[rhythmic tapping]
♪ Breakfast, breakfast, we are ready for breakfast ♪
♪ Breakfast! ♪
Whoo!
Great song.
Almost as great as my pancakes.
Yikes.
Oh, I'm sure they're great.
Uh, I am less sure now.
Sorry, it's been a while since I've made pancakes.
I was just trying to impress my new family.
It's okay, Chuck. We needed new coasters.
Cheers to that.
Honey, we do not drink straight from the syrup bottle.
- Since when? - Since we became a family
and we don't want Chuck and Erin to know all of our bad habits.
No judgments here.
Well, don't fill up on coaster pancakes,
because tonight, it's Saturday sushi night.
Cool, cool, it's just that Saturday night, we do pizza.
Okay, but we do sushi.
For real, though, we've missed it
these past few weekends with you guys moving in,
but every Saturday night, my dad and I do pizza.
Well, that's very sweet, but tonight we're having sushi.
- Pizza. - Sushi.
Fight! Fight! Fight!
Nobody is fighting.
In fact, these little disagreements,
you're gonna have to find a way to work them out
now that we're a family.
Yeah. You got until 5:00
to tell us what we're eating, or I'm cooking.
Easy, Dad. Nobody has to get hurt.
Yeah, we'll find a way to agree on dinner.
Well, you better, Erins.
I can't live like this!
Just have some syrup.
♪ No, we never gonna stop ♪
- ♪ I'm a little more pop ♪ - ♪ I'm a little more rock ♪
- ♪ Let's roll ♪ - ♪ Let's go! ♪
♪ When this world brings us something brand-new ♪
♪ I'm gonna stand right by you ♪
♪ It's give and take in this song we're singing ♪
♪ Yeah, to the very end ♪
♪ More than family, now we're friends ♪♪
[whinnying]
Erin!
[amplified] Erin!
[robotic auto-tune effect] Erin!
Why are you auto-tuning your name?
Actually, I was auto-tuning your name because…
♪ I wanna make you an offer ♪
Did you say "offer" or "otter"?
- Offer. - Aw, man.
Did you know they fall asleep holding hands?
I did, and it's adorable.
Now, if you agree to sushi tonight,
I'll give you the music room to yourself for a whole week.
- Pass. - Two weeks!
- Nope. - Fourteen days.
- That's two weeks. - Dang it.
Math tricks usually work on Natasha.
Listen, this is about more than just food.
If I lose Saturday pizza night,
who knows what other family traditions I'll lose next.
Whoopie cushion Wednesday, rock-and-roll Valentines,
April Fools Month!
Don't you mean April Fool's Day?
That's not what I said.
Well, my side of the family has lots of traditions
I don't wanna lose either, like Friday night jam sessions.
Let me guess… You jam on your piano
while your mom and Natasha make actual jam?
Wow, you really know us.
Look, I get it.
This isn't easy for either of us,
so how 'bout we settle this the old-fashioned way?
- Jousting on horseback? - Less old-fashioned.
- Duel at dawn? - Chill, Hamilton.
I'm thinking thumb war.
Sure. Just, wash your hands first.
No time!
[both] One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war.
Sneak attack!
I win!
No fair, you cheated!
Let's settle this with rock, paper, scissors.
Or we could play bread, sauce, cheese.
- What's that? - Pizza!
Sorry, but we're actually playing fish, rice, seaweed.
Aren't you gonna ask what that is?
- No. - Wrong, it's sushi!
[robotic auto-tuned voice] ♪ Well, it sounds gross ♪
In case you missed that, it sounds gross.
This is going nowhere. We clearly need help.
Any time I need help, I call the smartest person I know.
Hello, Erin.
Hello, Aaron.
[gasps]
Somebody's looking Dad to the bone.
Guess you're really excited for your first Daddy-Daughter Day
with your bonus daughter.
Everything's gotta be perfect.
The first Daddy-Daughter Day can make or break our relationship.
I'm sure it'll be as great as my Mommy-Mommy day.
What's a Mommy-Mommy day?
Um, it's hard to explain unless you're a mom.
She's getting her hair done, Chuck.
All right, well, call me if you need anything.
But just so you know, I get really bad reception
at the hair salon, the nail salon,
and the frozen yogurt place.
- Bye, honey. - Bye, Mom.
A toast to our first Daddy-Daughter Day.
Okay.
Mm, this taste like a melted popsicle.
Because it is! That's popsicle juice.
You know, 'cause I'm a Pop, get it?
Love the joke, love the juice.
You're on fire, Chuckles.
Well, it's not my first Daddy-Daughter Day.
In fact, I got some of Erin's old toys here.
This is Erin's first doll.
What happened to her hair?
Erin gave her a mohawk.
That's stage-diving Debbie. You wanna catch her?
No, I do not.
What else you got?
Well, maybe you like playing dress-up.
I don't like it. I love it!
Don't worry, the blood is fake.
And so is my smile.
Well, I got something in here that Erin loved,
and I know you will too.
[shouting]
I'm gonna stop you right there, Chuck.
These things may have entertained Erin,
but I have more sophisticated tastes.
Like what?
Welcome to the high life, Charles.
[slurping]
Welcome to musical therapy.
I've asked each of you to prepare a song
as a method to hear each other's inner voice.
Now, Aaron, please sing about why you want sushi
as badly as I want you.
♪ I love sushi ♪
♪ It's time to eat, so get off your little tushy ♪
♪ Fish and rice is the perfect meal for you-shi ♪
♪ Edamame for Mommy and wasabi for my homie ♪
♪ Gimme, gimme, gimme sushi every Saturday, hey ♪♪
Wow, therapists aren't supposed to date their clients,
but I think the board will understand.
Um, Dr. Viv. [chuckles]
Should I play my song now?
Oh, right. You're here.
Yes, tell us what you love about pizza.
That was a fun song, Aaron.
But my song goes a little deeper,
like a Chicago deep-dish.
♪ Pizza, you're always there when I need ya ♪
♪ When the world knocks you to your knees ♪
♪ Just grab a slice of cheese ♪
♪ Pepperoni, meatball, sausage, or bacon ♪
♪ It's more than a meal ♪
♪ It's the memories that we're making ♪
♪ I love you pizza ♪
[sobbing]
- Erin, are you crying? - Shh.
Let her work.
Um, yeah, we can have sushi or whatever.
No, Erin, I can't just sit here and watch you suffer like this.
Wait, what are you saying?
I'm saying that we're doing pizza tonight.
I'm telling your dad right now.
Breakthrough… you learned the power of musical therapy.
And Fake Tears.
You tricked him?
Yeah. It's kind of my thing.
♪ It was kinda sad to kiss sushi goodbye ♪
♪ But a whole lot sadder watching Erin cry ♪
♪ And I… ♪
[both screaming]
- What the… - Sorry.
Hunter, what are you doing here?
Erin and I were playing hide-and-seek,
and she never came to find me.
Look, I'm actually glad you're here.
- I have a problem. - Yeah, I heard your song.
You're a cry guy too, huh?
It's nice to know I'm not alone.
I was talking about girl Erin.
Pssh, yeah, I don't cry either, especially not during movies
where people and aliens become friends.
But wait, Erin cried? She never cries.
Well, we were figuring out which one of us
gets to keep our Saturday dinner tradition,
and she started sobbing.
I guess pizza means a lot to her.
Bro, there's no way. The girl was voted
Least Likely to Cry in our eighth grade yearbook.
That's a weird thing to vote on.
I bet you she used Fake Tears on you.
- How do you know? - Because there's a bottle
that says Fake Tears right there.
Fake Tears? She tricked me!
Maybe this year you'll be voted Most Trickable!
I was actually voted that at my last school.
Or at least I thought I was.
- They tricked you, buddy? - Yeah.
Anyway, if Erin's gonna play dirty, so am I.
Do you even know how to play dirty?
Not even a little.
[soft music playing]
Now, this is my idea of a Daddy-Daughter Day.
This sure is fancy.
- What kind of tea is this? - It's hot hose water.
Time for a toast, Charles.
Sure, uh, let me just pick this up with these hooves.
It's a little tricky.
Oops! Oh, I spilled the tea.
And not in a fun gossipy way.
I got it, I got it. I got it.
I…
Heavens, Charles, what have you done?
I'm sorry, Princess.
I guess I really made a mess of this magical tea party.
I would say it's okay, but it's not.
Will you give a wounded unicorn one more shot?
Let me talk to the Captain.
[Captain Cutie Pie nickers]
It was a split decision, but we'll give you another shot.
Wait.
Which one of you didn't vote for me?
I'm not at liberty to say.
Wow, look at you going all out.
It's our family's first Saturday pizza night.
I wanna make it memorable.
Already ordered the pizza and everything.
Great! But man, I can't shake the image
of you blubbering like a baby before.
I wouldn't say I was blubbering.
No, you definitely went full blubber.
And I want to make sure it never happens again.
So, I wrote up a little contract.
Sign this, and we'll have pizza every Saturday night forever.
I'm down with that!
Ha! Got you!
This actually says we're having sushi every Saturday.
That's right, I can play dirty too.
Oh, I guess you found my Fake Tears.
My bad. I just wanted to eat some pizza,
make some memories, and I lost my way.
[sobbing] There's something broken in me.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't cry.
Wait, you just used 'em again, didn't you?
I buy these babies in bulk.
I don't blame you for trying. My contract was pretty genius.
It was pretty illegal.
By tricking me into signing a contract,
you committed fraud.
This could land you in jail.
What?! I can't do time in the slammer.
I could barely handle sleepaway camp!
Plus, prison time will ruin your clean-cut pop image.
You'll never land on the Billboard charts after that.
No!
I better flush this down the toilet.
Oh, wait, no! You'll clog the house toilet.
You have to go to the gas station.
You're right. Thanks!
Go!
Daddy-Daughter Day has been a daddy-daughter disaster.
That's because we haven't tried…
wrestling!
Ladies and gentlemen…
[whinnying]
and horses, it's Papa Piledriver
going up against… What's your name?
Natasha.
You should really know that by now.
No, I mean, what's your wrestling name?
Oh, right. Princess Pain!
And she's about to give him the royal treatment.
And begin!
Papa Piledriver is the heavyweight champion
of Asbury Park, but Princess Pain
is giving him all he can handle!
[screaming]
- Now, let me have it. - You sure about that?
Yeah, throw me as hard as you can.
I can take it.
You're my witness, Captain Cutie Pie.
He said do it.
- Princess power! - [screaming]
Chuck!
- You okay? - I think so.
I can't really see. Is the porch okay?
It's not so bad.
Yeah, I was lying. It's bad.
So, what's the plan, man?
When the pizza's ready, they'll say, "Order up for Erin!"
And I'll say, "Pfft, I'm Aaron,"
which is, like, technically not a lie.
And I'll eat the pizzas to get rid of the evidence,
then take another nap at home.
You mean, my home?
He means our home. [boys shrieking]
- Order up for Erin. - [both] That's me.
Wait, Aaron, look! Charlie Puth!
Dude, she's totally lying. Don't turn around.
But what if she's not, man!
The second you turn around,
she's gonna make a run for the pizza.
I'm telling you, Charlie's not here.
You don't know that. He could be anywhere.
He's a fashion chameleon.
I already got the pizzas, bing-bongs.
Give me those pizzas!
Never! [grunting]
Sorry, ma'am.
Have a seat!
Ow!
Are you okay?
Yeah, I think so.
Good. Game on.
Order up for Charlie, last name Puth.
Yep, I got a pizza for the Charlie Puth.
I can never tell him.
[Aaron] Erin, wait!
Not a chance, man!
We are not having pizza!
Yes, we are. I tricked you fair and square.
I can run all day.
You're never getting this pizza.
Fine!
I don't even care anymore. You win.
Aw, he's making me feel bad.
Pizza will fix that.
♪ Pepperoni, meatball, sausage, or bacon ♪
♪ It's more than a meal, it's the… ♪
♪ Pizza I'm taking ♪
Tricked you! This order's to go.
[pizza splatting, woman screaming]
Mom?!
- Oh… - No.
Back home early from the salon, huh?
I don't know if it's the pepperoni,
but your skin is glowing.
Tell me, Aaron, why exactly did you throw pizza at me?
I'm really sorry, but if you wanna be mad
at anybody, it's Erin.
This all started because she tricked me into pizza.
Okay, yeah, but then you tried to trick me into sushi
with a fake contract.
Don't tell the cops. I can't do time.
Okay, I don't know what's going on between you two,
but I'm about to make my disappointed face.
Oh, no, anything but the disappointed face.
Wait, what are you guys even saying?
[Aaron] There it is.
She saw into my soul and told it I was wrong.
- What can we do to fix this? - Not my problem.
My problem is that I keep finding pepperoni
places it shouldn't be.
So, I'm gonna go back to the salon
to get de-ronied.
When I come back, there better be food on the table,
or we will never have pizza or sushi again.
Does that include pizza bagels?
You bet your butt it does.
How are we gonna get dinner if we don't have any more money?
I'll tell you how. I'm just gonna cook pizza.
Well, then I'm just gonna cook sushi.
You don't cook sushi, you make it.
So, you're already off to a bad start.
You're right. If I don't have to cook it,
that means it'll be even easier to make.
[man] Mastering the art of sushi
may be the most difficult task of your lifetime.
Lifetime?
Okay, I don't need to master it, I just need to make one meal.
Even one meal could take years to perfect.
I don't have years! I'll have to wing it.
Improper handling of sushi may result in death.
Death?!
Not as easy as you thought, huh?
Well, anyone can make a pizza.
[splat]
- Lose something? - No.
I know where it is.
It's on the ceiling.
[light hammering]
- Coated deck screw. - Coated deck screw.
- Electric screwdriver. - Electric screwdriver.
Actually, step aside. Let a kid handle this.
[screwdriver whirring]
- Boom. - That's some good woodwork!
I learn from the best.
And now, back to Daddy-Daughter Day.
If only I could find something I do well with you.
How 'bout the porch?
Ah, let the porch find its own daughter.
I'm worried about me and you.
No.
I'm saying we fixed the porch together,
and it was fun.
Wait, did we just find our thing?
Yeah.
Too bad there's nothing else to fix.
Unless…
Princess Pain returns for a rematch!
- Swing me. - You got it.
Princess power!
[screaming]
Whoo!
Best Daddy-Daughter Day ever!
[timer dings]
Aw, yeah, this is gonna be the one!
I can feel it!
[pizza sputtering]
I'm pretty sure your toppings aren't supposed to be floating.
When our family sees that, they'll be begging for my sushi.
Come on, work with me, sushi log!
[splattering] Oh!
[laughing]
Oh, you think that's funny?
Well, not as funny as this.
Hey! Mine was an accident.
But this one's not.
Oh, that's it! Time for a free delivery.
We're really doing this?
Oh… we're doing this.
Then no more Mr. Rice Guy.
Oh! Oh, say cheese!
[yelling]
- Hey, time out! - Okay.
Oh, man, my mom is gonna kill us.
We are never having sushi or pizza again.
Hey, do you think this is one of those times
where what we're fighting about
isn't really what we're fighting about?
[sighs] Probably.
I guess I just feel like there's been so many changes lately,
and I really wanted to hold on to a little piece of my old life.
Same. Instead, all we got
is this giant sushi pizza mess.
Wait. Did you just say sushi pizza?
Uh, yeah. Do you have sauce in your ear?
Yes.
But I also have an idea in my head,
and it just might get us out of this mess.
Feast your eyes on…
[both] Sushi pizza!
What am I looking at here?
You're looking at our two families
coming together for one great meal.
Not our tradition versus yours,
but a brand-new tradition for a brand-new family.
Aw, that's really beautiful.
Yeah, we're proud of you guys.
As usual, I have to be the adult.
That looks disgusting. We are not eating it.
Oh, thank you.
Yeah, we didn't want to eat it either.
This is worse than Chuck's breakfast.
Well, it was a sweet idea,
but why don't we make our new tradition
going to the boardwalk to eat hoagies?
[chuckles] Sure, except we call them subs.
Well, we call them hoagies.
Well, we call them subs.
- Hoagies. - Subs.
Should we stop them?
No, they gotta figure it out on their own.
- Hoagies. - Subs.
Hoagies.
Subs.
- Hoagies! - Subs!
♪ No, we never gonna stop ♪
- ♪ I'm a little more pop ♪ - ♪ I'm a little more rock ♪
- ♪ Let's roll ♪ - ♪ Let's go! ♪
♪ When this world brings us something brand-new ♪
♪ I'm gonna stand right by you ♪
♪ It's give and take in this song we're singing ♪
♪ Yeah, to the very end ♪
♪ More than family, now we're friends ♪♪
[Captain Cutie Pie whinnying]