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SEBUAH SIRI NETFLIX
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- Tidak!
- Apa?
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Aduh!
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Hei!
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Apa ertinya benar-benar kesunyian?
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00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:04,043
Sudah bertahun-tahun
saya merenung soalan itu,
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mundar-mandir di rumah sehingga dinihari,
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ditemani bunyi tapak kaki berkeriut
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dan bisikan angin menerusi cucur atap.
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Namun, hati saya kesunyian.
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Patience!
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Reginald!
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Kenapa adik belum tidur
lewat malam begini?
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Gadis cantik seperti awak
patut berehat di kamar
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tatkala burung rindu malam
dendangkan iramanya.
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Pak cik setuju?
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Saya tiada hak menyetujui
atau tidak pilihan manusia
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kerana saya bukan lagi manusia.
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Apabila muncul bulan purnama
dari balik awan,
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kamu berdua akan nampak.
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Mildred pun akan nampak!
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Patience, saya tak boleh tidur.
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Sepupu Gail, awak patut dah lama tidur.
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Maaflah, saya alami mimpi ngeri.
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Nampak ahli sihir, gargoil dan komunis.
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Oh hantuku, Patience.
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Ada yang tak kena.
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Kamu tak sepatutnya berada di sini.
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Sudahlah, pergilah sambung tidur.
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Biar saya hantarkan susu
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dan tolong tidurkan awak.
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Ini salah. Kamu tak patut ada di sini.
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Kamu semua tak sepatutnya ada di sini!
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Barney! Jangan pakaikan baju
semasa saya tidur!
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Pakaikan baju?
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Siapa Barney yang pak cik maksudkan?
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Apa? Barney, bangun!
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Pugsley!
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Pugsley, sakitlah!
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Kenapa awak hitam putih?
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Kenapa semuanya hitam putih?
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Nampak sama saja. Rasanya kita masuk TV.
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TV? Tapi ini tak nampak
macam iklan insurans Pauline.
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Saya baru tidurkan cik puan.
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Terima kasih, Mildred.
Pergi gilap barang perak.
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Sekali lagi?
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Hei, Norma! Macam mana kita nak balik?
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Apa itu? Siapa mereka?
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Awak hias semula! Cantiknya dinding ini.
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Pugsley, ini dinding keempat.
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Mungkin ini jalan keluar?
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Barney, datang balik! Tidak! Alamak!
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BAB 8
PENGALAMAN PAULINE PHOENIX
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Aduh! Patutlah orang tak buat
pakaian besi.
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- Ini pun filem Pauline.
- Beta bukan ratu yang tak munasabah.
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Musuh beta akan kata sebaliknya,
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masalahnya mereka dah mati.
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Dia tak pandai tiru loghat.
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Diam!
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Jika kamu boleh tewaskan Sir Spheroid,
kamu boleh kahwini anak beta.
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Saya bukannya hadiah!
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Melainkan awak kacak atau kaya.
Atau kacak dan kaya!
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Norma?
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Panggil saya Sir Spheroid, dungu.
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Seronoknya!
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Elakkan pedang!
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Terima kasih saja.
Kita perlu tukar saluran!
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Rambut saya yang cantik!
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Barney!
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Tidak! Pelamar saya yang kacak dan kaya!
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Jangan lari!
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Doris Dinamit! Ini saja filem Pauline
yang saya pernah tonton.
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Awak cakap apa, Justifer Jones?
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Hei, Pauline!
Saya cuma kata saya suka filem ini.
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Awak cakap apa, Justifer Jones?
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Takutnya. Jika saya berlakon
sampai penghujung filem,
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kami boleh lari?
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Nak cubalah.
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Awak cakap apa, Justifer Jones?
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Saya tak cakap
dengan orang macam awak, Doris.
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Berani awak tunjuk
muka cantik awak di sini.
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Sumpah, bersaksikan gunung itu,
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saya akan penjarakan awak!
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Wah, pandainya saya berlakon!
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Seingat saya, mula-mula dia bunuh syerif.
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Syerif, nak minum apa?
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SYERIF
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Amboi, itu dia.
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Anderson Aligator.
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Anderson Aligator.
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Anderson Aligator?
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Jadi, awak jumpa saya, Aligator.
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Awak datang ke bar saya.
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Awak nak dijumpai.
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Jangan berlawan di bar saya
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kalau tak mahu dihalau keluar!
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Norma, sedarlah!
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Berhenti!
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Ya tak ya, peluru palsu.
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Ini cuma filem.
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Aduh, tak sangka!
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Tembakan kamu tepat.
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Biar saya ambil batu nisan saya.
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Ayuh pergi dari sini!
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Saya nekad untuk tangkap Doris Dinamit!
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Kenapa perangai awak pelik? Macam…
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- Aduh!
- Ayuh sedarkan Norma dan pergi!
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Tapi keadaan semakin menarik!
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Di mana Pugsley?
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Di sini.
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Tolong jangan ketawa.
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Tak kelakarlah. Saya gayat!
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Itu jalan keluar!
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Hei, siapa kata awak boleh…
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Habis, Norma?
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Dia seronok sangat. Jalan!
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DR. CINTA
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Sebelum ini dalam Dr. Cinta…
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Ayuh, bangunlah!
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Kejutkan pesakit saya?
Dr. Reverend Harvard,
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walaupun awak doktor, reverend
dan pejalan tali tegang terkenal,
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perasaan saya terhadap awak
tak boleh ganggu kerja saya.
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Sekarang saya perlu buat
pembedahan kecemasan
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pada angkasawan
yang juga bekas kembar saya.
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Kenapa saya boleh rawat semua hati,
kecuali hati saya?
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Kenapa saya dapat watak ini?
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- Nak tukar?
- Awak dah sedar!
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Sedar dalam sedar.
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Aduh! Lampu terang!
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Saya rasa semakin lemah.
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Kembali sambung koma tujuh tahun saya.
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Teruknya lakonan awak.
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Awak tahu awak masuk TV? Sejak bila?
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Sejak di Jalan Mati.
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Saya terus tahu.
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Apa? Tapi awak cuba bunuh saya dua kali!
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- Awak tak faham!
- Hei, tunggu!
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Courtney, ayuh!
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Tapi saya suka tempat ini!
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Ada snek yang sedap.
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Cepatlah!
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Saya Troglodyte, Ratu Wanita Gua!
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Disebabkan awak ceroboh kerajaan kami,
awak dihukum mati…
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Norma, dengar sini!
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…oleh Diploduchus!
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Ciuman cinta sejati!
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Awak tak boleh terus lari!
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Saya boleh!
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Bagus. Teruskan, semua!
Sekarang, gapai bintang!
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Ini menguatkan otot perut saya.
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Mujur awak seronok,
tapi boleh awak bantu kami?
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Ini urusan emosi manusia.
Saya tak nak campur.
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Jangan kata "tak boleh", kata "boleh"!
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00:11:42,084 --> 00:11:45,001
Kenapa awak tak nak balik?
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Apabila kita balik, semuanya akan berbeza.
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- Dia berbeza!
- Apa, Pauline?
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Pauline sebenar masih bebas.
Kita perlu halang dia. Tunggu!
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00:12:00,168 --> 00:12:03,209
Awak cakap apa, Justifer Jones?
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Seronoknya!
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- Kamu tak patut ada di sini.
- Diam-diam saja, sayang.
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…dihukum mati!
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Apa? Balik ke sini lagi?
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Norma…
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Diam, Barney.
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Kita perlu balik!
Kita perlu halang Pauline.
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Pergilah. Saya nak tinggal di sini.
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Tapi semua ini tak wujud.
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00:12:38,834 --> 00:12:40,876
Jadi? Tengoklah saya!
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Saya Patience Bonaparte,
tuan rumah Jalan Mati!
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Saya boleh duduk sini dengan Pauline saya!
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Bukan makhluk di muzium itu.
Saya boleh jadi sesiapa yang dia perlukan.
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Seronok lihat rumah ini
dalam keadaan asalnya.
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Saya pun suka rumah ini.
Saya menyorok di sini, macam awak.
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Tapi kita tak boleh lari daripada masalah.
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Larilah daripada saya.
Saya jemu lihat muka awak.
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Nantilah, Courtney.
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"Nantilah, Courtney."
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Awak boleh tinggal di sini
dan jadi orang lain.
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Atau balik dan jadi Norma Khan.
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Awak saja tewaskan syaitan ketakutan,
halang maskot zombi,
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malah tulis semula buku panduan taman.
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Sebab ia hambar
dan terjemahan Rusianya tak bagus.
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Betul! Pauline pun tak pernah
buat semua itu.
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Ia berfungsi!
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Ayuh. Marilah.
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Sebelum pergi, saya perlu lihat sesuatu.
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- Awak hebat sebagai Patience Bonaparte.
- Mujur awak sedar.
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Kenapa upah pelagak ngeri
jika awak nak buat sendiri?
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Duduk buaian bukan lagak ngeri, Barbara.
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Saya Barborah.
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Saya cuma risaukan awak.
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Jika awak buat lagak ngeri,
mesti ada masalah.
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Saya cuma cakap
kerana saya ambil berat dan…
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Ya?
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Awak bukan muda lagi.
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00:14:52,251 --> 00:14:56,668
Yakah? Kalau begitu,
kenapa saya masih dapat watak utama?
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00:14:56,751 --> 00:14:58,918
Ini iklan insurans nyawa.
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Tolong sikit!
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Ini insurans nyawa
yang paling popular dan hebat
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dalam pasaran.
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Saya boleh buat sendiri!
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Suka hati awaklah!
203
00:15:15,084 --> 00:15:18,251
Dunia ini bosan.
Jom balik ke bilik mayat!
204
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:20,418
Ambil tempat masing-masing!
205
00:15:20,501 --> 00:15:25,168
Samsara Mutual,
Pakej Rohani Pauline Phoenix, mula!
206
00:15:25,668 --> 00:15:30,793
Anda sayang keluarga,
suruh pakai tali keledar, cuci makanan,
207
00:15:30,876 --> 00:15:35,584
jadi kenapa anda tak tinggalkan
sesen pun selepas anda mati?
208
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:37,709
Ia boleh berlaku bila-bila
209
00:15:37,793 --> 00:15:41,126
tapi anda tak merancang kerana anda jahat
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dan pentingkan diri.
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00:15:43,626 --> 00:15:50,084
Tapi bukan saya.
Saya ada Pakej Rohani Samsara Mutual.
212
00:15:50,168 --> 00:15:54,834
Ini insurans nyawa terbaik
dan paling mahal di pasaran.
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00:15:54,918 --> 00:15:58,001
Telefon nombor di skrin untuk mendaftar.
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00:15:58,084 --> 00:16:01,834
Kalau anda bayar lebih,
waris anda dapat lebih
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00:16:01,918 --> 00:16:04,418
kerana kita tak hidup selamanya.
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00:16:04,918 --> 00:16:07,376
Termasuklah bintang…
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Berhenti!
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00:16:10,501 --> 00:16:11,668
Pauline!
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- Tidak!
- Pauline! Mana dia?
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00:16:21,376 --> 00:16:23,126
Alamak, kamera saya!
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Pauline! Pauline, tidak!
Pauline, tolonglah sedar!
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Tolonglah!
223
00:16:34,209 --> 00:16:35,043
Apa?
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Boleh tahan.
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00:16:51,293 --> 00:16:55,043
- Tapi giginya teruk.
- Pauline, awak okey?
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00:16:55,126 --> 00:16:58,001
Saya okey! Calar sikit saja.
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00:16:58,751 --> 00:17:02,543
Tiada orang akan tonton rakaman ini.
228
00:17:16,709 --> 00:17:19,668
Kita kembali ke muzium,
tapi hantu itu dah lesap.
229
00:17:19,751 --> 00:17:25,668
- Berapa lama kita di sana?
- Kita nampak Pauline mati!
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00:17:25,751 --> 00:17:30,459
Berdasarkan lagu iklan
yang "radikal" itu, 30 tahun lalu!
231
00:17:30,543 --> 00:17:32,793
Hantu Pauline rasuk Barborah.
232
00:17:33,876 --> 00:17:38,334
Selepas itu,
dia terus rasuk orang lain seiras dia.
233
00:17:39,334 --> 00:17:42,751
Kekal muda dan kekalkan kerjaya.
234
00:17:43,459 --> 00:17:45,834
Jennifer mangsa terbarunya.
235
00:17:56,168 --> 00:17:59,918
Jennifer dah bebas.
Pauline perlukan jasad baru.
236
00:18:00,418 --> 00:18:01,918
Siapa seterusnya?
237
00:18:02,418 --> 00:18:05,293
Tak sangka Pauline sehebat itu.
238
00:18:05,376 --> 00:18:09,709
Patutlah awak suka dia.
Saya nak masuk kelab peminatlah.
239
00:18:09,793 --> 00:18:12,793
Dia gunakan kami. Gunakan peminatnya.
240
00:18:13,668 --> 00:18:15,668
Menipu kami semua!
241
00:18:16,168 --> 00:18:18,709
Ya. Macam saya cakap, hebat.
242
00:18:18,793 --> 00:18:20,293
Ini bukan gurauan.
243
00:18:20,376 --> 00:18:23,084
Saya tak gurau! Rancangannya bijak!
244
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:26,334
Dia manfaatkan kebodohan
dan kepercayaan manusia.
245
00:18:26,418 --> 00:18:30,001
Peminat yang bodoh percaya bulat-bulat.
246
00:18:32,334 --> 00:18:35,084
Tak sangka ada orang sebodoh itu.
247
00:18:37,168 --> 00:18:38,043
Norma?
248
00:18:41,168 --> 00:18:43,334
Sabar, kawan! Bertenang.
249
00:18:43,418 --> 00:18:46,501
Saya main-main. Awak suka saya bergurau!
250
00:18:46,584 --> 00:18:50,251
Ada manusia sedih, jadi awak perlu diam!
251
00:18:50,876 --> 00:18:52,334
Manusia?
252
00:18:52,418 --> 00:18:56,709
Ya, kamu anggap saya lebih hina
daripada kamu, bukan?
253
00:18:57,251 --> 00:19:00,334
Saya tak tahu ini kelab rahsia manusia.
254
00:19:00,418 --> 00:19:02,418
Manusia dan anjing.
255
00:19:02,501 --> 00:19:06,751
Jangan campur hal emosi manusia.
Kami tak perlukan awak.
256
00:19:06,834 --> 00:19:10,918
Pernahkah kamu perlukan saya?
Saya nak pergilah!
257
00:19:13,543 --> 00:19:16,251
- Jangan halang saya!
- Tak halang pun.
258
00:19:22,501 --> 00:19:24,918
Saya tak kisah.
259
00:19:25,001 --> 00:19:28,543
Emosi dan persahabatan kamu memenatkan.
260
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:32,168
Saya hampir nak terpengaruh,
tapi tahu tak?
261
00:19:32,251 --> 00:19:33,334
Tak berhasil!
262
00:19:34,293 --> 00:19:35,501
Tak berhasil.
263
00:19:38,376 --> 00:19:39,959
Betul cakap dia.
264
00:19:40,043 --> 00:19:42,209
Saya cuma peminat bodoh.
265
00:19:46,043 --> 00:19:49,501
Ayuh halang dia
sebelum dia rasuk orang lain.
266
00:19:52,043 --> 00:19:54,293
Hei, merekalah pengkhianat!
267
00:19:56,668 --> 00:20:00,501
"Dilarang seumur hidup?"
Dia buat satu taman menentang kita!
268
00:20:04,376 --> 00:20:07,584
Manusia bodoh dengan masalah bodoh!
269
00:20:07,668 --> 00:20:11,043
Bukan salah saya
kalau dia obses dengan…
270
00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:14,126
- Pauline?
- Hari ini sukar?
271
00:20:14,876 --> 00:20:18,126
Kenapa awak di sini? Bercakap dengan saya?
272
00:20:18,834 --> 00:20:23,501
Saya hilang jasad lama saya
dan perlukan jasad baru.
273
00:20:23,584 --> 00:20:27,251
Jennifer? Dia hebat,
tapi tak mampu bertahan.
274
00:20:27,334 --> 00:20:31,668
Baguslah awak rasa begitu,
tapi jangan kacau saya monyok.
275
00:20:32,251 --> 00:20:33,834
Saya tahu sebabnya.
276
00:20:33,918 --> 00:20:37,501
Budak-budak pengacau itu tak hargai awak.
277
00:20:37,584 --> 00:20:38,918
Bukan macam saya.
278
00:20:39,001 --> 00:20:40,459
Saya peminat awak.
279
00:20:40,543 --> 00:20:44,334
Cara awak kurung Raja Iblis
di dalam anjing itu
280
00:20:44,418 --> 00:20:46,709
menunjukkan bakat, Merah!
281
00:20:46,793 --> 00:20:52,001
Saya dah lama perhatikan awak.
Saya rasa kita boleh saling membantu.
282
00:20:52,084 --> 00:20:54,876
Apa balasan yang saya dapat?
283
00:20:54,959 --> 00:20:58,959
Entahlah, saya bawa awak naik lif itu?
284
00:20:59,043 --> 00:21:01,709
Awak boleh hantar saya pulang?
285
00:21:02,376 --> 00:21:05,918
Mestilah. Ini Taman Phoenix, sayang.
286
00:21:06,001 --> 00:21:08,668
Awak rasa siapa pasang lif itu?
287
00:21:10,209 --> 00:21:11,293
Saya setuju.
288
00:22:16,418 --> 00:22:19,293
Terjemahan sari kata oleh F. Zainal