1 00:00:41,560 --> 00:00:43,080 Are you joking? 2 00:00:43,120 --> 00:00:44,920 Have you not got anything smaller, Stewart? 3 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:46,080 No. 4 00:00:57,400 --> 00:00:58,400 HE SIGHS 5 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:00,400 You know, for a bloke with a wallet full of 50s, 6 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,760 you don't seem too happy. You don't want to talk to him. 7 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:05,880 He's thrown in with that lot. Bloody collaborator! 8 00:01:05,920 --> 00:01:08,200 I will speak to who I want, Steven Parry. 9 00:01:09,640 --> 00:01:13,160 I should have just said no, kept my head down. 10 00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:15,920 Now this lot think I'm a scab and the other lot think I'm useless. 11 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,600 Well, you are. 12 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:21,200 Well, yeah, but I've never really had a species look down on me 13 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,680 as a whole, you know? 14 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:24,200 It doesn't feel great. 15 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:25,640 Sorry, mate. 16 00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,240 Just ignore him. 17 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:30,560 They're just bored 18 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,160 because they can't bury their heads in Instagram. 19 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:34,720 PATRONS GROAN AND GRUMBLE 20 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:42,080 Of course. 21 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:43,480 Thank you. 22 00:01:43,520 --> 00:01:45,160 What?I'm going to buy you a drink. 23 00:01:45,200 --> 00:01:48,960 I'm going to get everyone a drink. Ah! Get lost, scab! 24 00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,680 Your money is no good here! 25 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,080 Shithouse! 26 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:56,120 Three pints of bitter and six bags of Wotsits. 27 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,560 And some chilli peanuts. 28 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:00,080 We blow up the internet. 29 00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,720 I love it. Let's go. 30 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,200 No, I mean, not literally blow it up.Oh. 31 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:06,120 I mean, we post a video...No. 32 00:02:06,160 --> 00:02:07,360 ..across social media...No. 33 00:02:07,400 --> 00:02:09,480 ..on the internet.No. 34 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,960 No, no, no, no. We are not turning that back on. 35 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:13,040 Why? 36 00:02:13,080 --> 00:02:15,240 Because you have to control the flow of information. 37 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:16,480 Yeah, but you're not. 38 00:02:16,520 --> 00:02:19,440 There's gossip and radio, and most of the telly is back on. 39 00:02:19,480 --> 00:02:22,920 Now, look...Let him speak. Let him speak. 40 00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,040 Look, you turn the internet back on and you can use it 41 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:26,400 to get your message out there. 42 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,320 You could have your own channel, or personal accounts, you know, 43 00:02:29,360 --> 00:02:30,880 show people what you're really like. 44 00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:33,400 You could have one, you could have one. 45 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:35,520 He could have a YouTube channel. 46 00:02:36,960 --> 00:02:39,280 ELECTRICITY CRACKLES 47 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,120 OK, you get the idea. 48 00:02:42,880 --> 00:02:46,520 But trust me, people miss the web. You know, really. 49 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:49,000 Just switching it back on makes you look good, you know? 50 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,400 And plus, it's free. You can do it today. 51 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,360 You wanted an easy win - this is it. 52 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:56,920 Hmm! 53 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:59,960 I would like to go on the record as saying this is a terrible idea. 54 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,240 OK. 55 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:04,480 But the record is just becoming you saying that about things. 56 00:03:07,080 --> 00:03:08,440 Hmm. 57 00:03:09,640 --> 00:03:11,680 What?Nothing. Nothing. 58 00:03:11,720 --> 00:03:14,640 Think I was just expecting something a bit more high-tech. 59 00:03:14,680 --> 00:03:15,960 Ah. No. 60 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,200 We like to keep the interface simple. 61 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:22,040 That does all the hard work. 62 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:23,840 If you say so. 63 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:25,840 Sorry? 64 00:03:25,880 --> 00:03:28,720 Well, it's not exactly high-spec. 65 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,320 Well, it's about ten times more powerful 66 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,240 than computers on Earth, 67 00:03:33,280 --> 00:03:37,760 and I mean ALL computers on Earth combined, so... 68 00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,240 Will it run Call Of Duty? Of course it won't run Call Of Duty. 69 00:03:40,280 --> 00:03:42,400 It's not designed to run Call Of Duty. 70 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,040 What's Call Of Duty? 71 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:47,360 It's a first-person warfare simulation game. 72 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:49,760 Well, these helped us take over your planet, 73 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,880 so we won an actual war, an interplanetary war, using this. 74 00:03:53,920 --> 00:03:57,840 Just saying. The graphics card's not great. 75 00:03:57,880 --> 00:03:59,600 So, flick of a switch 76 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,280 and we're going to have something up in the socials in no time. 77 00:04:03,320 --> 00:04:06,040 Gordan, authenticate the order. 78 00:04:07,320 --> 00:04:09,520 COMPUTER WHIRS 79 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,640 BEEPING, COMPUTER POWERS DOWN 80 00:04:11,680 --> 00:04:14,200 What the...? 81 00:04:14,240 --> 00:04:15,960 Problem? 82 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,480 Password? 83 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,440 Oh, yeah. I set you up with network logins, for security. 84 00:04:20,480 --> 00:04:22,600 Security? 85 00:04:22,640 --> 00:04:25,320 Our login is our DNA. 86 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:26,600 Exactly. 87 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:29,560 You just needed something a bit more secure. 88 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,480 Ah, Trater. 89 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:36,720 So, your password is capital J, seven, four... 90 00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:38,120 You should write this down. 91 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:40,600 ..ampersand, nine, underscore... 92 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:45,640 Was that an upper case i or a lowercase L? 93 00:04:45,680 --> 00:04:47,920 How did you get to the moon? 94 00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,160 PHONE CHIMES 95 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:08,880 WOMAN MOANS PLEASURABLY 96 00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:10,360 Oh, yeah! MAN GRUNTS 97 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,200 HE LAUGHS 98 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:21,520 NAIL GUN CLACKS 99 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:26,160 What is that? 100 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,440 OK, can I get some levels? 101 00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:32,120 Just say some words. 102 00:05:32,160 --> 00:05:34,720 CHATTER IN BACKGROUND Um, violin. 103 00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:37,840 All right.Cat. Bermuda. 104 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,880 NAIL GUN CLACKS Argh!Marmalade. 105 00:05:39,920 --> 00:05:41,760 Ah!Oh, mate... 106 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,000 Argh!Argh!Ah! CLATTERING 107 00:05:44,040 --> 00:05:45,040 Argh! 108 00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:46,200 GROANING 109 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,920 Hermit crab.I'm OK. 110 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:54,760 HE GROANS My foot!Jesus. 111 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,240 Is he all right? 112 00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:59,040 Yes, knowing our luck. 113 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:00,840 OK, so, are we good to go? 114 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:02,560 I mean, once we've, you know... 115 00:06:02,600 --> 00:06:04,720 Yeah, I think we're, um... ..tidied all this up. 116 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,720 ..good when you are. 117 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:08,200 CAMERA BEEPS 118 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:10,360 So, whilst the low-orbit super weapon 119 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:12,200 is still in a constant state of readiness 120 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:14,400 and trained on all of you all of the time, 121 00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:17,080 we want you to think of us as your friends. 122 00:06:17,120 --> 00:06:18,920 And that, for now, is that. 123 00:06:18,960 --> 00:06:20,400 For now. 124 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:23,480 So, it's goodnight from all of us at Central Command, 125 00:06:23,520 --> 00:06:25,000 or, as we say on my planet... 126 00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,560 Ah, well, they've already translated it. 127 00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:31,480 So, goodnight. 128 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:33,920 CAMERA BEEPS 129 00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:36,480 Well, I think that broadly worked. It worked. Disseminate it. 130 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:40,200 Yeah. Yeah. Or...was it not just a bit long? 131 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,240 And again, the thing with the hands... 132 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:44,200 Disseminate it.Yeah. 133 00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,880 It's my mother's birthday today. Hmm. 134 00:06:47,920 --> 00:06:50,360 How old is she? One and a half aeons. 135 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:53,920 1.5. That's a good innings. 136 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:55,960 Bloody black spots. 137 00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,600 Is she celebrating at all, or...? Good grief, no. 138 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,480 Hey! It's uploading. 139 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,120 Now we just, um, wait. 140 00:07:04,440 --> 00:07:08,440 Well, a good day, I'd say, all in all. 141 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:11,000 Well done, Stewart. 142 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,920 The drinks got on me, as I believe you say. 143 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:16,160 Thank you. Um... 144 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,840 Actually, you haven't got anything smaller? 145 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:25,480 A tenner for two drinks. One is for you. 146 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,720 Keep the change.Oh, you seem jolly. 147 00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,520 Yeah, a better day. A bit better, I think. 148 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,680 I saw the video.Yeah. 149 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:34,840 Didn't go exactly to plan, but... SHE LAUGHS 150 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:36,040 It didn't look planned. 151 00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:37,080 No. No. 152 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:39,320 But, you know, if it gets the message out there, 153 00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,280 then that's really what it's about. Behind that, were you? 154 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,080 Uh, yeah. 155 00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,600 But not...not... 156 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:48,840 Brilliant. 157 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:51,320 Seriously, just brilliant. 158 00:07:52,760 --> 00:07:54,320 Yeah. 159 00:07:54,360 --> 00:07:56,920 Yeah. Thanks. Great. 160 00:07:56,960 --> 00:07:58,360 Man of the moment, eh? 161 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,360 Yeah, I'm a pretty big deal. 162 00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:05,360 Well, then maybe I should be buying you a drink. 163 00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:08,080 Seriously?What? 164 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,480 Well, it's just that I've been coming here for nine years - 165 00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:11,840 five if you're the police - 166 00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:13,560 and you've never once given me a free beer. 167 00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:17,800 Well, maybe I'm starting to see you in a different light... 168 00:08:19,320 --> 00:08:20,680 ..Stewart Connelly. 169 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,480 Are you coming up? 170 00:08:31,520 --> 00:08:33,920 I don't know. You've had a drink. Maybe I shouldn't. 171 00:08:33,960 --> 00:08:35,800 All right, I'll put this another way, right? 172 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,400 You're coming up. 173 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:40,760 OK, yeah. Great.Yeah? Yeah, great.Yeah. Come on, then. 174 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:42,200 Fuck.Stewart! 175 00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:43,600 Sorry. Sorry! 176 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:44,760 Come here. 177 00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:46,800 Let me just... I've always liked you, Elodie. 178 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:48,440 Yeah.Even in primary school. 179 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:49,600 Yeah.Um... 180 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,080 THEY GROAN IN DISGUST 181 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,520 What the hell is going on? 182 00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:55,120 INDISTINCT MURMURING 183 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:57,200 We'd like a word with you, Stew. 184 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:00,360 Sorry. 185 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,680 The AAA. 186 00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:09,640 "Yay, yay, yay"? 187 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:13,320 No, the AAA - Anti-Alien Alliance. 188 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,080 What's that? 189 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:17,600 It's our logo. 190 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:20,280 It's like an alien but it's also got three As on it. 191 00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,160 There's only two.No, no. 192 00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,200 There's a little one where the big ones intersect. 193 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,720 I don't think it work...It works! 194 00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:30,520 Christ! 195 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:34,080 Anyway, sorry about all the cloak-and-dagger stuff, 196 00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:36,240 but we had to get you alone. 197 00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,520 So, what, you were just pretending to drink?No. 198 00:09:38,560 --> 00:09:40,400 You just have a very low tolerance. 199 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:43,800 She's just a concerned human. We all are. 200 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,480 OTHERS MURMUR IN AGREEMENT 201 00:09:45,520 --> 00:09:47,720 Those bastards killed a lot of people. 202 00:09:49,040 --> 00:09:50,360 They blew up my country. 203 00:09:52,320 --> 00:09:54,680 They murdered my nan. 204 00:09:54,720 --> 00:09:56,360 My nan's sister. 205 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:57,600 Your great-aunt? 206 00:09:57,640 --> 00:09:58,840 No! 207 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:00,480 Why do people keep saying that? 208 00:10:00,520 --> 00:10:04,840 Right, my great-grandmother is my nan's mum, 209 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,480 so why would her sister be my great-aunt? 210 00:10:07,520 --> 00:10:08,720 THEY ALL ANSWER AT ONCE 211 00:10:08,760 --> 00:10:10,960 No, just shut up! 212 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,720 Christ! 213 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:15,640 The point is, we're fighting back. 214 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:19,520 And we need a man on the inside. Or a woman. Or a woman. 215 00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,520 But it just so happens you're a man... 216 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:24,360 ..as we saw. THEY LAUGH 217 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:26,840 Though, to be clear, we are an equal-opportunities militia. 218 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:31,880 Look, I'm sure you're a great resistance, 219 00:10:31,920 --> 00:10:34,440 doing some great resisting, 220 00:10:34,480 --> 00:10:36,600 um, but I just don't want to get involved. 221 00:10:36,640 --> 00:10:38,160 No, no. 222 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:39,480 You already are, mate. 223 00:10:39,520 --> 00:10:42,760 No, the job is temporary. I was blackmailed. 224 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,320 Well, I wasn't blackmailed. Uh... 225 00:10:45,360 --> 00:10:46,880 I mean the video. 226 00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:49,800 You already struck the first blow. HE LAUGHS 227 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:52,880 That bit when the light came down, I pissed myself. 228 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,160 THEY LAUGH What? 229 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,520 Yeah.So good. 230 00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,640 GREGGS SCREAMS, CLATTERING 231 00:10:59,680 --> 00:11:01,920 THEY LAUGH 232 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,800 Fuck. 233 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:05,640 Fuck. I've uploaded the wrong file. 234 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:08,160 Shit. I've got to go. I've got to go. 235 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,320 Can someone give me a lift? 236 00:11:14,360 --> 00:11:15,640 OK. 237 00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:20,360 Yeah, here's fine. Yeah. 238 00:11:20,400 --> 00:11:22,960 Here's fine. I'll just get off. Yeah. Here's fine. 239 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,680 Yeah, thanks. Thank you. Yeah. 240 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:27,720 We'll be in touch. 241 00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:30,160 Uh, don't. There's no point, so... 242 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,200 Uh, yeah. No, thank you. Psycho. 243 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,520 Hey, come on. That's it. You've got this. 244 00:11:35,560 --> 00:11:37,640 HE STRAINS There we are. 245 00:11:40,040 --> 00:11:41,680 HE SHRIEKS 246 00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:43,520 Greggs! 247 00:11:43,560 --> 00:11:45,440 There's been... 248 00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,240 I think I'm going to take a break, 249 00:11:47,280 --> 00:11:49,560 you know, for a bit, just get away for a few... 250 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:57,320 We'd like to have a word with you. 251 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:11,800 INAUDIBLE SPEECH 252 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:17,560 It's all very well saying... whatever it is you are saying, 253 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,240 but you have humiliated us, 254 00:12:19,280 --> 00:12:21,800 and we really can't have that, can we? 255 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:23,640 What is he saying? INAUDIBLE SPEECH 256 00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,840 I think he's saying "accident". 257 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,880 Or "excellent". 258 00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:29,640 I don't think he'd be saying "excellent". 259 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:32,320 He is, like all of them, saying whatever he thinks 260 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:35,720 will stop me pressing "eject", which is futile. 261 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,240 You played us for fools, Stewart. 262 00:12:40,280 --> 00:12:41,920 This cannot stand. 263 00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,040 What? 264 00:12:43,080 --> 00:12:44,240 Right. 265 00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:45,560 Let's do this, shall we? 266 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,800 Are we absolutely sure about this? 267 00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,480 I mean, it's just, up to this point, 268 00:12:49,520 --> 00:12:52,200 Stewart seems to have been a pretty standout specimen. 269 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,280 INAUDIBLE SPEECH I like you, too. 270 00:12:54,320 --> 00:12:58,760 He's undermined your command. We must be emphatic in our response. 271 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,000 Yes, true. 272 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:02,400 INAUDIBLE SPEECH 273 00:13:02,440 --> 00:13:04,280 I might just turn around, though. 274 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:05,880 Oh, yeah. 275 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:07,480 Likes. INAUDIBLE SPEECH 276 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,120 HE CHUCKLES 277 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,520 Oh. Oh! Um... 278 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:12,920 What? 279 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:15,400 I think people like it. 280 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:25,240 "TBH, they seem like a bit of a laugh, LOL." 281 00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:28,400 "Perhaps they not all W-@-nkers." 282 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:30,880 "Nkers"? Look, the numbers are going up. 283 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:33,280 Why would anyone like this? INAUDIBLE SPEECH 284 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:38,080 They're mostly stupid, the people, 285 00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:40,720 and this makes us look stupid, 286 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:44,960 so maybe it somehow helps us seem more human. 287 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,520 INAUDIBLE SPEECH 288 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,160 Perhaps... 289 00:13:48,200 --> 00:13:50,040 Perhaps he's still useful after all. 290 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:02,520 LOUD THUD 291 00:14:02,560 --> 00:14:03,840 HE RETCHES 292 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:11,320 Does anybody want that, or...? 293 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:20,080 Is there a way to have the frothy one 294 00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:23,560 without anything issued from the teat of a living mammal? 295 00:14:23,600 --> 00:14:27,040 Oat milk.Oat. Yes, please. 296 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,800 Ooh, and a bap. 297 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,640 Um... 298 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:34,000 Tell me about stil-ton. 299 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,520 What is wrong with them? 300 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:45,760 SHE CLEARS THROAT 301 00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,280 Morning. 302 00:14:53,360 --> 00:14:56,600 You look a bit peaky. Yeah. Got a hangover, so...Mm. 303 00:14:58,440 --> 00:15:00,560 Also, someone tried to flush me into space. 304 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:07,680 Different trousers? 305 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,240 Yeah. 306 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:11,320 Someone tried to flush me into space. 307 00:15:14,240 --> 00:15:15,640 ELEVATOR CHIMES 308 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:17,120 Ah, there you are. 309 00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,720 It would appear we have gone "viral". 310 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:23,560 That's TikTok, Insta, Facebook, top trend on Twitter. 311 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:27,760 YouTube's at 18.9 and counting. So, that's good? 312 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:31,480 Well, it's no Gangnam Style, but a solid Charlie Bit My Finger. 313 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,080 It's good. 314 00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,040 Your Majesty. 315 00:15:37,080 --> 00:15:39,840 Um, OK. 316 00:15:39,880 --> 00:15:42,280 Someone from ITV. 317 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,120 Is that...? Is that good? 318 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:47,040 Bits of it. 319 00:15:47,080 --> 00:15:49,040 UPBEAT MUSIC, AUDIENCE CHEERS 320 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,720 We are live, ladies and gentlemen! 321 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,400 That's right, we are back, 322 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:56,400 and tonight we have our first guest from an entirely different species. 323 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:57,520 AUDIENCE CHEERS 324 00:15:57,560 --> 00:15:59,600 Well, at least since Nicolas Cage came on the show. 325 00:15:59,640 --> 00:16:00,880 AUDIENCE LAUGHS 326 00:16:00,920 --> 00:16:04,880 So...have you travelled far? 327 00:16:07,080 --> 00:16:08,960 Right. We all good in here? 328 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,480 Everyone knows the running order, yeah? 329 00:16:11,520 --> 00:16:14,080 Your lot, are they OK?I'm not... 330 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,480 We're not... 331 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:17,200 No, we're fine. Thank you. 332 00:16:17,240 --> 00:16:19,280 Oh, actually, can I just check? 333 00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,560 Am I right in thinking I'm on 334 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:25,560 after Wet Pocket Feat EZ Rydas? 335 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,200 Uh, you?Mm-hm. 336 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:31,600 Look, the booking was only for the one actually in the video. 337 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:33,240 Yes, that's me. 338 00:16:33,280 --> 00:16:34,880 No, the other one. 339 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:36,120 Oh. 340 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,400 HE SIGHS 341 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:46,360 Surely it's still good for PR. 342 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:50,320 Have you even met him? No, we're not the enemy. 343 00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,720 Right. We're rulers.Yes. 344 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,480 Well, no, we're in charge. Not... Not rulers. 345 00:16:55,520 --> 00:16:57,040 I mean, we're not overlords. 346 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:00,720 Well, we are, but it's a partnership. 347 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:02,040 Right. 348 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,320 Yeah. Equal partners. Well, not equal. 349 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:05,520 We've got the big gun. 350 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,520 But don't mention the gun.Right. 351 00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:10,640 I think underline... Now, you listen to me. 352 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,600 You screw this up... ..and a fresh approach... 353 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:14,520 ..I'll make you wish you'd never been hatched. 354 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,000 I don't care.....to all the things they do that are so stupid. 355 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:18,960 But don't say "stupid". Don't call them stupid. 356 00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:21,880 ..through a black hole, time itself will be sucked... Maybe unevolved. 357 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:23,920 ..out of your anus... No. Backward. Oh, no. 358 00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:27,480 ..inside out, again and again... Focus on progress. 359 00:17:27,520 --> 00:17:30,160 I think you should just be yourself, you know? 360 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,720 They're just...people. 361 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,880 Just picture everyone naked. I think that's what they say. 362 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,040 TRATER AND GORDAN CONTINUE TALKING OVER EACH OTHER 363 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,440 OK, we're three minutes out, 364 00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:40,960 so if you could all just leave him to make-up. 365 00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,680 Yeah. 366 00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:44,080 Thank you. 367 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,680 Uh... 368 00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:49,720 You got this, mate. 369 00:17:51,320 --> 00:17:52,720 Thanks... 370 00:17:54,240 --> 00:17:55,680 ..mate. 371 00:18:03,160 --> 00:18:06,760 So, it's safe to say you've had a very interesting week, 372 00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:08,000 have you not? 373 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:09,440 Yes. 374 00:18:09,480 --> 00:18:11,160 Uh, no. 375 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:13,440 Have I not? 376 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:14,720 No, I have. 377 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:16,080 COUGHING IN AUDIENCE 378 00:18:16,120 --> 00:18:17,400 Can you repeat the question? 379 00:18:17,440 --> 00:18:20,360 I'm just saying that your face has been everywhere this week 380 00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:21,600 with that incredible clip. 381 00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:23,600 Ladies and gentlemen, have you seen the video? 382 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:25,960 AUDIENCE:Yeah! THEY CLAP 383 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:28,640 What we all want to know is, how did that come about? 384 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,720 I shot myself in the foot. 385 00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,120 LAUGHTER 386 00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:34,520 What are the chances? 387 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,560 Well, I've shot a lot of things before, 388 00:18:37,600 --> 00:18:39,240 but never me. 389 00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,560 LAUGHTER 390 00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,280 Mainly people. AUDIENCE GASP 391 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,880 When we arrived, I shot quite a lot of people. 392 00:18:47,920 --> 00:18:49,280 AUDIENCE EXCLAIM, WHISPERING 393 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,800 Right. 394 00:18:50,840 --> 00:18:52,160 Yeah, about that, 395 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,480 do you think the video has changed public perceptions 396 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:56,240 of you as a species? 397 00:18:56,280 --> 00:19:01,800 I suppose it's made us seem less scary and more stupid. 398 00:19:01,840 --> 00:19:03,600 Not stupid. 399 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:07,760 No. No, we can be stupid. We shouldn't call you stupid. 400 00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:11,640 You're backward. AUDIENCE EXCLAIM 401 00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:14,280 You should be naked. 402 00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:18,800 Can I see you naked? 403 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:20,280 SHE GASPS 404 00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:21,520 I've got a gun. 405 00:19:21,560 --> 00:19:24,680 Don't mention the gun. Shit. Left it on my desk. 406 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:28,520 That's all we have time for, ladies and gentlemen. 407 00:19:28,560 --> 00:19:30,880 Let's all give it up for Greggs...here. 408 00:19:30,920 --> 00:19:32,440 Yeah. SCATTERED APPLAUSE 409 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:33,680 Is that your real name? 410 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,400 Uh, no. No. 411 00:19:35,440 --> 00:19:36,760 Actually, my real name is... 412 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:38,040 BOTH:No! 413 00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:40,880 FLATULENCE AND SQUELCHING, AUDIENCE SCREAM 414 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,520 OVER VIDEO CALL: I mean, what the hell?! 415 00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:45,680 I know, I know. It was... It was non-ideal. 416 00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,480 You made us look like big bag of cocks. 417 00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:51,080 SHE SPEAKS ANGRILY 418 00:19:51,120 --> 00:19:52,360 Yes, I know. 419 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,960 It reflects on us all, and it has been dealt with. 420 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,760 But it keeps happening! 421 00:19:56,800 --> 00:20:00,440 Well, I mean, we felt that... I mean, what we thought... 422 00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,320 Um, what we felt, um, PR... 423 00:20:02,360 --> 00:20:06,120 I think what Premier Trater is trying to say 424 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,960 is we greatly regret this sorry episode 425 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,960 and are placing tighter controls on the dissemination of information 426 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,680 and, well, everything. 427 00:20:13,720 --> 00:20:17,200 SHE SPEAKS ANGRILY 428 00:20:17,240 --> 00:20:18,920 Well, starting... 429 00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:21,960 Um, now! SHE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY 430 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:24,000 Right now. 431 00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:31,840 It wasn't his fault. 432 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:35,840 I know, but we can't look weak. 433 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:39,360 Where there is weakness, there will be people to exploit it. 434 00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:42,040 But we've already won, remember? 435 00:20:42,080 --> 00:20:44,080 Have we? 436 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:46,200 What's that? 437 00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:48,560 Is that...? Is that two As? 438 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,200 I'm not sure, but it's everywhere. 439 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,480 Best guess, rebels. 440 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:58,200 But what do they want? To take back control. 441 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:08,560 Oh! 442 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,440 Jesus Christ! 443 00:21:10,480 --> 00:21:13,840 How did you get in? Back window. It was open. 444 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,760 THEY ALL SPEAK AT ONCE No, it wasn't.It wasn't.Hey? I broke in. Sorry.Oh, right. 445 00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:19,840 Apparently, we smashed the window. Oh. 446 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,880 THEY ALL SPEAK AT ONCE Hey?I broke a vase. 447 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,880 Oh. 448 00:21:23,920 --> 00:21:25,040 And we broke a vase. 449 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,920 I did say we should wait in the van. 450 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:30,000 What do you want?Information. 451 00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:32,360 Rumour has it you've been to the mothership. 452 00:21:32,400 --> 00:21:34,360 Yeah, they were going to throw me out of it, 453 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,960 if that's what you mean. Yeah, but you've seen the inside. 454 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:39,480 Yeah, only of an airlock. They'll have plans. 455 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:41,640 Oh, what did you say, pantsuit? 456 00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:44,560 Uh, they'll have floor plans to the mothership 457 00:21:44,600 --> 00:21:46,400 saved in the system. 458 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,800 He has access to the system. 459 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,040 I recognise you. 460 00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:51,680 Were you in Line Of Duty? 461 00:21:51,720 --> 00:21:53,000 I... 462 00:21:53,040 --> 00:21:54,840 I was the Minister for Defence. 463 00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,240 That's right. In Line Of Duty. 464 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:58,400 In the government. 465 00:21:58,440 --> 00:21:59,720 Yeah, well, not any more. 466 00:21:59,760 --> 00:22:02,840 You're just here to observe, so pipe down. 467 00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:06,720 But, yeah, you will need to get us those plans. 468 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,480 How? 469 00:22:08,520 --> 00:22:09,680 Why? 470 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,160 Because if we can get a complete technical readout of the ship, 471 00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:17,800 we may be able to find a weakness... and exploit it. 472 00:22:17,840 --> 00:22:20,280 There may be a small thermal exhaust port 473 00:22:20,320 --> 00:22:22,320 that leads directly to the reactor core. 474 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:26,320 A precise strike could start a chain reaction. 475 00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:30,320 Isn't that the plan from Star Wars? Uh, I don't think so. 476 00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:32,320 It sounds really similar. It definitely is. 477 00:22:32,360 --> 00:22:35,760 Well, I-I haven't seen Star Wars, so it can't be. 478 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,080 All I know is we've got to show these blue bastards 479 00:22:39,120 --> 00:22:42,480 that they can't just waltz in here and make themselves at home! 480 00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:52,560 Hello. Don't mind me. Just going to my room. 481 00:22:52,600 --> 00:22:53,800 Oh! 482 00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:57,280 What a day, Stewart. Honestly. It dragged and dragged. 483 00:22:57,320 --> 00:22:58,800 Hi. 484 00:22:58,840 --> 00:23:01,200 Hi. Hi. 485 00:23:01,240 --> 00:23:02,840 Hi. 486 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:08,720 It's not... It's not what it looks like. 487 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,440 They moved... They moved him in, so I didn't have a choice. 488 00:23:11,480 --> 00:23:12,880 Sorry. HE CHUCKLES 489 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:17,360 Me again. Hello. Um, Stewart, sorry. 490 00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,480 Who's this? 491 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:20,800 This is... 492 00:23:20,840 --> 00:23:23,160 These are mates. 493 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,680 Mates? Cool! 494 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:28,840 Hello. I'm... I'm Greggs. 495 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:31,520 I'm... I'm Stewart's mate. 496 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:36,000 Wade. Wayne! No, no. Dan. Dan. Yeah, Dan. 497 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,720 OTHERS:Dan.Danny.Daniel.Daniel. 498 00:23:40,760 --> 00:23:44,160 Anyway, we should be heading... No, don't be daft. 499 00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,520 No. No, no, no, no. Stay! Stay! No, really... 500 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,320 No, no, no, no. You must... You must have a drink. 501 00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:51,600 We're all... We're all mates here. 502 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:55,640 I think I've got a bottle of Arcalien still somewhere. 503 00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:58,160 No, really, we should be... Oh, no. Shush. 504 00:23:58,200 --> 00:23:59,680 No, really... We should be...Sh. 505 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,440 No, no, no, no, no! 506 00:24:01,480 --> 00:24:03,200 He's living in the bloody house! 507 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:04,720 Don't. Don't. 508 00:24:06,880 --> 00:24:10,080 Oh, no.Honestly, we need to be... We... 509 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:12,840 Oh, come on.No, no...Just one. 510 00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:15,680 Ooh! 511 00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,240 We like one each. 512 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:18,960 Yeah.Really?No, no. Honestly... 513 00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,040 Honestly... Trust me. 514 00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:22,720 One each. 515 00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:25,240 Stew? Stewart?No.Your funeral. 516 00:24:25,280 --> 00:24:27,800 Uh, no. I'm not...OK. Oh, OK. 517 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:32,000 Well, right, to mates.To mates. 518 00:24:36,560 --> 00:24:38,000 Eugh!Eugh! 519 00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,920 That's...Eugh!Oh, no, that's absolutel... 520 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,520 DANCE MUSIC PLAYS # I like it a lot... # 521 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:43,200 Argh! Hoo-hoo! 522 00:24:45,440 --> 00:24:47,520 IN SLOW MOTION: What did you do? 523 00:24:47,560 --> 00:24:49,280 HE LAUGHS 524 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,000 DANCE MUSIC PLAYS 525 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:55,560 DANCE MUSIC STOPS 526 00:24:58,840 --> 00:25:01,720 There's no music.Ah! 527 00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:08,200 What is this stuff? I'm not talking to you. 528 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,480 Why? Cos of your stiffy? 529 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,200 No. Because you lied. 530 00:25:13,240 --> 00:25:16,240 I did what I had to do. The world's changed, Stewart. 531 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:17,720 We've been invaded by aliens. 532 00:25:17,760 --> 00:25:20,160 Oh, I didn't spot that. 533 00:25:20,200 --> 00:25:23,800 It's just, they're trying to live alongside us peacefully. 534 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,880 So why are they in charge, then? I don't know. 535 00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:29,800 But we are where we are, and there's no point crying about it. 536 00:25:29,840 --> 00:25:30,920 We're not crying about it. 537 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:33,480 We're fighting back. Well, leave me out of it. 538 00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:36,440 I don't want to take sides. It's not about taking sides. 539 00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:38,360 It's about standing up for what's right, 540 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:39,840 and if you can't see that, 541 00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:41,800 then I have to wonder who's side you're on. 542 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:43,040 I wouldn't... 543 00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:45,960 I own a pub, Stewart. I think I can handle it. 544 00:25:49,720 --> 00:25:51,000 SHE COUGHS 545 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:54,120 Whoo! 546 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,480 Come on, dance with me! 547 00:25:56,520 --> 00:25:58,760 There's no music.Dance with me! There isn't any music. 548 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,560 Come dance with me! There isn't any music. 549 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:01,640 Oh, fine. 550 00:26:06,120 --> 00:26:08,360 I think she wants to be mates - 551 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:13,320 not mates like we're mates, but, like, mate-mates. 552 00:26:13,360 --> 00:26:16,200 She wants you to spray her eggs... 553 00:26:16,240 --> 00:26:17,880 All right. Yeah, yeah. 554 00:26:19,480 --> 00:26:21,880 Is this stuff OK for humans to drink? 555 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:25,760 What? 556 00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:27,200 Oh... Ah! 557 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:29,400 Can you please put that somewhere safe? 558 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,800 Yes, I know...Gordan. 559 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:33,040 Overreaction. 560 00:26:34,040 --> 00:26:35,080 Ah! 561 00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:36,800 Jesus, relax, man. Relax. 562 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,520 It's all good. Forget what I said before. 563 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,480 Forget it. Forget all about it. 564 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,440 You know... Pff! Gone. 565 00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:46,280 Oh, really?Yeah.Oh, good. 566 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:47,600 Thank God... 567 00:26:47,640 --> 00:26:51,960 ..until tomorrow, when you're going to give me those plans! 568 00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:53,440 Your little blue friend there is 569 00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,800 going to learn all about the sort of people 570 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,360 that you like to pwarty... party with. 571 00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:02,240 "Pwarty with"?Party with. Party with. Party with! 572 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:03,480 But not for now. Not for now. 573 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:05,120 No, no, no, no, no. Enjoy the night. 574 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,080 Have a drink. Go crazy. All right? 575 00:27:07,120 --> 00:27:08,880 I don't think I'm going to have a drink. 576 00:27:08,920 --> 00:27:11,520 You should really try some of that alien shit. 577 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,160 Really messes with your concept of time. 578 00:27:14,200 --> 00:27:15,320 HE LAUGHS 579 00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:25,720 Oh, fuck. 580 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,160 MUSIC: Where's Your Head At by Basement Jaxx 581 00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:32,760 CHEERING AND LAUGHTER 582 00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:35,800 Whoa! 583 00:27:39,240 --> 00:27:41,080 Am I already here? 584 00:27:41,120 --> 00:27:42,320 Yeah. 585 00:27:42,360 --> 00:27:44,280 LAUGHTER AND CHATTER 586 00:27:46,240 --> 00:27:47,920 When did we get chips? 587 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,800 CHEERING AND LAUGHTER 588 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:53,960 DISTANT AND DISTORTED CHEERING 589 00:27:55,160 --> 00:27:59,240 # Don't let the walls cave in on you 590 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:02,480 # We can live on Live on without you 591 00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,640 # Don't let the walls cave in on you... # 592 00:28:04,680 --> 00:28:06,320 HE LAUGHS What are you doing here?! 593 00:28:06,360 --> 00:28:07,680 LAUGHTER BECOMES DISTORTED 594 00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:09,560 # We can live on Live on without you... # 595 00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:10,920 HE WHIMPERS 596 00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:12,400 Argh! Argh! 597 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,400 We should get chips! 598 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,040 CHEERING 599 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:23,040 # You turn the world away from you... # 600 00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:25,040 ALL:Surprise! 601 00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:27,960 # Where's your head at? 602 00:28:28,000 --> 00:28:31,280 # Where's your head at? Where's your head at? # 603 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:32,560 MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY 604 00:28:39,040 --> 00:28:40,640 PHONE VIBRATES 605 00:28:48,520 --> 00:28:49,600 Oh! 606 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,560 Right. My turn. 607 00:28:56,400 --> 00:28:59,200 OVER LOUDSPEAKER: This is a Territory 78 announcement. 608 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:01,360 Entry only given by DNA... 609 00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:03,400 Halt. Who goes there? 610 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:07,040 "Who goes there"?That is what they say. That is what they say. Never heard one say that. 611 00:29:07,080 --> 00:29:08,840 Oh...Sorry, what's going on here? 612 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:11,200 New security protocols. Gordan's orders. 613 00:29:11,240 --> 00:29:12,560 There's a list and everything. 614 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,080 What, seriously?Yeah. No, it's all been tightened up. 615 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:17,440 He's got us on double shifts. No-one's happy about it. 616 00:29:17,480 --> 00:29:20,080 We wanted to go to Cromer today. I really want to see a crab. 617 00:29:20,120 --> 00:29:21,680 Yeah.But why? 618 00:29:21,720 --> 00:29:25,160 Well, I heard that they walk sideways 619 00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:28,000 and they've got these snippy little fingers that they use...No. 620 00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:29,440 No. Why all this? 621 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:34,480 This is a bit awkward, eh? You're not cleared. 622 00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:36,160 I can't... I can't tell you. 623 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,200 I'm adviser to the Premier. 624 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:42,320 Yeah, well, according to this, your security clearance is green. 625 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:45,320 So...Red.What?He's red. 626 00:29:45,360 --> 00:29:47,160 No, that's what I pointed at. There. 627 00:29:47,200 --> 00:29:49,880 That's red.That is green. 628 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:53,280 Look at it.Are you colour-blind? Well, I just... 629 00:29:53,320 --> 00:29:54,960 How are you seeing green? Do you know...? 630 00:29:55,000 --> 00:29:56,880 Yeah. Can I just...? Can I just...? 631 00:29:56,920 --> 00:29:59,280 Yeah, sorry. Sorry. I'll just squeeze past you. 632 00:29:59,320 --> 00:30:02,120 OK. All right. Look, I'm picking... Right, what is that? What is that? 633 00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:04,520 See that there? What colour is that? The one in the middle? 634 00:30:04,560 --> 00:30:06,920 Yeah, the middle. Yeah. What colour is that? 635 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,040 Red. HE LAUGHS 636 00:30:09,080 --> 00:30:10,640 Wow! 637 00:30:10,680 --> 00:30:12,880 Actual wow. 638 00:30:12,920 --> 00:30:15,840 I'm worried about you, I'm actually worried about you. 639 00:30:15,880 --> 00:30:17,480 Worry about yourself.What? 640 00:30:17,520 --> 00:30:20,680 You've got two problems - your eyesight and your attitude. 641 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,400 Morning! 642 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,080 What's going on? 643 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:37,360 Well, thanks to your disastrous foray into live television, 644 00:30:37,400 --> 00:30:39,880 the Sector Premier has finally seen sense. 645 00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:48,760 Territory 78 will henceforth be ruled with an iron fist - 646 00:30:48,800 --> 00:30:50,320 my iron fist - 647 00:30:50,360 --> 00:30:54,440 and I am very much looking forward to doing a lot of iron fisting. 648 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:56,480 That doesn't mean what I think you think it means. 649 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,640 Silence, Earthling!Yeah. 650 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:00,760 You're playing in my sandpit now, 651 00:31:00,800 --> 00:31:04,400 and you can forget your social media, your free speech. 652 00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:06,560 There will be a single broadcast channel 653 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:09,040 to disseminate state-approved information - 654 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,240 approved by me... 655 00:31:11,280 --> 00:31:12,440 TRATER CLEARS THROAT 656 00:31:12,480 --> 00:31:14,000 ..and our glorious leader. 657 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,600 OK. Yeah, I get it. 658 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,800 You're... You're pissed off. 659 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,760 But this isn't how you get folk on your side. 660 00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:23,520 They won't take this from you. 661 00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:25,640 You're so right. 662 00:31:25,680 --> 00:31:27,880 They won't take it... 663 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,800 ..from me. 664 00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,880 Your first broadcast will be tomorrow. 665 00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,400 I've taken the liberty of preparing your script. 666 00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:40,280 Feel free to scroll through.Jesus! 667 00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,560 I look forward to ignoring your thoughts. 668 00:31:42,600 --> 00:31:46,120 No way. I won't do it. Let me put it another way. 669 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:49,400 It's my way or the die way. 670 00:31:49,440 --> 00:31:50,720 That's... 671 00:31:50,760 --> 00:31:52,440 That's not a phrase. 672 00:31:52,480 --> 00:31:54,040 It is now. 673 00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:03,240 HE EXHALES