[opening theme music playing]
[chuckles]
-Whoa! -[both scream]
Ah! [screams]
[Norma laughing]
-Ah! No! -Huh?
Ah!
Ouch!
-[Barney yells] -[Norma laughs]
Phew.
-Hey! -[all scream]
[sighs]
[indistinct chatter]
Okay, we got to be super quiet.
[objects clattering]
[Barney gasps]
[gasps] We're busted.
Wow. Josh is a way better security guard.
We literally never did our jobs.
Oh, come on, Pugsley.
You must have read some kind of spell we could use.
Like a teleport or distraction.
I was practicing one spell, but I was saving it for Barney's birthday.
Aw. Buddy.
[sings anxiously] ♪ Happy Birthday to Barney ♪
♪ Happy Birthday to Barney Happy birthday to you ♪
-Do it. -All right. [inhales] Here goes.
Bippity boopity Patti LuPoney mankin tessori manzela Minnelli!
Well, whatever happened is not happening.
[Josh] ♪ Some… ♪
♪ Somes I think about death ♪
♪ And how many years we've all got left ♪
♪ And how many hours I've spent ♪
♪ Cleaning up puke ♪
What is happening?
Happy birthday.
But…
♪ Days like today Make all those bad days worthwhile ♪
♪ Days like today make me smile ♪
♪ 'Cause at Dead End ♪
♪ I'm heading over to Dead End ♪
♪ Pauline Phoenix is putting on a show And we're invited ♪
♪ Tell all the people you know ♪
[all] ♪ We'll be at Dead End ♪
♪ We got our tickets to Dead End ♪
♪ Pauline Phoenix is gonna do a show ♪
♪ She's still got it ♪
♪ She's still got it, you know, oh, oh ♪
Pugsley? Why is everyone singing?
Oh, no, why am I dancing?
♪ Pugsley, this isn't what I had in mind ♪
Norma, you said distraction. Well, this is my reaction.
A magical musical to help us sneak through.
But I guess it worked too well 'cause we're all under this spell.
Gosh, I really hope it wears off before Act Two.
[all singing] ♪ We'll be at Dead End We've got our tickets to Dead End… ♪
How far reaching is this spell?
Well…
[melancholy music playing]
♪ Well, I've read every book About demons ♪
♪ But I figure there's way more to learn ♪
♪ Down there's a place Where I know I belong ♪
♪ Because demons are meant to burn ♪
♪ Is it true they eat bones For their breakfast? ♪
♪ With maggots instead of milk ♪
♪ Is it true they get dressed With chunks of dead flesh ♪
♪ Instead of business suits Lined with silk? ♪
♪ Down where they hang Draw and quarter ♪
♪ Down where they lie And cheat and torture ♪
♪ Then boil you alive And rip out your spine ♪
♪ Somewhere down there ♪
♪ You know All the best people end up there ♪
♪ Every scoundrel, dictator and cad ♪
♪ I'll be one of the guys With the Lord of the Flies ♪
♪ In Beelzebub's bachelor pad ♪
♪ Is it true they have floors For each sin there? ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm one depraved sinner indeed ♪
♪ You see, deep down inside ♪
♪ I'm envy and pride, wrath Gluttony, sloth, lust and greed ♪
♪ Down where it's molten fire And brimstone ♪
♪ That's where I know that I'm meant to make my home ♪
♪ Where all that you gain Is limitless pain ♪
♪ Somewhere down there… ♪
Oh.
♪ There ♪
[sighs] Are you ready?
Almost. The flies are in the web.
All I have to do now is choose.
[Barney and Norma exclaim]
[Barney whimpers]
No need to be dramatic.
No need for you to be so creepy.
We wouldn't have suspected you if you hadn't been so suspicious.
So you believe me now?
We saw the footage. I'm so sorry.
Don't be sorry. Be ready. Look.
[women practicing vocal scales]
[indistinct chatter]
What is this?
Pauline is holding auditions for her next body.
Bingo.
I'm sorry I doubted you, Barborah. I was just--
Tangled in Pauline's glittery web.
Believe me, I've been there,
and it cost me the best years of my life.
We have to save the next poor soul.
Easy-peasy.
I'll win the audition and get possessed by Pauline,
then you guys can exorcise her out of me.
Uh, it's too risky.
We did it before with Temeluchus.
We can do it again with Pauline. Trust me.
No offense, kid, but I don't see you winning this audition.
Look, Norma will kill it.
You just need a little makeover.
Pugsley, anything in that old memory of yours that could help us out?
This is a lot of magic for one day.
Pugsley, if we don't do something, Pauline will never stop.
Okay. Okay. I'll try my best.
[Pauline] Good afternoon, my darlings.
Show me what you're made of.
[breathes deeply]
[Pauline] Next.
[gasps] Oh, my ghost. I can't believe I'm here.
-You got me through the toughest year-- -[Pauline] Next!
-[inhales] -[Pauline] Wrong.
[sings] ♪ Let it-- ♪
[Pauline] Go! Now! Oh, anything but that.
What's wrong with you?
Can't I find a girl who can actually give me what I'm looking for?
-Heart, soul, the burning passion of a-- -[gasps]
[Pauline] Hello, gorgeous.
Come on, Norma. You can do this.
♪ I'm standing here before my idol ♪
♪ Been your devoted, your disciple ♪
♪ This moment played in my imagination About a hundred thousand times ♪
♪ And all the trademarks that define you ♪
♪ I must have built A trillion shrines to ♪
♪ It's kind of crazy You can still amaze me ♪
♪ I've seen it all so many times ♪
♪ Like, OMG, Pauline ♪
♪ You know that moment in that scene ♪
♪ When you danced your way on the screen ♪
♪ Well, you made me feel so seen ♪
♪ You're my Frankenstein ♪
♪ And I'm your monster ♪
♪ Your films gave me life Like lightning and thunder ♪
♪ Oh, the world can feel like a storm ♪
♪ And my bedroom is the eye ♪
♪ But your face on every wall Keeping me alive ♪
♪ But that was then and this is now ♪
♪ So what do I say? ♪
Norma?
♪ I know too much now I can't see you ♪
♪ The same Pauline who I was drawn to ♪
♪ Your evil games are driving me insane For ever thinking I could trust you ♪
♪ 'Cause now I've found out You're a spirit ♪
♪ What is my life without you in it? ♪
♪ It's kind of messed up ♪
♪ I feel like a break up ♪
♪ Except it's all your fault, not mine! ♪
♪ 'Cause oh my God, Pauline ♪
♪ Why'd you have to let me see The other side of you that screen ♪
♪ You should've stayed Just on the screen ♪
♪ You're my Frankenstein ♪
♪ And I'm your monster ♪
♪ Your films saved my life Like shelter and water ♪
♪ You're my Frankenstein ♪
♪ And I'm your monster ♪
♪ Your reign's crumbling down Like stone and mortar ♪
♪ You're my Frankenstein ♪
[thuds]
[pants]
[Pauline] You. Come to my dressing room. Now.
Well, if it isn't the humans and dogs only club.
Courtney, we're sorry. We need your help.
Too late.
I got a new best friend.
Someone who's actually helping me go home.
[dramatic music playing]
♪ I came to stop you ♪
♪ But now I long to Feel that light again ♪
♪ To hear your siren song ♪
♪ Far too long, far too long I've been trapped in the dark ♪
♪ Release me, release me ♪
♪ Phantom of the theme park ♪
Darling, could you do me a little favor here?
♪ Tell me who are you? ♪
♪ Why you look like my clone ♪
♪ Being this gorgeous I simply assumed I was alone, but you-- ♪
♪ You're the spitting image of me Aren't you? ♪
♪ You even got my birthmark ♪
♪ So, succumb to me ♪
♪ Succumb to me ♪
♪ Phantom of the theme park ♪
[laughs maniacally]
What friend? What's going on, Courtney?
♪ My heart is hell-bound ♪
♪ Come on, I gotta go ♪
♪ I don't belong here You know I'm meant below ♪
♪ Hey, Courtney, hey, buddy ♪
♪ You're gonna make me sad bark ♪
[howls]
♪ It's over now, it's over ♪
♪ Phantom of… ♪
[Josh and Logs harmonize] ♪ Phantom of… ♪
♪ The theme park ♪
Greetings, y'all.
Yes, I know. I look amazing. I'm a whole new me.
Norma. Ah. She did it.
Mm-mm. Don't you dare use my middle name.
Guards, throw these traitors into the dungeon.
[grunts] Quick, Barney! I-I can't hold them long.
[grunts] Stupid skinny jeans. Ah.
[growls]
Say "cheese".
-[camera shutter clicking] -Huh? Courtney? [grunts]
-[Pugsley] Argh! -Pugsley!
Tut-tut. Pictures cost extra, sweetie.
Take these two away.
Oh, and keep an eye on 'em.
Let's go, Red.
[cell door opens]
[grunts]
Logs, listen to me.
Sorry, Barney. I don't want to do this.
[lock clicks]
Then don't.
I can't lose my job. That's Pauline Phoenix.
I don't want to get on her bad side.
She's all bad side.
Use your magic to break the lock.
I can't, Barney. Too much magic.
And every time I use it, I can feel him coming--
[Temeluchus] Back!
Can't you talk to Logs? Sweeten him up?
Have a little… flirt?
Shh. He'll hear.
You do like him, don't you?
But… [groans]
Logs thinks I'm a traitor now. So, he's just--
A bit more of a challenge, but still objectively a dreamboat?
No. No.
♪ It's not like I sit around just obsessing ♪
♪ About his deep brown eyes ♪
♪ It's not like I lie awake while repressing ♪
♪ Tingly tummy butterflies ♪
♪ It's not like I filled a notebook up listing ♪
♪ The things we might talk about ♪
♪ It's not as though, even now I'm resisting the urge to ask him out ♪
♪ I mean, we'd have fun ♪
♪ It's not like he is the one ♪
♪ Sure, he's adorably shy ♪
♪ But he's just some guy ♪
♪ It's not like I've drawn up plans for our wedding ♪
♪ 'Cause that's A totally stalkerish thing to do ♪
♪ It's not as though I'm constantly dreading ♪
♪ What he'd say if he only knew ♪
♪ It's not like he's on ♪
♪ My every waking thought ♪
♪ I mean, he's totally hot ♪
♪ But he's just some guy ♪
♪ And when he looks at me… ♪
♪ I'm sure that all he sees… ♪
♪ Is just some guy ♪
♪ I'm just some guy ♪
[sighs]
-Did you say something, Barney? -Uh, yeah. I, uh--
Go on, say it.
[inhales] Logs, Pauline is abducting impersonators.
She abducted Jennifer Swan and she's gonna do it again.
This whole comeback show is an act, a scam.
She locked us up 'cause we found out, I swear.
We have to stop her. Also, you're really cute.
Want to go see a movie or something? [chuckles] Huh?
I knew it.
About Pauline?
No, that you wanted to ask me out.
I've been trying to ask you out all summer.
I've been a trying to ask you out all summer.
-Really? -[chuckles] Yeah.
Uh, can you let us out now?
You know, Norma in danger? Pauline bad? Really bad?
Oh. Let me get that.
Do what you gotta do. Shall we say Friday?
W-W-What movie? [chuckles nervously]
Anything but musicals.
[announcer] The Pauline Phoenix
Anniversary Comeback Extravaganza concert will commence shortly.
Please remember that all video and photography is strictly prohibited.
[crowd cheering]
Phoenix Parks, your queen has arrived.
[crowd cheering]
Come on, kids. Y'all know the words.
[chanting] Seal the body up. Seal the body up.
Pull, pull, smash, smash, smash.
Seal the body up. Seal the body up.
Pull, pull, smash, smash, smash.
[menacing music playing]
[cackles]
Bring me my encore!
♪ This ain't my final bye ♪
♪ Yes, my career's been as dead as I am ♪
♪ At least until now ♪
♪ 'Cause me, I'm a Phoenix, baby ♪
♪ And y'all, y'all are my spark ♪
♪ And I'm born again, born again ♪
♪ Phantom of the theme park ♪
[cackles] Bless your heart.
[grunts]
Courtney, you got to stop.
What's it take for a demon to get
an uninterrupted sealing spell around here?
That's Norma onstage, Courtney. She's under an illusion spell.
I don't care. You don't understand.
I do understand.
Look, I know what it's like wanting to go home, but--
But you can! You can skip home whenever.
You just choose not to.
I can't go home ever!
What makes you think Pauline has the kind of power to send you home
if she needs you for this?
I… I don't--
She lied to you. She used you like she uses everyone.
[growls]
[cheering]
[Courtney] Pauline!
Is this true?
Is what true, Red?
You don't know how to send me home, do you?
You just wanted the spell.
Oh. So you figured it out.
[growls]
I may not be able to open the elevator,
but I can send you to the underworld another way.
[growls] Bring it on! [grunts]
Courtney, no. That's Norma.
Pugsley.
Pugsley?
[growls]
Stop!
[Temeluchus] Courtney, stop!
[strains]
[grunts]
Pugsley!
Is that… Barney? Why is he in the show?
-It's not a show. -Patrick!
[grunts]
Pugsley?
It's too late. He's taken over.
What? Who?
-[Temeluchus] Me! -[gasps]
[laughing maniacally]
[Pugsley] Oh, no you don't!
[Temeluchus] Oh, don't mind if I do. [grunts]
[swing music playing]
[Temeluchus] ♪ Did you miss me, little doggy? ♪
♪ I've been sleeping deep inside ♪
♪ It's been cramped and kind of boring So how's about restoring me? ♪
♪ I'll take you for a ride ♪
♪ Actually, I'm good, no, thank you ♪
♪ I've been doing fine without you ♪
♪ With my powers and my voice ♪
♪ Yeah! ♪
♪ Uh, whose powers are those really? ♪
♪ You didn't come by them freely ♪
[Pugsley] ♪ I don't think I had much choice ♪
♪ Just put me in the driver's seat ♪
♪ Look at yourself ♪
♪ You're just two feet tall And made of meat ♪
♪ But being me Is the best thing you're ever gonna get ♪
♪ I promise you that ♪
♪ So you might as well Put me in the driver… ♪
♪ Put me in the driver Put me in the driver's seat ♪
[chuckles menacingly]
♪ I never asked for you inside me ♪
♪ I might just kick you out ♪
♪ And I could really do without this Demonic little plot twist ♪
♪ 'Cause Norma needs me now ♪
♪ Your bark is bigger Than your bite, kid ♪
♪ She's gone unless we're united So come on, baby ♪
♪ Give me that wheel, yeah ♪
♪ No, no, no Last time you tried to kill us ♪
♪ Oh, that was then, I beg forgiveness ♪
♪ So tell me, pug, do we have a deal? ♪
♪ Just put me ♪
♪ In the driver's seat ♪
[Pugsley] ♪ And you'll give it back? ♪
[Temeluchus] ♪ Oh, sure I'll put you back in one piece ♪
♪ If being you Is the only way we stop Pauline ♪
♪ I guess I better Put you in the driver… ♪
[Temeluchus] ♪ Put me in the driver… ♪
♪ Put you in the driver… ♪
♪ Put me in the driver… ♪
♪ Put you there in the driver's seat ♪
[Temeluchus laughing]
[Barney] Pugsley, are you okay?
[whimpers]
[snarls]
[growls]
I'm back. And my body is fully restored.
Hey! This is my comeback show.
Ha!
Well, well, well.
It looks like the old mutt was having some fun.
What do you think you're doing?
I'm the big bad around here.
Ugh.
[Pauline] No!
-[screams] -[gasps] Norma!
Gotcha.
Are you okay?
-Did we win? -[laughing maniacally]
[Barney] Not really.
[elevator dings]
[Zagan laughs]
-Patrick? -Patrick?
[darkly upbeat music playing]
[Temeluchus] ♪ Guess who's back Inside your dog? ♪
♪ It's your King, your Demon God ♪
♪ Temeluchus is my name ♪
♪ Family reunion is my game ♪
[cackles]
♪ Temmie, it's your sister ♪
♪ Oh, boy, how I've missed you ♪
♪ I brought you my army ♪
♪ Call it a housewarming present ♪
♪ I'll follow your orders, brother… ♪
Sorry.
♪ Chieftain of Torment ♪
♪ No! It was I who actually did it ♪
♪ Put your brother inside of this mutt ♪
♪ Get your demon cuffs off me ♪
♪ 'Cause I want to go down Down, down, down ♪
♪ Where I'll finally feel I belong ♪
♪ Down where I'll never sing another song ♪
♪ Please wipe my slate Of all my mistakes ♪
♪ Somewhere down there ♪
[sustains note]
[yawns]
[sustains higher note]
-[Zagan] Uh… -Oh.
Those aren't demon cuffs.
What?
Those were placed by angels.
Angels?
But an enemy of the angels is a friend of mine.
[gasps]
Go right ahead, comrade.
We need more demons like you down there.
Yes! I'm getting out of here.
Courtney. Are you leaving?
I'm like a thousand years old. I knew you guys for like five minutes.
I'm sorry.
If you don't die tonight, I'll send you a postcard.
Barney, I can't find Patrick!
-Mom! -Oh, keep it down.
-Patrick! Patrick! -Patrick--
Mom!
[all screaming]
I said keep it down.
[sighs] Much better.
So, Tem, you gonna show me your castle?
I've been dying to see what you've done with this miserable plane.
It would be my pleasure.
♪ Sometimes I think about death ♪
♪ And how many hours We've all got left ♪
♪ And… ♪
[both harmonize] ♪ How many nights we've spent ♪
♪ Saving the world ♪
♪ But days like today ♪
♪ Make all those other days seem… ♪
Mild.
♪ Even for us this is wild ♪
[both] ♪ 'Cause at Dead End ♪
♪ We're never finished at Dead End ♪
♪ Pugsley needs us ♪
♪ We cannot let him go ♪
[snarling]
♪ We've still got it ♪
♪ I've still got it, you know Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
♪ Down where it's nighttime All of the day ♪
♪ Down where no humans Will get in my way ♪
♪ I will be home, and never alone ♪
♪ Somewhere down there ♪
[dings]
♪ There ♪
[captivating music playing]