't be more from Italy if they tried. 717 00:34:16,179 --> 00:34:19,640 Wait. Do I hear another New Yorker over there? 718 00:34:19,724 --> 00:34:21,184 Sure you do, pal. 719 00:34:21,350 --> 00:34:22,351 Oh, shit. 720 00:34:22,435 --> 00:34:23,811 What's going on? 721 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:26,355 It's Sal, Sal Galloni. 722 00:34:26,439 --> 00:34:29,525 Hey, Sal. It's me, Frankie Boops. 723 00:34:30,693 --> 00:34:32,278 Frankie Boops? I know youse. 724 00:34:32,361 --> 00:34:34,030 Hey, what's going on, man? 725 00:34:34,113 --> 00:34:35,531 Robert De Niro. 726 00:34:35,615 --> 00:34:37,909 - Bobby D! - Bobby D, baby! 727 00:34:37,992 --> 00:34:40,495 - Bobby D is a fucking hero. - Give me a break. 728 00:34:40,995 --> 00:34:42,121 Anyway, uh... 729 00:34:43,206 --> 00:34:44,373 Uh... 730 00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:48,252 we work for the TSA. 731 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:49,920 That's right. 732 00:34:50,004 --> 00:34:51,422 We work for the TS... 733 00:34:51,547 --> 00:34:54,050 We both took our break at the same time. 734 00:34:54,759 --> 00:34:57,678 That means nobody's really protecting anybody right now. 735 00:34:58,221 --> 00:34:59,347 And let me tell you... 736 00:35:00,681 --> 00:35:01,974 Both Boops and I... 737 00:35:02,350 --> 00:35:05,686 we love this new comedy column in The New York Times. 738 00:35:05,770 --> 00:35:08,606 I am reading it right now. The pictures are fucking hilar... 739 00:35:08,689 --> 00:35:13,486 The pictures are like when Scott Brosius was fucking batting in the Yankee lineup. 740 00:35:13,569 --> 00:35:15,249 You know what I mean? 741 00:35:15,279 --> 00:35:17,865 Oh, they hit harder than Mark Messier 742 00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:20,284 when he won the '94 Stanley Cup with the Rangers. 743 00:35:20,368 --> 00:35:21,285 Nice. 744 00:35:21,369 --> 00:35:24,664 Better than John Starks over Michael Jordan in the playoffs. 745 00:35:25,289 --> 00:35:27,291 - Better than... - Don't use hockey! 746 00:35:28,501 --> 00:35:29,877 Better than... 747 00:35:30,503 --> 00:35:31,587 Better than... 748 00:35:32,463 --> 00:35:33,463 when... 749 00:35:33,798 --> 00:35:37,468 Jay-Z bought the Brooklyn Hoops. 750 00:35:38,845 --> 00:35:40,888 Hey, you had a nice roll going there. 751 00:35:41,931 --> 00:35:44,308 - Anyway... - Pretty good, pretty good. 752 00:35:44,392 --> 00:35:45,643 Okay. Okay. 753 00:35:45,726 --> 00:35:48,229 Sorry, buddy. I forgot you were shitting in between us. 754 00:35:48,771 --> 00:35:49,897 No, it's fine. It's just... 755 00:35:49,981 --> 00:35:52,775 I didn't know The New York Times had a comedy column. 756 00:35:52,859 --> 00:35:55,361 Dude, I'll slip it to you. It's fucking hilarious. 757 00:35:55,444 --> 00:35:57,530 - Oh, yeah? - It is fucking hilarious. 758 00:35:57,613 --> 00:35:59,508 My friend was trying to get into The New York Times. 759 00:35:59,532 --> 00:36:02,618 - He was pissed because he had to go... - I don't care about your life. 760 00:36:04,620 --> 00:36:06,414 You know what I mean? 761 00:36:09,208 --> 00:36:10,668 Anyway, enjoy that. I'm done. 762 00:36:10,751 --> 00:36:12,503 - I've got to go TSA. - These are hilarious. 763 00:36:12,587 --> 00:36:13,880 I gotta go TSA. 764 00:36:13,963 --> 00:36:16,841 I gotta go get a fucking warm pretzel on the corner. 765 00:36:17,925 --> 00:36:19,010 Hey, take care, man. 766 00:36:19,135 --> 00:36:21,530 Hey, you remember to pull up your pants? 767 00:36:21,554 --> 00:36:22,554 Woopsie do! 768 00:36:24,140 --> 00:36:25,516 Woopsie do! 769 00:36:26,392 --> 00:36:27,810 Hey, quick question. 770 00:36:27,894 --> 00:36:29,979 - Did you wipe? - Not yet, my man. 771 00:36:30,062 --> 00:36:31,062 Out of sight! 772 00:36:31,105 --> 00:36:33,316 That's how we do it. New York! 773 00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:35,902 If you can make it here, man... 774 00:36:35,985 --> 00:36:38,613 - You can make it anyplace else. - Yep! 775 00:36:39,447 --> 00:36:41,699 That's good for copyright for this special. 776 00:36:44,577 --> 00:36:46,638 - Fuck! God! - Oh, man. 777 00:36:46,662 --> 00:36:47,830 Oh, my God. Fuck! 778 00:36:48,247 --> 00:36:49,332 Ah! Shit! 779 00:36:52,627 --> 00:36:53,627 Is that the... 780 00:36:54,253 --> 00:36:57,006 Sorry, man, I just see... Is that The Times down there? 781 00:37:00,051 --> 00:37:02,136 Oh, yeah. I guess some of the pages fell out. 782 00:37:02,929 --> 00:37:03,929 Yeah. 783 00:37:04,138 --> 00:37:05,681 I, uh, I take pictures for it. 784 00:37:06,891 --> 00:37:08,643 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 785 00:37:09,227 --> 00:37:12,688 Um... Oh, man. Hey, do you take pictures of this comedy column? 786 00:37:12,772 --> 00:37:15,107 - Because it's hilarious. - Yeah. It's me, actually. 787 00:37:16,817 --> 00:37:19,237 Are you sure? Because I'd probably recognize your voice. 788 00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:20,446 You're my best friend. 789 00:37:22,573 --> 00:37:23,866 Are you fucking serious? 790 00:37:25,451 --> 00:37:27,203 Sawson? No, am I Sawson? 791 00:37:30,623 --> 00:37:31,623 Am I? 792 00:37:32,124 --> 00:37:33,668 Yeah, you're Sawson. 793 00:37:34,835 --> 00:37:35,836 Kyle! 794 00:37:39,674 --> 00:37:43,886 So, describe the photo I'm looking at that I think is so funny. 795 00:37:43,970 --> 00:37:47,181 You're probably looking at the one where it's like a kid in the corner, 796 00:37:47,265 --> 00:37:49,058 but he's slipping on a banana peel. 797 00:37:50,768 --> 00:37:52,645 And this happened in, uh... 798 00:37:52,895 --> 00:37:55,123 - Norway. - Yeah. That's in Norway. 799 00:37:55,147 --> 00:37:55,982 Yeah. 800 00:37:56,148 --> 00:37:58,276 The war-torn country of Norway. 801 00:37:59,610 --> 00:38:02,214 - When will those guys sort things out? - When will we figure that out? 802 00:38:02,238 --> 00:38:05,198 - When will we figure those guys out? - When will we figure that thing out? 803 00:38:06,158 --> 00:38:07,660 - So... - How's your thing going? 804 00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:11,831 - Man, you're not gonna believe this, man. - Tell me. 805 00:38:13,040 --> 00:38:14,375 I'm going overseas. 806 00:38:15,418 --> 00:38:16,419 I'm shipping out. 807 00:38:16,669 --> 00:38:18,814 - What are you talking about? - I'm shipping out to Norway, 808 00:38:18,838 --> 00:38:20,548 but I'm not taking hilarious comedy photos. 809 00:38:20,631 --> 00:38:24,593 I'm taking intensely graphic, engaging photos of their... 810 00:38:25,344 --> 00:38:26,345 civil war? 811 00:38:28,931 --> 00:38:30,308 The Norwegian Civil War. 812 00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:31,684 The East versus the West. 813 00:38:32,059 --> 00:38:34,228 - The East versus the West of Norway? - Yeah. 814 00:38:34,770 --> 00:38:36,355 Norway is a very long... 815 00:38:36,439 --> 00:38:38,482 - Yeah. - ...north-south country. 816 00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:40,294 I know. It's crazy. It's right down the middle. 817 00:38:40,318 --> 00:38:41,819 - We're splitting this thing. - Yeah. 818 00:38:42,570 --> 00:38:45,281 Yeah, man, I mean... 819 00:38:45,364 --> 00:38:46,532 - It's crazy. - Yeah. 820 00:38:48,617 --> 00:38:49,617 Yeah, man. 821 00:38:51,245 --> 00:38:53,122 - Hey, can I tell you something? - Yeah. 822 00:38:53,914 --> 00:38:56,167 I don't know if I wanna be a photographer. 823 00:38:56,917 --> 00:38:57,936 What are you talking about? 824 00:38:57,960 --> 00:38:59,563 I don't think I ever wanted to be a photographer. 825 00:39:04,967 --> 00:39:07,178 Did you ever think at the beginning of this process, 826 00:39:07,261 --> 00:39:09,055 "Do you actually want to do this?" 827 00:39:09,680 --> 00:39:12,808 - Well, yeah. I mean... - I like taking photos. 828 00:39:12,892 --> 00:39:14,185 What's... What's changed? 829 00:39:14,268 --> 00:39:15,436 Everybody takes photos now. 830 00:39:15,519 --> 00:39:17,730 It's on your phone. Everybody's taking photos. 831 00:39:17,813 --> 00:39:19,690 Yeah, but lighting, composition... 832 00:39:19,774 --> 00:39:22,568 uh, uh... Canon 5D. 833 00:39:24,236 --> 00:39:25,988 Yeah, that is a type of camera. 834 00:39:27,990 --> 00:39:30,951 Well, uh... here's your work. Huh. 835 00:39:31,285 --> 00:39:32,953 Yeah. I don't need it. I took it, so... 836 00:39:34,830 --> 00:39:36,165 I just think I'm disappointing... 837 00:39:41,337 --> 00:39:43,089 Is that how you wipe in real life? 838 00:39:48,928 --> 00:39:50,763 I give it a spit sometime. 839 00:39:50,846 --> 00:39:53,057 How do you wipe in real life? For real. 840 00:39:53,140 --> 00:39:54,725 - I just showed you. - No. 841 00:40:00,940 --> 00:40:02,942 How big did it start as, just so I know? 842 00:40:03,901 --> 00:40:05,820 I get so much pride 843 00:40:06,278 --> 00:40:09,323 out of efficiently and carefully folding my TP... 844 00:40:11,492 --> 00:40:12,368 I can't tell you. 845 00:40:15,788 --> 00:40:16,788 All right, man. 846 00:40:19,083 --> 00:40:20,352 - I guess I'll... - Look at us... 847 00:40:20,376 --> 00:40:23,421 I guess we both got what we wanted and... 848 00:40:24,046 --> 00:40:27,049 it's not really, in the end, what we needed. 849 00:40:29,802 --> 00:40:31,053 Yeah, it feels like... 850 00:40:44,024 --> 00:40:44,942 Yeah, man. 851 00:40:45,025 --> 00:40:46,025 Um... 852 00:40:51,991 --> 00:40:53,909 It feels like in the end, it's like... 853 00:40:56,412 --> 00:40:58,612 Maybe we didn't know what we wanted. Maybe we were young 854 00:40:58,664 --> 00:41:00,976 and just went after a job we think was something we wanted, 855 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:02,960 but in the end, it's not that way at all. 856 00:41:03,627 --> 00:41:04,670 Is that... 857 00:41:04,920 --> 00:41:07,381 is that the moral of the story for this fucking guy? 858 00:41:09,550 --> 00:41:11,051 Well, it's my... That's my story. 859 00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:13,015 - I don't know what you feel. - I tell you what. 860 00:41:13,053 --> 00:41:14,053 I mean... 861 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:20,144 - This may seem crazy. - No, it's not going to seem crazy. 862 00:41:20,644 --> 00:41:25,191 If you're not that into it, or it could be just the subject matter. 863 00:41:25,524 --> 00:41:29,570 Maybe you didn't actually like taking photos of goofs, 864 00:41:30,321 --> 00:41:32,781 silly things, people slipping on banana peels. 865 00:41:33,073 --> 00:41:34,742 "What does doodies sound like?" 866 00:41:36,619 --> 00:41:38,245 Maybe you need something real. 867 00:41:38,454 --> 00:41:39,534 - Like what? - Real emotion. 868 00:41:39,580 --> 00:41:40,498 It's funny, actually, 869 00:41:40,581 --> 00:41:43,125 that's what Timothy III wants more than anything. 870 00:41:43,209 --> 00:41:44,835 I want to capture the real emotion. 871 00:41:45,586 --> 00:41:47,254 I want what you have. 872 00:41:48,756 --> 00:41:51,383 Taking funny pictures of people that are in trouble? 873 00:41:52,051 --> 00:41:53,051 Okay. 874 00:41:53,260 --> 00:41:54,571 Go. Tell me we what you're thinking. 875 00:41:54,595 --> 00:41:56,435 - Crazy. - I fucking love it. Go! We're in JFK. 876 00:41:59,225 --> 00:42:00,392 From this point on... 877 00:42:01,227 --> 00:42:02,770 I assume your identity. 878 00:42:04,730 --> 00:42:06,730 - How are we gonna do that? - I cease to be Kyle... 879 00:42:07,066 --> 00:42:08,651 - and I become Sawson. - Sawson. 880 00:42:09,527 --> 00:42:10,986 And then I stop being Sawson... 881 00:42:11,070 --> 00:42:12,571 - You become Kyle. - Great. 882 00:42:12,655 --> 00:42:14,782 I take your kid. He likes me better anyway. 883 00:42:15,533 --> 00:42:16,659 So far, I love this. 884 00:42:16,951 --> 00:42:19,119 I'm taking photos of jokes and funnies. 885 00:42:19,203 --> 00:42:22,456 Yeah, and I get to take photos of Timothy III being emotional. 886 00:42:22,540 --> 00:42:24,333 Okay, well... 887 00:42:25,626 --> 00:42:28,754 No one's going to really buy it. I mean, we look kind of different. 888 00:42:28,837 --> 00:42:31,066 I know, but we haven't really given ourselves characteristics 889 00:42:31,090 --> 00:42:32,210 that make it seem different. 890 00:42:35,052 --> 00:42:37,614 I can perform an ancient ritual 891 00:42:37,638 --> 00:42:38,722 to switch bodies. 892 00:42:43,352 --> 00:42:46,522 I'm a fucking asshole. I make a big fucking ball of it. 893 00:42:46,605 --> 00:42:48,399 I don't care. Fuck it. 894 00:42:48,482 --> 00:42:52,027 Paper comes from fucking wherever I want. There's no consequences of my action. 895 00:42:52,111 --> 00:42:54,488 I'll just do a big old fucking thing and wipe once, 896 00:42:54,572 --> 00:42:56,615 and then do another one, and wipe it again. 897 00:42:56,699 --> 00:42:59,427 - That's what I do. That's what I do. - Yeah, that fucking... Who cares? 898 00:42:59,451 --> 00:43:01,203 Who cares? There's no consequences. 899 00:43:01,662 --> 00:43:04,456 It doesn't fucking matter. We're all gonna drown in plastic anyway. 900 00:43:04,540 --> 00:43:07,209 Eleven years. Eleven years, that's what the UN says. 901 00:43:07,334 --> 00:43:08,210 Anyway... 902 00:43:09,712 --> 00:43:11,839 What a twist for the New Yorker. 903 00:43:12,673 --> 00:43:16,093 - I'm not a... I am a New Yorker. - Hey. Come here. Come here. 904 00:43:16,176 --> 00:43:18,220 What do we have to do for the body thing? 905 00:43:18,929 --> 00:43:19,929 Hold on. 906 00:43:20,973 --> 00:43:22,683 Yeah. Fuck it. Who cares? 907 00:43:23,726 --> 00:43:24,852 I'm that guy. 908 00:43:24,935 --> 00:43:26,735 I just pat it once, throw it fucking wherever. 909 00:43:26,770 --> 00:43:29,398 And I use this because energy's fucking free. 910 00:43:33,235 --> 00:43:36,447 I didn't think that New Yorkers were assholes until this moment. 911 00:43:38,490 --> 00:43:42,786 Alright, in order to perform the ancient body-switching ritual... 912 00:43:42,870 --> 00:43:44,079 I can't believe you know this. 913 00:43:44,163 --> 00:43:47,082 - Of course I know it. I'm from Queens. - You're from Queens... Okay. 914 00:43:47,750 --> 00:43:48,876 What do we have to do? 915 00:43:50,628 --> 00:43:51,628 Embody... 916 00:43:52,421 --> 00:43:53,631 the form of a gazelle. 917 00:43:57,426 --> 00:44:00,304 I, um... I don't want... I don't want to. 918 00:44:01,472 --> 00:44:03,390 You must embody the form of a gazelle. 919 00:44:04,224 --> 00:44:05,309 It is the only... 920 00:44:06,226 --> 00:44:08,312 animal that lets people switch bodies. 921 00:44:10,314 --> 00:44:11,940 Just do it. Come on, just do it. 922 00:44:12,274 --> 00:44:14,628 - Just do it. Just do it. - Alright. I'm fine. 923 00:44:14,652 --> 00:44:16,379 Good. Good. 924 00:44:16,403 --> 00:44:18,322 Look at each other right in the eyes. 925 00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:19,907 Yeah, look at each other. 926 00:44:20,366 --> 00:44:22,076 Now, one of you turn around. 927 00:44:29,375 --> 00:44:30,292 Please, man. 928 00:44:30,376 --> 00:44:31,794 I got fucked last time. 929 00:44:32,670 --> 00:44:34,546 - You did get fucked. - Yeah. 930 00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:37,508 Okay, so you know what it's like. You can do it again. 931 00:44:38,175 --> 00:44:39,175 I know. 932 00:44:39,259 --> 00:44:41,261 You don't know if he's going to make us fuck? 933 00:44:41,387 --> 00:44:43,389 - Yeah, so turn around. - Go for it. 934 00:44:44,723 --> 00:44:46,266 Rock paper scissors, shoot. One. 935 00:44:46,392 --> 00:44:47,392 - Okay? - One and done? 936 00:44:47,434 --> 00:44:49,395 That's it. It goes: Rock, paper, scissors, shoot. 937 00:44:49,478 --> 00:44:50,354 - Okay. - Okay? 938 00:44:50,437 --> 00:44:52,237 - Whoa! Is that what you're going to do? - No! 939 00:44:53,982 --> 00:44:54,817 - Okay. Ready? - Okay. 940 00:44:54,900 --> 00:44:56,461 Here we go. I think I know what you'll do. 941 00:44:56,485 --> 00:44:58,404 - Okay. - Because of what you threw down. 942 00:44:59,363 --> 00:45:01,363 - I'm almost certain I can get this. Ready? - Okay. 943 00:45:01,865 --> 00:45:04,785 - I'm 100% certain I'm going to beat you. - Okay. 944 00:45:04,868 --> 00:45:06,787 In real life, I really think I'll beat you. 945 00:45:07,538 --> 00:45:08,747 - Okay. - For real. 946 00:45:08,831 --> 00:45:10,582 - Yeah, I think... - I am so certain. 947 00:45:10,666 --> 00:45:12,209 I actually think you will too. 948 00:45:13,836 --> 00:45:15,689 'Cause I think I'm in your head a little bit now. 949 00:45:15,713 --> 00:45:16,714 - Yeah. - Okay. Ready? 950 00:45:16,797 --> 00:45:19,007 This is probably why I'm going to get fucked. 951 00:45:20,843 --> 00:45:22,845 We're animals. We're not people fucking each other, 952 00:45:22,928 --> 00:45:24,555 and it's consent and everything. 953 00:45:24,638 --> 00:45:26,890 Yeah, this is two gazelles consenting... 954 00:45:26,974 --> 00:45:28,892 - Yeah. - ...who gets to fuck who 955 00:45:28,976 --> 00:45:31,437 via a one-and-done rock paper scissors, shoot. 956 00:45:32,020 --> 00:45:33,020 Ready? 957 00:45:33,397 --> 00:45:35,190 - Alright. - I know you're gonna lose. 958 00:45:35,274 --> 00:45:37,151 I for real know. 959 00:45:37,234 --> 00:45:38,234 I think so too. 960 00:45:39,445 --> 00:45:41,113 And I don't know why I'm scared. 961 00:45:41,196 --> 00:45:42,614 - It doesn't matter. - No. 962 00:45:42,906 --> 00:45:44,408 This has no consequence. 963 00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:47,244 It will be recorded forever. So if you lose, everyone will know. 964 00:45:47,327 --> 00:45:49,496 Everybody knows I'm shit at rock paper scissors. 965 00:45:49,580 --> 00:45:50,956 You can change your answer now. 966 00:45:51,039 --> 00:45:53,519 I'll change mine if you change yours. Tell me if you'll change. 967 00:45:54,084 --> 00:45:56,003 - No. - Neither was I, you fucking idiot. 968 00:45:58,422 --> 00:45:59,423 - Ready? - Yeah. 969 00:46:00,048 --> 00:46:01,592 Rock, paper, scissors, shoot! 970 00:46:13,228 --> 00:46:14,438 Go on, get it over with! 971 00:46:15,272 --> 00:46:18,084 Whoa! You're not supposed to fuck each other! 972 00:46:18,108 --> 00:46:19,568 What the fuck is going on? 973 00:46:19,651 --> 00:46:21,737 - What? - What the fuck is going on? 974 00:46:22,321 --> 00:46:24,907 - Come on, I got a fucking soft nine. - Soft nine? 975 00:46:26,033 --> 00:46:27,576 Not a short, not a long? 976 00:46:28,285 --> 00:46:29,285 Okay. 977 00:46:29,411 --> 00:46:32,623 Now, both you guys look the same way so I can get the energy flowing that way. 978 00:46:32,706 --> 00:46:33,999 What the fuck was that? 979 00:46:34,958 --> 00:46:37,628 - We just look the same way? - Come on. Yeah, that's it. 980 00:46:37,753 --> 00:46:40,073 - Come on, Hudson River. Let's go. - Are we still gazelles? 981 00:46:40,130 --> 00:46:42,424 You're a gazelle. Get down on the fucking ground, man. 982 00:46:42,508 --> 00:46:43,842 - I don't know. - Here we go. 983 00:46:43,926 --> 00:46:45,636 Dude, you were gonna fuck me, man. 984 00:46:46,303 --> 00:46:47,655 I thought that's what you wanted. 985 00:46:47,679 --> 00:46:49,056 I didn't want any of this! 986 00:46:49,139 --> 00:46:51,699 Hey, George Washington Bridge! 987 00:46:53,185 --> 00:46:54,061 - Okay. - Alright. 988 00:46:54,144 --> 00:46:56,021 What? We're at the George Washington Bridge? 989 00:46:56,104 --> 00:46:58,482 No, I'm just saying New York things. FDR Drive. 990 00:46:59,316 --> 00:47:00,818 Remember when it was the 1-9? 991 00:47:00,901 --> 00:47:02,653 Okay. Turn around, look that way. 992 00:47:02,736 --> 00:47:03,736 Look that way. 993 00:47:04,196 --> 00:47:06,532 Look that way. You're looking that way. Okay. Here we go. 994 00:47:06,615 --> 00:47:08,116 Where's he lo...? Where am I looking? 995 00:47:08,200 --> 00:47:09,576 - Both look that way. - Okay. 996 00:47:09,868 --> 00:47:12,263 You gotta stare at the other guy, just like that while he looks that way. 997 00:47:12,287 --> 00:47:13,807 - Ready? - So, I'm staring at his butt? 998 00:47:13,831 --> 00:47:15,499 - Yeah. Okay. Ready? - Okay. 999 00:47:15,958 --> 00:47:17,793 Um, okay. 1000 00:47:17,918 --> 00:47:20,337 Ah, fucking Big Apple. 1001 00:47:21,171 --> 00:47:23,131 Empire State Building. 1002 00:47:23,215 --> 00:47:26,260 - Fucking Sbarro. - Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. 1003 00:47:26,343 --> 00:47:28,345 - Ah... - Whoa... 1004 00:47:29,096 --> 00:47:30,514 Bruh... 1005 00:47:30,597 --> 00:47:32,808 Whoa! 1006 00:47:34,351 --> 00:47:37,312 Where the fuck am I? Where are we? 1007 00:47:37,396 --> 00:47:39,815 - We're in the JFK men's bathroom. - Okay. 1008 00:47:42,317 --> 00:47:44,236 God you were so... That was great. 1009 00:47:44,319 --> 00:47:46,238 I'm... you! 1010 00:47:46,822 --> 00:47:47,822 I'm you. 1011 00:47:47,990 --> 00:47:51,159 Let's say our names at the same time to see who we think we are. 1012 00:47:51,535 --> 00:47:54,329 - Wait. Who we were, or who we are now? - Who we are now. 1013 00:47:54,830 --> 00:47:57,082 - One, two, three. Sawson. - Kyle. 1014 00:47:57,165 --> 00:47:58,165 Yes! 1015 00:47:59,334 --> 00:48:00,168 Great! 1016 00:48:03,922 --> 00:48:04,923 Where you going? 1017 00:48:05,007 --> 00:48:06,508 But I... Just to refresh... 1018 00:48:08,719 --> 00:48:10,304 I'm actually Sawson. 1019 00:48:10,971 --> 00:48:12,556 Correct. Who's now Kyle. 1020 00:48:12,639 --> 00:48:16,894 And my desire as Sawson was to do comedy. 1021 00:48:17,936 --> 00:48:18,936 - Yes. - Okay. 1022 00:48:19,438 --> 00:48:21,607 - Yeah, but was stuck doing... - Okay. 1023 00:48:22,691 --> 00:48:23,525 No. 1024 00:48:24,902 --> 00:48:26,320 No. No. 1025 00:48:26,528 --> 00:48:29,907 I want to do... I thought I wanted to do comedy. Now I want to... No. 1026 00:48:31,199 --> 00:48:34,161 Kyle... Kyle got the interview at... 1027 00:48:34,411 --> 00:48:36,580 Weekend Is All Happy. 1028 00:48:37,789 --> 00:48:40,310 - Kyle got that interview. Now, he's not... - Kyle doesn't want to. 1029 00:48:40,334 --> 00:48:42,414 He was on his way, the one who first sat down at JFK. 1030 00:48:42,461 --> 00:48:44,171 - So, Kyle wanted Sawson's body... - Yes. 1031 00:48:44,254 --> 00:48:45,547 ...because Sawson... 1032 00:48:47,174 --> 00:48:48,174 Fuck. What? 1033 00:48:49,217 --> 00:48:50,260 Okay. Ready? 1034 00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:51,845 - Kyle... - How did we lose this? 1035 00:48:51,929 --> 00:48:53,639 Uh, no, we're great! We're great! 1036 00:48:53,722 --> 00:48:55,223 Kyle was sitting right there. 1037 00:48:55,432 --> 00:48:56,308 - Right? - Yeah. 1038 00:48:56,391 --> 00:48:58,119 - Kyle was... - He was about to go on a plane 1039 00:48:58,143 --> 00:48:59,645 and take pictures of emotions. 1040 00:49:00,479 --> 00:49:01,897 - Right? - But did he want to? 1041 00:49:03,023 --> 00:49:04,023 - No. - Okay. 1042 00:49:04,274 --> 00:49:07,778 Kyle wanted to do what Sawson was doing. Sawson wanted to do what Kyle was doing. 1043 00:49:07,861 --> 00:49:09,780 - Okay. - So, Kyle now... 1044 00:49:09,863 --> 00:49:11,698 And Saw... Ready? So, Kyle... 1045 00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:14,159 Kyle has turned into Sawson. 1046 00:49:14,242 --> 00:49:16,745 Right? I'm Sawson now because of that. 1047 00:49:16,828 --> 00:49:18,246 And now, because of that, 1048 00:49:18,330 --> 00:49:20,123 I'm going to do what Kyle wanted. 1049 00:49:20,207 --> 00:49:21,333 Which was? 1050 00:49:21,833 --> 00:49:23,961 Which was the opposite of what... 1051 00:49:25,045 --> 00:49:26,463 So, wait. So, wait. 1052 00:49:26,838 --> 00:49:27,838 Okay, hold on. 1053 00:49:28,173 --> 00:49:30,634 I am Sawson. No, I am Kyle. 1054 00:49:31,343 --> 00:49:33,303 But I am Sawson within Kyle. 1055 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:38,475 And I want to take comedy photos. 1056 00:49:38,558 --> 00:49:39,601 - That's it. - Yeah. 1057 00:49:39,685 --> 00:49:41,019 - That's it. - And you're... 1058 00:49:41,103 --> 00:49:44,064 - um, Kyle within Sawson. - Yes. 1059 00:49:44,147 --> 00:49:46,459 And you wanna go take dramatic, overseas, emotional photos. 1060 00:49:46,483 --> 00:49:47,734 That's right. So your name is? 1061 00:49:48,735 --> 00:49:51,029 - Your outer name. - Kyle. I'm Kyle. 1062 00:49:51,113 --> 00:49:53,281 Oh, outer name is Kyle. My inner name is Sawson. 1063 00:49:56,910 --> 00:49:59,913 - This is the problem... - Hello, my outer name is Kyle, 1064 00:49:59,997 --> 00:50:03,000 but my inner name is Sawson, and I want to take comedy photos. 1065 00:50:03,083 --> 00:50:05,669 My inner name is Kyle, and my outer name is Sawson, 1066 00:50:05,752 --> 00:50:07,629 and I want to take dramatic people. 1067 00:50:07,713 --> 00:50:10,400 Thanks for sharing your stories, gentlemen. 1068 00:50:10,424 --> 00:50:11,883 By the way, if we're wrong, 1069 00:50:11,967 --> 00:50:14,678 this is the only time in our career that it's on tape, 1070 00:50:14,761 --> 00:50:16,555 so people will know if we're wrong or not. 1071 00:50:16,638 --> 00:50:18,849 - I think you guys are right. - Okay. 1072 00:50:19,725 --> 00:50:21,059 Nice to meet you, man. 1073 00:50:21,143 --> 00:50:22,477 What the fuck? 1074 00:50:29,317 --> 00:50:32,195 Alright, man, I guess this is so long. 1075 00:50:32,279 --> 00:50:33,697 Let's see if we can pull this off. 1076 00:50:33,780 --> 00:50:35,449 Hey, if we pull this off... 1077 00:50:35,866 --> 00:50:38,186 meet me at the top of the Empire State Building. 1078 00:50:38,702 --> 00:50:40,120 Hey. Of course. 1079 00:50:40,370 --> 00:50:41,413 Because you know what? 1080 00:50:42,289 --> 00:50:44,041 You know what happens in 10 years? 1081 00:50:44,916 --> 00:50:47,002 - Do you remember what happens in 10 years? - Yeah. 1082 00:50:47,085 --> 00:50:51,089 We take photos... together. 1083 00:50:53,258 --> 00:50:54,468 Thanks. That's our show! 1084 00:51:19,576 --> 00:51:22,913 ♪ 'Cause you're too cool Leopard print dress ♪ 1085 00:51:22,996 --> 00:51:25,707 ♪ Need to confess Don't waste more time ♪ 1086 00:51:25,791 --> 00:51:29,169 ♪ And let's go out tonight ♪ 1087 00:51:29,252 --> 00:51:31,797 ♪ Branded under satellite ♪ 1088 00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:34,382 ♪ Look cool ♪ 1089 00:51:38,011 --> 00:51:39,137 ♪ To stay full ♪