1
00:00:53,521 --> 00:00:56,356
<i>When I think back</i>
<i>on my college experience,</i>

2
00:00:56,390 --> 00:01:00,160
<i>my fondest memories are...</i>

3
00:01:00,895 --> 00:01:02,296
<i>Damn.</i>

4
00:01:02,329 --> 00:01:03,665
<i>Where'd they all go?</i>

5
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:06,066
<i>Ah, I've got it.</i>

6
00:01:06,099 --> 00:01:08,503
<i>Hold on, one quick second.</i>

7
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:10,070
<i>Hang tight.</i>

8
00:01:15,342 --> 00:01:18,412
<i>Yeah.</i>
<i>There they are.</i>

9
00:01:18,445 --> 00:01:20,682
<i>They always just</i>
<i>come flooding back.</i>

10
00:01:20,715 --> 00:01:22,282
<i>Alright.</i>

11
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,719
<i>When I think back</i>
<i>on my college experience,</i>

12
00:01:24,752 --> 00:01:27,087
<i>my fondest memories are...</i>

13
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:29,423
Go! Go! Go! Go!

14
00:01:31,993 --> 00:01:33,928
<i>Four years</i>
<i>of tailgating,</i>

15
00:01:33,962 --> 00:01:36,296
<i>serial dating, hookups,</i>

16
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,033
<i>breakup sex, makeup sex.</i>

17
00:01:39,067 --> 00:01:40,535
<i>And then there's this guy.</i>

18
00:01:42,169 --> 00:01:46,808
<i>Four years of endless parties,</i>
<i>no parents, no bills,</i>
<i>no jobs...</i>

19
00:01:46,841 --> 00:01:49,611
<i>...best friends</i>
<i>and bitter rivals.</i>

20
00:01:51,411 --> 00:01:54,949
<i>Any sane person that ever</i>
<i>graduated from an institute</i>
<i>of higher learning</i>

21
00:01:54,983 --> 00:02:00,153
<i>will tell you that college</i>
<i>was hands down</i>
<i>the best years of their lives.</i>

22
00:02:00,755 --> 00:02:03,091
Okay, try and keep
your eyes open.
Jeez. Okay.

23
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:07,695
<i>My name is Molly Singer</i>
<i>and in college,</i>
<i>I had it all figured out.</i>

24
00:02:07,729 --> 00:02:08,963
<i>But now?</i>

25
00:02:10,965 --> 00:02:11,933
<i>Well...</i>

26
00:02:24,012 --> 00:02:26,080
Mm.

27
00:02:26,114 --> 00:02:27,782
Oh, Jesse.

28
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,820
I thought you were
Michael B. Jordan.

29
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:36,891
Oh, Jesus!
Mrs. Zimmerman.

30
00:02:37,558 --> 00:02:40,528
- What are you doing
in my apartment?
- You gave me a key.

31
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:42,329
For emergencies.

32
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:46,968
Yes, well, I thought
you might be
in distress, or dead.

33
00:02:47,735 --> 00:02:50,270
- You need something.
- Yeah, I need something.

34
00:02:50,303 --> 00:02:53,508
Could you be a dollface
and drive me to the market?

35
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:57,344
I tried to get a car on Lyft,
but apparently my, uh...

36
00:02:57,377 --> 00:02:59,814
"My account is blocked."

37
00:02:59,847 --> 00:03:01,281
No, no. No air quotes.

38
00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:03,685
No, you have
a shockingly high number
of one-star ratings.

39
00:03:03,718 --> 00:03:06,821
Oh, and it's my fault
that they all drive
like Tijuana kamikazes?

40
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,322
Mm.
My God, the racism.

41
00:03:09,356 --> 00:03:10,925
I'm sorry, what was that?

42
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:13,895
I think I need to get
some breakfast first.

43
00:03:13,928 --> 00:03:15,195
Kiddo, it's 9:30.
I think...

44
00:03:15,228 --> 00:03:16,463
- What?
- ...brunch would be
more in order.

45
00:03:16,496 --> 00:03:18,398
- We can have brunch
while we're out.
- Huh?

46
00:03:18,432 --> 00:03:20,835
- Kill two birds
with one stone, right?
- Oh, I... Uh...

47
00:03:20,868 --> 00:03:23,370
You might wanna drag a comb
across that head.

48
00:03:23,403 --> 00:03:25,640
- Yeah...
- Come on, baby. Let's go.

49
00:03:26,574 --> 00:03:30,545
Oh, God, no.
I didn't want to go to work.

50
00:03:45,325 --> 00:03:48,096
Good morning, everybody.
We've got a ton of stuff
to get through today.

51
00:03:48,129 --> 00:03:49,931
So let's get...

52
00:03:49,964 --> 00:03:51,799
Nelson, I swear to God.

53
00:03:51,833 --> 00:03:54,035
Are you curing cancer
on that fucking phone?

54
00:03:57,705 --> 00:03:59,874
Is that your last life?

55
00:03:59,907 --> 00:04:00,875
Um...

56
00:04:01,776 --> 00:04:03,644
I have, um, one life left.

57
00:04:03,678 --> 00:04:06,514
Okay, why don't you go
finish that up at your desk?

58
00:04:06,981 --> 00:04:07,949
Now?

59
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:09,316
Right fucking now.

60
00:04:09,884 --> 00:04:10,852
Oh.

61
00:04:14,655 --> 00:04:17,491
Whose nephew is that?
Can we please find that out?

62
00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:21,662
Thank you for joining us,
Miss Singer.

63
00:04:22,429 --> 00:04:25,332
Yeah, I, uh, I've been here
a while actually.

64
00:04:25,365 --> 00:04:27,001
Really? 'Cause it looks like
you're coming back

65
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,870
from getting
your pupils dilated.

66
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:31,172
Oh, the glasses.
Yeah. Transitions.

67
00:04:31,205 --> 00:04:32,807
I don't know.

68
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,274
Not working.

69
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:43,718
So do you need
a little bit of nap time
or something? Because I can--

70
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,154
I can give the Pebblebrook case
to one of your colleagues.

71
00:04:46,187 --> 00:04:50,457
Perhaps someone with
aspirations of becoming
partner here one day.

72
00:04:52,827 --> 00:04:54,762
Realistic aspirations.

73
00:04:56,864 --> 00:04:58,566
Ah, no, no. I'm...

74
00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:00,835
I'm-- I'm great.

75
00:05:02,870 --> 00:05:03,971
Joe, how are you?

76
00:05:09,877 --> 00:05:11,478
Oh, God.

77
00:05:16,551 --> 00:05:18,085
What the hell
was that back there?

78
00:05:18,119 --> 00:05:20,021
Oh, uh... Yeah,
I think I just got,

79
00:05:20,054 --> 00:05:21,722
like, the flu bug
or something.

80
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:24,391
Really? Breakfast
of champions, I see.

81
00:05:26,561 --> 00:05:28,428
Yeah, I'm just gonna be
really honest with you.

82
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:30,598
The Pebblebrook motion
is giving me an aneurysm

83
00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:33,333
and I, I went out last night
for a little stress relief.

84
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:37,404
Think I just overdid it
a little. You know?

85
00:05:38,139 --> 00:05:39,273
You think?

86
00:05:39,307 --> 00:05:40,508
Yeah.

87
00:05:41,576 --> 00:05:44,912
Oh, Miss Singer.

88
00:05:44,946 --> 00:05:46,514
You intrigue me.

89
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:48,950
You are smart.

90
00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:52,253
You bill a ton of hours.
You exude a charming

91
00:05:52,286 --> 00:05:53,988
yet ignorant amount
of confidence,

92
00:05:54,021 --> 00:05:58,391
that for some ungodly reason
your clients seem to love.

93
00:06:01,896 --> 00:06:05,199
But if you think for one second
that this firm needs you
more than you need it,

94
00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:07,201
you are sadly mistaken.

95
00:06:07,235 --> 00:06:08,970
I've got it
all under control.

96
00:06:11,606 --> 00:06:13,241
You're gonna throw up,
aren't you?

97
00:06:13,274 --> 00:06:14,942
Yes, I am. Yeah.

98
00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:20,882
You screw up this hearing,
you will never work
in this city again.

99
00:06:20,915 --> 00:06:21,949
Am I clear?

100
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,385
Yes, ma'am.

101
00:06:32,026 --> 00:06:33,261
Oh, that is sour.

102
00:06:33,294 --> 00:06:35,162
Oh, piss off, Nelson.

103
00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,935
Oh, hey, Paulie.
How was your night last night?

104
00:06:40,968 --> 00:06:43,237
Oh, it was great.
I hooked up with my Uber driver.

105
00:06:43,271 --> 00:06:44,437
He was really hot.

106
00:06:45,039 --> 00:06:48,376
You don't care
'cause you're not listening.

107
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,211
Okay. Just...

108
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:51,679
Hey!

109
00:06:51,712 --> 00:06:52,546
Watch it.

110
00:06:53,014 --> 00:06:54,447
Okay, you know what?
This is bumming me out.

111
00:06:55,716 --> 00:06:57,084
When you invited me
to a work dinner,

112
00:06:57,118 --> 00:06:59,320
you didn't say there was
gonna be work at the dinner.

113
00:06:59,353 --> 00:07:00,588
- Hmm.
- So do you see me working?

114
00:07:00,621 --> 00:07:02,156
Well, I'm sure they've got

115
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:03,724
a few cans of mixed vegetables

116
00:07:03,758 --> 00:07:05,559
you could crack open
for them in the back.

117
00:07:05,593 --> 00:07:07,427
Whatever. At least
I like my job.

118
00:07:07,460 --> 00:07:09,997
Oh, you do not like your job
and you know it.

119
00:07:10,031 --> 00:07:14,035
I love my job. I get to work
with kids and teach them
about nutrition and shit.

120
00:07:14,068 --> 00:07:15,236
What? You work at a cafeteria.

121
00:07:15,269 --> 00:07:17,470
What kind of nutritional
benefits are you teaching them?

122
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:19,807
The difference between
chocolate and 2% milk?

123
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:22,343
Mm. Joke's on you.
We have oat milk now.

124
00:07:22,376 --> 00:07:24,779
- No, shit? Very fancy.
- Yeah. So fancy.

125
00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:27,214
- What, are there
a lot of white kids?
- A lot of white kids.

126
00:07:27,248 --> 00:07:29,317
- Okay.
- So many white kids.

127
00:07:29,350 --> 00:07:31,352
You know, I think
that you should go back.

128
00:07:31,385 --> 00:07:32,687
Go back to school
for the semester.

129
00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,755
Get your parents to unlock
your trust fund.

130
00:07:34,789 --> 00:07:36,857
Mol, can you just drop it.
We've had this conversation.

131
00:07:36,891 --> 00:07:39,927
- Why wouldn't you do it?
- It's complicated.

132
00:07:39,961 --> 00:07:41,228
It's your foolish pride

133
00:07:41,262 --> 00:07:44,398
and I am telling you
that is gonna get
in the-- Oh, shit.

134
00:07:44,432 --> 00:07:46,499
- Look away. Look away. Quickly.
- What?

135
00:07:46,534 --> 00:07:49,103
- Look away. Look away.
- What?

136
00:07:49,136 --> 00:07:50,204
Molly Singer?

137
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,474
Poles! Wow!

138
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,777
Poles, yeah.

139
00:07:58,179 --> 00:07:59,280
Good to see you.

140
00:07:59,313 --> 00:08:00,514
- Hiya.
- Hey, oh. Okay.

141
00:08:01,682 --> 00:08:04,352
- Poles?
- Yeah. Mm-hmm. Poles.

142
00:08:04,385 --> 00:08:06,220
It was my pledge name
at Barnett.

143
00:08:06,253 --> 00:08:08,122
- Oh. What does it mean?
- Yeah.

144
00:08:08,155 --> 00:08:10,825
Well, uh, we were
on this ski trip
and Handy Moore over here--

145
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:14,328
It was a nickname.
It was just like
a semi-truthful nickname.

146
00:08:14,362 --> 00:08:15,696
- Oh, okay.
- Mm.

147
00:08:15,730 --> 00:08:17,732
Yeah, she was just always
in the hotel room, you know?

148
00:08:17,765 --> 00:08:21,702
Practicing her form
with two very big ski poles,
firm grip.

149
00:08:21,736 --> 00:08:23,337
So, like, kind of
like this, like...

150
00:08:23,371 --> 00:08:25,272
- Ooh. Look out.
- Yup.

151
00:08:25,306 --> 00:08:26,974
- We're going down a black diamond?
-  - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

152
00:08:27,008 --> 00:08:29,543
Totally getting it. That's it.

153
00:08:29,577 --> 00:08:31,312
- I was just thinking.
- Yeah.

154
00:08:31,345 --> 00:08:32,913
- Yeah.
- I thought you might be here

155
00:08:32,947 --> 00:08:34,982
- with your husband, but...
- Um...

156
00:08:35,016 --> 00:08:37,485
Aw, it's just Paulie.

157
00:08:37,518 --> 00:08:38,753
But you guys are married...

158
00:08:38,786 --> 00:08:40,421
- Yeah.
- ...so that's cool.

159
00:08:40,454 --> 00:08:42,223
- Very cool.
- Four amazing years

160
00:08:42,256 --> 00:08:44,191
- with my Charles here.
- Wow.

161
00:08:44,225 --> 00:08:48,295
White picket fence,
two-year-old daughter,
yeast rising on another.

162
00:08:48,329 --> 00:08:53,134
I guess the icing on the cake
is I was just made full partner
at my firm.

163
00:08:53,167 --> 00:08:55,970
Yeah. She's my rock star.
I'm a stay-at-home dad.

164
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:57,805
- Well, you know what they say.
- Yeah.

165
00:08:57,838 --> 00:09:00,408
When you find love,
you gotta hold
onto it tight! Right?

166
00:09:00,441 --> 00:09:02,610
- Grab it! Never let go.
- Really tight.

167
00:09:04,145 --> 00:09:07,048
It's just the two of you.
Mm? Yeah, just like always.

168
00:09:07,681 --> 00:09:09,617
Well, have a good dinner.
See you, guys.

169
00:09:09,650 --> 00:09:10,785
- Great to see you.
- Yeah.

170
00:09:10,818 --> 00:09:12,286
Nice pearl necklace,
by the way.

171
00:09:12,386 --> 00:09:14,355
- Thank you.
I like to coordinate.
- I bought it for her.

172
00:09:14,922 --> 00:09:16,991
- What
a fucking asshole.

173
00:09:17,024 --> 00:09:18,859
So you liked the poles
in your hands?

174
00:09:18,893 --> 00:09:20,594
- I don't understand.
- Shut up, Charles.

175
00:09:25,534 --> 00:09:28,436
Alright. Alright, you got this.

176
00:09:28,469 --> 00:09:30,571
Confidence. Come on. Come on.

177
00:09:30,604 --> 00:09:33,774
Shirt looks good.
Shark tooth, that's sick.

178
00:09:35,109 --> 00:09:36,477
Hair's good.

179
00:09:36,511 --> 00:09:38,312
Come on.
You know this, let's go.

180
00:09:38,345 --> 00:09:39,780
Let's do it, come on.

181
00:09:39,814 --> 00:09:41,816
Badass, badass, badass,
badass, badass.

182
00:09:43,084 --> 00:09:46,854
TikTok MMA style,
motherfucker. Let's go.

183
00:09:55,596 --> 00:09:56,997
- Hey!
- Aah!

184
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:58,032
That was so great.

185
00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,468
So great up until that,
you know, the end,

186
00:10:00,502 --> 00:10:02,002
but great form.

187
00:10:03,838 --> 00:10:05,406
Haven't you heard of knocking?

188
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:07,741
I'm trying to perfect
my TikTok game.

189
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:10,512
Okay. Well, I don't even know
what that means.

190
00:10:10,545 --> 00:10:15,649
But, um, I have
a really great surprise
for you tonight.

191
00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:17,651
No, no.
I don't like surprises.

192
00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:19,253
They give me anxiety.

193
00:10:19,286 --> 00:10:20,321
Mm-hmm.

194
00:10:23,390 --> 00:10:25,426
Elliot, honey.

195
00:10:25,459 --> 00:10:28,262
You sit up here
in your room all day.

196
00:10:28,295 --> 00:10:32,466
All you do is this TikTok thing
and, and play video games.

197
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:34,001
You don't show up
for your friends.

198
00:10:34,034 --> 00:10:37,138
You don't show up
for me, for dinner.

199
00:10:37,171 --> 00:10:40,341
We always used to go out
to dinner as a family together

200
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:41,976
the night before
you'd go to camp,

201
00:10:42,009 --> 00:10:44,678
and this is so much bigger
than that, honey.

202
00:10:45,146 --> 00:10:46,413
It's college.

203
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:53,254
So can you please just humor
your mother this one time?

204
00:10:55,689 --> 00:10:57,691
'Cause there's
a really great buffet

205
00:10:57,725 --> 00:10:59,793
that I keep hearing
about.

206
00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:02,096
I wanna take you to it, so...

207
00:11:03,264 --> 00:11:05,132
You do love buffets.

208
00:11:05,166 --> 00:11:06,568
Mm-hmm.

209
00:11:06,601 --> 00:11:10,171
I do.
Alright.

210
00:11:11,939 --> 00:11:13,307
<i>That's right, don't forget</i>

211
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:14,576
<i>to tip your cocktail waitress.</i>

212
00:11:14,609 --> 00:11:16,611
<i>And coming up to the stage</i>
<i>to light it up</i>

213
00:11:16,645 --> 00:11:19,713
<i>for you fellas</i>
<i>right now is Passion!</i>

214
00:11:19,747 --> 00:11:20,915
<i>Do your thang, girl.</i>

215
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,584
So you form the S-corp,

216
00:11:22,617 --> 00:11:24,619
and the club hires you
as a vendor.

217
00:11:24,653 --> 00:11:26,887
The tax break was great,
but it stopped you

218
00:11:26,921 --> 00:11:28,523
from getting
all your deductions.

219
00:11:29,056 --> 00:11:30,925
It'd still cover shoes,
though, right?

220
00:11:31,425 --> 00:11:34,094
Well, as long as you can claim
they're a costume for work

221
00:11:34,128 --> 00:11:36,697
and, you know, not functional
in your day-to-day life.

222
00:11:38,232 --> 00:11:40,834
Oh, yeah, girl,
those are deductible.

223
00:11:42,036 --> 00:11:44,939
Oh. Is this great
or what?

224
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:47,241
Yeah, it's just--
it's kinda hard to breathe.

225
00:11:47,274 --> 00:11:49,511
Oh, it's all part
of the experience, son.

226
00:11:49,544 --> 00:11:52,313
I know this would have been
more of your dad's territory,

227
00:11:52,346 --> 00:11:54,181
but I think it's kind of cool.

228
00:11:54,616 --> 00:11:57,017
Great music, scampi.

229
00:12:01,922 --> 00:12:04,626
Hey, give it a little
spanky spank.

230
00:12:04,659 --> 00:12:06,794
I-- I don't wanna
spanky spank.

231
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,531
No better time
than the present. TikTok.

232
00:12:10,030 --> 00:12:12,066
No, that's not even
what TikTok is!

233
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:14,603
- Just tap it.
Just a little tap.
- No! No, stop. Stop.

234
00:12:14,636 --> 00:12:16,170
Be a man!

235
00:12:22,577 --> 00:12:23,678
- Oh.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

236
00:12:23,712 --> 00:12:25,412
And that, son,

237
00:12:25,446 --> 00:12:28,415
is an important lesson
in consent.

238
00:12:28,449 --> 00:12:29,950
From kissing to coitus,

239
00:12:29,984 --> 00:12:32,086
- what are we gonna do?
- Ask?

240
00:12:32,119 --> 00:12:34,455
You're goddamn right we are
and you're not gonna listen

241
00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:36,423
to PJ, Tobin, and Squee.

242
00:12:36,457 --> 00:12:37,891
Who?

243
00:12:37,925 --> 00:12:40,160
- Thanks, ladies. Nice work.
- No problem.

244
00:12:40,194 --> 00:12:43,063
- Judge Stanton says hi.
- Oh, I'm sure he does.

245
00:12:43,698 --> 00:12:46,433
Well, see you ladies
at gym class. Let's go.

246
00:12:48,703 --> 00:12:51,171
What the fuck just happened?

247
00:13:02,717 --> 00:13:04,885
I cannot believe
we ran into Poles.

248
00:13:04,918 --> 00:13:06,287
Are we still talking
about this?

249
00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,322
I might as well been holding
a Daniel Steele novel

250
00:13:08,355 --> 00:13:11,559
and a bag of kitty litter
for my seven fucking cats
waiting for me at home.

251
00:13:11,593 --> 00:13:13,961
You're slipping, Mol.
I would have lead
with the fact we caught her

252
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,429
giving two handies
at that ski trip.

253
00:13:15,462 --> 00:13:17,931
No, we are too old
to be slut-shaming,
don't you think?

254
00:13:17,965 --> 00:13:19,867
Not if it's Poles.
She's the worst.

255
00:13:19,900 --> 00:13:21,770
- Seriously.
- Oh.

256
00:13:21,802 --> 00:13:24,271
Oh!

257
00:13:24,305 --> 00:13:26,641
- Back of the line.
- Oh, I'm with her, so...

258
00:13:26,675 --> 00:13:28,075
That is terrific.

259
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:30,210
Back of the line.
Both of you.

260
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:32,514
- What just happened?
- Oh, my God.

261
00:13:32,547 --> 00:13:34,315
He can smell
the loser on me.

262
00:13:35,215 --> 00:13:36,685
That's the dumbest fucking thing
I've ever heard.

263
00:13:36,718 --> 00:13:39,219
No, no, no, no,
she's actually right.
She reeks of it.

264
00:13:39,253 --> 00:13:41,021
It's cutting through all
the Armenian guys' cologne.

265
00:13:41,055 --> 00:13:44,592
So can you please make
my job easier
and get to the back?

266
00:13:45,259 --> 00:13:47,662
- Thank you.
- Okay, that was a sign.

267
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:50,030
I have Pebblebrook tomorrow.
I need to go home
and get some rest.

268
00:13:50,064 --> 00:13:51,332
You can't go home dry-docking.

269
00:13:51,365 --> 00:13:52,966
- You'll be in hell all night.
- Yeah--

270
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,669
Hey. Okay. We're not gonna end
the night like this.

271
00:13:54,703 --> 00:13:56,003
Not on my watch. Okay?

272
00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,639
- Just give me a sec.
- I'm not standing-- Okay.

273
00:13:57,672 --> 00:13:59,840
Give me a sec.

274
00:13:59,873 --> 00:14:01,909
Hello, gentlemen.

275
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:04,945
Uh...

276
00:14:04,978 --> 00:14:06,947
I'm the manager,
and, uh...

277
00:14:11,519 --> 00:14:13,621
What? What did you say?

278
00:14:14,254 --> 00:14:15,989
You're Carly Rae Jepsen,
I'm your manager.

279
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:17,826
- Just go with it.
- Who?

280
00:14:17,858 --> 00:14:19,893
I really question
our friendship sometimes.

281
00:14:20,327 --> 00:14:21,462
Hello.

282
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,424
What? No.

283
00:15:28,429 --> 00:15:30,330
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

284
00:15:33,167 --> 00:15:35,035
Want some pancakes, Mol?

285
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:38,873
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck me!

286
00:15:41,876 --> 00:15:44,378
Selfish. Selfish.

287
00:15:46,748 --> 00:15:47,981
Guess not.

288
00:15:51,285 --> 00:15:53,922
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

289
00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:56,356
I left the car at the club!

290
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:57,357
Fuck!

291
00:16:18,312 --> 00:16:19,313
El?

292
00:16:19,914 --> 00:16:23,116
- Yeah.
- Wow.

293
00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:24,985
I thought I was gonna have
to blackmail you

294
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:27,020
to get you out of bed
this morning.

295
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:29,958
You gonna take that bag?

296
00:16:29,990 --> 00:16:31,325
Yeah, it's the one
that Dad gave me.

297
00:16:31,358 --> 00:16:32,927
Yeah, I know,
I know he did.

298
00:16:32,961 --> 00:16:34,328
And you know,
when you were little,

299
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:36,564
it was so cute when you--
you could fit inside of it

300
00:16:36,598 --> 00:16:39,132
and we'd joke around
that we were gonna save
money on tickets

301
00:16:39,166 --> 00:16:42,637
'cause we could fly you cargo,
but this is, um...

302
00:16:42,670 --> 00:16:46,240
I mean, don't you think now
this is a little tacky?

303
00:16:48,776 --> 00:16:50,578
You know, Mom,
I-I've been thinking,

304
00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,582
um, about what you said
last night,

305
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:56,450
and you're right.

306
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:59,654
You know, ever since Dad passed,
I've just been...

307
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:02,289
Well...

308
00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:05,593
Nothing really, I suppose.

309
00:17:05,627 --> 00:17:06,594
Um...

310
00:17:07,361 --> 00:17:09,731
But what I do know is that...

311
00:17:10,765 --> 00:17:12,132
Dad was all about showing up.

312
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:14,101
So that's what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna show up.

313
00:17:17,170 --> 00:17:19,641
Okay,
you can keep the frigging bag.

314
00:17:19,674 --> 00:17:22,242
I will get you a matching set
for Hanukkah.

315
00:17:22,276 --> 00:17:23,611
Um, you're still
in your robes, Mom.

316
00:17:23,645 --> 00:17:27,682
Right. Oh. Damn it.
Um, 20 minutes, 20 minutes.

317
00:17:36,658 --> 00:17:41,529
Mr. Pebblebrook,
your counsel has till I get
through the sports section.

318
00:17:48,770 --> 00:17:49,737
Shit!

319
00:18:01,049 --> 00:18:03,083
Shit.

320
00:18:04,886 --> 00:18:05,853
Damn.

321
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,656
Coming through!
Excuse me!

322
00:18:13,962 --> 00:18:15,195
Oh, sorry.

323
00:18:19,132 --> 00:18:20,702
Sorry. Sorry.

324
00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,652
- Objection.
- Shit.

325
00:18:38,519 --> 00:18:41,121
- Manolo Blahnik or...?
- What?

326
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:42,422
Ooh, say...

327
00:18:43,057 --> 00:18:45,526
They say you snort
the gel inside here,

328
00:18:45,560 --> 00:18:47,260
you can fucking fly
to the moon and back.

329
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:48,763
I don't know what
you're talking about.
You can have those.

330
00:18:48,796 --> 00:18:50,732
- Oh, no, you--
- They're all yours, buddy.

331
00:18:55,302 --> 00:18:56,838
That's it.

332
00:18:58,539 --> 00:19:01,174
Sorry, I know I'm late. I know.

333
00:19:04,012 --> 00:19:05,513
Sorry, Mr. Pebblebrook.

334
00:19:05,546 --> 00:19:09,449
Based on absence
of oral argument
by the moving party,

335
00:19:09,483 --> 00:19:11,552
the motion for summary judgment
is denied...

336
00:19:13,387 --> 00:19:14,822
...with prejudice.

337
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:19,093
I'm here! I'm here! Wait!

338
00:19:27,702 --> 00:19:28,670
Huh?

339
00:19:31,739 --> 00:19:34,909
Oh...

340
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:07,340
Now that the leg
is fully healed,

341
00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,677
are you taking us to
the national championship game?

342
00:20:09,711 --> 00:20:12,345
Uh, with God's determination
and his healing hands,

343
00:20:12,379 --> 00:20:13,781
that's the plan, no doubt.

344
00:20:13,815 --> 00:20:17,051
And you surpassed
over a thousand yards last year.

345
00:20:17,085 --> 00:20:18,385
You plan to surpass
that this year?

346
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,788
Oh, yeah, most definitely.
I mean, you know,

347
00:20:20,822 --> 00:20:22,056
this is what I do, so...

348
00:20:22,090 --> 00:20:23,725
So the dorms are great.

349
00:20:23,758 --> 00:20:26,359
Even though your room's
the size of my shoe closet.

350
00:20:26,393 --> 00:20:28,096
Well, I don't think
it's that bad.

351
00:20:28,129 --> 00:20:30,031
I mean, your shoe closet
is pretty big.

352
00:20:30,064 --> 00:20:33,034
And the girl-to-guy ratio
is really playing in your favor.

353
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:34,502
Mom. No. Don't.

354
00:20:34,535 --> 00:20:36,704
I'm just saying
from a numbers perspective.

355
00:20:36,738 --> 00:20:38,740
Don't you have to go
to work or something?

356
00:20:38,773 --> 00:20:42,009
Anything other than talking
about girl-to-guy ratios?

357
00:20:44,444 --> 00:20:48,381
This is gonna be the best
four years of your life,
I promise.

358
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:53,420
You are gonna do great things,
Elliot Steiner.

359
00:20:55,523 --> 00:20:56,356
Come on.

360
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,296
Mm. All that's left
is the body snatcher.

361
00:21:04,065 --> 00:21:06,466
You wanna get in it
one last time
for old time's sake?

362
00:21:06,500 --> 00:21:09,103
Mom, people can hear you.
Please.

363
00:21:09,137 --> 00:21:10,972
Sorry.

364
00:21:11,005 --> 00:21:13,641
Dammit, I told her
not to bother me
on my last day with you.

365
00:21:13,674 --> 00:21:15,209
This is...

366
00:21:15,243 --> 00:21:16,811
Maybe it's an emergency.

367
00:21:19,981 --> 00:21:22,884
The office
better be burning
to the fucking ground.

368
00:21:24,986 --> 00:21:26,521
She did what?!

369
00:21:42,537 --> 00:21:45,206
Do you think
you're gonna break
your record from last year?

370
00:21:45,239 --> 00:21:47,275
- Oh. Oh...
- Look out!

371
00:21:47,307 --> 00:21:48,943
Too many questions.
Too many questions now.

372
00:21:52,013 --> 00:21:54,148
By the way it's going,
I might not get tacked all year.

373
00:21:54,182 --> 00:21:55,983
Whoa!

374
00:21:56,017 --> 00:21:58,252
- Where does it hurt?
- Fuck, man! I think
I broke my ankle!

375
00:21:58,286 --> 00:22:00,288
- Which ankle is it?
- This one!

376
00:22:00,320 --> 00:22:01,488
Do you think
you can play this season?

377
00:22:01,522 --> 00:22:03,691
What? I don't know.
I just broke my ankle.

378
00:22:03,724 --> 00:22:04,859
Hey, it was him!

379
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:06,928
- Let's fucking get him!
- What?

380
00:22:08,529 --> 00:22:10,565
You better run! Get him!

381
00:22:10,598 --> 00:22:12,533
- Get him!
- Come here, man!

382
00:22:13,466 --> 00:22:15,803
<i>Well, Peter,</i>
<i>a world record.</i>

383
00:22:15,837 --> 00:22:18,573
<i>While normally reserved</i>
<i>for professional athletes,</i>

384
00:22:18,606 --> 00:22:20,675
<i>this week's Daily</i>
<i>Upper Decker Award</i>

385
00:22:20,708 --> 00:22:23,211
<i>goes to none other than</i>
<i>college freshman,</i>

386
00:22:23,244 --> 00:22:24,477
<i>Elliot Steiner,</i>

387
00:22:24,512 --> 00:22:27,081
<i>who single-handedly</i>
<i>wrecked the MVP run</i>

388
00:22:27,114 --> 00:22:30,885
<i>of potential first-round</i>
<i>draft pick,</i>
<i>Demetrius Moss.</i>

389
00:22:30,918 --> 00:22:32,920
Whoa!

390
00:22:32,954 --> 00:22:34,322
Where does it hurt?

391
00:22:41,028 --> 00:22:43,564
<i>Time to get the fuck</i>
<i>out of dodge, kid.</i>

392
00:22:43,598 --> 00:22:45,032
...fucking get him!

393
00:22:48,336 --> 00:22:49,604
Wait till I catch you!

394
00:22:49,637 --> 00:22:51,105
Hey, you're dead, man!

395
00:22:57,812 --> 00:22:59,046
<i>Singer!</i>

396
00:22:59,881 --> 00:23:02,750
<i>Do you have any idea</i>
<i>how fucked this is?!</i>

397
00:23:02,783 --> 00:23:05,953
Pebblebrook
is threatening to sue us
for mishandling his case.

398
00:23:06,486 --> 00:23:09,056
You not only lost me money,
you are costing me money.

399
00:23:09,090 --> 00:23:12,193
- Brenda, I can fix this.
- Yeah, you can,
by packing your shit

400
00:23:12,226 --> 00:23:13,895
- and getting the fuck
out of my office.

401
00:23:13,928 --> 00:23:15,495
- <i>Mrs. Steiner?</i>
- What?!

402
00:23:15,529 --> 00:23:17,932
- <i>Y-your son is on line one.</i>
- Move.

403
00:23:24,471 --> 00:23:26,439
Hey, my love,
how's your first day going?

404
00:23:26,473 --> 00:23:28,676
- I'm coming home.
- <i>What?</i>

405
00:23:28,709 --> 00:23:32,313
- What happened?
- <i>Check your text messages.</i>

406
00:23:32,346 --> 00:23:33,681
<i>...Elliot Steiner,</i>

407
00:23:33,714 --> 00:23:36,284
<i>who single-handedly</i>
<i>wrecked the MVP run</i>

408
00:23:36,317 --> 00:23:38,519
<i>of potential first-round</i>
<i>draft pick,</i>

409
00:23:38,552 --> 00:23:40,254
- <i>Demetrius Moss.</i>
- Oh.

410
00:23:41,421 --> 00:23:42,757
Well, I mean, it's--

411
00:23:42,790 --> 00:23:44,125
I'm sure it's not that bad.

412
00:23:44,158 --> 00:23:45,425
<i>It'll blow over.</i>

413
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:47,228
I'm literally packing
my bags right now.

414
00:23:47,261 --> 00:23:50,831
Oh, come on, honey.
Steiners are not quitters.
We're fighters.

415
00:23:50,865 --> 00:23:53,433
I'm not a fighter.
I'm a Daily Upper Decker.

416
00:23:53,466 --> 00:23:55,102
I don't even know
what that means.

417
00:23:55,136 --> 00:23:56,771
It's shit, Ma! It's shit. Okay?

418
00:23:56,804 --> 00:23:59,472
It's when you take a--
a shit in the tank of a toilet

419
00:23:59,507 --> 00:24:01,075
<i>and then when you flush it,</i>
<i>it's just shit.</i>

420
00:24:01,108 --> 00:24:02,843
<i>It's perpetual continuous shit.</i>

421
00:24:06,747 --> 00:24:10,051
Honey,
your father wanted you
to go to his alma mater.

422
00:24:16,489 --> 00:24:17,792
Give me that. Sit down.

423
00:24:17,825 --> 00:24:19,794
Sit down!

424
00:24:20,628 --> 00:24:21,929
What do you wanna hear?

425
00:24:21,963 --> 00:24:23,097
<i>Yeah,</i>

426
00:24:23,130 --> 00:24:25,833
<i>you were dealt</i>
<i>the shitty hand.</i>
<i>So was I.</i>

427
00:24:26,466 --> 00:24:28,903
But it's where you go from here
that determines

428
00:24:28,936 --> 00:24:31,205
what kind of a man
you become, son.

429
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:34,608
Are you an Upper Decker?

430
00:24:35,676 --> 00:24:38,980
Or are you my brave number two?

431
00:24:39,814 --> 00:24:43,417
You realize in this scenario,
I'm a piece of shit either way.

432
00:24:43,884 --> 00:24:45,653
Yeah, I'm just realizing that.

433
00:24:45,686 --> 00:24:48,356
It's not-- not my best analogy.

434
00:24:51,959 --> 00:24:53,894
But I have a feeling
that, um...

435
00:24:55,162 --> 00:24:56,831
everything's gonna work out.

436
00:24:57,365 --> 00:24:58,833
<i>Can you trust me?</i>

437
00:25:01,469 --> 00:25:02,636
Yeah.

438
00:25:10,011 --> 00:25:14,248
You went to undergrad
at Barnett University, right?

439
00:25:14,281 --> 00:25:17,318
Uh, y-yes, ma'am.

440
00:25:17,351 --> 00:25:19,353
And you were president
of your sorority

441
00:25:19,387 --> 00:25:22,857
and I'm sure you were popular
with all the guys, right?

442
00:25:22,890 --> 00:25:25,126
I mean, yeah, a little...
Look at you.

443
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:26,927
Um...

444
00:25:27,628 --> 00:25:30,064
- My son, Elliot...
- Mm.

445
00:25:30,097 --> 00:25:32,433
...is just starting
his freshman year
at Barnett

446
00:25:32,466 --> 00:25:35,403
and he's had a little bit
of a, a misstep.

447
00:25:35,436 --> 00:25:38,305
- Yeah, the Upper Decker video?
- What?

448
00:25:38,339 --> 00:25:40,241
Yeah, Nelson showed it
to us earlier.

449
00:25:40,274 --> 00:25:41,642
Fucking moron.

450
00:25:41,675 --> 00:25:44,545
- Mm.
- Um...

451
00:25:45,746 --> 00:25:47,314
The thing is, my son...

452
00:25:48,015 --> 00:25:51,085
My son is a really good kid,
but he, um...

453
00:25:52,319 --> 00:25:53,888
He's a recluse.

454
00:25:53,921 --> 00:25:55,289
Oh.

455
00:25:55,322 --> 00:25:56,457
So it's gonna take
somebody else

456
00:25:56,490 --> 00:25:57,992
to help him come out
of his shell.

457
00:25:58,025 --> 00:25:59,160
Yeah.

458
00:25:59,193 --> 00:26:03,097
And that someone is you.

459
00:26:04,832 --> 00:26:05,633
Me?

460
00:26:05,666 --> 00:26:07,701
Yeah, see,
the way I see it is,

461
00:26:07,735 --> 00:26:09,538
I want my son to be happy

462
00:26:09,570 --> 00:26:11,572
and you need a job.

463
00:26:11,605 --> 00:26:13,140
Oh, so I'm not fired?

464
00:26:13,174 --> 00:26:16,043
Oh, no, you're definitely
still fired.

465
00:26:16,077 --> 00:26:18,746
No, uh, I'm saying
that I would like to hire you

466
00:26:18,779 --> 00:26:21,816
to go back to Barnett
as a student,

467
00:26:21,849 --> 00:26:23,851
but obviously with
a different last name.

468
00:26:23,884 --> 00:26:26,187
I'll have the art
and tech department
hook you up,

469
00:26:26,220 --> 00:26:28,789
get you a new student ID,
transcripts,
everything you need.

470
00:26:28,823 --> 00:26:30,891
I just don't--
I don't think that they--

471
00:26:30,925 --> 00:26:32,326
No, that's the problem.
You don't think.

472
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,862
Otherwise, you would still have
your fucking job, so...

473
00:26:35,596 --> 00:26:36,831
- Ah...
- I just-- I, I--

474
00:26:36,864 --> 00:26:39,233
I want you to take him
under your wing.

475
00:26:39,266 --> 00:26:42,470
You know, help him--
help him meet some friends.

476
00:26:42,504 --> 00:26:44,305
- His father was Ki Mu.
- Oh.

477
00:26:44,338 --> 00:26:46,674
So he's a legacy.
Help him get into the frat.

478
00:26:46,707 --> 00:26:48,809
Yeah, I mean, I--
I just don't know
anything about--

479
00:26:48,843 --> 00:26:50,377
You have until
Homecoming weekend,

480
00:26:50,411 --> 00:26:52,113
which is exactly
two months from now.

481
00:26:53,047 --> 00:26:56,551
In exchange, I will pay you
half of your salary.

482
00:26:56,585 --> 00:26:59,253
- What?
- And if you succeed,

483
00:26:59,954 --> 00:27:02,256
we can talk about you
coming back to the firm.

484
00:27:07,394 --> 00:27:11,365
You wanna pay me
to go back to Barnett?

485
00:27:13,134 --> 00:27:14,101
Yeah.

486
00:27:16,837 --> 00:27:17,805
Oh...

487
00:27:33,287 --> 00:27:35,456
Hey, there's my Becky.

488
00:27:35,489 --> 00:27:36,757
Thank you.

489
00:27:38,292 --> 00:27:41,095
You just had to give out
that second fruit cup, huh?

490
00:27:41,795 --> 00:27:43,565
Why'd I do it, Walter?
Do you know?

491
00:27:43,598 --> 00:27:44,899
'Cause you're a fucking
kiss-ass.

492
00:27:44,932 --> 00:27:46,934
Oh, fuck you. It's 'cause...

493
00:27:46,967 --> 00:27:48,936
...little Becky there's got
a soccer game this afternoon

494
00:27:48,969 --> 00:27:51,640
and she needs the extra fuel.
Isn't that right, Becky?

495
00:27:51,672 --> 00:27:53,707
Yeah! How many goals
you scoring today?

496
00:27:53,741 --> 00:27:56,110
I'm the goalie.

497
00:27:56,777 --> 00:27:59,180
Yeah, you are! Goal!

498
00:28:00,414 --> 00:28:03,518
Get your cooties away
from my station.
What'd I tell you?

499
00:28:03,552 --> 00:28:05,686
Oh, I'm sorry,
was it one workstation

500
00:28:05,719 --> 00:28:07,354
- behind you?
- Yes. Jesus.

501
00:28:07,388 --> 00:28:08,590
Paulie!

502
00:28:08,623 --> 00:28:11,660
It is time to retire
your hairnet,

503
00:28:11,692 --> 00:28:13,794
pack up your sh-- stuff.

504
00:28:13,827 --> 00:28:16,330
Hi, children.
We're going back to Barnett.

505
00:28:16,363 --> 00:28:18,866
- What are you talking about?
- Okay, so here's the update.

506
00:28:18,899 --> 00:28:20,134
Got to court,
a little bit late...

507
00:28:20,167 --> 00:28:22,604
Look, you know,
I'm really sorry about that.

508
00:28:22,637 --> 00:28:24,805
- Ooh! Ooh!
- Ooh.

509
00:28:24,838 --> 00:28:27,576
Get back to your station
and don't fucking touch me.

510
00:28:28,242 --> 00:28:29,944
Paulie.

511
00:28:30,645 --> 00:28:32,713
My apologies. Uh...

512
00:28:32,746 --> 00:28:34,882
That's on me.
Juice boxes for everybody.

513
00:28:38,352 --> 00:28:40,888
Okay, I don't think
you're getting it.
I really, really don't.

514
00:28:40,921 --> 00:28:43,724
I'm getting paid
to go back to college. Okay?

515
00:28:43,757 --> 00:28:45,859
- And you're gonna come with me.
- Hard pass, Mol.

516
00:28:45,893 --> 00:28:47,261
Walter's got me
on management track.

517
00:28:47,294 --> 00:28:50,297
Paulie, I need you.
Seriously, we can go back,

518
00:28:50,331 --> 00:28:53,100
have a great time,
party like we used to.

519
00:28:53,133 --> 00:28:54,868
You can finish
your degree, finally.

520
00:28:54,902 --> 00:28:56,504
And then when you unlock
your trust,

521
00:28:56,538 --> 00:28:58,573
you could just buy
the whole cafeteria,

522
00:28:58,607 --> 00:29:00,274
have it named after you.

523
00:29:00,307 --> 00:29:01,509
Maybe even...

524
00:29:01,543 --> 00:29:04,078
...fire Walter.

525
00:29:05,980 --> 00:29:08,115
- Fire Walter?
- Why not?

526
00:29:08,148 --> 00:29:10,751
- Okay, I really wanna go.
- Okay. We're getting you out.

527
00:29:10,784 --> 00:29:12,886
- Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
we got it. We got it.

528
00:29:12,920 --> 00:29:14,321
Alright.

529
00:29:14,355 --> 00:29:15,690
Oh, I wanna fire Walter!

530
00:29:15,724 --> 00:29:17,258
- Yeah!
- Fuck you!

531
00:29:18,526 --> 00:29:19,760
See ya, kids!

532
00:29:20,427 --> 00:29:21,462
Fuck you.

533
00:30:00,868 --> 00:30:03,070
Sorry, no housing available.

534
00:30:03,538 --> 00:30:05,239
Huh?

535
00:30:05,272 --> 00:30:06,940
What do you mean
there's no housing available?

536
00:30:06,974 --> 00:30:08,809
Record enrollment.

537
00:30:08,842 --> 00:30:11,045
Did you not read your freshman
orientation packet?

538
00:30:11,078 --> 00:30:13,914
Because if you had,
you'd know that the dorms
need to be secured

539
00:30:13,947 --> 00:30:15,949
- two months in advance.
- Oh, okay.

540
00:30:15,983 --> 00:30:18,118
- Barnett...
- Well, what about
private housing?

541
00:30:18,152 --> 00:30:21,922
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh. Record enrollment.

542
00:30:21,955 --> 00:30:23,457
- Oh, boy.
- What is up with people

543
00:30:23,490 --> 00:30:25,527
that have the ability to hear?
Yet nobody ever listens.

544
00:30:25,560 --> 00:30:28,162
- I hate that.
- Okay, campus Barbie, listen.

545
00:30:28,195 --> 00:30:30,230
- I--
- Look, here's the deal.

546
00:30:30,264 --> 00:30:32,801
We've just been traveling
so much the last few years,

547
00:30:32,833 --> 00:30:36,036
dedicating our lives
to helping children in need

548
00:30:36,070 --> 00:30:38,640
on a grassroots level
for little to no pay.

549
00:30:38,673 --> 00:30:40,040
And now...

550
00:30:41,375 --> 00:30:44,512
We need to come back
and finish school

551
00:30:44,546 --> 00:30:47,682
so we can take our local efforts
to the global stage,

552
00:30:47,716 --> 00:30:53,020
and I'm talking Malawi,
Namibia, Darfur.

553
00:30:58,125 --> 00:31:01,061
- I'll tell you
what I can do. Okay?
- Okay.

554
00:31:01,730 --> 00:31:04,632
Not a fucking thing.
America first.

555
00:31:05,533 --> 00:31:07,201
Student Housing.
This is Amy.

556
00:31:07,234 --> 00:31:09,269
- Did she just say "America first"?
-  - Oh, yes, absolutely.

557
00:31:09,303 --> 00:31:11,706
- She said,
"America first."

558
00:31:11,740 --> 00:31:13,340
Okay...

559
00:31:13,374 --> 00:31:14,441
Huh.

560
00:31:15,008 --> 00:31:17,846
What the hell was I thinking?
Stupid, stupid Darfur.

561
00:31:17,878 --> 00:31:21,850
Yeah, she feels like someone
who would run over protesters
if given the chance.

562
00:31:21,882 --> 00:31:23,551
I can't believe we already
fucked this up.

563
00:31:23,585 --> 00:31:27,187
"We"?
Okay. Maybe it's for the best.

564
00:31:27,221 --> 00:31:28,790
I mean, this is
the dumbest fucking idea

565
00:31:28,823 --> 00:31:30,391
since we both tried
anal bleaching.

566
00:31:30,424 --> 00:31:32,926
Yeah, but if we don't do it,
then we both go to living

567
00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:34,596
on the streets.

568
00:31:34,629 --> 00:31:36,330
- So...
- Okay. Nope. Uh...

569
00:31:36,363 --> 00:31:37,998
My skin won't last a day
in these streets,

570
00:31:38,031 --> 00:31:39,834
so we gotta figure
something out.

571
00:31:39,868 --> 00:31:41,603
I know
all about the skin...

572
00:31:42,436 --> 00:31:43,772
Hold up. Hold up.

573
00:31:43,805 --> 00:31:46,073
Excuse me. Hi. Hi.

574
00:31:46,974 --> 00:31:49,109
Can I borrow you
for a sec?

575
00:32:09,163 --> 00:32:12,499
Why? No, no, no, no.
What the fuck?

576
00:32:13,967 --> 00:32:16,136
Goddammit.

577
00:32:20,207 --> 00:32:22,476
So you're the Upper Decker, huh?

578
00:32:24,779 --> 00:32:27,214
I'm Lindsay.
Looks like we're neighbors.

579
00:32:29,617 --> 00:32:32,953
So should I just call you
"Upper" for short or...?

580
00:32:32,986 --> 00:32:35,155
Uh, I-I'm Elliot. Sorry.

581
00:32:36,256 --> 00:32:38,660
Hmm. Joe "Daddy" Stevenson.

582
00:32:38,693 --> 00:32:40,227
Uh, you know MMA?

583
00:32:40,260 --> 00:32:43,363
Hell, yeah. Well, I mean,
I didn't start getting into it

584
00:32:43,397 --> 00:32:45,232
till Rousey started
fighting but...

585
00:32:45,265 --> 00:32:47,635
Oh, that's, that's--
that's dank.

586
00:32:47,669 --> 00:32:50,638
Yeah.
It's super dank.

587
00:32:52,339 --> 00:32:55,476
Uh, well, I will take these
as I see them.

588
00:32:56,009 --> 00:32:58,145
The danglies
are all yours though.

589
00:33:02,983 --> 00:33:05,452
"Dank"? What the fuck, dude?

590
00:33:30,177 --> 00:33:32,614
Oh, look, it's the International
Man of Mystery.

591
00:33:32,647 --> 00:33:33,781
Oh, Amy.

592
00:33:34,749 --> 00:33:36,083
You passed.

593
00:33:36,584 --> 00:33:37,484
Passed what?

594
00:33:37,519 --> 00:33:40,087
The test to see
if you are one of us.

595
00:33:40,688 --> 00:33:42,991
Can't be too careful
in a college campus nowadays,

596
00:33:43,023 --> 00:33:45,527
what with the deep state
liberal agenda.

597
00:33:53,668 --> 00:33:55,570
You-- you follow the Q?

598
00:33:55,603 --> 00:33:57,605
Do I follow the...

599
00:33:57,639 --> 00:33:59,841
Is George Soros the head
of a major pedophile ring

600
00:33:59,874 --> 00:34:02,109
being run out of metro area
pizza places?

601
00:34:03,443 --> 00:34:05,379
I know you said housing
was full to the brim,

602
00:34:05,412 --> 00:34:08,983
but I think you and I both know
it's up to people like us

603
00:34:09,017 --> 00:34:12,620
to make the silent majority
not so silent!

604
00:34:14,756 --> 00:34:16,423
In places like this.

605
00:34:16,991 --> 00:34:18,660
And my girl Molly Sutter,

606
00:34:18,693 --> 00:34:22,462
she's down for the cause too.
She is. So...

607
00:34:24,331 --> 00:34:27,602
if you can find it
in your heart,

608
00:34:29,202 --> 00:34:31,706
maybe even consider it
your patriotic duty,

609
00:34:31,739 --> 00:34:33,240
to put a roof over our heads.

610
00:34:35,242 --> 00:34:36,644
What do you say?

611
00:34:43,518 --> 00:34:44,552
What are we doing?

612
00:34:48,388 --> 00:34:50,324
Oh, yeah, you dirty
little snowflake.

613
00:34:50,357 --> 00:34:53,528
I'm gonna assimilate you
like a docile minority
population.

614
00:34:53,561 --> 00:34:57,130
Uh, uh... assimilate me,
you filthy little whore.

615
00:34:57,164 --> 00:34:59,433
Hey, don't be a misogynist.

616
00:34:59,466 --> 00:35:01,368
Oh, that's where
you draw the line?

617
00:35:03,370 --> 00:35:06,440
I talk, you fuck.

618
00:35:07,909 --> 00:35:09,176
Mm-hmm. Yup.

619
00:35:12,479 --> 00:35:14,181
So are we doing this or what?

620
00:35:14,214 --> 00:35:16,350
Yeah, just getting it queued up.

621
00:35:16,383 --> 00:35:18,519
Yup.

622
00:35:18,553 --> 00:35:19,887
Yeah, okay.

623
00:35:21,889 --> 00:35:25,325
Oh, Michael B. Jordan.
Michael B. Jordan.
Michael B. Jordan.

624
00:35:25,359 --> 00:35:26,360
Oh, God.

625
00:35:26,393 --> 00:35:28,228
Molly, I could fucking kill you.

626
00:35:28,261 --> 00:35:30,798
You like that?

627
00:35:30,832 --> 00:35:31,866
Don Lemon!

628
00:35:40,608 --> 00:35:43,176
This place isn't
officially affiliated
with the university,

629
00:35:43,210 --> 00:35:46,146
but they do offer
student discounts on rent, so...

630
00:35:46,781 --> 00:35:49,216
Amy, your country thanks you.

631
00:35:49,249 --> 00:35:52,687
Come back to be fucked
by a real American
patriot any day,

632
00:35:52,720 --> 00:35:54,656
you commie Antifa bitch.

633
00:35:54,689 --> 00:35:56,824
No, not if I...

634
00:35:57,959 --> 00:35:59,527
storm their capitol first.

635
00:36:02,664 --> 00:36:03,698
Oh, dear God.

636
00:36:22,717 --> 00:36:25,653
Okay, yeah. Just talk
to her. Just go in.

637
00:36:26,219 --> 00:36:27,689
Hey. Hey, how are you?

638
00:36:28,923 --> 00:36:33,027
I didn't see you there.
Uh, maybe you wanted
to go on a walk?

639
00:36:33,061 --> 00:36:36,396
Okay, maybe you wanna go
on a n-nature hike
alone with me?

640
00:36:36,430 --> 00:36:39,033
What am I?
Yogi fucking Bear?

641
00:36:39,067 --> 00:36:41,268
I-I like-- I like MMA.
I like fighting.

642
00:36:41,301 --> 00:36:42,670
I mean, I know you do too.

643
00:36:42,704 --> 00:36:45,707
Maybe, why don't we just, like,
spar or something?

644
00:36:45,740 --> 00:36:47,008
No, what? Spar.

645
00:36:49,844 --> 00:36:52,914
Just do it. Alright.
One, two, three. Okay.

646
00:36:55,783 --> 00:36:58,553
Hey, I was in the neighborhood
and I just wanted to see...

647
00:36:58,586 --> 00:37:00,655
Oh! Uh, uh...

648
00:37:00,688 --> 00:37:02,056
What the fuck, Chach!

649
00:37:02,090 --> 00:37:04,525
Get the fuck
outta here, bro!

650
00:37:04,559 --> 00:37:06,226
- Aah!
- Get the fuck outta here!

651
00:37:06,259 --> 00:37:08,663
Yup.

652
00:37:08,696 --> 00:37:11,132
Always... always knock,
knock, knock.

653
00:37:11,165 --> 00:37:12,399
Fucking idiot.

654
00:37:21,542 --> 00:37:23,310
- Huh.
- Is this it?

655
00:37:25,245 --> 00:37:26,848
Yeah, this is it.

656
00:37:30,084 --> 00:37:32,352
I think I'm good
sleeping in your car.

657
00:37:38,391 --> 00:37:40,928
Ow! Ow! Fuck!

658
00:37:41,394 --> 00:37:44,999
Mother fuck! Mother fuck!

659
00:37:46,868 --> 00:37:48,903
Is that Scott Perkins?

660
00:37:48,936 --> 00:37:50,972
I think it is.

661
00:37:51,005 --> 00:37:53,241
Didn't he set fire
to the art building
senior year?

662
00:37:53,273 --> 00:37:54,474
For sure.

663
00:37:54,509 --> 00:37:57,845
- Okay.
- Oh, Can't Sing Singer.

664
00:37:57,879 --> 00:37:59,346
- Scotty.
- Paulie.

665
00:37:59,379 --> 00:38:01,481
- Yeah.
- No freaking way.

666
00:38:01,516 --> 00:38:03,818
- Yeah.
- I haven't seen
you guys in years.

667
00:38:03,851 --> 00:38:05,186
Yeah!

668
00:38:05,219 --> 00:38:06,621
- Yeah.
- Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

669
00:38:06,654 --> 00:38:09,157
It's good to see you. Yes.

670
00:38:09,190 --> 00:38:10,457
- Yeah.
- Uh...

671
00:38:10,490 --> 00:38:12,126
Wow. So you work here?

672
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:13,628
Oh, I don't fucking
work here.

673
00:38:13,661 --> 00:38:16,230
I own the whole
freaking building.

674
00:38:16,264 --> 00:38:17,430
- Whoa.
- Oh, wow.

675
00:38:17,464 --> 00:38:20,467
Yeah, I just, uh,
couldn't leave,

676
00:38:20,500 --> 00:38:22,737
- you know, like, after graduation.
-  - Mm.

677
00:38:22,770 --> 00:38:23,938
Like who does that?

678
00:38:23,971 --> 00:38:25,506
- Everybody.
Everybody does that.
- Yeah, well...

679
00:38:25,540 --> 00:38:27,074
- We did it.
- So I was doing my art

680
00:38:27,108 --> 00:38:28,876
and like sort of
squatting here,

681
00:38:28,910 --> 00:38:30,745
and then my grandpa died.

682
00:38:30,778 --> 00:38:33,047
- Oh, my God. Hmm.
- Yeah. Yeah.

683
00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:35,516
No, it's okay.
He was an asshole.

684
00:38:35,550 --> 00:38:37,618
- Hmm.
- But like a really
rich asshole.

685
00:38:37,652 --> 00:38:39,921
- Mm-mmm.
- Which is how I got this place.

686
00:38:41,222 --> 00:38:42,623
And how's that
working for you?

687
00:38:42,657 --> 00:38:46,294
Oh, fucking terrible, man.
Really bad. Um...

688
00:38:46,928 --> 00:38:49,730
Like the first day
I got the keys,
there was a black mold scare.

689
00:38:49,764 --> 00:38:52,133
- Oh.
- And then there was
the incident

690
00:38:52,166 --> 00:38:54,367
where a student
may or may not...

691
00:38:55,236 --> 00:38:58,338
have died after sliding
down the pole.

692
00:38:59,207 --> 00:39:00,174
"Pole"?

693
00:39:06,047 --> 00:39:10,618
Holy mother of fuck pads!

694
00:39:10,651 --> 00:39:12,720
Oh, my God, air hockey!

695
00:39:12,753 --> 00:39:14,088
Ha!

696
00:39:16,591 --> 00:39:18,059
Oh, my God, the pole.

697
00:39:18,092 --> 00:39:20,460
- Yeah, be careful.
- The pole. That's what just--

698
00:39:20,493 --> 00:39:22,763
The pole!

699
00:39:22,797 --> 00:39:24,765
- Get it! Yes.
- Yeah.

700
00:39:24,799 --> 00:39:26,667
- RIP, ladies.
- Uh-huh.

701
00:39:26,701 --> 00:39:28,435
Got a little arcade action.

702
00:39:28,468 --> 00:39:30,204
Alright. Okay. Okay.

703
00:39:30,238 --> 00:39:32,206
- Wow.
- Bowling bowl.

704
00:39:32,240 --> 00:39:33,741
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, Grandpa's.

705
00:39:33,774 --> 00:39:36,944
- Ah!
- Scott, this is perfect.

706
00:39:36,978 --> 00:39:40,447
So, uh, how many months
are we talking about?

707
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,683
Because I'm really behind
on my payments.

708
00:39:42,717 --> 00:39:44,719
I was supposed to have
a sorority sign a lease here,

709
00:39:44,752 --> 00:39:48,022
but they pussied out
when they heard that somebody
may or may not have died here.

710
00:39:48,055 --> 00:39:50,758
Oh, Scott. I get
that someone died here.
You don't need to be vague.

711
00:39:50,791 --> 00:39:51,859
Allegedly.

712
00:39:52,627 --> 00:39:55,329
So you're telling me
no one's even had sex
in this hot tub?

713
00:39:55,363 --> 00:39:57,198
Unfortunately,
not a single sperm

714
00:39:57,231 --> 00:39:58,933
has entered
that chlorinated water.

715
00:39:58,966 --> 00:40:01,936
Okay, so, um, how far behind
on payments are you

716
00:40:01,969 --> 00:40:04,238
before the bank
initiates foreclosure?

717
00:40:04,272 --> 00:40:07,608
Uh, 20 grand-ish.

718
00:40:08,342 --> 00:40:09,510
Okay.

719
00:40:10,410 --> 00:40:11,779
Yeah. Um...

720
00:40:12,412 --> 00:40:13,881
I think we can help you out.

721
00:40:13,915 --> 00:40:16,250
- Great. Just don't
put it in my name.

722
00:40:16,284 --> 00:40:17,450
Hmm.

723
00:40:22,156 --> 00:40:26,459
<i>...Elliot Steiner</i>
<i>has single-handedly</i>
<i>wrecked the MVP run</i>

724
00:40:26,493 --> 00:40:28,529
<i>of potential first-round</i>
<i>draft pick...</i>

725
00:40:28,562 --> 00:40:31,165
<i>Elliot Steiner</i>
<i>has single-handedly...</i>

726
00:40:43,511 --> 00:40:46,113
- What are you doing?
- Trying not to blow our cover.

727
00:40:46,147 --> 00:40:47,715
With a newspaper? No.

728
00:40:47,748 --> 00:40:50,318
Most of these kids
don't even know what that is.

729
00:40:50,351 --> 00:40:52,753
Just put it down.
Act cool.

730
00:40:52,787 --> 00:40:55,189
Get your phone.
Just relax.

731
00:40:59,193 --> 00:41:00,460
The Upper Decker kid.

732
00:41:05,533 --> 00:41:07,568
Okay. That's the guy
who took out

733
00:41:07,601 --> 00:41:09,003
- Demetrius Moss.
- Yes.

734
00:41:09,036 --> 00:41:10,438
He'll be lucky if he gets out
of this semester alive.

735
00:41:10,470 --> 00:41:12,606
Okay, we do not have
until the semester ends.

736
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:16,010
We have until Homecoming
to get this kid
from zero to hero.

737
00:41:16,544 --> 00:41:17,845
Did you just quote
<i>Cool as Ice</i> ?

738
00:41:17,878 --> 00:41:19,780
Hmm. Paraphrased,
but, yes.

739
00:41:19,814 --> 00:41:22,883
- Well, how do you suppose we do that?
-  - With...

740
00:41:24,085 --> 00:41:25,052
this.

741
00:41:26,153 --> 00:41:27,621
Oh, my God.

742
00:41:27,655 --> 00:41:30,124
- Holy shit. Is that Demetrius?
- It is. Yeah.

743
00:41:31,058 --> 00:41:32,492
- Is he?
- He is.

744
00:41:32,526 --> 00:41:34,729
- How, dude?
- Well, in-house investigator.

745
00:41:34,762 --> 00:41:37,198
Dude could dig up dirt on Jesus
if we asked him to.

746
00:41:37,231 --> 00:41:38,599
Mm.

747
00:41:40,201 --> 00:41:41,569
Oh.

748
00:41:48,476 --> 00:41:50,044
Uh-oh.

749
00:41:51,112 --> 00:41:52,213
Who's the girl?

750
00:41:57,918 --> 00:41:59,253
Okay.

751
00:42:08,729 --> 00:42:10,831
- Oh, oh, oh, oh.
- He's coming this way.

752
00:42:10,865 --> 00:42:13,000
- He's coming this way!
- Yeah. Yep, yep,
yep, yep. Okay.

753
00:42:13,034 --> 00:42:14,235
Just, uh...

754
00:42:15,436 --> 00:42:18,706
Whoa.

755
00:42:19,740 --> 00:42:21,375
Oh, uh, hey. Wait,
wait, wait, wait.

756
00:42:21,409 --> 00:42:24,745
Hey, hey. Excuse me!
Excuse me! Hi.

757
00:42:24,779 --> 00:42:27,181
- Sorry, you forgot your book.
- Oh, uh, thanks.

758
00:42:27,214 --> 00:42:28,816
<i>Benazir Bhutto: A Biography.</i>

759
00:42:28,849 --> 00:42:30,618
Yeah, the world's first
female Muslim prime minister.

760
00:42:30,651 --> 00:42:32,787
- Yeah, she's great.
- You must be...

761
00:42:32,820 --> 00:42:35,056
what, like a poli-sci
major or something?

762
00:42:35,089 --> 00:42:36,390
I'm undeclared actually.

763
00:42:36,424 --> 00:42:38,959
- Oh, me too.
- Same. Same, same.

764
00:42:38,993 --> 00:42:41,896
- Yeah. This is Paulie
and I'm Molly.
- Yup, yup, yup.

765
00:42:42,630 --> 00:42:45,232
- Uh...
- And you are?

766
00:42:45,266 --> 00:42:46,901
Elliot. Elliot Steiner.

767
00:42:46,934 --> 00:42:49,703
- Cool.
- Steiner.
I hardly know her.

768
00:42:49,737 --> 00:42:51,405
Okay, well, um,

769
00:42:51,439 --> 00:42:53,808
we're actually thinking
about going to Stillwaters
in like an hour.

770
00:42:53,841 --> 00:42:56,143
- Would you--
You should come with us.
- Oh, yeah.

771
00:42:56,877 --> 00:42:59,548
- You think I'm an idiot?
- What?

772
00:43:00,014 --> 00:43:03,317
Excuse me. Hi. Hello.
No. No, no, no. No. What?

773
00:43:03,350 --> 00:43:07,254
Some old dude and,
and a random lady
just happen to run into me

774
00:43:07,288 --> 00:43:08,689
right after I become a meme.

775
00:43:08,722 --> 00:43:10,124
Whatever you have planned,
I'm not falling for it.

776
00:43:10,157 --> 00:43:13,027
Look, okay, yes.
We... we do know who you are.

777
00:43:13,060 --> 00:43:14,662
But this isn't a trap
or anything like that.

778
00:43:14,695 --> 00:43:16,897
- No, no.
- It's just we know
our way around here.

779
00:43:16,931 --> 00:43:18,567
- Yes.
- And, and we've all got a past

780
00:43:18,599 --> 00:43:19,800
- that we wished
we could forget.
- Ugh.

781
00:43:19,834 --> 00:43:21,936
Paulie here got so drunk
freshman year...

782
00:43:21,969 --> 00:43:24,004
- Oh!
- ...that he passed out
in McConnell Hall

783
00:43:24,038 --> 00:43:25,806
and shit his pants
in his sleep.

784
00:43:25,840 --> 00:43:27,942
- Remember that?
- Yeah, that was you.

785
00:43:27,975 --> 00:43:29,977
- That was you.
- Details. Anyway the point is,

786
00:43:30,010 --> 00:43:33,013
we all deserve a second chance
at a first impression.

787
00:43:34,014 --> 00:43:36,250
I mean, I-I don't--
I don't even drink, so...

788
00:43:36,283 --> 00:43:41,188
Or, you know, we could,
um, convince the girl
to come with us.

789
00:43:41,222 --> 00:43:43,257
- Oh, yeah.
- What girl?

790
00:43:43,290 --> 00:43:46,660
The girl. The girl you're
making googly eyes at
while you were eating.

791
00:43:46,694 --> 00:43:47,928
Yeah.

792
00:43:48,429 --> 00:43:50,097
Steiner? Hello?

793
00:43:50,731 --> 00:43:51,999
- Okay.
- Okay.

794
00:43:52,534 --> 00:43:54,835
Uh, I don't have any plans.

795
00:43:56,337 --> 00:43:59,508
- No plans. There you go.
- That's great. Okay, cool.

796
00:43:59,541 --> 00:44:03,811
Okay, so I think
we have one thing to do
before we go and that is...

797
00:44:03,844 --> 00:44:06,847
- Shave his balls.
- <i>Pretty Woman</i> montage.

798
00:44:06,881 --> 00:44:09,717
- <i>Pretty Woman</i> montage.
- It's gonna be fun.

799
00:44:27,067 --> 00:44:29,136
It's a little
cowboy for me.

800
00:44:29,170 --> 00:44:32,439
It's like a <i>Brokeback</i> chic,
but not so chic.

801
00:44:32,473 --> 00:44:35,309
- Oh, my God!
- Yeah!

802
00:44:35,342 --> 00:44:36,343
Next.

803
00:44:37,612 --> 00:44:39,013
Yeah!

804
00:44:39,046 --> 00:44:42,183
No. He looks like a K-Pop video
just took a shit on him.

805
00:44:43,117 --> 00:44:44,151
In a good way.

806
00:44:52,092 --> 00:44:54,563
Ma'am, I think
you should just get rid
of that outfit altogether.

807
00:44:54,596 --> 00:44:55,963
It needs to not be
in the store.

808
00:44:55,996 --> 00:44:58,799
- The power of Christ
compels you.
- Yes, awful.

809
00:45:10,444 --> 00:45:11,646
Yeah!

810
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,448
- Wow, I love this one.
- Yeah.

811
00:45:14,481 --> 00:45:15,749
Done and done.

812
00:45:15,783 --> 00:45:17,451
You know what I'm saying?
You look great.

813
00:45:33,834 --> 00:45:35,836
Alright. Here you go.

814
00:45:38,105 --> 00:45:40,808
Sure Baby Face Nelson
there is 21?

815
00:45:41,710 --> 00:45:42,943
Absolutely.

816
00:45:42,977 --> 00:45:45,212
You've seen us
in here before.

817
00:45:47,848 --> 00:45:50,818
A hundred times.

818
00:45:51,586 --> 00:45:53,622
Oh, right, Ben, was it?

819
00:45:53,655 --> 00:45:55,889
God, great to see you.

820
00:45:55,923 --> 00:45:57,825
- Cheers, you guys.
- Yeah.

821
00:45:58,759 --> 00:46:00,294
Mr. Franklin.

822
00:46:02,129 --> 00:46:03,197
Here you are.

823
00:46:03,230 --> 00:46:04,999
So do you guys bring

824
00:46:05,533 --> 00:46:07,702
underaged boys here often?

825
00:46:09,504 --> 00:46:12,607
Look, that is
the least illegal thing
going on around here.

826
00:46:12,641 --> 00:46:15,610
Stillwaters is owned
by the Dabrowski family.

827
00:46:15,644 --> 00:46:17,444
You mean the mob guys?

828
00:46:17,478 --> 00:46:18,812
Polish mob.

829
00:46:18,846 --> 00:46:21,115
Why do you think
they have 1997 prices?

830
00:46:21,148 --> 00:46:24,184
It's all a front
to launder money.
Anything goes.

831
00:46:24,218 --> 00:46:27,855
"You will never find
a more wretched hive
of scum and villainy."

832
00:46:27,888 --> 00:46:30,558
So, uh, when's Lindsay
getting here?

833
00:46:31,258 --> 00:46:32,226
Who?

834
00:46:33,160 --> 00:46:34,261
Oh, the girl.

835
00:46:34,295 --> 00:46:35,963
- Oh, uh...
- Yes. Lindsay's not coming.

836
00:46:36,830 --> 00:46:40,669
Well, it would have been
super weird of us to just go up
to an underage stranger

837
00:46:40,702 --> 00:46:42,671
and ask them to a bar.

838
00:46:42,704 --> 00:46:45,372
That's exactly
what you guys did...

839
00:46:46,508 --> 00:46:48,677
- Whoa.
-  - What is fucking happening?

840
00:46:48,710 --> 00:46:50,010
I'm not sure.

841
00:46:52,112 --> 00:46:54,848
- Is he powering down?
What's going on?
- Yo, Punxsutawney Phil,

842
00:46:54,882 --> 00:46:56,150
- get back up here, please.
- Yeah.

843
00:46:56,618 --> 00:46:59,621
Upper Decker!

844
00:46:59,654 --> 00:47:03,257
Showing your face in my bar.

845
00:47:05,392 --> 00:47:06,827
Everything okay, fellas?

846
00:47:06,860 --> 00:47:08,563
Yeah, it's cool.

847
00:47:08,596 --> 00:47:11,165
Just a little, uh,
crowded in here.

848
00:47:11,198 --> 00:47:13,735
About one freshman asshole
over capacity.

849
00:47:22,577 --> 00:47:25,312
- Do your thing, Mol.
- You know,

850
00:47:25,346 --> 00:47:27,549
I'd love to speak with you
in private for a second.

851
00:47:27,582 --> 00:47:29,283
- Huge fan.
- Oh, yeah, sure.

852
00:47:29,316 --> 00:47:31,318
Pretty sure you gonna
be alone with me
for more than a second though.

853
00:47:31,352 --> 00:47:33,621
Yeah, yeah,
I don't doubt that.

854
00:47:33,655 --> 00:47:36,357
Hey, if he tries to run,
sit on him.

855
00:47:50,605 --> 00:47:52,272
You like IPAs?

856
00:48:01,448 --> 00:48:04,251
Wow. That's just rude.

857
00:48:13,293 --> 00:48:15,764
Awesome.

858
00:48:17,998 --> 00:48:20,735
Everyone! Hello.
Please listen up.

859
00:48:20,769 --> 00:48:23,337
Uh, Demetrius here
has an announcement.

860
00:48:24,304 --> 00:48:26,340
Alright. So, uh,
everyone, uh,

861
00:48:26,373 --> 00:48:30,911
I would like to speak
on the events
that have occurred and, um...

862
00:48:31,579 --> 00:48:36,350
Man, fuck this. Alright,
the shit that happened last week
wasn't your fault.

863
00:48:38,553 --> 00:48:40,688
Yeah, I think
if I'm hearing this correctly,

864
00:48:40,722 --> 00:48:43,257
Demetrius is going
on the record to say

865
00:48:43,290 --> 00:48:46,761
that his broken ankle
isn't Elliott Steiner's
fault.

866
00:48:46,795 --> 00:48:48,495
Am I right about that,
Demetrius?

867
00:48:48,530 --> 00:48:50,130
- Correct.
- Whose fault is it?

868
00:48:50,164 --> 00:48:52,299
Barnett University
and its failure to create

869
00:48:52,332 --> 00:48:55,770
distinctive riding
and walking paths on campus.

870
00:48:55,804 --> 00:48:59,406
And Demetrius here
will be suing the university
for upwards of, um...

871
00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:00,642
Twenty million dollars.

872
00:49:00,675 --> 00:49:02,476
Whoa!

873
00:49:02,510 --> 00:49:04,712
Uh, yeah, sure.
Shoot for the moon.

874
00:49:04,746 --> 00:49:07,214
So, uh, we good,
little man.

875
00:49:08,081 --> 00:49:10,819
Hey, yo.
I'm gonna be rich, bitches!

876
00:49:10,852 --> 00:49:12,085
Shots on me.

877
00:49:12,119 --> 00:49:14,488
Whoo!

878
00:49:16,156 --> 00:49:21,529
Shot! Shot! Shot!

879
00:50:00,535 --> 00:50:02,069
So I just move that there.

880
00:50:02,102 --> 00:50:04,171
Oh, no, no, no, no,
that's cheating.

881
00:50:04,204 --> 00:50:05,673
No, it's not. Why can't
I go up the slide?

882
00:50:05,707 --> 00:50:07,742
You cannot climb the slide.
That's not how it works.

883
00:50:07,775 --> 00:50:10,410
You climb the ladder
and then you go down the slide.

884
00:50:10,444 --> 00:50:12,412
- That's how-- Okay, my turn.
- But you keep-- Oh, fine.

885
00:50:14,616 --> 00:50:16,116
- Three. Ha-ha.
- Okay.

886
00:50:16,149 --> 00:50:18,786
Three. One, two, three.

887
00:50:18,820 --> 00:50:20,020
Oh, see? Ladder.

888
00:50:20,053 --> 00:50:21,789
Climb.

889
00:50:25,827 --> 00:50:27,695
Van Singer, party liaison.

890
00:50:27,729 --> 00:50:29,363
Are you fucking kidding me?

891
00:50:29,396 --> 00:50:31,131
Uh...

892
00:50:31,164 --> 00:50:33,233
I am paying you to help my son
get adjusted to college,

893
00:50:33,267 --> 00:50:35,035
not ruin his goddamn life.

894
00:50:35,068 --> 00:50:36,303
I'm not sure
what you're talking about

895
00:50:36,336 --> 00:50:37,872
because I've been here
for two days.

896
00:50:37,906 --> 00:50:40,173
The Demetrius Moss situation
is fixed.

897
00:50:40,207 --> 00:50:42,376
We are taking him
to a rush event
later today and...

898
00:50:42,409 --> 00:50:46,280
<i>minimized the MMA-themed</i>
<i>wardrobe by at least 35%.</i>

899
00:50:47,481 --> 00:50:49,651
Tell me you're
a freshman in college

900
00:50:49,684 --> 00:50:52,754
without telling me you're
a freshman in college.
I'll go first.

901
00:51:00,127 --> 00:51:01,963
Okay, I can see

902
00:51:01,996 --> 00:51:03,731
by the looks of this video--

903
00:51:05,232 --> 00:51:07,067
I don't even feel it! I don't--

904
00:51:07,100 --> 00:51:09,771
- I don't even feel it!
- Oh, my God!

905
00:51:09,804 --> 00:51:11,573
And that video as well,

906
00:51:11,606 --> 00:51:14,776
it may appear that
I'm not in control here,
but I can assure you--

907
00:51:14,809 --> 00:51:17,210
I should have known
this was gonna be
a fucking shit show.

908
00:51:17,244 --> 00:51:20,180
You know what?
Just forget it.

909
00:51:20,213 --> 00:51:22,817
Forget the whole thing.
Forget your job. You're done.

910
00:51:24,886 --> 00:51:26,521
In one day, I've taken your kid

911
00:51:26,554 --> 00:51:29,256
from wanting to run home
with his tail tucked
between his chinos

912
00:51:29,289 --> 00:51:31,425
to wanting to get
the fucking Badger fight song

913
00:51:31,458 --> 00:51:33,628
tattooed on his forehead
Post Malone style.

914
00:51:33,661 --> 00:51:36,496
<i>What do you think</i>
<i>is gonna happen</i>
<i>if I ghost him now?</i>

915
00:51:37,799 --> 00:51:39,199
Let me get him through rush.

916
00:51:39,232 --> 00:51:41,703
<i>And I promise you,</i>
<i>the freshman tradition</i>

917
00:51:41,736 --> 00:51:43,071
<i>of buying Christmas presents</i>

918
00:51:43,103 --> 00:51:44,806
<i>entirely from</i>
<i>the university bookstore</i>

919
00:51:44,839 --> 00:51:46,608
will be well intact.

920
00:51:48,308 --> 00:51:50,912
Okay, keep him off the Tok.

921
00:51:50,945 --> 00:51:53,480
<i>And if you ruin his chances</i>
<i>of a future Senate race,</i>

922
00:51:53,514 --> 00:51:55,049
<i>I swear to God</i>
<i>I will eat you alive</i>

923
00:51:55,083 --> 00:51:57,184
and bury you
in the goddamn desert.

924
00:51:58,886 --> 00:52:00,120
Thanks so much.

925
00:52:05,125 --> 00:52:07,160
- Everything good?
- Yeah.

926
00:52:07,962 --> 00:52:09,797
- Refill?
- Yes, please.

927
00:52:11,532 --> 00:52:14,669
- I saw you cheat, by the way.
- No, I didn't.

928
00:52:18,006 --> 00:52:21,643
So officially,
we are absolutely not able
to haze you little bitches

929
00:52:21,676 --> 00:52:23,210
in any way shape or form.

930
00:52:23,243 --> 00:52:24,779
But unofficially,
you little douche canoes

931
00:52:24,812 --> 00:52:26,514
better get ready for the suck.

932
00:52:27,214 --> 00:52:29,383
We're gonna have
to suck your, like...

933
00:52:30,217 --> 00:52:31,919
What? No.

934
00:52:32,452 --> 00:52:35,089
The suck.
Like from <i>Jarhead.</i>

935
00:52:35,690 --> 00:52:38,826
- Uh...
- Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.

936
00:52:38,860 --> 00:52:41,562
Why don't you guys just go play
some cornhole or something.

937
00:52:44,666 --> 00:52:47,935
I just don't think
I'm really frat material.

938
00:52:47,969 --> 00:52:50,838
Oh, you're not a fan
of relay races
with marshmallows up your butt?

939
00:52:50,872 --> 00:52:52,974
No, no, not at all.

940
00:52:53,007 --> 00:52:57,945
Uh, well, you know,
there's a whole brotherhood
hoorah thing.

941
00:52:57,979 --> 00:52:59,479
Formals are fun.

942
00:52:59,514 --> 00:53:03,651
And there are certain
other advantages.

943
00:53:05,318 --> 00:53:06,821
Ooh, not ready yet.

944
00:53:06,854 --> 00:53:08,656
Yeah. Two more semesters.

945
00:53:09,389 --> 00:53:11,626
Three, if your parents
are religious.

946
00:53:11,659 --> 00:53:13,460
- What?
- Hm?

947
00:53:13,493 --> 00:53:16,931
Nothing. Nothing. Just that,
enjoy the party.

948
00:53:17,932 --> 00:53:19,767
Remind me to check
Grindr later.

949
00:53:21,636 --> 00:53:23,104
Oh, hey!

950
00:53:23,137 --> 00:53:24,304
Oh, hey, Elliot.

951
00:53:24,337 --> 00:53:26,074
Steiner, how you holding up?

952
00:53:26,107 --> 00:53:27,274
Uh...

953
00:53:27,307 --> 00:53:28,976
Wait, you all know each other?

954
00:53:29,010 --> 00:53:30,111
Oh, yeah. We met Elliot

955
00:53:30,144 --> 00:53:32,113
at Stillwaters last night.

956
00:53:32,146 --> 00:53:33,346
Stillwaters.

957
00:53:33,380 --> 00:53:34,982
- Yeah.
- Wow, how'd you get in there?

958
00:53:35,016 --> 00:53:36,718
- I...
- Oh, he just walked right in

959
00:53:36,751 --> 00:53:39,419
like he owned the place.
They didn't even question him.

960
00:53:39,453 --> 00:53:41,221
Mm. Cool.

961
00:53:41,254 --> 00:53:43,323
Very cool. Very cool.

962
00:53:43,356 --> 00:53:45,459
- Um, okay.
- Um...

963
00:53:45,492 --> 00:53:48,763
Uh, should we get some refills?
We'll surprise you guys.

964
00:53:48,796 --> 00:53:52,265
- Refills for us. Paulie.
- We'll be back.

965
00:53:52,299 --> 00:53:55,235
- Guys.
- So...

966
00:53:57,839 --> 00:53:58,973
So...

967
00:53:59,473 --> 00:54:03,410
Hey, um, I'm really sorry
about Stu the other day.

968
00:54:03,443 --> 00:54:05,445
I just started dating him.

969
00:54:05,479 --> 00:54:09,050
He's sweet,
but can be a little
intense sometimes.

970
00:54:09,083 --> 00:54:10,718
No, I'm-- I'm sorry.
I should have knocked.

971
00:54:10,752 --> 00:54:13,688
I didn't see anything,
so don't-- don't worry.

972
00:54:14,222 --> 00:54:16,958
You didn't accidentally
sneak a peek?

973
00:54:16,991 --> 00:54:19,326
God, no, no, no,
I wouldn't do that.

974
00:54:19,359 --> 00:54:23,030
I, I-- No, I meant--
I meant they're great.

975
00:54:23,064 --> 00:54:24,364
You're-- you're great.

976
00:54:24,397 --> 00:54:25,833
You're-- you're pretty.

977
00:54:29,036 --> 00:54:30,337
Good crop this year.

978
00:54:31,139 --> 00:54:33,440
With a few fucking weeds.

979
00:54:33,473 --> 00:54:36,043
What are you doin' here,
perving Peeping Tom next door?

980
00:54:36,077 --> 00:54:37,678
Oh, wait. Babe, be cool.
This is Elliot.

981
00:54:37,712 --> 00:54:41,115
He was just coming by
to apologize
for walking in on us.

982
00:54:41,149 --> 00:54:43,050
Dude, I'm--
I'm so sorry. I--

983
00:54:43,084 --> 00:54:44,484
It was a mistake.
I-I didn't mean...

984
00:54:44,519 --> 00:54:46,521
Dude, don't even fucking
worry about it, bro.

985
00:54:46,554 --> 00:54:49,056
You ain't the first chode
to hallway jerk it to me
and my girl getting it on.

986
00:54:49,090 --> 00:54:51,859
- You won't be the last.
- "Hallway jerk"?
I didn't jerk. I don't--

987
00:54:51,893 --> 00:54:54,162
- Say, you like Jaeger?
- Uh, yeah, I guess.

988
00:54:54,195 --> 00:54:56,697
- Who doesn't? Let's get some.
- Okay.

989
00:54:56,731 --> 00:54:58,900
- I'll introduce you
to the brothers.
- Oh, great.

990
00:55:08,042 --> 00:55:09,811
Time to get a drink, man.

991
00:55:09,844 --> 00:55:12,180
Alright. Hey, listen,
this is Elliot.

992
00:55:12,213 --> 00:55:13,815
Alright. Chaz, drinks, go.

993
00:55:13,848 --> 00:55:15,616
Go, go, go.

994
00:55:16,584 --> 00:55:18,451
Looks like the boys
are coming around.

995
00:55:19,120 --> 00:55:21,354
Something's off.
This guy's got a real

996
00:55:21,388 --> 00:55:22,690
"my dad's lawyer
got me probation

997
00:55:22,723 --> 00:55:24,692
for roofing girls"
kind of vibe.

998
00:55:24,725 --> 00:55:26,994
That's a very
specific vibe, Mol.

999
00:55:27,028 --> 00:55:28,328
Mm. It's what I'm getting.

1000
00:55:31,032 --> 00:55:32,767
Oh, Lindsay. Hey, girl.

1001
00:55:36,604 --> 00:55:39,607
Alright, my brothers
and my brothers' ladies,
listen up.

1002
00:55:40,440 --> 00:55:42,475
I wanna dedicate this shot

1003
00:55:43,311 --> 00:55:45,112
to my boy Elliot here.

1004
00:55:46,514 --> 00:55:49,517
Takes a giant set
of boss level balls

1005
00:55:49,550 --> 00:55:51,919
to show his face around here
after what he did to Dem.

1006
00:55:52,419 --> 00:55:54,487
- Am I right?
- Yeah!

1007
00:55:54,522 --> 00:55:56,691
- Am I right?!
- Yeah!

1008
00:55:56,724 --> 00:56:01,062
So, let's give him
a big Mu welcome!

1009
00:56:01,095 --> 00:56:02,429
On three.

1010
00:56:02,997 --> 00:56:06,767
One... two... three...

1011
00:56:16,010 --> 00:56:17,545
Jesus!

1012
00:56:18,813 --> 00:56:19,981
Uh...

1013
00:56:22,016 --> 00:56:23,584
That's a huge dick!

1014
00:56:29,123 --> 00:56:30,658
Elliot!

1015
00:56:31,525 --> 00:56:34,695
What a fucking loser,
dude. Fuck that guy.

1016
00:56:34,729 --> 00:56:37,632
- Wow, you are not
very bright, are you?
- Yeah.

1017
00:56:37,665 --> 00:56:39,667
You just did that kid
a huge favor.

1018
00:56:39,700 --> 00:56:41,903
I think I did
his parents the favor.

1019
00:56:41,936 --> 00:56:44,639
Probably saved them
50 grand in tuition money.

1020
00:56:45,706 --> 00:56:49,944
You just showed everyone
the massive secret weapon
he's been hiding.

1021
00:56:51,979 --> 00:56:54,548
I mean, it wa--
it wasn't that massive.

1022
00:56:54,582 --> 00:56:57,051
- I've had a few dicks.
It's big.
- Big.

1023
00:56:57,785 --> 00:57:00,420
Yeah, well, too bad he won't
step foot in here again.

1024
00:57:00,453 --> 00:57:03,691
- Hmm.
- My house, my rules.

1025
00:57:03,724 --> 00:57:07,128
Care to make a wager on that,
William Cosby?

1026
00:57:07,995 --> 00:57:09,096
Mr. Pudding Pop?

1027
00:57:09,130 --> 00:57:13,768
Okay, first off,
my name's Stu, Stuart Gable.

1028
00:57:13,801 --> 00:57:15,870
- And second--
- Second, I don't give a fuck.

1029
00:57:15,903 --> 00:57:17,738
Are you man enough
to wager or not?

1030
00:57:17,772 --> 00:57:19,707
- Hm?
- What's the wager?

1031
00:57:21,575 --> 00:57:23,476
Wager. Wager is...

1032
00:57:23,511 --> 00:57:25,346
- Booze-catholon.
- Booze-catholon.

1033
00:57:25,379 --> 00:57:26,747
Saturday. Our place.

1034
00:57:26,781 --> 00:57:29,050
If we win, Elliot gets a bid.

1035
00:57:29,083 --> 00:57:30,418
And if I win?

1036
00:57:30,450 --> 00:57:32,887
Or, let me rephrase that.

1037
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:34,088
When I win.

1038
00:57:34,121 --> 00:57:35,222
I fuck you.

1039
00:57:35,890 --> 00:57:37,425
- What the fuck?
- Or...

1040
00:57:38,092 --> 00:57:40,227
Another option would be...

1041
00:57:40,261 --> 00:57:43,463
- How about...
- Oh, there you go.

1042
00:57:44,198 --> 00:57:45,533
Keys?

1043
00:57:46,033 --> 00:57:47,702
Yes, the whole car, moron.

1044
00:57:47,735 --> 00:57:49,603
- Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
- The car.

1045
00:57:49,637 --> 00:57:52,406
You're on.
You are fucking on!

1046
00:57:52,440 --> 00:57:55,309
Yeah! A fucking car,
dude.

1047
00:57:55,343 --> 00:57:58,412
So much dudebro-ness.

1048
00:57:58,446 --> 00:58:00,114
Better get your pussy ready.

1049
00:58:00,982 --> 00:58:03,317
- My what?
- Your pussy.

1050
00:58:03,351 --> 00:58:05,152
See you Saturday, Stu.

1051
00:58:10,758 --> 00:58:13,961
Steiner, open the door.
It's me, Molly.

1052
00:58:13,995 --> 00:58:16,998
- Go away.
- Oh, come on.
It's not that bad.

1053
00:58:17,031 --> 00:58:19,100
Look,
we've all been there.

1054
00:58:19,133 --> 00:58:21,936
We have?
 When was the last time that you had your wang exposed

1055
00:58:21,969 --> 00:58:23,304
to 100 strangers?

1056
00:58:23,337 --> 00:58:24,638
Did you just say "wang"?

1057
00:58:24,672 --> 00:58:26,741
Oh, my God.
Molly, just go away.

1058
00:58:26,774 --> 00:58:28,242
Okay, seriously, Elliot,

1059
00:58:28,275 --> 00:58:29,777
- we will figure this out. Hm?
- Excuse me.

1060
00:58:29,810 --> 00:58:31,979
It's quiet hours.
So we need you to wrap it up.

1061
00:58:32,013 --> 00:58:35,149
Oh. You know what?
It's so great you're here.

1062
00:58:35,182 --> 00:58:39,320
Because I'm a dummy and I just--
I locked myself out of my room.

1063
00:58:39,353 --> 00:58:40,888
Uh, well, this is
the freshman dorm.

1064
00:58:40,921 --> 00:58:44,792
Um, the grad school dorm
is on north campus.

1065
00:58:44,825 --> 00:58:46,994
First of all,
that is very hurtful.

1066
00:58:47,028 --> 00:58:49,997
- Well...
- Secondly, I just wanna say,

1067
00:58:50,031 --> 00:58:54,468
the two of you are doing
one hell of a job.

1068
00:58:54,502 --> 00:58:56,337
No, I'm serious.

1069
00:58:56,370 --> 00:58:58,305
You're goddamn saints.
Let me tell you,

1070
00:58:58,339 --> 00:59:01,175
all these drunk, horny freshmen
running around here

1071
00:59:01,208 --> 00:59:03,044
like uncaged animals in heat.

1072
00:59:03,077 --> 00:59:06,180
All the-- the vomit
and the foot odor
and the one weird foreign kid

1073
00:59:06,213 --> 00:59:08,849
who insists on cooking
his own meals
in the communal kitchen.

1074
00:59:08,883 --> 00:59:12,086
- Always gets in my nose.
- How do you handle that?

1075
00:59:12,787 --> 00:59:15,056
How do you do it?

1076
00:59:15,089 --> 00:59:17,425
- Whoa.
- Hey, are you okay?

1077
00:59:17,458 --> 00:59:20,294
It's okay.

1078
00:59:20,327 --> 00:59:22,730
They're such assholes.

1079
00:59:22,763 --> 00:59:24,765
I know. I know.

1080
00:59:24,799 --> 00:59:27,268
- They're monsters.
- I know. I know.

1081
00:59:29,036 --> 00:59:30,604
You're all monsters!

1082
00:59:30,638 --> 00:59:32,440
Wow, so much for quiet time.

1083
00:59:32,473 --> 00:59:33,808
They never
trained us for this.

1084
00:59:33,841 --> 00:59:35,076
Oh, everything's fine.

1085
00:59:35,109 --> 00:59:37,211
Everything's good. Okay.

1086
00:59:37,244 --> 00:59:40,014
- You're alright.
- Pull it together.

1087
00:59:40,047 --> 00:59:42,783
I know it is tough out there,
but right now...

1088
00:59:43,451 --> 00:59:44,885
I need your help. I do.

1089
00:59:44,919 --> 00:59:47,021
I need to do a welfare check
on Steiner in there.

1090
00:59:47,054 --> 00:59:48,789
I met him at a counseling center
a week ago

1091
00:59:48,823 --> 00:59:51,592
and he has been sending me
some very alarming text messages

1092
00:59:51,625 --> 00:59:52,660
this evening.

1093
00:59:53,260 --> 00:59:54,795
- Like what?
- Alarming like...?

1094
00:59:54,829 --> 00:59:56,997
Oh, oh.

1095
00:59:57,031 --> 00:59:58,799
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Blood. Everywhere.

1096
00:59:58,833 --> 01:00:00,901
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, get us in there.
Come on.

1097
01:00:02,103 --> 01:00:04,004
Whoa. What the hell!

1098
01:00:04,038 --> 01:00:06,575
Steiner!
Thank God you're okay.

1099
01:00:06,607 --> 01:00:09,110
Oh, I was worried sick.

1100
01:00:09,143 --> 01:00:10,344
You look great. Perfect.

1101
01:00:10,377 --> 01:00:12,046
Alright, you two.

1102
01:00:12,079 --> 01:00:14,982
You have no idea
what difference you just made
in this kid's life.

1103
01:00:15,015 --> 01:00:18,219
- We matter.
- Okay, now it's time to go.

1104
01:00:18,252 --> 01:00:19,554
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.

1105
01:00:20,821 --> 01:00:23,190
Oh, yeah. Um,
by the way, it's...

1106
01:00:23,224 --> 01:00:25,726
- It's still fucking
quiet hours, so...
- Oh, yes.

1107
01:00:25,759 --> 01:00:27,261
- Cool.
- Shh.

1108
01:00:28,996 --> 01:00:31,398
- Phew.
- Are you just trying

1109
01:00:31,432 --> 01:00:33,300
to ruin my life?
Is that it, or...?

1110
01:00:33,334 --> 01:00:36,003
No. What?
No, just the opposite.

1111
01:00:36,036 --> 01:00:40,241
I'm trying to get you to,
you know, grab life
by the tits and embrace it.

1112
01:00:40,274 --> 01:00:43,711
Come on, college is supposed
to be like the greatest time
in your life.

1113
01:00:44,678 --> 01:00:46,714
It is not the greatest
time of my life.

1114
01:00:46,747 --> 01:00:48,115
Everyone wants it to be.
You, my mom.

1115
01:00:48,149 --> 01:00:51,252
But it-- it isn't
and it never will because...

1116
01:00:51,285 --> 01:00:53,888
Because you're a virgin?
Look, we can fix that.

1117
01:00:53,921 --> 01:00:55,189
- Okay, we--
- No, no, because
it just feels like

1118
01:00:55,222 --> 01:00:57,791
that it's not even
my fucking life anymore.

1119
01:00:57,825 --> 01:01:00,361
And it's just a reminder
of the absence of my dad.

1120
01:01:00,394 --> 01:01:02,763
Like I'm his fucking <i>Avatar</i> .

1121
01:01:02,796 --> 01:01:05,065
Hm, well,
that is a great movie.

1122
01:01:05,733 --> 01:01:08,068
- Who the fuck says that?!
- Sorry.

1123
01:01:08,102 --> 01:01:10,237
I don't know why I said that.
That's not...

1124
01:01:10,271 --> 01:01:13,140
I just-- I don't,
I don't even know
what I wanna do with my life,

1125
01:01:13,174 --> 01:01:16,377
let alone what
I'm gonna do here.
Like I-I...

1126
01:01:16,410 --> 01:01:20,447
I just-- I know I just
don't wanna be sad
all the time anymore.

1127
01:01:20,481 --> 01:01:21,815
Hmm...

1128
01:01:23,585 --> 01:01:24,952
Wow. Yeah.

1129
01:01:32,259 --> 01:01:36,430
Look, I-I have no idea
what it must feel like
to lose your dad.

1130
01:01:39,668 --> 01:01:43,270
But I do know
what it's like to have no idea
what you wanna do in your life.

1131
01:01:45,507 --> 01:01:46,907
Hey, at least you care,
you know?

1132
01:01:46,941 --> 01:01:50,878
You're not all numb to it
and fucked up on antidepressants

1133
01:01:50,911 --> 01:01:52,780
in a career that most people
would dream of,

1134
01:01:52,813 --> 01:01:54,949
but you're just
so damn unhappy

1135
01:01:54,982 --> 01:01:57,284
working every day
with people at their worst

1136
01:01:57,318 --> 01:02:00,387
fighting over
who's gonna get to keep
the fucking smart toaster.

1137
01:02:02,489 --> 01:02:05,594
Sorry, yeah,
that's just an example
of someone completely random

1138
01:02:05,627 --> 01:02:09,330
who is definitely more lost
than you are.

1139
01:02:12,399 --> 01:02:13,367
Listen.

1140
01:02:14,268 --> 01:02:15,637
Give me one more chance.

1141
01:02:15,670 --> 01:02:17,037
And if I can't prove to you
by tomorrow

1142
01:02:17,071 --> 01:02:19,039
that the best is yet to come,

1143
01:02:19,608 --> 01:02:21,008
then Paulie and I will go.

1144
01:02:21,041 --> 01:02:23,177
We will vanish into the night.

1145
01:02:24,044 --> 01:02:26,046
Why do you wanna
help me so much?

1146
01:02:28,015 --> 01:02:31,553
Just think of me
as your little Jiminy Cricket

1147
01:02:31,586 --> 01:02:33,754
on your shoulder
hanging out,

1148
01:02:33,787 --> 01:02:37,525
trying to convince you
to be young and have fun.

1149
01:02:38,859 --> 01:02:40,361
And to get fucked up.

1150
01:02:44,965 --> 01:02:47,234
Alright. Gotta get
the party feng shui here.

1151
01:02:47,268 --> 01:02:49,903
- Where do you want this?
- Oh, that's a good spot for it.

1152
01:02:49,937 --> 01:02:51,673
Just back up a little bit.

1153
01:02:51,706 --> 01:02:53,675
No. Go towards Steiner.
Go towards Steiner.

1154
01:02:53,708 --> 01:02:55,009
A little bit more.
Nope, nope, nope.

1155
01:03:01,282 --> 01:03:04,385
Hey, Mol.
"Jews will not replace us.

1156
01:03:04,418 --> 01:03:06,954
- Jews will not replace us."
- Uh-uh. No, absolutely not.

1157
01:03:06,987 --> 01:03:09,023
Yep, out of bounds.
I felt that almost immediately.

1158
01:03:09,056 --> 01:03:10,791
- Wait.
- No, no. No.

1159
01:03:10,824 --> 01:03:13,827
Steiner, you come back now.
Yeah, we're just trying
to even that out.

1160
01:03:13,861 --> 01:03:15,296
Oh, wait, stop. Yeah,
that's perfect.

1161
01:03:15,329 --> 01:03:16,964
- Is it? You sure?
- Yeah, that's good.

1162
01:03:16,997 --> 01:03:18,365
Maybe just a little
bit over here.

1163
01:03:25,939 --> 01:03:27,742
Are you guys sure about this?

1164
01:03:27,776 --> 01:03:29,209
Oh, absolutely, Steiner.

1165
01:03:29,243 --> 01:03:30,944
This vitamin drip
will keep us sober

1166
01:03:30,978 --> 01:03:33,682
- well into the later rounds.
- Yeah, it's the same shit

1167
01:03:33,715 --> 01:03:35,215
they give to Armstrong
for Tour de France.

1168
01:03:35,249 --> 01:03:38,218
- What?
- Relax, I'm joking. Geez.

1169
01:03:42,489 --> 01:03:43,991
Why am I cold?

1170
01:03:44,559 --> 01:03:45,959
Oh, yeah,
just let that happen.

1171
01:03:45,993 --> 01:03:47,796
- Mm-hmm.
- Let it happen.

1172
01:04:15,155 --> 01:04:17,358
This is your party, sir.
Take it all in

1173
01:04:17,391 --> 01:04:19,993
because you are
the coolest guy in the room.

1174
01:04:20,027 --> 01:04:21,796
- I don't know about that.
- Oh, yeah, you are.

1175
01:04:21,830 --> 01:04:24,098
Come on. Seriously.

1176
01:04:34,642 --> 01:04:38,045
No. Patience,
young Padawan. Patience.

1177
01:04:38,078 --> 01:04:40,080
Singer is gonna get her
to come to you.

1178
01:04:40,948 --> 01:04:41,982
Who's Singer?

1179
01:04:42,817 --> 01:04:46,954
Molly. I call her
"Singer" sometimes
because she loves karaoke.

1180
01:04:46,987 --> 01:04:48,523
But she can't sing.

1181
01:04:49,256 --> 01:04:51,225
Just shut the fuck up
and just pay attention.

1182
01:04:52,660 --> 01:04:54,061
Goddamn.

1183
01:04:54,928 --> 01:04:56,363
This party is sick.

1184
01:04:56,397 --> 01:04:59,366
Yeah, how does a student
afford a place like this?

1185
01:05:00,267 --> 01:05:02,169
I heard the Asian dude's
a movie star.

1186
01:05:02,202 --> 01:05:04,204
Chaz. Beer.

1187
01:05:04,238 --> 01:05:05,640
Fuck off. Now.

1188
01:05:07,408 --> 01:05:08,475
You seem tense.

1189
01:05:08,510 --> 01:05:11,311
No, I'm good. There's ice
in these pipes, baby.

1190
01:05:20,354 --> 01:05:21,455
IPAs.

1191
01:05:22,356 --> 01:05:23,991
Even their beer thinks
it's better than me.

1192
01:05:24,024 --> 01:05:28,228
Well, hello, Miss Lindsay
and a whole bunch of dudes.

1193
01:05:28,262 --> 01:05:29,430
How are we doing tonight?

1194
01:05:29,463 --> 01:05:31,498
- We were just conversing.
- Oh.

1195
01:05:31,533 --> 01:05:34,001
How does a student afford
a place like this?

1196
01:05:34,468 --> 01:05:39,473
Oh, well, um, you know
how Imelda Marcos
has like a lot of shoes?

1197
01:05:39,507 --> 01:05:41,275
Well, Paulie's mom has more.

1198
01:05:42,877 --> 01:05:44,546
Who the fuck is Imelda Marcos?

1199
01:05:44,579 --> 01:05:47,281
Yeah, I'm just saying
that they're rich.

1200
01:05:47,314 --> 01:05:48,982
- Really fucking rich.
- Okay.

1201
01:05:49,016 --> 01:05:50,585
Uh, is this your team?

1202
01:05:50,618 --> 01:05:52,352
Yep. And I assume it's you,

1203
01:05:52,386 --> 01:05:53,888
Kung Flu, and Home Phone
over there?

1204
01:05:55,155 --> 01:05:57,157
Okay, first off, racist.

1205
01:05:57,191 --> 01:05:59,561
Second, it's, uh, Phone Home.

1206
01:05:59,594 --> 01:06:03,230
But, um, anyway, our fourth
had to drop out unexpectedly

1207
01:06:03,263 --> 01:06:04,998
and I was hoping
Lindsay could step in.

1208
01:06:05,032 --> 01:06:06,467
- Lindsay?
- Me?

1209
01:06:06,500 --> 01:06:07,635
Yeah.

1210
01:06:07,669 --> 01:06:09,036
Yeah, that's not gonna happen.

1211
01:06:09,069 --> 01:06:11,171
W-wait. Why are you
speaking for me?

1212
01:06:11,205 --> 01:06:13,106
Because you're here with me.

1213
01:06:13,140 --> 01:06:14,609
What, you just think
I'm just gonna let you run off--

1214
01:06:14,642 --> 01:06:17,612
You don't have to let me
do anything. It's my decision.

1215
01:06:18,212 --> 01:06:20,548
- I'm in.
- Oh, yeah.
Get it, girl.

1216
01:06:20,582 --> 01:06:21,616
Okay.

1217
01:06:23,918 --> 01:06:26,253
Ladies and gentlemen,

1218
01:06:26,286 --> 01:06:32,961
welcome to the first annual
Firehouse Booze-catholon!

1219
01:06:34,596 --> 01:06:36,263
Yes.

1220
01:06:36,296 --> 01:06:40,100
Presented to you by my man,
the one, the only,

1221
01:06:40,133 --> 01:06:44,004
Mr. Upper Decker
with huge lower decker!

1222
01:06:44,037 --> 01:06:45,439
He has a huge dick!

1223
01:06:45,472 --> 01:06:47,842
It's Elliot Steiner!

1224
01:06:47,876 --> 01:06:50,077
Yeah!

1225
01:06:52,079 --> 01:06:55,382
Now, this will be a test
of will and endurance

1226
01:06:55,415 --> 01:06:58,285
- between the forces of Ki Mu...
- Mu!

1227
01:06:58,318 --> 01:07:01,321
...and myself, those two--

1228
01:07:01,355 --> 01:07:02,991
We-- we don't really
have a team name,

1229
01:07:03,023 --> 01:07:05,192
but you know, you get
the, uh, point there.

1230
01:07:05,225 --> 01:07:08,195
So if we win,
Elliot gets a bid into Ki Mu,

1231
01:07:08,228 --> 01:07:10,397
but if we lose...
Ho-ho-ho.

1232
01:07:10,430 --> 01:07:14,401
If we lose, Stuart Gable
gets to drive off
with my baby Beamer--

1233
01:07:14,434 --> 01:07:16,004
No!

1234
01:07:16,036 --> 01:07:18,673
No!

1235
01:07:18,706 --> 01:07:22,142
- Big boo! Big boo!
- Mine.

1236
01:07:22,175 --> 01:07:25,513
Alright. You are all witnesses
as well as judges.

1237
01:07:25,547 --> 01:07:27,147
Let the games begin!

1238
01:07:27,180 --> 01:07:29,149
Whoo!

1239
01:07:29,182 --> 01:07:30,919
<i>In what once</i>
<i>would have taken place</i>

1240
01:07:30,952 --> 01:07:32,820
<i>on the sands</i>
<i>of the Roman Colosseum,</i>

1241
01:07:32,854 --> 01:07:34,722
<i>this is the Booze-Catholon.</i>

1242
01:07:34,756 --> 01:07:36,991
<i>Five events that could</i>
<i>only have been conceived</i>

1243
01:07:37,025 --> 01:07:39,027
<i>at a liberal arts college</i>
<i>near you.</i>

1244
01:07:39,092 --> 01:07:40,995
<i>First up, King's Cup.</i>

1245
01:07:44,231 --> 01:07:46,500
Ladies of the night.

1246
01:07:46,968 --> 01:07:49,102
Mmm.

1247
01:07:51,973 --> 01:07:55,242
Nine. It's a rhyme.

1248
01:07:55,275 --> 01:07:56,443
- Stack.
<i>- Molly testing...</i>

1249
01:07:56,476 --> 01:07:57,745
- Um, Black.
- <i>...the short-term memory</i>

1250
01:07:57,912 --> 01:07:59,547
- <i>of these binge-drinkers</i>
<i>with a rhyme.</i>
- Tack.

1251
01:08:00,048 --> 01:08:01,448
Jacked.

1252
01:08:02,717 --> 01:08:04,719
- Black!
-  - <i>I can smell</i> <i>the student loans</i>

1253
01:08:04,752 --> 01:08:06,588
<i>not being paid back</i>
<i>by this Chaz kid.</i>

1254
01:08:06,621 --> 01:08:08,990
How hard is it
to fucking rhyme, Chaz?

1255
01:08:10,959 --> 01:08:13,828
<i>Johnny pays homage</i>
<i>to the crowd</i>

1256
01:08:13,861 --> 01:08:15,730
<i>as does young Steiner.</i>

1257
01:08:17,632 --> 01:08:20,034
Oh!

1258
01:08:20,068 --> 01:08:23,470
<i>That pitcher</i>
<i>is filling up faster</i>
<i>than these kids' bladders.</i>

1259
01:08:24,739 --> 01:08:26,239
<i>And that seals it, folks.</i>

1260
01:08:26,273 --> 01:08:29,309
<i>The last king</i>
<i>goes to Greg from Ki Mu.</i>

1261
01:08:29,877 --> 01:08:36,684
Chug, chug, chug,
chug, chug, chug.

1262
01:08:36,718 --> 01:08:39,219
<i>Greg's showing</i>
<i>the chugging ability</i>

1263
01:08:39,252 --> 01:08:42,255
<i>of a toddler enjoying</i>
<i>his sippy cup.</i>

1264
01:08:43,357 --> 01:08:45,492
<i>Having a drinking contest</i>
<i>without Beer Pong</i>

1265
01:08:45,526 --> 01:08:47,662
<i>is like an orgy</i>
<i>without a pivot person.</i>

1266
01:08:47,695 --> 01:08:51,198
<i>Beer Pong consists of-- Ugh.</i>
<i>You know what? No. No.</i>

1267
01:08:51,231 --> 01:08:52,567
<i>If you don't know</i>
<i>what Beer Pong is,</i>

1268
01:08:52,600 --> 01:08:54,401
<i>you need to focus more</i>
<i>on the fucking rock</i>

1269
01:08:54,434 --> 01:08:55,770
<i>that you've been living under.</i>

1270
01:08:55,803 --> 01:08:57,437
<i>Let's just see where this goes.</i>

1271
01:09:08,650 --> 01:09:11,819
<i>Gable lining up this last shot</i>
<i>with the same blind confidence</i>

1272
01:09:11,853 --> 01:09:15,089
<i>that allowed him</i>
<i>to walk out of the door</i>
<i>with that shirt on tonight.</i>

1273
01:09:15,123 --> 01:09:16,289
<i>Bang!</i>

1274
01:09:16,323 --> 01:09:18,392
<i>And the boys from Ki Mu</i>

1275
01:09:18,425 --> 01:09:20,662
<i>draw even with Team Molly.</i>

1276
01:09:20,695 --> 01:09:24,032
Congratulations,
you won the McDonald's
of fucking drinking games.

1277
01:09:24,065 --> 01:09:25,365
Basic bro.

1278
01:09:39,514 --> 01:09:41,348
<i>Steiner drops</i>
<i>the thumb on the table</i>

1279
01:09:41,381 --> 01:09:45,787
<i>and once again Chaz</i>
<i>proved to be as sharp</i>
<i>as a goddamn bowling ball.</i>

1280
01:09:50,424 --> 01:09:53,460
<i>The Mu's Johnny fails to remove</i>
<i>the Invisible Man</i>

1281
01:09:53,493 --> 01:09:56,964
<i>and will be downing</i>
<i>the remainder of his brew.</i>

1282
01:10:00,902 --> 01:10:04,505
<i>Stu Gable drops the last card.</i>
<i>What is this?</i>

1283
01:10:09,744 --> 01:10:12,647
I want your shorts
on your head, please.

1284
01:10:13,280 --> 01:10:14,982
<i>No word</i>
<i>if he's going commando,</i>

1285
01:10:15,016 --> 01:10:19,587
<i>though as white</i>
<i>as those shorts are,</i>
<i>I would hope to God not.</i>

1286
01:10:21,956 --> 01:10:25,727
<i>The pile is getting thick</i>
<i>and the natives</i>
<i>are getting restless.</i>

1287
01:10:33,901 --> 01:10:35,103
Pop off that shirt.

1288
01:10:35,136 --> 01:10:37,404
Mm? Excuse me?

1289
01:10:37,437 --> 01:10:39,507
Stu, what are you doing?
You won.

1290
01:10:39,540 --> 01:10:41,809
No, she made me wear
my shorts as a hat.

1291
01:10:41,843 --> 01:10:44,377
Now, I'm the king.
You're the asshole.

1292
01:10:44,411 --> 01:10:45,947
Pop off that fucking shirt.

1293
01:10:45,980 --> 01:10:47,582
Alright, yeah.
He's right.

1294
01:10:47,615 --> 01:10:49,817
And you are the king
after all, so...

1295
01:10:51,986 --> 01:10:53,386
Shirt's coming off.

1296
01:11:01,294 --> 01:11:03,998
<i>Holy shit,</i>
<i>Peter, look out!</i>

1297
01:11:04,031 --> 01:11:05,833
<i>It's a trap.</i>

1298
01:11:08,770 --> 01:11:09,937
Put your shirt back on.

1299
01:11:09,971 --> 01:11:12,006
It is a little stuffy.
I think I'll just keep it off.

1300
01:11:12,039 --> 01:11:13,708
Put your shirt back on.

1301
01:11:13,741 --> 01:11:16,110
I don't know,
I'm feeling good like this.

1302
01:11:16,144 --> 01:11:17,912
You know that's not true.

1303
01:11:18,746 --> 01:11:21,549
- Tell her.
<i>- A victory for Ki Mu</i>

1304
01:11:21,582 --> 01:11:24,018
<i>turns into a moral defeat</i>
<i>for Gable...</i>

1305
01:11:24,051 --> 01:11:25,953
- Please.
- <i>...and his cable.</i>

1306
01:11:26,521 --> 01:11:29,624
<i>Ki Mu really testing</i>
<i>their lung capacity and IQs</i>

1307
01:11:29,657 --> 01:11:32,392
<i>as they try and blow</i>
<i>the perfect smoke ring.</i>

1308
01:11:35,696 --> 01:11:39,801
<i>Meanwhile, Paulie, the prince,</i>
<i>gives Ki Mu his resting O face</i>

1309
01:11:39,834 --> 01:11:42,003
<i>as he blows</i>
<i>three perfect rings,</i>

1310
01:11:42,036 --> 01:11:45,907
<i>and we are tied</i>
<i>going into the final event.</i>

1311
01:11:48,341 --> 01:11:50,878
Alright.
Fucking hands off.

1312
01:12:07,295 --> 01:12:10,064
Yeah! Attaboy!

1313
01:12:17,972 --> 01:12:19,006
You know what?

1314
01:12:26,280 --> 01:12:28,082
And then there were two.

1315
01:12:28,115 --> 01:12:29,984
What are you doing?

1316
01:12:31,018 --> 01:12:32,119
Letting you handle it.

1317
01:12:34,589 --> 01:12:37,490
- Hey. Whoa, Elliot.
- Or maybe one.

1318
01:12:38,326 --> 01:12:39,594
Where are you going?

1319
01:12:40,228 --> 01:12:41,629
Why did you do that?
We could have had him.

1320
01:12:41,662 --> 01:12:43,631
Okay. Whoa, whoa,
we do still have him.

1321
01:12:43,664 --> 01:12:45,166
- You have him.
- No, we don't.

1322
01:12:45,199 --> 01:12:46,634
I mean, have you
seen that guy?

1323
01:12:46,667 --> 01:12:48,903
You're not fighting
in the fucking octagon.

1324
01:12:48,936 --> 01:12:50,271
This is a game of skill.

1325
01:12:50,304 --> 01:12:51,906
- Yes, he is.
- What?

1326
01:12:51,939 --> 01:12:54,942
Elliot, this your octagon.

1327
01:12:55,442 --> 01:12:57,845
It's Sarah versus Carter,
UFC 31.

1328
01:12:57,879 --> 01:13:01,549
Yeah. Yes. Sierra Mist
versus Aaron Carter, or...

1329
01:13:02,449 --> 01:13:03,951
Look, okay, no.

1330
01:13:05,519 --> 01:13:07,588
This is a defining moment.

1331
01:13:07,622 --> 01:13:09,389
Now what's it gonna be?

1332
01:13:10,124 --> 01:13:11,092
Hm?

1333
01:13:17,531 --> 01:13:19,600
Yeah! Alright!

1334
01:13:19,634 --> 01:13:21,002
Yo, look who's back.

1335
01:13:21,736 --> 01:13:23,104
<i>It's not over yet, folks,</i>

1336
01:13:23,137 --> 01:13:26,007
<i>as it appears that Steiner</i>
<i>is ready to re-engage.</i>

1337
01:13:26,040 --> 01:13:28,876
What,
did you grow some balls
out there or something?

1338
01:13:28,910 --> 01:13:30,077
Yeah.

1339
01:13:30,111 --> 01:13:31,345
I doubt that.

1340
01:13:31,379 --> 01:13:33,147
<i>Dynamite back and forth</i>

1341
01:13:33,180 --> 01:13:34,882
<i>between two wordsmiths.</i>

1342
01:13:35,616 --> 01:13:37,919
- Come on. Nice and easy.
- Chaz, do not touch.

1343
01:13:37,952 --> 01:13:41,622
<i>The steady hand</i>
<i>of the third-year senior</i>
<i>raises up.</i>

1344
01:13:42,957 --> 01:13:44,525
<i>Whammo!</i>

1345
01:13:44,558 --> 01:13:46,394
<i>Gable gambles and wins</i>

1346
01:13:46,459 --> 01:13:50,531
<i>and Steiner has</i>
<i>a cricket's cock</i>
<i>of a chance of winning this.</i>

1347
01:13:51,365 --> 01:13:53,000
<i>Here's the pour.</i>

1348
01:13:55,369 --> 01:13:58,205
<i>Holy shit, he did it!</i>

1349
01:13:58,239 --> 01:14:00,341
- Hey!
- Nice!

1350
01:14:09,016 --> 01:14:11,585
Alright, man.
Breathe. Breathe.

1351
01:14:11,619 --> 01:14:13,187
I'm fucking breathing.

1352
01:14:23,197 --> 01:14:26,000
<i>Skadoosh! It's over!</i>

1353
01:14:27,335 --> 01:14:29,370
<i>The Upper Decker</i>
<i>meets redemption.</i>

1354
01:14:29,403 --> 01:14:31,605
<i>Stu Gable meets rejection</i>

1355
01:14:31,639 --> 01:14:34,375
<i>and there is a fat guy</i>
<i>in the corner puking.</i>

1356
01:14:34,408 --> 01:14:38,079
<i>It's like I'm watching</i> Rudy
<i>for the first fucking time.</i>

1357
01:14:43,017 --> 01:14:45,987
I can't believe you did that.

1358
01:14:47,722 --> 01:14:49,957
Oh, my God.
I'm scared.

1359
01:14:49,991 --> 01:14:51,325
Jump.

1360
01:14:53,094 --> 01:14:55,663
Aah!

1361
01:14:55,696 --> 01:14:57,064
Wait. Wait, wait, wait.

1362
01:14:57,465 --> 01:15:00,901
I have to ask you
a very important question.

1363
01:15:00,935 --> 01:15:01,902
What?

1364
01:15:03,471 --> 01:15:04,905
How far are the dorms?

1365
01:15:04,939 --> 01:15:07,675
Oh, pfft...
Not even that far.

1366
01:15:13,414 --> 01:15:15,249
Yeah, that's like
really fucking far.

1367
01:15:15,282 --> 01:15:18,386
Oh, rats.

1368
01:15:26,327 --> 01:15:27,928
Ooh!

1369
01:15:31,265 --> 01:15:33,934
Oh, my God.
Look at his abs.

1370
01:15:33,968 --> 01:15:36,771
They look like the bottom
of a carton of eggs.

1371
01:15:37,371 --> 01:15:38,806
He's called you,
like, seven times.

1372
01:15:38,839 --> 01:15:40,408
You should probably
call him back.

1373
01:15:40,875 --> 01:15:43,277
I mean, I don't think
you'd like him
when he's angry.

1374
01:15:43,310 --> 01:15:46,714
Are you trying to say
that I'm dating the Hulk?

1375
01:15:46,747 --> 01:15:49,784
Well, I mean, I don't know
if he has the charm of the Hulk,

1376
01:15:49,817 --> 01:15:51,552
but I mean...

1377
01:15:51,585 --> 01:15:54,088
he's got the abs, so kinda.

1378
01:15:55,556 --> 01:15:57,558
No, seriously you should
probably call him back.

1379
01:15:57,591 --> 01:16:00,094
I mean, he is your guy.

1380
01:16:06,467 --> 01:16:07,735
Elliot Steiner...

1381
01:16:09,837 --> 01:16:12,807
I think that you are my guy.

1382
01:16:23,884 --> 01:16:26,821
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
Hey, wait! You two! Right there.

1383
01:16:26,854 --> 01:16:29,524
No, no, no. No whoopee
in the amphitheater
and you know it.

1384
01:16:29,558 --> 01:16:32,293
Get on back to the dorms now.

1385
01:16:33,260 --> 01:16:34,829
It's not a rabbit hutch.

1386
01:16:36,230 --> 01:16:37,631
Sorry, sir!

1387
01:16:54,381 --> 01:16:56,784
- Hey.
- Hey.

1388
01:16:56,817 --> 01:16:58,919
Sorry. I didn't know
if I should have left.

1389
01:16:58,953 --> 01:17:01,856
I didn't really feel right
about leaving you alone, so...

1390
01:17:01,889 --> 01:17:03,124
I don't mind.

1391
01:17:03,824 --> 01:17:06,227
Pretty chivalrous actually.

1392
01:17:07,294 --> 01:17:08,329
Come here.

1393
01:17:21,909 --> 01:17:24,345
I really
wanna kiss you right now,

1394
01:17:24,945 --> 01:17:27,616
but it feels like a cat
peed in my mouth.

1395
01:17:27,648 --> 01:17:30,751
That's so tempting.
I might just risk it.

1396
01:17:30,784 --> 01:17:32,686
Oh, you might risk it?

1397
01:17:32,720 --> 01:17:35,089
- I think so. Yeah.
- Mm, you do?

1398
01:17:35,956 --> 01:17:39,226
- Oh, God. Okay, that was--
that was bad.
- Fucker.

1399
01:17:40,629 --> 01:17:41,962
What were you watching?

1400
01:17:42,564 --> 01:17:45,132
Just an old show
called <i>The Pit.</i>

1401
01:17:46,535 --> 01:17:48,335
Why do you like fighting
so much?

1402
01:17:49,937 --> 01:17:50,905
Um...

1403
01:17:52,541 --> 01:17:57,077
A couple of years ago,
when my dad got sick,

1404
01:17:57,111 --> 01:18:01,282
uh, he just got really,
really depressed. And...

1405
01:18:02,883 --> 01:18:05,386
uh, we were watching
TV one night.

1406
01:18:05,419 --> 01:18:07,054
Um, we were just surfing
the channels

1407
01:18:07,087 --> 01:18:11,425
and I stopped on this show
about this MMA fighter

1408
01:18:11,458 --> 01:18:13,928
who was diagnosed
with leukemia.

1409
01:18:15,329 --> 01:18:18,933
I think seeing two guys,
one in a similar
situation to his

1410
01:18:18,966 --> 01:18:21,001
just beat the living shit
out of each other

1411
01:18:21,035 --> 01:18:24,205
really fired him up
to beat his own disease.

1412
01:18:26,140 --> 01:18:27,174
And did he?

1413
01:18:28,108 --> 01:18:29,143
For another year.

1414
01:18:31,912 --> 01:18:34,748
Oh, he sounds like
a really great guy.

1415
01:18:35,783 --> 01:18:37,785
Yeah, he was.

1416
01:18:40,921 --> 01:18:43,190
You're a pretty
good guy too, you know?

1417
01:18:43,224 --> 01:18:46,293
Are you just trying
to butter me up
for another cat pee kiss?

1418
01:18:46,327 --> 01:18:49,230
Actually, I was trying
to butter you up
for some coffee.

1419
01:18:49,263 --> 01:18:52,099
- Oh, okay. Well, I'll get some.
- No, come here.

1420
01:19:12,753 --> 01:19:14,488
I can't believe
it's already Homecoming.

1421
01:19:14,522 --> 01:19:16,156
It feels like we just got here.

1422
01:19:16,190 --> 01:19:17,891
Anyway, after the game,
I was thinking...

1423
01:19:17,925 --> 01:19:20,828
Uh, Paulie, what is going on
with all this action?

1424
01:19:20,861 --> 01:19:24,198
I've got a test tomorrow
and my memory
is not what it used to be.

1425
01:19:24,231 --> 01:19:26,267
So if I just write it
over and over,
maybe I'll remember.

1426
01:19:26,300 --> 01:19:30,672
No, no, no. I was talking
more global, like,
what's with all the action?

1427
01:19:30,705 --> 01:19:32,741
All the books and stuff.

1428
01:19:32,773 --> 01:19:34,743
Okay. So a few weeks ago,

1429
01:19:34,775 --> 01:19:36,745
I saw this cute TA
walk into the psych building.

1430
01:19:36,777 --> 01:19:38,312
- Mm-hmm.
- So I followed him.

1431
01:19:38,345 --> 01:19:40,014
- Naturally.
- Right.

1432
01:19:40,047 --> 01:19:42,049
Didn't matter 'cause the minute
I walked in, I lost him.

1433
01:19:42,082 --> 01:19:44,151
Fricking six-foot-three gazelle.
I don't know how.

1434
01:19:44,184 --> 01:19:46,287
But it turns out,
I wandered into one
of the lecture halls.

1435
01:19:46,320 --> 01:19:47,254
Saucy.

1436
01:19:47,288 --> 01:19:48,856
Sat down,
listened for a minute,

1437
01:19:48,889 --> 01:19:51,559
and it was a lecture
on early adolescent psychology.

1438
01:19:51,593 --> 01:19:53,595
- Hot.
- Tsk. You can stop.

1439
01:19:53,628 --> 01:19:55,329
- Oh, yeah, right.
- Long story short,

1440
01:19:55,362 --> 01:19:58,299
I like what I heard,
so I went to another one.

1441
01:19:58,332 --> 01:19:59,433
What?

1442
01:19:59,466 --> 01:20:00,702
- I know.
- Paulie!

1443
01:20:00,735 --> 01:20:02,169
And another one.

1444
01:20:02,202 --> 01:20:03,971
- Wow.
- Yeah.

1445
01:20:04,004 --> 01:20:07,474
Oh, my God. You're like
a... student here.

1446
01:20:07,509 --> 01:20:08,976
I think I am.

1447
01:20:09,877 --> 01:20:11,045
That's great.

1448
01:20:11,078 --> 01:20:12,946
I'm really happy for you.

1449
01:20:12,980 --> 01:20:14,281
- You are?
- Mm-hmm.

1450
01:20:14,315 --> 01:20:16,718
So happy you'll leave me alone
so I can study?

1451
01:20:16,751 --> 01:20:18,319
Yeah, I'll leave you alone

1452
01:20:18,352 --> 01:20:20,187
- so you can study.
- Yeah. Alright.

1453
01:20:20,220 --> 01:20:22,022
- You know what? Steiner.
- Alright.

1454
01:20:22,056 --> 01:20:23,692
- Get me a burrito or something?
- Oh, yeah.

1455
01:20:23,725 --> 01:20:25,125
- Thank you.
- You want that brain burrito?

1456
01:20:25,159 --> 01:20:27,662
- Yes, please. Yes, please.
- Okay. Good for you.

1457
01:20:27,696 --> 01:20:29,830
- Love ya.
- Bye. Love you.

1458
01:20:29,863 --> 01:20:32,499
- Hey, Steiner. Ugh. Wait up.
- Hey.

1459
01:20:32,534 --> 01:20:34,868
- What you up to?
- I'm just headed to class.

1460
01:20:34,902 --> 01:20:37,706
- Oh, my God, it's spreading.
- What?

1461
01:20:37,739 --> 01:20:39,541
Ah, no. Not important.

1462
01:20:40,207 --> 01:20:43,043
I just, um, you know,
I haven't seen you in a while.

1463
01:20:43,077 --> 01:20:45,079
Wanted to make sure
everything's okay.

1464
01:20:45,112 --> 01:20:47,314
Yeah, yeah, I just, um,
I've been busy

1465
01:20:47,348 --> 01:20:49,383
with the other pledges
and Lindsay, and it's just...

1466
01:20:49,416 --> 01:20:52,119
Ah, trading us in
for a younger model.

1467
01:20:52,152 --> 01:20:54,288
What? No, no, no, no,
not at all. I, I...

1468
01:20:54,321 --> 01:20:56,357
I'm just fucking with you,
Steiner. It's all good.

1469
01:20:56,390 --> 01:20:58,425
I think it's great.

1470
01:20:58,459 --> 01:20:59,694
Lindsay's great.

1471
01:21:00,294 --> 01:21:03,063
But, hey,
I'm still gonna see you
at Tequila Sunrise, right?

1472
01:21:03,097 --> 01:21:04,766
- Yeah, of course.
- Okay. Well, then I'll--

1473
01:21:04,799 --> 01:21:06,735
I'll just let you
get to class.

1474
01:21:06,768 --> 01:21:08,035
Where are you off to?

1475
01:21:08,570 --> 01:21:11,539
I, uh, I have a little
homework situation myself.

1476
01:21:11,573 --> 01:21:14,208
- Oh, well,
I'll catch you later.
- Okay.

1477
01:21:16,544 --> 01:21:17,579
Oh.

1478
01:21:29,289 --> 01:21:32,292
Mm.
 I know we're coming down this weekend with Mom and Dad,

1479
01:21:32,326 --> 01:21:34,928
but when I found out
my little baby brother
was in the city...

1480
01:21:34,962 --> 01:21:37,498
I just knew I had
to get some real food in ya.

1481
01:21:40,134 --> 01:21:41,636
Well, you are really
digging into that.

1482
01:21:41,669 --> 01:21:43,705
I guess they don't have

1483
01:21:43,738 --> 01:21:45,305
any rib eyes on campus, huh?

1484
01:21:45,774 --> 01:21:49,209
I mean, dining hall's
pretty much
a Hometown Buffet, so...

1485
01:21:49,243 --> 01:21:52,346
Gross. Oh, anyhoo,
how was the interview?

1486
01:21:52,379 --> 01:21:57,351
Ugh, I know Dad is so excited
to have you interning
at the firm this summer.

1487
01:21:57,384 --> 01:22:00,287
It was great.
A lot of talent over there,
though. I'll tell you what.

1488
01:22:00,320 --> 01:22:02,956
It'll be a good summer
for the Stu man,
if you know what I'm saying.

1489
01:22:02,990 --> 01:22:06,628
Oh, yeah, I get that.

1490
01:22:12,166 --> 01:22:14,569
- Goddammit.
- Ugh. I know.

1491
01:22:15,169 --> 01:22:16,970
The service here is abysmal.

1492
01:22:17,004 --> 01:22:19,039
- Excuse me.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.

1493
01:22:19,072 --> 01:22:21,543
Just a bitch
I go to school with.

1494
01:22:22,109 --> 01:22:24,278
I'm just not sure I like you
actually using that--

1495
01:22:25,946 --> 01:22:27,314
That bitch?

1496
01:22:28,048 --> 01:22:29,283
Molly Singer.

1497
01:22:29,950 --> 01:22:31,318
No, Molly Sutter.

1498
01:22:32,854 --> 01:22:35,590
- Singer.
- No. Sutter.

1499
01:22:35,623 --> 01:22:37,659
- Singer.
- No. Sutter.

1500
01:22:37,692 --> 01:22:39,326
- Singer!
- Sutter!

1501
01:22:39,359 --> 01:22:42,262
That girl sitting at the bar
right now is Molly Singer.

1502
01:22:42,296 --> 01:22:44,431
I went to school with her.
She made my life a living hell.

1503
01:22:45,533 --> 01:22:48,636
That girl right there
is Molly Sutter.

1504
01:22:48,670 --> 01:22:50,572
I go to school with her.

1505
01:22:51,038 --> 01:22:53,273
She's friends
with this asshole Asian,

1506
01:22:53,307 --> 01:22:56,109
shows up at every single
fucking frat party I have.

1507
01:22:56,143 --> 01:22:57,679
- Must think he's--
- Paulie.

1508
01:23:00,113 --> 01:23:01,883
Come on. We're leaving.

1509
01:23:01,916 --> 01:23:05,486
Something smells rotten here.

1510
01:23:05,520 --> 01:23:06,855
And it is not the fish.

1511
01:23:06,888 --> 01:23:08,388
Wait a minute.
Can I just finish my steak?

1512
01:23:08,422 --> 01:23:09,389
Stuart!

1513
01:23:11,391 --> 01:23:15,763
Oh, gotta admit,
you really changed
my opinion of you, Molly.

1514
01:23:16,631 --> 01:23:17,599
Really?

1515
01:23:18,465 --> 01:23:19,433
Yeah.

1516
01:23:19,934 --> 01:23:21,736
We lost so much money
on Pebblebrook,

1517
01:23:21,769 --> 01:23:23,638
I had to lay people off.

1518
01:23:23,671 --> 01:23:24,772
Jesus.

1519
01:23:24,806 --> 01:23:26,139
Yeah, well,
it was just Nelson.

1520
01:23:26,173 --> 01:23:28,108
Oh, well,
that I could see.

1521
01:23:29,243 --> 01:23:31,245
So, Elliot.
Tell me everything.

1522
01:23:31,278 --> 01:23:33,748
Every little detail
gets you closer
to being rehired.

1523
01:23:33,781 --> 01:23:36,049
Oh, uh, Elliot.

1524
01:23:36,083 --> 01:23:38,285
Well, he's nice as hell.
A little too nice.

1525
01:23:38,318 --> 01:23:40,053
We've been working on that.

1526
01:23:40,087 --> 01:23:43,223
And he, uh,
overanalyzes everything.

1527
01:23:44,124 --> 01:23:46,828
But when he takes
a leap on something,
he really commits.

1528
01:23:46,861 --> 01:23:49,329
You know,
and I feel like he's walking
this perfect tightrope

1529
01:23:49,363 --> 01:23:52,199
of having the world
chew him up
and spit him out

1530
01:23:52,232 --> 01:23:54,702
or single-handedly
changing it
for the better.

1531
01:23:57,572 --> 01:23:58,773
That was Carl.

1532
01:24:00,307 --> 01:24:03,410
You know, I used
to think naivete
was a-- a flaw.

1533
01:24:04,879 --> 01:24:06,146
I saw it in Elliot.

1534
01:24:07,015 --> 01:24:11,151
I think that's why I acted like
such as tiger mom on steroids.

1535
01:24:11,184 --> 01:24:14,121
I just wanted to protect him
from it all, you know?

1536
01:24:15,455 --> 01:24:17,959
Well, take it from someone
who has met and dated

1537
01:24:17,992 --> 01:24:20,494
every shithead
this planet has to offer.

1538
01:24:21,729 --> 01:24:23,297
He's a really good kid.

1539
01:24:24,032 --> 01:24:25,767
And you should be proud.

1540
01:24:27,100 --> 01:24:28,402
You both should.

1541
01:24:30,738 --> 01:24:34,576
Anyway, um, I was thinking
after Homecoming this weekend,

1542
01:24:34,609 --> 01:24:39,179
you could come back and,
you know, start generating
some billable hours.

1543
01:24:39,212 --> 01:24:42,951
I've got a really messy divorce
with a 200-page prenup

1544
01:24:42,984 --> 01:24:44,552
that's got your name
all over it.

1545
01:24:44,586 --> 01:24:47,354
- Oh...
- So...

1546
01:24:47,387 --> 01:24:50,090
- To Molly Singer.
- Okay.

1547
01:24:50,725 --> 01:24:53,327
I hope your second time
around was fun.

1548
01:24:53,360 --> 01:24:55,362
And welcome back to reality.

1549
01:25:18,853 --> 01:25:20,253
Are you sure
we can trust these guys?

1550
01:25:20,287 --> 01:25:21,789
Yes, these are my boys.

1551
01:25:21,823 --> 01:25:23,992
- We're gonna fuck shit up.
Right, guys?
- Right.

1552
01:25:24,025 --> 01:25:25,325
- Yeah. Yup.
- Yeah.

1553
01:25:25,359 --> 01:25:27,227
Does anyone have to make
before we leave?

1554
01:25:27,260 --> 01:25:29,329
- No, we're good. Let's go.
- Okay.

1555
01:25:36,104 --> 01:25:37,605
Goddammit, Chaz.

1556
01:25:59,961 --> 01:26:01,529
Yo, yo.

1557
01:26:01,562 --> 01:26:04,732
- Yo.
- Oh, sweet. Beers.

1558
01:26:05,332 --> 01:26:07,535
- Yeah, I got you.
- Perfect.

1559
01:26:10,872 --> 01:26:14,142
A little, uh,
memory lane action?
What brings these out?

1560
01:26:14,174 --> 01:26:16,811
I, uh, went
to the old apartment
in town today.

1561
01:26:16,844 --> 01:26:20,581
Ah. Got me feeling
a little nostalgic, I guess.

1562
01:26:20,615 --> 01:26:22,416
Well, how very
Homecoming of you.

1563
01:26:22,449 --> 01:26:24,418
Mm.

1564
01:26:24,451 --> 01:26:27,789
So as someone
who has done it
all over again,

1565
01:26:27,822 --> 01:26:28,856
how's it going?

1566
01:26:30,024 --> 01:26:32,492
Mm. I don't know.
Kind of the same.

1567
01:26:32,527 --> 01:26:34,529
I guess I just have
a lot of, uh,

1568
01:26:35,328 --> 01:26:38,032
you know, questions
and no answers.

1569
01:26:38,633 --> 01:26:40,668
You wanna know what I learned
this time around?

1570
01:26:40,702 --> 01:26:41,903
Mm. What?

1571
01:26:42,502 --> 01:26:45,807
Pride is a double-edged sword.

1572
01:26:45,840 --> 01:26:48,743
Right? You're always
on my case about
that foolish pride of mine.

1573
01:26:48,776 --> 01:26:52,647
Well, Miss Nostalgia,
let's talk about pride, pride.

1574
01:26:53,114 --> 01:26:55,116
Remember that first parade
we went to?

1575
01:26:55,149 --> 01:26:58,920
Oh, that weekend.
I think we murdered
a few good brain cells.

1576
01:26:58,953 --> 01:27:01,622
Oh, yeah. That's what pride's
all about. Right?

1577
01:27:01,656 --> 01:27:03,791
It's about celebrating
your authentic self

1578
01:27:03,825 --> 01:27:06,127
and twinks in Speedos
and the rainbow floats

1579
01:27:06,160 --> 01:27:07,729
and dikes on bikes.

1580
01:27:07,762 --> 01:27:09,530
And that's fun to do,
like, one weekend a year,

1581
01:27:09,564 --> 01:27:12,033
but then there are those queens
who do it all the time.

1582
01:27:12,834 --> 01:27:16,336
It's not about
the celebration anymore.
It's about chasing the high

1583
01:27:16,369 --> 01:27:19,173
and they forget what pride
was for in the first place.

1584
01:27:19,207 --> 01:27:20,575
And the next thing
you know, you're 52,

1585
01:27:20,608 --> 01:27:22,577
you got skin of leather,
you're addicted to meth,

1586
01:27:22,610 --> 01:27:25,445
you're sitting at a bus stop
with your jock strap
all hanging out

1587
01:27:25,479 --> 01:27:27,115
and you're talking
to some imaginary friend.

1588
01:27:27,148 --> 01:27:28,750
I'm sorry, is this story
going somewhere?

1589
01:27:28,783 --> 01:27:30,017
Yeah. Just...

1590
01:27:30,651 --> 01:27:32,854
Don't be the old queen, Molly.

1591
01:27:35,523 --> 01:27:38,325
Just don't lose sight
of the road ahead.

1592
01:27:39,160 --> 01:27:42,295
Mm.

1593
01:27:42,830 --> 01:27:44,899
Speaking of which,
what's up with the kid?

1594
01:27:44,932 --> 01:27:46,299
What do you mean?

1595
01:27:47,467 --> 01:27:49,704
The longer this thing goes on,

1596
01:27:49,737 --> 01:27:51,438
the worse it's gonna be
when he finds out.

1597
01:27:51,471 --> 01:27:52,974
I was kind of just hoping
I could disappear

1598
01:27:53,007 --> 01:27:55,910
and not mention the whole
Brenda hiring me thing.

1599
01:27:58,579 --> 01:28:02,550
Should I just give you
the meth dealer's
number now, or...

1600
01:28:05,119 --> 01:28:07,320
Hey, I love you, kid.

1601
01:28:08,156 --> 01:28:09,456
I do.

1602
01:28:10,091 --> 01:28:11,726
Love you.

1603
01:28:13,326 --> 01:28:15,530
I will see you
in a few hours.

1604
01:28:16,329 --> 01:28:19,299
I'm gonna go to bed
with this guy.

1605
01:28:19,332 --> 01:28:20,902
Mm. Nice guy.

1606
01:28:20,935 --> 01:28:22,870
Good night.

1607
01:28:48,029 --> 01:28:50,064
Five, six, seven, eight.

1608
01:28:50,097 --> 01:28:51,766
One, two, three, four.

1609
01:28:51,799 --> 01:28:53,935
- Go Condors! Go!
- Go!

1610
01:28:55,002 --> 01:28:55,970
Five.

1611
01:28:56,804 --> 01:28:57,772
Win!

1612
01:28:58,338 --> 01:28:59,807
Go, five, win!

1613
01:28:59,841 --> 01:29:01,976
Yes!

1614
01:29:02,009 --> 01:29:03,443
Nice! Great work, guys.

1615
01:29:03,476 --> 01:29:04,946
Heather, way to stick
that landing.

1616
01:29:04,979 --> 01:29:07,181
Sully, I need you sliding in
a little sooner, okay?

1617
01:29:07,215 --> 01:29:10,417
Guys, get some rest.
The bus leaves
at 10 a.m. tomorrow.

1618
01:29:10,450 --> 01:29:13,020
Awesome job! Great job.

1619
01:29:14,121 --> 01:29:16,858
- Jeff, do not be late.
- Bye, guys.

1620
01:29:24,031 --> 01:29:26,499
Hey, guys,
a little help with the, uh...

1621
01:29:28,102 --> 01:29:30,972
Okay. Fuck me, I guess, right?

1622
01:29:31,973 --> 01:29:32,940
Goddammit.

1623
01:29:36,443 --> 01:29:38,546
Goddammit!

1624
01:29:46,486 --> 01:29:47,855
Hello?

1625
01:29:53,194 --> 01:29:54,629
What the fuck?

1626
01:29:56,697 --> 01:29:59,000
What's with the masks, guys?

1627
01:30:03,237 --> 01:30:04,437
Oh, fuck.

1628
01:30:07,942 --> 01:30:09,210
Whoo!

1629
01:30:09,677 --> 01:30:11,913
Whoa!

1630
01:30:13,514 --> 01:30:15,583
Oh.

1631
01:30:15,616 --> 01:30:17,417
Try that shit
on me, bitch.

1632
01:30:20,821 --> 01:30:22,990
What the fuck was that?

1633
01:30:23,024 --> 01:30:26,727
Thought these wings
were just for show, huh? Whoo!

1634
01:30:27,595 --> 01:30:29,496
Oh, shit.

1635
01:30:29,530 --> 01:30:31,799
Ow! Ow.

1636
01:30:35,169 --> 01:30:36,203
Oh, my God.

1637
01:30:37,204 --> 01:30:39,740
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

1638
01:30:39,774 --> 01:30:41,142
What the fuck did you do?

1639
01:30:42,475 --> 01:30:45,379
Grab him!
Get him. Come on!

1640
01:30:45,413 --> 01:30:47,515
Just grab him! Get him!

1641
01:30:47,548 --> 01:30:49,583
Get him, get him, get him!
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

1642
01:30:49,617 --> 01:30:51,585
Ow!

1643
01:30:58,259 --> 01:31:00,493
Fuck. Did we kill him?

1644
01:31:00,528 --> 01:31:02,763
What do you
mean "we"? You.

1645
01:31:02,797 --> 01:31:04,966
Where the fuck did you get
a golf club anyway?

1646
01:31:05,700 --> 01:31:07,034
It was in the back of the car.

1647
01:31:10,404 --> 01:31:14,608
Alright,
you guys grab his legs,
I got his beak. Let's go.

1648
01:32:07,795 --> 01:32:09,096
I got the arm.

1649
01:32:10,064 --> 01:32:12,166
- Chaz, get a hold of him.
- I got him. I got him.

1650
01:32:12,199 --> 01:32:15,536
You better pray
this fucking asshat
wakes up. Come on!

1651
01:32:15,569 --> 01:32:17,705
- You guys go first. Let's go.
- Alright.

1652
01:32:22,676 --> 01:32:24,879
He smells like death.

1653
01:32:24,912 --> 01:32:26,981
Yeah, well, look
where I'm standing.

1654
01:32:35,756 --> 01:32:37,892
Oh, you've got it bad, huh?

1655
01:32:38,626 --> 01:32:41,762
- She's pretty amazing, huh?
- Yeah.

1656
01:32:42,596 --> 01:32:46,300
Listen, um, I wanted
to tell you something

1657
01:32:46,333 --> 01:32:48,069
- for a while.
- What?

1658
01:32:48,769 --> 01:32:51,205
Uh, I just wanted
to say thank you.

1659
01:32:51,906 --> 01:32:54,008
Meeting you and Paulie
has been...

1660
01:32:55,544 --> 01:32:57,311
the best thing that's
ever happened to me.

1661
01:32:58,479 --> 01:33:00,581
- It means the world. Thank you.
- Mm.

1662
01:33:02,283 --> 01:33:03,884
Yeah, you know, um...

1663
01:33:05,052 --> 01:33:06,620
Elliot, I, uh...

1664
01:33:09,256 --> 01:33:10,791
I just-- I think you're...

1665
01:33:11,492 --> 01:33:12,893
You're a good egg.

1666
01:33:14,028 --> 01:33:15,229
One of the best.

1667
01:33:17,832 --> 01:33:20,501
Why don't you get out there?
She's waiting on you.

1668
01:33:20,535 --> 01:33:24,004
- Alright.
- Yeah, get to dancing.

1669
01:33:33,814 --> 01:33:36,050
See you flip out of that,
bird bitch.

1670
01:33:41,689 --> 01:33:44,992
Look, I don't know
what you want.

1671
01:33:46,160 --> 01:33:49,797
If this is for ransom,
my parents aren't rich.

1672
01:33:51,098 --> 01:33:54,335
If-- if this is for some
furry fetish thing,

1673
01:33:55,102 --> 01:33:58,205
at least give me some drugs
so I don't remember.

1674
01:34:01,775 --> 01:34:03,377
- What is this?
- Do your job, Stu--

1675
01:34:03,410 --> 01:34:04,812
Elliot.

1676
01:34:06,013 --> 01:34:08,449
"Oh, man, I can't believe
we got away with this,
Molly Singer."

1677
01:34:08,482 --> 01:34:10,585
"I know it, Elliot Steiner."

1678
01:34:11,285 --> 01:34:13,387
Why are you using
your full names?

1679
01:34:14,188 --> 01:34:16,857
We're Scientologist. Okay.
Like I said, "Elliott Steiner.

1680
01:34:16,891 --> 01:34:19,360
This will totally show
those Hill--"

1681
01:34:19,393 --> 01:34:21,996
"...Hell-hurst assholes

1682
01:34:22,029 --> 01:34:25,499
that you and your Ki Mu brothers
rule campus."

1683
01:34:25,534 --> 01:34:27,602
- Go Badgers!
- Go Badgers!

1684
01:34:28,269 --> 01:34:31,472
Wait, this--
this is a Homecoming prank?

1685
01:34:31,505 --> 01:34:34,643
What is this? 1969?

1686
01:34:34,675 --> 01:34:39,480
I'm gonna sue
the shit out of you,
uh, Elliot Steiner, and, and--

1687
01:34:39,514 --> 01:34:42,617
- What-- what's your name?
- Molly Singer. Molly Singer.

1688
01:34:42,651 --> 01:34:44,485
- Her name's Molly Singer.
- Molly Singer.

1689
01:34:44,519 --> 01:34:47,988
- Molly Singer! Fuck off!
- You have a good day, sir.

1690
01:34:48,022 --> 01:34:50,257
I'm gonna
fucking kill you!

1691
01:34:51,292 --> 01:34:53,027
You're both so screwed!

1692
01:35:03,337 --> 01:35:06,207
- Hey, hey, hey, Stu!
- Go, go, go! Go, come on!

1693
01:35:14,248 --> 01:35:17,318
Guys, I think Paulie
was line dancing when we left.

1694
01:35:20,487 --> 01:35:21,488
Hello?

1695
01:35:22,624 --> 01:35:24,158
Wait. Where are you?

1696
01:35:24,825 --> 01:35:27,194
Okay, uh, no, it-- it's fine.
I'll be right there.

1697
01:35:28,162 --> 01:35:30,632
I gotta go. My roommate
got locked out again

1698
01:35:30,665 --> 01:35:33,867
and the RAs refused
to let her in because
she keeps losing her key.

1699
01:35:33,901 --> 01:35:36,003
- Do you want me to go with you?
- No, it's fine.

1700
01:35:36,036 --> 01:35:37,871
I'm gonna crash
for a couple hours anyways,

1701
01:35:37,905 --> 01:35:40,140
but we should walk over
to the game together.

1702
01:35:40,174 --> 01:35:41,442
Sounds good to me.

1703
01:35:41,942 --> 01:35:43,477
- I had a really good time.
- Me too.

1704
01:35:45,813 --> 01:35:48,282
- See you, Mol.
- Later, Linds.

1705
01:35:49,416 --> 01:35:50,851
Whoo-hoo-hoo.

1706
01:35:52,086 --> 01:35:54,922
Steiner, smooth
looks good on you.

1707
01:35:55,389 --> 01:35:57,891
What the fuck?

1708
01:35:58,560 --> 01:35:59,960
Hello?

1709
01:35:59,994 --> 01:36:01,061
Uh...

1710
01:36:01,630 --> 01:36:02,896
Hello?

1711
01:36:02,930 --> 01:36:05,399
Get me
the fuck out of here!

1712
01:36:05,432 --> 01:36:07,768
Right here,
I'm right here.

1713
01:36:07,801 --> 01:36:09,537
What's that smell?

1714
01:36:09,571 --> 01:36:11,171
It's me, okay, asshole!

1715
01:36:11,205 --> 01:36:14,609
I had four Gatorades
and I've been locked
in this suit all night.

1716
01:36:24,753 --> 01:36:28,155
Well, I'm just gonna grab
that head, okay?

1717
01:36:28,188 --> 01:36:30,057
- Coming in.
- Yup. Easy.

1718
01:36:30,090 --> 01:36:32,126
Easy. Easy with--

1719
01:36:32,159 --> 01:36:34,562
- My ear!
- Sorry!

1720
01:36:36,765 --> 01:36:39,133
I'm gonna sue you!

1721
01:36:39,734 --> 01:36:44,138
And you too.
Are you fucking insane?
We're not even good at sports!

1722
01:36:44,706 --> 01:36:47,308
- My-- my dad's brother.
- Your uncle?

1723
01:36:47,341 --> 01:36:51,145
Yes. My uncle.
He's a fucking lawyer.

1724
01:36:51,178 --> 01:36:52,179
Hmm.

1725
01:36:52,212 --> 01:36:54,716
He's gonna eat your assholes
for breakfast.

1726
01:36:56,685 --> 01:36:57,818
- Okay.
- All up in there.

1727
01:36:57,851 --> 01:36:59,987
I think we should, uh,
get you out of here.

1728
01:37:00,020 --> 01:37:01,989
- I'm just gonna, uh... Okay.
- Analingus.

1729
01:37:02,022 --> 01:37:03,558
Undo you.

1730
01:37:03,591 --> 01:37:05,926
- What the...
- What is going on here?

1731
01:37:05,959 --> 01:37:08,062
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
Freeze, freeze, freeze!

1732
01:37:08,962 --> 01:37:10,831
- Elliot Steiner.
- Me?

1733
01:37:10,864 --> 01:37:12,634
- Molly Singer?
- Yes?

1734
01:37:12,667 --> 01:37:15,537
That's Molly Singer.
That's the psychopath
that kidnapped me.

1735
01:37:15,570 --> 01:37:16,937
Wait, what?

1736
01:37:18,540 --> 01:37:19,907
Who's Molly Singer?

1737
01:37:31,018 --> 01:37:33,153
Are you ever gonna
talk to me again?

1738
01:37:37,826 --> 01:37:41,328
Okay, fair enough.
I deserve that.

1739
01:37:45,499 --> 01:37:47,635
You gonna eat that sandwich
they give you?

1740
01:37:47,669 --> 01:37:49,103
I didn't get a sandwich.

1741
01:37:49,838 --> 01:37:51,639
Oh, you will. You will.

1742
01:37:51,673 --> 01:37:54,609
- And when you do...
- Yeah, yeah, it's all yours.

1743
01:37:54,642 --> 01:37:56,511
Fuck, yeah!
You're my guy.

1744
01:37:58,212 --> 01:38:00,214
You meet the nicest
people in jail.

1745
01:38:00,247 --> 01:38:03,384
Ooh, yeah. Oh, oh...

1746
01:38:04,918 --> 01:38:06,855
Were you ever gonna tell me

1747
01:38:06,887 --> 01:38:08,389
that you're working
for my mom?

1748
01:38:10,692 --> 01:38:13,494
Honestly, I...
I don't know. I had no...

1749
01:38:14,796 --> 01:38:16,497
No exit strategy.

1750
01:38:17,766 --> 01:38:23,203
I just thought I'd--
I'd meet you,
pump a few beers in you and--

1751
01:38:23,237 --> 01:38:26,340
Beers? Hey, now we're talking.

1752
01:38:26,373 --> 01:38:27,908
- Oh, I-- I'm just gonna...
- You like beer?

1753
01:38:27,941 --> 01:38:31,044
I had an IPA the other day
called a Crunchy Rooster.

1754
01:38:34,582 --> 01:38:39,086
My entire blueprint
for this whole plan
was like weird science,

1755
01:38:39,119 --> 01:38:41,455
for Christ's sake,
but I didn't...

1756
01:38:42,022 --> 01:38:43,625
But?

1757
01:38:43,658 --> 01:38:44,726
But...

1758
01:38:45,392 --> 01:38:47,127
I didn't realize
how much I'd like you

1759
01:38:47,161 --> 01:38:49,096
and-- and what great friends
we'd be, you know?

1760
01:38:49,129 --> 01:38:51,465
Friends? Friends.

1761
01:38:51,498 --> 01:38:53,568
- Yeah.
- Okay.

1762
01:38:53,601 --> 01:38:56,771
Steiner, Elliot M.

1763
01:38:56,805 --> 01:38:58,338
- Oh.
- That's me.

1764
01:38:58,840 --> 01:39:00,675
You made bail.
Let's go.

1765
01:39:00,708 --> 01:39:02,677
Hey, that's great, right?

1766
01:39:04,178 --> 01:39:07,347
You know, I thought
we'd be friends too.

1767
01:39:09,283 --> 01:39:13,987
Steiner, come on--
Okay, I guess
I didn't make bail.

1768
01:39:14,021 --> 01:39:16,056
You can't make bail
till Monday.

1769
01:39:16,089 --> 01:39:18,593
You're a lawyer.
You should know that.

1770
01:39:20,093 --> 01:39:21,328
What about him?

1771
01:39:21,361 --> 01:39:23,565
Looks like he had
a better lawyer than you.

1772
01:39:28,202 --> 01:39:31,038
Oh, thank God. Finally.
Are you okay?

1773
01:39:31,972 --> 01:39:34,576
Hey, Elliot,
where are you going?

1774
01:39:34,609 --> 01:39:37,110
Goddammit. This is not
a walk away scenario.

1775
01:39:37,144 --> 01:39:39,046
Stop it! I don't have
the shoes to chase you.

1776
01:39:39,079 --> 01:39:40,981
What do you want from me?

1777
01:39:41,014 --> 01:39:42,983
No. Uh-uh.

1778
01:39:43,016 --> 01:39:45,419
You do not get to have
an attitude with me.

1779
01:39:45,452 --> 01:39:48,322
I am not the one
that went out and got drunk
at five in the morning

1780
01:39:48,355 --> 01:39:50,625
and then went and kidnapped
a goddamn eagle.

1781
01:39:50,658 --> 01:39:51,793
It was a condor.

1782
01:39:51,826 --> 01:39:53,795
Who the fuck cares
what it was?!

1783
01:39:53,828 --> 01:39:57,331
You literally hired
some chick from your office
to infiltrate my school,

1784
01:39:57,364 --> 01:40:00,300
pretend to be my best friend
and spy on me.

1785
01:40:02,135 --> 01:40:03,738
That is an excellent point.

1786
01:40:04,973 --> 01:40:06,541
- Jesus Christ.
- But--

1787
01:40:06,574 --> 01:40:07,709
Where are you going?

1788
01:40:07,742 --> 01:40:08,810
To my dorm room.

1789
01:40:08,843 --> 01:40:10,410
That is until they expel me.

1790
01:40:14,549 --> 01:40:15,583
Damn it.

1791
01:40:22,590 --> 01:40:23,625
What do you think?

1792
01:40:24,291 --> 01:40:27,060
Too veiny or not veiny enough?

1793
01:40:27,094 --> 01:40:29,597
I mean, some people
like a veiny ding-dong.

1794
01:40:30,464 --> 01:40:34,636
Alright, Dick-casso.
I'm gonna need you,
like, five feet over there.

1795
01:40:52,520 --> 01:40:55,255
Alright, Singer,
you just made bail.

1796
01:40:57,725 --> 01:40:59,226
Thank you for bailing me out.

1797
01:40:59,259 --> 01:41:01,428
Oh, thank your platinum card.
So now what?

1798
01:41:01,461 --> 01:41:03,965
Well, I have to get dressed
for court this morning

1799
01:41:03,998 --> 01:41:05,399
to defend myself
in a kidnapping charge

1800
01:41:05,432 --> 01:41:08,402
and I need you
to help figure out
who the hell set us up.

1801
01:41:08,435 --> 01:41:09,904
Hmm. That's a tough one, Singer.

1802
01:41:09,938 --> 01:41:12,607
Whose cornflakes have we been
squatting into all semester?

1803
01:41:14,542 --> 01:41:16,343
Fucking Stu.

1804
01:41:16,811 --> 01:41:18,846
- There she is.
- Huh.

1805
01:41:32,827 --> 01:41:35,362
Hi. Hello. Hi.

1806
01:41:40,802 --> 01:41:43,538
- I'm gonna fucking kill you.
- Yeah, we didn't do anything.

1807
01:41:43,571 --> 01:41:45,339
Oh, you think
I don't know that?

1808
01:41:46,173 --> 01:41:48,408
Doesn't matter.
You can't prove any of it.

1809
01:41:49,109 --> 01:41:51,012
You got my son
in this frigging mess.

1810
01:41:51,045 --> 01:41:53,681
Yeah, I know.
I'm gonna just...

1811
01:41:53,715 --> 01:41:55,315
All rise.

1812
01:41:56,116 --> 01:41:59,219
The Honorable
Raymond Palmer presiding.

1813
01:42:02,790 --> 01:42:03,825
Be seated.

1814
01:42:04,959 --> 01:42:06,393
Look at this good-looking group.

1815
01:42:06,426 --> 01:42:09,097
Alright. What do we have
this morning?

1816
01:42:10,064 --> 01:42:14,201
Mr. Elliott Steiner
and Miss Molly Singer,
are you present today?

1817
01:42:15,069 --> 01:42:16,938
- Yes, Your Honor.
- Yes, Your Honor.

1818
01:42:16,971 --> 01:42:18,405
Good start. Okay.

1819
01:42:18,438 --> 01:42:20,173
You two are accused
of kidnapping

1820
01:42:20,207 --> 01:42:22,442
one Mr. Sully Moran,
a human being,

1821
01:42:22,476 --> 01:42:26,380
and it says here,
the Fighting Condor mascot

1822
01:42:26,413 --> 01:42:30,885
from Hillhurst University.
Are you kidding me?

1823
01:42:32,987 --> 01:42:33,955
Mike.

1824
01:42:34,522 --> 01:42:36,490
- Yes, Judge.
- Yeah. Can we call
the law clerk,

1825
01:42:36,524 --> 01:42:38,225
make sure these
are not the type of cases

1826
01:42:38,258 --> 01:42:40,227
- we start a Monday with?
- Okay.

1827
01:42:40,260 --> 01:42:41,963
Yeah. It really feels like, uh,

1828
01:42:41,996 --> 01:42:45,232
mascot kidnapping
is a Tuesday afternoon
sort of case.

1829
01:42:45,265 --> 01:42:47,035
- Okay.
- Great.

1830
01:42:47,068 --> 01:42:49,003
How do you two plead?

1831
01:42:49,037 --> 01:42:51,572
Your Honor, may I make
a brief statement?

1832
01:42:51,606 --> 01:42:56,243
For the sake of throwing
all points of law
out the window? No.

1833
01:42:56,276 --> 01:42:58,211
- What are you doing?
- Ooh, here she comes.

1834
01:42:58,245 --> 01:43:03,316
Your Honor, I realize
this is just a plea hearing,
but I plead with you.

1835
01:43:04,018 --> 01:43:05,887
Please listen to me
for a moment.

1836
01:43:06,587 --> 01:43:09,289
Though I can categorically deny
any involvement

1837
01:43:09,322 --> 01:43:12,794
in the kidnapping
of a stuffed condor,
I implore you,

1838
01:43:13,460 --> 01:43:16,463
Mr. Steiner had absolutely
nothing to do with it.

1839
01:43:16,496 --> 01:43:20,768
Any punishment should be
directed solely on myself
as I was acting as his guardian,

1840
01:43:20,802 --> 01:43:24,237
and any actions taken by him
would have been done
under my direction.

1841
01:43:24,271 --> 01:43:28,076
So I moved that all charges
be dropped for Mr. Steiner
and directed to me.

1842
01:43:28,109 --> 01:43:29,276
Myself.

1843
01:43:29,911 --> 01:43:30,878
I.

1844
01:43:32,046 --> 01:43:34,749
Wow, Mike.

1845
01:43:34,782 --> 01:43:38,753
Ay-ay-ay, Miss Singer,
that was certainly
a gallant gesture on your part.

1846
01:43:38,786 --> 01:43:39,854
Thank you, Your Honor.

1847
01:43:39,887 --> 01:43:41,421
And absolutely devoid

1848
01:43:41,455 --> 01:43:43,758
of literally any semblance
of legal merit.

1849
01:43:43,791 --> 01:43:45,626
So... I'm sorry,

1850
01:43:45,660 --> 01:43:47,895
do we have something to add
from the gallery?

1851
01:43:48,696 --> 01:43:52,533
Uh, no, I'm sorry, Your Judge,
or, I mean, Your Honor.

1852
01:43:52,567 --> 01:43:53,400
I'm sorry.

1853
01:43:54,168 --> 01:43:57,538
Great. That being said,
Mr. Steiner, how do you plead?

1854
01:43:59,040 --> 01:44:00,474
Not guilty, Your Honor.

1855
01:44:00,508 --> 01:44:02,275
Ms. Singer?

1856
01:44:02,309 --> 01:44:03,644
- Not guilty.
- Great.

1857
01:44:03,678 --> 01:44:07,414
Mr. Steiner, I see that
you have counsel present.

1858
01:44:07,447 --> 01:44:09,382
Um, Miss Singer,
where's your counsel?

1859
01:44:09,416 --> 01:44:11,719
I will be representing
myself, Your Honor.

1860
01:44:11,753 --> 01:44:15,823
Ms. Steiner, would you be
interested in a two-for-one?

1861
01:44:15,857 --> 01:44:18,192
Oh, no, no, I'm not.

1862
01:44:18,226 --> 01:44:19,627
Great. Then may I suggest

1863
01:44:19,660 --> 01:44:21,696
you take your shoe
and toss it out in the hallway?

1864
01:44:21,729 --> 01:44:23,798
And maybe you can clock
another lawyer

1865
01:44:23,831 --> 01:44:25,265
that can help you
with your case.

1866
01:44:25,298 --> 01:44:27,434
We're gonna take an hour recess
and press on.

1867
01:44:28,502 --> 01:44:30,270
All rise.

1868
01:44:37,879 --> 01:44:40,748
I know he's not
at the Ki Mu house
because the asshole is here

1869
01:44:40,782 --> 01:44:42,083
and he's with Poles.

1870
01:44:42,116 --> 01:44:44,384
Yes. I'm telling you,
these two are in it together.

1871
01:44:44,417 --> 01:44:46,721
Oh, my God. She's walking
up to me. Right now
would be a really good time

1872
01:44:46,754 --> 01:44:48,790
to find something,
Paulie. Gotta go.

1873
01:44:48,823 --> 01:44:52,059
Uh, Poles, what the hell
are you doing here?

1874
01:44:52,093 --> 01:44:54,095
- I have a case downstairs.
- Oh.

1875
01:44:54,128 --> 01:44:56,864
Mm. But I heard
about this and...

1876
01:44:57,665 --> 01:45:00,168
- Well, I had to see for myself.
- Yeah.

1877
01:45:00,201 --> 01:45:02,637
- And--
- And Stu, how did you two meet?

1878
01:45:02,670 --> 01:45:06,274
At a hate group convention
or is he just one
of your hand job pals?

1879
01:45:06,306 --> 01:45:08,308
Hand job pals.

1880
01:45:09,143 --> 01:45:12,580
Oh, I guess you couldn't
even be bothered
to even remember my maiden name.

1881
01:45:12,613 --> 01:45:16,017
Even though we were
in the same pledge class.
I'll wait.

1882
01:45:17,919 --> 01:45:18,886
Gable?

1883
01:45:19,854 --> 01:45:22,990
And when I found out
you were making
my little brother's life

1884
01:45:23,024 --> 01:45:25,760
- as miserable
as you made mine...
- Hmm.

1885
01:45:26,493 --> 01:45:27,929
I knew I had to stop you.

1886
01:45:27,962 --> 01:45:31,999
So I'm gonna be there
when they march you into prison.

1887
01:45:33,768 --> 01:45:35,837
How do you like
those hand jobs?

1888
01:45:36,537 --> 01:45:38,773
It was worth the carpal tunnel.

1889
01:45:44,078 --> 01:45:46,814
Oh, come on, Paulie.

1890
01:45:51,786 --> 01:45:53,621
Oh, God. Okay.

1891
01:45:55,488 --> 01:45:59,760
Think, Paulie.
There's gotta be something.

1892
01:45:59,794 --> 01:46:01,629
If somebody else died here,
I'm so screwed.

1893
01:46:01,662 --> 01:46:03,798
- Relax, no one's dead. Okay?
- Cool.

1894
01:46:03,831 --> 01:46:06,667
Some prick kidnapped
the Hillhurst mascot
and is trying to frame Molly

1895
01:46:06,701 --> 01:46:08,368
and that Steiner kid
we've been hanging out with.

1896
01:46:08,401 --> 01:46:10,538
Ugh. Classic college bully move.

1897
01:46:10,571 --> 01:46:12,439
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
So I need something,

1898
01:46:12,472 --> 01:46:14,175
anything to keep my best friend
out of jail.

1899
01:46:14,208 --> 01:46:16,344
Oh, uh... Ugh.

1900
01:46:16,376 --> 01:46:18,378
Should I tell him?
Should I...

1901
01:46:18,411 --> 01:46:22,216
If, if I show you something,

1902
01:46:22,250 --> 01:46:24,986
you promise to keep it
top secret? Shh!

1903
01:46:25,686 --> 01:46:27,922
- Maybe.
- Walk this way.

1904
01:46:29,223 --> 01:46:30,390
Okay.

1905
01:46:31,826 --> 01:46:33,294
Where are you taking me?
I don't have time for this.

1906
01:46:33,327 --> 01:46:34,595
I need to find some evidence
that will...

1907
01:46:34,629 --> 01:46:36,797
- Trust me. It's worth it.
- ...break the case.

1908
01:46:36,831 --> 01:46:39,967
- Okay. But what are
we doing here?
- If I told you...

1909
01:46:45,773 --> 01:46:48,142
- I'm waiting.
- I'm waiting too.

1910
01:46:48,175 --> 01:46:49,777
Oh, come on.

1911
01:46:49,810 --> 01:46:50,845
Voila.

1912
01:46:52,346 --> 01:46:53,881
What the actual fuck?

1913
01:47:01,522 --> 01:47:03,090
What am I looking
at here, Scott?

1914
01:47:03,791 --> 01:47:07,828
Okay, okay. Before you think
that I'm a total creepy perv,

1915
01:47:07,862 --> 01:47:10,865
it's just a mustache
and some cameras.

1916
01:47:11,464 --> 01:47:14,869
So after the pole incident,
I got really paranoid.

1917
01:47:15,303 --> 01:47:17,004
So it started off
with one camera

1918
01:47:17,038 --> 01:47:21,609
and now we're looking at, uh,
six of these big boys.

1919
01:47:22,710 --> 01:47:26,580
You sick <i>Sliver</i> watching
motherfucker!

1920
01:47:26,614 --> 01:47:28,316
Please tell me
these things record.

1921
01:47:28,349 --> 01:47:30,184
- Fuck, yeah, they do.
- Sweet!

1922
01:47:30,217 --> 01:47:32,920
Again, not a perv.
Just paranoid.

1923
01:47:32,954 --> 01:47:34,487
- Most of the time.
- Okay.

1924
01:47:34,522 --> 01:47:36,489
I occasionally come in here
and whack it.

1925
01:47:37,058 --> 01:47:38,592
Not often though.

1926
01:47:41,395 --> 01:47:42,663
Can I sit?

1927
01:47:43,898 --> 01:47:44,932
Yeah, go ahead.

1928
01:47:47,268 --> 01:47:49,103
Alright.

1929
01:48:00,614 --> 01:48:02,016
So, how's Lindsay?

1930
01:48:03,184 --> 01:48:05,720
- She's good.
- Good.

1931
01:48:15,096 --> 01:48:19,467
You know, no matter how much
I-- I do wanna hate you,

1932
01:48:20,334 --> 01:48:27,208
I do realize that I would
have never had the courage
to talk to her again.

1933
01:48:27,875 --> 01:48:31,078
Really, the courage
to do anything.

1934
01:48:31,979 --> 01:48:35,950
So whether you were paid
or not to do it, thank you.

1935
01:48:38,753 --> 01:48:42,023
Well, I think I should be
the one thanking you

1936
01:48:42,890 --> 01:48:44,759
'cause without you,
I never would have realized

1937
01:48:44,792 --> 01:48:48,229
that my best years
are yet to come.

1938
01:48:49,196 --> 01:48:50,731
Not just in my rearview.

1939
01:48:52,500 --> 01:48:54,602
But I'm really sorry
I didn't say anything.

1940
01:48:56,837 --> 01:48:58,439
We're gonna go
to fucking jail, aren't we?

1941
01:49:00,341 --> 01:49:03,911
No. No, we are not,
not going to jail.

1942
01:49:04,612 --> 01:49:06,480
Got my best guy on it.

1943
01:49:06,515 --> 01:49:08,315
Molly Singer!

1944
01:49:08,783 --> 01:49:10,651
I swear to God, I didn't know
that was gonna happen.

1945
01:49:10,684 --> 01:49:13,721
Singer! Molly!

1946
01:49:13,754 --> 01:49:16,190
- Paulie?
- Got it!

1947
01:49:19,260 --> 01:49:21,128
- Hmm. I guess
you got something.

1948
01:49:21,162 --> 01:49:24,131
- Yeah.
- Some information
we need or something?

1949
01:49:24,165 --> 01:49:25,699
Are you okay?

1950
01:49:25,733 --> 01:49:28,537
Not okay.

1951
01:49:28,569 --> 01:49:30,371
And wheezing a lot.

1952
01:49:30,404 --> 01:49:35,810
Uh...

1953
01:49:36,744 --> 01:49:39,313
Alright, so what am I
looking at here?

1954
01:49:39,346 --> 01:49:44,218
Your Honor, new evidence
has come to light that clears
my client and Miss Singer.

1955
01:49:44,251 --> 01:49:45,520
You didn't think
to lead with it?

1956
01:49:46,020 --> 01:49:49,790
Well, it just became
available to us
a few minutes ago, Your Honor.

1957
01:49:51,258 --> 01:49:52,193
Good.

1958
01:49:53,794 --> 01:49:56,664
<i>"Oh, man,</i>
<i>I can't believe we got away</i>
<i>with this, Molly Singer."</i>

1959
01:49:56,697 --> 01:49:58,933
<i>"I know it, Elliot Steiner."</i>

1960
01:49:58,966 --> 01:50:00,668
<i>Why are you using</i>
<i>your full names?</i>

1961
01:50:00,701 --> 01:50:03,237
Is that the jackhole
that was laughing
in my courtroom this morning?

1962
01:50:03,270 --> 01:50:04,972
- <i>Elliot Steiner...</i>
- Stuart Gable.

1963
01:50:05,005 --> 01:50:06,907
He's a fraternity brother
of Mr. Steiner's

1964
01:50:06,941 --> 01:50:08,909
and was trying to get him
kicked out of school.

1965
01:50:08,943 --> 01:50:11,645
<i>"...that you and your Ki Mu</i>
<i>brothers rule campus."</i>

1966
01:50:11,679 --> 01:50:14,081
And-- and who's this
Meryl Streep over here?

1967
01:50:14,115 --> 01:50:16,183
- <i>Go Badgers!</i>
- Trina Delgado.

1968
01:50:16,217 --> 01:50:19,253
She's trying a case
downstairs as we speak.

1969
01:50:19,286 --> 01:50:21,188
Uh, she's a lawyer as well?

1970
01:50:21,222 --> 01:50:22,490
Yes, Your Honor.

1971
01:50:23,124 --> 01:50:25,594
You know, what is going on
with law school?

1972
01:50:25,626 --> 01:50:27,428
Are they just letting
anybody in these days?

1973
01:50:27,461 --> 01:50:29,163
Is it the new math? Is that it?

1974
01:50:29,196 --> 01:50:32,199
Participation law degrees?
You know what?

1975
01:50:32,233 --> 01:50:35,903
Just save it,
don't wanna hear it.
Case dismissed. Mike!

1976
01:50:37,638 --> 01:50:38,806
Yes, Judge.

1977
01:50:38,839 --> 01:50:41,175
I need you to round up
some more idiots.

1978
01:50:41,909 --> 01:50:42,877
Okay.

1979
01:50:45,379 --> 01:50:46,814
Thank you, sir.

1980
01:50:46,847 --> 01:50:49,183
You, sir, have no idea
what you're doing!

1981
01:50:49,216 --> 01:50:51,018
I will have all of your jobs,
do you hear me?!

1982
01:50:51,051 --> 01:50:53,854
- Do you know who I am?
- Fine. Just call Dad, alright?

1983
01:50:53,888 --> 01:50:57,057
- Just call Dad!
- What about this clit, Molly!?

1984
01:50:57,091 --> 01:50:59,426
- Just call Dad...
- Hey, Poles,

1985
01:50:59,460 --> 01:51:01,162
how you like them hand jobs?

1986
01:51:01,195 --> 01:51:04,098
I hope someone rollerblades
over your vagina, Molly!

1987
01:51:04,131 --> 01:51:05,332
- What?
- What?

1988
01:51:06,066 --> 01:51:08,736
It's an interesting crowd
you two hang out with.

1989
01:51:08,769 --> 01:51:10,037
Yeah.

1990
01:51:10,738 --> 01:51:12,173
Uh...

1991
01:51:13,207 --> 01:51:14,241
Not bad.

1992
01:51:17,878 --> 01:51:19,680
I guess I'll see you around.

1993
01:51:19,713 --> 01:51:21,682
Yeah. See you later, Steiner.

1994
01:51:21,715 --> 01:51:23,017
- Bye.
- Bye.

1995
01:51:26,921 --> 01:51:28,923
Oh. There you are.

1996
01:51:28,956 --> 01:51:31,492
Yep, I'm here. Oh, God.

1997
01:51:31,526 --> 01:51:33,394
Uh, didn't you just drive here?

1998
01:51:36,531 --> 01:51:38,999
I could have in hindsight.

1999
01:51:39,033 --> 01:51:40,535
- I, I could have.
- I...

2000
01:51:40,569 --> 01:51:41,902
- So you ran.
- You're right. I...

2001
01:51:41,936 --> 01:51:44,205
I didn't have to.
But I did.

2002
01:51:45,239 --> 01:51:47,107
- Let's get you some water.
- Okay.

2003
01:52:02,022 --> 01:52:04,158
<i>I know a lot of people</i>
<i>think if they had the chance</i>

2004
01:52:04,191 --> 01:52:06,393
<i>to do it all over again,</i>
<i>they would.</i>

2005
01:52:06,927 --> 01:52:11,232
<i>Well, I'm here to tell you,</i>
<i>when it comes to your life,</i>

2006
01:52:11,265 --> 01:52:13,500
<i>it's all about</i>
<i>living your present.</i>

2007
01:52:14,034 --> 01:52:16,837
<i>Constantly looking back</i>
<i>will just give you a neck ache.</i>

2008
01:52:17,838 --> 01:52:20,007
<i>Elliot certainly got</i>
<i>what he wanted.</i>

2009
01:52:20,040 --> 01:52:22,076
<i>President of his pledge class</i>

2010
01:52:22,109 --> 01:52:25,212
<i>and completely reshaped Ki Mu</i>
<i>from the ground up.</i>

2011
01:52:25,980 --> 01:52:28,816
<i>Paulie finished first</i>
<i>in his ed psych class,</i>

2012
01:52:28,849 --> 01:52:30,451
<i>graduated with honors,</i>

2013
01:52:30,484 --> 01:52:32,152
<i>won back his family's respect.</i>

2014
01:52:32,186 --> 01:52:35,356
<i>And now he's shooting</i>
<i>for his master's degree</i>
<i>in education.</i>

2015
01:52:35,389 --> 01:52:36,725
Trust fund!

2016
01:52:36,757 --> 01:52:38,892
<i>You know,</i>
<i>for the kids and shit.</i>

2017
01:52:39,827 --> 01:52:41,095
<i>And me...</i>

2018
01:52:41,128 --> 01:52:43,130
<i>I finally realized</i>
<i>what I liked doing.</i>

2019
01:52:43,632 --> 01:52:49,503
<i>Helping those shy caterpillars</i>
<i>become full motherfucking</i>
<i>butterflies.</i>

2020
01:52:52,072 --> 01:52:55,909
<i>Everybody says that college</i>
<i>is the best four to seven,</i>

2021
01:52:55,943 --> 01:52:57,911
<i>maybe nine years of your life.</i>

2022
01:52:58,412 --> 01:53:00,715
<i>I used to be a firm believer</i>
<i>in that axiom</i>

2023
01:53:01,348 --> 01:53:04,018
<i>until a really good friend</i>
<i>showed me</i>

2024
01:53:04,719 --> 01:53:08,222
<i>life does get better</i>
<i>as we get older.</i>

2025
01:53:08,255 --> 01:53:11,492
<i>It just takes longer</i>
<i>for some of us to realize.</i>

2026
01:53:18,966 --> 01:53:20,301
Uh, Amy, here's the thing.

2027
01:53:20,334 --> 01:53:22,704
We've been traveling
the past few years

2028
01:53:22,737 --> 01:53:26,106
dedicating our lives
to helping children in need.

2029
01:53:28,777 --> 01:53:29,877
I'm sorry.

2030
01:53:29,910 --> 01:53:31,879
You know, I'm sorry. The--

2031
01:53:31,912 --> 01:53:33,347
So, sorry--

2032
01:53:33,380 --> 01:53:35,149
Really sorry about that.

2033
01:53:36,350 --> 01:53:37,619
This is the same shit
they give to Armstrong

2034
01:53:37,652 --> 01:53:39,119
- for the Tour de France.
- What?

2035
01:53:39,153 --> 01:53:41,855
Relax. I'm just joking.

2036
01:53:43,957 --> 01:53:45,560
Fuck, what did you
want me to say?

2037
01:53:45,593 --> 01:53:47,696
<i>If we win,</i>

2038
01:53:47,729 --> 01:53:50,364
Elliot gets a bid
into Ki Mu, but if we...

2039
01:53:50,397 --> 01:53:52,833
Hold on.
Let me try again.

2040
01:54:00,274 --> 01:54:02,443
Oh, you got it
on the other side.

2041
01:54:02,476 --> 01:54:03,611
Good.

2042
01:54:05,212 --> 01:54:09,083
Dwayne
"The Rock" Johnson.

2043
01:54:09,751 --> 01:54:13,521
Oh. Mayor Pete. Mayor Pete.
Mayor Pete. Mayor Pete.
Mayor Pete...

2044
01:54:15,055 --> 01:54:17,124
Hey, I don't know
if you-- oh!

2045
01:54:17,157 --> 01:54:19,527
- Get the fuck out of here, bro!
- Aah! I'm sorry.

2046
01:54:19,561 --> 01:54:20,894
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

2047
01:54:23,297 --> 01:54:25,366
- Shit.
- So like this? Like...

2048
01:54:26,033 --> 01:54:27,836
- Mm.
- Yeah, yeah,
you're totally getting it.

2049
01:54:27,868 --> 01:54:29,370
Or was it cross-country like...

2050
01:54:31,505 --> 01:54:34,408
Mrs. Zimmerman, I know
I'm late on last month's rent,

2051
01:54:34,441 --> 01:54:37,211
but I did finally get
to your groceries.

2052
01:54:41,048 --> 01:54:44,451
- Ah! Oh, my God. Whoa.
- Oh, Molly. What a treat.

2053
01:54:44,485 --> 01:54:45,854
You do love buffets.

2054
01:54:45,886 --> 01:54:48,288
Yeah, we are going downtown.

2055
01:54:48,322 --> 01:54:49,957
Oh, oh!

2056
01:54:56,731 --> 01:54:58,566
Goddammit.

2057
01:54:59,634 --> 01:55:02,637
Scott, I'm gonna need you
to give me the--
the footage. Okay?

2058
01:55:02,670 --> 01:55:06,373
I'm gonna need you
to remove your pants,
in which case footage is yours.

2059
01:55:06,407 --> 01:55:08,510
That is no. Give me
the fucking footage

2060
01:55:08,543 --> 01:55:10,712
and get me out of fucking
<i>Freddy's Nightmares.</i>

2061
01:55:10,745 --> 01:55:12,413
Fuck you,
Elliot Steinberg!

2062
01:55:12,446 --> 01:55:14,716
- Steiner.
- Steinerstein.

2063
01:55:14,749 --> 01:55:16,851
- Steiner.
- Steinman.

2064
01:55:20,421 --> 01:55:22,256
What--
what are you doing?

2065
01:55:22,289 --> 01:55:23,924
Trying not to blow our cover.

2066
01:55:23,957 --> 01:55:26,026
What? Most of these kids--
Oh, fuck.

2067
01:55:26,059 --> 01:55:27,729
Fucked it. Fucked it up.

2068
01:55:27,762 --> 01:55:29,029
Okay, go back to one...

2069
01:55:29,597 --> 01:55:32,734
I want your undies
on your head, please.

2070
01:55:36,738 --> 01:55:38,405
- I'm mic-ed up though.
- Stu!

2071
01:55:40,040 --> 01:55:41,408
Okay.

2072
01:55:43,778 --> 01:55:45,179
Alright. Um...

2073
01:55:45,680 --> 01:55:47,615
And now...

2074
01:55:47,649 --> 01:55:48,716
Yeah, okay.

2075
01:55:49,349 --> 01:55:52,019
I'm crying. Okay. Okay.
Maybe I'll just back it up
a second.

2076
01:55:52,052 --> 01:55:53,353
Okay. No, no.

2077
01:55:53,387 --> 01:55:55,590
No, no, I can do it.
I can do it. Um...

2078
01:55:55,623 --> 01:55:57,357
<i>It's Michael, take two.</i>

2079
01:55:58,058 --> 01:55:59,594
<i>It's Michael, take two.</i>

2080
01:56:00,461 --> 01:56:04,532
You like beer? I had
an IPA the other day
called, uh, Gnarly Beaver.

2081
01:56:04,566 --> 01:56:06,835
I had an IPA the other day
called Swollen Frog.

2082
01:56:06,868 --> 01:56:10,638
Beers, huh? I had you
pegged for more
of a skinny Margarita girl.

2083
01:56:10,672 --> 01:56:12,306
Oh, yeah, I do love those.

2084
01:56:17,946 --> 01:56:19,848
You know what? I take it back.

2085
01:56:19,881 --> 01:56:22,449
Not gonna fuck you. Swipe left.

2086
01:56:23,083 --> 01:56:24,686
Fuck you.