[opening theme music playing]
[chuckles]
-Whoa! -[both scream]
Ah! [screams]
[Norma laughing]
-Ah! No! -Huh?
Ah!
Ouch!
-[Barney yells] -[Norma laughs]
Phew.
-Hey! -[all scream]
[mysterious music playing]
[Norma] There.
Every single piece of evidence for the disappearance of Jennifer Swan.
What do you think?
[Barney] Could you just zoom out a bit?
[Norma] Oh, sure.
Today's the day we solve it.
She was in the In-between and we got out of there alive,
so maybe she can, too.
Oh, good thinking.
Yeah!
Well, you have fun with that.
Wait, you're not going to help?
Ugh, I'd love to, but I kinda have that thing with my family.
Hopefully I can smooth things out.
I can't wait to get my scratches!
Are you sure you don't want to tell them you can talk?
Scratches first.
Mom and Dad know how to scratch my belly just right.
Hey, what's wrong with my scratches?
-[gasps] -[grunting]
Oh, your scratches are fine.
[scoffs] Fine?
-[grunting] -Uh, Courtney!
Want to help me solve a…
-What's that? -Sorry, busy!
Stuff. [chuckles] Laters.
[groans]
[thudding]
Fine, I'll do this on my own. [yelps]
On your own? Want company? What are we doing?
Uh, you wouldn't be interested.
I'm solving a disappearance.
[whispers] Possibly a murder.
If investigating a murder is the only way to hang out with you, then fine!
Where are we heading first, boss?
Uh, to meet an informant.
And I suppose every great detective has to have a sidekick.
You mean partner.
No, I don't.
[suspenseful music playing]
-[wind blowing] -[insects chirping]
[dramatic Western music playing]
[glasses clink]
Barney!
[jaunty piano music playing]
Patrick!
-Hey! -[Pugsley barks]
-Pugsley! -Uh, hi…
[chuckles nervously]
[clears throat]
[both chuckle nervously]
I'll get you good, Justifer Jones!
-Oh! Yah! -[grunts]
[chuckles nervously]
-So, uh, how have you been? -Uh, Pugsley can talk!
-Barney! -Pugsley!
-Mom! -Patrick!
[grunts]
Bread?
[suspenseful music playing]
[birds chirping]
Thank you for coming, Vince.
Thank you for calling my teacher and pretending to be my mom.
So you believe me now?
[Norma] I believe in examining all possible evidence.
However dubious.
[both grunting]
You know, this looks way more suspicious than if you just talk face-to-face.
[Vince] Whatever you do, don't trust anybody.
Thank you. It's good to know there's someone here I can trust.
So, what's the magazine?
[Norma] Uh, well, Pauline's former stunt double, Barborah Winslow,
claimed that she was the real Pauline for years,
that she stole her career.
The two used to be inseparable, but they fell out filming some TV ad.
And what's she got to do with Jennifer's disappearance?
Barborah is crazy.
She hates Pauline.
Maybe she wanted to blackmail her by kidnapping an employee
or maybe Barborah kidnapped Jennifer thinking that she was Pauline.
Uh, Norma, I think it's pronounced Barbara.
It's written Barborah.
Barborah isn't a name.
Well, whatever. I hate her.
She spent her life trying to bring down Pauline.
So she's my primary suspect.
I don't know. Jennifer was so nice.
It's hard to think anybody would do that over a feud.
Wait. You knew her?
Well, yeah, I do that employee initiation day for everyone.
Even the impersonators.
Do you remember the last thing Jennifer said to you?
Sure, she said…
"Bye!"
Before that!
Hmm, "I've gotta go now."
Badyah, can you rewind a little more?
She said… Oh! "Hi. My name is Jennifer."
Okay, so I didn't know her that well!
Do you know who did?
[static]
It's the best, most expensive life insurance option on the market.
I'm fine. Just a scratch!
-What was that? -[Badyah] Hey, Norma, you coming?
[muffled techno music playing]
Welcome, darlings, to the Hall of Ex-Husbands!
Husband number one, tiger dentist Chester Cole!
Husband number two, baked bean mogul Clinton Jones.
Husband number three, Swedish pop sensation Jonas Tornqvist.
Could never wrap my tongue around that one!
Husband number four, well, it's our old pal Chester Cole again,
back from faking his own death for tax purposes.
Unfortunately for him, he forgot his parachute the second time around.
No!
[wedding music playing]
[lip-synching] Forget about diamonds!
Prenups are a girl's best friend,
and maybe, one day, you too
can be an ex-husband of Pauline Phoenix!
[gasps]
Norma, wait, it's her wedding day!
[eerie music playing]
-Ouch! -[all gasping]
Excuse me. This is a Paulines-only area!
Gold pass and I have questions.
No, [sighs] none of us are the real Pauline!
Though some of us act like we are.
Don't be jealous just because I'm her favorite.
No, it's about Jennifer Swan.
Second favorite then.
Pauline had her eyes on Jennifer from the day she started.
What do you mean?
Pauline watches us like a hawk.
She checks our every move.
She watches you?
Oh, yes. She ranks us from best to worst.
Making sure we pull off her flawlessness flawlessly.
And when you reach the top, the reward is to die for.
So, how does she track you?
You're holding it, but keep it to yourself, darling.
[suspenseful music playing]
[piano music playing]
[imitates shooting noises]
Ow! [screams]
What would you like, sweetie?
Hmm. I kind of want the High Noon hamburger,
but I know you guys would rather I have a Say Your Prayers salad.
You live your authentic truth, honey.
If having the burger makes you happy, we fully support you.
Ugh.
Are you rolling your eyes at your mother?
She says she supports you.
Uh, waiter, can I get a glass of toilet water?
[imitates comedy cymbals, laughs]
'Cause I'm a dog. [chuckles]
Oh, oh, oh. Mmm.
Whoa… More.
[military music playing]
July 22nd, 7:15 a.m.
She enters the park.
7:20, skinny latte from the Main Street coffee machine.
-7:25, Scare Square. -[digital beeping]
Wow. This is so creepy and thorough.
And there!
Dead End lobby, stairs, hallways,
Hall of Mirrors, and then nothing?
It's like we thought. She just vanished.
Who else would have been in Dead End that day?
[gasps]
[birds chirping]
[Courtney imitating Barney] Courtney, would you care for another cup of gravel?
[in normal voice] Oh, you're too kind, Barney.
[imitates Barney] Two sugars?
[in normal voice] Please.
[imitates Barney] There you go, dear.
[in normal voice] So kind of you.
[imitates Barney] Oh, please, it is my absolute pleasure.
-[in normal voice] You are such a delight. -Uh, Courtney?
Oh, uh, hello!
I guess we don't knock on this plane anymore.
Aw, are you scared that Barney meeting his parents means he's gonna move out?
Oh! That is so adorable and tragic.
I got used to having roomies, okay?
Haven't met anybody else in this dump for a year.
I started talking to myself and, man, I'm so rude.
[slurping]
So, you were here when Jennifer disappeared?
[munches] Sure.
[dramatic music playing]
I didn't do it, if that's what you're asking.
We can't rule out any suspect.
[mockingly] Oh, I'm hurt, Norma.
I'm bleeding.
The day we met you, you tried to sacrifice us to a demon king.
[teary] But I've had so much character development since then!
Tell us everything you know about Jennifer's disappearance,
or we tell everyone about your little tea party.
Fine!
So, she ran up these stairs.
[whimpers]
[gasps and whimpers]
And, uh, then she ran through here.
[panting]
And then she turned this way.
[whimpering and panting]
-[Courtney screams] -[both gasp]
[both] Courtney!
Are you okay?
Uh, yeah, we're doing a re-creation, right?
So, she went through this door and then she was like… [screams]
You didn't go to see what was happening?
What was chasing her?
My toast had just popped.
-[dramatic music playing] -I had other plans.
And those Pauline look-alikes go missing all the time.
I didn't realize it was a big deal.
Ugh, Courtney. That's so…
Wait, what?
Ain't you seen the posters?
[gasps] Pauline is doing a concert in the park!
Oh, my ghosts! Do we get free tickets?
Norma, focus!
[sinister music playing]
See, they all disappear eventually.
Norma, how did we not know this?
"Any information, please speak to the chief custodian."
Oh, uh, uh, you have it.
No, you.
No. You have it.
No, you have it.
Please. I insist.
Just take the lousy nacho, Barney!
Saul, calm down, please!
[Barney] Oh, that's right.
I should be more upfront about what I need.
And what you need is a nacho?
[sighs] Anyhow, I was so happy you invited us--
Look, you say I can have the nachos,
but then I get the nachos
and you start talking about how you wish I got the broccoli.
What are you talking about?
We gave you nachos and the mozzarella dips and the cheese fries!
We've let you have everything you want.
Some kids don't have half as many nachos as you do!
Sit down, why don't you?
Your father is right.
You could be a little more thankful.
Am I supposed to thank you for everything?
Oh, thank you for these cheese fries.
Oh, thank you for the cornbread.
It's divine. Thanks for giving birth to me!
You're welcome! It wasn't easy, you know!
What's this got to do with nachos?
[eerie music playing]
[Norma] Uh, excuse me.
Uh, Miss Custodian Lady?
What? Can't you see I'm busy?
It's about the disappearances, uh, before Jennifer.
Why are all those Pauline impersonators missing?
[woman] They're not.
But the posters!
Have you looked at 'em? Really looked at 'em?
Don't those faces look familiar to you?
[gasps] Oh, my ghosts, [stammers] it's them.
The Pauline impersonators.
Nice observation.
Nice compliment.
But why didn't they mention it to us?
'Cause they're scared.
I've tried talking to them, but they don't want to listen!
This goes all the way to the top!
To the top?
Okay. So, first, Jennifer Swan disappears on a radar,
then that weird insurance ad is playing at the museum
and, finally, missing people aren't missing?
Nothing's making sense!
Insurance ad?
I know, right?
I've seen every single second of Pauline's catalog,
but I never saw that.
I… I have to go.
-I got a shift at the museum. -[ominous music playing]
Look, I don't care about the mozzarella dip.
-I don't care about the fries! -[Saul] Of course you don't.
-I can't believe we stayed here for this. -You're so ungrateful!
[Patrick] Can you guys all cool it?
We can order more nachos!
[sighs] I don't get it. We accepted you.
That is what parents are supposed to do.
That's the bare minimum.
What about that dinner?
[stammers] What dinner?
You know what dinner.
You just let Grammy Gram say all that stuff to me right to my face!
Oh, honey buns. We all know Grammy Grams is difficult.
Does it matter what she says?
Uh, yeah, and what's worse, you didn't even stand up for me!
Oh, she wouldn't understand.
-You don't understand! -[objects clattering]
Sir, if you're gonna do that again, I'm gonna have to ask you to leave.
But everyone else was doing it.
They're actors.
Well, that's just confusing.
Yeah, you're setting a bad example.
Agreed.
[gasps] Barney!
Norma?
Barney, we figured it out!
Excuse me. We're having a family discussion.
Oh, sorry, we didn't mean to--
So are we.
[somber music playing]
[sighs] Come along, Patrick.
Look, guys. I apologize for running away and not telling you.
-That was wrong. -Then come home.
You've…
You've got to make it one first.
Hey, you can have this if you want.
[military music playing]
So, after an extensive and very thorough investigation,
I think it's obvious the culprit is none other
than Pauline's ex-stunt double Barborah.
[Badyah] What?
-[record scratch] -Norma, really?
Well, who else could it be?
[all] Pauline!
What?
She's tracking everyone's movements.
All the victims are her look-alikes.
She has access to the whole park.
She's a rich white lady, and they can be the worst.
It's obviously Pauline, so case closed.
No, case not closed because Jennifer Swan is still missing.
Um, are you sure?
[mic feedback whines]
Jennifer? Jennifer Swan?
Uh, well, honey, 'round here, they call me Pauline.
You want an autograph?
What I'd like is an explanation, Jennifer Swan.
[chuckles nervously] Have we met?
Yes! In the In-between.
Where have you been? Who took you? [gasps] Was it Barborah?
I can't say! She told me not to.
And [hesitating] I never would anyway.
-I got-- -Who said that?
[waiter] That's it.
Out!
Huh?
Oh.
Are you okay, Norma?
I need to be alone.
Norma!
For what it's worth, you make a pretty good detective.
[chuckles] And you make a pretty good sidekick.
[whimpering]
[footsteps approaching]
Hey, you okay?
No. You?
[scoffs] Nope.
Oh, you left this at the restaurant.
[Barney] At least we can draw a line under the whole Jennifer thing.
No one's missing after all.
[chuckles] Funny how sometimes the things we're looking for
are right in front of us.
[gasps] Wait a minute!
Really looked at 'em?
Insurance ad?
I got a shift at the museum.
[gasps] The museum!
Norma, wait. What's going on at the museum?
[sinister music playing]
[gasps]
[Barney] The custodian.
Why don't you call her by her real name. Barborah!
Thank you.
Everybody calls me Barbara.
[Norma] You've been kidnapping impersonators to blackmail Pauline
and turned away anybody who's come sniffing.
You used to be her friend,
but ever since you fell out shooting that commercial,
you've tried to take Pauline down!
[Barborah] Oh, you don't know Pauline.
She took everything from me.
I've spent years searching for that stupid ad to prove who she really is.
It's hidden somewhere here,
and I'm gonna find it,
and I'm not letting you kids get in my way!
-[TV glitches] -Pugsley?
[warbling]
[Pauline over TV] You love your family.
You make sure they wear their seat belts.
I don't believe it. After all these years of searching!
Finally everyone can see the truth!
To the Spitburgh package by Samsarah Mutual.
Oh, it's the best,
most expensive life insurance option on the market.
Sign up… [static]
[thudding]
[wind blowing]
[ominous music playing]
[whooshing]
[music box playing]
[sinister music playing]
Hello, my darlings!
[gasps] Pauline?
[echoing] In the flesh. [chuckles]
Well, kind of.
Sore subject, actually.
What is happening?
So you finally show your true colors!
Green is not my color,
and I can't let anyone see that unfortunate footage.
I said [distorted] don't touch it!
[Barborah grunts]
[grunting] Leave those kids alone!
Outta my way!
What a stunt! You still got it, Barb!
Pugsley!
[grunting]
[grunts]
Norma, uh, help!
Hey, you all left me behind to pay the restaurant tab.
Courtney, not now!
-Whoa, cool. -[yelps]
-[grunting] -[both scream]
[cackling]
What's so funny?
You're too late!
You. You were just buying time!
[laughs]
[growling]
Run!
[panting]
No, no!
[static]
[theme music playing]