Look, what I'm about to tell you is really hard for me, okay?
But I need to tell you this
because I want you to have a clear vision of what happens
when you let your heart blind your brain.
Okay.
Remember that Instagram post where I said I'm the greatest writer now?
And I have all the candles and the fancy pens and all that shit?
You seem like you really enjoy being an author.
[chuckles] I don't. I hate it.
I haven't written one single word in that book.
Okay. Wow. Social media really is a lie.
And you know why? I didn't stop being a cop to write books.
I stopped being a cop because I lost my confidence.
Really? 'Cause you seem really confident to me.
Like, at all times.
Thank you. I work hard at that.
But after we solved that Xavier murder, there was another case,
And you know how I am.
I like to dig deep inside of a case, roll around in it,
feel it from every angle.
Okay.
Well, this time, I got too close.
There'd been a series of fires. Arson. And we had a suspect.
The name's Leonard Vurr, real weirdo.
He got out of prison six months ago, and guess what for?
- Hmm? - That's right. Arson, bitch.
And he has a personal connection to two of the three locations that were burned.
Well, that is suspicious.
The used car dealership? He used to work there.
And the bar? He was kicked out
- and asked not to come back. - What did he do?
He told a waitress there that he loved her
and he started bringing her candy every day.
Well, that doesn't seem so bad.
They were Werther's Originals.
Let's nail this son of a bitch.
- [footsteps departing] - [door opens, closes]
You like fire, Mr. Vurr?
Off your look, I'm guessing you do.
What do you like so much about fire?
It turns me on.
Okay.
Not in a sexual way.
It's spiritual,
the way that it ignites from the smallest bit of friction,
and it grows and grows.
Dancing, crackling... [inhales sharply] ...and singing as it meets its object,
lapping at it, transforming it, until it's raging out of control.
Okay, you got a way with words.
You feel like, I don't know, maybe confessing to starting a few fires?
I don't know what you're talking about.
[Culp] Yeah, you do, you liar.
Who the hell is that?
That's my partner. He thinks you're guilty.
Why is he hiding? What is he, deformed?
- What? - No, I'm-- No.
Oh. [chuckles] Okay, I know what's going on.
Is this, like, good cop, ugly cop?
I'm not ugly. You're ugly!
Culp, no one thinks you're ugly. You are beautiful, inside and out.
- [speaker clicks] - Thank you.
Look, we've connected you to two locations that were burned last week,
- so I'm going to ask you-- - Okay, I-- I don't--
I don't start fires anymore.
[stammers] You gotta believe me, ugly cop!
Okay, I am boyishly handsome.
I don't think he did it.
Uh, okay.
Did we just hear the same thing? The way he called me ugly?
And the way he talked about fire like he wanted to fuck it?
He said that it wasn't sexual.
- That it was spiritual. - Please.
Okay, anyone who uses the word "spiritual" is having weird, annoying sex.
Trust me, I know.
He's also a convicted arsonist
with a motive at two of the three locations. He did it.
- I don't know. It's too easy. - Danner.
Leonard's been seeing a psychiatrist, guy named Quentin Devereaux.
"Psychiatrist and author of two books, Controlled Burn and The Smoky Mirror,
Quentin Devereaux is an expert in curing malicious behavior,
including violence, sexual deviance and pyromania."
Okay, Leonard goes to therapy.
We should all go to therapy. Therapy's great. What's your point?
Why would a guy who is trying to get help burn down those buildings?
Uh, why would I still post
snippy, anonymous comments on my ex-boyfriend's Instagram?
Therapy doesn't solve everything, okay?
Danner, I know you hate the theory
that the guy who looks like he did it might have really done it,
but not every case is the Xavier murder.
Sometimes the guy who looks like he did it, did it!
Maybe.
But I wanna talk to this Quentin Devereaux guy.
[Culp scoffs] Of course you do. Look at him.
[Danner] Culp was wrong. That wasn't why I was interested in him.
I wanted to get inside the mind of an arsonist,
understand how they think.
I was hoping Dr. Devereaux could help me do that.
Dr. Devereaux?
[grunts] One moment.
- 999... [breathes deeply] - Okay, Quentin.
1,000.
[exhales heavily] Forgive my informality.
[exhales heavily] My schedule's so busy, I, uh, have to work out on my lunch break.
I don't always meet new people like this. [chuckles]
I don't mind.
And I don't believe I've had the pleasure.
- No, you have not. I'm-- - Detective Danner.
You know who I am?
Oh, yeah. The Xavier murder.
I was very interested in that case.
Killer's motive,
his false sense of injustice, the pent-up rage.
I thought you specialized in deviant behavior.
Well, my specialty is passion.
Yeah. What are you passionate about, Detective Danner?
Being right.
And what are you afraid of?
Being wrong.
And what's so wrong with being wrong?
I wanted to, uh, ask you some questions about Leonard Vurr.
He's a patient.
I can't share much more than that. Uh, doctor-patient confidentiality.
I understand, but he's the suspect in a series of arsons.
Detective Danner, I work with my patients to embrace their desires,
to control them and not be controlled by them.
Leonard doesn't set fires anymore.
Yeah, he told us, but I would like to know more.
Then have dinner with me.
[chuckles] I'm-- I'm working a case. It's highly unprofessional.
You want to understand the mind of an arsonist?
I am the man that will give you what you want and what you need.
[Danner] I knew it wasn't a good idea, but I thought it was just dinner.
[Aniq] Okay.
I hope you're not psychoanalyzing me,
'cause that would be my job.
You painted all of these?
It's a hobby. Clears the mind.
[Danner] You're very talented, and they're very naked.
Just started this one.
I think you would make an excellent model.
I thought this was supposed to be a business dinner.
Then let's get down to business.
So, Doc, tell me,
how does a guy like Leonard Vurr afford a psychiatrist like you?
'Cause you can't be cheap.
My abilities as a psychiatrist
afford me the flexibility to take on a wide range of clients.
I also enjoy working pro bono.
I'm also pro bono.
For an arsonist like Leonard, his passion isn't fire.
His passion is how the fire makes him feel.
It's the power of it.
I worked with Leonard to accept his need to feel his passion,
but to find that powerful thrill that he craves
from less destructive forces.
So what's his new passion?
Karaoke.
Really?
And what's his jam of choice?
William Joel, "We Didn't Start the Fire."
[exclaims]
You're not a very good cook, are you?
[chuckles] My, uh-- My passions lie elsewhere.
And what is your passion?
Sex.
Really? Just straight-up sex?
All kinds of sex.
I guess you could call me a pyromaniac. Only, instead of fire, I like sex.
[Aniq] You know, there's a term for that.
[Danner shushes] I'm telling the story.
I mean, I also like sex.
Show me.
[moaning]
[Quentin] I want you to do something for me.
Okay. I want you to slap my titty.
What? You want me to-- to hit your pectoral?
Slap my titty.
Okay.
[grunts] Okay, harder. Again.
[groans] Okay. Okay, harder. Again.
- [groans] - Oh, shit.
[both grunting]
You like that? [grunts] Yeah.
- [grunting] - Okay, can we stop?
What? I was just getting into it.
Do I really need to hear about this guy getting his titties slapped?
The sex is a part of it.
In addition to the fire I was investigating,
there was an erotic fire raging between me and Quentin.
Yeah, no, I-- I get it. It's just-- I don't need to hear every detail.
You're not into titty slapping?
- No. - Fine.
[toilet flushes]
Hi.
Hey.
Everything okay?
Not really. [sighs]
Uh... [chuckles] ...I'm trying to help Grace, but I don't know what I'm doing.
Hey, do you remember how you used to make us
those special pancakes when we were little?
Saturday mornings, we would let Mom and Dad sleep in.
What were they called?
- Dutch babies. Dutch babies. [chuckles] - Dutch babies. Ah, of course.
The world traveler.
Actually, Dutch babies were invented in Seattle.
Do you think you remember how to make them? Because I am starving.
I think I can give it a whirl.
- Awesome. Funcle to the rescue. - Yes. [chuckles]
You know, you always sent us postcards from all over the world,
but I never knew why you left.
I was, uh, restless. The world was calling.
Hmm. See, Grace and I thought you were a spy.
Ah. Sadly, I am not a spy.
Exactly what a spy would say.
- Very good. - [both chuckle]
- ...the secret. Just tell me. - I doubt it.
- [singing] - Travis? Is that devil's trumpet?
- Oh, hey. How are you guys doing? - Oh, my--
Oh, my God.
Step away from the tea, my man.
Oh, no, no. This is not-- I'm-- It's--
Time-out. [chuckles] This is an experiment.
Welcome to the lab. Our poisonous tea made by our killer.
Now, w-what is the special knowledge one must have to make this tea?
So, I got the flowers,
a little instruction from my good pal, Reddit.
And voilà. It's really not that hard to make.
How do you know you did it right?
My man, I drank some.
- Oh, my God. - Oh.
What? Oh, no, no, no, don't worry. I microdosed.
According to RedPill69,
in small doses this is just a mild hallucinogen
with no real side effects, no paralysis or death, or--
Okay, Travis, how much is a small dose?
[stammers]
Travis, how much did you drink?
It was, uh, just a little bit, like a-- a sip.
- A small sip. [sighs] Ow. - A sip or a small sip?
- I don-- I don't know. Holy moly! - Oh, no.
Did I drink too much?
I might have drank too much. We don't know.
Ah, shit! This was avoidable.
I'm-- Am I gonna piss myself?
- Definitely possible. - I don't know.
- Oh, God. Oh, no. - Okay.
And there I was on the kitchen floor, spatula in each hand,
just squeezing his round, muscular ass.
Just working it.
- And this is the short version? - Yeah.
Then we raided the refrigerator.
- More. - [both grunting]
- [moans] - [grunts]
[moans]
[exhales heavily]
[moans]
[Danner] You like that, huh? Yeah, you do.
- Macaroni man. Yeah. - Mmm.
That was one hell of a business dinner.
Mmm. I wanted you to fully understand the work I've been doing with Leonard.
You do this with Leonard?
Do you think I'm really good at sex?
Best I ever had.
Well, I'm an even better psychiatrist.
And I know when he's lying and when he's not. And he's not.
[Culp] You're letting him go?
We can't keep holding him without more evidence.
Besides, yesterday I met up with his psychiatrist,
and he convinced me that Leonard is not obsessed with fire anymore.
Really?
He used to be, but now he likes karaoke.
- [Culp] Karaoke? - [Danner] Yes, karaoke.
- [Danner] Uh... - Hope I'm not interrupting.
Dr. Devereaux, how nice it is to see you again.
Leonard listed me as his emergency contact,
so I'm gonna take him home.
I wanted to stop by and say hello. So, hello.
Hello.
Uh, I better go sign this release paperwork.
Mm-hmm.
[chuckles]
Oh, my God. You fucked the psychiatrist.
So what? Look at him.
You can't tell me you wouldn't go ahead and give it to that guy?
Of course I would. I would kill myself in public to have sex with him one time.
But no, that doesn't matter. He's part of the case now, okay?
You can't just let the fact that he has a huge hog-- D--
Does he have a huge hog?
It's a smedium. It's so good.
- See, that's what you want. - Less stress on the body.
Boyfriend-y if you will.
- Like Goldilocks. - It still work. [chuckles]
But... [stammers] ...that's not the point. Just don't let it cloud your judgment.
I won't.
- Hey. - Uh, we're gonna head out.
So, will I see you later?
I have some more thoughts I want to share on, uh,
the ins and outs of the mind of a pyromaniac.
[clears throat]
Those ins and outs sound very important.
Besides, we still have a arsonist to catch.
Ow! Ow! Fuck. Shit. Sorry, I burnt myself.
Anyway, uh, thanks for letting me go.
I mean...
He didn't do it.
You're getting too close, Danner. And much like Leonard's hands,
- you're-- You're gonna get bur-- - No, don't say it. Don't!
- Do not say it. It's-- Nope. - You're gonna get burned.
["Freak Like Me" playing]
[Danner] But I couldn't resist Quentin.
[breathing heavily, moaning]
How expensive is this shirt?
Very expensive.
[moans]
- I wanna rip it off you. - Do it.
[inhales deeply, groaning]
[groaning]
[Aniq] Oh, my God, you're having sex again.
Hell, yeah. But we were also talking about the case.
There's an intersection between pleasure and pain.
A heavily trafficked one. There's lots of honking.
There's only one stoplight, and it doesn't work.
So no one's sure when to stop or go.
Well, I say, let's go.
Put on one of them bright-colored vests
with them flags and just wave that all around,
and let's just get on with it, baby.
[chuckles] Do you remember when I said that, uh,
- fire is about power? - Mm-hmm.
- [gasps, exhales sharply] - You see?
The fire has power over you, and it's thrilling to turn the tables.
Do you consent for me to drip hot candle wax onto you?
Thank you for asking.
[inhales sharply] Damn!
Consent is sexy as fuck.
- [breathing heavily] - Yeah. Now it's my turn.
I want you to tie me up so I can't resist.
I want you to pour that candle right here.
One of my titties likes the smacks.
The other one likes the wax.
Okay, I can't do this anymore.
I was afraid this day would come.
[inhales deeply] Oh, the dirigible's going down...
[stammers] ...pierced by the shot of Augustus Abernathy's blunderbuss.
No.
I've spent some time as an honorary ayahuasca shaman.
- Allow me. Oh. Come here. - [grunts]
- Oh, what temptress awaits? - Hey! Look at me! Look at me.
- What you're seeing is in your mind's eye. - [breathing heavily]
Now take three deep breaths in through the nose.
[inhales deeply] There you go. Out through the mouth.
- [exhales deeply] - [yells]
[yells] No!
[yells]
Oh, I need to get to the velocycle.
Oh, is this hip-hop?
- No, he's using steampunk slang. - [Travis gasps]
I got this. Stand back, everyone.
- Hey there, Chuckaboo. - [Travis] Oh, okay.
- Who-- Who-- - Oh!
- [screams] - Ah. [gasps]
Look, I'll come on the velocycle with you.
- Oh, yeah. We're stabilizing. - [breathing heavily] It's-- It's a--
- Keep doing that. - [Travis whines]
I'll go make some Dutch babies to soak up the poison.
I knew that Travis was a-- a little bit odd,
- but why would he poison himself? - [exhales deeply]
I mean, that is such a dangerous move.
[whimpers]
He certainly got Grace's attention, didn't he?
[Travis babbles, grunts]
I'm going to see if I can find us some flying fish.
- Oh, there we go. - [grunts]
You know, I really don't wanna be here, but this is riveting.
So then we're burning the candle at both ends,
if you know what I'm saying.
Look, when Sebastian finishes his calls, the police are gonna come.
- We're squeezed for time. - All right, fine.
- I'll skip to the end. - Thank you.
So...
Thanks for the look inside the mind of the arsonist.
Now I've gotta go search for our arsonist.
The Dairy Freeze won't be the last place they burn down, if I don't stop 'em.
I didn't know it was a Dairy Freeze that burned.
Honestly, I didn't think that was possible.
It's a Dairy Freeze.
Yeah, that shit burnt up fast as hell. [scoffs] Why?
Uh, I-- I can't say. I-I-It would cross a professional line.
Look, if you have a patient that's a danger to others,
you're required to tell me.
- Mm-hmm. - [sighs]
That night I was taking Leonard home,
I asked him how he was gonna celebrate being out of holding.
He said that he was planning on hitting Sing Sing tonight.
- The prison? - The karaoke bar.
And I was surprised because he said that they were mean to him.
I think his exact words were,
"They were jerks to me just like at the Dairy Freeze.
I'm just gonna hit that place up and let off some steam."
Now, I assumed "hit" meant he was gonna just sing. But...
Shit.
The Dairy Freeze is the only location we didn't connect to Leonard.
This doesn't make sense. He's moved past this. I know he has.
- [line ringing] - [Culp] Culp.
Culp, you were right. [sighs]
I fucked up letting Leonard go.
Go by his house and see if he's there. I'm gonna go by Sing Sing.
- [Culp] Prison? - No, the karaoke bar.
Okay.
Hey, look, um, I'm sorry.
I thought I was a better psychiatrist than this.
No, it's not just you, Doc.
I thought I was a better cop than this too.
[Danner] I was pissed at myself for getting so caught up
in the incredible, world-shattering sex with Quentin
that I let it blind me to what was right in front of me.
I was still holding out hope it was all a misunderstanding.
But he was there, and he was making trouble.
- [singing "We Didn't Start the Fire"] - Get off the stage, bro.
It's not your turn. It's-- It's-- It's Wayne's turn, okay?
Sign up for a turn like everybody else.
I have the mic! I got the power!
[continues singing "We Didn't Start the Fire"]
Leonard! We need to talk.
Shit.
I'ma beat your ass for making me run after you!
Stage dive. [chuckles]
Yeah.
Uh...
[singing pop song]
- I didn't do anything! [groans] - Then why'd you run, Leonard?
This is harassment.
Did you plan on burning down the karaoke club tonight?
I told you, I don't do that anymore, all right?
The only thing I lit up in there is that stage.
- Really? - What?
Y-You saw me. I was pretty good, right?
[Danner] But I checked his car trunk.
Wait. That's not mine. I-- I didn't put that there.
You have a trunk full of accelerants, Leonard.
- No, no, no, no. - You're under arrest.
You gotta believe me. It's not mine!
- Get on your knees! - [Leonard groans]
[Danner] I felt terrible.
I was tired. Mad at myself.
Not in the mood for raw, intense animal sex at all.
But I owed it to Quentin to let him know what happened with his patient.
- [Quentin] Danner, is that you? - Yeah.
- How'd it go? - We got him.
Found a bunch of evidence in the trunk of his car.
[Quentin] Poor Leonard. I failed him.
We both failed.
No, you got your man. I gave you the pieces.
You put 'em together.
Yeah.
[sighs] I wouldn't have been able to do it without you.
[Danner echoing] That was quite the business dinner.
[Quentin] ...likes the wax.
[Quentin] It's a hobby.
[Danner] You're very talented, and they're very naked.
- Motherfucker. - [Aniq] Oh, my God.
- He was the arsonist. - He was the motherfucking arsonist.
[Aniq] So, what'd you do?
[line ringing]
[Culp] Hey, it's Culp.
No one uses voice mail anymore. Text me, you idiot.
I told you that one wasn't finished.
You, uh...
You really captured the female form.
Hmm. Like I said, I needed a model.
Let's go to bed.
Do you remember when we first met,
I asked you what you were passionate about?
Being right.
And what was your biggest fear?
Being wrong.
[groans]
Today must have been a pretty difficult day for you.
Mm-hmm.
[exhales sharply]
Let me make it worse.
What?
What the hell? [grunts]
Was it the turpentine that tipped you off?
What are you talking about?
Come on. Don't insult me.
That was a pretty good cover.
No one's gonna ask a artist why they smell like turpentine.
That's right.
Truth is I'm, uh, not really a pyromaniac, but for sex.
I'm a sex addict, but for fire.
And as a therapist,
it is remarkably easy to find a sap to pin it on.
I thought you were all about finding healthy outlets.
This is my outlet. I quench my desire to burn.
Then Leonard takes the blame
when every place I burn connects back to him.
It was the perfect plan.
Then the rogue cop Danner
came knocking on my door.
I had to improvise.
It would've been too obvious if I just said he was guilty.
You lied to me!
You wanna know what's wonderful about this stuff?
It doesn't just mix with the paint.
It also erases your mistakes.
Come on, man.
I really did enjoy having kinky sex with you.
Me too.
Somebody help!
Help!
He--
- ...elp! - This story is crazy.
I know. I was fucking the arsonist and had no idea.
'Cause I was too close to the case. Lost objectivity.
His smedium dick was so good,
I didn't even think to look at Quentin as a suspect.
Just like you're doing right now.
Uh, I-- I don't-- I don't think this is exactly a one-to-one.
You're fucking the arsonist.
And when you're fucking the arsonist,
you have no idea you're fucking the arsonist till it's too late.
Okay. O-Okay. Yeah, I'm-- I'm too-- I'm too close.
Look, you have to decide if you wanna get to the truth about who killed Edgar,
or do you wanna protect your girlfriend's family,
even if a killer goes free?
Yeah, I get that.
But okay, so you were handcuffed to the bed.
The house is on fire. How did you get away?
Oh, yeah.
- [sobs] Help! Help! - Danner? Oh, my God, this is hell.
- Oh, my God! - Culp! What are you doing here?
Well, you left me the longest goddamn voice mail I've ever received
in my goddamn life.
But I heard everything. I heard Quentin's entire confession.
I heard the creepy neck kissing. I heard all of it.
Well then, get over here and get me out!
- Duh. Why do you think I'm here? - Right. [coughs] Okay.
What if we broke your thumb and then kind of wiggled it on through?
No, no, no. We are not breaking thumbs, okay?
Look, there's some lube right there on the table there.
- Put that on my wrist, spread it on there... - [groans]
- ...and then we'll just pull my wrist out. - No, I can't do that.
You're my partner, and that is sexual. That's sexual lubricant.
This is not a sexual situation!
It's blurred lines, sweetie!
You gotta get me out of these motherfucking--
No, no. Lean away. Lean away. I'm gonna shoot at it.
If you shoot it, you're gonna shoot my hand off, man. No!
Look, Danner, you gotta trust me. I was the best shot in my class.
I used to go hunting with my mamaw and my peepaw, okay?
Okay, just stop wiggling. It's getting hard to see with the smoke!
If you're gonna shoot, just shoot the headboard, okay?
- [coughing] - Hurry up! We don't have a lot of time!
Danner, I can't see!
If you can't see, don't shoot!
And if you can't stop coughing, don't shoot!
- [coughs] - [gunfire]
You did it, partner. You did it.
[laughs, breathes shakily]
[weakly] Danner?
[gasping]
[Danner] Oh, shoot. I'm gonna get you, partner. I got you! [grunts]
Okay. All right. Good thing you lost some weight lately.
- [horns blaring] - [dispatcher] Engine 6 responding.
[Danner] I got you, partner. I got you.
[firefighter 1] Here she comes.
- [firefighter 2] Go look for survivors. - [Danner] Don't worry. I got you.
[Culp] I love you, Danner.
They let Leonard go, and Quentin disappeared into the wind.
And it was all my fault, so I resigned.
Oh, I'm sorry.
Yeah, I was pretty messed up about all of it.
Then you called, and I thought,
"This might be my chance to be the old Danner again."
You know, honestly, I guess I never really thought of you as a real person, you know,
with-- with doubts or fears till just now, I guess. [chuckles]
Damn, that's cold as hell.
Yeah. No, that's very bad. That is-- I-- I'm sorry.
That's on me. But I'm all in.
I'm gonna help you get your groove back.
- Don't say that. - I will not ever say that again.
You know, as soon as I-- as soon as I did say it,
I was like, "Get the words back in the mouth."
Point is, we're gonna solve this case, wherever it leads.
Even if it's Zoë's family.
Where should we start?
Mom with the secret or uncle with the suspicious glass?
[sighs] Can we start with Ulysses, please?
It just seems a little less terrifying.
- [sighs] - [Ulysses] Here we go.
I'm sorry. [sighs] Th-- That was crazy.
That-- Oh, my God. I do not recommend doing that, by the way.
Well, it looks like you got it all outta your system,
which means you're not gonna die. [chuckles]
You just saw the face of God, my friend.
Thank you.
God, your hand, that just feels good too.
And that delicious, eggy pancake saved my life, man.
You're a real hero. I guess we're both heroes today though.
You made this breakfast and I proved my point
that literally anyone in this home could've made that poison.
- Huh. - Oh, yeah.
[chuckles] Like, all you need is hot water and a teapot.
- Could I get some more maple syrup? - [Ulysses] Yes, of course.
I love when someone gives you seconds
while you're still eating the first helping.
[Ulysses] Grace, you need a Dutch baby.
[Sebastian] It's all going smoothly. No hiccups yet. We'll get this done.
[Isabel] Well, it has to happen now.
Who's in here?
Hello?
Gotcha!