(upbeat music)
♪ Can't nobody hold me down ♪
♪ I'm steady walking ♪
♪ Like I got three commas in my bank account ♪
♪ Living loud ♪
♪ So get your cameras out ♪
♪ I'd probably do the same thing if I was you ♪
♪ Looking at me now, now ♪
♪ Hmmn, put up your lights ♪
♪ And keep 'em flashing ♪
♪ Don't ever put 'em down down down ♪
♪ Look at me now ♪
♪ Let me teach you how to swing hey ♪
♪ I got that good foot moving ♪
♪ Just gotta love the way I swing hey ♪
♪ Girl move don't stop keep moving ♪
♪ Let me teach you how to swing hey ♪
♪ I got that good foot moving ♪
♪ Just gotta love the way I swing hey ♪
♪ Girl move don't stop keep moving ♪
(children laugh)
(relaxing music)
- [Judy] Wanna taste it?
- No, too hot, girl!
(knife chopping)
- Don't pick off the table, that's not good manners, okay?
Even though daddy does it.
- Lesley, the last time I fried egg rolls, they were raw.
Every Sunday, after we go to church,
we go to brunch with my family,
embracing our Vietnamese culture.
Looks good, Mom.
That's Kennedy's favorite.
My parents are refugees.
So they came over here in 1975, no money,
they didn't speak English.
I used to be a Vietnam Air Force Officer.
The war happened and the South Vietnam collapsed.
So everybody panicked and just run away.
We come United States with nothing.
So we start over with a new life.
My bonsai expensive and not coming easy.
- Yeah, but the harder the work,
the better the bonsai should be.
- My dad was working at a gas station,
and one of those big white Cadillacs pulled up.
And he told himself that, you know,
one day I'm gonna be that person driving a Cadillac.
- Is this already hot, mom?
It doesn't feel ready.
(speaking in Vietnamese)
- Okay.
(speaking in Vietnamese)
- I work like, 16 hours a day.
We were very poor.
- After that I worked for insurance company.
I make some good money and I use the money re-investment.
My main business now is banking and investment.
- Mr. Ho.
- [Binh] Yes, sir.
- Congratulations.
I heard you closed a big deal last night.
(Binh laughs)
He's been a very successful Vietnamese refugee.
He dreams big, worked hard,
made deals that nobody ever expected to happen.
- My husband, he said one day he will be rich.
He worked smart and I help him a lot,
and one day he did it.
(emotional music)
- Okay, sit, sit.
- McKinley, come with Grandpa.
- Okay.
Yeah, you stay here with Grandpa, okay?
- My dad's a very proud American.
- Get 'em, get 'em!
(guns fire)
- [Judy] He's like, I'm gonna name my sons after presidents.
My brother is named Washington.
My youngest brother is named Reagan.
- I said, "well maybe my kid gonna be
the president of the United States one day."
Why not?
- I guess we continued the tradition,
I named my children, Kennedy, Truman,
and McKinley.
Looks so good!
- I didn't have a choice
but to continue with the presidents.
- My wife didn't want to name him a normal name
because my father might forget about him in the trust fund.
- No, it's not true.
- Okay.
- [Lesley] So we decided to go with Roosevelt and Lincoln.
- Mommy!
- Truman, Roosevelt, go play with cousin.
I was a disappointment because I was a girl,
so I'm named Judy.
(upbeat music)
My mom, she's beautiful, she's a great cook,
she can kill you with one eyebrow, she's very critical.
I mean, it's hard for me to be the daughter.
♪ Who's the baddest down the flow ♪
- She doesn't approve of anybody, actually.
- [Judy] So I can't even imagine being her daughter-in-law.
Lesley, you wanna try?
(Lesley laughs nervously)
- It's Mom's way or no way.
- [Hue] No, no, no.
- [Washington] Watch your finger, honey.
I don't wanna buy another ring.
- I'm trying.
(speaking Vietnamese)
- I'm Lesley Ho.
I'm Washington Ho's wife, originally from Oklahoma.
Most Vietnamese families settled in California or Houston
because of the tropical weather.
My family happened to settle in Oklahoma
because of my grandmother's brother.
It's very country.
It's not cosmopolitan like Houston.
- She's learning, she's learning.
- She's a Ho. She's a wannabe Ho.
- When I married into this family, it was different for me.
Sometimes it feels like a fairy tale.
Like I have the perfect life.
- [Binh] Let Washington, he is the oldest son, to be in charge.
- Roosevelt, we're gonna pray, okay? Ready?
(speaking Vietnamese)
Dear Lord, thank you very much for this food.
- My family loves being American,
but at the same time, they're old-school Vietnamese
and they're very Catholic.
Those are two ideals that they expect all of us
to continue living by,
even though we were born here, we were raised here.
- Who fried the egg rolls?
- It was a joint effort.
I try to follow my parents rules
as much as I can, but sometimes it's living up to a lot.
- Hey Washington, you look at me.
I stay with your mom
forty-four years.
But one thing I regret,
I wish I can marry her 10 year earlier,
so now I got fifty-three years, not forty-three years.
(Washington laughs)
- When I married him, I didn't know that
before that, he play like...
- You mean a player?
- Yes, but...
- A playboy. - After he married,
he had kids,
and he changed a lot.
- You know what?
I have one regret about marrying my wife too.
- Twenty years earlier?
- No, I should've married her thirty years later.
(everyone laughs)
Because I would be happy for the next thirty years.
- Oh, god.
- Just kidding babe.
- Washington nickname is (speaks Vietnamese).
A bullshit (laughs).
Washington is called Bullshit Ho.
- You be lucky you're married.
- Yes.
- He's lucky? Am I lucky?
- You're lucky and he's lucky, too.
- The Vietnamese community is kind of broken down
into the regions that you were from.
My family is Bac, so Bac people are more proper.
They are more conservative.
Washington's family is (speaks Vietnamese)
The only thing I know about (speaks Vietnamese) people
is that they're supposedly more frugal.
- This is to Dom Perignon.
- Washington's family is definitely not frugal.
- Oh, it's a party. - God.
- And they're very outspoken.
I mean, they're just in their own little culture.
They're Ho's.
- Let me pour some, some confession juice.
Everyone's gonna confess
after they drink the confession juice today.
- Washington is in a very special role,
in that Washington is the oldest son in the family.
That means that everyone in our family looks upon Washington
to carry on our legacy.
- Uh Judy, will you go get some watermelon?
- Growing up as a daughter in a Vietnamese family,
there's a sense of duty.
You have to make good grades, be a doctor or lawyer.
So I chose to be a lawyer.
You have to be married and then you gotta have your kids,
and then just continue the traditions
that you grew up with.
But as you grow older,
maybe you want to do things differently.
At the same time,
there's a lot of guilt and shame sometimes
when you choose your own path,
because it's not necessarily what your parents want.
So I have an announcement
that I want to share with everybody.
- Okay.
- Uh, I think that you guys have noticed that I've been unhappy
and Viet hasn't been present at family events.
So I've decided to file divorce.
(solemn music)
- As a Vietnamese culture,
when a woman marry, she belong to the husband family.
When she get a divorce, it's a curse.
That's what we believe.
In our culture, that's the way it is.
- Me and the kids are gonna move out.
- I think I am very sad to hear that,
my main thing about how to make
you and your kids happy.
- Thank you, Dad.
- I don't mean I support that.
- Things haven't improved,
so it's not like I woke up one day and decided this.
But it comes to a certain point when you realize
that change is not coming,
and you have to decide for yourself and for your kids
that there's a better way.
I don't want this for them,
but I believe that it will be better.
- In our religion,
God put you together,
and I don't want a separation.
So you told me to support that?
No, I won't!
- Yeah, but you have to understand
that marriage requires two people
who show up every day and make sacrifices.
If the other person doesn't do that,
that is not a marriage.
- She needs your support.
And that doesn't mean you have to disagree or agree,
you just have to be there for her.
- I'm not against that,
but I cannot support that either.
- Okay.
I hope that my parents look back and realize that you know
they raised someone that they can be proud of,
but I can tell my family is disappointed in me,
and it's hard.
(solemn music continues)
- [Child] Mommy, mommy!
(hopeful music)
- [Judy] Oh, uh, uh, that's gonna spill.
Let's just do this for now, okay buddy?
I thought y'all just ate. Why are y'all so hungry?
- [Child] Mommy look, a baby!
- You want Fruit Loop or you want chocolate chip?
Right now I'm going through a divorce
and I am living with Washington with my children.
We'll finish it and then I'll get you more,
but I don't want to waste it.
And I'm hoping to move into my new home,
but my new house isn't done renovating yet.
It's been working out.
Me and Lesley have gotten closer
since I've been living here.
- Mom, gimme (cries).
- What? You have one, hey.
(child cries)
- Y'all crazy today.
- The upside of Judy living with me
is that I have a girlfriend to talk to.
Roosevelt and all of his cousins get to play along together.
They go to the same schools.
- Who's ready for slime? Raise your hand.
- [Kids] Me! Me!
- [Judy] Okay.
- [Lesley] This is probably the only time
you'll ever get to do it is when Judy was here, huh?
- I did it! I did it!
- Are you gonna miss this when I move out?
- [Lesley] All this slime?
- Yeah!
- No.
- Look how self-contained it is. - Yeah, make sure it
doesn't stain this, okay?
- That's what bleach is for.
- You don't bleach your kitchen island.
- Why not?
- This is like a pure rock.
You don't do that to, it ruins it.
- It'll be fine. Where's Wash?
- Um, I think he's supposed to be coming home soon.
- Some help would be nice.
♪ Oh no ♪
♪ What's going on here ♪
♪ My world is turned around and I'm upside down like ♪
♪ Oh oh ♪
(car engine revs)
(kids fussing)
- McKinley you wanna share some of the pink?
- [Judy] Share.
- [Lesley] Can we share? - [Washington] Hello.
What?
- [Lesley] How was work?
- Oh, it was, it was good.
- [Judy] Yes.
- God.
- What?
- So messy.
- This is not even that messy.
- [Washington] Can we just being normal?
- This is normal.
- It's like, no it's not.
- You know what would be abnormal,
if it was super clean all the time with five kids.
- Yeah.
- [Judy] This is normal.
- That's too much, Mommy.
- Like what the...
Judy being here has created a lot of chaos.
- Who farted? I don't know.
- [Kids] Me!
- Truman farted. He loves to fart.
- She's got three kids, you know.
I feel bad, but I cannot focus when I have my sister here.
- Earlier he called me, and he was like,
"I'm gonna pick up the kids in the McLaren.
Do they need a car seat?"
- That's my husband.
He thinks it's a good idea to go through the carpool lane
in a two-seater European car with four kids.
Can you imagine the look on the teacher's faces
when they open the door?
- I mean, father of the year award.
- Honey, what do you want to do with all these boxes?
They all say Judy's name, I don't know why they're here.
- That's all mine?
- [Washington] I'm just gonna put it over here.
- Okay, that's fine.
- Yeah.
- Judy, Judy.
- Judy, I love you,
but I can't wait till you get out of my freaking house.
- Honey?
- Huh? - You know how we're
switching out all the brass?
All the hardware came in today.
- Can't we just get like, some professional to do it?
- To screw something in?
- Yeah, if I do this by hand,
like my hand will fall off if I do this whole kitchen.
- It will ruin his manicure Lesley.
- Yeah. - Oh my god.
- I can do it. It's just gonna take forever.
- God.
- Here, you got overtime.
- Overtime?
- I have overtime.
- So that means you're gonna pay me extra? (scoffs)
I wish Judy could find a guy like me.
She'd be so happy.
- I would be just as happy as Lesley is.
- I'm gonna leave both of y'all here
to celebrate like peace and freedom.
- [Lesley] Freedom?
- Sometimes I need some air.
- God.
- This fish that has to jump out and get some air,
like a dolphin.
I go out, go have a drink or two,
(car engine revs)
see what happens.
- [Lesley] You brush first and then mommy brush?
Yeah?
- I need a change.
- Okay, I'll change you.
You know Washington goes out a lot,
and you know, it's part of his business.
Okay.
He always says, "to make money, you gotta spend money."
So he takes his clients gambling and drinking,
and there's clubs, and there's sparklers,
and there's Magnum bottles.
You know, so it's not a typical nine-to-five.
(phone rings)
- [Voicemail] Your call has been forwarded
to an automatic-
- I'm just not there anymore.
You know, I used to party, but it's just not my thing.
You know, so I stay home and I take care of the kids.
(phone rings)
- [Voicemail] Your call has been forwarded
to an automatic voice message-
- But you know, that's part of his job.
And he happens to love it.
So I guess, you know, kind of what I signed up for, right?
(upbeat music)
- I love my new house.
When my dad first showed it to me,
"oh, what do you think of this house?"
I was like, "oh, it's nice."
He was like, "I'm gonna get it."
He plans this path for you,
and you don't even realize that he's doing it.
And you know, most people say,
"oh, I'm thinking two steps ahead."
My dad is thinking 10 steps ahead.
He's been so successful in his business life
that he wants to apply that to the way he runs his family.
Hi dad.
- Good morning.
- Oh.
It looks good, but there's still a lot of work to do.
- I'm shooting for two weeks.
- Okay. - You can start to
move furniture, so you need to ready for that.
- I'll book the movers for two weeks.
I can see you put a lot of work and time into this.
Good thing you only live over there so you can walk here.
- That a positive or negative?
- Uh...
(Binh laughs)
- I'm happy when your kids move in this house.
- Oh, not me?
- They don't make choice, you had choice.
- Originally, my house was supposed to be
for my ex-husband and I, and our three kids.
And it didn't work out that way.
For the first time, I'm alone.
I have three children by myself now.
I'm living with my brother.
I'm relying on my parents for support again.
And you know, it's been humbling.
- Wow, your house looks good Judy!
- You think so?
- Good job.
- Why are you wearing sunglasses inside?
- Because I'm just trying to look cool.
- Oh, it's very on-brand, Washington.
- Did you happen to put my dry cleaning somewhere?
Because I've been wearing the same sweater
for two days already.
- You're not baby anymore.
- Thank you.
- I don't have no time for you.
Okay, I have to go.
- Bye Dad.
- Thanks Dad.
Wow, I really like your house though.
Look at these walls.
- [Judy] Dad picked these walls.
- What made you approve dad's choices?
- I didn't approve.
Dad's the man. He does what he wants.
- Right.
(mellow music)
- [Lincoln] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yay, yay.
- Hi, I'm Lesley, I'm calling from the
pre-authorization department.
- Yay.
- I just need to verify with the nurse
on a patient's date of birth.
I'm a pharmacist.
I worked my butt off in school,
so I wasn't just going to marry into a family
and not work, and rely on my husband.
You know, that's just not who I am
and that's not what I'm about.
Roosevelt, be careful.
Hey, stop. Let her play.
You know, growing up in Oklahoma,
my parents had two Chinese restaurants,
and they worked from 6:00 AM to 2:00 AM.
And I really learned the value of a dollar.
(Lincoln chatters)
Shh! Mommy's making calls.
Okay, that's what we have on file.
I have a doctorate in pharmacy.
I went to school for 10 years.
And when I first told his parents that,
they were like, "oh, I thought it was a four-year degree."
No. Yeah, people do call me Doctor.
- Hey Mommy.
- Who's gone? - She won't share this.
- Okay, let her play with it first, that's hers, okay?
Being a full-time working mom is a lot of pressure.
I mean, sometimes I'm pulled in a million different ways.
(kids fussing)
I have a lot on my plate.
So naturally, it's very stressful for me.
- Licoln and Mommy.
(mellow music)
- Where's everybody?
Judy!
- [Judy] I'm coming.
- Oh my God. What are you wearing?
- What's wrong with what I'm wearing?
- Go get change.
Where are you going, church?
- Happy hour, you look like you're dressed for the club.
- Come on, come on. - But-
- You can do better than that.
- Okay.
- What the hell are you wearing?
- Okay, okay, I'm changing.
- I don't want them to think that you are my mom.
Come on, loosen up, girl.
I know how to party.
Every Wednesday, 4:00 to 7:00, is my birthday.
Doesn't matter what week, rain or shine.
Every Wednesday is my birthday.
Ah, I love the shoe, my god.
I thought you gonna wear flats again.
I forgot to tell you about it.
- Okay. That's enough.
I don't want them to see my bra.
- No, not right away. Just like that.
You got boobs, you got legs,
You can walk with a high-heel shoe,
do it, use it.
I do it as long as I can.
When you walk, this thing gonna fly around.
- No, it's not.
- [Tina] Show some leg.
- [Judy] I did.
You're paying right?
- [Tina] Yeah.
- [Judy] Okay, then I'm good. - [Tina] We're not gonna pay.
Don't worry about that part. Come on.
♪ It's okay to get crazy ♪
♪ Get crazy, get crazy ♪
(jazzy music)
- You wanna sit here?
Now that I'm divorcing my ex-husband,
of course the first person who wants me to start dating
is Aunt Tina.
But my parents are not ready to see me out and about
and enjoying my new life.
They think I should still be grieving my marriage.
- If you try 1942 straight, oh my god.
- It's a lot of calories when you drink cocktails.
- Girl.
- You've been doing it for 30 years.
Of course your system breaks down the alcohol.
- Oh my god, you serious?
- [Kara] Hi ladies.
- Hi.
- Ah, we both gonna try the Annie margarita.
- Okay. - Now do you have a 1942?
- I do. We can do that.
- Yeah, would you do that for me please?
- Sure, absolutely. - Thank you.
- Do you have any Pepcid?
You know I need that.
I turned so red without it.
Pepcid AC is a lifesaver for us Asian people.
I'm not the same as you. - I know, I know, I know.
That's why I bring it for you, hello.
- We get super red when we drink
and it looks like we're sunburned.
Looks like birth control.
- Me? Need a birth control?
No way, Jose.
(Judy laughs)
We don't need that.
My nickname is Hot Mess.
I can get drunk and get knocked out, throw up,
and then I go home and sleep for 15,
lay down for 15 minutes, wake up like,
act like I never have drink.
- I do know that about you.
- We have a biggest family ever.
We have 11 sibling total.
I have six sister, me is the seventh,
and none of them drink.
To new Judy.
- I like new Judy.
- Yay.
Stir it up a little bit more.
- Oh my god.
- It's strong?
- Whoo!
- My other sisters, they look at me like, are you crazy?
Tina, you're not supposed to do that.
I say, "is anybody die yet?"
- What do you think about the guys here?
Anybody for me?
- Three o'clock.
- Not really my type.
- Have you dated a Caucasian before?
- Dated? No. I've slept with one, but not dated.
They were just kinda boring.
- Asian people don't do shit for you either.
I didn't ask you to marry him, hello!
- But it should be someone I look and I should be like,
"I want to sleep with him," right?
- No.
(Judy laughs)
- Hey, Kara, you know what that guy is drinking?
- Yes.
- Maybe we buy him a shot too, so he can take shot with us.
(Judy laughs)
- Okay. - Cheers.
- Cheers. To new friends. - For making new friends.
- 1942.
- [Man] Mm.
(Judy laughs)
- So are you um, single?
- Pretty much. - Oh nice, nice, nice.
- I'm divorced. Are you divorced too?
- Um, I'm actually uh, single.
- Woo, woo, woo!
- Why so much hesitation when you answered that?
- Uh... - High five girl.
We are single tonight.
- I got out of a relationship, so I'm kind of
- Ah, newly single. - getting back out there.
- Okay, let's cheers.
- Now what's the purpose of this one here?
- New friends.
- There we go, there we go.
- You get her phone number yet?
- Uh, working on it right there.
Thanks for the help there,
forgot about the phone number part.
- When the girl says "yes" it mean no,
when girl say "no" it mean yes.
- What the hell?
(man laughs nervously)
We're in the Me Too movement.
- That's very risky right now, with this era, yeah, yeah.
- [Producer] Hey Tina,
have you heard of the Me Too movement?
- Me Too movement?
I think it just, it's all, it's me too.
It's not just all about you.
It has to be including me.
- So you don't mind, I'd love to have your number.
- Yeah, 7-1-, 7-1-3-
- I always say, "me time, that's it."
They don't know, this is me time.
I do it, I do it for me.
I mean like, if I'm not happy,
nothing is going to happen.
That's me.
- [Producer] Nice.
- [Judy] Just ask for Washington. He's my assistant.
- Oh, okay.
♪ One foot in front of the other ♪
♪ They do it all by themselves ♪
- The designer sent all the samples,
so I have to choose between those two
and then kids' room, or play room.
- So cute.
- What do you like?
- This is cute for the playroom. I like it.
- Since I've been living with Washington,
I've really been enjoying my life as a single woman.
At the same time,
I feel like Washington wants me to move out
sooner rather than later.
But Leslie seems to enjoy it.
You know, she can talk to me about my brother
because I understand him better than most people.
You think Washington will miss having me here?
Probably not, right? - No.
You being here, we're like college roommates or something.
- Oh.
- You know what I'm saying, like girl talk.
You know we have girl talk.
- Yeah?
- But he wants to be included in the girl talk.
Remember how he tells you like,
"you're supposed to be my best friend, not Lesley's"?
- Yeah, uh-huh. - And then to me he's like,
"you're supposed to my best friend, not Judy's."
- So he's playing both sides.
- The first thing you ever said to me, you said,
"Washington is the biggest manipulator."
- No, I- - A master manipulator.
- I said, "You seem pretty smart.
What are you doing with my brother?"
- I know. I asked him afterwards.
- And what did he say?
- He went to your mom and talked to her.
- Of course, see.
- And then she got all upset, and like,
"why would she say that about her brother?
What is she talking about?"
- You know my mom's the worst person to go to
when it comes to Washington.
He can do no wrong in her eyes.
- I know.
- But he gets drunk and then she'll, "who was he with?
Who bought the drinks?"
- And he's the one pouring it.
- Yeah.
- When I first met Washington,
he was a charismatic guy that just lit up the room
when he walked in.
You know, he was so friendly and made me feel so comfortable
and we would just laugh.
And I really did feel like Cinderella you know,
my carriages were limos and champagne and nice dinners.
It felt like we were soulmates, like we were friends,
like we'd been together for so long.
- So do you feel like there's two versions of Washington?
- I feel like there's the good dad, the good husband,
and then there's that outside persona that he tries to be.
Because it's part of his business, right?
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - Like he's a businessman and
I get that he has to take clients out and he has to be
that person and then that loud person.
- When he turns into the diva
and wears the sunglasses indoors, that version?
- The obnoxious one.
- Yeah.
- Washington really hasn't had to be responsible
about anything in his life.
Whatever businesses he started were fully funded
by my father.
There's a lot of things he's done that are questionable.
Some of them revolve around finances in our family.
- Happy fourth, to all you Ho's out there.
- When he was single,
every day was like a bachelor party.
You know, I'm the one that gets those 2:00 AM calls
from Harris County jail.
I have the bail bond guy on my speed dial.
You know, that's my way of trying to shield my parents.
- I don't ever know which version I'm gonna get.
So I don't buy liquor for the house and I don't buy wine.
- He seems better, like without the alcohol around the house.
- I love him without alcohol,
and maybe one drink or so and he's fine,
but then it can kind of escalate a little bit.
- Hey.
- Hi.
- You're all dolled up.
- Thank you. Where's Wash?
- Uh, I think he's still upstairs.
- Wash!
- You look cute. Where are you going?
- Thank you. We're gonna go do some networking.
- Sammy Finch is my little cousin.
Her mom is my dad's younger sister.
She's Washington's assistant.
- Where are you guys, what are you guys gonna do?
- We're gonna play some poker.
- Poker?
- Poker. - Okay.
- My poker face, baby.
Uh, I wouldn't consider me his assistant.
- I didn't know about it.
- He didn't tell you?
- No.
- I would be a shitty assistant
because I don't really assist him at anything.
I'm more like sidekickin'.
Looking fly.
- [Washington] What you think, honey?
- Yeah. (laughs sardonically)
- Gonna take Sammy with me.
- Mm-hmm.
- She's gonna help me do some marketing.
She got some-
- You weren't gonna tell me about your poker?
I didn't know about it.
- I'm working. I told you last week.
- I do not know that you told me last week.
- Really, I'm sorry.
- I don't want you to be sorry.
- Would you like to talk about it?
- I don't need to talk about it.
- Well, um, call me if anything happens with the kids
or y'all need me.
- [Lesley] Okay. - I'll be right down the street.
- Behave.
- Thank you very much for letting me go to work.
- Oh my God.
- (sighs) So glad I'm divorced.
(Lesley laughs)
♪ On the phone in the jungle ♪
♪ On the phone in the streets ♪
♪ I'm in the Lambo ♪
♪ I'm in demand hoe ♪
♪ Pull up shoot my shot like Rambo ♪
(car engine revs)
♪ Got my shirt off and my chains on ♪
♪ Pull off do a 100 yeah I'm too gone ♪
(car engine revs)
♪ Yeah I run the town and everybody know it ♪
♪ I'm so flashy so everybody focused yeah yeah ♪
♪ Whoa ooh ooh ♪
♪ Yeah yeah ♪
(group exchanges greetings) - Hey! What's up man? (laughter)
- I'm fine. How are you? Good. - Hi. How are you doing?
Good to see you.
- Damn, we're playing big tonight, huh?
- What's up my man? Always good.
- My uncle has a lot of money.
And Washington being the oldest son, he has that angel money
to invest in ideas and opportunities.
- What you drinking?
- Whatever you're drinking.
All right, has everybody got their money ready or what?
- Always.
- He just has to come up with a plan.
He presents it to his dad, and his dad either says,
"okay, yes, we'll invest in that,"
or no, he won't.
- What's your buy-in? What are you?
- Sammy?
- They buy-in? 30.
- 30k, 30k.
- Let's go, we don't play.
- Cheers bro. - [All] Cheers.
- I'm gonna take all your money, but that's all right.
- Daddy wants a return though,
so when he doesn't, my uncle's just probably
thank God he didn't give him more than that.
- My family. - Appreciate it.
- Now let's get fucked up and make some money.
(Wine trickling)
- What is your sex personality?
I prefer my partner to be kinkier than me,
about the same, tamer than me, or no preference?
- About the same.
- Not kinkier?
- No, I'm kinky enough
for both of us. - You are?
- I'm a Ho!
- How often do you prefer to have sex?
- Oh my god. - Three to five times a week,
five to seven times a week,
one to three times a week or less, several times a day?
- Three to five.
- [Lesley] That's a lot.
- Is it?
- Five times a week? That's one every day.
I thought Judy was always a little more uptight,
but she's more loose and laid back
and a little more kinky than I thought.
Have you ever been part of a Chinese finger trap?
What is that?
- I don't even know what it is, so no.
- Have you ever had a true one night stand?
- Yes, spring break. Doesn't everybody?
- No, not me.
- [Judy] Hmm.
- Okay. Have you ever had sex while having,
ugh, on your period?
- Oh yeah.
Yes?
- Yeah.
(esthetician laughs)
- Ugh. That's so messy.
Well of course, you let your kids play with slime.
Doesn't surprise me. - Oh yeah, there's a
correlation there.
- Doesn't surprise me.
Do you like to be spanked during sex?
- Yes.
- Oh, okay, you got very vanilla.
- I believe it.
- Really? That's vanilla?
- What would you be? Even below vanilla?
- I'd be bland.
- [Judy] Oh, I could see that. - Jeez.
- Oh, Lesley. - I know.
- So Oklahoma.
♪ I'm at it again ♪
♪ The most haters back and they hatin' again ♪
♪ I gets money ♪
- Ready!
Washington's job is to look like he has a job.
- Oh, yeah. - Are you in?
- [Player] All right.
- You in, you out?
- I'm out.
- I'm gonna go all in.
(chips clatter)
Schmoozing goes with boozing,
and I love the boozing and shmoozing.
(players chatter)
- [Player] He's all in, let's turn 'em over,
and see what you got. See what you guys got.
- Oh, man.
- Y'all are fucked.
- Jack two.
- Ah, man, it is what it is.
- I play to win. I don't play to lose.
- See Wash is back, baby.
- The truth is, my dad was a playboy,
my grandfather was a playboy.
It's always gonna be in my blood.
Washington, oh Washington.
I am the only one that cares about the Ho legacy.
- [Man] Cheers guys.
- I'm not driving home.
You can't go into County like this
and then come out with the Hermes rag suit can you?
Only Washington Ho could though.
- What did you think of Washington
the first night you met him?
- It was in Vegas was when we got to know each other.
He was good in Vegas, he wasn't drinking.
- What made you finally decide to move here?
- Because I was living on Washington.
- Oh, okay.
- And then I got a job offer on Washington and Houston
and I was dating a Washington.
So I thought it was a sign from God.
- Seriously?
- Yeah (laughs).
- I don't know if it was enough to like
move to another city for a guy, that's a lot.
- I know, but we just had a connection.
- And you never thought about moving back?
- No.
(introspective music)
- You know, I think Washington's been talking to my mom,
because she told me that she thinks you're a tryrant
when it comes to Wash.
- Me?
- Yeah.
- A tyrant?
- Mm-hmm. You know she has her own opinion about you,
and who knows what Washington is feeding her.
- I know.
- He has his version. The one that caters to my mom.
- I wish he would just tell her, like, I'm not a tyrant.
Like that's so, our culture back in the day, you know,
like Vietnam.
- She's old-school.
- Like all the women just serve the men and that's it.
- Yeah, I know, Washington's used to that.
- Yeah, but we're in America.
- I know.
- She has to understand that we're modern women.
- Do you think he defends you
or do you think he goes with it?
- I hope he defends me.
You know, Wash and I got married and we said our vows.
- I Washington, take Lesley, to be my wife.
- I thought that I had met my Prince charming.
And I just thought what every girl thinks, you know,
you just want to live happily ever after.
- Because I mean, once you get married
your wife and your husband should be your priority.
- Right. - Even over your parents.
- You shouldn't just keep your mouth shut.
You shouldn't just have to change yourself
to make a marriage work.
And now I'm just wondering
maybe happily ever after is only in fairytales.
(crickets chirping)
- It's part of the contract of being a Ho.
You have to be able to withstand private jets.
Mom, she's gonna throw up.
- No, I have anxiety right now. - Oh, okay.
You'll be fine.
- Stop talking.
(Judy laughs)
♪ I can do this all day ♪
- [All] Whoo!
♪ I make it look easy ♪
- I just need to finalize this divorce.
- I'm not ready yet.
- Because they're hoping that I'll go back to that?
- What does he know? He just a man.
- We think you need to have sex.
- Oh, I'm having sex.
- When the divorce happen, kids always suffer.
- She have boyfriend too early.
- Who cares?
- I'm so indebted to him,
and he's not afraid of reminding me of that.
- Cheers.
- You need a little bit more.
- With the bow.
- Ho.
- My mom meets Lesley one time.
She's like, "if you marry Lesley,
you don't owe me and dad nothing for the rest of your life."
- Should that be on TV?
- I'm a spoiled rich kid.
♪ What is a modern love song ♪
- When we started this project
we had a secret in our marriage.
And my greatest fear is that
it's gonna tear my marriage apart.
My tongue?
- Stick it out. - They fight, they crazy.
- I'm not crazy.
The only people that know the truth is you and me.
- You're my first wife.
I hope you're my only wife.
(Lesley sniffs)
- That's my whole life, look at it from the front.
- Thank you.
Everything that looks good from the outside,
but the inside is just so hard.
♪ I'm gonna rock this house like no one before ♪
- Everybody say Ho!
- Ho!
♪ I'm gonna stand up, stand up ♪ - Oh my God.
- Whoo! - All right, whoo!
♪ Light it up, light it up ♪
♪ This is my night ♪
- Give me your hat.
I think your hat's good luck.
- Woo hoo!
- It's not the whole truth.
- Put a polka dot on there. There you go.
- It's the Ho truth.
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Make it rain, make it rain ♪
♪ I don't care 'cause it's all the same ♪
♪ I'ma make the best of any situation ♪
♪ Make it rain, make it rain ♪
♪ I don't care I'ma be happy ♪
♪ No you can never rain on me ♪
(orchestral fanfare)