1 00:00:00,845 --> 00:00:01,947 [dramatic music] 2 00:00:02,014 --> 00:00:03,684 [electricity zapping] - [grunting] 3 00:00:03,751 --> 00:00:06,790 ♪♪ ♪♪ 4 00:00:06,857 --> 00:00:08,594 [electricity zapping] LAURA: Come on, bud. 5 00:00:08,661 --> 00:00:10,698 You don't slither into Delaware from the Plorble Realm 6 00:00:10,765 --> 00:00:12,669 to hang out in the Hamboni's parking lot, okay? 7 00:00:12,736 --> 00:00:14,171 [electricity zapping] - [yelping] 8 00:00:14,238 --> 00:00:16,075 - Why are you here? What's your plan? 9 00:00:16,142 --> 00:00:17,411 [electricity zapping] 10 00:00:17,478 --> 00:00:19,181 More? Okay. 11 00:00:19,248 --> 00:00:20,552 [chain saw buzzing] 12 00:00:21,052 --> 00:00:22,622 - Spit it out, you goblin fuck. 13 00:00:23,256 --> 00:00:24,560 - Ladies' night! 14 00:00:24,626 --> 00:00:26,664 I'm finally getting you out of the house 15 00:00:26,730 --> 00:00:28,266 and into The Coconut Hole-- 16 00:00:28,333 --> 00:00:31,306 frozen fireballs served by bulging hunks in tight shorts. 17 00:00:31,372 --> 00:00:32,776 - Yeah, change of plans, Darlene. 18 00:00:32,842 --> 00:00:34,278 I got my hands full right now. 19 00:00:34,345 --> 00:00:35,748 Bastards like this keep showing up. 20 00:00:35,815 --> 00:00:37,484 I think they're drawn to Chrissy or something. 21 00:00:37,552 --> 00:00:39,488 - Uh-uh, no more living like you're in witness protection. 22 00:00:39,556 --> 00:00:41,192 You promised tonight's the night. 23 00:00:41,259 --> 00:00:42,629 Chrissy's at her dad's for the weekend. 24 00:00:42,696 --> 00:00:44,465 - Which means I actually have a night to myself, 25 00:00:44,533 --> 00:00:46,302 and I'd rather not spend it surrounded by 26 00:00:46,369 --> 00:00:47,906 spray-tanned lemmings drinking daiquiris 27 00:00:47,973 --> 00:00:49,342 until their Cialis kicks in. 28 00:00:49,408 --> 00:00:50,410 - Listen, I get it. 29 00:00:50,477 --> 00:00:51,914 After my first marriage ended, 30 00:00:51,981 --> 00:00:53,416 I was terrified to get back out there, leave the house. 31 00:00:53,483 --> 00:00:55,521 - I'm not scared. I have a routine and I like it. 32 00:00:55,588 --> 00:00:57,659 DARLENE: I'd make up excuses: "Gotta fix a leaky pipe." 33 00:00:57,726 --> 00:00:59,362 "I have syphilis." - This is not an excuse. 34 00:00:59,428 --> 00:01:00,899 I don't have time to dick around with dicks. 35 00:01:00,965 --> 00:01:02,268 - But then Tia Saltzman 36 00:01:02,334 --> 00:01:03,804 forced me out onto the dance floor, 37 00:01:03,871 --> 00:01:06,644 and a phoenix Darlene rose from the goddamn ashes. 38 00:01:06,710 --> 00:01:09,583 - Aah! I'll go out if you just stop talking, okay, Darlene? 39 00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,252 DARLENE: Yes! - You, don't get cozy. 40 00:01:11,319 --> 00:01:12,656 I'm coming back for your ass. 41 00:01:12,722 --> 00:01:14,726 Okay, one drink, though. - Watch out, Middletown. 42 00:01:14,793 --> 00:01:17,398 It's Laura and Darlene's big night out! 43 00:01:17,464 --> 00:01:18,567 Title sequence. - [sighs] 44 00:01:18,634 --> 00:01:19,569 LAURA: [groans] 45 00:01:19,636 --> 00:01:22,575 [dark music] 46 00:01:22,642 --> 00:01:25,480 ♪♪ ♪♪ 47 00:01:25,548 --> 00:01:27,585 - And then at 10:00 p. m., they sound a bullhorn, 48 00:01:27,652 --> 00:01:29,322 and the first one up the tiki pole 49 00:01:29,388 --> 00:01:31,827 gets a bowl of Everclear poured in their mouth. 50 00:01:31,894 --> 00:01:33,063 Aren't you glad you came out? 51 00:01:33,129 --> 00:01:34,198 - There are two separate men 52 00:01:34,265 --> 00:01:36,402 masturbating in two separate corners. 53 00:01:36,469 --> 00:01:39,041 - Ooh, cutie at five o'clock. Hot tip: take his compliment. 54 00:01:39,108 --> 00:01:42,949 Then tease with a spicy little secret about yourself. 55 00:01:43,016 --> 00:01:45,253 - Hi. Your soul is gorgeous. 56 00:01:45,320 --> 00:01:46,757 - Thank you. 57 00:01:46,824 --> 00:01:48,761 You should see the scar from the vaginal tear I had 58 00:01:48,828 --> 00:01:49,863 when birthing my daughter. 59 00:01:49,930 --> 00:01:51,232 - [whimpers, groans] 60 00:01:51,299 --> 00:01:52,969 - Jeez, that was some sweet meat you just burnt. 61 00:01:53,036 --> 00:01:54,706 Maybe put some sugar in it next time. 62 00:01:54,773 --> 00:01:56,409 - There won't be a next time. I'm out. 63 00:01:56,476 --> 00:01:58,547 - What? we just got here. 64 00:01:58,614 --> 00:02:00,350 - I did what you asked and what I told you I'd do. 65 00:02:00,417 --> 00:02:02,354 If I stay any longer, I will kill someone. 66 00:02:02,421 --> 00:02:03,557 - But you haven't even seen 67 00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:04,726 the Kahlúa Crab Canoe yet. [air horn blows] 68 00:02:04,793 --> 00:02:06,229 - Yeah, close me out before I repaint 69 00:02:06,296 --> 00:02:07,732 the bathroom walls with my brain. 70 00:02:07,799 --> 00:02:09,936 Hurry it up, asshole. Need the fuck outta here. 71 00:02:10,003 --> 00:02:11,540 EVERETT: Surely someone with your disposition 72 00:02:11,607 --> 00:02:13,310 would know a place with a motto 73 00:02:13,376 --> 00:02:15,848 "Have a Hula-va good time" would be a living disease. 74 00:02:15,915 --> 00:02:17,519 - And surely you're perceptive enough to know 75 00:02:17,585 --> 00:02:19,388 hitting on me is a dead end. 76 00:02:19,455 --> 00:02:21,459 - I'm here merely as a social observer, 77 00:02:21,527 --> 00:02:23,564 soaking in the waning sexual rhythms 78 00:02:23,631 --> 00:02:26,069 of these septuagenarians for my latest novella. 79 00:02:26,135 --> 00:02:27,706 - Uh-huh. 80 00:02:27,772 --> 00:02:29,609 So how long have you been a serial killer? 81 00:02:29,676 --> 00:02:31,446 - I'm--what? 82 00:02:31,513 --> 00:02:32,649 - The fishing line marks on your hands, 83 00:02:32,716 --> 00:02:34,318 binocular indents around your eyes, 84 00:02:34,385 --> 00:02:36,356 minor abrasions on your forearm and cheekbone. 85 00:02:36,422 --> 00:02:38,159 Last one put up a fight? 86 00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:39,863 And either you're Forrest Gump, or... 87 00:02:39,930 --> 00:02:44,372 [inhales sharply] Ooh, yup, that's a billy club. 88 00:02:44,438 --> 00:02:46,309 - Two Marys, extra bloody. 89 00:02:46,376 --> 00:02:47,746 Who are you? 90 00:02:47,812 --> 00:02:51,052 - I'm just a single girl looking for a fun night out. 91 00:02:51,119 --> 00:02:53,524 Let me get that. - No, no, it's on me. 92 00:02:56,229 --> 00:02:57,665 - Okay. [laughs] 93 00:02:57,732 --> 00:02:58,734 Ketamine, really? 94 00:02:58,801 --> 00:03:01,205 You trying to murder me or disappoint me? 95 00:03:01,272 --> 00:03:02,742 Mama's got the antidote, though. 96 00:03:04,378 --> 00:03:06,449 - Dog piss aftertaste... tromaxadam? 97 00:03:06,517 --> 00:03:08,921 [chuckles] Who are you, my psychiatrist? 98 00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:11,459 - What's more obvious is the needle up your sleeve. 99 00:03:11,527 --> 00:03:13,864 You'll never stick me before I fry your balls. 100 00:03:13,931 --> 00:03:15,400 [Taser crackles] 101 00:03:15,467 --> 00:03:17,806 - Everett. - Laura. Tell you what. 102 00:03:17,872 --> 00:03:20,410 I'll let you stab me once to stroke your ego. 103 00:03:20,477 --> 00:03:22,882 - A single thrust is all I'll need. 104 00:03:23,784 --> 00:03:25,187 LITTLE BOY PUPPET: ♪♪ They say my dad the devil ♪♪ 105 00:03:25,253 --> 00:03:27,257 ♪♪ Is a real evil fellow ♪♪ 106 00:03:27,324 --> 00:03:30,097 ♪♪ But that's just a bucket of lies ♪♪ 107 00:03:30,163 --> 00:03:31,432 BIG STRONG MAN PUPPET: ♪♪ Thanks, my little angel ♪♪ 108 00:03:31,500 --> 00:03:33,036 ♪♪ You see the other angle ♪♪ 109 00:03:33,103 --> 00:03:35,775 ♪♪ I want what's best for you and mankind ♪♪ 110 00:03:35,842 --> 00:03:37,344 LITTLE BOY PUPPET: ♪♪ I'm the Antichrist ♪♪ 111 00:03:37,411 --> 00:03:39,014 ♪♪ And I'll sign the pact ♪♪ 112 00:03:39,081 --> 00:03:40,551 ♪♪ Because I love my dad ♪♪ 113 00:03:40,618 --> 00:03:42,622 ♪♪ Let's make a contract ♪♪ SATAN: [laughs] 114 00:03:42,689 --> 00:03:44,726 BIG STRONG MAN PUPPET: In fact, we can start right now. 115 00:03:44,793 --> 00:03:46,095 SATAN: What a production! 116 00:03:46,162 --> 00:03:48,433 PUPPETS: Maximus Dawnus, here we come! 117 00:03:48,501 --> 00:03:50,103 LITTLE BOY PUPPET: I love you, Dad. 118 00:03:50,170 --> 00:03:51,673 - Boo! 119 00:03:51,740 --> 00:03:52,876 CHRISSY: Excuse me. SATAN: Pardon me, pardon me. 120 00:03:52,942 --> 00:03:54,211 - [whistles] Hey, cabbie! 121 00:03:54,278 --> 00:03:55,347 - Get out of the way! - [grunts] 122 00:03:55,414 --> 00:03:56,950 - I thought you were into it. - Really? 123 00:03:57,017 --> 00:03:59,355 You thought I'd be into a puppet propaganda show 124 00:03:59,422 --> 00:04:00,958 all about signing your pact? 125 00:04:01,025 --> 00:04:03,062 - You got me there. Playwright lacked subtlety. 126 00:04:03,129 --> 00:04:04,365 - [scoffs] I'm going home. 127 00:04:04,432 --> 00:04:05,735 - Home? Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't go. 128 00:04:05,802 --> 00:04:07,572 - I wanted to spend quality time with you, 129 00:04:07,639 --> 00:04:09,810 but obviously that's impossible, so... 130 00:04:09,876 --> 00:04:12,047 - Aw, come on. - Yeah, I have friends to see, 131 00:04:12,114 --> 00:04:13,183 homework to do, 132 00:04:13,249 --> 00:04:14,318 Great British Bake Off to binge. 133 00:04:14,385 --> 00:04:15,688 - Give me one more shot. 134 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:17,525 You think this was all I had planned today? 135 00:04:17,592 --> 00:04:20,565 Oh, no, I got a whole afternoon mapped out. 136 00:04:20,631 --> 00:04:22,869 You're gonna crap your pants, you're gonna love it so much. 137 00:04:22,936 --> 00:04:24,940 Come on, baby. 138 00:04:25,006 --> 00:04:28,480 [dark dance music playing] 139 00:04:28,547 --> 00:04:30,016 LAURA: Smaller than I imagined. 140 00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:32,087 - I wanna make you wet with your own blood. 141 00:04:32,154 --> 00:04:35,995 - I'm gonna open you up and see how hard your bones are. 142 00:04:36,062 --> 00:04:38,466 - Laura? You decided to stay! 143 00:04:38,534 --> 00:04:40,337 You and your cutie wanna head to 'Rokey in a bit? 144 00:04:40,403 --> 00:04:42,407 - Let's take this someplace private. 145 00:04:42,474 --> 00:04:43,644 - Oh, getting right to it. Okay. 146 00:04:43,711 --> 00:04:45,615 Kind of a 180, but do your thing, girl. 147 00:04:45,681 --> 00:04:47,151 Get that big old bass. 148 00:04:47,217 --> 00:04:50,190 LAURA: [grunting] 149 00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,425 - Nice and tight. 150 00:04:51,493 --> 00:04:53,363 - [chuckles] I've been pulled tighter. 151 00:04:53,429 --> 00:04:54,733 [both grunt] 152 00:04:55,868 --> 00:04:57,171 LAURA: [grunts] 153 00:04:57,237 --> 00:04:58,941 EVERETT: I know we just met, but... 154 00:04:59,008 --> 00:04:59,976 LAURA: [chuckles] 155 00:05:00,043 --> 00:05:01,947 EVERETT: What do you say we go all the way? 156 00:05:02,014 --> 00:05:04,953 - Wow, and that's just the tip, huh? 157 00:05:05,020 --> 00:05:06,155 [intense music] 158 00:05:06,222 --> 00:05:08,661 [groans] 159 00:05:08,727 --> 00:05:10,631 - Oh, my God, I killed a man. 160 00:05:10,698 --> 00:05:12,100 - Darlene, why did you do that? 161 00:05:12,167 --> 00:05:14,639 - Well, I was saving you Single White Female style. 162 00:05:14,706 --> 00:05:16,777 - I wasn't in trouble. I was totally fine. 163 00:05:16,844 --> 00:05:18,714 I was doing a thing. - Thing? What kind of thing? 164 00:05:18,781 --> 00:05:20,450 He was about to chop you up. 165 00:05:20,518 --> 00:05:21,954 - Yeah, that's what serial killers do, 166 00:05:22,020 --> 00:05:23,724 but I was gonna kill him eventually. 167 00:05:23,791 --> 00:05:25,360 - I brought you out to get you away 168 00:05:25,427 --> 00:05:27,899 from torturing monsters in dark garages. 169 00:05:27,966 --> 00:05:30,538 And here you are in a dark alley with another monster? 170 00:05:30,605 --> 00:05:32,307 - Oh, you're one to judge. 171 00:05:32,374 --> 00:05:33,744 You lure innocent Instacart shoppers 172 00:05:33,811 --> 00:05:35,581 into your house with candy and cheese plates. 173 00:05:35,648 --> 00:05:37,417 - How I please those Instacart shoppers 174 00:05:37,484 --> 00:05:38,821 is a gift for everyone involved, 175 00:05:38,888 --> 00:05:41,325 and I want you to experience that fun in your life. 176 00:05:41,392 --> 00:05:44,533 - No offense, Darlene, but you don't know what I need, okay? 177 00:05:44,599 --> 00:05:46,402 [casts spell] 178 00:05:46,469 --> 00:05:48,841 - Okay, I'm actually great at picking up on what people need. 179 00:05:48,908 --> 00:05:50,043 I'm an Aries. 180 00:05:50,110 --> 00:05:52,014 LAURA: Well, I need you to guard the entrance 181 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:54,051 so I can clean up this mess and head home. 182 00:05:54,118 --> 00:05:55,487 Stay here, and don't move. 183 00:05:56,623 --> 00:05:58,159 [bird shrieks] 184 00:05:58,226 --> 00:05:59,596 DARLENE: Laur, I'm gonna be blunt. 185 00:05:59,663 --> 00:06:01,032 I've read enough Brené Brown 186 00:06:01,098 --> 00:06:03,336 to spot a self-saboteur when I see one. 187 00:06:03,403 --> 00:06:04,639 - Darlene, what the hell? 188 00:06:04,706 --> 00:06:06,175 I told you to watch the door. 189 00:06:06,242 --> 00:06:07,512 Liquesco is a fragile 190 00:06:07,579 --> 00:06:09,649 and extremely powerful compound, okay? 191 00:06:09,716 --> 00:06:11,620 It can open fissures to hidden corners of the Earth, 192 00:06:11,687 --> 00:06:13,223 but if any type of liquid touches it-- 193 00:06:13,289 --> 00:06:15,761 - [slurring] This looks like as good a place as any 194 00:06:15,828 --> 00:06:17,030 to urinate. 195 00:06:19,168 --> 00:06:20,738 - No! Motherfu-- 196 00:06:23,042 --> 00:06:24,546 - Ew. Ugh. 197 00:06:24,613 --> 00:06:25,715 How much longer is this gonna be? 198 00:06:25,781 --> 00:06:26,883 You couldn't have just, like, 199 00:06:26,950 --> 00:06:28,554 blammo'd to us to wherever we're going? 200 00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:30,423 - You'd think they'd have a better system by now, 201 00:06:30,491 --> 00:06:32,127 but the only way to travel to other realms 202 00:06:32,194 --> 00:06:34,866 on this plane of existence is public transportation. 203 00:06:34,933 --> 00:06:36,402 - We're going to another realm? 204 00:06:36,469 --> 00:06:38,874 - The Metaphysical Realm is just one of a shit ton 205 00:06:38,941 --> 00:06:41,078 across the Demicorporeal Plane. 206 00:06:41,145 --> 00:06:43,416 Imagine this whole place as a shopping mall 207 00:06:43,483 --> 00:06:45,988 and the realms are like the stores in it. 208 00:06:46,055 --> 00:06:48,159 The one we're going to is like Hot Topic 209 00:06:48,226 --> 00:06:50,263 but with fornication and genocide. 210 00:06:50,330 --> 00:06:52,234 CONDUCTOR: Next stop: Wibby Turkle Realm. 211 00:06:52,301 --> 00:06:53,804 Wibby Turkle, next stop. 212 00:06:57,812 --> 00:07:00,685 - I used to come here when it was a genuine piece of shit. 213 00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:01,987 Now it's a tourist trap. 214 00:07:02,054 --> 00:07:03,657 SELLER: Get your Choochie tchotchkes. 215 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:04,759 Get your Choochie tchotchkes. SATAN: Don't worry. 216 00:07:04,826 --> 00:07:06,362 I got us the VIP treatment. 217 00:07:06,429 --> 00:07:07,364 CREATURE: Welcome. 218 00:07:07,431 --> 00:07:09,769 CHRISSY: [gasping] 219 00:07:10,236 --> 00:07:11,372 NYMPH: [giggles] 220 00:07:11,439 --> 00:07:12,341 [flatulence] SATAN: Mmm. 221 00:07:12,407 --> 00:07:13,376 CHRISSY: Ugh! 222 00:07:13,443 --> 00:07:15,380 NYMPH: [giggles] Ooh! 223 00:07:15,447 --> 00:07:17,084 - Whoa, do I get to keep this? 224 00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:18,520 I weirdly like it. 225 00:07:18,587 --> 00:07:19,889 You wanna give me a hint of what we're doing here? 226 00:07:19,956 --> 00:07:22,227 - Let's just say it's not a puppet show. 227 00:07:22,294 --> 00:07:23,831 [laughs] 228 00:07:23,897 --> 00:07:25,868 [cheers and applause] ANNOUNCER: Welcome once again 229 00:07:25,935 --> 00:07:28,941 to the number one game show in all the realms, 230 00:07:29,008 --> 00:07:32,815 the only show that killing is legally required: 231 00:07:32,882 --> 00:07:35,487 the Realm of Realms, 232 00:07:35,554 --> 00:07:38,159 presented by Roach Automobiles. 233 00:07:38,226 --> 00:07:39,796 - What did you get us into? 234 00:07:39,863 --> 00:07:41,332 - You wanted you and me time. 235 00:07:41,399 --> 00:07:43,971 - No, like lunch or something, not kill or be killed. 236 00:07:44,038 --> 00:07:46,409 - Chillax, we're not gonna bond over a sandwich. 237 00:07:46,475 --> 00:07:47,712 Trust me on this one. 238 00:07:47,779 --> 00:07:50,250 ANNOUNCER: And now your outstanding host 239 00:07:50,317 --> 00:07:54,024 and executive producer of everything Wibby Turkle, 240 00:07:54,091 --> 00:07:57,030 the ruler who will fuck, marry, and kill you, 241 00:07:57,097 --> 00:08:01,339 the one and only Queen Inichoochiama! 242 00:08:01,405 --> 00:08:03,009 CROWD: Choochie, Choochie, 243 00:08:03,076 --> 00:08:04,746 Choochie, Choochie! 244 00:08:04,813 --> 00:08:06,783 INICHOOCHIAMA: [laughs] 245 00:08:06,850 --> 00:08:09,121 Hello, hello, hello, 246 00:08:09,188 --> 00:08:11,526 all of my stupid-ass Choochie babies. 247 00:08:11,593 --> 00:08:13,196 Can I ask you something? 248 00:08:13,262 --> 00:08:14,799 CROWD: Yes, you can! 249 00:08:14,866 --> 00:08:17,304 - What do you want more than anything in all the realms? 250 00:08:17,371 --> 00:08:18,741 CROWD: We wanna fuck a corpse. 251 00:08:18,807 --> 00:08:20,377 - I can't hear you. 252 00:08:20,443 --> 00:08:22,014 CROWD: We wanna fuck a corpse! 253 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,149 - [laughs] 254 00:08:23,216 --> 00:08:25,821 I've got a heck of a show for you tonight, babies. 255 00:08:25,888 --> 00:08:28,026 We have two very special vermin. 256 00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:29,963 Once an exterminator on our show, 257 00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:32,668 the baddest boy in town, and one of my faves, 258 00:08:32,735 --> 00:08:34,506 welcome Satan. 259 00:08:34,572 --> 00:08:35,841 [fireworks popping] 260 00:08:35,908 --> 00:08:37,177 [cheers and applause] 261 00:08:37,244 --> 00:08:38,747 - How you doin', Chooch? 262 00:08:38,814 --> 00:08:39,849 - Well, now that you're here, 263 00:08:39,916 --> 00:08:40,885 I'd be lying if I didn't say wet. 264 00:08:40,951 --> 00:08:43,189 - Eww! - And he's joined 265 00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,695 by his adorable half-human daughter, 266 00:08:45,761 --> 00:08:47,364 Cringey Christ. 267 00:08:47,431 --> 00:08:50,003 - It's Chrissy! And Feinberg. 268 00:08:50,070 --> 00:08:51,940 - They'll be facing off against our exterminators, 269 00:08:52,007 --> 00:08:54,378 the most powerful and sociopathic creatures 270 00:08:54,445 --> 00:08:56,248 from all corners of the realms. 271 00:08:56,315 --> 00:09:00,524 Will our vermin survive, or will they go bye-bye? 272 00:09:00,591 --> 00:09:01,727 [laughs] 273 00:09:01,793 --> 00:09:04,833 Let the games begin! 274 00:09:09,341 --> 00:09:10,243 [both scream] 275 00:09:11,345 --> 00:09:13,984 - Ugh! What is this, an open mic night? 276 00:09:14,051 --> 00:09:16,623 - The queen produces the most craven torture chambers. 277 00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:17,959 Ah, she's amazing. 278 00:09:18,025 --> 00:09:19,596 CHRISSY: Anyone got earplugs? I hate this song. 279 00:09:19,662 --> 00:09:20,798 CREATURE: [sings last note] 280 00:09:20,865 --> 00:09:22,735 - Up next is the improv troupe 281 00:09:22,802 --> 00:09:25,373 The Whoopee Cushions, doing a six-hour set. 282 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:27,712 - Holy shit, this is awful. 283 00:09:27,779 --> 00:09:29,983 - Can we get a song lyric from the audience? 284 00:09:30,049 --> 00:09:32,254 - [roars] 285 00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,289 - [yelps] 286 00:09:33,356 --> 00:09:36,262 [dark music] 287 00:09:36,328 --> 00:09:38,834 And...scene. 288 00:09:38,901 --> 00:09:40,838 - [roars] ANNOUNCER: Here comes Typhon. 289 00:09:40,905 --> 00:09:43,911 Remember, if it bleeds, he can kill it. 290 00:09:43,977 --> 00:09:46,382 - If you think a death match is how I wanna bond, 291 00:09:46,449 --> 00:09:47,819 you really don't know me at all. 292 00:09:47,885 --> 00:09:49,589 - Your human conditioning has kept you 293 00:09:49,656 --> 00:09:51,225 from tapping into the real you. 294 00:09:51,292 --> 00:09:52,227 This will help you let go. 295 00:09:52,294 --> 00:09:54,632 - No, this is child endangerment. 296 00:09:54,699 --> 00:09:55,801 You messed up, Dad. 297 00:09:55,868 --> 00:09:57,772 - You're with an all-powerful being, honey. 298 00:09:57,839 --> 00:10:00,143 Don't worry. Trust your instincts. 299 00:10:00,210 --> 00:10:02,648 - [screams] ANNOUNCER: Check, please. 300 00:10:02,715 --> 00:10:04,819 Don't forget to rip your bartender. 301 00:10:04,886 --> 00:10:07,892 - What? This is your best move as an all-powerful being? 302 00:10:07,959 --> 00:10:09,729 Suck my ass, old man! 303 00:10:09,796 --> 00:10:11,198 - [roars] CHRISSY: [shrieks] 304 00:10:11,265 --> 00:10:12,935 ANNOUNCER: Someone get a breath mint. 305 00:10:14,438 --> 00:10:15,674 - Whoa! 306 00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:18,146 - See, endangerment has its benefits. 307 00:10:21,285 --> 00:10:22,622 CHRISSY: [yells] 308 00:10:22,688 --> 00:10:25,594 [dramatic music] 309 00:10:25,661 --> 00:10:28,065 ♪♪ ♪♪ 310 00:10:28,132 --> 00:10:30,203 SATAN: Daddy-daughter killing time. 311 00:10:30,270 --> 00:10:33,209 - That wasn't so bad. - Only 23 to go. 312 00:10:33,276 --> 00:10:35,748 - 23? Okay, fine. 313 00:10:35,815 --> 00:10:37,217 Let's do it. 314 00:10:37,284 --> 00:10:38,921 - You son of a... 315 00:10:38,987 --> 00:10:40,356 biiiitch! 316 00:10:42,327 --> 00:10:45,200 - So is this, like, your, uh, home away from home? 317 00:10:45,266 --> 00:10:46,970 - These are hidden pockets on Earth 318 00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,707 that most people have no clue exist, 319 00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:50,511 and this is my little pocket, okay? 320 00:10:50,578 --> 00:10:52,147 [sighs] For junk. 321 00:10:52,214 --> 00:10:54,484 Shit, I used up the extra Liquesco. 322 00:10:54,552 --> 00:10:55,921 Okay, plan B. 323 00:10:55,988 --> 00:10:57,758 - Gotta admit, more skeletons 324 00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,394 than I was expecting to see tonight. 325 00:10:59,461 --> 00:11:00,764 - They were all pieces of shit. 326 00:11:00,831 --> 00:11:02,033 All right, can you shut up for a second? 327 00:11:02,100 --> 00:11:03,236 You got us stuck in this place. 328 00:11:03,302 --> 00:11:05,039 I need to focus on getting us out. 329 00:11:05,106 --> 00:11:07,979 - I think the real issue is you have this place to begin with. 330 00:11:08,045 --> 00:11:09,816 - We can't all rosé the day away. 331 00:11:09,883 --> 00:11:11,686 It's called self-preservation. 332 00:11:11,753 --> 00:11:12,989 - You know, Laur, one of these days, 333 00:11:13,055 --> 00:11:14,859 your stinger's gonna sting you right back. 334 00:11:14,926 --> 00:11:16,161 - This is a guy I used to torture. 335 00:11:16,228 --> 00:11:17,632 Don't say anything to him, all right? 336 00:11:17,698 --> 00:11:18,700 - Mum's the word. 337 00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:20,203 [banging] 338 00:11:20,270 --> 00:11:21,305 [objects clattering] 339 00:11:21,372 --> 00:11:23,009 - Oh-ho-ho, Laura! 340 00:11:23,075 --> 00:11:24,712 My favorite person in all the realms. 341 00:11:24,779 --> 00:11:26,348 - Jesus Christ, I wish you were dead. 342 00:11:26,415 --> 00:11:27,384 - [laughs] 343 00:11:27,450 --> 00:11:29,454 Oh, you said the same thing last week. 344 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,991 - Last week? - Darlene, Jimmy. 345 00:11:31,058 --> 00:11:32,728 Jimmy, Darlene. - A pleasure. 346 00:11:32,795 --> 00:11:34,632 Did Chrissy like that summer scarf I made her? 347 00:11:34,699 --> 00:11:36,335 It's hard to find breathable materials. 348 00:11:36,402 --> 00:11:37,605 - I threw it away, asshole. 349 00:11:37,672 --> 00:11:38,674 You and your shit are worthless. 350 00:11:38,740 --> 00:11:40,043 Now, give me the cape chisel, 351 00:11:40,109 --> 00:11:41,980 or I'll hang you with your own nose again. 352 00:11:42,047 --> 00:11:44,418 - [laughs] Of course. I use it as a tea stirrer. 353 00:11:44,484 --> 00:11:46,021 - Oh, go fuck yourself. 354 00:11:46,088 --> 00:11:48,159 Now I just need five milligrams of goofer dust. 355 00:11:48,226 --> 00:11:50,330 - You tortured him? He seems so nice. 356 00:11:50,396 --> 00:11:52,735 I wanna pinch his cheeks, maybe pet his snorkel. 357 00:11:52,802 --> 00:11:54,171 That's not a sex thing, is it? 358 00:11:54,238 --> 00:11:55,708 - Don't, Darlene. - Ugh, who am I kidding? 359 00:11:55,774 --> 00:11:57,077 I'm down either way. 360 00:11:57,143 --> 00:11:58,914 - Don't even talk to him. In fact-- 361 00:11:58,981 --> 00:12:00,884 Oh, shit! Shit, it's a goofer dust gust. 362 00:12:00,951 --> 00:12:02,354 I-I just--I gotta get in there, all right? 363 00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:03,657 Don't move. Stay there. 364 00:12:03,724 --> 00:12:06,362 [grunting] 365 00:12:06,428 --> 00:12:08,399 - Ah! Where are my manners? 366 00:12:08,466 --> 00:12:09,769 Come on in. 367 00:12:09,836 --> 00:12:11,372 Let me get you some Erberribble. [chuckles] 368 00:12:11,438 --> 00:12:14,411 Sorry, that's what we call urine-rehydrated bone powder. 369 00:12:14,478 --> 00:12:17,284 - Mm...fine, but I'm-- I'm not allowed to talk. 370 00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:18,820 LAURA: Oh! Whoa! 371 00:12:18,887 --> 00:12:20,089 WORKER: The DMV windows... 372 00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,893 SATAN: [grunts] - Dad, heads up! 373 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,931 - Oh, oh. NEPHILIM: [growls] 374 00:12:23,997 --> 00:12:25,668 CHRISSY: Don't worry, I got you, Pops. 375 00:12:25,734 --> 00:12:27,705 SATAN: Chrissy, get in here! 376 00:12:27,772 --> 00:12:28,941 CHRISSY: Hey, Dad, stab me. 377 00:12:29,007 --> 00:12:30,711 - Oh, thanks! [grunts] 378 00:12:30,778 --> 00:12:32,782 - [roars] 379 00:12:32,848 --> 00:12:34,752 - I hope he was an organ donor. 380 00:12:34,819 --> 00:12:37,190 - He just got a license to die. 381 00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,061 - Shit just got real...ID. 382 00:12:39,127 --> 00:12:41,465 - [laughs] That's the one to beat. 383 00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:45,608 - Man, I really do feel this whole new connection to myself. 384 00:12:45,674 --> 00:12:46,710 It's like-- 385 00:12:46,776 --> 00:12:48,479 - Beyond human comprehension? 386 00:12:48,547 --> 00:12:49,983 - Yes, totally. [screams] 387 00:12:50,049 --> 00:12:51,786 - Ooh, my Choochies. 388 00:12:51,853 --> 00:12:54,224 Our contestants have savagely murdered 389 00:12:54,291 --> 00:12:56,161 every exterminator who's crossed their path. 390 00:12:56,228 --> 00:12:57,798 Now, for their final challenge, 391 00:12:57,865 --> 00:12:59,936 an audience member will choose the exterminator 392 00:13:00,003 --> 00:13:01,606 our competitors must face. 393 00:13:01,673 --> 00:13:03,242 So, Brad, who do you pick? 394 00:13:03,309 --> 00:13:05,013 - Queen, I choose the Manananggal. 395 00:13:05,079 --> 00:13:06,048 - [gasps] BRAD: I wanna see Satan 396 00:13:06,115 --> 00:13:07,551 have a serious challenge, 397 00:13:07,618 --> 00:13:09,989 and I also love her cookbook, Cooking with Carcasses. 398 00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:11,425 SATAN: Gorgeous. 399 00:13:11,493 --> 00:13:13,697 - [shrieks] CHRISSY: She's a fucking bat! 400 00:13:13,764 --> 00:13:15,466 Shit! Dad! 401 00:13:15,534 --> 00:13:17,470 - [yells] 402 00:13:17,538 --> 00:13:19,776 [shrieking] 403 00:13:19,842 --> 00:13:22,715 [exciting music] 404 00:13:22,782 --> 00:13:23,917 - And I'm just winging it. SATAN: Ow! 405 00:13:23,984 --> 00:13:25,086 - You okay, Daddio? 406 00:13:25,153 --> 00:13:26,756 - Oh, yeah, it's like wrestling. 407 00:13:26,823 --> 00:13:28,593 Gotta play to the audience. 408 00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:30,363 Pop's still on top. [yelps] 409 00:13:30,430 --> 00:13:32,668 But scoot over here and blaze this son of a bitch! 410 00:13:32,735 --> 00:13:38,479 ♪♪ ♪♪ 411 00:13:38,547 --> 00:13:40,083 ANNOUNCER: That's hot. [laughs] 412 00:13:40,149 --> 00:13:41,686 Oh, it's sizzling. 413 00:13:41,753 --> 00:13:44,993 - Wow, I haven't seen anyone do something like that since... 414 00:13:45,059 --> 00:13:47,297 me. - What was that? 415 00:13:47,364 --> 00:13:49,869 - You're tapping into the core of your powers. 416 00:13:49,936 --> 00:13:51,940 They're not just a tool you can use. 417 00:13:52,007 --> 00:13:53,442 They are you. 418 00:13:53,510 --> 00:13:56,015 This is a taste of what it's like to be all-powerful. 419 00:13:56,081 --> 00:13:58,820 - Whoo! Tastes pretty damn good. 420 00:13:58,887 --> 00:13:59,889 - Imagine how good it would feel 421 00:13:59,956 --> 00:14:02,427 to do this together all the time. 422 00:14:02,495 --> 00:14:03,530 [cheers and applause] 423 00:14:03,597 --> 00:14:04,932 We won, baby. 424 00:14:04,999 --> 00:14:06,435 INICHOOCHIAMA: I should have known. 425 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:09,509 - Chooch, honey, what's happening? 426 00:14:09,575 --> 00:14:11,613 - I knew something was wrong from the moment the show began. 427 00:14:11,679 --> 00:14:13,850 The Satan I knew could slay a thousand enemies 428 00:14:13,917 --> 00:14:15,286 while taking a shit. 429 00:14:15,353 --> 00:14:18,092 I know why you're here, and I won't let it happen. 430 00:14:18,159 --> 00:14:20,063 - What? Wh-what's she talking about? 431 00:14:20,129 --> 00:14:21,700 [fingers snap] - Don't listen to her, honey. 432 00:14:21,766 --> 00:14:22,902 CROWD: [gasps] 433 00:14:22,968 --> 00:14:24,404 - Wait, you can be hurt? 434 00:14:24,471 --> 00:14:26,208 - He's been losing power for a long time now, 435 00:14:26,275 --> 00:14:29,181 and the only way for him to reclaim it is through you. 436 00:14:29,247 --> 00:14:31,986 - That's insane, Chrissy, and completely untrue. 437 00:14:32,053 --> 00:14:32,988 INICHOOCHIAMA: Think about it. 438 00:14:33,055 --> 00:14:34,826 You carried him this whole show. 439 00:14:34,892 --> 00:14:36,763 He desperately needs you. 440 00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:37,998 SATAN: She's lyin'. 441 00:14:38,065 --> 00:14:39,869 She's been out to get me ever since I stopped 442 00:14:39,936 --> 00:14:42,273 coming on her show and schtupped her mother. 443 00:14:42,340 --> 00:14:44,946 - Ha! Classic Satan: minimizing a powerful woman 444 00:14:45,012 --> 00:14:47,117 by calling her jealous and out for revenge. 445 00:14:47,183 --> 00:14:48,486 No one wins my game, 446 00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:50,758 especially if you fucked my mom. 447 00:14:50,824 --> 00:14:52,060 CROWD: [booing] 448 00:14:52,127 --> 00:14:53,095 - If you wanna prove to your daughter 449 00:14:53,162 --> 00:14:54,398 you have the power... 450 00:14:54,464 --> 00:14:55,734 [fingers snap] You must beat me. 451 00:14:55,801 --> 00:14:57,671 CHRISSY: Get me out of here! 452 00:14:57,738 --> 00:14:58,673 [grunts] 453 00:14:58,740 --> 00:14:59,909 - Come on, 454 00:14:59,976 --> 00:15:02,013 why are you really doing this, Chooch? 455 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,917 - You know how it goes: the bigger the death, 456 00:15:03,984 --> 00:15:06,021 the higher the ratings, the sweeter the-- 457 00:15:06,088 --> 00:15:07,157 - The sweeter the pussy, yeah. 458 00:15:07,223 --> 00:15:10,497 - Release the Choochie Coochies! 459 00:15:14,137 --> 00:15:15,072 - So how do you know Laura? 460 00:15:15,139 --> 00:15:16,074 - Oh, well, we're neighbors, 461 00:15:16,141 --> 00:15:17,678 and I was hoping we'd be besties soon, 462 00:15:17,745 --> 00:15:19,515 but it's a work in progress. 463 00:15:19,582 --> 00:15:20,349 - That's great to hear. 464 00:15:20,416 --> 00:15:21,351 Sometimes I worry about her, 465 00:15:21,418 --> 00:15:22,922 everything she's been through and all, 466 00:15:22,988 --> 00:15:24,057 the whole Satan thing... - Mm. 467 00:15:24,124 --> 00:15:25,828 - Her childhood being no picnic, you know? 468 00:15:25,894 --> 00:15:28,800 At her quinceañera, the Titi Suzie cake debacle. 469 00:15:28,867 --> 00:15:30,236 - She tells you a lot, huh? 470 00:15:30,303 --> 00:15:32,307 - Deep down, Laura's a good person 471 00:15:32,373 --> 00:15:34,377 and just wants to connect. 472 00:15:34,444 --> 00:15:36,649 [sighs] I wish I were as good as her. 473 00:15:36,716 --> 00:15:38,119 - Oh, Jimmy, you are. 474 00:15:38,185 --> 00:15:40,958 You're such a kind, good snorkel monster. 475 00:15:41,024 --> 00:15:41,960 - You... 476 00:15:42,026 --> 00:15:43,797 [with deeper voice] You think so? 477 00:15:43,864 --> 00:15:44,932 - Oh, my God, you kidding me? 478 00:15:44,999 --> 00:15:46,301 You got a great personality, a house, 479 00:15:46,368 --> 00:15:47,638 what seems to be a job, 480 00:15:47,705 --> 00:15:49,976 and if the schnoz matches the schmeckle, 481 00:15:50,042 --> 00:15:52,380 I'll call you the whole package. 482 00:15:52,447 --> 00:15:54,084 Uh-oh! 483 00:15:55,119 --> 00:15:57,591 - Aah! Oh, damn it, Darlene! 484 00:15:58,459 --> 00:15:59,529 - [roars] 485 00:15:59,595 --> 00:16:01,131 LAURA: I said leave it to me. DARLENE: Oh! 486 00:16:01,198 --> 00:16:03,002 - Ego monsters are triggered by compliments. 487 00:16:03,068 --> 00:16:04,839 DARLENE: Ego monster? - When I catch you, 488 00:16:04,906 --> 00:16:06,910 I'll turn you both into trophies, 489 00:16:06,976 --> 00:16:09,181 because I'm a winner! 490 00:16:09,247 --> 00:16:10,383 - It would have helped 491 00:16:10,449 --> 00:16:12,153 if you actually communicated that to me. 492 00:16:12,220 --> 00:16:14,324 - Fuck yourself, you ugly elephant asshole! 493 00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:16,161 What good would that have done? 494 00:16:16,228 --> 00:16:18,265 I communicated I didn't wanna go out tonight. 495 00:16:18,332 --> 00:16:19,769 I communicated to watch the door, 496 00:16:19,836 --> 00:16:20,904 and you didn't listen. 497 00:16:20,971 --> 00:16:22,240 - You speak in fragments. 498 00:16:22,307 --> 00:16:23,577 It's never enough info. 499 00:16:23,643 --> 00:16:25,747 LAURA: [shouts] DARLENE: Oh, God. 500 00:16:25,814 --> 00:16:28,018 And I brought you out tonight because sometimes 501 00:16:28,085 --> 00:16:29,622 friends gotta force friends to do things 502 00:16:29,689 --> 00:16:32,460 they don't wanna do for their mental health. 503 00:16:33,864 --> 00:16:35,199 - I missed deliberately! 504 00:16:35,266 --> 00:16:37,103 I hated that part of the ground! 505 00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:38,673 I am so cool! 506 00:16:38,740 --> 00:16:40,811 - This is exactly why I don't have friends. 507 00:16:40,878 --> 00:16:42,681 I know what works for me. 508 00:16:44,384 --> 00:16:46,723 - This has been working for you? 509 00:16:46,789 --> 00:16:48,125 You'd rather deal with monsters 510 00:16:48,192 --> 00:16:49,427 instead of having drinks with me? 511 00:16:49,495 --> 00:16:50,797 - At least I'd get a word in 512 00:16:50,864 --> 00:16:53,135 instead of being steamrolled by some delusional optimist. 513 00:16:53,202 --> 00:16:54,572 - Oh, I think he's getting tired. 514 00:16:54,639 --> 00:16:57,043 We're gonna be okay. Oh! - What? 515 00:16:57,110 --> 00:16:58,312 - [roars] - Oh, never mind. 516 00:16:58,379 --> 00:17:00,316 LAURA: "Oh, never mind." Shut up, Darlene. 517 00:17:01,084 --> 00:17:02,755 - Chrissy, she's trying to divide us. 518 00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,391 We stick together, we're fine. 519 00:17:04,457 --> 00:17:07,030 So break outta that bubble and come help Daddy. 520 00:17:08,098 --> 00:17:09,535 Chrissy! 521 00:17:09,602 --> 00:17:11,004 - I don't know why I let myself believe you again. 522 00:17:11,071 --> 00:17:12,508 I'm such an idiot. 523 00:17:12,575 --> 00:17:14,477 You care more about this pact than your own daughter. 524 00:17:14,545 --> 00:17:16,348 - Not true. - Do you even like me? 525 00:17:16,415 --> 00:17:18,920 - Of course I do. - What's my middle name? 526 00:17:19,354 --> 00:17:20,757 - Girl Satan? - What? 527 00:17:20,824 --> 00:17:22,093 - I don't fucking know. 528 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:23,530 Okay, fine. All right. 529 00:17:23,597 --> 00:17:25,734 I brought you here under false pretenses, 530 00:17:25,801 --> 00:17:27,103 but I do care. 531 00:17:27,170 --> 00:17:28,707 - No, if you did, you wouldn't have put me 532 00:17:28,773 --> 00:17:29,809 through all this shit. 533 00:17:29,875 --> 00:17:31,245 You are so goddamn selfish. 534 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:32,982 Why can't you just be honest with me? 535 00:17:33,048 --> 00:17:35,419 - Okay, okay. The queen is right. 536 00:17:35,486 --> 00:17:37,390 I have lost a little power. 537 00:17:37,457 --> 00:17:39,996 When you were born, part of myself transferred to you. 538 00:17:40,062 --> 00:17:42,968 I just want to make it so no one can hurt us, honey. 539 00:17:43,035 --> 00:17:46,943 - Looks like the baddest boy has become the saddest boy. 540 00:17:47,010 --> 00:17:48,345 How you like that, TV land? 541 00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:50,918 - Uh, is this part of the show? 542 00:17:50,984 --> 00:17:52,287 - Oh, I know you're impressed, 543 00:17:52,353 --> 00:17:54,992 because this is objectively impressive. 544 00:17:55,059 --> 00:17:56,395 - This is why your husband left you. 545 00:17:56,461 --> 00:17:57,965 - Ugh, typical Laura. 546 00:17:58,032 --> 00:17:59,635 I'm sure your husband misses you. 547 00:17:59,702 --> 00:18:00,704 - Oh, Jesus, Darlene, 548 00:18:00,771 --> 00:18:03,375 you need to kill his confidence, or we die. 549 00:18:03,442 --> 00:18:05,547 - Guess being toxic isn't as easy for me 550 00:18:05,614 --> 00:18:07,651 as it is for you. 551 00:18:09,522 --> 00:18:12,360 - Looking at your face just jump-started my menopause. 552 00:18:12,427 --> 00:18:13,930 Yeah, I'm toxic, okay? 553 00:18:13,997 --> 00:18:15,934 Maybe I'm drawn to dark shit because deep down, 554 00:18:16,001 --> 00:18:18,305 I think I'm too screwed up for anything better. 555 00:18:18,940 --> 00:18:20,544 - [whimpering] 556 00:18:20,611 --> 00:18:23,048 Uh...snorkel monster? More like-- 557 00:18:23,115 --> 00:18:25,621 more like dorkel monster. 558 00:18:25,687 --> 00:18:27,123 - Okay, I'm shocked that one worked. 559 00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,795 - Listen, I know I come off as the perky neighbor type, 560 00:18:29,862 --> 00:18:31,231 but I can handle fucked up. 561 00:18:31,298 --> 00:18:32,935 - I don't think you can handle this fucked up. 562 00:18:33,002 --> 00:18:34,371 Whoa! 563 00:18:34,437 --> 00:18:35,874 Your children never call because they hate you! 564 00:18:35,941 --> 00:18:39,247 DARLENE: I only laughed at your jokes to make you feel better. 565 00:18:39,314 --> 00:18:41,284 [whimpers] 566 00:18:42,153 --> 00:18:43,657 [both yell] 567 00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,961 - I'm blasting us out of here with this goofer dust bomb. 568 00:18:46,028 --> 00:18:47,665 Start slinging insults. 569 00:18:49,301 --> 00:18:51,739 - Laura trapping you here is a gift to the world. 570 00:18:51,806 --> 00:18:54,210 My therapist told me everyone has something to live for. 571 00:18:54,277 --> 00:18:55,914 Clearly she's never met you. 572 00:18:55,981 --> 00:18:58,953 I'd tell you to kill yourself, but I'd feel bad for the knife! 573 00:18:59,020 --> 00:19:02,193 - Holy shit, Darlene, maybe you can handle this fucked up. 574 00:19:02,260 --> 00:19:03,830 - Yeah, I can, babe. 575 00:19:05,266 --> 00:19:07,403 - Come on, goofer dust, do your stuff! 576 00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:10,544 - Hit the gas! - Hold on, baby! 577 00:19:10,610 --> 00:19:13,382 - Hey, Jimmy, stick this up your small snorkel dick. 578 00:19:13,449 --> 00:19:16,321 [laughs] LAURA: Whoo! 579 00:19:17,457 --> 00:19:19,729 - Thanks for all the constructive criticism. 580 00:19:19,795 --> 00:19:21,298 Have a good one, pals. 581 00:19:22,534 --> 00:19:24,939 - And this is the alleged Princess of Darkness 582 00:19:25,006 --> 00:19:27,811 who is supposed to bring upon Maximus Dawnus? 583 00:19:27,878 --> 00:19:29,214 [laughs] Look at this, 584 00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:32,153 poor little bubble girl can't even pop a bubble. 585 00:19:32,220 --> 00:19:35,894 CROWD: Death to Satan. 586 00:19:35,961 --> 00:19:39,535 - It's going to be fun to watch you watch him... 587 00:19:39,602 --> 00:19:41,138 die. - [sobbing] 588 00:19:41,204 --> 00:19:42,775 INICHOOCHIAMA: [laughs wickedly] 589 00:19:42,841 --> 00:19:45,580 - [crying] 590 00:19:45,647 --> 00:19:48,920 [laughs] 591 00:19:48,987 --> 00:19:52,326 [dramatic music] 592 00:19:52,393 --> 00:19:54,699 [laughter echoing] 593 00:19:54,765 --> 00:19:59,909 ♪♪ ♪♪ 594 00:19:59,975 --> 00:20:03,583 [shrieks] 595 00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:05,854 INICHOOCHIAMA: Ah, yes! 596 00:20:08,860 --> 00:20:11,766 CHRISSY: [panting] 597 00:20:14,638 --> 00:20:17,009 [sighs] 598 00:20:17,076 --> 00:20:18,613 - Hot diggity dog! 599 00:20:18,680 --> 00:20:20,416 That went better than I thought it would. 600 00:20:20,483 --> 00:20:22,821 Folks are gonna lose their shit. 601 00:20:22,888 --> 00:20:24,124 You're a natural. 602 00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:25,560 - Huh? SATAN: Well, this was 603 00:20:25,627 --> 00:20:27,765 kind of like your debutante ball, you know, 604 00:20:27,831 --> 00:20:30,469 to introduce your savagery to all the realms. 605 00:20:30,537 --> 00:20:32,306 - But you almost died. 606 00:20:32,373 --> 00:20:34,645 - Meh, nah, I wasn't gonna actually die. 607 00:20:34,712 --> 00:20:37,316 I-I just wanted you to reach your full potential, 608 00:20:37,383 --> 00:20:38,520 and you did. 609 00:20:38,586 --> 00:20:40,957 - If that's true, that is so fucked up. 610 00:20:41,024 --> 00:20:42,528 - You're one to talk. 611 00:20:42,594 --> 00:20:45,834 I'm not the one who obliterated an entire arena. 612 00:20:45,901 --> 00:20:47,403 You should feel proud. 613 00:20:47,470 --> 00:20:49,675 Maybe we get some waffles to celebrate or-- 614 00:20:50,877 --> 00:20:52,480 You good? 615 00:20:52,548 --> 00:20:54,250 - No, I'm not good. 616 00:20:54,317 --> 00:20:55,352 I need a break. 617 00:20:55,419 --> 00:20:56,722 And if you wanna be my father, 618 00:20:56,789 --> 00:20:58,760 you need to be honest from the start. 619 00:20:58,827 --> 00:21:00,530 If not, I'm done. 620 00:21:03,402 --> 00:21:05,005 - Ow. [inhales sharply] 621 00:21:08,913 --> 00:21:11,051 [tender music] 622 00:21:11,118 --> 00:21:12,888 - Hey, thanks for getting me out of the house tonight. 623 00:21:12,955 --> 00:21:15,392 - That's what girlfriends do for each other. 624 00:21:15,459 --> 00:21:17,096 - Yeah, yeah, I guess so. 625 00:21:17,163 --> 00:21:19,702 - Been a long time since I pulled an all-nighter. 626 00:21:21,071 --> 00:21:22,841 - I'm still kind of wired. You wanna go-- 627 00:21:22,908 --> 00:21:24,778 - To an underground casino that uses Jell-O shots 628 00:21:24,845 --> 00:21:26,448 as chips and get in a fistfight? 629 00:21:26,516 --> 00:21:28,485 - I was thinking more like a diner. 630 00:21:28,553 --> 00:21:30,122 - Oh, the place on Elm serves drinks late, 631 00:21:30,189 --> 00:21:32,528 and the waiters all look like Patrick Swayze in Road House. 632 00:21:32,594 --> 00:21:34,832 - Darlene, you dirty old rascal. 633 00:21:34,899 --> 00:21:37,336 - [laughs] - Oh, wait, hold up. 634 00:21:37,403 --> 00:21:39,575 [creature snarls, bones crunching] 635 00:21:41,612 --> 00:21:42,915 Sorry, I just had to kill that goblin. 636 00:21:42,981 --> 00:21:45,085 - Oh, yeah, that thing. - Yeah. 637 00:21:45,152 --> 00:21:47,591 SINGER: ♪♪ Looking from a window above ♪♪ 638 00:21:47,658 --> 00:21:49,929 ♪♪ It's like a story of love ♪♪ 639 00:21:49,995 --> 00:21:51,364 [Yazoo's "Only You"] 640 00:21:51,431 --> 00:21:54,137 ♪♪ Can you hear me? ♪♪ 641 00:21:54,204 --> 00:21:56,676 ♪♪ Came back only yesterday ♪♪ 642 00:21:56,742 --> 00:21:59,982 ♪♪ You're moving farther away ♪♪ 643 00:22:00,049 --> 00:22:03,623 ♪♪ Want you near me ♪♪ 644 00:22:03,690 --> 00:22:07,063 ♪♪ All I needed was the love you gave ♪♪ 645 00:22:07,129 --> 00:22:10,002 [heartbeat thumping] 646 00:22:12,173 --> 00:22:15,079 [thumping quickens] 647 00:22:15,145 --> 00:22:18,051 [suspenseful music] 648 00:22:18,118 --> 00:22:19,788 ♪♪ ♪♪ 649 00:22:19,855 --> 00:22:22,528 [bird shrieks] - You failed us! 650 00:22:22,594 --> 00:22:24,297 WIFE: You have no job, no dick. 651 00:22:24,364 --> 00:22:25,667 Get out. 652 00:22:25,734 --> 00:22:26,502 - No! 653 00:22:26,569 --> 00:22:27,638 [distorted] No! 654 00:22:30,577 --> 00:22:32,446 I know what I have to do. 655 00:22:33,482 --> 00:22:35,486 - Hold up, what? - Yup. 656 00:22:35,554 --> 00:22:38,058 I'm gonna kill the girl who shot my dick off. 657 00:22:38,125 --> 00:22:39,795 - Wow, so you no longer want 658 00:22:39,862 --> 00:22:41,999 to kill the Antichrist to save the world? 659 00:22:42,066 --> 00:22:43,302 - Nope. 660 00:22:43,368 --> 00:22:45,607 I just wanna get her back for getting my dick shot off. 661 00:22:45,674 --> 00:22:48,580 - You know, we've been friends since we were in college, 662 00:22:48,646 --> 00:22:50,382 and you've always been the guy who... 663 00:22:50,449 --> 00:22:52,521 BOTH: Purged the world of demonic forces. 664 00:22:52,588 --> 00:22:54,190 - Yeah, that's changed. 665 00:22:54,257 --> 00:22:56,161 I don't know if you ever got your dick shot off, 666 00:22:56,228 --> 00:22:57,598 but it narrows your scope. 667 00:22:57,664 --> 00:23:00,402 - I like this for you. It's refreshingly simple. 668 00:23:00,469 --> 00:23:01,672 - Thanks, Tony. 669 00:23:01,739 --> 00:23:03,743 Well, I should probably head out. 670 00:23:03,810 --> 00:23:05,981 [slurps] I've got a little girl to kill. 671 00:23:06,047 --> 00:23:07,684 ♪♪ ♪♪