1 00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,261 {\an8}Good evening and welcome to Worm News. 2 00:00:10,594 --> 00:00:12,096 {\an8}I'm your host, William Worm. 3 00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,973 {\an8}Yes, and I'm Wendy Worm. 4 00:00:13,973 --> 00:00:15,891 {\an8}Yes, we know. First up, an election update. 5 00:00:16,267 --> 00:00:18,477 {\an8}Squiggly Miggly narrowly clenched the nomination today, 6 00:00:18,477 --> 00:00:19,520 {\an8}making him the main rival to the 7 00:00:19,520 --> 00:00:21,355 {\an8}highly unpopular President Jimble. 8 00:00:25,693 --> 00:00:27,445 Squiggly Miggly's definitely going to win. 9 00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:29,572 President Jimble has no chance. 10 00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:31,198 You never know, Allan. 11 00:00:31,198 --> 00:00:32,867 After all, President Ross Perot won 12 00:00:32,867 --> 00:00:35,202 re-election in 1996 in a major upset. 13 00:00:35,786 --> 00:00:37,121 Oh, you're so right, Pim. 14 00:00:37,455 --> 00:00:38,873 I forgot about that factoid. 15 00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:40,791 Who are you going to vote for, Charlie? 16 00:00:41,125 --> 00:00:42,126 I don't vote. 17 00:00:42,126 --> 00:00:43,294 OK, I'll tell you why right now, Pim. 18 00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:44,837 Listen up very carefully. 19 00:00:44,837 --> 00:00:46,714 Little guys like you and me we're called peons in this world 20 00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:48,466 and we don't decide who the President is. 21 00:00:48,466 --> 00:00:50,134 Come on, Charlie. That's silly. 22 00:00:50,134 --> 00:00:51,635 Every single vote matters. 23 00:00:53,220 --> 00:00:54,555 Look, I'm just not interested in getting involved in politics, 24 00:00:54,555 --> 00:00:55,556 Okay? Sorry. 25 00:00:55,973 --> 00:00:57,349 Hey, boys, 26 00:00:57,349 --> 00:00:59,977 guess who just got a call to make the President smile? 27 00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:10,613 The President will see you now. 28 00:01:13,574 --> 00:01:16,327 We do need corn, you dumb motherfucker! 29 00:01:16,327 --> 00:01:18,829 Send bombs, not corn, BOMBS! 30 00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:20,706 I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I, uh... 31 00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,541 You suck! You're bad at what you do! 32 00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:23,709 Quit Motherfucker! QUIT! 33 00:01:23,709 --> 00:01:24,543 Good to speak to you, too. 34 00:01:24,543 --> 00:01:26,086 Thank you. You're terrific. 35 00:01:26,754 --> 00:01:28,088 Oh, oh, hi. 36 00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:29,507 Are you two here to bring me my napkins? 37 00:01:29,507 --> 00:01:30,341 No. 38 00:01:30,341 --> 00:01:32,468 Okay, let me just buzz in... 39 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,807 Mr. President, we're the Smiling Friends. 40 00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:39,850 Oh, you's are the two... two's I called. 41 00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,435 I don't know if you heard, 42 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,187 but I was the Vice President to, uh... 43 00:01:44,188 --> 00:01:44,855 President Pinhead. 44 00:01:45,981 --> 00:01:47,775 He died last month from a bad shrimp, 45 00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:49,109 and I became the President. 46 00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:50,277 Yeah, we know. 47 00:01:50,277 --> 00:01:51,403 It was literally the bad shrimp. 48 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,446 Tragedy. 49 00:01:52,446 --> 00:01:53,948 But now I'm friggin' miserable 50 00:01:53,948 --> 00:01:55,574 since I became the President. 51 00:01:55,574 --> 00:01:58,494 All these trolls keep hating me, 52 00:01:58,828 --> 00:02:00,371 and I don't... I don't know why. 53 00:02:01,664 --> 00:02:03,374 Dude, no offence or anything, but have you ever thought 54 00:02:03,374 --> 00:02:04,792 that maybe you should not be President 55 00:02:04,792 --> 00:02:06,293 and maybe you should, like, I don't know, 56 00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,045 go lay on a beach or something instead and chill out? 57 00:02:08,546 --> 00:02:09,505 I can't. 58 00:02:09,505 --> 00:02:12,216 This upcoming election is by one ... 59 00:02:12,216 --> 00:02:14,051 to prove I'm not a fluke. 60 00:02:14,552 --> 00:02:16,220 I want to win something for once in my life 61 00:02:16,679 --> 00:02:18,055 so people will finally like me. 62 00:02:18,389 --> 00:02:19,473 President Jimble, 63 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,141 it doesn't matter how you got this job. 64 00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,476 What matters now is that you're 65 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,270 the one sitting behind that beautiful brown desk, 66 00:02:24,270 --> 00:02:25,646 and I believe that's destiny. 67 00:02:26,564 --> 00:02:27,857 Plenty of Presidents were unpopular until 68 00:02:27,857 --> 00:02:29,859 they found out they were good at one specific thing. 69 00:02:30,401 --> 00:02:31,819 We just need to find out what your thing is, 70 00:02:31,819 --> 00:02:33,237 and you'll definitely beat Squiggly Miggly. 71 00:02:33,654 --> 00:02:34,071 Yeah. 72 00:02:35,281 --> 00:02:36,824 You're sayin', I can be the lamb president. 73 00:02:37,408 --> 00:02:38,576 No, I mean, like, policy, 74 00:02:38,576 --> 00:02:39,660 like, presidential stuff. 75 00:02:40,077 --> 00:02:40,369 What? 76 00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:44,164 Um, anyway, luckily it's just a two-man race, 77 00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:45,082 so it shouldn't be too complicated. 78 00:02:45,875 --> 00:02:46,667 Uh, guys, 79 00:02:47,293 --> 00:02:48,752 I don't know a... 80 00:02:50,212 --> 00:02:51,839 It's no secret that President Jimble's A... 81 00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,924 is poor, angry and divided. 82 00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:56,886 That's why Mr Frog is running for President. 83 00:02:57,511 --> 00:02:59,138 America needs his calm and steady 84 00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,764 leadership to build a safer America. 85 00:03:01,265 --> 00:03:02,600 A prosperous America, 86 00:03:02,600 --> 00:03:04,101 a stronger America. 87 00:03:04,768 --> 00:03:06,353 Vote for Mr Frog, 88 00:03:06,353 --> 00:03:07,897 and together we can build 89 00:03:08,439 --> 00:03:10,441 Mr Frog's America. 90 00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,568 Hello, I'm Mr Frog and I approve this message. 91 00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,528 No, I don't. I hate you. Fuck you. 92 00:03:16,447 --> 00:03:18,032 Pim, That was amazing. I just got goose pimples from watching that. 93 00:03:18,407 --> 00:03:19,199 Charlie, don't look at that. 94 00:03:20,451 --> 00:03:21,285 Sir, have you ever tried giving a rousing speech 95 00:03:21,285 --> 00:03:22,536 and inspiring the people? 96 00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,370 Maybe it's your hidden talent. 97 00:03:23,621 --> 00:03:24,788 I feel nauseous. 98 00:03:25,247 --> 00:03:26,707 Nah, it's just your nerves talking, man. 99 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,416 You'll be fine. 100 00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,128 Hello, Transylvania! 101 00:03:31,128 --> 00:03:33,380 I know most of you don't like me, but I'm here to ... 102 00:03:33,380 --> 00:03:35,049 I can talk good and give a good speech. 103 00:03:37,259 --> 00:03:39,053 Oh. Excuse me. 104 00:03:39,595 --> 00:03:41,305 I think that lamb I had earlier was rotten. 105 00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:45,476 ! 106 00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:46,727 Okay, perfect. 107 00:03:47,811 --> 00:03:49,229 That adult diaper should help with any... 108 00:03:49,229 --> 00:03:51,315 unfortunate accidents while you're, ah, feeling unwell. 109 00:03:51,649 --> 00:03:53,233 Can we stop and get more lamb for lunch? 110 00:03:53,651 --> 00:03:54,985 No, no more lamb. 111 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:57,237 Pim, did you see Mr Frog just announced his plan 112 00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:57,947 to fix the economy? 113 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,990 Man, he is good. 114 00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,242 Grr, I'll show that toad bastard 115 00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:03,911 an ergonomic plan! 116 00:04:08,165 --> 00:04:09,124 Hello, America. 117 00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,668 I'm going to be the money president. 118 00:04:11,168 --> 00:04:12,336 Each and every one of you are going to get 119 00:04:12,336 --> 00:04:13,337 one billion dollars each 120 00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:14,838 so you can all be rich. 121 00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,341 Whoa, whoa, whoa. What are you doing? 122 00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:18,842 You can't do that. You'll crash the economy. 123 00:04:19,176 --> 00:04:20,761 Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to do that. 124 00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:22,221 Everybody's going to have to give 125 00:04:22,221 --> 00:04:23,514 back all that money to the government. 126 00:04:24,682 --> 00:04:26,350 By the way, sorry about those loud noises. 127 00:04:26,350 --> 00:04:28,060 That was just my diaper. 128 00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,853 I don't want to have another accident from the bad lamb. 129 00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:31,188 All better. 130 00:04:31,855 --> 00:04:33,107 Dude, check the news. 131 00:04:33,107 --> 00:04:34,692 It doesn't matter what channel. 132 00:04:34,984 --> 00:04:36,026 ! 133 00:04:41,865 --> 00:04:42,866 Am I winning yet? 134 00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,785 No, no, not at all, man. 135 00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:46,412 You shit your pants and crashed the economy 136 00:04:46,412 --> 00:04:47,454 within the same day. 137 00:04:47,454 --> 00:04:49,039 What are you talking about, dude? 138 00:04:49,039 --> 00:04:50,916 Pim - [sigh] Look, the one thing you've still got over 139 00:04:50,916 --> 00:04:52,543 Mr Frog is is that you're actually in office. 140 00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,128 If we can just get you this one easy 141 00:04:54,128 --> 00:04:56,046 foreign policy win, we can make a comeback. 142 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,215 I'm feeling sick again. 143 00:04:58,632 --> 00:04:59,717 Oh, my God, dude! 144 00:04:59,717 --> 00:05:01,176 Just get through it quickly. You'll be ... 145 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:19,987 Guys, I did it. I did it. 146 00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:21,238 I didn't get sick from the soured lamb. 147 00:05:22,364 --> 00:05:24,033 You... you were supposed to condemn him. 148 00:05:24,742 --> 00:05:25,534 What? 149 00:05:26,744 --> 00:05:27,828 You just emboldened a war criminal dictator. 150 00:05:29,038 --> 00:05:29,663 Dude, I don't know anything about politics, 151 00:05:29,663 --> 00:05:30,414 even I know he's bad. 152 00:05:31,331 --> 00:05:32,416 He wiped a whole fucking race of 153 00:05:32,416 --> 00:05:33,417 people off the face of the planet. 154 00:05:34,585 --> 00:05:35,836 Maybe it will be all right. 155 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:41,967 All right, so it looks like you're projected to 156 00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,677 lose every single state 157 00:05:43,677 --> 00:05:45,554 in what could be a historic landslide for Mr Frog. 158 00:05:46,764 --> 00:05:48,098 But we still have the debate, I guess. 159 00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,059 De-bate. 160 00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:52,061 Haha. Debate. 161 00:05:52,895 --> 00:05:54,438 If you think about it, that's a funny word. 162 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:55,939 De-bate. 163 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:57,066 Thank you. 164 00:05:58,776 --> 00:06:00,027 Pim, I can't do this anymore. I'm done. 165 00:06:00,027 --> 00:06:00,819 I'm bailing. 166 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:01,570 All right. 167 00:06:03,405 --> 00:06:04,198 Who was that guy? 168 00:06:04,198 --> 00:06:05,407 What? 169 00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:08,243 Ugh, maybe we shouldn't even do the debate. 170 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,412 Look, I know my brain don't work no good sometimes, 171 00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:12,623 but what about all that stuff you told me? 172 00:06:12,623 --> 00:06:15,459 I promise I'll get out there and try my hardest this time. 173 00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,252 Yeah, you're right. 174 00:06:18,295 --> 00:06:19,129 No, I'm left. 175 00:06:20,964 --> 00:06:21,757 Left-handed. 176 00:06:23,550 --> 00:06:24,718 Man, this place is a labyrinth. 177 00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:25,761 How the hell do I get out of here? 178 00:06:29,306 --> 00:06:31,141 Oh, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to find my way out of here. 179 00:06:31,558 --> 00:06:32,893 That's okay. We're just an all-powerful 180 00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:34,895 secret society that you shouldn't know about. 181 00:06:35,229 --> 00:06:38,357 We're just implementing our insane secret plan to elect Mr Frog 182 00:06:38,357 --> 00:06:40,150 through mass media manipulation. 183 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:41,735 I knew it. I knew the voters didn't 184 00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:42,778 actually pick the president. 185 00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:44,780 Yes, and now that you know our plan, 186 00:06:44,780 --> 00:06:45,989 we're going to cover you in dirt 187 00:06:45,989 --> 00:06:48,408 and slowly devour you because we're worms. 188 00:06:48,784 --> 00:06:50,327 No, I'm actually cool with your guy's plan, 189 00:06:50,327 --> 00:06:51,328 the current guy's a bonehead. 190 00:06:51,662 --> 00:06:53,247 Oh, really? Cool. 191 00:06:53,247 --> 00:06:55,666 Yeah, Mr Frog's chaos is exactly what we need to 192 00:06:55,666 --> 00:06:57,543 expand our power. Join us. 193 00:06:57,543 --> 00:07:00,504 Sorry, I can't betray my friend. He's helping President Jimble. 194 00:07:00,504 --> 00:07:03,006 But I really am a big fan of Mr Frog, like a huge fan. 195 00:07:03,006 --> 00:07:04,258 I love when he eats the bug on the show. 196 00:07:04,591 --> 00:07:06,426 He-- He does what? 197 00:07:06,426 --> 00:07:07,553 Yeah, you know, when he grabs the 198 00:07:07,553 --> 00:07:08,846 bug on the Mr Frog show and eats it, 199 00:07:08,846 --> 00:07:10,055 it's like his whole thing. 200 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:13,058 Oh my God! Aren't we a type of bug? 201 00:07:14,893 --> 00:07:16,687 Wait, stop! Wait, stop! 202 00:07:16,687 --> 00:07:18,313 Everyone just stop! Let's just make sure. 203 00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:21,984 Do frogs eat worms? 204 00:07:23,819 --> 00:07:25,070 Yes, yes they do! 205 00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,823 Oh my God, that's TOO much chaos! 206 00:07:28,198 --> 00:07:29,741 We're totally going to support President Jimble now. 207 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,201 He doesn't eat worms, he only eats lamb. 208 00:07:32,953 --> 00:07:33,871 Wait, no, no, no, no, no! 209 00:07:33,871 --> 00:07:34,580 Decisions final. 210 00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:35,455 Goodbye. 211 00:07:41,420 --> 00:07:43,297 Good evening. I'm William Worm. 212 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,215 Before we begin, we have just received word that 213 00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,551 Squiggly Miggly will not be attending tonight's debate 214 00:07:47,551 --> 00:07:50,304 due to the fact he blew his head off with a 3D printed shotgun. 215 00:07:51,555 --> 00:07:52,973 We want to remind the audience to please not, 216 00:07:52,973 --> 00:07:54,308 ah, talk out loud, 217 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,601 do not applaud. 218 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,060 You're just wasting time. 219 00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,897 Now, our first question tonight goes to Mr Frog. 220 00:08:00,564 --> 00:08:03,150 Mr Frog, why are you so evil? 221 00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,484 You have one second to respond. 222 00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:05,360 Hello, I think-- 223 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,320 Time's up, plus you're wrong. 224 00:08:06,737 --> 00:08:07,863 The next question is for our 225 00:08:07,863 --> 00:08:09,364 beloved and highly intelligent president. 226 00:08:09,907 --> 00:08:11,658 Why are you so amazing? 227 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,243 You have unlimited time to respond. 228 00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,330 Oh, p-p-presidential... 229 00:08:16,330 --> 00:08:17,998 p-p-p-p 230 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,416 policy, I-- 231 00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:25,005 I can't do this. 232 00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,343 A little pink guy once told me I needed to 233 00:08:29,343 --> 00:08:31,094 find out what I would be good at as president. 234 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:33,430 I've finally figured it out. 235 00:08:34,973 --> 00:08:36,099 I'm the president who shouldn't have been the president. 236 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:37,601 Let's face it, I'm a-- 237 00:08:37,601 --> 00:08:38,518 retard. 238 00:08:42,064 --> 00:08:43,190 You know, I always used to want to, 239 00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:45,400 to win the election and have people like me, 240 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:49,780 but I don't care about that any more now. 241 00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,865 I just want to be honest, and everyone 242 00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:56,453 that trolled me and gave me nasty messages. 243 00:08:57,371 --> 00:08:58,372 Fuck you! 244 00:08:58,372 --> 00:08:59,081 Fuck off! 245 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,083 JAG-OFF! 246 00:09:02,417 --> 00:09:03,252 Thank you. 247 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,463 That answer... 248 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:08,215 was correct! 249 00:09:09,633 --> 00:09:14,137 JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! JIM-BLE! 250 00:09:16,265 --> 00:09:18,141 When do the results start coming in? 251 00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:21,061 Next few minutes. I got 10 G's says 252 00:09:21,061 --> 00:09:23,563 Jimble's gonna win, and if he doesn't-- 253 00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,232 Then I'll take matters into my own hands. 254 00:09:25,774 --> 00:09:27,150 Ha ha! I'm just kidding! 255 00:09:27,651 --> 00:09:28,485 I'll do it, though. 256 00:09:28,485 --> 00:09:29,736 I'm just playing, dude. 257 00:09:30,153 --> 00:09:31,238 No, I'm serious. 258 00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:33,156 But no, I'll actually do it. 259 00:09:34,324 --> 00:09:36,326 Hey, Pim, sorry about bailing the other day, man. 260 00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:38,078 I guess I'm not really cut out for politics. 261 00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,664 No, it's fine, Charlie. Everything ended up working out. 262 00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:43,333 I don't know if President Jimble is gonna win, but something 263 00:09:43,333 --> 00:09:45,127 about that debate really turned things around. 264 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,921 Yeah, well, you know, it kind of reminds me how Shrimpo Jones 265 00:09:47,921 --> 00:09:49,089 won those debates by surprise 266 00:09:49,089 --> 00:09:51,008 and went onto landslide in 1980. 267 00:09:51,425 --> 00:09:54,052 Oh, Charlie, look at you with the political facts now. 268 00:09:54,052 --> 00:09:55,554 Yeah, well, hey, man, who knows? 269 00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:57,347 Maybe you're the one that got me into politics. 270 00:09:57,347 --> 00:09:58,682 Oh, okay, good! 271 00:09:58,682 --> 00:09:59,766 Getting political! I see a new Charlie! Oooo! Ahh! 272 00:09:59,766 --> 00:10:01,018 I've seen you, Charlie! 273 00:10:01,351 --> 00:10:03,145 Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha! 274 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,355 Shut up! The results are coming in. 275 00:10:05,689 --> 00:10:06,982 And now for an election update. 276 00:10:07,357 --> 00:10:09,484 Mr Frog and President Jimble are in a virtual tie. 277 00:10:09,860 --> 00:10:11,278 The only state yet to be called is the state 278 00:10:11,278 --> 00:10:13,488 of Pennsylvania with its 19 electoral votes. 279 00:10:13,864 --> 00:10:16,199 Whoever takes this state will be our next president. 280 00:10:16,992 --> 00:10:17,909 Oh, my God! 281 00:10:17,909 --> 00:10:19,202 Jimble could really win this! 282 00:10:19,536 --> 00:10:21,204 Uh, breaking. We're just getting this now. 283 00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:23,290 Ah, the state of Pennsylvania has just been 284 00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:25,959 called for Mr Frog by one single vote, 285 00:10:25,959 --> 00:10:29,463 making Mr Frog the president-elect of the United States. 286 00:10:29,838 --> 00:10:30,839 Oh, this can't be right. 287 00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:31,548 Don't look at me, I don't know w... 288 00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:32,632 Wait, what? 289 00:10:32,632 --> 00:10:33,759 And we're getting confirmation now. 290 00:10:33,759 --> 00:10:35,844 the one single vote was from this guy. 291 00:10:36,219 --> 00:10:37,721 We're putting his name, face address and 292 00:10:37,721 --> 00:10:40,557 social security number on screen for our millions of viewers now. 293 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:41,975 Glep, What the fuck. 294 00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:43,143 Dude? Why? 295 00:10:43,143 --> 00:10:45,228 Well, whatever I do now is on Glep. 296 00:10:45,854 --> 00:10:47,647 Glep, why would you vote for Mr Frog? 297 00:10:48,023 --> 00:10:49,358 Our job was to help President Jimble. 298 00:10:51,985 --> 00:10:53,987 Oh, okay, yeah. Good point. 299 00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:54,905 That makes sense. That's fair. Yeah, yeah, okay. 300 00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,255 This is the life.