This is actually a great way to smoke weed.
I'm so high.
Good.
Can I ask you a few questions?
- Yeah. - Window or aisle?
Window, window, window.
I'll show you what I do.
I'm sometimes-- I'm the window,
and the one guy next to me is sleeping.
- Yeah. - I will legit do--
- Like, a ninja move. - Oh, shit.
I'm Tony Greenhand, and I'm the number one
joint artist in the world.
I make 100% smokable creations for high-end clients.
Damn!
And the only thing more rewarding...
- Than seeing their reactions... - Oh, my God!
Is smoking it with them.
Let's roll.
- Hi, I'm Nikki. - Nice to meet you.
Please, come in. Have a seat.
- You don't look like a stoner. - I don't?
- No, you don't. - What's that supposed to mean?
Are you a stoner or are you just like--
You don't look like a stoner. Are you a stoner?
I mean, yeah.
How do you make a joint for me? What do you wanna know?
Just, like, tell me about your career and, like,
you know, things that you've done.
Um, you know, I, uh,
started doing stand up when I was really young.
I have a radio show. I did "Dancing With The Stars."
I loved you in "Dancing With the Stars," by the way.
You are so full of shit.
- I got kicked off first. - Oh, damn.
Before the cast was announced,
it's, like, so secretive.
They give you all code names for yourselves
and one girl was, like, Diamond,
Sparkle, the next was Rainbow,
and then I was like, "Who's Titanic?"
And they were like, "That's you."
I was like, "Why?"
They were like, "Because your last name's Glaser
and, like, glacier."
So my nickname was a gigantic ship
where a lot of people died.
At least "Titanic" is a good movie.
I was obsessed with it in 8th grade.
Anything Leonardo DiCaprio did, I was just like,
him in that movie was the first time, like,
my vagina, like, started, like--
I could feel my heartbeat in my vagina sometimes.
You know when, like-- you have a penis.
We don't--I don't have that. Penises are different.
It's not like a heartbeat.
It's like my heart moved houses into my, like, penis
and my brain went with it.
It was boner time for sure.
So did I give you enough?
I'm gonna think about it a little bit
and by the next time I see you,
I'll have a joint we can enjoy.
And, what, you're just gonna go get high and get to work?
- Start rolling? - Yes.
All right.
Yes, that is exactly what I'm doing...
- But first I'm kicking you out. - Good luck.
All right.
Nikki mentioned something that got me really excited.
And that was the Titanic, baby.
This Titanic joint is gonna be the largest,
most intricate joint that I've ever done.
I gotta make smokestacks. I gotta make the propeller.
Maybe even an iceberg.
I'm gonna have to piece together hundreds of papers,
maybe even 1,000 papers.
These rigid walls will be the innards of the ship.
If this'll just stay down. Stay down!
Look, oppressed!
Now that I'm looking at the hull,
I've got a few concerns.
Big joints sag in different areas.
It's gotta be strong.
And I'm adding more paper to this paper.
I'm gonna double up the rolling paper
which will reinforce the strength
without hurting the smokability of the joint.
It's much more rigid as time goes,
especially the more glue I use.
It's about time we fill this with weed.
Pro tip: Mixing the weed like this
allows it to not cake up as easily,
which helps for air to travel through it.
I'm gonna make all the details that make the Titanic
one of the greatest ships of all time.
Little railings and the riggings
and the smokestacks, oh, my.
Yeah, this is gonna blow her mind.
- Are you ready to see this? - Yes.
Let me introduce you to the largest joint I've ever rolled.
Oh, my God.
It's the Titanic!
Oh, my God.
I got the mast; I have the smoke stacks here;
I got all the little windows.
Wow!
It's about six inches wide,
and it's almost three feet long.
- This is incredible. - Yeah.
And then here's the name. Hightanic.
Figured we'd change that up a little bit.
Oh, my God!
Under here is where you smoke the Titanic from.
I think people that died on this thing
would even enjoy this.
You've totally, um, given me a new perspective
on my nickname, The Titanic.
I'm proud to have been called Titanic.
- So-- - How do you smoke it?
We gotta bust it in half.
- Like the Titanic! - Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
- You wanna do the honors? - Yes!
I'll make a wish.
Okay.
Yeah.
- Yes. - That was so satisfying!
- Oh, sweet. - Aw, yeah.
Oh, my gosh.
How long would something like this take, uh...
- Two people to smoke? - Let's find out.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God! This carpet is burning!
Here you go.
- Okay, so I just do this? - Yep.
Yeah, I did it.
Perfect.
- Cheers. - Dude.
Oh, my God, the little trails of ash
look like people jumping.
Those poor souls.
So now that we're wrecked--
Fucking shipwrecked.
If you could smoke with any animal,
which would you choose?
I gotta go with, like, a parrot,
'cause, um, they'll ask me if I want a cracker
and if I'm stoned, you know I want a cracker.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Do you think dinosaurs could do that parrot shit?
Like, mimic their environment?
They pick shit up.
One time my bird--I swear to God, my parakeet said,
in my voice,
"Mom, I hate my fucking middle name!"
And I've never even said that.
He just, like, concocted a sentence.
- It's brilliant. - I hate my middle name, too.
- I love my middle name. - Oh, you do?
That's why I was, like-- I knew it was bullshit.
Oh, take that back. I'm not telling you then.
No, wait. What is yours?
Nope, nope.
- No, you gotta-- - Nope.
- Three, two, one. - Claudel.
Claude-- that's a cool name.
Horrible name. What the fuck?
No one has that name so that makes it cool.
- I'm so high. - Good.
Mission accomplished.