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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎什麼叫我要自己做梳化妝？

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‎給我後退

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‎這到底是什麼爛節目？

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‎你好，我是寶琳菲尼克斯

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‎歡迎收看我的遺囑影片

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‎如果你看到這支影片

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‎那就表示我已經不幸過世

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‎也就是說，給我小心點

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‎因為你要是曾惹過我

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‎我變鬼也會糾纏你到天荒地老

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‎尤其是下面這幾個

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‎東尼、薇若妮卡

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‎乾洗店的壞心矮子…

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‎想也知道我已經羽化登仙

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‎願我安息

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‎我一直都沒找到最近親屬

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‎絕對不是因為沒用心找

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‎不過有一個人從頭到尾都陪著我

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‎所以我要把一切

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‎財富、遊樂園

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‎白虎小安

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‎還有我畢生經歷的電影權

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‎留給我的閨密、知己兼替身

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‎芭波拉

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‎她說的好像是我

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‎第 11 章：帶天使去打保齡球

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‎（換老闆了）

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‎這玩意看起來沒那麼會跑啊

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‎還想往哪跑啊

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‎好噁

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‎這是什麼東西？

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‎它不是東西，它是阿狗

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‎屬軟體惡魔門，來自11界嘉根血沼

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‎諾瑪

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‎好耶，這是我們這週抓的第三隻惡魔

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‎我驅逐汝

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‎小巴，你已經不會魔法了，記得嗎？

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‎我知道，我只是想說這樣可能會恢復

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‎拜託，交給專家處理吧

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‎什麼鬼？

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‎噁…

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‎噁心死了！

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‎根本就是砂紙做的蛞蝓

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‎而且還黏在我頭上

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‎我試試看

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‎歡迎來到地球

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‎這是我們的打招呼方式

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‎至少是這個國家的習慣啦

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‎噁心

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‎殺菌劑！我要殺菌劑！

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‎-殺菌劑…
‎-眼睛好痛！

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‎大家對不起

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‎自從泰蒙路柯斯離開後

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‎我就變成除了會人話
‎半點魔法都沒有的平凡小狗

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‎拜託不要再有別隻惡魔了

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‎紐約少不了蟑螂，倫敦少不了老鼠

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‎菲尼克斯遊樂園少不了惡魔

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‎事實勝於雄辯

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‎沒錯，自從上次惡魔湧進遊樂園

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‎芭波拉把看守電梯的職責交給我們

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‎世界的命運和我們的工作

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‎就要靠我們了

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‎今晚不是要去打保齡球嗎？

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‎那個也要靠我們

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‎別擔心，人類，這裡交給我

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‎我已經看守這東西一輩子了

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‎多一晚算什麼？

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‎妳確定嗎？

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‎等等，你們還是信不過我？

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‎-當然
‎-有一點

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‎有我看著，休想有東西越雷池一步

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‎我可以掛保證

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‎我如果有小指就跟你們打勾勾

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‎這比較算是…小爪

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‎好吧，謝謝妳，蔻妮

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‎保齡要得分喔，贏下球瓶，打個…

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‎我不懂保齡球

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‎看到沒？盡忠職守

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‎（太空保齡球館）

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‎歡迎地球人光臨太空保齡球館

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‎祝你們打球愉快

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‎不知道那個殺人鬼去哪了

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‎不重要，現在執行長是我了

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‎我要讓這個爛地方有全新氣象

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‎首先是…

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‎強制參加的週三員工保齡球大賽

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‎我最喜歡全倒

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‎巴尼

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‎不好意思，我們剛到

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‎這是飛鏢，我是來打保齡球的

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‎我還以為你會想玩別的

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‎因為我們的伐木工
‎會把你壓在地上磨擦

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‎伐木工？

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‎海克力斯，把鞋給他啦

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‎大家聽著

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‎伐木工又要來秀一手了

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‎樹要倒囉

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‎等等，你是保齡球天才嗎？

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‎巴尼，你一定也很會打

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‎對啊，他超強

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‎我看他練習整個禮拜

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‎乖狗狗，趴下

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‎一次都沒看到他打倒那些小白瓶

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‎到時候一定很難堪，我不忍心看

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‎不過我其實看得下去

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‎而且還會錄下來

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‎好啦，阿海，先這樣

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‎噁！保齡球鞋？

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‎我竟然沒預料到會這樣

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‎我有，我還知道妳對公用鞋的看法

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‎所以就帶了禮物要送妳

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‎全新登場，而且專屬於妳

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‎生日快樂

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‎雖然不知是哪天

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‎我知道

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‎不用謝我

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‎我得保持清醒

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‎妳已經改邪歸正了，蔻妮

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‎好人不長…

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‎醒醒！

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‎保持清醒

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‎是誰？

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‎小傢伙，出來吧，我不會傷害你

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‎我是說重傷

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‎怎麼會是你！別抓我

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‎別過來！

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‎救命…

129
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‎失敗

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‎大家聽著

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‎我要看到熱情

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‎我要看到決心，我要看到…

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‎錯誤

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‎…東西零故障

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‎巴尼，有什麼問題嗎？

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‎別擔心

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‎-我能修好，應該吧
‎-錯誤，我說過“錯誤”沒？

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‎修好了

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‎沒事，我沒事

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‎不用擔心

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‎你這顆小鋼砲

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‎沒穿保齡球鞋不准打球

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‎可是這裡沒有適合我後腳的鞋

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‎我說…

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‎知道啦，我聽到了

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‎（太空保齡球館）

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‎失敗…沒中…

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‎該死，失敗…

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‎-小巴
‎-蔻妮

150
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‎想玩雙打嗎？給妳當七號前夫

151
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‎下次吧

152
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‎不過假如我說有巨大怪手在追我
‎你會怎麼樣？

153
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‎-我會很樂意幫妳
‎-太好了，因為…

154
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‎不過我已經沒有魔力了

155
00:10:14,709 --> 00:10:16,626
‎那你能做什麼？

156
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‎我很擅長傾聽

157
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‎真沒用

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‎達令，你這次輸慘了

159
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‎第四球道

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‎全倒

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‎看吧？很簡單

162
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‎走三步，大拇指向前，讓球自己滾

163
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‎可以再示範一次嗎？

164
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‎巴尼戈曼

165
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‎你是在拖時間嗎？別這樣

166
00:11:22,293 --> 00:11:25,126
‎你有打補中的天分，或是打不中

167
00:11:26,043 --> 00:11:27,918
‎我們今天對彼此多了好多認識

168
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‎我不會打保齡球，你不會講雙關語

169
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‎我這就“滾”了

170
00:11:34,251 --> 00:11:35,793
‎這樣可能會有幫助

171
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‎巴尼！

172
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‎失敗

173
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‎妳怎麼會在這？

174
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‎出事了

175
00:12:11,168 --> 00:12:13,459
‎妳不是負責看守電梯嗎？

176
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‎對啊，出事了

177
00:12:15,209 --> 00:12:17,959
‎還是要說出電梯了？出門了？

178
00:12:18,543 --> 00:12:20,543
‎拜託，蔻妮，妳自己答應過的

179
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‎我好不容易可以跟小羅玩

180
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‎不被惡魔打擾…

181
00:12:23,793 --> 00:12:25,168
‎不被惡魔打擾？

182
00:12:25,251 --> 00:12:26,251
‎我懂了

183
00:12:26,334 --> 00:12:29,126
‎我會跟往常一樣獨自拯救大家

184
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:32,126
‎我真的很佩服

185
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:34,876
‎原來保齡球可以打這麼爛

186
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‎說得好

187
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‎我要打破打地鼠的歷史高分紀錄

188
00:14:07,793 --> 00:14:10,043
‎這些玩具真的要洗一洗

189
00:14:11,501 --> 00:14:13,418
‎-全倒
‎-好耶，妳有看到嗎？

190
00:14:13,501 --> 00:14:14,418
‎我在想

191
00:14:14,501 --> 00:14:17,168
‎我們第一集Podcast可以聊喪屍

192
00:14:17,251 --> 00:14:19,001
‎我知道這主題已經被說爛了

193
00:14:19,084 --> 00:14:20,376
‎不過會有很多人聽

194
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:23,543
‎諾瑪，妳有一天不去想過惡魔嗎？

195
00:14:23,626 --> 00:14:24,459
‎抱歉

196
00:14:25,209 --> 00:14:26,043
‎換我了嗎？

197
00:14:26,793 --> 00:14:28,584
‎妳知道保齡球有兩種嗎？

198
00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,418
‎對稱的和非對稱的

199
00:14:30,501 --> 00:14:32,751
‎擲球技巧也有很多種

200
00:14:32,834 --> 00:14:35,709
‎有彈跳球、飛碟球
‎雙手式、曲球、反手曲球…

201
00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:38,209
‎-怎樣？
‎-我平常聽起來一定就是這樣

202
00:14:41,793 --> 00:14:42,626
‎諾瑪！

203
00:14:42,709 --> 00:14:43,876
‎可以幫我嗎？

204
00:14:43,959 --> 00:14:45,126
‎蔻妮

205
00:14:45,209 --> 00:14:47,126
‎比我預期的晚五分鐘

206
00:14:47,209 --> 00:14:48,293
‎跑出幾隻阿狗？

207
00:14:48,376 --> 00:14:50,334
‎沒半隻，不過…

208
00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:51,751
‎我看到了

209
00:14:51,834 --> 00:14:53,418
‎太可怕了

210
00:14:54,001 --> 00:14:57,251
‎什麼？你說我要立刻放下保齡球

211
00:14:57,334 --> 00:14:58,251
‎過來幫你？

212
00:14:58,334 --> 00:15:01,459
‎好吧，看來我只好犧牲了

213
00:15:01,543 --> 00:15:02,793
‎有什麼狀況？

214
00:15:06,834 --> 00:15:07,918
‎我猜是惡魔吧

215
00:15:08,543 --> 00:15:09,626
‎妳幫我打吧

216
00:15:16,293 --> 00:15:17,834
‎那是什麼？

217
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:21,501
‎不知道，惡魔書裡沒有記載

218
00:15:22,876 --> 00:15:25,001
‎那不是惡魔，那是…

219
00:15:25,084 --> 00:15:25,959
‎怪物

220
00:15:26,043 --> 00:15:28,084
‎我們就殺了它，假裝沒見過

221
00:15:28,168 --> 00:15:30,209
‎不行，不能這樣

222
00:15:30,293 --> 00:15:31,251
‎讓我再試一次

223
00:15:31,334 --> 00:15:33,959
‎這隻可能會喜歡握手

224
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,126
‎歡迎來到地球

225
00:15:52,209 --> 00:15:53,834
‎這是握手

226
00:15:53,918 --> 00:15:55,501
‎是一種問候方式

227
00:15:56,834 --> 00:15:57,834
‎不喜歡也沒關係

228
00:15:57,918 --> 00:15:58,751
‎諾瑪

229
00:15:58,834 --> 00:16:00,168
‎不要…

230
00:16:02,168 --> 00:16:03,001
‎那擊掌呢？

231
00:16:07,668 --> 00:16:08,501
‎我怎麼了？

232
00:16:08,584 --> 00:16:10,584
‎-妳打了它一巴掌
‎-什麼？

233
00:16:12,668 --> 00:16:15,584
‎進行直接接觸，偵測到敵意環境

234
00:16:30,876 --> 00:16:32,334
‎給我把手放開

235
00:16:34,918 --> 00:16:37,293
‎我驅逐汝！

236
00:16:38,376 --> 00:16:39,543
‎拜託喔

237
00:16:56,293 --> 00:16:57,793
‎芭波拉

238
00:16:57,876 --> 00:16:58,876
‎救救我們

239
00:17:07,543 --> 00:17:10,834
‎我不是任命你們當除魔大隊？

240
00:17:10,918 --> 00:17:12,376
‎這算什麼？

241
00:17:12,459 --> 00:17:14,251
‎加班？

242
00:17:19,543 --> 00:17:22,918
‎別走，對不起
‎我不是故意要打你巴掌

243
00:17:23,418 --> 00:17:25,459
‎想要撞肘問候嗎？不要？

244
00:17:25,543 --> 00:17:26,876
‎你呢？撞個肘？

245
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:00,793
‎-巴尼
‎-小羅

246
00:18:00,876 --> 00:18:02,126
‎我是說，伐木工

247
00:18:02,209 --> 00:18:04,793
‎我也只是在這穿過一次格子襯衫而已

248
00:18:09,459 --> 00:18:10,751
‎放開我！

249
00:18:13,501 --> 00:18:14,668
‎我們該怎麼辦？

250
00:18:28,626 --> 00:18:30,209
‎所以我才不喜歡打保齡球

251
00:18:30,793 --> 00:18:32,418
‎所以我才不喜歡惡魔

252
00:18:33,043 --> 00:18:35,459
‎小羅，對不起，我想跟你打保齡球

253
00:18:35,543 --> 00:18:37,834
‎可是我打很爛，但我想讓你佩服

254
00:18:37,918 --> 00:18:40,043
‎巴尼，你不爛
‎可以晚點再談嗎？

255
00:18:40,126 --> 00:18:41,418
‎你真的覺得…

256
00:18:41,501 --> 00:18:44,293
‎拜託喔，巴尼，你真的很厲害

257
00:18:58,293 --> 00:19:00,084
‎不…

258
00:19:00,168 --> 00:19:02,209
‎你們還是信不過我？

259
00:19:02,293 --> 00:19:03,668
‎-當然
‎-有一點

260
00:19:04,751 --> 00:19:06,084
‎都是我的錯

261
00:19:08,918 --> 00:19:09,834
‎小巴！

262
00:19:10,376 --> 00:19:13,168
‎有我看著，休想有東西越雷池一步

263
00:19:13,251 --> 00:19:14,418
‎我可以掛保證

264
00:19:14,501 --> 00:19:17,376
‎不能讓他把我抓走

265
00:19:22,126 --> 00:19:22,959
‎休想得逞！

266
00:19:23,043 --> 00:19:24,501
‎蔻妮，妳瘋了嗎？

267
00:19:29,334 --> 00:19:30,334
‎滾出去！

268
00:19:40,626 --> 00:19:41,543
‎蔻妮？

269
00:19:41,626 --> 00:19:43,043
‎他知道妳的名字耶

270
00:19:43,126 --> 00:19:45,459
‎對不起，好嗎？

271
00:19:45,543 --> 00:19:47,168
‎我一直都很乖

272
00:19:47,251 --> 00:19:50,501
‎不過隨你要銬、要懲罰都行

273
00:19:50,584 --> 00:19:53,043
‎別傷害我朋友就行，好嗎？

274
00:19:53,126 --> 00:19:54,543
‎你們兩個認識？

275
00:19:56,334 --> 00:19:58,126
‎誤會大了

276
00:19:58,209 --> 00:20:00,501
‎我過來是要恭喜你們

277
00:20:00,584 --> 00:20:03,418
‎恭喜什麼？大規模財損嗎？

278
00:20:08,834 --> 00:20:11,501
‎當然是要恭喜你們阻止惡魔入侵

279
00:20:11,584 --> 00:20:12,876
‎尤其是親愛的蔻妮

280
00:20:12,959 --> 00:20:15,126
‎她在上界根本是超級巨星

281
00:20:15,209 --> 00:20:18,543
‎一次阻止兩位惡魔王可不容易

282
00:20:19,168 --> 00:20:20,626
‎要不是蔻妮的英勇表現

283
00:20:20,709 --> 00:20:22,334
‎他們一定會不只征服地球

284
00:20:22,418 --> 00:20:24,543
‎還上來攻擊我們天使

285
00:20:24,626 --> 00:20:26,334
‎等等，天使？

286
00:20:26,418 --> 00:20:27,543
‎沒錯

287
00:20:27,626 --> 00:20:30,709
‎抱歉，我還沒正式自我介紹

288
00:20:31,334 --> 00:20:33,001
‎我叫手指，我…

289
00:20:33,793 --> 00:20:35,084
‎我是天使

290
00:20:35,668 --> 00:20:37,834
‎我的地啊，我打了天使一巴掌

291
00:20:39,043 --> 00:20:40,834
‎我幫妳解開手銬吧

292
00:20:41,334 --> 00:20:43,459
‎是這樣的，手銬…

293
00:20:45,001 --> 00:20:46,293
‎好像在洗澡時掉了

294
00:20:49,709 --> 00:20:51,501
‎我還有好消息

295
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,459
‎我以後會跟你們一起生活

296
00:20:55,543 --> 00:20:57,418
‎其實沒這個必要啦

297
00:20:57,501 --> 00:20:59,251
‎你們不太會注意到我

298
00:20:59,334 --> 00:21:02,459
‎我只會偶爾出來關心妳

299
00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:04,459
‎以免妳打破什麼規則

300
00:21:04,543 --> 00:21:06,001
‎是像假釋官一樣嗎？

301
00:21:07,251 --> 00:21:08,376
‎這個詞真有趣

302
00:21:08,459 --> 00:21:10,168
‎我換句話說好了

303
00:21:10,251 --> 00:21:13,584
‎我會監視妳，助妳適應新得到的自由

304
00:21:13,668 --> 00:21:16,959
‎不要再搞出跨次元違規

305
00:21:17,043 --> 00:21:19,168
‎聽起來就是假釋官

306
00:21:19,251 --> 00:21:20,584
‎總之先別在意我

307
00:21:20,668 --> 00:21:23,668
‎你們繼續玩打倒東西的小遊戲吧

308
00:21:23,751 --> 00:21:25,418
‎你有看到這裡的狀…

309
00:21:28,251 --> 00:21:30,376
‎除魔小隊，幹得好

310
00:21:30,959 --> 00:21:32,084
‎開始玩吧

311
00:21:37,876 --> 00:21:39,543
‎好啦，我們會養你

312
00:21:44,584 --> 00:21:45,418
‎好耶

313
00:21:47,084 --> 00:21:49,876
‎其實呢，偶爾出來玩也不錯

314
00:21:49,959 --> 00:21:52,876
‎錯誤，別再戳我了

315
00:21:53,501 --> 00:21:55,418
‎我今天保齡球也打夠了

316
00:21:55,501 --> 00:21:56,501
‎要去吃東西嗎？

317
00:22:06,376 --> 00:22:07,793
‎全倒，寶貝

318
00:22:10,126 --> 00:22:11,293
‎這是我做的嗎？

319
00:22:14,126 --> 00:22:15,418
‎是你做的？

320
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:16,834
‎你能教我嗎？

321
00:22:18,001 --> 00:22:19,001
‎當然沒問題

322
00:22:22,501 --> 00:22:24,334
‎對，就是牠

323
00:23:33,084 --> 00:23:35,959
‎字幕翻譯：韓仁耀