1
00:00:12,387 --> 00:00:13,513
Hello?
2
00:00:15,390 --> 00:00:16,808
{\an8}Erwin?
3
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:22,230
Oh, God.
Uh, I can see you.
4
00:00:22,230 --> 00:00:24,024
Get out of there.
5
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,316
Hey, I'm running late
for after-school pickup,
6
00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,403
- so let's hurry this up.
- Bring me to the Antichrist.
7
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,697
Honey, I gotta bring myself
to the Antichrist, all right?
8
00:00:30,697 --> 00:00:31,781
So what's your thing?
9
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,575
You need her blood
for eternal life?
10
00:00:33,575 --> 00:00:34,826
Gonna use her as a vessel
11
00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:36,453
to rule your shitty realm, what?
12
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:39,914
Burn her skin and eat
her bones for ultimate power!
13
00:00:39,998 --> 00:00:41,249
Okay, sure.
14
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:46,796
You shall die by my hands,
puny mortal!
15
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,299
Antichrist body will be mine!
16
00:00:59,601 --> 00:01:01,019
Fuck!
17
00:01:01,019 --> 00:01:03,480
I forgot about this coupon. Ugh.
18
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:13,656
Chrissy.
God damn it, Laura.
19
00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:15,867
- Oh, mother, you are alive.
- Hey.
20
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:17,077
{\an8}- Wow.
- Hey, I was about
21
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:18,328
{\an8}to come get you.
22
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:19,954
Finally got groceries.
You hungry?
23
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,873
{\an8}No, I ate with Amanda.
She made a salad
24
00:01:21,873 --> 00:01:23,625
{\an8}with something called
an heirloom tomato.
25
00:01:23,625 --> 00:01:25,168
Who the hell is Amanda?
26
00:01:25,168 --> 00:01:27,170
{\an8}She's a cool mom
who drove me home
27
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,631
{\an8}because my actual mom
was nowhere to be found again.
28
00:01:29,631 --> 00:01:31,216
- Isn't Amanda a fucking peach?
- She is.
29
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{\an8}She knows the nutrients
you're missing
30
00:01:32,884 --> 00:01:34,302
{\an8}based on the color
of your aura.
31
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:35,678
{\an8}She's, like, literally a witch.
32
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,222
{\an8}No, I'm literally a witch.
33
00:01:37,222 --> 00:01:38,765
{\an8}Anyway, I'm in a rush.
34
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,350
{\an8}- For what?
- Back to School Night.
35
00:01:40,350 --> 00:01:41,768
That's for parents, right?
36
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{\an8}- Why didn't you remind me?
- Oh, is that my job,
37
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{\an8}to remind you of things
38
00:01:44,938 --> 00:01:46,981
{\an8}any moderately invested parent
would know?
39
00:01:47,065 --> 00:01:48,441
{\an8}You want me to do
your taxes too?
40
00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:49,901
{\an8}- Apply for a loan?
- Okay. Okay, Jesus.
41
00:01:49,901 --> 00:01:51,111
{\an8}Anyway, you hate that stuff,
42
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,612
{\an8}parents ogling over
their kids' art projects.
43
00:01:52,612 --> 00:01:54,531
{\an8}Yeah, I'd rather jam a knife
up my asshole.
44
00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:55,782
You're off the hook then.
45
00:01:55,782 --> 00:01:57,534
Plus, Amanda said
she'd cover for you.
46
00:01:58,868 --> 00:02:01,412
She did, huh?
47
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:02,956
You know what? I'm gonna come.
48
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:04,332
'Cause you're threatened
by Amanda?
49
00:02:04,332 --> 00:02:05,875
No, because I'm your mother,
50
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,252
and I should be there
to support you.
51
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:11,673
Fine.
52
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,133
Just promise
you won't make a scene.
53
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,801
- Uh, hello?
- And just be chill, okay?
54
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,302
I'm chill, baby.
55
00:02:16,386 --> 00:02:18,221
Chill, chill, chill, chill,
chill, chilly-chill, chill.
56
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:19,931
You have ground beef
in your hair.
57
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:28,398
{\an8}Hiya, miss.
I'm Gossy the Gopher.
58
00:02:28,398 --> 00:02:30,066
{\an8}Welcome to Back to School--
59
00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,442
If you ever touch me again,
60
00:02:31,526 --> 00:02:33,278
{\an8}I turn you
into a true crime doc series,
61
00:02:33,278 --> 00:02:34,863
{\an8}- understand?
- Mom!
62
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,406
Okay, quite a grip.
63
00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,366
I'm gonna age ten years
tonight because of you.
64
00:02:38,366 --> 00:02:39,659
- I can feel it in my bones.
- Honey, look,
65
00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:41,911
{\an8}that lady's feeding her child
like a baby bird.
66
00:02:41,995 --> 00:02:44,080
{\an8}That's Amanda,
and it's called nature bonding.
67
00:02:44,164 --> 00:02:46,457
{\an8}If you watched anything
other than Top Deer Hunter,
68
00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,376
{\an8}- maybe you'd have heard of it.
- Well, I can't wait
69
00:02:48,376 --> 00:02:50,170
{\an8}to meet this headband
with a smile.
70
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,838
Hey there, Chrissy babe.
71
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:54,591
{\an8}- You must be Laura.
- Oh, my God, I am. Hi.
72
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:56,718
{\an8}- And you must be Amanda.
- Uh, yes.
73
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{\an8}Chrissy babe won't stop
talking about you.
74
00:02:58,845 --> 00:03:00,763
{\an8}It's like she has a defect.
75
00:03:03,850 --> 00:03:05,351
{\an8}- She is the best.
- Yeah.
76
00:03:05,435 --> 00:03:06,895
{\an8}All of her teachers
think so too.
77
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:10,231
{\an8}Oh, you're-you're discussing
my daughter with her teachers.
78
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,566
How thoughtful of you.
79
00:03:11,566 --> 00:03:13,651
As a PTA president,
I make sure to communicate
80
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,528
with the teachers and children.
81
00:03:15,612 --> 00:03:17,322
I--wh-what can I say?
I love helping.
82
00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:19,407
Oh, I'm glad you have all
the time in the world to help,
83
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:20,950
what with me having
to work full-time.
84
00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,702
Oh, hon, we all work.
85
00:03:22,702 --> 00:03:24,746
But as mothers,
our real job is taking care
86
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,706
of our kids, right?
87
00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:28,625
You should come
to a PTA meeting sometime.
88
00:03:28,625 --> 00:03:31,085
We've sent you multiple
messages about joining.
89
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,962
I'll be there with bells on
when I'm done
90
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:34,923
protecting my daughter
from the dark forces
91
00:03:34,923 --> 00:03:36,507
that threaten her
and all of human existence.
92
00:03:36,591 --> 00:03:37,675
Girl, it's so great
93
00:03:37,759 --> 00:03:39,385
that you feel like
you're doing a good job,
94
00:03:39,469 --> 00:03:40,553
but Chrissy here,
95
00:03:40,637 --> 00:03:42,472
and I do feel like
I have to speak for her,
96
00:03:42,472 --> 00:03:44,057
- she wants some normalcy.
- MOM 1: Okay?
97
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- MOM 2: I say that all the time.
- Mom, don't.
98
00:03:45,892 --> 00:03:47,477
Look at the painting
she made.
99
00:03:47,477 --> 00:03:49,270
It's clearly a cry for help.
100
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,191
Have you considered
getting Chrissy therapy?
101
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,525
Oh, fuck you!
102
00:03:54,609 --> 00:03:55,985
Fuck all of you.
I'm not listening
103
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,488
to a bunch of participation
trophy moms telling me
104
00:03:58,488 --> 00:04:00,698
that my kid needs therapy
because she can't paint!
105
00:04:00,782 --> 00:04:03,201
News flash:
they all suck at it!
106
00:04:03,201 --> 00:04:05,119
None of this matters.
107
00:04:05,203 --> 00:04:06,412
Ma'am, let's chill
108
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,705
in front of the students--
109
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,332
- MOM 3: Oh, God.
- MOM 4: No, not Gossy.
110
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,292
- You're unstable.
- I don't give a shit
111
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,002
what you
and these other moms think.
112
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:14,087
Suck on my clit!
113
00:04:14,087 --> 00:04:15,964
MOM 5: Language.
114
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:19,467
Reverse ribbed condoms
115
00:04:19,467 --> 00:04:20,885
- for his pleasure.
- Check.
116
00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:22,845
Cologne that smells
like a wet dog.
117
00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:23,930
Check.
118
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:25,265
A cadaver so juiced
119
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,350
it'd make Joe Rogan
cream his pants.
120
00:04:27,350 --> 00:04:28,768
Check.
121
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:32,105
And I'm ready for another one
of Baka's bachelor parties
122
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,691
where we murder dumb humans
just for kicks.
123
00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,693
Don't give me that look.
124
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:39,195
Every week, it's Dad this,
Dad that.
125
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,405
What about the boys?
126
00:04:40,405 --> 00:04:41,864
Baka's badass.
127
00:04:41,948 --> 00:04:43,199
This is his tenth marriage,
you know.
128
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:46,244
Baka only care Baka.
And he eat every wife.
129
00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,246
These guys are
my actual friends
130
00:04:48,246 --> 00:04:49,831
who I haven't seen
in centuries,
131
00:04:49,831 --> 00:04:52,166
so don't embarrass me
with your weird snake shit.
132
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,296
- Bro!
- Baka!
133
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,464
Oh, yeah.
134
00:04:58,548 --> 00:04:59,841
Looking sharp, baby.
135
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,009
Oh, man, I missed you.
136
00:05:01,009 --> 00:05:03,011
Yo, Mabel,
had some work done, huh?
137
00:05:03,011 --> 00:05:04,512
Peeled off
a supermodel's face.
138
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:05,638
Now it's my mask.
139
00:05:05,722 --> 00:05:08,349
And Bogey, you're still--
140
00:05:08,433 --> 00:05:10,685
Unmedicated
and ready to mingle.
141
00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:12,270
Where'd you get
that human skin suit,
142
00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,147
the Micro-Penis
Men's Warehouse?
143
00:05:14,147 --> 00:05:16,190
Yeah.
I used your employee discount.
144
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:19,527
- Sitcom style banter.
- ♪ Micro-penis ♪
145
00:05:19,527 --> 00:05:21,487
And how about
this son of a bitch?
146
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,655
Tenth time's a charm,
am I right?
147
00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:23,865
Come on.
148
00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:25,700
You know I'm gonna eat her.
149
00:05:25,700 --> 00:05:27,744
- Of course you're gonna eat her.
- I'm gonna eat my wife.
150
00:05:27,744 --> 00:05:29,203
Munching.
151
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,955
Whoo, whoo!
152
00:05:31,039 --> 00:05:32,540
You finally did it.
153
00:05:32,540 --> 00:05:34,042
You birthed the Antichrist,
154
00:05:34,042 --> 00:05:35,335
- you old son of a bitch.
- That's right.
155
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:37,086
Straight shooter
right here, baby.
156
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:38,129
Strong little spermies.
157
00:05:38,129 --> 00:05:39,922
Better not get soft
on us now.
158
00:05:40,006 --> 00:05:41,841
Hell no, you dumb asshole.
159
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,217
Would a softy do this?
160
00:05:44,427 --> 00:05:45,970
I hit my own driver.
161
00:05:46,054 --> 00:05:47,430
That's pretty wacky, right?
162
00:05:47,430 --> 00:05:48,639
I'm unhinged.
163
00:05:48,723 --> 00:05:51,392
Good, because when
Maximus Dawnus begins,
164
00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,186
you boys know
what that means, right?
165
00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:54,854
- Doing badass shit forever.
- My mom's boyfriend will see
166
00:05:54,854 --> 00:05:57,273
- that I'm really not a fuck-up!
- Yeah! Back on top, baby.
167
00:05:57,357 --> 00:05:59,317
Like I was
with your moms last night.
168
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:02,320
You dirty dog.
169
00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:04,614
Oh, my God. Apologize?
170
00:06:04,614 --> 00:06:06,741
She accused me
of being a bad parent.
171
00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:07,909
You ever think
she might be right?
172
00:06:07,909 --> 00:06:10,703
- Are you fucking kidding me?
- You forget to pick me up.
173
00:06:10,787 --> 00:06:12,163
First time you come
to a school event,
174
00:06:12,163 --> 00:06:13,247
you beat up our mascot.
175
00:06:13,331 --> 00:06:14,624
That asshole needs to learn
176
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:15,792
how to respect
personal boundaries.
177
00:06:15,792 --> 00:06:17,251
You're incapable
of putting my needs
178
00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:18,669
ahead of your insane ego.
179
00:06:18,753 --> 00:06:20,713
You have no idea
how much I do for you.
180
00:06:20,797 --> 00:06:23,007
Amanda does much more
in her day for her kids
181
00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:25,218
- than you've ever done for me.
- What?
182
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,844
And you'll never be
a normal mom if you keep...
183
00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,638
Flying off the handle
184
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:30,515
at inappropriate times.
185
00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:31,933
I'm done. I'm out.
186
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:33,559
Fine. Fine. Be out.
187
00:06:33,643 --> 00:06:36,312
I'm gonna--I'm gonna stop
being angry
188
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,357
and prove to you I can be
a more normal mom than Amanda
189
00:06:39,357 --> 00:06:40,525
or any of those assholes.
190
00:06:40,525 --> 00:06:41,734
You're off to a great start.
191
00:06:41,818 --> 00:06:43,653
Normal mom throwing
a normal glass of whiskey
192
00:06:43,653 --> 00:06:45,071
at the normal wall
after being asked
193
00:06:45,071 --> 00:06:46,989
- to leave school grounds.
- Yeah. Yeah, that's me.
194
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,700
Mrs. Normal.
Normal, normal--
195
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:51,119
These are anger leeches, Darlene.
196
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:52,703
Instead of blood,
they suck out rage.
197
00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,580
I'm gonna beat those mothers
at their own game
198
00:06:54,664 --> 00:06:56,290
and make Chrissy happy
I'm her mom.
199
00:06:56,374 --> 00:06:58,418
I'm not sure
if out-momming is the thing
200
00:06:58,418 --> 00:06:59,794
to win over a teenager's heart.
201
00:06:59,794 --> 00:07:01,337
I always found
listening to be--
202
00:07:01,421 --> 00:07:02,630
All right, shut up.
Tell me a story.
203
00:07:02,630 --> 00:07:05,007
Really? Okay. Gosh.
Where do I start? Okay.
204
00:07:05,091 --> 00:07:06,759
I was talking
to my friend Darlene.
205
00:07:06,843 --> 00:07:08,511
Long story.
I was at a speed dating thing,
206
00:07:08,511 --> 00:07:10,680
and I was like, "Wait,
your name is Darlene too?"
207
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,515
And she was like,
"Hell yeah, bitch!"
208
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,392
So keep that in mind for later.
209
00:07:14,392 --> 00:07:16,102
- Get to the fucking point!
- Oh, yeah.
210
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:19,063
My chiropractor,
Seong-Mi Darlene--
211
00:07:19,147 --> 00:07:20,940
in Korean, it's also Darlene.
212
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:23,025
So there we were,
three Darlenes in a bar--
213
00:07:23,109 --> 00:07:25,069
That's the start of a joke.
214
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,280
Wow. That shit really works.
215
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:34,579
So anyways, I found out
my chiropractor was
216
00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,372
in the Magic Mike prequel,
217
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:38,040
Magic Michelangelo.
218
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,587
And so I told her,
it's called Lexapro
219
00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:44,213
not Lexa-rookie for a reason.
220
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:45,548
Hey, everyone.
221
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,800
What's, uh--what's going on?
222
00:07:47,884 --> 00:07:48,968
Oh, hi, sweetie.
223
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,721
I asked Amanda
and the other moms over
224
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:55,391
so I could... apologize.
225
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:59,562
My behavior last night
was inexcusable.
226
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,063
Uh-huh.
227
00:08:01,147 --> 00:08:02,440
Your mom told us
you vocalized
228
00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,816
your need for her to be better.
229
00:08:03,900 --> 00:08:06,777
It was your strength, Chrissy,
that's shown her she can.
230
00:08:06,861 --> 00:08:08,654
My strength?
She said that?
231
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:11,449
I understand now
that you more than anyone
232
00:08:11,449 --> 00:08:14,243
have been affected the most
by my behavior.
233
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,204
I trust you to make
your own choices,
234
00:08:16,204 --> 00:08:18,915
and I hope you will trust me
to support them.
235
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:21,542
Uh, okay.
236
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:23,169
Will you support my decision
to buy
237
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,087
those Jessica Simpson
ankle boots?
238
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:35,223
Here you are, Chrissy.
239
00:08:36,724 --> 00:08:40,102
And I'd love to volunteer
for the PTA,
240
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,730
that is, if the offer's
still on the table.
241
00:08:42,730 --> 00:08:44,023
- Of course it is.
- Sure.
242
00:08:44,023 --> 00:08:46,025
Oh, I'm here
for this moment, ladies.
243
00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:47,735
I haven't seen
this much personal growth
244
00:08:47,735 --> 00:08:49,070
since Ruby went to rehab.
245
00:08:49,070 --> 00:08:51,656
I used to eat couch cushions.
246
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:54,534
Hmm.
247
00:08:54,534 --> 00:08:56,911
She's pouring rosé,
volunteering her time.
248
00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,663
Something weird's
going on here.
249
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,331
Oh, for sure.
250
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,250
But it's working out for me.
251
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,805
Hello?
252
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,974
Harold?
253
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,392
Still polishing
our blood diamonds
254
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:20,851
at this hour?
255
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:22,186
Ah!
256
00:09:28,776 --> 00:09:31,696
Oh, it burns so good.
257
00:09:31,696 --> 00:09:33,656
Is this
an "eat the rich" thing?
258
00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,366
Are you AOC?
259
00:09:37,994 --> 00:09:39,287
Hi.
260
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:47,295
Check this shit out.
261
00:09:47,295 --> 00:09:49,547
Oh, dear, wine and cheese.
262
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:50,756
Tax havens.
263
00:09:50,840 --> 00:09:52,550
Okey dokey, artichokey.
264
00:09:52,550 --> 00:09:53,968
My turn, fuckers.
265
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,886
Time to get inside
of some meat sacks.
266
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:57,096
Oh, this is
what it's all about.
267
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:59,223
I'm tent-poling already.
268
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:00,641
Hey, look at me.
269
00:10:00,725 --> 00:10:02,059
I'm bad grandma.
270
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:03,644
I have loose hips.
271
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,479
I'm ready to fill up this hole.
272
00:10:08,149 --> 00:10:09,609
Now let's shake things up.
273
00:10:26,042 --> 00:10:27,251
The fuck, dude?
274
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,505
An incidental death
doesn't count.
275
00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:33,049
- We all know that.
- Yeah, that's true, but--
276
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:34,300
You guys keep going.
277
00:10:34,300 --> 00:10:36,552
I'm gonna go outside
and bury it, uh, a-alive.
278
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,265
What the hell
are you looking at?
279
00:10:41,349 --> 00:10:43,809
You never seen a guy stuff
a live girl in a trunk before?
280
00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:45,770
Why not kill meatbag?
281
00:10:45,770 --> 00:10:46,937
I'm saving it for later.
282
00:10:47,021 --> 00:10:48,356
Are you gonna yap my ear off
all night?
283
00:10:48,356 --> 00:10:50,775
Was just question. Sheesh.
284
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,528
You say anything,
I'll turn you
285
00:10:54,612 --> 00:10:56,656
- into a pair of snakeskin boots.
- Yeesh.
286
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,866
That was fucking awesome,
Bak!
287
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:00,242
- Yeah!
- On to the next stop.
288
00:11:00,326 --> 00:11:01,494
- Frat house!
- Yeah!
289
00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:02,745
- Whoo-hoo!
- Murder. Torture.
290
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:03,996
Let's binge-butcher
some Homo sapiens.
291
00:11:04,080 --> 00:11:05,373
- Butts. Delicious.
- Murder. Torture.
292
00:11:05,373 --> 00:11:06,874
Hey. Yeah, right.
293
00:11:06,874 --> 00:11:08,459
- Let's do this, baby!
- Tight frat butts!
294
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:12,171
{\an8}♪ Doo, doo, doo-doo-doo,
doo, doo, doo ♪
295
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,923
{\an8}Oh, don't mind if I do.
296
00:11:18,052 --> 00:11:19,387
♪ Oh, I'm in the shower ♪
297
00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:23,015
♪ I'm showering
after eating a cookie ♪
298
00:11:23,099 --> 00:11:24,975
♪ And then-- ♪
299
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,143
Huh?
300
00:11:26,894 --> 00:11:27,853
Chrissy!
301
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,313
Ah, sorry, Erwin.
302
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:30,564
I didn't know
you were doing, uh...
303
00:11:30,648 --> 00:11:31,607
whatever you were doing.
304
00:11:31,691 --> 00:11:33,526
Apologizes, Chrissy Feinberg.
305
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,236
I was just having
my biannual bath
306
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,320
when the water went out.
307
00:11:36,404 --> 00:11:37,697
Yeah. I know.
Did my mom forget
308
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:39,115
to pay the utility bill
or something?
309
00:11:40,366 --> 00:11:42,410
Your mother's been
off the grid for years.
310
00:11:42,410 --> 00:11:45,538
- She runs things her own way.
- Ah. Okay.
311
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:47,289
So how do I get
the water back on, then?
312
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:52,461
To replenish the water supply,
313
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:53,963
descend into the haunted well...
314
00:11:53,963 --> 00:11:55,673
- Whoo!
- Place rod in dirt,
315
00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:58,175
then ingest
wet, scaled vertebrate.
316
00:11:58,259 --> 00:12:00,052
- Sorry, buddy.
- Don't worry.
317
00:12:00,136 --> 00:12:01,387
Frat boys do it all the time.
318
00:12:01,387 --> 00:12:04,473
Terra Lacrimae!
319
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,102
It worked! Yeah, motherfucker!
320
00:12:08,102 --> 00:12:10,438
Oh!
321
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:25,578
Excuse me.
322
00:12:27,872 --> 00:12:30,040
Whoa. That was a lot.
323
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,542
At least the water's back.
324
00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:34,754
Your mother's been
distracted as of late,
325
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,756
so you might have to take care
of her other chores.
326
00:12:36,756 --> 00:12:38,007
Oh. Was this in your ass?
327
00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:40,801
That list is more or less
the recurring responsibilities
328
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,636
with which
I've seen her preoccupied.
329
00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:44,472
And why are you tracking
my mom like that?
330
00:12:45,181 --> 00:12:47,391
For when I escape.
331
00:12:51,562 --> 00:12:54,148
Ooh, sprinklers!
332
00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:57,151
Well, if she can do this
day in and day out, so can I.
333
00:12:57,151 --> 00:13:00,196
I'm being watered!
334
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:03,324
Oh, Amanda, you have chosen
335
00:13:03,324 --> 00:13:05,576
the exact perfect grouping
of vegetables.
336
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,912
- I know.
- Holy dick! Look!
337
00:13:09,038 --> 00:13:11,415
Laura, this is beyond.
338
00:13:11,499 --> 00:13:13,042
When did you ever
find the time?
339
00:13:13,042 --> 00:13:14,251
We're moms.
340
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,837
When do we find time
for anything?
341
00:13:16,921 --> 00:13:17,880
Am I right?
342
00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:19,507
Yas, queen. Yas.
343
00:13:19,507 --> 00:13:20,883
I don't keep clocks
in my house.
344
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,093
Come on,
us moms are passing out condoms
345
00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,221
at the make-out point,
or as the kids call it,
346
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,555
Penelope Michael's house.
347
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,224
Okay.
I'll be right behind you.
348
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:29,600
Just gotta clean up.
349
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:31,560
What is retrograde?
350
00:13:35,689 --> 00:13:37,483
Trimming the garden
is essential.
351
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,235
You dick.
352
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,445
Use hedge shears
to trim plants.
353
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:44,740
Also use hedge shears
to stay alive.
354
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:49,036
Once you've gripped the Raiju,
355
00:13:49,036 --> 00:13:51,539
you must act fast--
they eat flesh.
356
00:13:51,539 --> 00:13:53,582
Grab the current clamps
and place them on each nipple,
357
00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:54,834
and voilà.
358
00:13:54,834 --> 00:13:56,168
Electricity.
359
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,759
Who wants to see my dick?
360
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,387
All right, boys, highest
body count wins starting...
361
00:14:06,387 --> 00:14:07,763
FRAT BRO 2:
We're gonna be alive forever!
362
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:10,057
Now!
363
00:14:12,852 --> 00:14:14,144
I'd like to pledge...
364
00:14:14,228 --> 00:14:15,980
to kill every last one of you.
365
00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,023
Oh, shit, let's make 'em
chug their own blood.
366
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:19,441
Come on, Saty, do that
367
00:14:19,525 --> 00:14:21,360
organ reorganizing trick
you used to do.
368
00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,653
Give 'em butthole mouths.
369
00:14:22,653 --> 00:14:24,029
Oh, right, right,
right, right.
370
00:14:24,113 --> 00:14:25,739
One ass mouth coming up.
371
00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:27,616
Run, boys, run.
372
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:31,745
Oh, no, you don't.
373
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:34,164
All right, here we go.
Here we go.
374
00:14:34,248 --> 00:14:35,332
Come on. Come on. Do it.
375
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:36,375
Do it. Do it. Do it.
376
00:14:36,375 --> 00:14:38,252
Poke it. Just poke through it.
377
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:40,838
Poke through it.
Just poke it, motherfucker.
378
00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:44,049
I can't do it.
379
00:14:44,133 --> 00:14:45,718
I can't even kill
some soon-to-be
380
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:47,469
LinkedIn thirst trap.
381
00:14:47,553 --> 00:14:50,055
- Chug, chug, chug, chug.
- Chug! Drink that shit!
382
00:14:50,139 --> 00:14:51,140
- Whoo!
- Deep throat.
383
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,808
Deep throat. Deep throat.
384
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:53,893
Fucknabbit.
385
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,228
Yo, is this a prank, bro?
386
00:14:57,104 --> 00:14:58,063
Again?
387
00:14:58,147 --> 00:14:59,565
Didn't I tell you
to shut the fuck up?
388
00:14:59,565 --> 00:15:01,650
You get twisties,
freeze like Simone Biles.
389
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,777
Look, the devil doesn't
get twisties.
390
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:06,530
He twisties the necks
of worthless flesh bags
391
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:08,741
with his cool,
sociopathic friends.
392
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:11,952
You older now,
have fleshbag child.
393
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,622
Oh, we got
Snakey Fucking Freud over here.
394
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,789
A child could diagnose this.
395
00:15:15,873 --> 00:15:17,791
Oh, I should get
massively loaded.
396
00:15:17,875 --> 00:15:19,543
That'll help.
397
00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,961
- Whoo!
- I set a new record, dog.
398
00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:22,296
Where were you?
399
00:15:22,296 --> 00:15:24,089
Uh, I wa--I was
doing normal shit.
400
00:15:24,173 --> 00:15:26,008
Murder, et cetera, et cetera.
401
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,761
Murder et cetera?
402
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,137
- My man!
- Hey,
403
00:15:30,137 --> 00:15:31,472
there's an orphanage
up the block.
404
00:15:31,472 --> 00:15:32,806
- Yeah!
- Whoo-hoo!
405
00:15:32,890 --> 00:15:34,058
- Yeah!
- Let's fucking rip
406
00:15:34,058 --> 00:15:35,100
- some kids' hearts out.
- Slice 'em up!
407
00:15:35,184 --> 00:15:36,268
Here we go!
408
00:15:36,352 --> 00:15:38,145
I love a white wine
I can see through.
409
00:15:38,145 --> 00:15:39,188
Cheers to us.
410
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:41,023
Yes, to us.
411
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:42,358
Cheers, ladies.
412
00:15:42,358 --> 00:15:44,151
Next week, we should really organize
413
00:15:44,151 --> 00:15:47,029
a protest for organic lunches
at the school.
414
00:15:47,029 --> 00:15:49,239
Ooh! A can drive
for can-do attitudes.
415
00:15:49,323 --> 00:15:51,033
- Yes.
- Ladies, ladies,
416
00:15:51,033 --> 00:15:52,660
I polled the kids
around school,
417
00:15:52,660 --> 00:15:54,203
and they said
what they'd want most
418
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:55,829
is to go to school
without fear.
419
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:58,290
So I made them
adrenal gland calming stickers.
420
00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,416
Laura's a goddamn genius.
421
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:00,459
What did we do
before you?
422
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:01,502
I just came.
423
00:16:12,930 --> 00:16:14,640
- KID 1: Yeah!
- KID 2: Whoo!
424
00:16:16,225 --> 00:16:19,186
Enjoy it!
Youth doesn't last forever!
425
00:16:20,104 --> 00:16:21,438
She must be going
through a lot of stuff.
426
00:16:25,693 --> 00:16:28,404
Kill Antichrist.
427
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:29,947
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!
428
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,532
Whoa!
429
00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:33,951
Huh. Checkmate.
430
00:16:33,951 --> 00:16:35,661
Fucking get--
431
00:16:35,661 --> 00:16:37,663
Ah, monster of the week.
432
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:38,747
Check.
433
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,047
Mom! Mom, help!
434
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,341
Aw, my little
Chrissy Wissy Poo's
435
00:16:49,425 --> 00:16:51,093
fighting her own monster.
436
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:54,221
I wish I could help, but I have
to prepare for the potluck.
437
00:16:54,221 --> 00:16:55,764
Tear out his heart, honey.
438
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:57,349
Kill him and whatnot.
439
00:17:09,445 --> 00:17:11,989
Mom, what the fuck
is going on, and where are you?
440
00:17:11,989 --> 00:17:13,782
I could have died
a million times today.
441
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:15,117
I should be out playing.
442
00:17:15,117 --> 00:17:17,745
I'm 13, and I had to feed
toenails to a goblin
443
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,496
to get the gas back--
444
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,667
What is happening?
445
00:17:23,751 --> 00:17:24,793
Oops.
446
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,253
Should have locked
the door, sweetie.
447
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:28,338
- It's ocupado.
- What the hell is--
448
00:17:31,175 --> 00:17:32,259
You go, girl.
449
00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:35,095
GUY 1: What's happening?
Are they gonna kill us?
450
00:17:35,179 --> 00:17:36,764
GIRL 1:
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph.
451
00:17:36,764 --> 00:17:38,724
You gonna just
stand there and watch?
452
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,476
Your whole bit is
that you got arms.
453
00:17:40,476 --> 00:17:41,518
Fucking help me.
454
00:17:41,602 --> 00:17:44,730
You need help, here.
Not here.
455
00:17:48,442 --> 00:17:50,694
- What's the haps, Satan?
- Huh? Oh.
456
00:17:50,778 --> 00:17:52,821
Holy fuck.
Sweet air. Sweet air.
457
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:55,616
Hey, that's the nun you said
you were about to disembowel.
458
00:17:55,616 --> 00:17:57,826
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, I wa--I was, uh--
459
00:17:57,910 --> 00:17:59,286
And that's the teen
from before.
460
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:00,746
- Hi.
- You didn't bury her alive.
461
00:18:00,746 --> 00:18:02,956
Did you save her life?
462
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,167
Ah, fuck it.
I don't care anymore.
463
00:18:05,167 --> 00:18:07,586
- Yeah, I didn't kill her.
- Ha! I knew it.
464
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:10,214
The rumors about
the Realm of Realms were true.
465
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:14,676
Satan's turned
into a soft, little baby.
466
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,553
I'm not soft.
467
00:18:16,637 --> 00:18:18,347
I don't enjoy
this shit anymore.
468
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:20,182
Destroying realms is epic.
469
00:18:20,182 --> 00:18:22,017
These murder games
are just dumb.
470
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,102
And so are all of you.
471
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,603
I figured that out
all by myself.
472
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:25,646
Are you shit me?
473
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:27,064
You really called it, Baka.
474
00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:29,108
Satan is a huge wussy,
flabby pussy.
475
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:31,944
If you guys knew I was lame,
why did you invite me out?
476
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,530
Because, dumbass,
you're our meal ticket.
477
00:18:34,530 --> 00:18:35,906
You thought we'd been
hanging out with you
478
00:18:35,906 --> 00:18:37,741
all these centuries
because we like you?
479
00:18:37,825 --> 00:18:38,826
Hell no!
480
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,994
But if our meal ticket
is expired...
481
00:18:41,078 --> 00:18:42,121
Then it looks
like we're gonna
482
00:18:42,121 --> 00:18:44,832
have to find
another way to eat.
483
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:47,668
Agh!
484
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:49,586
Aah!
485
00:18:49,670 --> 00:18:50,796
Oh, fuck.
486
00:18:50,796 --> 00:18:53,882
To perish by the very means
I live by.
487
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,467
Oh, the irony!
488
00:18:55,551 --> 00:18:57,302
A true ouroboros.
489
00:18:57,386 --> 00:18:58,846
No!
490
00:19:04,143 --> 00:19:06,311
- How's that for soft, bitches?
- Oh, it burns.
491
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:07,855
Let's get the fuck
out of here.
492
00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,064
You drive?
493
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,107
Me drive? How come?
494
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,233
I'm being digested...
495
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:12,693
Oh, right.
496
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,403
- Right, right.
- By a fucking snake!
497
00:19:14,403 --> 00:19:15,654
Oh, that smells delicious.
498
00:19:15,654 --> 00:19:16,780
Guys, you need to go.
499
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:18,240
My mom is--something is wrong.
500
00:19:18,240 --> 00:19:19,783
What exactly do you think
is wrong with her?
501
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:21,076
And do you mind
if I record this?
502
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:22,619
Let's get her canceled.
I mean help.
503
00:19:22,703 --> 00:19:24,204
I don't care
about the stupid potluck,
504
00:19:24,288 --> 00:19:26,665
and my mom shouldn't either,
and that's why I'm--
505
00:19:26,665 --> 00:19:27,791
Hello, ladies.
506
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:31,712
- Oh, my God.
- Jesus Christ.
507
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,964
This is the grossest shit
I've ever seen.
508
00:19:33,964 --> 00:19:36,300
All of you look gorge,
per usual.
509
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,551
What are those things?
510
00:19:37,551 --> 00:19:39,094
Why are they all over you?
511
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:40,888
These are my anger leeches.
512
00:19:40,888 --> 00:19:42,389
We are all one. We love anger.
513
00:19:42,389 --> 00:19:44,183
Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, anger.
514
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,059
Mom, you have to take them
off of you.
515
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:47,644
But we are here for you, child.
516
00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,230
Your mother has given us
the gift of her anger.
517
00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:52,691
In turn, we have given her
the gift of freedom
518
00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:53,817
from her pain, her body.
519
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,652
- Aww.
- Not aww!
520
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,237
This shit stops right now.
521
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,157
- What the--
- Ha!
522
00:20:00,157 --> 00:20:02,576
This is how you've been
one-upping me, huh?
523
00:20:02,576 --> 00:20:04,286
You see this, ladies?
524
00:20:04,286 --> 00:20:05,579
She's a cheater.
525
00:20:05,579 --> 00:20:07,164
You cannot hurt us, child,
526
00:20:07,164 --> 00:20:09,124
unless you wish
to hurt your mommy.
527
00:20:09,208 --> 00:20:11,293
Do you really want to hurt her
more than you already have?
528
00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,836
Chrissy, your mom loves you.
529
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:15,297
Everything she does is for you,
including cheating.
530
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:17,299
Fuck you, Amanda.
531
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:19,092
Please, snap out of it
and be a bitch again.
532
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:21,345
You are so much better
than all of these shitty moms.
533
00:20:21,345 --> 00:20:23,180
If by better,
you mean she has
534
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:25,807
a mind-altering
substance abuse issue,
535
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:27,851
then sure, she's better.
536
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:30,520
You know what? Fuck you!
Fuck your mom!
537
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:32,898
You have no idea how I have
to take it up the tailpipe
538
00:20:32,898 --> 00:20:34,316
day in and day out.
539
00:20:34,316 --> 00:20:36,193
I do everything for every one
of my goddamn family!
540
00:20:36,193 --> 00:20:38,237
Your mom isn't better than us.
541
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:40,489
She's got it easy,
and I'd fucking kill
542
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,074
to be in her shoes right now.
543
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,455
Well, I heard your husband's
thinking about leaving you,
544
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:50,582
so you might get your wish
soon enough,
545
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,125
at least
that's what Jenny said.
546
00:20:52,209 --> 00:20:53,460
You shitting me?
547
00:20:53,460 --> 00:20:55,879
After I bought you
that rose jade quartz roller?
548
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:58,131
- I didn't ask for it.
- You fucking needed it!
549
00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:00,175
You make your son eat
out of the palm of your hand
550
00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:01,927
because he's the only thing
you can control.
551
00:21:01,927 --> 00:21:04,471
- Oh, fuck you, Jenny!
- Oh, fuck you, Amanda!
552
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,522
Chrissy, why are these cunts
in my house?
553
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:15,148
Oh, shit.
You're coming back.
554
00:21:15,232 --> 00:21:16,316
What else pisses you off?
555
00:21:16,400 --> 00:21:17,693
Let's hear it!
556
00:21:17,693 --> 00:21:19,319
My life is not my own!
557
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:21,571
Someone slap me
so I can feel something!
558
00:21:25,701 --> 00:21:27,494
I'm tired of having
to hide my anger
559
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:29,037
because it puts people off!
560
00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:31,581
Just because you breastfed
your kid until he was four
561
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:33,166
doesn't make you
a better mother than me!
562
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:36,378
I haven't slept
more than four hours in years!
563
00:21:36,378 --> 00:21:38,046
I don't even have a kid.
564
00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:39,715
I just love groups!
565
00:21:39,715 --> 00:21:41,049
I killed the family cat.
566
00:21:41,133 --> 00:21:43,260
I look at myself
in the mirror, and I punch it!
567
00:21:43,260 --> 00:21:45,429
A pumpkin is
the most basic, lazy,
568
00:21:45,429 --> 00:21:46,596
Halloween costume for a baby.
569
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,223
I want to break shit!
570
00:21:49,516 --> 00:21:50,726
Mom, help.
571
00:21:50,726 --> 00:21:51,768
There's too many.
572
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:52,936
Chrissy?
573
00:21:53,020 --> 00:21:54,229
I feel hungry...
574
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,689
for kicking some ass.
575
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:57,649
Thank God, cause this shit
really sucks.
576
00:21:57,733 --> 00:21:59,359
Get it? Ha! Not the time.
577
00:22:01,445 --> 00:22:03,322
I'm sorry
about all of this, Chrissy.
578
00:22:03,322 --> 00:22:04,990
I bet you wish
I was still nice.
579
00:22:04,990 --> 00:22:06,742
Fuck nice.
I'd take the psycho
580
00:22:06,742 --> 00:22:08,910
real version of you
over the nice one any day.
581
00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:10,203
I need you.
582
00:22:15,834 --> 00:22:17,377
Die, mothersuckers!
583
00:22:22,716 --> 00:22:24,509
Oh, that was
really something.
584
00:22:24,593 --> 00:22:26,887
Okay, everyone, please get
the fuck out of my house.
585
00:22:26,887 --> 00:22:28,013
At least you said please.
586
00:22:32,351 --> 00:22:33,894
Can I ask you something?
587
00:22:35,562 --> 00:22:37,356
We spent all night
beating up on you,
588
00:22:37,356 --> 00:22:40,067
giving you noogies,
pissing in your hat,
589
00:22:40,067 --> 00:22:41,276
and you still saved me.
590
00:22:42,194 --> 00:22:43,320
How come?
591
00:22:46,198 --> 00:22:47,366
Shit.
592
00:22:47,991 --> 00:22:49,201
I friend.
593
00:22:54,831 --> 00:22:56,583
Are you quoting Paula?
594
00:22:56,583 --> 00:22:58,210
You tacky son of a bitch.
595
00:22:58,210 --> 00:23:00,587
You're ribbing me,
you cheesy fuck.
596
00:23:04,174 --> 00:23:05,550
Your mind's in the gutter.
597
00:23:05,634 --> 00:23:07,219
Where it should be,
if you're a snake.
598
00:23:08,595 --> 00:23:10,722
♪ I take two steps forward ♪
599
00:23:10,806 --> 00:23:13,433
♪ I take two steps back ♪
600
00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:16,603
♪ We come together
'cause opposites attract ♪
601
00:23:16,603 --> 00:23:18,855
♪ And you know
it ain't fiction ♪
602
00:23:18,939 --> 00:23:21,566
♪ Just a natural fact ♪
603
00:23:21,650 --> 00:23:25,987
♪ We come together
'cause opposites attract ♪
604
00:23:26,071 --> 00:23:27,531
♪ Who'd-a thought ♪
605
00:23:27,531 --> 00:23:29,574
♪ We could be lovers? ♪
606
00:23:29,658 --> 00:23:31,326
♪ She makes the bed ♪
607
00:23:31,410 --> 00:23:34,037
♪ And he steals the covers ♪
608
00:23:37,124 --> 00:23:39,793
Captioned by Captionmax