[siren wailing]
How could we not have solved this?
I was so sure we were gonna figure it out.
Yeah, me too.
I mean, anyone could have done it.
Everyone had means. Everyone had opportunity.
Everyone had motive.
There's just one thing that just keeps nagging at me.
But you wouldn't like it.
Wait, what are you saying?
There was only one person who wasn't mentioned
in anyone's story during the after-party.
In the library,
I saw Isabel,
Hannah, Grace, Feng,
Sebastian, Ulysses,
Travis, Vivian...
And no one saw Zoë.
Well, no-- She was-- She's been trying to help Grace.
Just like Yasper was trying to help you?
This is delicious.
What is it? What's going on?
Have a seat.
Did you figure out who did it?
Because I feel terrible.
I didn't want you to talk to my parents,
and then they were hiding this whole crazy affair.
Um, we just need you to tell us
what you were doing during the after-party last night.
Shit.
Really thought I'd covered up my tracks.
Zoë, what did you do?
[sighs]
I've been trying to block it out.
- You and Grace had had a fight over Edgar. - Yeah.
And I never got to make it up to her in my maid-of-honor speech
because Edgar cut me off.
And then I--
I just wanna say it was an accident.
I didn't want him to die.
No. No, no, no.
Oh, my God, come on. No one cared about him anyway.
You are being very casual about this.
I don't know.
The whole thing felt like this campy horror film or something.
I knew Grace was still mad at me.
Hello?
Is anyone in here?
And I didn't want her going off to her honeymoon without setting things right.
So I snuck into her bedroom to put my maid-of-honor speech in her suitcase.
[door slams]
Hello? Is someone in here?
[object thuds]
[breathes deeply]
[rapid footsteps]
Edgar, is that you?
It isn't funny.
[barks]
Oh. Hi, doggy.
I just was leaving a little note for my sister.
- [growls] - [screams]
- [snarling] - [screaming]
Ow! [grunts]
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
- [shrieking] God! - [snarling continues]
Ow! Ow! Ow!
Go away!
Oh, my God.
- [snarling] - [screams]
No, no, no, no, no. No!
[snarling, screaming continue]
Fetch this, bitch!
[shouts]
[breathing heavily]
[echoing] Doggy? Doggy?
[clicking tongue]
Holy shit.
I killed the dog.
- [sighs] - It's okay, Zo.
Look, it was an accident, right? Like you said.
- She said, "Fetch this, bitch." - You did say that, didn't you?
And if you remember, I have a tiny "rage-y" side of me
that comes out when I am provoked.
Oh, yeah, I remember.
I really wanted to tell you, but you both figured it out anyway.
- We were just wondering where the dog was. - Yeah, so that's answered.
So, now on to who killed Edgar.
Okay. So, who did it?
[Danner clears throat]
We don't have a suspect.
What? You don't have a suspect?
Just-- There has to be something we missed.
I'm sorry, partner.
I came all this way, and I let you down.
- And what about Grace? - I don't think Grace did it.
Just don't know how to prove it.
[Howie] Gather around, folks. We've got some things to discuss.
All right, my team is still working,
but it seems clear to me that the bride did it.
- [sighs] No. - [Howie] Yeah.
- She married him for his money... - [Grace] No. [cries]
- ...never signed the prenup... - [Isabel] Mmm.
...drugged his drink.
Open and shut.
Excuse me, Sheriff.
Oh, you must be the ex-cop.
- That's right. - Oh, boy.
- Nice to meet you. - Yeah.
I don't wanna tell you how to do your job,
but don't you think you should actually investigate?
Yeah, Grace is not the only person here whose circumstances are suspicious.
Ten minutes ago, before she went back to accusing Grace,
- Isabel thought she did it. - [Howie] What?
It's quite simple, actually. I never thought I murdered Edgar.
I thought he murdered himself accidentally
because he was intending to murder me.
He was just the wrong target.
But now I see all along that I was right and it was Grace.
Aha. That's right.
- That's right? Why would you say that? - Aniq, give me a minute.
- What? - Just one minute.
- One minute? We don't have-- - [Danner] Give me--
Look, there's no way that you know for sure that Grace did it.
- We have our killer. It's Grace. - Yes.
And I'm taking her in. And may God have mercy on her soul.
- How do you know I didn't do it? - [sighs]
Because I killed the dog.
- You killed Colonel? - I think.
- No, you didn't. - Oh, but I'm pretty sure I did.
I assure you, Colonel is not dead. Little shit will not die.
Third time he had cancer, thought he died, buried him.
Horrible bastard dug his way out.
Popped right out.
- Colonel. Colonel! Come on. - No. No, no, no!
[whispering] Oh, my God. [gasps]
Can't kill the little fucker.
But how? I threw him out the window.
I have a theory.
And it would explain what Edgar said right before he died.
Zoë threw the dog out the window, and it landed on Isabel's trampoline.
You bounding hound of hell!
[Danner] That's what Edgar saw.
[laughing, whimpering]
Amazing.
No one else?
You got nine lives, don't you, little one?
- [growls] - [shouts]
What a piece of shit.
Anyway, you don't have evidence. Just motive.
And there isn't anyone here who doesn't have a motive.
Doesn't have motive.
[gasps] No motive.
Yep, and if there's another Isabel situation...
- We're looking in the wrong place. - Yeah.
[both] We gotta get the footage.
[Howie] Hey! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
I'm not gonna stand around while you two ding-dongs play detective.
This is over.
Uh, fine. Zoë didn't do it.
Grace didn't do it. I did it.
Son of a bitch. I know what you're trying to do.
- And it's not gonna work. - Mm-mmm.
I'm taking her in.
- I also killed him. - [sighs]
I also killed Edgar.
This is just getting absurd.
As the Zulu say, "Death is a robe that all men must wear."
I strangled him with my bare hands.
- He was poisoned. - I poisoned Edgar with my bare hands.
This is not some Agatha Christie bullshit.
- A man is dead. - [Isabel] Mmm.
Well, then I guess you'll have to take all of us in
because I also killed Edgar.
I wish I could have killed him a second time. [spits]
- Dad. - Sorry, got carried away.
For the record, I didn't kill him.
For the record, I did kill him.
And it's because I'm in love with Grace. And I didn't tell you guys everything.
And you're-- you're gonna go, "Oh, I told you everything." I didn't.
When we were in Amsterdam, Grace and I,
we got really high on those brownies, and I started freaking out.
And then you talked me down, and you rubbed my back all afternoon,
making sure that I was okay.
Kind of like she did for Travis,
but in this case, it was special and she meant it.
And then, in that moment, our souls intertwined,
never to come apart again.
- And then I threw up in a canal. - Enough.
Howie, take the girl in.
[Hannah] No.
- [Aniq] Well, no, you can't. - Don't touch Grace.
This got messy real quick, huh?
But ex-cop to current cop, you just heard a bunch of confessions.
When the press gets ahold of this,
and best believe it will get to the press, and it'll be saying,
"Sheriff Reardon heard multiple confessions to a murder and ignored it all
because his good friend, Isabel Minnows, told him to."
Fine. [sighs]
I'll give you five minutes to convince me that somebody other than the bride did it.
But you better be goddamn convincing,
or else I'm taking all of you in for obstruction of justice.
Aniq, you do know who actually did it, right?
Yes, I do. Absolutely.
There's just a video from Kyler we need to see again.
Who the fuck is Kyler?
You tell me which video. I'll pull it up on the phone.
All right. To kill someone, you need means, motive and opportunity.
Now everyone here had means: the flowers from Hannah's garden.
And everyone had opportunity, 'cause you all were at the after-party.
Except for Zoë.
You were upstairs in the bedroom throwing a dog out the window.
- Again, I'm so sorry. - You're not sorry.
And also, everyone here had a motive.
Isabel, the betrayed mother.
Sebastian, the fired partner.
Hannah, the lovesick sister.
Travis, the jealous ex-boyfriend.
And you got Ulysses, the wanderer who hates rich guys.
Feng, the father-in-law who's secretly broke.
Vivian, the mother-in-law who has her secret.
Zoë, the doubting sister-in-law.
And Grace, the not-so-in-love bride.
- Four minutes. - [Aniq] Yep.
But one person had the strongest motive of all.
And that's the person who did it.
[gasps]
- [both] Ulysses. - [scoffs]
- What? - Funcle Ulysses?
So, you think I killed Edgar because I hate rich guys?
- A pretty weak-sauce motive, isn't it? - You're right.
If you think he's right, why do you think I would want to kill Edgar?
You didn't.
See, it's just like Feng said to me earlier.
It wasn't about Edgar.
- It was about Vivian. - What?
And like Isabel said, the poison reached the wrong target.
You were trying to kill Feng.
[guests gasp, murmuring]
Vivian, after the rehearsal dinner, you met Ulysses under the weeping willow.
It's okay. We all know about the affair.
- What affair? - My affair with Grace.
[Danner] No, not that one.
I believe she's referring to my clandestine contretemps with Isabel.
You took a cooking class with Isabel?
Nope. Everybody already knows about that affair.
What? Really?
- My little Sebby, I told them everything. - Oh, God.
Vivian and Ulysses had an affair years ago.
Goddamn, you're a handsy bunch.
Vivian, we need to know what happened.
I--
I went to talk to Ulysses in private.
What are you doing here?
Why did you come?
Oh, Vivian.
Vivian, I have tried.
I have tried to forget you,
but after all these years, I--
I can't do it.
You fool. Don't say that.
I have run around the world to escape my feelings.
But I am tired of running.
Be with me.
Ulysses!
Darling, you don't have to pretend anymore.
Your children are grown.
You don't have to stay with silly old Feng.
He is not silly.
He's kind.
He's sweet.
He's funny.
He is generous.
And he's brave.
He's brave enough to give me a second chance.
A chance I probably don't deserve.
And I will never leave him.
[footsteps approaching]
What's going on here?
How dare you talk to my wife alone in the dark?
I was just telling him he should go.
[dramatic soap opera melody playing]
Okay, that's plenty. Thank you.
I love my husband.
I made all my mistakes all those years ago, but I chose him.
And I never regret it for a second.
All right. So, if Vivian was never going to leave Feng,
the only way to be with her was to get him out of the picture.
[Aniq] So, you went back to your campsite, rejected and angry.
You saw the flower arrangements were still on the barn tables
because Vivian didn't take them until the next morning,
and you recognized the devil's trumpet.
[patient coughing]
[Danner] Because you know all about flowers from your travels.
Devil's trumpet. I've only heard of it used as a psychotropic aid.
[Aniq] So you made your move.
Hatch a plan so you could kill Feng, swoop in and take his place.
[scoffs]
All you had do was brew the flowers into a concentrated tea.
I was outside all night.
I didn't go into the house till the after-party.
When do you think I procured this teapot and hot water?
Well, the teapot was your horn,
and the hot water...
[singing in Tagalog]
...came from our shower.
[Danner] So, once you had your horn tea,
at the after-party you poured yourself a glass of whiskey
and one for Feng, with some added devil's trumpet.
That is not what I was doing.
I told you it was something else.
Right. A paternity test.
- Paternity test? - I asked them not to tell you,
- but I had to be certain, Grace. - [gasps] Oh!
[Aniq] The thing is,
if you were doing a paternity test, you were doing it on the wrong glass.
Sebastian said he saw you messing with a whiskey glass.
Everything all right, kemosabe?
What can I get you?
A rosé please, and a whiskey for my husband.
[Aniq] But Grace was drinking rosé at the after-party.
She doesn't even like whiskey.
Also, I really think whiskey tastes like drinking a catcher's mitt.
- Mmm. - [splashes]
See, once it turned into a murder investigation,
I think you realized Slick Rick seen you messing with the drinks behind the bar,
so you had to come up with a story, baby.
So you invented the idea of a fake paternity test.
You knew Grace wasn't your daughter, but you could pretend to have doubts.
Oh.
[Ulysses] I might be Grace's father.
Is she mine?
So you told us you asked Vivian about it,
but in Vivian's version, there is no mention of paternity.
But I am tired of running.
Be with me.
All you needed to sell the story was a Q-tip and a Ziploc bag.
[laughs]
Shower tea, stolen Q-tips.
This is all becoming absurdly far-fetched.
You poisoned Feng's drink at that bar, then gave it to him,
and in your story you said he took a sip
and then went over to Edgar to show him his bing thing.
To a better future.
And burying the past.
[glasses clink]
But I don't think Feng actually drank with you.
I think Feng accidentally switched glasses with Edgar.
- You think? - Thank you.
Actually, I don't remember.
[Danner] Well, there's footage.
See, Feng's social media guy, Kyler, he got some.
- Zoë, you got it? - Yeah. Edgar's got a TV in his office.
I think we can all cram in there.
I have a TV here.
- [all exclaiming, clamoring] - See. That's good, right?
[Howie] Don't you ever do anything normal?
So now we're watching a teenager's video.
- Zo-Zo, press input. - Dad, I'm doing that.
- Zo, I think if you push HDMI-- - No, just go to the Apple TV.
- If you go in to Input, yeah. - I'm doing that.
- Input. HDMI3-- - [clamoring continues]
- You know what? Shut up! I got it. - [clamoring stops]
Give 'em hell, Mr. Feng.
[Aniq] Right here, Ulysses gives the glass with the poison in it to Feng.
And Feng put that glass down in front of Edgar's.
Okay, now pay attention here coming up,
'cause if we're right, just after Edgar didn't like the bing...
I don't l-like it.
...which is wild to me 'cause, like, how could you not like it, you know?
I mean it's, like, sweet, but it's fruity and it's milky.
- It's a perfect marriage of all those-- - [sighs] Aniq.
Yes. Okay. Sorry.
Right... here.
She hates it.
[Feng on video] I appreciate your candor. Thank you.
[Aniq] Zoë, pause it.
And... there. See?
He picked up the wrong glass,
accidentally leaving the poison with Edgar.
Well, son of a bitch.
[Aniq] So Edgar drank from the poisoned glass.
So did Roxana.
[Danner] And Feng drank out of the glass that Grace had slipped the Adderall into.
- Kyler! Kyler! Hey, are you recording? - [yawning]
[Danner] Look at that. That is a man that is high off of Adderall.
Up all night.
How can we sleep when I have so many new ideas for the business?
Ulysses went to bed Saturday night thinking he had poisoned Feng.
So the next morning, when he heard a woman scream...
[Grace screaming]
- ...he assumed it was Vivian... - [shells crunching]
...having discovered Feng's dead body.
And Travis said he remembered the crunch, crunch, crunch
of someone running on pistachio shells,
but that was Ulysses
running past Travis, past Grace's bedroom,
right to Vivian's door, where he thought he heard the scream.
[Vivian] Oh, that's right.
When I opened the door, Ulysses was there,
and when he saw Feng, he-- he looked like he saw a ghost.
I heard a scream.
Okay, okay, K-Kyler, I gotta go. Kyler.
Oh, boy. Are you done?
What else can we say? W-We-- We just nailed that, man.
[Howie] Really? Because nothing you presented is evidence.
It's all completely circumstantial.
The-- The glasses were-- were switched. We just showed that in the video.
We found a teapot
hidden in a cabinet in the bathroom of the bride and the deceased.
Well, what do we have here, huh?
Actual evidence found by actual police.
Now, if the man wanted to make a flower tea in the shower,
why would Grace hide the teapot in a cabinet?
I did not--
Maybe it's because you two poseurs were playing detective while the real cops--
Poseur?
Say that to my face.
- Oh. - I don't like to repeat myself.
I hid the teapot.
No, I hid the teapot with my bare hands.
- No, Travis. I really hid the teapot. - What the fuck? Why?
I found it in your room,
and once I knew the poison was tea,
I-- I was just worried it would look bad for you.
Did you-- Did you think I did it?
No, I would never-- Look.
Hey. No, no--
- What the-- Zoë, stop. Zoë! - [Travis] Oh!
That was way more than a sip.
See? I believe you.
I know in my heart that there isn't poison in here.
- You're so fucking nuts, Zo. - I really am. Come here.
[both sigh]
Let me drink from your horn.
You, of all people, should know it's a traditional Georgian kantsi.
- Let me drink from your kantsi. - [Ulysses] It's empty.
I used the last bit of koumiss for the Dutch babies.
Then let me have it.
I will fill it with Isabel's gin.
What? What's happening? What's happening?
Well, if there's no poison in it, then there's no problem, right?
- What? No-- [indistinct] - Vivian.
Fine.
But this is ridiculous.
Great.
There is no reason for you to stop me.
Oh, this is really top-shelf hooch.
- [Vivian] Thank you. - [Isabel] Oh, yeah.
[softly] It's okay. It's okay.
I believed in you.
- [Ulysses] Stop. - [Feng, Zoë] No, no!
- No, no, no, no. - [Travis gasps]
Why?
I loved you.
I truly loved you.
And I loved you with a passion
that my meek brother could never be capable of feeling.
I know you felt it too.
But you couldn't be honest with yourself.
And that's why I had to help you move on.
We could have had the rest of our lives together.
A life of adventure,
and excitement and romance.
And you wouldn't be stuck with this boring, pathetic--
- [Feng grunts] - [onlookers gasp]
[pants]
Wow.
[police radio chatter]
[Hannah] Got your killer, buddy.
- You're up there in heaven. - [car door closes]
Told you it wasn't me.
Grace, I would like to apologize for accusing you of murder
over and over and over again all day today.
Okay.
[Isabel] And while I am deeply sorry,
if you think being married to my boy for a few hours
gives you sole possession of his fortune,
well, you'll be hearing from our lawyers.
- [Sebastian] And you won't win. - No.
Because we can afford much, much better lawyers than you.
Well, I don't really want any of your colonizer fortune,
so I'm good, yeah.
There we go. Finally.
This does give me a million dollars though, right?
You said that.
- Dad? - [Feng] Hmm?
Um, how much money did you say you needed to get your truck back?
- Really? - Like a million dollars? Isn't that what--
No, I'll pay you back every cent!
- [Grace] No, don't! - [Feng laughing]
[Vivian mouthing words] Thank you.
[cell phone chimes]
Someone's just sent me an article about Edgar's death.
- [sighs] - It's public now.
[Isabel] Mmm.
Were you able to sell off all the computer coins?
It was a bit of a fire sale, but I got 62 cents on the dollar.
- Pretty lucky that happened before-- - [cell phone chimes]
- What? - What?
Bucephalus, it's-- it's going up. And up.
It's worth three times more than when I sold it.
Oh, you know what that is?
That was me telling my Reddit army to invest in Bucephalus.
Yeah, I know how to pronounce it.
I became the house.
Well, you're fired. Pack your bags and go.
- Uh... [scoffs] ...Isabel, come now. - Hmm?
- I could be your companion. - Mmm.
Theater trips. The odd dinner.
As long as we agree to keep it strictly to hand stuff in the bedroom,
I think there could be a goer.
I already have a dog that refuses to die.
[in American accent] Oh, fart in a jar.
We wanted to thank you for saving Grace.
Oh. Save-- Saving Grace. That's my one saving grace.
[stammering] 'Cause th-the idiom, it was s-- "saving grace."
Because Grace is saved. So, that's--
So, she's saved, and I-- and I helped. But you know that.
I'm trying to make a nice moment. Don't ruin it.
Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm-I'm still nervous around you.
- I don't know if you can tell. - [chuckles]
Aniq, I know how hard it was for you
to ask me to talk with Zoë and Grace about what happened.
Yes, that is a conversation I didn't wanna have...
- [Vivian] Mmm. - ...believe you me, but--
[Feng] Same thing with me and my business.
And because of you, I talked to Vivian about my struggles.
And I should have talked to her earlier.
- Oh. - [Feng] She's my partner.
Aniq, you'll be a good husband to Zoë.
If that were to happen someday.
Funny you should mention it,
'cause I was actually planning to propose to Zoë very soon.
But, you know, with everything that's happened,
I can't imagine a wedding is very appealing to her.
- You never know. - You never know.
You okay? This is pretty heavy.
Yeah. No, no, no. I-I-- I'm okay.
I guess I just didn't even know my uncle anymore. [chuckles]
He was more of an idea than a-a person to me.
Honestly, I'm more shaken about my mom having had an affair.
Just so you know, I-I never really thought that Grace could have killed Edgar.
- [Zoë] Oh, yeah, totally. - Yeah. [mumbles]
I mean, I may have had a slight doubt.
- The smallest of doubts. - Just for a second.
But I guess this weekend has made me reexamine what love is, you know,
and-- and what's important and what I want for the rest of my life.
Yeah, m-me too.
And this might not be the right time or place to talk about this,
but, um, life is short and--
Are you breaking up with me?
No! No, no, no.
I'm saying I like who I am when I'm with you,
and there's no one I'd rather go through a murder with than you.
- I feel the same. [chuckles] - [chuckles]
But we are hoping that's it for murders, right?
What I'm saying is,
will you marry me?
No way!
What? Don't you want to--
Oh, no. Not "no way" like "no way."
"No way" like, "N-No way! I was gonna propose to you!"
- No way. - I was gonna do it on the way home,
- at the place where we first kissed. - Aw.
I've been trying to get your parents' blessing this whole weekend,
and I finally just got it.
I'm sorry. I didn't realize you had this, like, whole plan.
I'll just retract it and wait.
Nah, but now you know it's coming, so, you know, it won't be a surprise.
I mean, plus, you already asked.
Well, I'm "un-asking."
Well, don't "un-ask."
You know, I'm not gonna push you into, like, what I think the proposal should be.
- Do you have a real ring? - Yeah, in the glove box.
- Really? - Yeah.
Go get it and ask.
No, but it would ruin the surprise, because--
Will you marry me?
You don't have a ring.
That's true. I don't. But, you know what, I can-- I can make one just like you did.
Out of the vines, exactly like you did.
Well, not exactly like you did. How'd you do that?
Tell you what. Let's make a deal.
At some point in the next month, when we least expect it,
one of us will surprise propose, okay?
- That sounds fair. - Awesome.
- Great. - Cool.
- Wonderful. - Deal.
Cool.
[both] Will you marry me? [laughing]
Okay. Oh, you saw what I was doing there? Okay. Well--
- Are you gonna propose right now? - [laughs]
Thanks for all your help. It was really nice to be partners.
Yeah, it was good getting back in the saddle,
listening to mind movies and solving a murder.
And I saw you two over there.
I told you I'd get you your Hollywood ending.
[all chuckle]
[sighs]
Guess I'll get back to writing my book now.
[Aniq] You know, I never understood.
Why are you writing a book when your whole thing is mind movies?
Right this way.
- [Danner gasps] Zoë! Aniq! - Hi! [squeals]
- [Aniq] Hey! - This is so cool!
- Mwah! Mwah! - Oh! Oh!
- I'm all Hollywood now. - [Aniq] Oh, okay.
[both] Mwah! Mwah!
[both laugh]
Let me see those rings.
- Um, these rings? - Yes!
- Oh, look at you! You two are the cutest! - [Aniq, Zoë chuckle]
Wait. Now, did I read online that you guys got Daniel Radcliffe to play Xavier?
[Danner] Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
And wait till you see who's playing me.
[director] And action!
I wanna talk to all of you,
because any one of you could be the murderer.
- She's so good, right? - Amazing!
Yeah. All the casting is so on point.
[Keke Palmer] You all came to your high school reunion for a second chance.
At love. Life. Something else.
I don't think Aniq did it.
Aniq? No. Aniq's my best friend. I know he didn't do it.
Th-The person playing me, i-is-- is that who I think it is?
- [Danner] Mm-hmm. - I didn't kill him. I didn't kill anybody.
[director] Cut!
I told y'all I love me some Jaleel White.
And you two aren't the only ones with the happy Hollywood ending.
I'm engaged. [giggles]
[both] Wait, what?
- Hey, how'd I do? - [gasps] Amazing.
[both] Mmm. [moaning]
Danner's engaged to Jaleel White?
[Danner] You so fine.
I feel so very uncomfortable.