(chill music)
(Divine chimes)
- If you think you're pulling off
this maternity wear as hipster chic, you're wrong.
- [Max] Privacy, please.
And can you maybe not drink while I'm getting ready for AA?
- To see lover boy.
- We're not lovers and he thinks I'm straight.
- Oh, honey, you're not that good of an actor.
- Shut up.
- Confess.
Live your truths.
- [Max] I can't.
- All right.
(audio booms)
Let's talk about this last month.
There was the Razzie-worthy performance at Lamaze class.
- [Maggie] Remember to support the baby's head.
(Max gasps) (Maggie gasps)
- (screams) I killed our baby!
- Kyle blocked your number and your TikTok, your Instagram,
your Twitter, and your DudesNudes.
Girl, why do you still have DudesNudes?
You're lying to Maggie so that you can go to AA meetings
every week to see Patrick.
You're lying to Patrick about, well, everything.
So much lying, so bad for the skin.
- I'm handling it.
- Yeah, let's see how long you can keep this up for.
(Divine warbling)
- Are you wearing one of my maternity shirts?
- Uh, yeah, um, I thought it was cute.
- Oh. - Do you mind?
- No, not at all.
You do look cute.
- Thank you.
- So where are you off to in my pregnancy couture?
- Uh, just work.
Um, another shift.
I have another mouth to feed soon.
- You know, I don't expect you to pay for-
- [Max] I'm just kidding.
- You're a good father.
- Uh, do you need anything before I go?
Like a nap in a real bed, maybe?
I feel bad you're sleeping in the living room.
But thank God Dorothy's not letting us sleep
in the same bed before marriage.
- I mean, I think it's a little late for that.
- Because I already planted my seed.
- Ugh, awful.
- Basted you with my baby gravy.
- Oh, I hate that.
- 'Kay, love you.
- Love you back.
(bell dings)
- [Max] Um, Patrick.
- Hey, Max, how are you?
- Uh, good.
I'm- I'm good.
- Did you end up talking to Maggie?
- Uh, about us?
- About AA.
- Oh, right.
No, not yet.
Just waiting for the right time.
She just loves drinking so much.
Uh, not while pregnant.
- I thought she was concerned about your drinking.
She'll be supportive.
Why wouldn't she be?
You guys are amazing in class.
Really good partners.
- I, uh, do make a great partner.
- Hey, everyone, let's get started.
- I was hoping to go first.
I have a lot going on right now
that I really want to express to everyone
and, uh- - Sure, but-
- Great.
So, um, last week, I was thinking about sucking the alcohol
out of an old stain on my couch and, and-
- But before we get started,
I just wanted to recognize that tonight is Max's one month
and he's getting his red chip.
(people clapping)
- So as I was saying, um-
- After a month,
I think it might be finally time he spoke to the group.
- Oh.
Nah, it's okay.
- I- I was hoping to go first.
- A huge part of AA is community.
So on this milestone day,
if you wanted to share any feelings or struggles,
don't be afraid to be totally and completely honest.
(Max hisses)
(Max whines)
(Max groans)
(Max slurps)
(gentle music)
- [Narrator] "Womb Envy."
(bright music)
- Hey, how are you?
Good.
Uh, just staying with a friend in Toronto.
Why?
Um.
(sighs) Okay, uh, so I should have told you
when I first found out.
I know that, um,
but I freaked out and I didn't know what to do,
and then my mom freaked out and, um...
Get to the point, um...
I'm pregnant, it's yours and I'm gonna have it.
And I want you to be a part of our child's life.
But I also can't stand you and want nothing to do with you.
Okay, bye.
(Maggie clears throat)
Well, that went pretty well.
Uh, good practice run.
Maybe two, 300 more times and we'll make the real call.
God, I hope it goes to voicemail.
(door creaks)
- I come bearing baby gifts. (laughs)
- Mom, enough.
We don't even have room for half of them.
- We have to be prepared for anything
that little guy's gonna throw at us.
- Please, stop gendering my child.
- Fine.
I'll stop calling him a boy. (chuckles)
Maggie, honey, wanna thank you
for letting me back into your life
and allowing me to be part of your child's life.
(gentle music)
- Um.
I want a relationship with you
and I want my kid to know you too
but things have to be different this time.
And they have been but they need to stay that way.
- I'm not gonna mess up again.
I promise you.
I'm a woman of God now.
- I know and I've seen a big change in you.
- Oh, Maggie.
It means the world to hear you say that.
And thank you for sharing
your beautiful engagement to Max with me.
We should be thinking about getting back
to Elliot Lake soon.
That's where you and Max should settle.
Good community.
Close to free babysitter. That's me. (laughs)
Can I make you something to eat?
Mac and cheese, your favorite.
- Mom, mac and cheese hasn't been my favorite
since I was eight.
- Oh, okay.
Well, did you know that there is an app
every restaurant in the city on it?
I found it when I was trying to turn off my flashlight.
Do you know how I...
It's been on for three weeks.
Where's Max?
- Uh, he's at work.
- Why does he have to work so many nights?
He should be home with his fiance.
- Max is doing more than enough.
Trust me.
- He doesn't seem the least bit interested
in planning a wedding.
Typical man, I know, but it would be nice if-
- Mom, I wanna focus on the baby right now,
not wedding planning.
- That's okay.
No undue stress like Patrick said.
- Yes.
Trust the professional.
- (chuckles) He's just a man who read some books.
(laughs) Any woman who's given birth is a professional.
- (chuckles) I thought you were too wasted
to remember giving birth.
(book thumps)
Mom, I'm sorry, I...
- I think I'll just go to bed and read.
I can use my flashlight.
Glad you didn't help me with it.
(pensive music)
(bell dings)
- Is there anything you'd like to share?
This is a safe space.
- Uh.
I would like to share
that I'm really good at just listening.
Okay, uh, fine.
Where to start?
Uh, a month ago, I was living a totally different life,
like, completely different.
(Divine chimes)
It's, um, it's...
- Oh, don't mind me, just pretend I'm not here.
You got this, babe.
Just be yourself.
- [Max] I'm...
- Gay.
- I am...
- Homosexual.
- I'm...
- A big old fairy!
- Scared.
- Yeah, of the truth.
- It's very difficult to keep the line
between the past and the present.
- Oh, "Grey Gardens" quote.
Butch it up.
- I wanna move forward but I don't wanna change who I am.
- Ooh, deep.
- I'm trying, okay?
- You don't have to keep going.
- No, I want to.
My body's changing.
- [Patrick] That's what happens when you stop using.
- No, but it's really changing.
Like, why is this happening to me?
- Don't forget about the imaginary drag queen
following you around.
- Harassing me!
- Whoa.
- My past, um,
it's like it's harassing me.
How do you marry your past and your present
in a way that leads to your future?
Or compliments who you've become?
Um, I wish there was a clear path other than sobriety
because once you're sober,
but then
you have nothing to blame your problems or mistakes on
and ready to go from there.
How do you be everything to everyone
and- a- and be honest while you do it?
I just want to scream!
But I'm also very happy
because nothing like this has ever happened to me
and I don't wanna lose it.
I can't lose it.
Does any of that make sense?
(people clapping)
(bright music)
- [Patrick] I'm really proud of you.
- [Max] (chuckles) Of my verbal diarrhea?
- You are open and vulnerable and that can be hard.
- Uh, you haven't told me about how you lost your vision.
Is it hard to talk about?
- [Patrick] No.
The more people who know, the less stigma there is.
And people should know when they're being an ableist.
- If they're being what?
- People who don't have a disability
or aren't close to someone who does
probably won't understand how the world caters
to non-disabled people.
That's ableism.
Whether they're aware of it or not.
- Well, I am not ableist.
- An ableist person would say that.
- Ah, damn it.
- It's the little things people take for granted
like just walking to the store, or open up a can,
or seeing out of your right eye.
- I am totally ableist.
- [Patrick] Now you know.
- [Max] Well, I heard knowing was half the battle.
- Yeah, I heard that too.
- So how did you lose-
- I'll tell you another time.
- Fair.
Not everyone can be as open and vulnerable as I am.
Uh, and thanks.
- For what?
- For everything, I guess.
- I can't take credit for everything.
- Hug it out? (chuckles)
- Sure thing.
(gentle music)
We should stop hugging now.
- Oh.
Yeah, um, sorry.
Well, I'm right up here.
- I'll walk you.
- Uh, it's still, like, 10 blocks.
- I could use the exercise.
(bright music)
- [Person] My son Chakra is my best friend.
People laugh at me
when I say that. - Pickles are my best friend.
- [Person] Yes, he's only 38 and a half weeks old
but our non-verbal conversations
are some of the best I've had in my life.
He teaches me so many amazing life lessons.
Yesterday, I was reading him my favorite Rumi quotes.
Rumi is his favorite 13th century poet.
His first words were, "You are not a drop in the ocean-"
- [Max] Patrick, you are so funny.
- "you are the entire-" - Oh, man, yo,
my mom's waiting outside. - "ocean in a drop."
I wasn't quoting Rumi until I was at least-
- Didn't realize Max was working his shift
with Patrick tonight.
- [Person] To your child.
They see more than you think.
- [Narrator] "Womb Envy" is created by Champagna,
written by Mark Keller, produced by Charlie David,
directed by Jake Horowitz, cinematography by Paul Maxwell.
"Womb Envy" is produced and distributed
by Border2Border Entertainment,
in association with AMI and OUTtv.
Integrated Described Video by AMI,
featuring Daniel Fernandes, Storm Steenson,
Jeffrey Haase, Helen Holtham, Champagna, and Luke Avoledo.
(bright music)
Copyright 2023 Border2Border Entertainment.
(water splashing)