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SEBUAH SIRI NETFLIX

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- Tidak!
- Apa?

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Aduh!

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Hei!

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Apa? Solek dan dandan rambut sendiri?
Pergilah! Ini penerbitan jenis apa?

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PPC TELEVISYEN WARNA

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Helo. Saya Pauline Phoenix.
Selamat menonton wasiat saya.

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Jika anda menonton,

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dengan dukacitanya, saya telah meninggal.

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Kalau begitu, awas.
Kalau anda pernah buat saya marah,

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hantu saya akan kacau anda sampai mati.

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Terutamanya Tony, Veronica,

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lelaki dengki di kedai dobi…

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Nampaknya, saya dah tinggalkan alam fana,
sejahtera ke atas saya.

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<i>Saya tiada waris terdekat,</i>
<i>walaupun saya cuba mencari.</i>

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<i>Tapi ada seseorang</i>
<i>yang sentiasa ada di sisi saya.</i>

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<i>Saya wasiatkan semuanya,</i>

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<i>wang, taman,</i>

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<i>harimau balar saya, Destiny Ann,</i>

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<i>dan hak filem untuk kisah hidup saya,</i>

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<i>kepada kawan baik, teman sejiwa</i>
<i>dan pelakon lagak ngeri saya, Barborah.</i>

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Saya rasa dia maksudkan saya.

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BAB 11
BAWA MALAIKAT BERMAIN BOLING

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BAWAH PENGURUSAN BAHARU

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Lajunya benda ini!

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Dapat tangkap!

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Hei!

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Gelinya!

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Apa benda ini?

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Itu Gord. Filum Demollusca,
paya darah Gagen, Petala 11.

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Norma.

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Ya! Syaitan ketiga ditangkap minggu ini!

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Nyah kamu dari sini!

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Pugsley, awak lupa kuasa awak dah hilang?

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Saya ingat ia akan kembali.

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Biarlah pakar buat kerja.

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Apa…

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Gelinya!

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Macam lintah bulan berkulit kertas pasir!

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Di kepala saya!

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Saya nak cuba.

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Selamat datang ke Bumi.
Ini cara kami ucap helo.

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Di dunia sebelah sini.

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Jijiklah!

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Saya nak cecair basmi kuman!

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- Pencuci!
- Kena mata saya!

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Maaflah.

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Sejak Temeluchus pergi,

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saya cuma anjing bercakap
tanpa kuasa ajaib.

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Itu yang terakhir?

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New York ada lipas, London ada tikus,
Taman Phoenix ada syaitan.

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- Itu hakikat.
- Betul.

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Sejak syaitan mengganas,
Barborah tugaskan kita jaga lif.

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Takdir dunia dan kerja kita
bergantung padanya.

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- Kamu main boling malam ini?
- Itu juga.

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Jangan risau, manusia. Saya ada.

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Saya dah jaga sejak dulu.
Ini satu malam saja.

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Awak pasti?

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Kamu masih tak percayakan saya?

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- Percaya.
- Lebih kurang.

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Tiada apa-apa akan keluar. Saya janji.

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Ini janji kelingking.

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Atau kelengkeng?

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Terima kasih, Courtney.

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Jaringkan bola boling.
Menangi pin. Langgar…

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Saya tak tahu boling.

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Nampak? Saya uruskan.

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PUSAT BOLING ASTRO LANES

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<i>Selamat datang ke Astro Lanes.</i>
<i>Selamat lontar bola.</i>

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Mana perginya hantu pembunuh itu?

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Itu tak penting. Sekarang saya CEO.

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Saya akan bawa perubahan baik.

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Bermula dengan…

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kejohanan boling staf
yang wajib setiap Rabu!

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<i>Saya suka tumbas.</i>

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Hei, Barney!

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Hei!

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Maaf. Kami baru tiba.

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Damak? Saya nak main boling.

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Saya ingat awak nak main benda lain

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kerana Pembalak
akan buat awak kalah teruk!

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Pembalak?

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- Beri dia kasut, Hercules.
- Hei!

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Pembalak nak main lagi!

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Awas!

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Nanti dulu. Awak jaguh boling?

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Mesti awak pun hebat.

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Ya, saya tengok dia berlatih
sepanjang minggu…

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Diamlah.

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…dan satu kayu putih pun tak jatuh.

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Ini pasti memalukan.
Saya tak sanggup tengok.

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Atau saya boleh tengok

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dan rakam.

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Baiklah. Jumpa lagi.

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Gelinya! Kasut boling?
Saya tak terfikir pula.

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Saya tahu awak tak suka
kongsi kasut sukan,

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jadi saya bawakan hadiah.

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Kasut baru milik awak.

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Selamat hari jadi. Tak kira tarikhnya.

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Saya tahu.

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Saya yang terbaik.

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Teruskan berjaga.

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Saya dah jadi baik.

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Orang baik selalunya

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berjaga!

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Teruskan berjaga.

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Siapa itu?

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Ayuh, si kecil.
Saya takkan cederakan awak.

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Sangat.

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Tidak! Awak? Jangan tangkap saya!

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Jangan ganggu!

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Tolong!

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<i>Gagal.</i>

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Okey, semua.

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Saya nak lihat semangat, keazaman.
Saya nak lihat…

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<i>Ralat.</i>

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…benda tak rosak.

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- Barney! Apa halnya?
- Jangan risau.

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- Rasanya saya boleh baiki.
<i>- Saya kata, ralat!</i>

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Dah okey.

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Tak apa. Saya okey.

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Jangan risau.

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Awak! Pendek Bulat!

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Tiada kasut, tiada boling.

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Tapi tak ada yang muat kaki saya.

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Saya kata…

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Ya, saya dengarlah.

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PUSAT BOLING ASTRO LANES

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<i>Gagal. Gagal. Gagal.</i>

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<i>Tersasar. Tersasar. Alamak.</i>

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<i>- Gagal. Gagal.</i>
- Pugsley!

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Courtney. Nak main?
Awak jadi bekas suami nombor tujuh.

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Nanti. Sebelum itu,

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apa kata awak jika saya kata,
tangan gergasi kejar saya?

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- Saya nak tolong!
- Bagus! Sebab…

136
00:10:11,543 --> 00:10:14,209
Tapi saya dah tak ada kuasa ajaib.

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Apa awak boleh buat?

138
00:10:16,709 --> 00:10:19,709
- Saya pandai mendengar.
- Tak membantu!

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<i>Kali ini anda kalah, sayang.</i>

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Lorong empat.

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<i>Tumbas!</i>

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Lihat? Mudah saja.
Tiga langkah, ibu jari ke depan, golek.

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Boleh tunjukkan sekali lagi?

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Barney Guttman.

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Awak berlengah? Janganlah.

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00:11:22,293 --> 00:11:25,126
Awak ada bakat ter"pin"dam.

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Jadi, saya tak pandai main boling
dan awak tak pandai melawak.

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00:11:30,834 --> 00:11:33,543
Tapi saya ketawa "bergolek".

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Mungkin ini membantu.

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Barney!

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00:12:07,584 --> 00:12:08,418
<i>Gagal.</i>

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- Buat apa datang?
- Ada hal.

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00:12:11,209 --> 00:12:13,459
Awak patut jaga lif, bukan?

154
00:12:13,543 --> 00:12:15,126
Ya! Ada benda naik.

155
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Atau turun. Atau datang dari tepi?

156
00:12:18,501 --> 00:12:20,459
Courtney, awak dah janji.

157
00:12:20,543 --> 00:12:23,709
Saya nak jumpa Logs tanpa syaitan muncul.

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Muncul?

159
00:12:25,251 --> 00:12:26,209
Tak apa.

160
00:12:26,293 --> 00:12:29,376
Saya selesaikannya sendiri, macam biasa.

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Wah. Saya kagum.
Ada juga pemain boling seteruk awak.

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Betul!

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Saya akan tetapkan
rekod baru <i>whack-a-mole</i>.

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Mereka perlu cuci mainan ini.

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<i>- Tumbas!</i>
- Ya! Nampak?

166
00:14:13,459 --> 00:14:17,168
Kita patut mulakan audio siar
dengan kisah zombi.

167
00:14:17,251 --> 00:14:20,418
Tajuknya basi tapi mesti ramai pendengar.

168
00:14:20,501 --> 00:14:23,543
Pernahkah awak lupakan syaitan sehari?

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00:14:23,626 --> 00:14:24,459
Maaf.

170
00:14:25,209 --> 00:14:26,209
Giliran saya?

171
00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:30,459
Bolanya ada dua jenis,
simetri dan tak simetri.

172
00:14:30,543 --> 00:14:32,751
Ada banyak teknik lontaran.

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00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:35,709
Lantun, putar, sodok, cangkuk, undur…

174
00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:38,459
- Apa?
- Itu macam cara saya cakap.

175
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:42,626
Norma!

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- Tolong.
- Courtney.

177
00:14:45,209 --> 00:14:48,293
Akhirnya awak tiba. Berapa Gord keluar?

178
00:14:48,376 --> 00:14:50,751
Tak ada Gord keluar. Tapi…

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Saya nampak! Memang dahsyat!

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Apa?

181
00:14:54,918 --> 00:14:58,834
Saya perlu berhenti main boling
dan bantu awak?

182
00:14:58,918 --> 00:15:01,459
Terpaksalah saya berkorban.

183
00:15:01,543 --> 00:15:02,793
Apa halnya?

184
00:15:06,834 --> 00:15:07,918
Ada syaitan?

185
00:15:08,543 --> 00:15:09,793
Gantikan saya!

186
00:15:16,293 --> 00:15:17,834
Apa itu?

187
00:15:18,418 --> 00:15:21,501
Entah, tak ada pun dalam buku syaitan.

188
00:15:22,876 --> 00:15:28,126
Itu bukan syaitan. Itu raksasa.
Mari bunuh dan anggap ia tak wujud.

189
00:15:28,209 --> 00:15:29,709
Itu bukan caranya.

190
00:15:29,793 --> 00:15:33,959
Biar saya cuba lagi.
Mungkin dia nak berjabat tangan.

191
00:15:51,001 --> 00:15:55,626
Selamat datang ke Bumi.
Ini jabat tangan, cara untuk menyapa.

192
00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:58,751
- Mungkin tidak.
- Norma!

193
00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:00,168
Jangan!

194
00:16:02,084 --> 00:16:03,418
Tepuk tinggi?

195
00:16:07,668 --> 00:16:08,501
Apa saya buat?

196
00:16:08,584 --> 00:16:10,584
- Awak tampar muka!
- Apa?

197
00:16:12,668 --> 00:16:15,584
Sudah berhubung. Musuh dikesan.

198
00:16:30,876 --> 00:16:32,334
Jangan gatal tangan!

199
00:16:34,918 --> 00:16:37,293
Nyah kamu dari sini!

200
00:16:38,376 --> 00:16:39,418
Tolonglah.

201
00:16:56,293 --> 00:16:57,793
Barborah!

202
00:16:57,876 --> 00:16:58,876
Tolong kami!

203
00:17:07,543 --> 00:17:10,834
Saya suruh kamu halau syaitan!

204
00:17:10,918 --> 00:17:12,376
Tapi ini apa?

205
00:17:12,459 --> 00:17:14,251
Kerja lebih masa?

206
00:17:19,543 --> 00:17:23,334
Maaf, saya tak berniat
nak tampar muka awak. Hei.

207
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,459
Nak laga siku? Tak nak?

208
00:17:25,543 --> 00:17:26,876
Awak nak? Siku?

209
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:00,709
- Barney!
- Logs!

210
00:18:00,793 --> 00:18:05,043
- Tak, Pembalak.
- Saya pakai baju kotak-kotak sekali saja.

211
00:18:09,459 --> 00:18:10,751
Lepaskan saya!

212
00:18:13,501 --> 00:18:15,084
Apa kita nak buat?

213
00:18:27,918 --> 00:18:30,209
Sebab ini saya benci boling.

214
00:18:30,293 --> 00:18:33,001
Sebab ini saya benci syaitan.

215
00:18:33,084 --> 00:18:37,709
Maaf, saya nak awak kagum,
tapi saya tak pandai main boling!

216
00:18:37,793 --> 00:18:41,418
- Tak apa. Bincang nanti?
- Tapi awak rasa saya…

217
00:18:41,501 --> 00:18:44,293
Aduhai, awak memang hebat!

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00:18:58,293 --> 00:19:00,043
Tidak!

219
00:19:00,126 --> 00:19:02,209
<i>Kamu tak percayakan saya?</i>

220
00:19:02,293 --> 00:19:03,918
<i>- Percaya.</i>
<i>- Lebih kurang.</i>

221
00:19:04,751 --> 00:19:06,084
Ini salah saya.

222
00:19:08,918 --> 00:19:10,251
Pugsley!

223
00:19:10,334 --> 00:19:14,376
<i>Tiada apa-apa akan keluar. Saya janji.</i>

224
00:19:14,459 --> 00:19:17,251
Saya tak nak dia tangkap saya!

225
00:19:22,126 --> 00:19:24,501
- Tidak!
- Courtney, awak gila?

226
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:30,584
Pergi dari sini!

227
00:19:40,626 --> 00:19:41,501
Courtney?

228
00:19:41,584 --> 00:19:43,084
Dia tahu nama awak!

229
00:19:43,168 --> 00:19:45,459
Saya minta maaf, okey?

230
00:19:45,543 --> 00:19:47,168
Saya cuba buat baik.

231
00:19:47,251 --> 00:19:50,501
Tak apa. Gari saya, hukum saya, apa saja,

232
00:19:50,584 --> 00:19:53,043
tapi jangan sakiti kawan saya.

233
00:19:53,126 --> 00:19:54,543
Kamu kenal?

234
00:19:56,251 --> 00:20:00,584
Ada salah faham.
Saya nak ucap tahniah kepada kamu.

235
00:20:00,668 --> 00:20:03,293
Untuk apa? Kerosakan harta benda?

236
00:20:08,751 --> 00:20:11,501
Sebab hentikan serangan itu.

237
00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:15,126
Terutamanya Courtney.
Dia bintang di atas sana.

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00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:18,543
Bukan senang kalahkan dua raja iblis.

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00:20:19,168 --> 00:20:20,626
Tanpa Courtney,

240
00:20:20,709 --> 00:20:22,626
mereka akan takluk Bumi

241
00:20:22,709 --> 00:20:24,543
dan serang malaikat.

242
00:20:24,626 --> 00:20:26,334
Tunggu. Malaikat?

243
00:20:26,418 --> 00:20:27,543
Sudah tentu!

244
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:30,709
Maaf. Saya belum perkenalkan diri.

245
00:20:31,334 --> 00:20:33,001
Saya Jemari. Saya…

246
00:20:33,793 --> 00:20:35,084
malaikat.

247
00:20:35,168 --> 00:20:37,751
Oh hantuku. Saya tampar malaikat.

248
00:20:39,043 --> 00:20:41,251
Biar saya buka gari awak.

249
00:20:41,334 --> 00:20:43,459
Sebenarnya, ia

250
00:20:44,918 --> 00:20:46,293
jatuh di bilik air?

251
00:20:49,709 --> 00:20:51,501
Ada berita baik lagi.

252
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,459
Saya akan tinggal dengan kamu!

253
00:20:55,543 --> 00:20:57,334
Tak perlulah.

254
00:20:57,418 --> 00:20:59,293
Kamu takkan perasan pun.

255
00:20:59,376 --> 00:21:02,459
Saya cuma kawan baik yang pastikan kamu

256
00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:04,376
tak langgar peraturan.

257
00:21:04,459 --> 00:21:06,001
Macam pegawai parol?

258
00:21:07,251 --> 00:21:08,376
Lucu bunyinya.

259
00:21:08,459 --> 00:21:13,584
Tak, saya akan pantau dan bantu awak
biasakan diri dengan kebebasan

260
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tanpa sebabkan pelanggaran antaradimensi.

261
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,126
Itu memang pegawai parol.

262
00:21:19,209 --> 00:21:23,668
Jangan pedulikan saya.
Teruskan permainan jatuhkan benda.

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00:21:23,751 --> 00:21:25,418
Tempat ini bersepah…

264
00:21:28,251 --> 00:21:32,084
- Syabas, kru penghalau syaitan.
- Mari main.

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00:21:37,876 --> 00:21:39,543
Okey, kami jaga awak.

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00:21:44,584 --> 00:21:46,334
- Ya!
<i>- Ralat.</i>

267
00:21:46,418 --> 00:21:49,876
Hei, tahu tak? Seronok dapat melepak.

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00:21:49,959 --> 00:21:52,876
<i>Ralat! Berhenti tekan saya.</i>

269
00:21:53,501 --> 00:21:56,459
Saya dah jemu main boling. Nak makan?

270
00:22:06,376 --> 00:22:07,793
<i>Tumbas, sayang!</i>

271
00:22:10,001 --> 00:22:11,293
Saya yang buat?

272
00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:16,834
Awak buat? Boleh awak ajar saya?

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00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:19,001
Mestilah.

274
00:22:22,501 --> 00:22:24,251
Ya. Itulah dia.

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Terjemahan sari kata oleh F. Zainal